MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Joe Rogan

Ranking the Four Most Likely “Huge Announcement” Opponents for Ronda Rousey

As many of us noted following Ronda Rousey‘s quick win over Sara McMann at UFC 170, the women’s bantamweight division is quickly running out of viable contenders. Watching Rousey dispatch any and all opposition has been thrilling these past couple of years, sure, but it has also shown fans just how far above the skill level of her competitors “Rowdy” truly is. And unlike the middleweight division during the Silva era, the women’s bantamweight division is simply too shallow to keep feeding Rousey journey(wo)men and expecting fans to pay the price of admission.

With the division housing their quote unquote “biggest star” rapidly approaching purgatory, the UFC appears to be in dire need of a change-up. That’s where Joe Rogan steps in, as he did during an interview with KROQ’s Kevin & Bean Show (audio above) last Friday, stating that a “huge announcement” regarding Rousey’s next opponent is coming our way:

I can say no more than I’ve already said. I will tell you this, and this is a KROQ exclusive, within the next probably week or so a huge announcement will come about women’s fighting and I’ll be back in [the studio] and we’ll talk some more. It’s going to be crazy. Madness. I wish I could [talk about it now], but I would betray the confidence of my friend and employer.

Knowing Rogan as well as we do (I think Seth bumped into him at an expo one time, maybe?), this can only mean that Rousey’s next opponent is one of four people. Join us after the jump as we definitively rank those opponents in order of probability.

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On This Day in MMA History: Joe Rogan Loses His Sh*t Over Spilled Bag of Ice [VIDEO]

On This Day in MMA History” pays tribute to some of the more bizarre and infamous moments from MMA’s past. Four years ago today, on February 6th, 2010, UFC 109: Relentless took place, featuring Mark Coleman’s final appearance in the UFC, Matt Serra’s final victory in the UFC…and an Octagon ice spill that will forever live in infamy. The following post was published on CagePotato three days later.

*********

Those of you who missed the Spike TV broadcast of the Melvin Guillard-Ronnys Torres fight at UFC 109 didn’t just miss a very close three-round scrap, you also missed a chance to see Joe Rogan flip out over something besides marijuanalocker room meat-gazers, or the craziness of space. I refer now, of course, to an ice spill in the Octagon.

It’s no one’s fault, really, except maybe the person who decided to use a cheap grocery store produce bag in Torres’s corner. The thing comes apart at the most inopportune time, and the result is a group of grown men trying frantically to clean up a large pile of ice while Rogan yells at them and a packed arena boos their efforts.

The difficulty these men (or, as Rogan refers to them, “the goddamn Three Stooges”) have in this task just goes to show how much more difficult everything becomes in a high-pressure situation. Try unlocking your front door while someone yells at you about what an incapable moron you are, or clean up broken eggs on the kitchen floor as your emotionally unstable girlfriend stands nearby and refers to the situation as “a disaster.” Then maybe you’ll understand.

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UFC on Fox 9: The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly


(Uh…guys? I’m pretty sure that’s Herb Dean. / Screencap via r/MMA)

By Mark Dorsey

Before we get into the endless promotion for the year-ending and stacked UFC 168: Weidman vs. Silva 2, let’s take one last, clear-eyed look at what went down at WEC UFC on Fox 9. The injury-cursed event seemed destined to be a disappointment to many fans who consider the lighter fighters boring, especially considering it was the lightest fight card in UFC history, with an average weight of just over 145 pounds. The fact that the fights were taking place at the Sleep Train Arena seemed like a bad omen, foretelling the coma-inducing boredom that might have resulted from a night of decisions. Nevertheless, despite the haters, the smaller guys provided a card of highly entertaining fights and they showcased why many MMA purists consider them the most exciting fighters in the sport.

The Good
• Too often, referees only get noticed when they screw up. However, the officials for this card should be praised for a solid night of work in which they did their jobs properly and kept the focus where it belongs: the fighters. Props to John McCarthy, Herb Dean, and Mike Beltran for getting through the 11-fight card with no critical errors. Even Dana White, who has been openly critical of MMA officiating in the past, praised both Big John and Herb Dean, saying, “These are the best guys” and complimented his one-time nemesis, McCarthy, saying, “When John is in that Octagon, he is in absolute and total control.”

• Much has been written lately about the success of Team Alpha Male under head trainer, Daune “Bang” Ludwig. Saturday night gave the camp an opportunity to showcase how deserving they were of that praise, with four fighters from the Sacramento-based crew competing. As a whole, the team didn’t perform flawlessly, but they did manage to win two of their four fights. It was a great night for Urijah Faber, as the hometown hero steamrolled Michael McDonald and established himself — again — as the top contender in the Bantamweight division. Chad Mendes also did what he needed to, beating Nik Lentz by unanimous decision. On the losing side, Danny Castillo dropped a close decision to Edson Barboza that many thought should have been a draw, and Joseph Benavidez got knocked out cold by Demetrious Johnson. Other than Benavidez, Team Alpha looked good, and judging from their backstage reaction to Urijah Faber’s win, they truly are a tightknit group that will continue their upward trajectory.

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[VIDEOS] Joe Rogan Names the Top 8 Heavyweight & Head Kick KO’s in UFC History

When he’s not busy chasing Bigfoot, obliterating pads in the gym, or supportively talking Fear Factor contestants through the subtle intricacies of chugging donkey semen, chances are that Joe Rogan is either jet setting around the world to maintain his gig as the UFC’s color commentator or destroying hecklers at one of his standup gigs. Rogan is truly the closest thing to a renaissance man that the UFC has to offer, which is probably why UFC Tonight grants him the exclusive privilege of compiling more “Best of” lists than a Buzzfeed writer born in the early 90′s.

Rogan’s first countdown focuses on the heavyweight division’s greatest knockouts of “all time.” I say “all time” with sarcastiquotes because according to Rogan, the heavyweight division contained zero knockouts of note before UFC 70 in 2007. In fact, 7 out of Joe’s 8 picks have all come within the past three years. WHY YOU GOTTA DISRESPECT BRAD KOHLER LIKE THAT, BRO(gan)?

Check out Rogan’s full list above, then join us after the jump to hear him riff on all things head kick-related.

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Hilarious Video of the Day: Miley Cyrus at the VMAs, With Commentary by Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg


(Props: FreeFights4You via Luke Thomas)

Apologies if you saw it already, but this is an absolute classic. “Full back-mount here! Aw, this is nasty. This…this is horrific.”

#dead

Previously: Miley Cyrus Performs at the VMAs, Tries Too Hard, Is Gross

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Note to Self: Don’t Get Kicked by Joe Rogan [VIDEOS]


(Props: BangMuayThai)

A black belt in both Tae Kwon Do and 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu, Joe Rogan has managed to keep his fighting skills sharp despite a full schedule of UFC color-commentating, podcasting, stand-up gigs, and sasquatch-hunting. We’ve already seen him break down the turning side-kick, and two new videos feature a couple more nasty kicks in Joe’s arsenal.

Above, Rogan fires off some wheel-kicks that look like they might break TJ Dillashaw‘s arm off. Yeah, I know, pads don’t hit back, but holy crap, those kicks have some mustard on ‘em. After the jump, Rogan shows acclaimed trainer Duane “Bang” Ludwig his front-leg side kick, and how to transition to the turning side-kick off of it.

Discussion question: Let’s say — hypothetically, of course —that Joe Rogan discovers the secret of time-travel, and replaces Zane Frazier in the UFC 1 bracket. How far does he go, and how much differently does MMA history play out? And what would be the potential ramifications if he meets his younger self at UFC 12? Please answer quickly, as the first draft of my new sci-fi novel (CAGE TRAVELER) is due to the publisher next week.

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Sad Video of The Day: Lyoto Machida Now Drinking Urine of Complete Strangers


(Props: Panico na Band via Magnum1977)

Ok, we’re starting to suspect that Lyoto Machida‘s piss-drinking habit has more to do with exhibitionism than supposed health benefits. That the former UFC light heavyweight champion learned to drink urine from his father (writing that sentence just gave me the creeps) is well documented. It is clear now, however, that Lyoto’s urine addiction is out of control.

No longer does he partake solely within the confines of secure training environments where the waste liquid he ingests can be trusted to be “clean,” as the video evidence above shows Machida is now drinking the urine of complete strangers. That is, as long as they drink his urine as well. Clearly, this has all just become a game to pee-pee party boy Lyoto. Sad.

And, no more jokes — this is just gross.

Who could have guessed that this is what “The Machida Era” would entail. We’re not saying his golden showers are directly contributing to his lackluster performances in recent years, but how could they be helping?

What do you think, nation? Is this more or less disgusting/erotic than Joe Rogan forcing blonde chicks to guzzle donkey semen? And, will this writer ever be able to redeem himself after cashing checks for writing about both of these episodes? Our answers: More disgusting, less erotic, and no.

By the way, the woman featured in this clip is Pânico na TV reporter Sabrina Sato whose resume includes “having her body covered with bees, lighting candles by fart, being buried alive, allowing a scorpion to sting her on her bare backside, belching the lyrics to songs/ stories, and even eating bugs.” WIFE MATERIAL.

- Elias Cepeda

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Brian Stann to Fill in for Joe Rogan as UFC 163 Color-Commentator


(“…AND ONCE AGAIN MACHIDA PROVES HE’S ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS AND ELUSIVE FIGHTERS IN THE DIVISION, LET’S KICK IT BACK TO CURT AND JAY IN THE STUDIO GRRRRAAAAAAHHHHGGH!!!”)

Newly-retired American hero Brian Stann has already lined up a gig covering college football for FOX Sports South this fall, but he’ll get a little more experience on the mic next month when he fills in for Joe Rogan at UFC 163: Aldo vs. Korean Zombie (August 3rd, Rio De Janeiro). Ariel Helwani first reported the news on last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, adding that a scheduling conflict is preventing Rogan from performing his usual color-commentary duties at the event.

As MMAMania points out, this will be the first time since UFC 134: Silva vs. Okami back in August 2011 that Rogan has been absent from a UFC pay-per-view card. (We can only assume that either Joe Rogan doesn’t like Brazil or Brazil doesn’t like Joe Rogan.) In the past, Kenny Florian has been the go-to guy when the UFC needs a substitute color-man, but it looks like the UFC wants to give this Brian Stann kid a shot and see if he’s got the goods. Will Stann be able to toss in relevant analysis in between Mike Goldberg’s endless plugs for Corn Nuts? And will you be paying to watch this two-fight card in the first place?

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Pre-UFC 162 Video Party [Weigh-Ins, Dana White, Countdown & More]

UFC 162 is now just hours away, you potato heads. So, we’re bringing you a collection of UFC 162-related videos to help you get through the pre-game home stretch.

After the jump you’ll find video of yesterday’s weigh-ins, the full Countdown to UFC 162, Dana White‘s pre UFC 162 media scrum and Joe Rogan holding court and taking questions from fans at the UFC 162 Q&A. Short of video footage of Dave Herman peeing in a cup 63 times in order to get cleared to fight at UFC 162, we’re not sure what else there is out there.

So quit complaining and start pissing off your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife early by making UFC 162 an all-day event. All videos after the jump.

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Does the Pairing of Joe Rogan and Jon Anik for ‘UFC on FOX Sports 1:1′ Signify a Lack of Confidence in Mike Goldberg?


(To be fair, “smelling the opening” is still an incredibly popular phrase on the set of blind pornos.)

We would like to preface this article by stating that we in no way have anything against Mike Goldberg the broadcaster. Sure, he falls back on some cliche phrases every now and again and fumbles through the occasional fighter nickname, but how many of us can claim to be batting a thousand at our respective occupations? Rarely a day goes by where I don’t fumble a fact or treat the English language like an experimental concept, and I usually have the benefit of giving my work a once-over (well, a half-over) before publishing it. In short, Goldberg may not be the best in the business, but the fact that he still seems generally enthused to be at any UFC event after all these years — he first started working with the promotion in 1997 — more than compensates for his sporadic (and often hilarious) cluelessness.

However, the NY Post’s Marc Raimondi broke the news yesterday that the announcing team for the UFC’s Fox Sports 1:1 debut in August would not feature Goldberg at all:

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