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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Jon Jones

Tweets of the Day: If You Don’t Believe Dana White Can Set Up Jon Jones vs. Anderson Silva, You’re a ‘Dummy’


(Sorry guys, but this shitty Photoshop is as close as we’ll get to seeing these two face off. / Image via MMAMania)

Considering how many times Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have told us that they’ll never fight each other, most reasonable people would have given up hope on that particular fantasy-match by now. Of course, UFC president Dana White is not exactly known for being reasonable. Asked by a fan on Twitter yesterday if Jones vs. Silva would ever happen, Dana replied “it will.”

That simple phrase — seemingly based on nothing other than his own desire to promote the fight, and his long-standing belief that any fighter can be convinced to do anything if you put enough money in front of them — resulted in a predictable firestorm on twitter. There were the gullible UFC-marks who expressed their excitement for the match as if it was already booked, and the detractors who questioned if Dana could actually put it together.

Props to Reddit/MMA for capturing part of the ensuing tantrum…

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Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

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Dana White Strikes Deal With Jon Jones: No More Talking S#%t About Greg Jackson


(White pictured with his crossed fingers out of the frame)

UFC President Dana White does not like MMA trainer Greg Jackson. At all.

He’s also been vocal and degrading in expressing his distaste for the New Mexico coach over the years. From blaming Jackson for fighters’ performances that were less than titillating to White to, more recently, calling Jackson a “sport killer” after his charge Jon Jones turned down a last minute replacement fight with Chael Sonnen at UFC 151, Uncle Dana routinely blasts Jackson.

Those days are over, though, according to White. After yesterday’s UFC on FX event White told assembled media that during a meeting with Jones prior to his title defense before UFC 152, President and Champion struck a deal wherein White would stop insulting Jackson and his camp.

“I sat down with Jon Jones and we talked, I made a deal with Jon,” White said. “I’m not going to say anything about Greg Jackson [anymore].”

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Point/Counterpoint: “Playing the Game” and Whether Selective Enforcement of the Rules is Good for MMA


(“No, God Damn it, we’re on the Y part of the song, not the A! Have you guys even heard The Village People before?!”

We’re only three weeks into the NFL regular season, yet fans all over the country have become infuriated with the league over the blown calls and inconsistency of the replacement referees who have been officiating games during the referee lockout. The fact that last night’s Seahawks vs. Packers game was literally decided by the poor interpretation of the league’s simultaneous catch rule has been the focus of water cooler discussions all over the country – even here. Yet this inconsistency is hardly unique to the replacement referees, or even professional football. As MMA fans, we see this all the time.

Case in point: During the main event of Saturday’s UFC 152, Vitor Belfort threw a kick at the head of a “downed” Jon Jones. Despite this being against the rules, ”Big” John McCarthy simply said to Jon Jones “You wanted to play the game.” Is this selective enforcement of the rules good for our sport? Today George Shunick and Seth Falvo will make the arguments for and against this practice.

The Argument For, by George Shunick:

Let’s get this out of the way; the phrase “you’re playing the game” stems from a fundamental dissonance in the Unified Rules of professional Mixed Martial Arts. Namely, that stomps, soccer kicks and knees to the head of a downed opponent are maneuvers that should be allowed in accordance with the philosophy of the sport, but can’t due to certain political realities and, arguably, health and safety concerns. So certain situations arise, like Vitor Belfort throwing a head kick at a crouching Jon Jones, which defy the rules, but not the spirit of them.

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Armchair Matchmaker: UFC 152 Edition


(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)

It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?

Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”

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Despite What “Rampage” Jackson Says, Linear Knee Strikes Are Much Ado About Nothing


(Who knew keeping your back against the cage was effective defense? This kept Vitor’s knee from ending up like Willis McGahee. Pic Props:Ryan Kightlinger)

By Jason Moles

Yesterday on The MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani, your all too friendly, neighborhood reporter-humping, cage fighter made an appearance. And, as per usual, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson left the MMA world with a lot to talk about after withdrawing from UFC 153 and using TRT to trading verbal jabs and “F*ck you!”‘s with former TUF 10 contestant, Matt Mitrione. What was more notable from the interview was Jackson’s criticism of light heavyweight champion Jon Jones and his dirty, dirty knee kicks.

Vitor took the fight on short notice, and this is how you respect him, by kicking his knee backwards and stuff like that? He’s supposed to be a man of God. You can injure somebody, you can sever their career. You can mess people up for life kicking their knee back like that and he does it repeatedly, over and over. To me that has no honor. I take a lot of honor in fighting. He has no honor.

The former Pride and UFC champion went on to question why the athletic commission even allow “stuff like that” to be legal, arguing that if Jones keeps fighting dirty like this, he’ll put everyone on the shelf and won’t have anyone left to fight. As it would turn out, he’s not alone. TheScore.com’s Adam Martin took to twitter to voice his displeasure of the use of linear kicks to the knee as well and reminded his followers that the CSAC already bans the technique.

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[VIDEO] Ed O’Neill a.k.a. Al Bundy and The Gracies Breakdown Vitor Belfort’s “Nearacle” Armbar


(O’Neill, seen here earning his brown belt the hard way.)

Until Ron Swanson graced the small screen with his mustachioed, government busting, breakfast food-loving presence, Al Bundy was considered to be far and away the manliest man ever created in the history of television, bar none. Perhaps in an attempt to live up to his character’s Polk High legendary athlete status, portraying actor Ed O’Neill took up BJJ some 22 years ago and received his black belt under Rorion Gracie in 2007. An avid MMA fan, we’ve seen O’Neill talk shop with such legends as Chuck Liddell on Fox Sports’ Barfly, but recently, he decided to join Ryron and Rener Gracie for one of their infamous Gracie Breakdowns to discuss and demonstrate Vitor Belfort’s near miracle (or the shortened “nearacle” as we’ve dubbed it) armbar of Jon Jones in the first round of their fight at UFC 152.

And we gotta say, Bundy O’Neill definitely knows his stuff. His assertion that Jones may actually welcome wrist control from the guard as a way of setting up an elbow strike is an incredibly astute observation to make and one I hadn’t personally considered when dissecting Jones’ game, so a kudos is in order for the Emmy-nominated star of Modern Family. Although Vitor has admitted to easing off the armbar when he heard Jones’ arm pop, the Gracies believe that had Jones not attempted to slam his way out of the armbar, Belfort would have never even come close to pulling it off in the first place. We know Jones claimed that he needed to embrace his Jiu-Jitsu a little more after the fight, and perhaps moments like this confirm that, but the fact that the champ was able to submit a black belt like Belfort with a picture perfect Americana shows that he surely knows a thing or two about the ground game when he needs to.

Check out the full video, which also breaks down Jones’ fight-winning Americana, after the jump.

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UFC 152 Injury Report: Jon Jones Says He May Have Nerve Damage From Belfort Armbar


(A slung-up Jon Jones shares a friendly rape-choke with a companion following UFC 152. Photo via GracieMag)

It sure looked as if Vitor Belfort managed to injure Jon Jones during their light-heavyweight title bout on Saturday night at UFC 152, when he latched onto Bones’ right arm with an armbar early in the first round. Despite having his limb dangerously hyper extended, Jones gritted through it, fought on, and eventually won with his own armlock in the fourth round.

After the fight Jones was in obvious discomfort, holding his right elbow as Joe Rogan interviewed him. Sure enough, the champ showed up late to the post-event press conference with his arm in a sling, saying that doctors had told him he might have nerve damage as a result of Belfort’s arm bar.

Jones was planning to head to a hospital after the presser to receive X-rays on his arm. No official word has been released from the UFC or Jones’s camp since Saturday night, but nerve damage in his arm would certainly be serious enough to sideline the champ for some time, to say nothing of any possible bone breaks or tendon or ligament injuries he may have sustained.

As he told reporters at the UFC 152 press conference, Jones thought that Belfort was going to break the arm and get the win in the first round, before Jones miraculously escaped. “It was popping, and I felt after 25 years that I’ve never felt that feeling before. I just came to terms with what was going to happen, just thinking, ‘Man, I can’t believe I’m getting ready to lose this way,’” he said.

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UFC 152: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly


(I kept telling the bouncers that I was over 21; I even showed them my ID and told them that it was *my* afterparty that they were bouncing, yet this happens once again…) 

After enduring the longest card free drought in nearly two years, the UFC returned to action last Saturday, delivering an event that was thoroughly satisfying from top-to-bottom, unless you happened to be in the small minority of people who wished ill upon either Michael Bisping or Jon Jones, that is. But as is the case with most UFC events, the evening was not without its share of ups and downs, so join us as we take take off our fanboy pants, pull our analrapist stockings over our heads, and take a look back at the event that was…

The Good:

Seth Baczynski’s Second Tour of Duty: One of the more improbable, if not unknown, comeback stories currently circulating the MMA world, the story of “The Polish Pistola’s” second octagon run has seen him score submission victories over TUF 13 alum Clay Harvison, TUF 7 alum Matt Brown, and earn a split decision victory over Lance Benoist. His beautiful knockout of Simeon Thoreson this past weekend should have easily earned him the KOTN award, but we imagine that Baczynski will be happy enough knowing that he has more than earned a shot at some stiffer competition — and considering his finishing rate, a main card spot — in the near future.

Vinny Magalhaes‘ Second Tour of Duty: While we’re on the subject of TUF alums kicking major ass their second time around, we can’t overlook TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes, who clearly packed some of his M-1 swagger for his return to the big show (figuratively speaking, of course). Granted, it makes your job a hell of a lot easier when your opponent decides to play directly into your strengths, but for now, we’ll just congratulate Vinny on a sweet finish and a successful return.

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UFC 152 GIF Party: The Armbar That Almost Shocked the World, The Knockout of the Night + More


(Oh man. That kick was about six inches away from being the greatest DQ of all time.)

In case you missed Saturday night’s action, we’ve compiled 12 of UFC 152‘s best highlights in GIF form, from the gnarly stoppages to the memorable post-fight moments. Follow the “next page” links starting after the jump, or just use the direct links below. Special thanks to BloodyElbow and Cameldog for the hookups.

Jon Jones vs. Vitor Belfort
Cub Swanson vs. Charles Oliveira
Vinny Magalhães vs. Igor Pokrajac
Intermission: Ronda and Royce
Michael Bisping vs. Brian Stann
TJ Grant vs. Evan Dunham
Matt Hamill’s corner mix-up
Kyle Noke vs. Charlie Brenneman
Seth Baczynski vs. Simeon Thoresen

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