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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: jolly old England

The UFC’s International Plans for 2014 Include Events In Ireland, Scotland…Turkey?


(Literally every street corner in Istanbul, sans heroin.) 

Want to know how I know that none of the other MMA sites who reported on this morning’s UFC/EA Gamescom presentation actually watched a second of it? Because not one of them noted that the presentation began with Bruce Buffer introducing Head of EA Sports, Andrew Wilson, and Executive Vice President and Managing Director of UFC Europe, Garry Cook, via A GOLDEN MICROPHONE, the glossy reflection of which would have burned a hole in Thor’s retina had the albino shut-ins who go to these things allowed even a crack of sunlight into the building. And behind Buffer on the jumbotron during his epic introduction? You best believe it was a giant photo of himself in action — his eyes more piercing as the night, his suit classier than your Grandfather’s high school portrait. A visual echo, if you will.

Anyway, it was at this presentation that Cook announced the UFC’s international plans for 2014. Although he got off to a rough start when he said that mixed martial arts integrates such “popular Olympic sports as wrestling,” Cook quickly recovered by reciting some diversity stats like he was MMA Supercomputer Bjorn Rebney before laying out the UFC’s goals for 2014:

We have athletes representing 37 countries. We broadcast our events in 28 languages. And we’ve established major broadcasting partnerships in 145 countries around the world.

And in 2014, you’ll see more live events. England, Sweden, Poland, Ireland, Turkey, and most importantly, we will be back in Germany in 2014. 

Cook conveniently neglected to mention Scotland, which also was highlighted on the jumbotron, as among the UFC’s scheduled trips in the coming year. Man, those British sure can carry a grudge.

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[VIDEO] Michael Bisping Talks TRT and God Damn It, We Actually Agree With Him


(I don’t always accuse Hector Lombard of using steroids, but when I do, I make this face.)  

Potato Nation, I feel like I should say something in regards to Michael Bisping, because it seems that every time we poke fun at the bloke, a few of you get all butt hurt and call us wankers or poofters before begging your mothers to kiss the wound and make it all better. You claim that we are biased against British people, and though we have every right to be, this is simply not the case.

So here’s the deal; I personally have nothing against you Brits. I find your accents to be glorious, dignified, and far more soothing on the ear to than the slack jawed “wickid aaawesomes” New England has to offer. I love the The Inbetweeners, Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown Ale, Ricky Gervais, and a platter of Bangers and Mash as much as the rest of you probably do, if not more. As a matter of fact, I don’t even hate Michael Bisping. Sure, the guy is a dick by all accounts, but I can’t really claim to hate someone that I’ve never met before. I’m simply not that cynical, and I’m sure the same goes for my fellow writers. But this is CagePotato. We make jokes here. And we just happen to enjoy targeting guys like Bisping, Josh Koscheck, fat BJ Penn, and Dana White, because we enjoy picking the lowest hanging fruit. We good now? Alright, let’s move on.

The reason I give this disclaimer is due to the fact that Bisping recently sat down with Mauro Ranallo for a lengthy interview a month out from his UFC 152 fight with “All American” Brian Stann. We know, you’re thinking we’re going to set him up for a punchline here, but that is not the case today. Everything from the current injury curse to Hector Lombard’s dud of a debut was discussed, but it was when they came to the issue of TRT that Bisping actually made an argument that we could get behind. Our buddies over at MiddleEasy shared our concern. Granted, Bisping had to reduce most of his argument to the crudest terms available, but that doesn’t make it wrong:

I think it’s absolute nonsense, rubbish, bullshit. Listen, we all get old, we all grow up, you know? At some point, as you start getting older, your balls don’t work as well and you don’t make as much testosterone, but, that’s life and you deal with it. A guy that is 40-years old doesn’t make as much testosterone as a 21-year old so he gets an exemption certificate to say, ‘So now we will give him as much testosterone as a 21-year old.’ Well, what about me, I’m 33 (years of age), I’m not making the same amount as a 21-year old, but I make more than a 40-year old.

Where do we draw the line? It’s nonsense.

After the jump: The full interview, wherein Bisping accuses Lombard of steroid use, calls Mark Munoz fat, and says he’s “gonna knock the fucker out” when discussing Stann. And the world returned to normal.

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WTF?! of the Day: Sean Sherk Mistaken for Crime Warlord, Temporarily Detained in UK


(This is what I get for offering them a ticket to The Gun Show.) 

Oh, those wacky Brits. It appears that, while touring the UK as part of a MMA seminar tour, former UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk was accidentally pegged in connection with a well known crime boss (our guess would be Salvatore Riina) when the vehicle he was riding in was stopped at a roadblock.

After a small misunderstanding, machine gun toting bobbies descended upon Sherk and forcefully removed him from the car, which they believed to be loaded with illegal firearms. Fighters Only has the exclusive:

As he was being ferried into the area, the car he was travelling in was stopped by a roadblock and armed police swooped on the vehicle. Police had the vehicle on their database as being linked to a local man who they believe to be a key gangland figure. 

Sherk thought the car was being subjected to a routine stop until it turned out to involve several carloads of police officers carrying automatic weapons, including Hechler and Koch MP5 machine guns – the UK police do not normally carry guns. 

Having remained sat in his passenger seat because he had not understood an instruction to exit the vehicle, Sherk was dragged out by tense officers. They cuffed his hands behind his back and pulled him away where he was none too gently searched before being dumped on the floor.

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Reminder: UFC 120 Weigh-ins Live Right Here at 11:00 AM ET, Old Chaps

We just remembered that the weigh-ins for UFC 120 start in a couple minutes, so please excuse the lack of humorous anecdotes on this post.

Check out Akiyama, Bisping, Hardy, Condit and a bunch of other dudes hugging and mean-mugging in their underwear  after the jump.

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