(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

Every great sport has been built on the backs of men who absolutely sucked at it — athletes whose hapless failures made the champions’ triumphs look even more outstanding by comparison. Baseball has its Mario Mendozas, its Bob Kammeyers, its Pete Rose Jrs. We have our Joe Sons, our Tiki Ghosns, our James Toneys. So in honor of the brave competitors who proved that MMA is even harder than it looks, we humbly present this “tribute” to the worst UFC fighters of all time.

A couple of notes to start: 1) We chose fighters solely based on their performances inside the Octagon. Some of these fighters achieved great things in other organizations, before or after their time in the UFC; for the purposes of this feature, we’re not really interested in that. 2) Instead of ranking one form of suckitude against another, we’ll group the 50 fighters into sections and arrange them chronologically. Use the links below to navigate, and if we omitted anybody notable, please let us know in the comments section.

- Ben Goldstein

Page 1: The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines
Page 2: The One-and-Done Wonders
Page 3: The Repeat Offenders
Page 4: The Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time TUF Guys
Page 5: The Barely-Worth-Mentioning Washouts

Most ‘crimes’ in MMA take the form of inept judging and flagrant rule breaking, but this past year many professional fighters were caught up in activities that landed them inside of a very different sort of cage. Get ready for a trip down memory lane in our most depressing “booking roundup” of the year. Here’s your run down of 2011’s biggest arrests, convictions, acquittals, and sentencings.

With the recent allegations aimed at former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, the sports world has been thrown into a bit of chaos in the past few weeks. The story, which has undoubtedly tarnished the legacy of not only the college itself but also its legendary football coach Joe Paterno, is one of the most shocking and disturbing events to surface in the history of competitive sports.

Amidst the scandal coach Paterno had announced that he planned to retire at the end of the season, but it turns out Penn State had other, more immediate plans in mind. And though Sandusky’s fate has yet to be determined, we can only hope that it involves Pinhead levels of torture. Unfortunately the sad fact is, it often takes a wrongdoing such as Sandusky’s in order to open our collective eyes to the world around us and take action to try and ensure that it never happens again. It is with this in mind that we bring you ten of the biggest skeletons in MMA’s closet.

Whether or not we’ll actually try to do anything but mock them is yet to be determined.

Check out ten of the dirty little not-so-secrets of MMA’s past after the jump.

(Tijuana had no answers for Brett’s muay thai game.)

You would think that a guy who is proclaiming his innocence in a spousal abuse case (in spite of the fact that everyone knows his wife is simply too terrified to testify against him) would be doing everything necessary to clear his name. Instead, former Strikeforce heavyweight contender Brett Rogers has yet again breached terms of his pre-sentencing release in his domestic assault case and was arrested this morning at his Apple Valley, MN home and is locked up in Hastings County jail. He was slated to make a first appearance to speak to the charges today, but it’s unlikely that this time around he’ll be able to peg fault on the court.

The news of Rogers’ arrest was first reported by the Apple Valley Patch.

This is the second legit warrant that has been issued for him since the incident in June that culminated with Rogers being charged with felonious third-degree assault, domestic assault by strangulation, uttering terroristic threats and having a pattern of stalking as well as one gross misdemeanor count of endangerment of a child. According to statements made by witnesses and Rogers’ daughters, “The Grim” beat and choked his wife Tijuana unconscious, leaving her face bruised and battered and minus a tooth. She originally tried to deny that her husband had assaulted her, but later admitted what had happened, however she refused to testify against him as she was afraid that a finding of “guilty,” would cause him problems in his MMA career. It didn’t matter though, since Strikeforce dropped him like a bad habit when news of the assault first broke.

CagePotatos Cage Cameo Contest – Watch MoreFunny Videos

We had several entries in what was likely our toughest contest to date. As always, you guys showed that you’re passionate fans of our site and the sport — either that or you just like free stuff.

Anyway,  before we get into announcing who the winner is, here are the official correct answers:

1. Don Frye in “Big Stan” (2007)

2. Acclaimed coach Shawn Tompkins (hitting the bag), Frank “Johnny Cage” Colcher and Trevor “Hollywood” Harris (both sparring in ring) in “Sons of Anarchy” (2010)

3. UFC 1 tooth loser Teila Tuli AKA Taylor Wily in “Forgetting “Sarah Marshall” (2008)

4. Maurice Smith (the fatherless bastard) in “Miami Connection” (1987)

5. Cage Potato reporter molester Quinton “Rampage” Jackson in “The Midnight Meat Train” (2008)

6. UFC founder Rorian Gracie (Mexican restaurant maitre d’) in “Hart to Hart” 1983

7. Cunning linguist Tito Ortiz in “The Crow: Wicked Prayer” (2005)

8. Rapist and murderer Joe Son (fighting Bolo Yeung) and Mike Bernardo (cornerman shouting encouragement to Yeung) in Shootfighter 2 (1996)

9. MMA legend and all around good guy (unless you accost his wife in a bar) Bas Rutten  in Zookeeper (2011)

10. MMA trainer extraordinaire Steven Seagal, Randy Couture (answers door and gets KO’d by Seagal) and Karo Parisyan (thug number two that Seagal KOs) in “Today You Die” (2005)

11. UFC Hall-of-Famer Ken Shamrock in “That 70′s Show” (1999)

12. Raving lunatic Harold Howard (wild-eyed murderous gladiator) in “Gladiator Cop” (1995)

13. Rickson Gracie in “The Incredible Hulk” (2008)

14.Stephen Quadros (dude with the animated facial expressions) in “Demon Wind” (1990)

15. Patrick Smith’s first UFC 2 victim Ray Wizard (gang leader) in “The Master” AKA “Long Xing Tian Xia” (1992)

16. Joe Rogan in “Zookeeper” (2011

17. Chuck Liddell (Boy Scout catching orange) in “The Postman Always Rings Twice” (1981)

(CagePotato.com was able to obtain Graham’s August 2011 Wasco booking photo. Inset is Son’s Wasco identification photo.)

The Kern County Sheriff’s Office Coroner today released the name of the deceased and the details surrounding the death of Joe Son’s cellmate in Wasco State Prison this week.

The coroner has ruled the death Monday of 50-year-old Michael Thomas Graham, AKA Mike Thomas, AKA Dana Young, AKA Dallas Barger, AKA Michael Hernandez, AKA Michael Lewis, AKA Alanis Quinn, AKA Marc Davidson was a homicide.  Autopsy results determined that the San Luis Obispo resident, who was in his third month of a two-year sentence for failure to register as a sex offender after serving an undetermined amount of time previously for “attempted lewd or lascivious acts with a child under 14 years of age,” was beaten to death.

By Mike Russell

(It looks like we may be able to add “murderer” to Joe Son’s resume below “kidnapper” and above “rapist.”)

A poster on mixedmartialarts.com’s Underground Forum revealed today that former UFC fighter and incarcerated kidnapper and rapist Joseph Hyungmin Son may have been involved in the murder of his cellmate in the California prison he currently is housed in and it appears that the story has some truth to it.

Here’s what the poster, SoCal PriznGard posted today:

“I am the first to break this news! Ex UFC fighter, Joe Son has murdered his cellmate. While serving a life sentence for gang rape, Joe Son has been attacked several times by other inmates who do not tolerate rapists in prison. It has not yet been determined why he killed his cellmate or how.

No troll. Fact: celly found dead. Joe and dead guy only ones in cell together. Guard doing count, sees celly is unresponsive, medical arrives. CPR performed. Celly has trauma to chest area. Pronounced dead. Innocent until proven guilty but looks like he did it. These are the only facts that I have right now. Investigation still in progress since it just happened on Monday around 5:00 pm.”

CagePotato.com spoke with a representative from the prison’s litigation department, after being passed on by Wasco’s public information officer this morning, and when asked whether or not Son was involved in said incident, we were told that a press release on the situation is forthcoming, likely later today — meaning that there is at least some truth to the rumor.

(That asshole better get used to wearing outfits like this in jail.)

By the time Joe Son fought at UFC 4 and subsequently had his balls minced by Keith Hackney, he figured he had gotten away with a vicious armed kidnapping and rape he committed with a buddy four years prior. Three years later he was cast as Random Task in the Mike Myers hit Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and probably thought his crime would never be solved. Eleven years later, the cold case thawed when the Korean-born sub-par fighter, actor and human being was arrested for an unrelated parole violation and a DNA submission was linked to the Christmas eve 1990 assault on a then-19-year-old woman whose life would never be the same after Son and his co-accused plucked her from the street in Orange County and drove around for a few hours taking time raping and sodomizing her while terrorizing and penetrating her with a handgun.

The pair made their victim believe that she was going to die, no matter if she cooperated with their demands or not before releasing her with the caveat that her life was “her Christmas present from them.” How thoughtful.

Well, that fat bastard won’t get to breathe the air of a free man for at least 16 years, but it’s more likely that he’ll spend more behind bars, especially if prosecutors and his victim have any say in the matter, and they will. He was sentenced to life in prison this afternoon with the possibility of parole.

(Why so glum, Joey? Prison is a magical place, just *full* of gang-rape.)

Justice has finally defeated UFC veteran/actor/rapist Joe Son. The thong-clad scumbag‘s gang-rape trial came to an end yesterday, with Son eating a felony conviction that could put him in prison for the rest of his pathetic-ass life. SFGate has the details:

Joseph Hyungmin Son was found guilty of one felony count of torture Thursday. A statute of limitations had expired on other counts. Prosecutors say Son and an accomplice pulled the victim into a car on Christmas Eve in 1990 and drove her toward Huntington Beach as they beat her with a gun and raped her. The investigation had gone cold until Son was required to provide a DNA sample in 2008 in connection with a vandalism sentence. He faces a maximum sentence of 15 years to life in state prison.

Four years after the rape, Son debuted in the UFC as a Bible-thumping nutpunch-magnet. Any guesses on how long he’ll last in prison?

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMAHeat)

- Big Nog says he won’t train with gay training partners to “avoid evil” (UOLEsportes)

- Burger King retires ‘King’ mascot (HolyTaco)

- Machida doesn’t regret asking UFC for Anderson Silva money to fight Evans (Esportes.Terra)

- Video: how to win a bar fight (MadeMan)

- 9 videos of reporters losing their shit (ScreenJunkies)

- Joe Rogan Out, Kenny Florian in at UFC 134 (Bleacher Report)

- Dayana Mendoza: a kidnap victim with a lot of heart (TuVez)

- Video: Just your average chick fight at an Orlando pita joint (Guyism)

- Maybe Jim Miller wasn’t top three after all. (SportsIllustrated)

- Tim Hardaway is Growing up (WithLeather)

- Tom ‘Kong’ Watson: “I stand by my training partner Nate Marquardt” (FightOpinion)

- Michael Vick creates some trouble for Roger Goodell (ScoresReport)

- More grisly details from Joe Son’s rape trial (OCRegister)

- West Memphis 3 released from prison in exchange for pleading guilty (DenverPost)

- Snowboard-mounted paintball guns are a reality (Clutch.MTV)

- Interview with ‘Conan the Barbarian’ Jason Mamoa (TheRugged)

(But they both look like such gentlemen.)

This isn’t a good week to be a former UFC fighter charged with rape.

By Friday the trials of Joe Son and Mike Whitehead will both be underway.

(Props: nymeria83)

Despite his woeful lack of judgement last week at UFC 133, Dennis Hallman can only claim to have the second most embarrassing ring attire in MMA history. The #1 spot still belongs to actor-rapist Joe Son and his ass-exposing leopard-print thong.

Nearly seven years after his sole Octagon appearance at UFC 4, in which he had his nuts destroyed by Keith Hackney, Son re-emerged for a trio of fights in 2002, all of which he lost in the first round via injury or terror. His Japanese MMA debut against Yusuke Imamura at Pride The Best Vol. 1 was especially infamous. Joe came out to the ring wearing a bowler-hat (in honor of his role as “Random Task” in Austin Powers), white eye-shadow, and the aforementioned ass-floss.

You can see clips of the debacle in the above highlight-reel. Skip to the 2:14-2:28 mark to witness the PRIDE rope-crew earn their paychecks in the most humiliating way possible. As with his two subsequent fights, Son tapped before his opponent could inflict any apparent damage. But by that point, he had violated every set of eyeballs in the audience. Joe Son, you are truly MMA’s Worst Person Ever.

(Not actually a) Guest post by GalsGuidetoMMA.com

JEREMY JACKSON

Beth’s View

Doability – I’ve never gone for the “Would have probably been a Nazi if he grew up in 1930s Germany” look, but there’s something about Jeremy that gets my tangas in a twist. I know, I know, the barbed wire bicep tat should be a deal-breaker. Still, those piercing blue eyes. The look on his face that says, “I would throw away every good opportunity, and even my freedom, just for a chance to ravage your body.” Wow. Feel my goosebumps.
Perceived Skills – BB gun shooting, jealous rages
Pet Name – Aryan Da’Hendersons
Imagined Dream Date – I have this fantasy where I’m a lifeguard at a local pool in Nevada. Jeremy comes in with his pack of bros. We lock eyes. He does a few long, slow laps. The butterfly stroke — my favorite. We exchange numbers during adult swim. He doesn’t call. Instead, he just shows up at my bedroom window that night. He’s shirtless and out of breath. I let him in the front door, and he collapses into my arms. He’s vulnerable, like a child, in the body of a man. “It’s okay, honey,” I say. “You’re home now.”
Long Term Relationship Potential – High, but I know it would end badly. It always does with the passionate ones.
Panty Dropper Rating – 4 – Worth the Wax.

(Why go to trial? Refuting DNA evidence is like fighting GSP. You aren’t going to win unless you’re a short loudmouth from New York… Serra? No, we meant “My Cousin Vinny.”)

Accused rapist Joseph Hyungmin Son, perhaps better known to MMA fans as Joe Son, will finally get his day in court according to the Orange County District Attorney’s office. After being imprisoned for two-and-a-half years while awaiting trial on charges that he and an unnamed accomplice kidnapped and raped an unnamed female victim in 1990, the onetime UFC fighter who played Random Task in the movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, will see his case brought before the courts on March 24. The facts of the case will be presented by Orange County Deputy District Attorney Eric Scarborough of the Sexual Assault Unit and will be contested by a jury of Son’s peers.

If you’re unfamiliar with the case, be forewarned that the details of the crime after the jump are unsettling.

(Son may use Keith Hackney’s nut shots at UFC 4 to as a defense to explain his overactive libido.)

I’ve been following UFC fighter-turned type-casted actor Joe Son’s rape case for a while and had regular correspondence with the Huntington Beach Police Department over the past few months about the upcoming trial, but around the beginning of October I was passed on to the Orange County District Attorney’s office who I was told would be able to answer my questions from that point on as they had taken over the case.

I’m not sure why, but the OCDA’s office never returned a single one of my calls or emails, despite numerous attempts to get further info on Son’s case from them.

Today, I remembered that Son’s trial was to start some time in November, so I checked my notes and realized that it actually started two weeks ago on November 4. I had it incorrectly written down as starting on November 14.

Accessing the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation’s website as I had several times over the past six months (and was able to do so as recently as three weeks ago) to see if there was any new info on Son’s case, I was surprised to find that his prisoner number showed no such person in the database and that there was no record that he ever existed in the system. 

I’m going to try to get in touch with the DA’s office to see what’s going on, but I found it kind of odd that nobody wants to divulge anything about the case and that he mysteriously disappeared from California State’s records.

In the meantime, for those of you who haven’t read the court’s synopsis of the case, you can read it after the jump.

("I’m sorry, Jenny, but my heart belongs to another.")

Great work in the comments section this week, you guys. There were a few lines in particular that we felt were worthy of recognition — and CagePotato t-shirts — but we have to warn you, some of this stuff gets a little blue. So tell your kids to leave the room, and read on…

(Son’s mugshot [top] courtesy of TMZ.com; in retrospect, the abuse he took at UFC 4 was entirely deserved.)

This story is too bizarre and shocking not to pass along. You may remember Joe Son as the UFC/PRIDE fighter and practitioner of “Joe Son Do” who got his balls punched in by Keith Hackney at UFC 4 and had his groin abused further as Random Task in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Well, he might be facing 275 years in prison. TMZ caught it first:

Son pleaded guilty back in May to felony vandalism. The plea required him to fork over a DNA sample. Investigators ran his sample and found Son’s DNA connected him to an unsolved gang rape back in 1990, where a woman was pistol-whipped, raped, threatened with death and eventually blindfolded and released naked.

Son has been charged with five felony counts of rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulation, and one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force.

Sherdog digs up more disgusting details:

Son, along with a second suspect, is accused of dragging the victim into the back of a car, pistol whipping her, threatening her life at gun point while he counted the bullets in his gun, and raping, sodomizing, and forcing her to orally copulate him repeatedly, according to a release from the Orange County District Attorney’s Office. Son is also accused of sexually penetrating the victim with his firearm before she was released naked with her pants tied around her eyes.

God bless DNA. Son is being held on $1 million bail. His accomplice in the crime is still at large.

Related:
— Joe Son highlight reel
— ‘Just Bleed’ guy in prison until 2012 for receiving stolen property