11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

Tag: Joey Beltran

Ben vs. Seth: UFC Fight Night 29 Edition

You know how broken-down, piece-of-shit houses are often advertised as “handyman’s specials“? Well, tomorrow’s UFC Fight Night 29 event in Barueri is a “grappler’s wet dream,” headlined by two welterweights known for bringing it to the mat and keeping it there for AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!! (Just trying to stay positive here, guys.) Non-Baruerians can watch the action on FOX Sports 1, and we’ll be livebogging the main card starting at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT.

To keep you current on all the important themes surrounding “Maia vs. Shields,” it’s time for CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and staff writer Seth Falvo to engage in some spirited debate. So how will the main event play out? What’s the best way to make money off the fights? Which fighter on the card is talented enough to be a future Bellator tournament semi-finalist? And which funny GIF will show up at the end of this post? Read on, and please toss your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Demian Maia‘s main event fight against Jake Shields go any differently than his last win against Jon Fitch? And are you already sold on Maia as a future welterweight title contender?

BG: Not all boring grapplers are the same. There can be subtle differences between boring grapplers. Jon Fitch is a guy whose single-minded focus is to take you down and lay on you until the fight ends. Jake Shields will take you down and try to submit you first, and if that’s not working out, then he’ll lay on you until the fight ends.

Here’s another difference — Fitch seems to lose a couple belt-ranks when his opponent manages to scramble onto his back. (Maia and BJ Penn were both able to hang out in back control for long stretches against Fitch, who defended himself well against rear-naked chokes, but was otherwise stuck in position.) Shields tends to be a little more active on the mat than Fitch both offensively and defensively, and unlike Fitch, Jake Shields has never been submitted in his entire career.

I see two possible outcomes here: 1) Maia and Shields recognize each other’s grappling abilities, and proceed to put on the sloppiest, stupidest kickboxing match in recent UFC history. 2) Shields tries to play jiu-jitsu with Maia, and it doesn’t work out too well for him. Either way, I’ve got the Brazilian by decision. Now would that firmly establish Maia as a title threat? Maybe not. Keep in mind that all of Maia’s opponents during his UFC welterweight run have been wrestlers. Give him the winner of UFC 167’s Robbie Lawler vs. Rory MacDonald bout after this one, and we’ll see how he handles himself in the deep end of the pool, against guys with the power to turn him upside-down.

SF: Glad to see I’m not the only person around here who has drank more than enough of the Demian Maia Kool-Aid; I’m already sold on him as a legitimate contender. But are we seriously writing off Jake Shields this easily?

I’m not about to write that Jake Shields has great striking or anything, but for a one-dimensional grappler, his Muay Thai is better than it has any business being. Yeah, I know — that’s like writing that The Wrestling Boot Band weren’t that terrible or that Pepsi Jazz was sort-of drinkable — but I’m not ready to say the same thing about Maia. Point being, if this fight stays on the feet, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see Jake Shields walk away victorious. And, who knows, Jake may even violate a CagePotato Ban and win by bringing back the old Jake Shields tomorrow night. Anything can happen in a cage fight, bro.

Looking at the gambling odds for this event, what’s the single smartest wager you could make?

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Rousimar Palhares, Joey Beltran Fail Drug Tests Following ‘UFC on FX 6′ Appearances [UPDATED]


(You know what, bro, put down that birthday cake. You don’t deserve it anymore.)

MMA’s drug-failure tally has gotten off to a fast start in 2013, with two notable fighters already netted by the UFC’s independent testing. Here’s the promotion’s official statement via UFC.com:

Rousimar Palhares tested positive for elevated testosterone and Joey Beltran tested positive for nandrolone, following their respective bouts at UFC on FX 6 in Australia. The UFC organization has a strict, consistent policy against the use of any illegal and/or performance-enhancing drugs, stimulants or masking agents. Both athletes have agreed to serve a nine-month suspension retroactive to December 14. They must pass a drug test upon completion of the suspension before receiving clearance to compete again.

Palhares was knocked out by Hector Lombard on the “Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson” main card, marking Toquinho’s second-straight KO loss. Between his losing skid and the fact that this isn’t even his first suspension while under contract with the UFC, Palhares is on very thin ice. As for Beltran, the light-heavyweight slugger defeated Igor Pokrajac by decision during the UFC on FX 6 prelims. That win will likely be changed to a no-contest.

Update: Joey Beltran denies taking any illegal substances, and is laying the groundwork for a tainted supplements defense. His statement (via twitter) is after the jump…

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Anthony Perosh Gets Big Toe Damn Near Ripped Off, Will Miss UFC on FX 6 Fight With Joey Beltran [GROSS]


(Censored version via LarryBrownSports)

After suffering a gruesome injury to his big toe in training, UFC light-heavyweight Anthony Perosh will not be making his scheduled date with Joey Beltran at UFC on FX 6 (December 15th; Queensland, Australia). The news was first reported by Australian journalist Adam Ireland, who tweeted this horrible, uncensored look at the toe-break with the following explanation:

Anthony had surgery a few days ago. No replacement named by the @ufc yet…The injury happened when Anthony attempted a routine takedown and his toe got stuck in/between 2 mats…Got off the phone to an understandably upset Anthony half an hour ago fellas – surgery, pins, the works…@AnthonyPerosh will revisit the surgeon tomorrow with an aim to be training again in 4-6 weeks.

Perosh, who is coming off a brutal seven-second knockout loss to Ryan Jimmo, now joins Neil Melanson and Miguel Torres’s homeboy in the Jacked-Up Toe Hall of Fame. Beltran has lost his last three fights in the UFC, but won a Fight of the Night award in his most recent decision loss to James Te-Huna at UFC on Fuel: Munoz vs. Weidman. We’ll let you know if the Mexecutioner gets a new dance partner for the 12/15 card. Update: Igor Pokrajac will step in for Perosh.

After the jump: Our brave attempt to turn Anthony Perosh’s disgusting broken toe into an inspirational Internet meme.

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UFC on FUEL 4: Munoz vs. Weidman — Live Results & Commentary

Sure, UFC 148 had countless hours of commercials and press conferences, but did you get a look at this poster?!? (Photo: UFC.com)

It’s been four days and two hundred Chael posts since we last took you for a guided tour of the Octagon, but by god we’re ready to do it again, brother. At your service this eve is weekend foreman Chris Colemon. Treat him well, kids.

All ten fighters made weight last night, though three had to pull a Rousey just to hit the mark. In the evening’s main event, Mark Munoz will look to rebound from stomach-turning elbow surgery as he takes on Chris Weidman. Munoz has flirted with a title shot before, but can he get through the highly-regarded, undefeated Weidman to get back on track?

Riding shotgun on the card are Joey Beltran and James Te Huna. The Mexicutioner picked up a victory and a tapeworm while away from the UFC; he returns tonight as a light heavyweight to slug it out with the heavy-handed Kiwi. Someone’s getting concussed.

All of the cool kids are inside talking about the fights. If you’re cool, you’ll join us too.

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[VIDEOS] UFC on FUEL 4: Munoz vs. Weidman Weigh-Ins and an Interview with Chael Sonnen


(TICKLE FIGHT!! Photo via MMAMania.)

Though it lacked the shoulder-checking excitement of the UFC 148 weigh-ins, last night’s UFC on FUEL 4 weigh-ins were not without their fair share of close calls. Mainly, that of Rafael Natal, Francis Carmont, and Alex Caceres, who all had to drop trou in order to make weight for their scheduled contests with Andrew Craig, Karlos Vemola, and Damacio Page, respectively. Caceres went au naturale right off the get-go to make 136, whereas Natal and Carmont managed to shed a pound following the aforementioned removal of their trousers, which must have been lined with a paper thin piece of iron or had a ham sandwich in the back pocket. Mark Munoz, on the other hand, squeaked in at the 186 pound limit for his main event matchup with fellow wrestling standout Chris Wediman.

And speaking of ham sandwiches/UFC 148, Subway aficionado Jay Glazer sat down alongside Ariel Helwani and recently dispatched middleweight contender Chael Sonnen to break down tonight’s main event, as well as discuss Sonnen’s UFC 148 loss and his future in the sport after the weigh-ins had concluded. We gotta give props to Glazer, who came right out and asked Sonnen, “What the hell were you thinking with that spinning elbow?” to which Sonnen responded in good humor, “I wish I could tell you…but I fell down like a doofus and I gotta live with it.” That you do, Chael. That you do.

Check out both of those videos and the full weigh-in results after the jump, and make sure to swing by CagePotato at 7 p.m. EST, where we will be liveblogging all the action in between heated games of Battleshots.

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The Mexicutioner Returns!


(That moment when you realize that you just sharted in plain sight of a couple hundred people…and there’s nothing you can do about it.) 

If the great Injury Curse of summer 2012 has given us anything to sing about, it is this matchup, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, the same plague that has cost us Lombard vs. Stann, Shogun vs. Silva, Faber vs. Cruz III, Alves vs. Bahadurzada, other Silva vs. Belfort, and perhaps most devastatingly, Fitch vs. Simpson, has finally managed to provide a silver lining in the gray cloud resting over the next couple of months, as minute as it may be.

Just four months after being released from the UFC following a first round knockout at the hands of Lavar Johnson, it appears that the man with perhaps the greatest racially-themed nickname in all of MMA, Joey “The Mexicutioner” Beltran, is on his way back to the promotion. Barring any last minute injuries that are sure to happen, Beltran is tentatively scheduled to take on hard hitting New Zealander James Te Huna, who was left without a dance partner after Brandon Vera was inexplicably paired with Mauricio Rua for the main event of UFC on FOX 4.

Beltran broke the news via his Twitter account yesterday evening:

back in the @ufc vs James TeHuna july 11 @FUELTV lets do this!

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And Now He’s Fired: Joey Beltran


(Is that Brazilian Walnut I am standing on? Classy.) 

Called it.

As told to FightersOnly magazine by none other than Joey Beltran himself, it appears that the UFC has released “The Mexicutioner” following his first round “kickstand KO” (Props to Stak40 for coining the term) loss to Lavar Johnson at UFC on Fox 2. The loss was Beltran’s fourth in his last five outings but his first ever to come via form of (T)KO. In regards to his release, Beltran stated the following:

I am truly grateful for all the opportunities that I have received from the UFC/Zuffa. I am not sad or hurt by their decision as I know that winning is the name of the game. Posting  a 1-4 record my last 5 fights is unacceptable regardless of how entertaining the fights were. So this is the next chapter of my career, and one that I am excited for. You will definitely see my ugly face again so fans don’t worry and haters keep on hating. 

We know the Internet is a cold, harsh place, but what person claiming to be a fan of MMA would hate Joey Beltran?

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Video: UFC 143 Danavlog #1

By now, you know the deal when it comes to Dana White’s videoblogs, and today’s “episode” is no different. Taking a behind-the-scenes look at the aftermath of the UFC’s second Fox event, the UFC 143 videoblog contains the familiar mix of upper and downer moments, with an emphasis on the downer. Especially tough to watch is Joey Beltran’s realization that his Zuffa career may have reached a temporary standstill in the wake of his first round KO loss to Lavar Johnson. Keep your chin up, “Mexicutioner.”

Let’s get right to the highlights.

(0:45) - Jon Jones, seen here for the last time before disappearing into a thicket of notes from which he has yet to emerge.

(1:22) – God damn it, will someone give Beltran a hug and tell him that everything is going to be alright?

(1:40) – Eric Wisely, still in awe of the calf-slicer Charles Oliveira was able to pull on him. The pain was apparently so incredible that Wisely has trouble explaining to the backstage physician where exactly the strain was.

(2:48) – Jon Jones explains how Cub Swanson is one of the “nastiest dudes” on Team Jackson. He makes a good point.

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GIF Party: ‘UFC on FOX 2: Evans vs. Davis’ edition


Swanson vs. Roop provided an early candidate for Side-Punchface of the Year. Props: UFC.com

Remember how last night, you invited your non-MMA fan friends over to introduce them to our sport? You spent the past week talking about how Chael Sonnen is one of the best trash talkers in professional sports, and how technical and talented these fighters were. You figured that after three fights that were guaranteed to be exceptional, your friends would be won over to MMA fandom. Then you’d continue to drink and be merry all night, and we’d all meet up here today for our traditional post-UFC event GIF party where we all high five over how awesome the fights were.

Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, you found yourself doing damage control as you watched three fights worth of sloppy brawling, wall and stall and Chael Sonnen’s blatant swaggerjacking of homage to “Superstar” Billy Graham. You tried to convince them that the fights are usually nothing like this, and that these guys gassing out and the end of the first round are world class athletes. Eventually, one of your friends said “I bet Pacquiao would destroy ANY of these guys” as the rest of your friends grabbed their coats and said they’d call you next time they wanted to watch the fights.

Okay, so last night sucked. But we’ve been planning this party all week, and we’ll be damned if we cancel it at this point. So grab an alcoholic beverage, put on your gaudiest Affliction shirt and join us for our traditional post-UFC event GIF Party.

As always, praise be to Zombie Prophet at IronForgesIron.com for the GIFS.

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‘UFC on FOX 2: Evans vs Davis’ Aftermath–The Cutting Room Floor

Totally illegal in NCAA competition. (Photo: UFC.com)

“It’s usually not like this.” With that text I found myself apologizing to a UFC-virgin for the first time in a long time. My friend had just told me that she was at home watching the the show on FOX, without any provocation from me mind you. “This is that fighting you like, right???”. I assured her that the event had yet to capture the energy and excitement indicative of the sport. “I’m going back and forth between this and figure skating,” she replied. I can’t really say I blame her, either.

While we expected plenty of grappling in the bouts themselves, the wrestling theme seemed to carry on throughout the production at large. The usually-charismatic Jon Jones wrestled with his notes, relying on them not just for in-depth fight analysis but for simple things like his thoughts on fighting Rashad. The opening act wrestled with fatigue, leading to a performance as exhausting for fans as it was for the competitors in the cage. And once again, FOX wrestled with an underwhelming broadcast that left the most exciting action behind in the prelims.

Enough belly aching about the show itself, let’s take a look at what made such a promising event so forgettable for the masses.

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