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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: John Lineker

GIF-Ranking the Bevy of Fights to Be Booked Today, August 7th, By Interest Level


(So *that’s* what Amir’s been up to these past few years? That poor, poor man…)

You might not know this, but the UFC needs to book a fight approximately every 3.5 seconds in order to pull off hosting as many cards as it does these days. And with fighters going down to injury every 5-6 seconds, the UFC is all but forced to inflate its already bloated roster (or keep some fighters around way, way too long) with less than experienced fighters to make up the difference. Hence, Royston Wee.

In the past 12 hours, a half dozen or so fights have been booked for just these reasons. Most of them promise to be entertaining affairs. Some of them, not so much. Hence, gifs. Let’s get started.

Chan Sung Jung vs. Akira Corassani — Fight Night Sweden

Although not officially confirmed, it looks like we will finally see “The Korean Zombie” return to the octagon for the first time since being broken to pieces in his four round smash-up with Jose Aldo at UFC 163. According to reports, Jung will face TUF 14 alum and Swedish native Akira Corassani at Fight Night 53 on October 4th.

Corassani has also had a rough go of things lately — back in November, he scored a victory via DQ against Maximo Blanco at the TUF 18 Finale when a blitzkrieg of illegal knees rendered him unable to continue. He was then legally smashed up by Dustin Poirier in the second round of a back-and-forth, “Fight of the Night”-earning effort at the TUF Nations Finale. At the very minimum, someone is going to have something broken in this fight, which makes this ranking obvious:

Just Bleed Guy UFC gifs gif MMA funny

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UFC Fight Night 45 Video Highlights: Donald Cerrone vs. Jim Miller, Edson Barboza’s Nasty Body Kick TKO + More


(Props: UFC on FOX)

If you didn’t tune in to UFC Fight Night 45: Cerrone vs. Miller last night, slap yourself in the face. The Atlantic City event was chock full of wild battles, debilitating body shots, and freakish hematomas, and every fight on the main card ended by stoppage — all at the low, low price of $0.00 (assuming you have basic cable).

Headliner Donald Cerrone became the fifth UFC fighter in history to earn ten performance bonuses, thanks to his second-round knockout of Jim Miller, which netted him a $50,000 bump for Performance of the Night. Fun fact: Cerrone has earned $610,000 in bonus money during his three-and-a-half-year UFC career…and counting. Check out highlights from Cerrone vs. Miller in the video above. At the 0:38-0:41 mark, Jim Miller tries to recreate Scott Smith vs. Pete Sell and fails. But man, that would have been awesome.

Fight of the Night went to the John Lineker vs. Alptekin Ozkilic flyweight feature, which Lineker won by TKO with nine seconds remaining in the fight. Highlights from that match are after the jump, along with footage from Edson Barboza‘s body-kick TKO of Evan Dunham, Joe Proctor’s gritty win over Justin Salas, and Rick Story‘s squash match submission against Leonardo Mafra.

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Fight Night 45: Cerrone vs. Miller — Liveblogging the Fights You Actually Care About


(Looks like McConaughey is still struggling to put that Dallas Buyers Club weight back on. Photo via Getty.)

‘Sup, Nation. Danga here. I’ll be handling liveblogging duties for tonight’s Fight Night 45: Cerrone vs. Miller card, and this is in no way influenced by the fact that I’ve been missing work the past couple of days due to a horrendous mix of consumption, rickets, and spina bifida (I have the same doctor as Tito Ortiz). Anyways, some of the fights on tonight’s card look entertaining enough. Some do not. I will be liveblogging the former. I’m not sure how many yet, but I’ll be sure to fill the dead air with whimsical musings and shower thought-worthy topics of discussion.

In the evening’s main event, veteran badasses Donald Cerrone and Jim Miller will likely engage in a Fight of the Night-earning effort. It will be described as both “sick” and “epic” by the experts on Twitter. Who you like in this fight may very well boil down to your stance on micro vs. mainstream beer — We all know Cerrone is a Budweiser fan, whereas Miller is not some shwill-sipping charlatan who lacks taste buds and therefore prefers his own brand of microbrew. Guess who I’m rooting for. Join me, maybe?

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“Rumble” Returns to the UFC! Faces Phil Davis at UFC 172 in Baltimore


(Oh how we’ve missed you, old friend.)

Anthony Johnson‘s redemptive arch as a fighter is one on par with something typically reserved for a Hollywood movie. The hard-hitting Georgian was once the talk of the town at 170 lbs., lauded as easily the most dangerous potential challenger to Georges St. Pierre‘s throne and a mountain of a challenge for anyone in between. Problem was, Johnson suffered from what is now known as “Lineker’s Syndrome” — the inability to actually make weight for two consecutive bouts in the division he was supposedly competing in.

Johnson’s struggles on the scale seemed as if they would be a thing of the past when he announced that he would be moving up to middleweight, but lo, they only got worse. Johnson missed weight by a staggering 12 pounds for his middleweight debut against Vitor Belfort, was choked out in the first round at UFC 142, and promptly fired by the UFC.

Looking back now, it’s laughable and damn near inconceivable to picture “Rumble” as a welterweight. Once exiting the UFC, Johnson immediately moved up to light heavyweight, then heavyweight, scoring vicious knockouts of Jake Rosholt and DJ Linderman (see above) as well as a decision victory over Andrei Arlovski along the way. Most recently, Johnson dropped back to light heavyweight to violently KO Strikeforce veteran Mike Kyle at WSOF 8 (notice a pattern here?), his third successive win since signing with the WSOF back in 2012.

His weight issues finally behind him, Johnson’s hard work over the years will come to a head at UFC 172, when “Rumble” faces top light heavyweight prospect Phil Davis in a fight that will place the winner on the short list of title contenders.

Also on tap for UFC 172…

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UFC 169 Results: Barao TKOs Faber, Aldo Decisions Lamas


(I’ll eat my own foot if the word “bro” wasn’t uttered at least once. / Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Legacies will be defined, belts may or may not change hands, and “Bagautinov” will be pronounced at least three different ways — welcome, ladies and gents, to CagePotato’s liveblog of UFC 169: Barao vs. Faber. On tap for this evening: Renan Barao attempts to defend his unified bantamweight title for the first time against Urijah Faber, and Jose Aldo goes for his sixth UFC featherweight title defense against hard-charging contender Ricardo Lamas. Plus: a heavyweight battle between Alistair Overeem and Frank Mir that’s totally awesome if you don’t think about it too hard.

Handling play-by-play for the UFC 169 pay-per-view broadcast is Aaron Mandel, who will be putting live results from the main card after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and shoot your own thoughts into the comments section. Thanks for coming.

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 169: Barao vs. Faber II Edition’


(“It’s OK Eddie, you’re still the king of the invisible motorcycle dance.” Photo via Getty) 

By Dan George

The UFC returns to lovely…Newark, New Jersey this weekend with UFC 169, featuring a pair of lighter weight title fights and what *should* be a loser-leaves-town fight between Alistair Overeem and Frank Mir that you know who seems unwilling to commit to. There’s also a few badass Russians, a hard-hitting Canadian, and a surging TUF alum thrown in for good measure, so it should be a hell of a card.

And with each UFC pay-per-view comes the p4p best gambling advice on the internet: The Gambling Addiction Enabler. So join us below as we dissect UFC 169 and determine where the best opportunities to make some serious bank lie, because let’s be honest, we’ve all got child support payments to make. What? You don’t have any illegitimate children? I feel like I don’t even know you guys anymore.

The Good Dogs:

John Makdessi (-165) vs. Alan Patrick (+145)

At -165, Makdessi earns the right to be the favorite against undefeated Alan Patrick, who will be looking to make it 2-0 in the UFC. Both fighters are coming off first round knockout wins and while Makdessi has earned his stripes against better competition, it is hard to ignore “Nuguette’s” (?) winning formula thus far in his career. There is no denying that Makdessi is the more talented striker, but Patrick mixes up his striking with takedowns very well which may present problems for Makdessi if he is unable to stop the larger man from taking him down early and often. Against Hallman, “The Bull” showed that his Achilles heel is the ground game and this is where Patrick at +145 is worth some consideration based on what we have seen from him throughout his career.

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Ben vs. Seth: UFC 169 Edition


(…and if you turn the poster over, you’ll see Ben and Seth, butt to butt.)

UFC 169 is poppin’ off this Saturday in Newark, featuring two title fights, a must-win battle between a pair of fading heavyweight legends, and a bunch of other crap that you may or may not care about. Join us as CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and editor emeritus Seth Falvo debate the major storylines surrounding the event, from Urijah Faber‘s resurrected title hopes to our always iron-clad gambling advice (LOL), and much more. Enjoy…

True or false: Even though Urijah Faber has already been beaten once by Renan Barao, he still has a better chance of becoming champion this weekend than Ricardo Lamas does.

BG: True. Barao has proven that he’s a better fighter than Faber, but the Cali Kid is so talented and dangerous that nobody really outclasses him at 135. If Barao has a bad night and Faber has a good night, it’s within the realm of possibility that Faber could find a way to choke him out; their skills aren’t that far apart. And maybe there isn’t a talent-gap whatsoever. The fact that Faber’s five WEC/UFC losses have all come in title fights — and the fact that he’s still undefeated in non-title fights, after a full decade of competition — suggests that perhaps there’s some kind of psychological block that’s preventing the California Kid from firing on all cylinders when a belt’s on the line. (Then again, that’s probably the best reason to pick against him on Saturday.) But in this chaotic sport, anything can happen. No absurd win streak lasts forever, and sometimes the sun shines on an old veteran’s ass, so to speak.

SF: False, and not just because this column would be really boring if we both agreed with each other. No one is denying that Urijah Faber is an outstanding talent, but you pretty much made my point for me when you wrote “if Barao has a bad night and Faber has a good night” in regards to his chances of becoming the bamtamweight champion. Lamas, on the other hand…okay fine, his odds aren’t looking any better. Both men have the same slim chances of walking out of The Prudential Center with their respective division’s title, making “Faber has a better chance” technically wrong, and me technically correct. And everyone knows that technically correct is the best kind of correct.

Let’s say Barao defeats Faber on Saturday. Let’s say that he also never fights Dominick Cruz. Does that make Barao’s title run any less legitimate?

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GIF-Ranking the Avalanche of UFC Fights That Were Booked Today, December 18th, By Interest Level


(“You know what, Steve, I’m not really feeling this fight. Think I’ll just sit out a few plays.” Photo via Getty.)

Fight-booking articles are a dime a dozen. Throw a couple statistics here, a fighter breakdown there, and top it all off with some information about the event and you’ve got yourself a perfectly normal, haiku-length article that you could almost pass off as journalism. And then its back to huffing duster in your grandmother’s basement, desperately and fruitlessly attempting to blind yourself from the hellscape that has become your reality. But at least you don’t have to wear a tie to work! (*laughs, cries into whiskey*)

The point is, there are some matchups you can’t help but elaborate on as a fan of the sport – Woodley vs. Condit, for instance. But there are only so many ways to inform you readers that several lower-level fights have recently been booked on (under)cards you probably won’t even watch, so when all else fails, we resort to the GIF. Let’s get to the fight bookings!

 

#6 – Brad Scott vs. Claudio Henrique da Silva – Fight Night 37 (March 8, London)

I have no idea who these people are. Ranking: 

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UFC Fight Night: Machida vs. Munoz — Live Results & Commentary


(An elusive striker who throws punches like they cost him money vs. a former All-American wrestler. Yeah, baby. This is the matchup the Brits have been *begging* for. / Photo via Getty)

Today’s UFC Fight Night 30 card in Manchester is clearly one of those European events that we Americans aren’t really supposed to care about. But we’re here, and if you’re reading this, you’re here too. So let’s make the most of it.

In the main event, the impressively-shredded Lyoto Machida makes his 185-pound debut against Mark Munoz, while Ross Pearson will do his best not to win Fight of the Night in his meeting with Melvin Guillard. Plus: Undefeated Nigerian destroyer Jimi Manuwa slugs it out with Ryan Jimmo, and TUF Smashes winner Norman Parke will look for his third UFC win in a row against Jon Tuck.

Handling the play-by-play for us today will be George Shunick, who will be stacking results from the FOX Sports 2 main card broadcast after the jump beginning at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and fire off your own observational witticisms in the comments section.

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Four Hidden Storylines For ‘UFC Fight Night 30: Machida vs. Munoz’

By Adam Martin

UFC Fight Night 30: Machida vs. Munoz is really flying under the radar as an overall card (thanks in no small part to the truly epic evening that was UFC 166), but if you take a closer look at it, there are actually quite a few intriguing matchups with important questions to answer.

I’ve combed the card up and down and I’ve come up with four hidden storylines that viewers should be aware of going into UFC Fight Night 30. Let me know what you think in the comments section, and be sure to come back to CagePotato on Saturday for our liveblog of the broadcast.

1) Can Lyoto Machida Make a Run at the Middleweight Title?

The most important question that UFC Fight Night 30 will answer, in my opinion, is whether or not Lyoto Machida is going to make a run for the UFC middleweight title. The former light heavyweight champion dropped down to 185 pounds after a controversial decision loss to Phil Davis at UFC 163 and now faces Mark Munoz in Saturday’s main event.

With a win over Munoz, one of the top 10 fighters in the division, Machida will instantly prove that he has what it takes to make a run for the belt at 185 pounds and become just the third fighter in UFC history to win titles in two separate weight classes (the other two fighters who have accomplished this feat being Randy Couture and BJ Penn).

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