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Tag: Jon Jones

UFC 159 Weigh-Ins: Live Video and Results, Starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Now that we’ve told you what to think about tomorrow night’s fights, it’s time to watch the competitors hit the scale, and laugh at them if anybody misses weight. Will Michael Bisping angrily point at Alan Belcher while swearing at him? (Yes.) Will Chael Sonnen leave Bones hanging again? (Probably not.) Does Sara McMann need a Band-Aid? (Wait for it.) Because her abs are friggin’ cut. (BOOM.) Watch the UFC 159 weigh-in action in the player above starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT, and take a peek after the jump for full results, which will be updated immediately afterwards.

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Ben vs. Jared: UFC 159 Edition


(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG:
 I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen’ Edition


(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

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The 25 Most Essential MMA Twitter Feeds: 2013 Edition


(Despite what your grandmother thinks, Twitter is not a euphemism and does not warrant a squirt of Dawn in your mouth.)

By Jason Moles

Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ‘em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…

twitter.com/sonnench

Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”

If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.

Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #4/27/13″

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Chael Sonnen’s WWE Shtick Now Includes Swearing on Sportscenter and Feeling Up Their Anchors [VIDEO]


(And just like that, the inspiration for Mean Street Hair Care & Boutique was born.) 

For a dead man walking, Chael Sonnen sure seems to be enjoying the hell out of his final days on death row. The UFC’s favorite hypeman appeared on ESPN’s flagship program, Sportscenter, just hours ago to plug his upcoming public execution at UFC 159 and appeared to be channeling the great Bobby Knight during his brief interview, leaving Sportscenter anchor (and all around fox) Sage Steele grasping at straws in attempt to steer things in any other direction but that of a complete farce. She tried, dammit.

The segment began in typical Sonnen-fashion – interrupting/patronizing the interviewer, throwing a couple WWE-esque threats at Jones, arms, charms, rinse, repeat — but quickly took a turn for what people in the television industry refer to as “What-the-fucks-ville” after Sonnen promised to put Bones “on his ass” on live television. Sure, it was a pretty mild offense given the current spectrum of television, but the remark incurred the subtle wrath of Steele nonetheless. But if there’s one thing Chael P. Sonnen doesn’t understand, it’s subtlety. And being that Chael is mere days away from being beaten into a coma at best, he figured he might as well check off one last item from his bucket list: feeling an African American woman’s hair. It was a weird moment for everyone involved.

Video after the jump. 

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Quote of the Day: “It Doesn’t Make Sense” for Lyoto Machida to Fight Alexander Gustafsson


(I’ll never let go, Lyoto. I’ll never let go…)

We’re of two minds about the latest interview snippet from Lyoto Machida’s manager, Jorge Guimaraes, in which he all but sealed the door on the potential of a Machida/Alexander Gustafsson fight following the Swede’s call out of Machida some weeks ago. On one hand, Machida was promised a title shot with a win over Dan Henderson at UFC 157, and to his credit, he was able to do so (albeit in rather tepid fashion). On the other hand, Dana White then promised Gustafsson a title shot with a win over Gegard Mousasi before that all fell apart.

But on the third hand, Machida was offered a shot against Jon Jones on short notice at UFC 152, then turned the goddamn thing down. Throw in the fact that Jones already choked Machida unconscious at UFC 140 and couldn’t care less if he ever fought Machida again, and it would appear that the Brazilian isn’t exactly in the position to be making demands. Regardless, Guimaraes told Lancenet that Machida would prefer to sit on the sidelines until this whole Jones/Sonnen nonsense is finished (translation via FightersOnly):

Lyoto is on stand-by list waiting for the winner of Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen. I think it is almost impossible for Chael to win this bout, but anything may happen. A fight is a fight, but it has already been scheduled, there’s no history about it.

Lyoto is the number one contender and he is only waiting to see who is going to be the winner of this fight. He is not convinced about Jones…he is not convinced from that loss.

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Video: Jon Jones Goes Into Angsty Teenager Mode During Botched Interview Segment at TUF 17 Finale


(Props: fueltv via MMAConvert)

Going head-to-head against UFC promo king Chael Sonnen would be a tall order for anybody — but you’d think that Jon Jones would at least try to make it competitive. In case you missed it, here’s Jon and Chael’s interview segment from the TUF 17 Finale broadcast, in which Jones acts like a 15-year-old whose weed stash was just discovered by his stepdad. The first words out of Jones’s mouth are a slurred jumble of Ortizian proportions. He can’t stop swinging his arms. He won’t make direct eye contact. He refuses to address Sonnen — who continues his carnival-barking, undeterred — even though this segment was specifically arranged to generate interest in their UFC 159 fight in two weeks. As David Letterman might say, “Jon, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.”

This clip unfortunately leaves off the very end, in which Jones sulks off stage left at his first opportunity, while Sonnen remains standing next to Jon Anik; Jones may still be the light-heavyweight ruler of the Octagon, but Sonnen has rightfully claimed his territory in front of the camera. We’ll give Jon the benefit of the doubt and say he was trying to come off as intensely focused, instead of bored, or pissed off, or half-drunk. Either way, it was a missed opportunity to spark some more fan-interest in a fight that is completely uninteresting from a competitive standpoint. That’s no way to get some fans, bro.

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UFC 159 Extended Video Preview: So We’re Really Doing This Jones/Sonnen Thing, Huh?


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The extended trailer to UFC 159 is an interesting case study. On one hand, it reminds us that at the very least, watching Jon Jones defend his belt against Chael Sonnen will be an entertaining experience. And that’s important, considering the match was seemingly made only with entertainment value in mind. As a light-heavyweight title contender, Sonnen is about as undeserving as it gets, but according to UFC president Dana White (as quoted in the video by Jones), the fans really want this fight. Now, we all know that’s bullshit; I don’t think anybody reacted to the Jones/Sonnen booking with anything other than utter bafflement. Still, it’s a fun fight, right? Right?

Here’s the problem: The UFC 159 video preview does nothing to suggest that the fight will actually be competitive. In fact, it gives more credence to the theory that Jones vs. Sonnen will be a total blowout. Did you know that Jon Jones has never been taken down in his UFC career? (Meaning, Sonnen will have a very tough time executing his only real pathway to victory, even if he is the self-proclaimed “best MMA wrestler in the world.”) Another fun fact: Jon Jones owns the most submission victories in the history of the UFC light-heavyweight division, while Sonnen has already been submitted four times in the Octagon. I mean, besides his takedowns and his trash-talk, tapping out is one of the main things that Chael is known for. As Bones puts it:

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‘The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen’ Episode 9 — Complete Video & Recap


(Video courtesy of Hulu.) 

Apologies in advance for dropping the ball on last week’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Jones vs. Sonnen, which we completely forgot to recap for reasons that are not immediately obvious (if only we could get Danga to set down the bong for like thirty seconds…). Long story short: Chael Sonnen emerged victorious from a Coaches Challenge that involved stacking tires with excavators (?) and Team Jones’ Dylan Andrews secured a spot in the quarterfinals with a majority decision victory over Zak Cummings. For this week’s “Wild Card” matchup, Team Jones’ Bubba McDaniel and Team Sonnen’s Kevin Casey were selected.

To find out which fighter secured the final spot in the TUF 17 bracket, as well as the rest of last night’s highlights, join us after the jump.

- In a final effort to make us sympathize with noted codpiece Bubba McDaniel, last night’s episode began with McDaniel telling us his “I’m a poor little sad sack” story about how he can’t see his daughter because he is too far in debt.

I don’t know why I just downplayed a story as sad as that for laughs, and I apologize. God I’m dead inside…

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‘The Ultimate Fighter 17: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen’ Episode 7 — Complete Video & Recap


(Video courtesy of Hulu.) 

Last week, Team Jones was able to chalk up victory #2 after an injured Josh Samman blistered Swede Tor Troeng. With control finally back in their corner, Jon Jones decided to place his #1 pick, boxer Clint Hester, against Team Sonnen’s most decorated grappler in former police officer Jimmy Quinlan. It was a matchup that completely baffled Chael Sonnen, but will Jones’ unorthodox strategy pay off this time? Check out last night’s episode in full above and join us below for all the highlights.

- To kick things off this week, the house is treated to an ever-so-rare night on the town at a local Hooters establishment. Hooters: Our wings might taste like dirty bath water, but hey, tits! Fives are highed. Waitresses are groped. Gilbert Smith repeatedly finds ways to take his clothing off. And by the end of the night, Uriah Hall somehow manages to alienate himself from everyone even further. Collin Hart states his distaste for Hall’s attitude and hope he gets the chance to smash him.

- Hall admits that he hasn’t been sleeping well lately because his desire to nearly decapitate another housemate is eating away at him. You sure you still want a piece of this guy, Collin? Anyway, Sonnen’s assistant coach, Scott McQuary, tries to offer some zen-like wisdom to calm Uriah down. “A non-quiet mind is like a tractor,” he says, “You just can’t stop it.” Not sure which model of John Deere Scott’s used to plowing the fields with, but I’m pretty sure that the worst thing a tractor can do is give you gonorrhea.

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