(“And you tell Anderson that if he wants the true middleweight belt, he can ask me nicely and I will have it back by lunch!” Photo via Getty Images.)

When asked by MMA Heat’s Karyn Bryant about the likelihood of a potential fight with Wanderlei Silva next, Chael P. Sonnen recently stated the following (emphasis mine):

I’m not looking for it anymore, I don’t like to bully guys. I tried to fight him, he doesn’t want to fight. I’m not gonna stick a finger in a guy’s chest. If a guy says ‘no,’ I’m not gonna be a jerk about it. 

We shit you not, that quote (not the caption one, that’s fake and you damn well know it) came directly from the mouth of Chael P. Sonnen. As in the Chael P. Sonnen who once threatened to smack Anderson Silva’s wife on the ass. As in the Chael P. Sonnen who once declared that Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer through PED use (which to be fair, he got the PED part right). As in the Chael P. Sonnen who called Wanderlei Silva a “dirtbag” some three weeks ago when challenging him to a fight in the first place.

Either Jon Jones succeeded where Anderson Silva failed and managed to actually beat some humility into “The American Gangster” or Wandy’s threat to “suck his blood” was just a little too far outside the comfort zone of his Christian, conservative-Republican background to tolerate. Or Wandy has been offered the fight, turned it down, and is pulling another prank on us. Or Joe Silva dropped his cell phone in the toilet and hasn’t had access to the Internet since April.

Whatever the case may be, we suddenly, like, really need to see this fight. So touche, Chael. Tou-fuckin’-che.

-J. Jones 

“On This Day in MMA History” pays tribute to some of the more bizarre and infamous news stories of MMA’s past. The following article was originally published on May 19th, 2012, one year ago today. Note: We’ve placed a few more notable anniversaries at the end of this post.

BREAKING: Jon Jones Arrested for DUI in Binghamton, NY

This doesn’t look good, folks. Initially reported by TMZ.com and confirmed by Josh Gross, UFC Light-Heavyweight champion Jon Jones has been arrested in Binghamton, New York on DUI charges after totaling his Bentley. From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Jones was involved in an accident at around 5:00 AM in Binghamton, NY. We’re told the car — which Jones crashed into a pole — was totaled and cops arrested Jones on the scene for DUI.

According to our sources, Jones was taken into custody by Broome County Sheriff and bailed out a few hours later … by his mom. Jones is from nearby Ithaca.

Fortunately for Jones, it appears that he only suffered minor injuries, and it does not appear that anyone else was injured from this accident. It is unclear whether or not there were any passengers in the car at the time of the accident.

As of this writing, Dana White’s only response to the incident has been a text to TMZ, saying “Wow, i guess its not my week is it?”. Given the week he’s had, that may be putting it mildly. Neither Jones nor his teammates will be commenting on the arrest at this time.

(Jon…erg…just hear me out…*duff*…if we make it to round 2 *duff**duff*…I promise you no less than 20 thousand more buys. Jon?) 

At first glance, the pay-per-view numbers that just came in for UFC 159 don’t seem all that terrible. Truth be told, it would be near impossible to declare the event’s 550,000 estimated buys anything less than a success. However, when you realize that the sole reason the fight was booked in the first place was to cash in on the Chael Sonnen circus act, that 500k kind of pales in comparison to the 925,000 UFC 148 pulled in. In fact, it’s pretty much in line with the average Jon Jones-headlined pay-per-view, save his 700k-earning fight with Rashad Evans at UFC 145. MMAFighting’s Dave Meltzer reports:

Preliminary estimates for UFC 159, headlined by Jon Jones’ successful light heavyweight title defense against Chael Sonnen, indicate pay-per-view buys coming in between 520,000 and 550,000.

There was hope for bigger numbers in the days after the fight, due to the strong ratings of UFC 159 shoulder programming. The weigh-ins were the second-highest rated since Fuel began airing. The event also drew the highest ratings for post-fight coverage of a pay-per-view on Fuel. Prelim match ratings on FX were 32 percent above average.

The number would be the company’s second largest of 2013, trailing UFC 158, with Georges St-Pierre vs. Nick Diaz, but ahead of the now No. 3 event of the year, UFC 157, headlined by Ronda Rousey vs. Liz Carmouche.

So yeah, the event was a success by most standards, yet it only managed to pull in 70,000 more buys that Jones’ UFC 140 title defense against Lyoto Machida, who Jones once begrudgingly referred to as “my lowest pay-per-view draw of the year.” For some reason, this image seems to sum things up nicely.

Former two-time Olympian and Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix Champion Daniel Cormier spoke with Damon Martin over at Bleacher Report recently and gave a little immediate clarity as to his plans. The American Kickboxing Academy fighter made his successful UFC debut a few weeks ago, soundly beating former heavyweight champion Frank Mir by unanimous decision but long-time speculation as to whether he’d drop down a weight class to light heavyweight was stoked when organization President Dana White said that Cormier could get an automatic shot at the 205 pound championship should he decide to lose the weight and change categories.

Cormier says that he’s still early in his career, wants to go down to light heavyweight eventually but will continue to campaign in the division where his teammate, Cain Velasquez, is champion. “Yeah because it keeps me busy, I’m still getting to fight and still gaining experience…At the end of the day, I’m still very early in my career,” Cormier told Bleacher Report.

Perhaps this is Cormier’s way of pumping the brakes on all this title-shot (at either light heavyweight or heavyweight) talk because he wants to develop and get better. Or maybe he’s hedging his bets in case Velasquez happens to lose the belt and he could then have a path to the heavyweight strap without the choice of whether or not to fight a friend and teammate.

(Man, the Jack Links people are gonna be pissed when they realize their mascot is jumping ship for Subway.) 

Alright, so we all know that Daniel Cormier is fat. And, of course, we all also know that fat people are what Roy Nelson eats for his three squares each day. Preferably after they’ve been dipped in a vat of sausage gravy and deep fried.

The guy’s big.

As such, fans and fighters alike have often wondered aloud if the two would be better suited at a lighter weight class – say, light heavyweight. However, both guys continue to kick ass at heavyweight, which kinda makes it hard to say that they should feel a sense of urgency to drop a weight class (except, you know, so as not to die in ten years from a heart attack, Roy).

Nelson is coming off a knockout of professional Greek Statue Model, Cheick Kongo, and Cormier just dominated his second former UFC heavyweight champion. There has been talk of the two facing each other next. But there’s also been talk, mainly from Dana White, that Cormier could get an automatic shot at champion Jon Jones should he choose to drop down to 205lbs.

At first, it seemed liked both Nelson and Cormier were down to face one another, but then “Big Country’s” manager made him look like a chicken – a succulent, golden-fried chicken — by nixing the proposed matchup. Fortunately, Nelson spoke with Bloody Elbow recently and cleared things up once and for all. We guess.

As far Daniel [Cormier], I think the reason Mike, my manager, said anything about Daniel is because he’s supposed be getting an immediate title shot at 205. If he’s going down to 205, it doesn’t really make any sense to fight him, unless we’re going to fight for a 205 contendership. Then hey, we can do that, too. 

(‘Tis but a scratch.)

Despite initial assumptions that Jon Jones suffered a compound fracture of his left big toe during his UFC 159 title defense against Chael Sonnen, the injury was later determined to be a dislocation. (You know, kind of like how Miesha Tate didn’t actually get her arm snapped in half by Ronda Rousey, despite all visual evidence to the contrary.) Dr. Robert Klapper, Chief Orthopedic Surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Hospital, appeared on yesterday’s installment of UFC Tonight to explain Jones’s injury, and give his insight on the recovery process, which doesn’t sound so bad, considering how ugly things looked on Saturday.

“The rehab involves, number one, you put [the toe] back into place,” Klapper said. “Line it up again. Wash out the joint because there’s lots of bad bacteria on that mat, and you need to make sure there’s no infection. The rehabilitation is just let things scar down, which they will. Because there’s no fracture of the bone — it’s just a dislocation — in six weeks it’s healed, then you start range of motion and strengthening. Back to fighting, six to eight weeks.”

Alright, so Bones is out of action for two months, tops, which means that Lyoto Machida’s proposed #1 contender bout against Alexander Gustafsson might not be necessary after all. Condolences, Lyoto.

(Props: YouTube.com/fueltv)

It takes more than two consecutive ass-kickings to keep a good Gangster down. As I [*cough cough*] PREDICTED, Chael Sonnen has no plans to retire following his recent title-fight loss to Jon Jones, and the American Gangster even has a name in mind for his rebound fight: Wanderlei Silva.

Bruised but in high spirits, Sonnen returned to the UFC Tonight studios yesterday where he discussed the experience of fighting Jones (“like getting into a bear cage”), the slightly-controversial stoppage (Sonnen says he was still defending himself when the referee stepped in), and the prospect of winning the light-heavyweight championship on a toe-related technicality (“I’d have walked out of there to the boos…and I’d never look back!”).

Later in the segment, Kenny Florian asked Sonnen the question on everyone’s mind — is this the end for our hero? Sonnen had this to say…

(Lyoto sees that you see what he did there, and will not let it affect his afternoon beverage of choice.) 

Whenever one of my boxer-pilates-yogacise students approach me about dropping my bi-weekly class at the Y because it is “too intense” or “too racist” or “makes no Goddamn sense,” my answer is always the same: “Give it a fortnight, young grasshopper, then decide. Also, can I borrow some bus fare?” Because a lot can change in a couple weeks, simply put, and I wouldn’t want any of my students saying something they regretted and earning an eternal enemy in the process.

At the bare minimum, it’s a philosophy that former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida can appreciate. Because roughly two weeks ago, “The Dragon” stated through his management that it “didn’t make sense” for him to fight the #2-ranked contender Alexander Gustafsson despite being called out by him, what with a guaranteed rematch with Jon Jones looming on the horizon and all.

Unfortunately for Machida, Jones is going to spend the next 6 months recovering from the toecapitation he suffered against Chael Sonnen last weekend, and has stated that he would prefer to face Gustafsson when he returns from his layoff. And wouldn’t you know it, Machida has suddenly changed his tune on the whole Gustafsson issue, but only because Jones is injured, we assure you.

A video of Machida’s post-being-called-out callout of Gustafsson is after the jump. 

(High-fEYEve! Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

In the weeks leading up to his battle with Alan Belcher at UFC 159, we noticed that Michael Bisping appeared to be even more irked than usual – which is saying something when you’re talking about a guy whose rage often exceeds the physical limitations of his human vessel – and hypothesized that “The Count” might just be the kind of fighter who needs anger as a motivator. Bisping has admitted it himself and famed hacker Jerry Rips has since passed along audio proof.

But after taking a gander over the UFC 159 salaries, which were released by The New Jersey State Athletic Commission (via MMA-Manifesto) over the weekend, one begins to wonder just what the hell Bisping is so angry at these days. Either the “grudge match” angle is the only one he knows how to play or the $275,000 to show/$150,000 to win rate he is currently receiving is being stolen out from under him, because with that payday, you think he’d be all smiles.

Bisping’s $425k is just one of many head-scratchers that the UFC 159 salary list has to offer, so join us after the jump for a full rundown of the payout and a few totally unbiased observations.

(Video from UFC’s Youtube page)

UFC 159 proved wrong those who said light heavyweight champion Jon Jones would not face adversity before the night was over. The champion did indeed face pain and difficulty Saturday night – it just came after his main event title defense against Chael Sonnen, not during it.

Jones appeared to have no trouble at all taking down Sonnen three times in under a round and then bloodying and stopping the challenger. He celebrated with coaches, smiled wide and even threw in a little show-boating shadow kickboxing right before television analyst Joe Rogan interviewed him.

That’s when Jones, his belt once more fastened around his waist, looked down and first saw that his left big toe was mangled, broken and, perhaps falling off of his foot. The visage of his disgustingly broken toe (photos after the jump) seemed to shock, disturb and nauseate “Bones” but he got a stool, gritted his teeth and soldiered through the interview while doctors worked on the nasty crap going on below the camera’s frame.

As the adrenaline wore off and he saw the damage done, Jones must have begun to feel the pain. He might miss his planned Jamaican vacation, he said, but dammed if Jones wouldn’t go above and beyond with his press duties. Before the fight, idiots in the media criticized Jones for wanting to fight more than wanting to talk (gasp) in the days leading up to UFC 159.

As the night came to a close, however, Jones showed one more way that he could out-Sonnen, Sonnen. You can wrestle, Chael? Fine. I can do it better.

You can talk, Chael? Sure. So can I, and right after whooping you and with a bone sticking out of my foot.

Gross photos after the jump.

Yep. (Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

It’s almost unfair to write about the light-heavyweight title fight between Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen from last night’s UFC 159 right now, since we won’t know whether or not this fight delivered what it was supposed to for a long time. I’m not writing about the way that Jon Jones effortlessly defeated Chael Sonnen; we knew Sonnen was absolutely no threat to the light-heavyweight kingpin. I’m not writing about how Jones completely ignored his vastly superior striking and ridiculous reach advantage in order defeat “the gangster from West Linn” by impersonating him; we sort-of predicted that Jones would clown his way through this fight. We knew that the main event was going to deliver a lopsided beat-down. It’s yet to be seen how – or even if – the marketability of Jon Jones will benefit as a result.

That being said, it’s hard to expect the superfight we never asked for to have much of an effect on the way that fans perceive Jones. I didn’t think it was possible to feel as apathetic about a first round knockout as I felt after last night’s main event. Judging by the comments I’ve read on our liveblog, I’m hardly alone here. When it was over, the match felt more like a bad professional wrestling storyline than a UFC pay-per-view main event, and the outcome felt just as forced.

(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

There’s not much to say about Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen at this point, other than the fact that Jones will be tying Tito Ortiz’s record for light-heavyweight title defenses (5) tonight, and Danga has already written Chael’s retirement rap. Luckily, UFC 159 features some legitimate fights as well, from Jim Miller meeting his taller, skinner doppelganger, to Roy Nelson meeting his polar opposite. Plus: Michael Bisping faces off against some retard from Mississippi (his words, not ours!), and Vinny Magalhaes tangles with Phil Davis.

Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.

(Photo by Esther Lin | FCFighter.com)

For as long as he’s been short, chubby and kicking ass in the heavyweight division (approximately, since forever since), fans, pundits and Daniel Cormier himself have openly discussed the possibility of his dropping down a weight class to light heavyweight. DC is fresh off a dominating win over yet another former UFC heavyweight champion in Frank Mir at the UFC on Fox 7 event but the organization’s President, Dana White, says that he’d rather see the two-time Olympian at light heavyweight.

And, oh yeah, if Cormier does decide to cut back on the deep-fried burritos a tad and drop down to 205 pounds, White says that his first fight in the division could very well be for the belt. So, you know, against Chael Sonnen.

“He could drop to 205 and get a shot at the title in my opinion, on day one,” White told a group of assembled media earlier this week in New York. “Look at the guys he’s beat at heavyweight.”

Cormier has recently weighed in for fights in the 230′s. Aside from the fact that he’s got the height of a lightweight, 230 pounds is actually light in the strange, modern world of gigantic super athletes that we live in.

Frank Mir looked like he could have been Cormier’s daddy when they took the center of the cage last week. That is, until Cormier got his hands on his much larger opponent and made him look like a heavily tattooed read-headed step child.

There’s the rub. Cormier has a tiny frame for heavyweight but he so far has found no one that can touch him, including Mir, fellow former UFC heavyweight champion Josh Barnett and current number one contender Antonio Silva.

So, why should the wrestler-turned-fighter try and fix something that ain’t broke? Also, it is well-documented that Cormier missed out on actually wrestling at the 2004 Olympic games despite being the U.S. team’s captain and being favored to medal, because he nearly killed himself trying to cut weight.

The “Wake up and Grind” warrior is doing well at heavyweight, so why should he risk his life cutting down? Thing is, there’s no real reason to believe he’d have to risk his health to cut down to light heavyweight.

(“Each of us has the same quantity of the most precious commodity in the world… time. Except for you, Jon Jones, you’ve only got a few more hours left on the ticker than Daniel Cormier’s nutritionist.” I’m Pic Props: BleacherReport.com/MMA)

By Jason Moles

Since August 2012, Chael P. Sonnen has been pining for a fight with Jon Jones. In that time, Sonnen named a pizza after the UFC light heavyweight champion, wrote him a poem, and rendered masterful performances of his soliloquies at every turn along the way.

Considering we live in a tech-crazed world, it’s no surprise that the beef between the two UFC standouts spilled over into social media. Because Twitter was invented with MMA in mind, it was the perfect place for this feud to play out, with hundreds of thousands of fans hanging on every word. It is there that the “bad guy” ratcheted up the intensity of his verbal assault on Jones, moving from his running commentary on the young champ’s latest headlines to putting “Bones’” title reign on the clock. Here’s what the countdown looks like, via @SonnenCH:

30 – the days left until the fall of your champion and the rise of the DARKSIDE #UFC159 #4/27/13

29 – the year AD in which King Dionysius died and was succeed by Spartacus. 29 days and I too take what is rightfully mine #UFC159 #4/27/13

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Now that we’ve told you what to think about tomorrow night’s fights, it’s time to watch the competitors hit the scale, and laugh at them if anybody misses weight. Will Michael Bisping angrily point at Alan Belcher while swearing at him? (Yes.) Will Chael Sonnen leave Bones hanging again? (Probably not.) Does Sara McMann need a Band-Aid? (Wait for it.) Because her abs are friggin’ cut. (BOOM.) Watch the UFC 159 weigh-in action in the player above starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT, and take a peek after the jump for full results, which will be updated immediately afterwards.

(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

(Despite what your grandmother thinks, Twitter is not a euphemism and does not warrant a squirt of Dawn in your mouth.)

By Jason Moles

Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ‘em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…

twitter.com/sonnench

Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”

If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.

Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #UFC159 #4/27/13″

(And just like that, the inspiration for Mean Street Hair Care & Boutique was born.) 

For a dead man walking, Chael Sonnen sure seems to be enjoying the hell out of his final days on death row. The UFC’s favorite hypeman appeared on ESPN’s flagship program, Sportscenter, just hours ago to plug his upcoming public execution at UFC 159 and appeared to be channeling the great Bobby Knight during his brief interview, leaving Sportscenter anchor (and all around fox) Sage Steele grasping at straws in attempt to steer things in any other direction but that of a complete farce. She tried, dammit.

The segment began in typical Sonnen-fashion – interrupting/patronizing the interviewer, throwing a couple WWE-esque threats at Jones, arms, charms, rinse, repeat — but quickly took a turn for what people in the television industry refer to as “What-the-fucks-ville” after Sonnen promised to put Bones “on his ass” on live television. Sure, it was a pretty mild offense given the current spectrum of television, but the remark incurred the subtle wrath of Steele nonetheless. But if there’s one thing Chael P. Sonnen doesn’t understand, it’s subtlety. And being that Chael is mere days away from being beaten into a coma at best, he figured he might as well check off one last item from his bucket list: feeling an African American woman’s hair. It was a weird moment for everyone involved.

Video after the jump. 

(I’ll never let go, Lyoto. I’ll never let go…)

We’re of two minds about the latest interview snippet from Lyoto Machida’s manager, Jorge Guimaraes, in which he all but sealed the door on the potential of a Machida/Alexander Gustafsson fight following the Swede’s call out of Machida some weeks ago. On one hand, Machida was promised a title shot with a win over Dan Henderson at UFC 157, and to his credit, he was able to do so (albeit in rather tepid fashion). On the other hand, Dana White then promised Gustafsson a title shot with a win over Gegard Mousasi before that all fell apart.

But on the third hand, Machida was offered a shot against Jon Jones on short notice at UFC 152, then turned the goddamn thing down. Throw in the fact that Jones already choked Machida unconscious at UFC 140 and couldn’t care less if he ever fought Machida again, and it would appear that the Brazilian isn’t exactly in the position to be making demands. Regardless, Guimaraes told Lancenet that Machida would prefer to sit on the sidelines until this whole Jones/Sonnen nonsense is finished (translation via FightersOnly):

Lyoto is on stand-by list waiting for the winner of Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen. I think it is almost impossible for Chael to win this bout, but anything may happen. A fight is a fight, but it has already been scheduled, there’s no history about it.

Lyoto is the number one contender and he is only waiting to see who is going to be the winner of this fight. He is not convinced about Jones…he is not convinced from that loss.

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(Props: fueltv via MMAConvert)

Going head-to-head against UFC promo king Chael Sonnen would be a tall order for anybody — but you’d think that Jon Jones would at least try to make it competitive. In case you missed it, here’s Jon and Chael’s interview segment from the TUF 17 Finale broadcast, in which Jones acts like a 15-year-old whose weed stash was just discovered by his stepdad. The first words out of Jones’s mouth are a slurred jumble of Ortizian proportions. He can’t stop swinging his arms. He won’t make direct eye contact. He refuses to address Sonnen — who continues his carnival-barking, undeterred — even though this segment was specifically arranged to generate interest in their UFC 159 fight in two weeks. As David Letterman might say, “Jon, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.”

This clip unfortunately leaves off the very end, in which Jones sulks off stage left at his first opportunity, while Sonnen remains standing next to Jon Anik; Jones may still be the light-heavyweight ruler of the Octagon, but Sonnen has rightfully claimed his territory in front of the camera. We’ll give Jon the benefit of the doubt and say he was trying to come off as intensely focused, instead of bored, or pissed off, or half-drunk. Either way, it was a missed opportunity to spark some more fan-interest in a fight that is completely uninteresting from a competitive standpoint. That’s no way to get some fans, bro.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The extended trailer to UFC 159 is an interesting case study. On one hand, it reminds us that at the very least, watching Jon Jones defend his belt against Chael Sonnen will be an entertaining experience. And that’s important, considering the match was seemingly made only with entertainment value in mind. As a light-heavyweight title contender, Sonnen is about as undeserving as it gets, but according to UFC president Dana White (as quoted in the video by Jones), the fans really want this fight. Now, we all know that’s bullshit; I don’t think anybody reacted to the Jones/Sonnen booking with anything other than utter bafflement. Still, it’s a fun fight, right? Right?

Here’s the problem: The UFC 159 video preview does nothing to suggest that the fight will actually be competitive. In fact, it gives more credence to the theory that Jones vs. Sonnen will be a total blowout. Did you know that Jon Jones has never been taken down in his UFC career? (Meaning, Sonnen will have a very tough time executing his only real pathway to victory, even if he is the self-proclaimed “best MMA wrestler in the world.”) Another fun fact: Jon Jones owns the most submission victories in the history of the UFC light-heavyweight division, while Sonnen has already been submitted four times in the Octagon. I mean, besides his takedowns and his trash-talk, tapping out is one of the main things that Chael is known for. As Bones puts it:

(Video courtesy of Hulu.) 

Apologies in advance for dropping the ball on last week’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Jones vs. Sonnen, which we completely forgot to recap for reasons that are not immediately obvious (if only we could get Danga to set down the bong for like thirty seconds…). Long story short: Chael Sonnen emerged victorious from a Coaches Challenge that involved stacking tires with excavators (?) and Team Jones’ Dylan Andrews secured a spot in the quarterfinals with a majority decision victory over Zak Cummings. For this week’s “Wild Card” matchup, Team Jones’ Bubba McDaniel and Team Sonnen’s Kevin Casey were selected.

To find out which fighter secured the final spot in the TUF 17 bracket, as well as the rest of last night’s highlights, join us after the jump.

- In a final effort to make us sympathize with noted codpiece Bubba McDaniel, last night’s episode began with McDaniel telling us his “I’m a poor little sad sack” story about how he can’t see his daughter because he is too far in debt.

I don’t know why I just downplayed a story as sad as that for laughs, and I apologize. God I’m dead inside…

(Video courtesy of Hulu.) 

Last week, Team Jones was able to chalk up victory #2 after an injured Josh Samman blistered Swede Tor Troeng. With control finally back in their corner, Jon Jones decided to place his #1 pick, boxer Clint Hester, against Team Sonnen’s most decorated grappler in former police officer Jimmy Quinlan. It was a matchup that completely baffled Chael Sonnen, but will Jones’ unorthodox strategy pay off this time? Check out last night’s episode in full above and join us below for all the highlights.

- To kick things off this week, the house is treated to an ever-so-rare night on the town at a local Hooters establishment. Hooters: Our wings might taste like dirty bath water, but hey, tits! Fives are highed. Waitresses are groped. Gilbert Smith repeatedly finds ways to take his clothing off. And by the end of the night, Uriah Hall somehow manages to alienate himself from everyone even further. Collin Hart states his distaste for Hall’s attitude and hope he gets the chance to smash him.

- Hall admits that he hasn’t been sleeping well lately because his desire to nearly decapitate another housemate is eating away at him. You sure you still want a piece of this guy, Collin? Anyway, Sonnen’s assistant coach, Scott McQuary, tries to offer some zen-like wisdom to calm Uriah down. “A non-quiet mind is like a tractor,” he says, “You just can’t stop it.” Not sure which model of John Deere Scott’s used to plowing the fields with, but I’m pretty sure that the worst thing a tractor can do is give you gonorrhea.

Following his shocking upset loss to Kelvin Gastelum last week, Bubba McDaniel emerged a much humbler man in the opening moments of yesterday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Jones vs. Sonnen. With Team Sonnen now back in control of the fight selections, this week’s matchup pitted highly-touted Swede Tor Troeng against Team Jones’ #2 pick and self-appointed captain Josh Samman. Was Samman able to overcome his nagging injuries and regain control for Team Jones, or did Troeng notch “another on for the bad guys?” Check out the entirety of last night’s episode above and join us after the jump for a full recap to find out.

- The episode kicks off with Jimmy Quinlan constructing a hammer for Tor (pronounced Thor. GET IT?). Although the prototype is laughably undersized, Quinlan showcases some MacGuyver-esque resourcefulness when building Troeng a life-sized model. If Josh Samman turns out to be less a human fighter and more a mole in need of whacking, he is pretty much screwed now.

(“Then it’s settled: I’ll win the first fight, you’ll win the rematch, and Chael will win the rubber-match via surprise run-in after blinding the referee.”)

During our typical mid-afternoon routine of checking out Brazilian porn sites sport sites and using Google translate to help us out with comprehension — some Brazilian things don’t need translation, but some do — we stumbled across the latest vague and too-good-to-be-true Anderson Silva fight news. Recently, we had a tease about Silva finally fighting the rightful number one contender to his belt, and yesterday we read that, according to “The Spider,” he wants to face UFC light heavyweight champ Jon Jones this year.

SportTV says that last Wednesday Anderson told a bunch of Brazilian cats that he expects to fight Jones this year in New York City but that the bout would need to be a non-title, catch-weight affair. Apparently, fighting James Irvin, Stephan Bonnar, and former champ Forrest Griffin at light-heavyweight is one thing, but fighting the biggest and best talent we’ve ever seen in the division at 205 is another.

Given that nothing appears to be signed and that Jones has the small matter of defending his belt first against wronged pizza baron Chael Sonnen this spring, we can’t get too excited about this development. Still, Anderson’s reported comments paint him as perhaps more amenable to a fight against Jones than he has ever been before.

As one could tell from the opening moments of The Ultimate Fighter 17 premiere a couple weeks back, some drastic improvements have been made to the long neglected reality show. The sleek production, the lack of fabricated drama, the fight quality — nearly everything audiences were demanding over the past few seasons seems to have improved for the time being and has been reflected in the show’s much improved ratings.

And tonight’s episode, featuring a showdown between the highly touted Uriah Hall (Team Sonnen) and the all but completely overlooked Adam Cella (Team Jones), promises to deliver not only one of the most violent KO’s in the show’s history, but in the history of the sport. That is according to noted TUF hypeman and occasional UFC president Dana White, of course.

So in order to do a little TUF-hyping of our own (I know right? WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!), we’ve thrown a preview of tonight’s episode above for you all to check out. And indeed, if the audience’s reaction is any indication, then someone is going down in a big way during the night’s main event. Unfortunately for you spoilerphobes, if you freeze frame the video around the 45 second mark, you can see that the fighter strapped to the stretcher appears to be of the African American persuasion. A bit of intentional misleading by the TUF production team, or a massive upset in the making? And more importantly, how many of you Taters will be tuning in to find out?

After the jump: A little more video hype, featuring a sneak peak of Ronda Rousey’s special on Real Sports, which airs February 19th on HBO. Liz Carmouche’s special, on the other hand, will be airing tonight on Lifetime After Dark in the form of a 30-second trailer during the network’s coveted 3 a.m. spot. We kid, we kid; Liz didn’t get a special.

(It’s good to be king)

Here at CagePotato, if we’re going to take the time to put together a rankings or list, it’s probably going to be one like this one. That doesn’t mean, however, that we’re opposed to taking part in others’ rankings. Take, for example, the Yahoo! Sports Top 10 MMA Pound for Pound Rankings, the voting for which is done by a panel that includes many luminaries of the MMA journalism community and also, for some unknown reason, me.

The latest Yahoo! Sports Top 10 list was released this week (panel voting and publication of the rankings are done monthly) and there are some familiar faces as well as some changes. Anderson Silva maintained his long-time top spot, followed by Jon Jones and then Georges St. Pierre in the number three spot.

Cain Velasquez made it back on to the list after beating Junior Dos Santos in their recent return bout. A number of notable fighters were not eligible for the list because of inactivity (Dominick Cruz, Alistair Overeem) and suspension (Nick Diaz, Overeem again).

Jose Aldo was eligible because he is fighting so close to the end of voting, and he took the number four spot. The rankings may soon get shaken up again after tonight’s UFC 156.

Frankie Edgar drops down to featherweight to try and take out Aldo. Would Aldo get a bump in the rankings by beating a former lightweight champ? Would Edgar skyrocket in the rankings if were to win a championship in a second weight class?

Also, will Overeem justify the media’s crush on him with an impressive fight against BigFoot that will propel him into the Top 10? Check out the full rankings Top 10 after the jump and then let us know your Top 10 in the comments section.

You’d think that Jon Jones would understand the importance of having a tremendous reach advantage, considering it’s one of the key elements of his own success in the UFC. But I’ve already said too much. Read on for our quick breakdown of the best and worst moments from last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 17: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen, which produced the season’s first middleweight quarterfinalist.

The Good
- The sheer glee on the faces of the castmembers as they enter the TUF mansion for the first time, especially the ones who are used to living a much more humble lifestyle. Not a single one of them goes straight to the booze closet and starts breaking shit. Luke Barnatt is just thankful for six weeks of free food. The house is “astronomically extraordinary,” according to Gilbert Smith. Enjoy it guys, because that beautiful house will soon become…YOUR PRISON.

- Sonnen wearing wind-pants to every appearance in the gym — gotta love it — and the familiar faces among the assistant coaching staff, including Frank Mir (Team Jones), Vinny Magalhaes (Team Sonnen) and Mike Dolce (Team Sonnen).

- Uriah Hall telling Sonnen he wants to fight the best guys in the house, after Sonnen makes it known that he’d like Hall to get an easy road to the finals. Hall’s attitude is a refreshing contrast to Bubba McDaniel, who is fixated on getting the matchups that would give him the best chance of advancing in the tournament, and spends the first half of the episode lamenting how the Smith vs. Barnatt selection puts Team Jones at risk for losing control of the picks.

“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*

Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.

Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.