(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

This week’s caption contest brought in over 350 entries — and yet none of them were references to Dr. Manhattan. Crazy. After considering all of your brilliant work, we’ve chosen three winners who will score Five Principles t-shirts from Tokyo Five. But first, some honorable mentions:

Desimus: Here you can see Rogan and Vera playing a game of "Guess where bits of my face will end up!"

Smitty: Yes, to the gentleman in the back…..I wear the speedo to show why I talk like a black man.

Ring_Rust619: "Hey honey, this is how many fights I have left till we have to rely on you winning fights to pay the mortgage"

Phil Bologna: "Strikeforce is that way!!!"

therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera and Joe Rogan point to their modesty and objectivity, both of which remained a good distance away.
therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera would rather go naked than wear Tapout.
[Ed. note: Great first effort, glamourpuss. Welcome aboard.]

ArmFarmer: I’m not reading 6 pages of this bullshit. I’m just going to assume that like the first page there is about 2 funny comments per page, the rest are unfunny to the point that they are painful to read, and 80% of them have something to do with an auction or a clock.

And now, your grand-prize winners:

If you watched that video of Bas Rutten beating up an entire cooking show, you may have thought to yourself, "My, I wish I had that handsome white t-shirt with the devil’s face and strange words at the top." (Come on, at least one of you must have thought that.) The shirt in question is known as the "Five Principles", one of the standout designs from Tokyo Five, an apparel company that specializes in jeans as well as custom tees for MMA fighters like Matt Serra and Gabriel Gonzaga. T5 was cool enough to hook us up with a few of those Five Principles shirts, which we’re going to give away to you, our beloved readers. Well, maybe not give away; you’ll have to work for them. Specifically, you’ll have to come up with hilarious captions to the photo after the jump…

(Looks like somebody took a wrong turn on the way to the Cirque du Soleil show. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Don’t ask us to explain it, but whenever fighters and fans get together for a group photo, at least one person has to raise their fist like a tough guy. But instead of dropping the ban-hammer on this bizarre phenomenon, we decided to compile the most ridiculous, hilarious, and straight-up awesome MMA fighter fist-pose photos that we could find. If we left out any of your favorites, please shoot us some links in the comments section…

("Hey, hey, one at a time, I’m not that kind of boy.")

(Seriously, Guy-on-the-Right. What the hell have you been eating?)

(Arianny Celeste self-shot bikini pics: The reason why Twitter was invented. Photo courtesy of twitpic.com/photos/ariannyceleste.)

There was a time when you had to be a well-connected MMA journalist to keep tabs on where fighters were training and who their next opponents would be. Now you can do what we do — stay in bed with your laptop all day and follow them on Twitter. We call that progress. In case you’re not as tweet-obsessed as us, or if you’re simply too old to understand what the social-networking site is — ‘sup, dad — here’s what to do: Start an account, follow twitter.com/cagepotatomma, then start adding the pages below, which represent the 25 most informative and entertaining MMA-related Twitter feeds currently in operation. Your life will change in ways you never expected. And so, in alphabetical order…

twitter.com/allelbows
Bio: "mma shooter"
Known for her artfully crafted action shots and revealing portraiture, Esther Lin might be the greatest MMA photographer working today. Lately she’s been juggling gigs for MMAFighting, Strikeforce and Showtime, and the best of her work can always be found on her website, allelbows.com. Follow Esther’s tweets for photo updates and observations from her life behind the lens.
Sample tweet: "Fighters Are Dirty: the toilet in my hotel photoshoot room has pee all over it! Guys! Lift up the seat or aim better!"

twitter.com/amirmma
Bio: "Winner of The Ultimate Fighter 7"
It turns out that Amir Sadollah‘s awkward brand of ultra-dry humor is perfectly suited to short bursts of 140 characters or less. Like most UFC fighters, he spends a lot of time tweeting about publicity appearances and food. Unlike most UFC fighters, he somehow manages to make it all genuinely entertaining.
Sample tweet: "Yes Macs are expensive. But you can’t get a virus with them so I save money on condoms."

twitter.com/AriannyCeleste
Bio: "im not that cool. lover not a fighter."
Thanks to Twitter, stalking hot chicks has never been easier! UFC ring-girl goddess Arianny Celeste takes the guesswork out of our unhealthy obsession with her by generously sharing details about where she is, who she’s with, and what she’s doing, pretty much at all times. Also: Bikini pics and bikini pics and bikini pics. Why go anywhere else?
Sample tweet: "http://twitpic.com/112o0r – On my way 2 see an agency. Hope they like me, if not I’ll kick them in the groin area n give em stank eye."

Those of you who missed the Spike TV broadcast of the Melvin Guillard-Ronnys Torres fight at UFC 109 didn’t just miss a very close three-round scrap, you also missed a chance to see Joe Rogan flip out over something besides marijuana, locker room meat-gazers, or the craziness of space.  I refer now, of course, to an ice spill in the Octagon. 

It’s no one’s fault, really, except maybe the person who decided to use a cheap grocery store produce bag in Torres’s corner.  The thing comes apart at the most inopportune time, and the result is a group of grown men trying frantically to clean up a large pile of ice while Rogan yells at them and a packed arena boos their efforts.  The difficulty these men (or, as Rogan refers to them, "the goddamn Three Stooges") have in this task just goes to show how much more difficult everything becomes in a high-pressure situation.  Try unlocking your front door while someone yells at you about what an incapable moron you are, or clean up broken eggs on the kitchen floor as your emotionally unstable girlfriend stands nearby and refers to the situation as "a disaster."  Then maybe you’ll understand.    

(Props: letsfindjesus via Fightlinker)

As much as it seems that Joe Rogan has the world’s most kickass life, there are drawbacks to the kind of fame that comes from UFC color-commentary, stand-up comedy tours, and unconventional game shows. For instance, you sometimes have to deal with your genitals being stared at by sweaty, overweight teenagers, who are so brazen about their locker-room lust that even the presence of a video-camera doesn’t scare them away. Though let’s be honest, if Joe wasn’t a member of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu, that creepy kid would probably be staring at some other guy’s dork, famous or not. But there is a ray of hope: According to a mole we have planted in the gym, Fatty Hogwatcher was recently banished from 10th Planet due to his meat-gazing and many other bizarre offenses. So rest easy, Mr. Rogan — unless this kid decides to move his stalking directly to your house, in which case you’re in for a world of hurt.

After the jump: Genghis Con’s look back at the rivalry between Shinya Aoki and Mizuto Hirota, which ended with Hirota suffering a broken arm and a middle finger in his face. Plus, GSP and Nate Marquardt throw down in the wrestling room at the University of Northern Colorado.

(Props: TheFightNerd)

If you’ve ever wondered why Fedor Emelianenko throws his punches a little differently than the average dude, the above video should clear up some of the mystery. Combat Sambo’s "casting" punch is intended for easy transition into grappling, as well as flexibility in terms of range and impact area; as the host demonstrates, the Sambo puncher can make contact with anything from his wrist to the back of his hand. Hope you’re taking notes, Brett…

(Lesnar-Mir provides a chilling preview of Lesnar-Sable later on that same night. Photo courtesy of USA Today.)

It’s time to see who’s up and who’s down after an epic weekend, and the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to help.  It’s like the stock market, only dumber.

Brock Lesnar (the fighter) +117
Sure, it was all brute force and not a lot of flashy technique.  And yes, he resembled a schoolyard bully more than a martial artist.  But the fact is Lesnar got the job done, and in convincing fashion.  Now the question is, could he beat someone his own size?

Brock Lesnar (the person) -56
We honestly didn’t think it was possible for Lesnar to hurt his own image so much even in victory.  But disrespecting everyone you can think of, from your opponent to a UFC sponsor, and then ending by suggesting that you might “get on top of” your wife (that really sounds like a satisfying sexual experience for her, BTW) is a good way to go about it.  Press conference apology was a good idea, but way too half-assed to make a dent.

(Props: Cafepress.com/Buffer360 via bismanfightclub.)

Planning on attending UFC 100? If so, we hope you’ve been practicing your Fedor chant. And if you haven’t yet planned your outfit, may we suggest this fetching Obama-inspired Bruce Buffer tee? Rumors of a possible "Buffer 360" at UFC 100 have spread like wildfire over the last few months; if we can hope hard enough and believe boldly enough, then maybe, just maybe, he’ll pull it off. Joe Rogan has claimed that if Buffer lands the full rotation during the event, he’ll shit his pants. What will you do?

(Buy the shirt here. And follow Mr. Buffer on Twitter here.)

(Did he have ‘crazy eye’ surgery, too?)

Joe Rogan posted photos on Twitter to show how he’s recovering from surgery to fix a deviated septum, and we haven’t been this terrified since we saw "Leprechaun 2: Back to Tha Hood."  Usually when someone with a career in broadcasting or television who lives in L.A. has surgery for a deviated septum, it’s code for nose job.  Kind of like how being hospitalized for "exhaustion" means you crashed at the end of a coke bender.  But in Rogan’s case we’re inclined to believe that he really did go in to fix years of broken noses, and not because his agent told him all that was standing between him and a recurring role on "Gossip Girl" was that monster schnoz. 

Of course we have to ask, is it really a great idea to have nose surgery a little over a week out from UFC 100, which is probably going to involve some TV time for old Joe?  Maybe it’s just a ploy to distract people from Mike Goldberg’s unnaturally white teeth.  That dude’s beauty regimen is just a little too intense.

(Track 15 on Shiny Happy Jihad.)

The one-hour stand-up comedy special that UFC color-man Joe Rogan filmed in Columbus before UFC 96 has finally gotten an airdate: June 20th at midnight ET/PT, directly following the broadcast of The Ultimate Fighter: U.S. vs. U.K. finale. As Rogan confirmed during an appearance on The Greg Fitzsimmons Show yesterday, his will be the first of several comedy specials that Spike will air this year, and the late-night time slot allows it to be aired uncensored. ("I couldn’t believe it. They don’t have to cut anything.")

Sounds like a kickass night of free entertainment. To refresh your memories, the TUF 9 finale card be lookin’ like this:

MAIN CARD
Diego Sanchez vs. Clay Guida
Welterweight TUF finalist vs. welterweight TUF finalist (TBA)
Lightweight TUF finalist vs. lightweight TUF finalist (TBA)
Nate Diaz vs. Joe Stevenson
Anthony Johnson vs. Matt Brown

UNDERCARD
Tomasz Drwal vs. Eric Schafer
Chris Lytle vs. Kevin Burns
Melvin Guillard vs.Thiago Tavares
Brad Blackburn vs. Edgar Garcia
Other matches between TUF 9 castmembers (TBA)

Technorati Profile

Brock Lesnar talks with "Inside MMA’s" Ron Kruck about Frank Mir and that silly "make believe" belt that Mir took off of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira.  Isn’t it adorable the way Frank thinks that hunk of metal and leather is real?  Just precious.

Joe Rogan swigs Diet Coke and waxes philosophical about the Chuck Liddell of old and the old Chuck Liddell of the present ("the guy’s thirty-nine years old, cut him some slack").  Honestly, it’s a pretty candid assessment of where Liddell and Shogun Rua are at this point in their respective careers, if perhaps a little too apologetic on Shogun’s behalf.  Rogan didn’t seem as willing to make excuses for Rua’s poor conditioning back when he was burying him from the broadcast table at UFC 93.

After the jump, something extremely disturbing, and at the same time boring.

(Here’s what happened the last time Joe did a show in Columbus. Just think — you could be that drunk, Affliction-clad asshole.)

As first reported right here, UFC commentator/funnydude Joe Rogan is filming his next comedy special in March, to be broadcast on Spike TV. UFC.com has just posted this notice announcing the details:

In the event that you won’t be near Columbus on 3/5, at least take the above suggestion and start following Joe’s blog, where’s he’s been writing enormous and insightful posts about primate evolution, pursuing your passions amid uncertainty, and why Kellogg’s should lighten up about the Michael Phelps weed situation. Here, why don’t I just give you an excerpt from that last one:

As first reported on CagePotato.com, UFC commentator supreme Joe Rogan has been in the planning stages of an hour-long standup comedy special for Spike TV. According to his Twitter feed — which we can follow now that we have our own (hint, hint, join it dumbasses) —the special will be taped next month. Knock ‘em dead, Joe! Speak truth to power!

The most interesting part of this UFC 94 video blog comes at around the 9:50 mark, when Dana White becomes clearly upset over the Georges St. Pierre greasing incident and remarks, “Georges is in trouble.”  Well, maybe not Georges so much as the cornerman who rubbed him down, though I’m inclined to believe Greg Jackson’s explanation, and also inclined to agree with Dana’s assertion that a little Vaseline did not change the outcome of this fight, one way or another.  Still doesn’t make it a good idea, though.

Other moments worth seeing here: Dana consoles a distraught Stephan Bonnar, Joe Rogan and Eddie Bravo gush over Jon Jones, and Dana watches Akihiro Gono and his camp rehearse their elaborate Octagon entrance, which was truly a thing to behold.  When Gono and his boys walked out in those matching evening gowns, pausing every few steps to get their dance on, you could feel the crowd going through a range of emotions.  First came shock, then slight amusement, then genuine appreciation.  Honestly, it was the best entrance in the history of MMA.

In the post-fight press conference a reporter asked Dana what he thought of a guy who came out in drag and got his ass kicked.  Dana pointed out that a) a lot of people are going to get their ass kicked against Jon Fitch, and b) he loves Gono and what he brings to a UFC event.  Then he conceded: “But if you’re going to wear a dress you probably better win.”

I know some people will make the argument that Gono would have been better served focusing more time and energy on his preparation for the fight than on his entrance, but let’s be real.  Gono was going to get beat up with or without the awesome, cross-dressing entrance.  Might as well have some fun before the pain begins.

(Photo courtesy of Zimbio.com.)

We called up Joe Rogan earlier this week hoping to shoot the bull about tomorrow’s UFC card. Instead, we got a full education about humanity’s impending peak point, the thievery of war, Ashton Kutcher, and psychedelic Internet dance-porn. But that’s how it goes with Joe, whether you’re listening to his stand-up comedy CDs or watching him explain things to Mike Goldberg during UFC broadcasts — not only are you entertained, but you actually feel smarter afterwards. Of course, he did run down the GSP/Penn matchup for us, as well as share stories about his early days with the UFC and fill us in on his upcoming comedy special. So read on and be enlightened…

***

CAGEPOTATO.COM: I saw on your website that you did some standup gigs in Austin, Texas last weekend. How would you compare the Austin crowd to the Dublin crowd you played to the week before?
JOE ROGAN: They’re both great in different ways. Ireland is a lot like England — they really appreciate American standup comedy over there. I don’t know what it is about American comedy and the U.K., but it seems to work. I’ve even met a few American expatriates who live over there and do standup. But Dublin was great, and the fans in Austin are always awesome — it’s one of my favorite places ever.

Out of curiosity, is it possible to score good weed in Ireland?
Not good weed. No. You can get passable weed. Unfortunately for the Irish, marijuana is just as illegal as heroin or cocaine or anything else. I believe the way they prosecute it is by how much the drug is worth, rather than how dangerous or harmful to society it is.

I just got your last comedy CD Shiny Happy Jihad, and in the liner notes it says “All together in 2012.” What’s going to happen in 2012?
That’s like the million dollar question, right there. Who knows what’s going to happen. I’m not a scientist, or an archeologist, or a futurist, so for me it’s more fun than anything. But the idea behind it, according to people who take it very seriously, whether they’re the people who decipher the Mayan calendar, or the Terrence McKennas of the world — there’s a guy named Terrence McKenna who actually created a mathematical algorithm that predicted what he called “waves of novelty,” meaning human innovation throughout time and history, and he believed that what we do as human beings, as far as creating new things like the wheel or matches or the Internet, that what we’re doing is part of a mathematical program. Meaning that we are doing something that you can actually track with mathematics. And his algorithm showed that human innovation is pre-destined. It’s just what we do, like bees make beehives, ants make anthills — human beings make technology. We change our environment, we alter things. And that eventually we were going to reach a peak point, or a point of what they call “ultimate novelty,” and that this is going to be a moment where something is invented, something happens, that changes the world as we know it.

(Dave Kaplan cleans up on "The Singing Bee’s" Girl Power Night.  No joke.  The money line: "You’re making me nervous, Fatone!" Thanks to reader bpd for this.)

- Inside MMA previews Arlovski/Fedor. (MMA Scraps)

- Wagnney Fabiano in no hurry to get WEC belt. (Tatame)

- Phil Baroni wants back in the UFC.  Good luck, bro. (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Joe Rogan’s "Fight For The Troops" rant is pretty right on. (Fightlinker)

- Satoshi Ishii celebrates his birthday. (Suki MMA)

- Hong Man Choi not worried about midget Cro Cop. (Fighters Only)

- Dodgeball, Xtreme Couture style. (Xtreme Couture)

- If alcohol labels were more realistic. (Holy Taco)

- Goodbye Sparks, you will be missed. (Wall Street Fighter)

- The weirdest Jeff Goldblum moments are really weird. (Screen Junkies)

- Cop hits deer at 75 mph, and it goes flying. (Nothing Toxic)

(And that jackass guidance counselor said they’d never amount to anything.)

UFC color man Joe Rogan and rubber guard impressario Eddie Bravo are in High Times (props to The Marvelous One on the UG for the find), apparently just sitting around and thinking about what an awesome invention nachos are.  If this picture makes you uncomfortable, definitely don’t click "Read More." 

If, on the other hand, you’d love to see what pure, unadulterated joy looks like, and you’d also like to be kind of creeped out at the same time, then have at it.

(You ready for this? Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

We are live at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas for an extra-special, on-the-scene liveblog of UFC 91. What does that mean for your life? It means preliminary results, witty observations about crowd members, and constant updates as to what Arianny Celeste is up to throughout the night. At the same time, I don’t want to miss out on all your hilarious quips about the live broadcast, including but not limited to the banter between Joe Rogan and the century man, Mike Goldberg, so please fill me in with your comments.

Liveblog begins after the jump. Hit refresh often. If you don’t want the prelims spoiled for you…too bad. Just suck it up and deal.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Joe Rogan and Dana White mark out hard about Brock Lesnar’s athleticism and Randy Couture’s unquantifiable champion essence in this in-depth look at UFC 91′s marquee matchup. One of the talking points is that Lesnar’s strength and wrestling ability will negate Couture’s natural advantages — though that could easily work the other way. As of now, Couture is a very slight betting underdog against Lesnar. Betting against him, historically speaking, is not a great idea.

Below: Tracy Morgan actually name-checked Kimbo Slice on Late Night With Conan O’Brien last night. Conan had no idea who he was referring to, and Morgan explained that they’re actually related. Who knew? After the jump: “The Passion.”

(Props: BloodyElbow)

From MMAFightGirls

Joe Rogan has a new tattoo (well a few months old) which took over 5 sessions to complete, but it’s pretty amazing. Aaron Della Vedova from Guru Tattoo is the artist who did all of this amazing work. Apparently the sleeve tattoo depicts Joe’s DMT (Spirit Molecule) trip where he hallucinated and saw an Alien Thai Buddha made out of energy telling him not to give into astonishment. If you look at the molecule in the center of the tattoo it’s the DMT, Dimethyltryptamine, molecule.

Don’t do it, Joe! DO NOT GIVE IN TO ASTONISHMENT!!!

I can’t imagine a bigger hippie move than tattooing your own psychedelic vision on your arm. He’s going to run out of body space if he keeps taking up real estate like this. What if he has another, even crazier trip the next time he goes DMT’ing, and one of those machine elves is like “I would love it if you tattooed our little adventure on your left arm, that would really make me happy.” Because he’s basically screwed at that point.

In other Roganews…

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Ah, beautiful Omaha, Nebraska. Where any mention of the Cornhuskers is enough to work a crowd into a frenzy. I just returned from the Ultimate Fight Night 15 weigh-in, which was fairly uneventful except for the odd fact that every single fighter weighed in precisely on the mark. Every middleweight hit 185 on the button. Every lightweight, 155 exactly. You get the picture. It was eerie. Makes you wonder if the athletic commission here isn’t just phoning it in. One guy who seemed a bit nervous about the whole thing was Clay Guida, who stepped on the scale as if he were trying to sneak up on it. Maybe his brother’s troubles have him worried.

But the most interesting thing to happen at the weigh-in had nothing to do with the fighters on Wednesday night’s card. Before things got underway, Matt Hughes answered questions from the fans who arrived early. He talked at length about how good Robbie Lawler is, how he wouldn’t advise Lawler to fight Anderson Silva, but would like to see him face Georges St. Pierre, whose stand-up game is not as good as Lawler’s, according to Hughes.

“I know I want to see that fight,” he said. “I wouldn’t even want to corner Robbie. I’d just want to sit on the side and watch.”

But then, when the Q&A session was over, Hughes asked for a couple extra minutes on the mic. He said that he often gets asked about his most memorable story in the fight game, and then proceeded to share, unprompted, a tale from his “pre-Christian” days.

It seems Hughes was down in New Orleans and on Bourbon Street with Pat Miletich and some of the boys after a fight. He and Miletich got into a drinking contest, chugging beers out on the street with both fists. They had just finished slamming a couple and were walking down the street when Miletich stopped and bent over to puke in the street. Then he walked a couple steps, puked some more, then kept going, stopped, and puked some more. At some point, Miletich looked over at Hughes and pointed to the gaping space where his false teeth should be. Pat Miletich, MMA great, had just realized that he puked out his false teeth.

So what did he do? He walked back and sifted through each pile of vomit until he found them. And when he found them? He poured beer on them, put them back in his mouth, and kept going.

If you still care about the official weigh-in results after that, they’re after the jump:

(‘I came to chew bubblegum and represent the 209. I am all out of bubblegum.’)

No one can see the future, but as long as we’re going to speculate as to how things will turn out in Omaha on Wednesday (and let’s face it, we are), we might as well go all the way with predictions so specific they can’t possible come true….or can they?

Nate Diaz vs. Josh Neer

Despite his impressive performances since coming off “The Ultimate Fighter,” the UFC doesn’t seem interested in moving Diaz up in competition. Instead they move him laterally, pitting him against the journeyman Neer, who Nate’s big bro already beat. It’ll be no easy task for Diaz to top his double-birdie performance against Kurt Pellegrino, but he’s a showman. Diaz will get bullied around the Octagon by Neer early on, but at some point he’ll remember he’s the better submissions fighter. The thought will dawn on him all at once and he’ll jump on Neer’s back, lock in a standing rear-naked choke, and extend his middle fingers on either side of Neer’s head as he submits.

When will it happen: 3:17, round two.

What to watch for: the look on Joe Rogan’s face when he has to interview Diaz after the bout and ask him to talk us through the Bud Light replay. What isn’t bleeped out will be completely unintelligible.

Mac Danzig vs. Clay Guida

This is the kind of fight worth getting excited about. The stoic, cerebral Danzig takes on Enkidu, the wild man of the woods (officially known as Clay Guida). It’s the classic highly-technical vegan vs. tough-but-crazy caveman battle. Danzig will start overly cautious and be initially overwhelmed as Guida wades into him with reckless abandon. But as the fight wears on Danzig will start to figure things out, striking and circling and wearing Guida out with knees to the body. Then Guida will freak out, charging right into a triangle choke, and his face will be blocked by his hair as it changes colors before he finally consents to tap.

When will it happen: 2:03, round three.

What to watch for: Guida’s brother, who failed to make weight for his first “Ultimate Fighter” bout and was reportedly kicked off the show for it, will appear on camera at some point looking sad and not eating.

(Update: the embed code turns out to be an empty promise, but here’s the link to the reunion show clip.)

This Saturday, September 13 Spike TV is airing a TUF 1 marathon and special reunion show. As you can see from the clip, some of those old rivalries haven’t been forgotten. Give Joe Rogan some credit, he doesn’t shy away from asking Bobby Southworth whether he felt bad about the whole ‘fatherless bastard’ remark. We don’t get to see his answer in this clip, but let’s hope it’s yes.

Check out Dana White’s closing video blog entry for UFC 88 after the jump. They’ve apparently decided to go with quantity over quality, as this is the longest one yet. For some real fun, skip to the 9:00 mark to see Chuck Liddell‘s pre-fight preparations, which tells you a lot about what kind of fight he was expecting. Afterwards Dana has to corral Rashad Evans‘ wife while simultaneously stopping Chuck Liddell and John Hackleman from jetting out of the Octagon. That’s a hard-working man, right there.

(‘What if we got, like, a studio apartment together somewhere. We’d have so much fun! No? Nah, you’re right. I was just goofing.’ Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Atlanta, Georgia, are you ready to have your world rocked? Are you ready to have Mike Goldberg refer to you as ‘Hot-lanta’ at least three times, while Joe Rogan seizes any and every opportunity to point out the rubber guard? Well, you better be, because that’s what’s happening. I can hardly freaking wait.

We’ll be documenting all the zany action and half-cocked commentary as the night unfolds, cracking wise and making fairly obvious but mildly humorous observations all night long, so buckle in and get your commenting hat on. We’re dying to hear all your LOL’s and OMG’s. Maybe even the occasional WTF, although don’t get carried away. We’ve got a long night ahead of us. Hit refresh every so often, or get left behind.

(Amir Sadollah could be part of Couture/Lesnar’s supporting cast.)

— UFC lightweight Gleison Tibau has been forced to pull out of his UFC 90 match against Hermes Franca due to a shoulder injury; replacing him will be Franca’s longtime friend Marcus Aurelio. Franca and Aurelio trained together at American Top Team before Franca left the camp, which led to a feud between Franca and ATT.

— During an appearance at Combat Sports Challenge 26 in Colonial Heights, Virginia, TUF 7 winner Amir Sadollah revealed that he expects his next fight to be at UFC 91 in November. His opponent should be announced in the near future.

— UFC 91 will also reportedly feature a heavyweight bout between Gabriel Gonzaga and UFC newcomer Josh Hendricks. Gonzaga is coming off a first-round submission win over Justin McCully at UFC 86 in July, which snapped a two-fight losing streak. Hendricks is a vet of various regional promotions who’s 9-0 with one no-contest in his last ten fights.

— Michael Bisping thinks that Quinton Jackson’s next fight will be in December, against either Wanderlei Silva or Mauricio Rua: “[E]ither way, revenge is the dish that’ll be served up on the night! I’m sure whoever he gets in December, everyone at the Wolfslair will be behind him 100 per cent and fingers crossed he’ll get his revenge.”

— The UFC recently reunited eight castmembers from The Ultimate Fighter‘s first season to film an upcoming TV special. MMA Junkie provides some advance highlights, like when Joe Rogan asked the cast how much better they did with the women after being part of the show:

“If you’re in a relationship you want out of, now is the time to speak up,” Stephan Bonnar shouted, laughing.

When no one was willing to talk, Rogan called them “a bunch of (expletives).”

Forrest Griffin, now the UFC’s light heavyweight champion, broke the tension by shouting, “Hey, I don’t know about you guys, but I was doing pretty good with the women before.”

Matt Hamill will be welcoming Rich Franklin back to the light heavyweight division at UFC 88 on September 6th, and he expects some fearsome striking from the former middleweight champ. But he trusts in his always-improving game, and knows he needs to face the best opponents available to earn his respect. Props to ESPN via FiveOuncesofPain.

Joe Rogan gives us a glimpse of the average UFC fight weekend for him, which generally includes a standup comedy performance on Friday night. A clip from his gig at the Fine Line Music Cafe in Minneapolis starts at the 2:23 mark of this video, in which Joe does a solid Jim Brown impression and discusses his infamous “rape choke” commentary blunder at UFC Fight Night 13. Props to MMA Mania.

All fighters made weight yesterday for the “Ultimate Fighter” Finale on Saturday night. If you thought weigh-ins were just a boring photo-op where guys stand around on a scale in their underwear, then you obviously haven’t seen a weigh-in hosted by Joe Rogan. In the above video you can hear Rogan cranking up the enthusiasm by screaming every word he says, despite the fact that he is already holding a microphone.

For a look at the really awkward staredown between Evan Tanner and Kendall Grove, skip to the end. And no, by awkward I don’t just mean that Tanner has a huge beard during it, though he does.

CB Dollaway and Amir Sadollah talk about tonight’s fight and their road to the finals after the jump.

Well, it’s Tuesday, which means you’ve probably been biting your nails all day wondering when Dana White is going to drop his huge, mind-blowing announcement that may or may not define the future of the sport. Dave Meltzer, who broke some news earlier about EliteXC’s next CBS show — which has the working title of “Unfinished Business,” by the way — now has this to say via f4wonline.com:

Dana White has moved the meeting for UFC employees to Noon tomorrow (Wednesday) for the big announcement. So word should break shortly after that time.

MMA Mania points out that the New York Tourism, Arts and Sports Development Committee is slated to vote again tomorrow on legislation to legalize MMA in NY. That could just be a coincidence — White previously denied that his announcement was related to New York MMA regulation — but we’ll update you when we know more.

And hey, just so this post isn’t a total waste of your time, here’s a rather-awesome UFC 86 hype video, running down the matchups between Forrest Griffin and Quinton Jackson, as well as Cote vs. Almeida. By the way, if you tell Rampage he’s not going to win this fight, you can kiss his natural black ass.

UFC 86: Jackson vs. Griffin Preview

Just…wow. Did anybody else involuntarily dry-heave at the 0:45-0:48 mark?

(For the pimpin’ original, click here.)