10 Struggling MMA Fighters That Will Bounce Back

Tag: Jon Koppenhaver

War Machine to Make Bellator Debut on June 19th, Unless Something Crazy Happens


(They can put you behind bars. They can fire you for being an idiot. But damn it, they’ll never take your sense of joy.)

On June 19th, War Machine (formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver) will finally make his Bellator debut, when he faces WEC veteran Blas Avena at Bellator 96. The fight will come four-and-a-half years after the short-fused welterweight was first signed by Bellator back in early 2009. Let’s just say their schedules haven’t matched up since then.

First, Machine was fired by Bellator for suggesting that President Obama — and every president after him — should be assassinated. Then, he embarked on a brief but rewarding career in porn which ended in a punch-up at a birthday party. Then, he spent a year in jail for one of his various assault charges. Then he had to go back to jail for one of his various assault charges, which led to the cancellation of a scheduled fight against Karl Amoussou. Then, he had to pull out of his next scheduled fight against Paul Daley due to a partially torn ACL, which pretty much takes us to the present day.

Now that War Machine is all healed up, he’ll allegedly be making his Bellator debut on the promotion’s 2013 Summer Series premiere on Spike TV, assuming he doesn’t beat up another civilian, or sustain another training injury, or get cut again for simply expressing his honest thoughts. Machine hasn’t competed since his TKO win over Roger Huerta in November 2011, while Avena recently snapped a two-year winless streak by TKO’ing Lenny Lovato at Bellator 91 in February.

Can War Machine rebuild his career in the #2 MMA promotion? And what the hell kind of name is “Blas,” anyway?

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War Machine’s Big House Blog Fans Rejoice; Jon Koppenhaver Is Headed Back to Jail for a Year


(Covering up that neck tattoo before going to court would have been a good idea.)

If you’ve been missing War Machine’s acclaimed Big House Blogs, you’re probably the only group that is going to be happy about this news.

According to the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver, he has been sentenced to another year in jail in Las Vegas for an old charge, forcing him to withdraw from Bellator’s season six welterweight tournament that gets underway in March. He indicated on Twitter that he will begin serving his sentence in two weeks and that, as per usual, he isn’t happy with the system.

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War Machine Explains Himself


(“I call this sub ‘The Prison Rape.’”

War Machine is out of jail which is sad for us fans of his Big House Blogs, but on the bright side we’ll be reading a lot more interviews from the man formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver.

USCombatSports.com snagged War’s first post-prison interview and let’s just say that it didn’t disappoint.

Check out some of the highlights after the jump.

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And So It Ends: War Machine’s Last Big House Blog…At Least for Now


(Video courtesy of YouTube/WEEZER)

It’s a bittersweet week for both fans of War Machine and fans of War Machine’s Big House Blogs. The fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver is set to be released from jail on Friday, which means the only blogs we’re going to get from here on out (unless of course he ends back in the clink) will be about his training regimens, his married life and thoughts on the world. Something tells me that being behind bars contributed to how deranged some of his deep thoughts were the past year and it’s likely that being on the outside will change all that.

Let’s hope I’m dead wrong.

Until he proves me wrong, go ahead and savor your last instalment of War Machine’s Big House Blogs after the jump.

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Instant Bestseller Alert: War Machine is Writing a Book

Our favorite MMA convict, War Machine is a free man in just under a month and when he gets out, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver wants all of us to know that even though his Big House Blogs will cease, he plans on continuing to entertain us with an autobiography he has been penning the past few months behind bars.

You know you’ll read it, especially if he details his short-lived porn career and his multiple brushes with the law.

Check out what he had to say about his tome and his final weeks in jail in his two latest blog entries after the jump.

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War Machine’s Big House Blog # 41: Steroids Are Safe, Bin Laden’s Alive and the Yakuza are Causing Natural Disasters in Asia


(Little known fact: War’s mother’s name is Game Machine.)

War Machine’s latest big house blog is up and according to the incarcerated fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver, pretty much everything we think we know is a lie.

The TUF 6 vet is gearing up for his final few months behind bars in county jail, and as such, has brushing up on his current events in the news. According to the beleaguered fighter, everything that he’s read lately, from Barry Bonds’ steroid trial to Bin Laden’s alleged death  is carefully propagated government bullshit.

Check out the latest instalment of Deep Thoughts with War Machine after the jump.

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War Machine’s Big House Blogs Are All Caught Up and They’re as Crazy as Ever


(There better be a follow-up series of blogs that follow War AFTER he’s released so we can see how disconnected from society he’s become.)

If you’ve been following the trials and tribulations of War Machine in county jail, you know that his friend on the outside who was posting his blogs let them lapse for a while and is now playing catch-up. Well, the blogs are finally up to date and unfortunately for fans of the weekly journals of one of the greatest minds of our generation, the fighter formerly known as Jon Kopenhaver only has 12 weeks remaining on his one-year sentence for assault.

Rather than post the remaining few entries verbatim, we’ve decided to print just the meat and potatoes of the blogs to get you up to date with the shenanigans WM has gotten into the past few weeks.

Check out the highlights after the jump.

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War Machine’s Big House Blogs Just Jumped the Shark, If That’s Even Possible


(War has really grown up in prison.)

We know they say that being in prison can screw with a man’s head and we know it’s hard to believe that War Machine could say, do or write anything stranger than he already has, but let’s just say what you’re about to read will likely make you ask, “What the fuck is wrong with this guy?”

Nothing we can say about his latest big house blog will be any funnier than the tragic comedy-reality of the situation, so go see what kind of wackiness the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver got into recently in solitary.

A word of advice: Don’t read it on your lunch or dinner break at work.

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War Machine’s Big House Blogs Number 21, 22, 23 and 24: Who Says You Need University to Be An Expert on Sociology?

(This is the look that sends cons running for a new cell? Really? PicProps MMAMania)

Well, now that War Machine’s friend on the outside has figured out how to post his blogs again, the jailhouse ramblings of the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver have been coming fast and furiously the past week.

Judging by his references to missing Christmas and to GSP and Danzig winning (they both fought and won at UFC 124) these entries are about four months behind, which makes sense considering that’s when War’s blogs went MIA.

Apparently someone alerted WM about the MMA media’s fascination with his life behind bars and he’s not impressed. If I was a private and upstanding citizen like he is, I’d be pissed too that the media was critical of me

Check out what shenanigans War Machine got into last year after the jump.

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War Machine Big House Blog 13: Guard Beatings, Herpes and Pirates

 
("Maybe if I give myself a black eye nobody will notice.")

I gotta be honest, War Machine’s blogs are starting to seem a bit halfhearted these days.

Maybe we need to get someone on the inside a la Michael Scofield to shake things up a bit. Do we have any unemployed  members of the Potato Nation in San Diego with eight months to spare who are looking to make a few bucks?

I don’t know if I can stand to read about War’s herpes outbreaks and the number of continuous push-ups he can do for the next eight months, so we would make it worth your while.

Here’s the latest, and arguably the most disinterested prison journal entry to date by the fighter once known as "little Jonny Koppenhaver" after the jump.

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War Machine Big House Blogs 11 and 12: Hating on Brock, Hanging with Dana and Killing time in the Clink


(War and his cellmate "Dana White" pose with a fellow inmate at the prison prom.)

Time sure flies when you’re not behind bars.

Here we are already at month four of War Machine’s county jail journey.

It seems like only yesterday, he was on the outside bar brawling and tweeting about his views of the world.

Now he spends his days reading, masturbating and playing scrabble with imaginary incarnations of UFC fighters and personalities.

Without giving away too much from the latest releases from his memoirs, War’s reaction to a victim of suicide he mentions in one of his two latest blogs was a bit off, but what else can be expected from a dude who tweets Dana White that he’s imagining him in his cell just before he rubs one out?

And we thought we were going to have a hard time getting back in The Baldfather’s good books.

Here’s what the new age philosopher formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver got into the past two weeks after the jump:

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War Machine Big House Blogs 9 and 10: Fan Mail, Uniting Nations and Scrabble With Imaginary Fighters


("Instead of another grenade, I just wanted a huge pull-pin on this side to symbolize me blowing my own mind.")

Sometimes we get so caught up in our everyday lives that we forget about life’s little pleasures — like War Machine waxing poetically about the universe and his prison experiences.

It’s sad to say, but I’m almost more interested in reading his blog than I am watching him fight. Chalk it up to my ADHD and my fascination with Machine’s bizarre take on life, but I enjoy reading about his latest exploits behind bars.

In the latest double installment, the little scamp America fell in love with on TUF 6 when he still went by Jon Koppenhaver broaches a number of pressing issues like how he bridged his block’s racial gap, why he got thrown in segregation and couldn’t post last week and how he passes the time playing Scrabble with imaginary versions of past and present UFC fighters.

Nelson Mandela ain’t got nothin’ on War Machine.

Check out War’s latest deep thoughts and shenanigans after the jump.

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War Machine Big House Blog 4&5: Mooches, Masturbation and Sex with a Sandwich


(When War gets his photos done at Sears, he always turns to the side out of habit.)

Apparently most MMA outlets were like us in thinking that since War Machine got sat down by the District Attorney in his case who used his tweets about drugs and booze against him, that the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver was done with Twitter since nobody has written anything about him in a while.

I hadn’t checked out Machine’s page in a while, but it came up as a friend suggestion on my personal account the other day, so I clicked it and was pleasantly surprised that he is back blogging about his exploits in jail.

I’ve got to admit, I was kind of disappointed with the latest edition. I clicked on it expecting to read about how to make a shank out of a toothbrush and instead, I get War talking about how often he masturbates and how he’s thinking of fucking a bologna sandwich. Remind me never so eat lunch with him if I interview him in person after his release (no pun intended).

Maybe it’s because his lawyer is censoring his posts, but last week’s entry seems somewhat subdued.

Here’s what’s going on with War Machine who has only been behind bars one month, which means we only have 48 more of these recaps.

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War Machine Sentenced to One Year in Jail, Three Years Probation; Avoids State Prison


(When you’re name’s War Machine, you’re likely never getting the benefit of the doubt)

Embattled former UFC welterweight War Machine avoided state prison Tuesday, but was sentenced by a judge to serve the remainder of a one-year sentence in county jail, whereupon he will be on probation for three years and will be prohibited from consuming alcohol during that period (so much for drinking toilet wine). The news comes courtesy of NBC San Diego.

Prior to his sentencing yesterday, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver gave the judge a three-page letter pleading his case in which he stated that he has met some bad people in jail and doesn’t want to end up on the same life path as them.

"I’ve made some stupid mistakes in my life,” War Machine told the judge. "I’m not a bad person. I’ve tried the hard way my whole life. It’s not working. I’m done with that."

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Twitter Prison Blogs May Partially Lead to a Stiffer Prison Sentence for War Machine


(War Machine getting ready for the Miss Jail Rat 2010 pageant.)

We were disappointed, though not totally surprised today when we visited War Machine’s Twitter page and found that the beleaguered fighter’s prison blogs had been removed.

We figured it was only a matter of time before prison or court officials got wind of War’s documented exploits behind bars that included drinking prison moonshine and finding a fellow inmate’s fishing line used to share contraband with other cons in his cell block.

Apparently we were right on the money with our estimate that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting in trouble and that his big house blogs would be his undoing.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

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War Machine’s Big House Blog Number Three: Murderers, Moonshine and Mexican Mr. Magoo


("Screw you, society. Jail ain’t so bad after all.")

Considering I also picked Chael Sonnen to win Saturday night, I got an eerily similar empty feeling when I read War Machine’s latest "Big House Blog" and learned that my proclamation that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting into some kind of tomfoolery didn’t come to fruition.

I thought for sure that  alcohol+War Machine = spitbag and handcuffs, but apparently the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver has matured behind bars and instead of scrapping anyone and everyone after consuming his IQ in Jagerbombs, he has taken to sipping his toilet wine while engaging in stimulating conversation with murderous Somalian Muslims.

Who knew jail would have such a good influence on War?

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War Machine’s Big House Blog Number Two: Scrabble, Sex Deprivation and Sage Advice

 
(Scrabble? I pictured War Machine as more of a Tiddly Winks kind of guy.)

Well, War Machine got through his second week in the clink without any controversy, which is nearly as surprising as Paulo Filho making it to his scheduled Impact FC appearance.

Other than getting ripped off for his phone credits, Machine’s week, which mostly consisted of reading and taking advice from convicted felons, was relatively serene, but considering he has 50 weeks remaining in his one-year sentence, we’re not holding our collective breath that things won’t go sideways at some point in the near future.

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War Machine Survives First Week in Prison, Hopes to Avoid ‘Lame Drama’

War Machine MMA David Mitchell
("It’s not you, homey, I was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier." Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Thanks to his most recent bar brawl, former UFC fighter War Machine has been keepin’ it real in San Diego Central Jail since July 16th, where he’ll be stuck for a year. (Or less, with good behavior. So probably about a year.) Luckily, that won’t stop the adult film star from updating his fans about his life and observations. Relaying messages to a friend on the outside, Machine was able to send out the following missive late last night. From WarMachine170 via MissRARA:

What’s up guys!? I’m gonna do a weekly blog for this year while I’m locked up. Just want to keep y’all posted and give you some insight on what it’s like here for me. When I first got here I was told I was gonna be kept in segregation to pretect myself since I’m a "celebrity." I told them NO WAY! 23 hours a day lockdown? FUCK THAT! So they stuck me in the "mainline." They classified me a 5 on a scale 1-6 so I’m with the big dogs. Everyone here has been to prison. Few guys in my unit are murderers waiting to be shipped out to prison for life. Funny, kinda odd, but they are the most friendly of the bunch… Most intelligent too. Hardest thing about this place is finding people you can have a decent conversation with.

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War Machine’s Porn Career in Jeopardy After Allegedly Assaulting Girlfriend, Agent, and Several Terrified Partygoers

War Machine twitter MMA porn assault

So did you guys do anything crazy this weekend? Like, maybe beat the shit out of half the guest-list at a porn star’s birthday party? No? Well, you’ll never believe this, but that’s exactly what MMA tabloid hero War Machine did on Saturday night. Multiple reports are coming in, so we’ll try to piece this together from what we have…

— On Saturday night, Machine heads out to a b-day party for adult film actress Brooke Haven, held at a porn studio in Van Nuys. He appears to be in good spirits, though he was reportedly pissed off that his agent, Derek Hay (aka "Ben English"), wasn’t getting him enough work.

— Things quickly turn south when War allegedly punches his girlfriend, Alanah Rae, then drags her outside. This part of the story is hazy because although Terez Owens reports that Rae personally confirmed with him that War Machine decked her, she later went on Twitter to deny it. Still, there seems to be no difference in opinion over what happened next…

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War Machine Scores Third-Straight Win at ‘UWC: Capital Punishment”


(Props: MMA Linker)

To everyone who thought War Machine would self-distruct and disappear after being kicked out of the UFC, fired from Bellator, and arrested following a fracas at a gay club — well, allow him to grab his crotch in your direction. On Saturday night, the always outspoken, rarely coherent TUF 6 vet won for the third time since his UFC exit, putting away opponent Reshad Woods via second-round rear-naked choke at an Ultimate Warrior Challenge event in Fairfax, Virginia.

Say what you want about this retard, but he does know how to put on an entertaining fight…

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War Watch: Machine Fights “Il Toro” Tonight in Montreal

War Machine MMA XMMA Guillaume de Lorenzi
(Image courtesy of XMMA.tv)

Well at least there’s one brave, honest MMA organization left in the world that’s willing to take a chance on War Machine despite his arrests and controversial views on American politics. Canadian league XMMA is holding an event tonight in Montreal which features the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver in the main event against Guillaume "Il Toro" de Lorenzi. De Lorenzi is a perfect 5-0 in MMA competition with all wins by TKO, the last four of which came in the first round.

Machine is actually a replacement for Phil Baroni, who pulled out of the match against "Il Toro" two weeks ago when Strikeforce acquired his contract from Pro Elite; Baroni expects to make his Strikeforce return in May. Machine — who most recently scored a first-round TKO win over David Anderson at a Desert Rage event in November — still has about ten hours to do something stupid enough to get him kicked off the show, which is like eight weeks in normal-people time. So cross your fingers for him, and if you’ll actually be buying the XMMA pay-per-view broadcast, let us know how it goes.

Related: War’s gay club brawl? Totally started by someone else.

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War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior; Clarifies That He Was Only Working at Straight-Friendly Club

Jon Koppenhaver War Machine MMA UFC
(It’s lonely at the top. It’s probably lonely wherever Jon Koppenhaver is, too. Photo courtesy of MMA Splatter.)

Major props to CagePotato reader Danielle T. for sending us War Machine’s latest MySpace bulletin, in which the beleaguered fighter ends his fatwa on President Obama, apologizes for his "loose cannon" remarks, sheds a little more light on his arrest, and dares the haters to bet against him. Check it out below; all misspellings are his own.

_______________

Date: Feb 11, 2009 6:15 PM
Subject: Important bulletin, PLEASE READ…Fans and HATERS.

As you all know I post some very controversial bulletins, a few of which have effected my career in a very negative way. At this I feel the need to clear a few things up. First, I need to admit that my comment regarding Obama was completely out of line. In all sincerity I do not wish any harm done to the President and I realize that it was a very stupid thing to write so I am publicly apologizing to the President and to his supporters.

In the beginning of my career it was brought to my attention (by some ignorant advisors, which I now realize) that my image as a professional fighter is more marketable if I am controversial. Controversy does grab attention. Part of creating that controversy is consistently saying things in a public format that I know will cause a reaction. Along with my loyal fans, I know that part of my popularity as a fighter is that people want to see me get my ass kicked. I knew that my Obama bulletin would gain me more fans* as well as make a lot more people hate me and that was exactly the reaction I was going for. Obama is one of the most loved people in the country right now.

Once I thought it through, it was too late. I removed the post an hour later. But the harm was done. So, at this point I’m being a man and I’m publicly admitting that I was wrong. What I wrote was stupid. So once again I want to reidderate the point that I really do not hope anything bad happens to him.

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War Machine’s Arrest: A Gay Club Visit Gone Terribly Wrong?


(Fuck a body-cavity search. Props to TMZ.)

More details about War "Jon Koppenhaver" Machine’s weekend arrest, from everybody’s favorite online gossip rag that occasionally covers UFC fighters, TMZ:

With a name like War Machine, what do you expect to happen?
 
Former "Ultimate Fighter" badass Jon Koppenhaver, who goes by the aforementioned MMA nickname, was picked up by Las Vegas PD for misdemeanor battery Saturday morning after allegedly getting into a tussle at Krave Nightclub — a place described by one of their reps as "gay … but very straight-friendly."
 
Cops tell TMZ security at Krave was escorting War Machine out of the club after a little brouhaha — when he allegedly turned on security and starting punching them. Security made a citizens arrest until Las Vegas PD could show up.

Perhaps the club was a little too straight-friendly. (Or not friendly enough?) Who knows. What you should really be concerned about is the fact that he had access to a computer the day after his arrest. After the jump, Machine turns to his trusty blog — perhaps the only constant in his life — to give us a little insight on what might have set him off in the first place.

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War Machine Arrested in Vegas


(Shit’s about to get real, son.  Real bad.)

Five Ounces of Pain is passing along a report that everyone’s favorite MMA screw-up, War Machine, was arrested in Las Vegas for battery early Saturday morning.  That’s right, the same guy who recently lost a job opportunity with Bellator for his comments about President Obama, which came after he was kicked out of the UFC for his comments about Evan Tanner/refusal to fight Brandon Wolff.  

To make matters worse, this was apparently a citizen’s arrest, meaning some guy (or woman, we don’t know) on the street grabbed War Machine after he battered someone and then held him there for the cops.  Or, more likely, it happened in a club or casino and security detained him, though I like the first explanation better for the visual imagery it conjures up.

War Machine was already on probation in California for beating up someone outside a gym, so unless he can prove his innocence in this case – and let’s be honest, you knew when you saw the headline that he was guilty – he’s probably going to do some time.

As much as we like mocking those who have aggressively proved themselves deserving of such mockery, War Machine’s life has recently moved beyond pure schadenfreude and into the realm of the genuinely depressing.  Though he did bring it on himself (repeatedly) while demonstrating a complete unwillingness to learn from his past mistakes.  You know where he could make friends who share those fun little traits?  Prison.

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‘Fail Machine’ Fired From Yet Another Job

War Machine MySpace MMA Bellator

A lot of you have already been discussing this in the comments sections of today’s stories, but we wanted to pass along the above screen-cap of War Machine‘s latest MySpace blog post, courtesy of Fightlinker. It seems that his provocative political views ("Fuck an Obama…I hope someone smokes that motherfucker and every president to come") have gotten him kicked off of another promotion’s roster. This time it’s the Bellator Fighting Championships, which will be launching a series of MMA tournaments to be televised on ESPN Deportes beginning April 4th. And while a setback like this would certainly convince us to stop posting our private thoughts in public, Machine is not "changing for anyone or any dollar amount…I will always be true to myself and my beliefs." Take it from an objective observer, War — your beliefs aren’t worth more than a potential $250,000 payday. I don’t even think you could put a down payment on a pre-owned Ford Focus with your beliefs. And dude, "fuck a Disney"? FOR SHAME.

Bellator’s roster is coming together very slowly, but here’s who they have so far according to MMA Weekly:

Announced Participants for Lightweight Tournament
Eddie Alvarez
Jorge Masvidal
Thomas Schulte
Diego Garijo

Announced Participants for Featherweight Tournament
Wilson Reis
Nick Gonazlez
Joe Soto

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War Machine: “F*ck an Obama”

War Machine Jon Koppenhaver MMA Obama
 
Props to Fightlinker for screen-capping the latest dose of brilliance from War Machine‘s infamously retarded MySpace blog/bulletins, for the benefit of those of us who aren’t subscribed. Basically, he calls President Obama a "rich white guy," a "rich faggot," and says that Obama is not one of "THE PEOPLE." Also, he kind of implies that someone should assassinate him. (Secret Service, are you getting all this?) Sounds like a classic case of Nader-supporter sour grapes. But wait, there’s more:

Jan 20, 2009 10:44 PM
And while I’m at it fuck a Bush for his shitty ass campaign, fuck a McCain for being so damn old and fuck a Hillary for being a female…shittt…last thing we need is a female in office.

That’s a good start, War, but we’d also add:
1) Fuck a Cheney for showing up to yesterday’s inauguration looking like a broke-ass Jeffrey Lebowski.
2) Fuck a Palin for not bringing in the LARPer vote.
3) Fuck a Jon Koppenhaver for legally changing his name to War Machine then venting idiotic hostility via his MySpace page like some high-school fat girl.
4) Fuck a War Machine’s parents for not hugging him enough as a child.

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UFC Fires War Machine’s Dumb Ass

War Machine Jon Koppenhaver MMA UFC
(Fail Machine. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Bad news for the fighter whose momma named him Jon Koppenhaver: The UFC has decided to fire “War Machine” due to an insensitive blog post he made in the wake of Evan Tanner’s death, as well as his refusal to take a fight with an Octagon newbie. Machine confirmed his cut with MMA Junkie.

Following the tragic news of Evan Tanner’s death, Machine posted the following on his infamous MySpace blog:

No one is sure yet but it sounds like it was a suicide. Sad thing is that it makes sense. What else is an UNDERPAID fighter supposed to do at the end of his career?
Cash in his 401K? Collect social security? Start to work some shitty job for 10 bucks an hour?
Shit ain’t boxing and if you’re not Chuck Liddell or Tito Ortiz you don’t get paid dick.
Wasn’t like he made MILLIONS and blew it all like Mike Tyson, this guy fought his entire life and didn’t have shit.
No wonder why he took off to the woods.
Prolly reminisced on the days when he was champ, the days when growing old didn’t matter and took his life.
Severe depression plagues MANY fighters at the end of their careers. Mark my words when I say that “HE MAY BE THE FIRST, BUT HE ISN’T THE LAST.”

Machine removed the posting when it was reported that Tanner’s death didn’t appear to be a suicide, but he told MMA Junkie that he still kinda believes that it was:

“I still believe in my heart it was a suicide…maybe he didn’t shoot himself in the head, but I think he went up there maybe with plans not to come back…He was depressed, guaranteed. He had just lost to Kendall [Grove]. He was getting older. He knows he has no retirement plan. He had nothing, dude. That could be the outcome for a lot of fighters, myself included. I for damn sure guarantee you that if I’m in my 40s and I didn’t make enough money and I don’t have my own gym to support myself or whatever, I’ll probably kill myself too.”

Of course, his firing appears to be equally motivated by an ill-advised clash with UFC matchmaker Joe Silva.

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‘War Machine’ Legally Changes Name to ‘War Machine’

War Machine Jon Koppenhaver MMA UFC
(Your eyes do not deceive you — that is indeed an armpit-hair tattoo.)

I don’t know if I should call bullshit on this one, but it’s being reported as actual news, so here goes. The UFC fighter and TUF 6 castmember formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver has legally changed his name to “War Machine” — which was previously his nickname — due to a trademark dispute with TNA Wrestling. As Machine wrote recently on his friends-only MySpace blog:

Subject: Funny ass shit!

SO in case you didn’t notice in my last fight the UFC did NOT use my nickname when I fought. Turns out some gay ass wrestling federation threatened to sue them because they recently named one of their wrestlers The War Machine Rhino and trademarked the name.

Too fuckin’ bad that I have been using this name for 6 years, have it tatted on my body and it is what my fans yell out when I’m fighting.

If you know my personality then you know damn well I am not gonna let some faggot ass, FAKE wrestler steal MY name..
SO 6 weeks ago I filed a change of name request and today I had court to make my name officially WAR MACHINE.

lol
Fuckin’ funny right? Didn’t really wanna have to do it but I am sure as hell not lose MY nickname.

Time for a nap.

WM

You may remember War Machine’s MySpace blog as the venue in which he expressed his desire to move to the Philippines so he could kill and fornicate as much as he wanted to. Meaning, the name change shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. We just can’t wait until Bruce Buffer has to announce it. And does this mean they have to change his name in the video game, too? Oh War Machine, why must you be such a rebel?

(Props to Rob P. for the heads up, and riceavenger for the full MySpace message)

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MMA News Nuggets: Sengoku, War Machine, Chuck Liddell and More

JB
(Dude does a mean Truffle Shuffle.)

— The fight card for Sengoku‘s first show has been announced. Scheduled to go down March 5th in Tokyo, the event is headlined by Josh Barnett’s fight against champion judoka/mediocre MMA fighter Hidehiko Yoshida, which Barnett should win handily. Sengoku 1 also features bouts between Takanori Gomi and Duane “Bang” Ludwig, and Kazuo Misaki vs. Siyar Bahadurzada.

— Jens Pulver choked Cub Swanson directly into the minor leagues. Swanson faces Donny “Eagle Eye” Walker at IFBL Fight Night 11 tomorrow night in Niles, Ohio. Sucks to be you, brah!

TUF 6 castmember Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver will receive no jail time for that little shirtless misunderstanding he had last September.

— Did we hear that right? Did Bob Sapp say he can actually run for ten straight minutes?

— Chuck Liddell proves he’s no less intelligent than the average American during his disastrous performance on highbrow NPR quiz show “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!” Not sure who advised him that this would be a good idea, but they should be taken off the payroll immediately. (To save yourself a whole lotta boredom, skip past the first five minutes.)

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UFC Morsels: Dave Terrell Booted; War Machine’s Next; On-Line Viewing Options


(What do Mr. Glass and Dave Terrell have in common? Read on…)

Remember how Dave Terrell was going to be the next big thing in the UFC’s middleweight bracket? Well, happy days are gone according to GracieFighter.com. Terrell has been released by Dana’s organization.

Terrell went 2-1 in the UFC and got off to a great start – a quick KO of Matt Lindland at UFC 49. He was then sidelined for a while because of various injuries before a TKO loss to Evan Tanner and a ho-hum submission win over Scott Smith. But that last fight was almost two years ago. It’s now apparent that Terrell is made of glass because he kept getting injured and had to pull out of three fights – one due to a sinus infection, two to assorted injuries.

It looks like the Cesar Gracie-trained and BJJ black belt fighter will continue battling elsewhere and hopes to get a better contract next time out.

Plagued by injuries and unhappy with the financial terms of his bout agreements, Terrell sat out the remainder of his contract. Now focused on getting his career back on track, Terrell will be looking to signing and fighting with another organization.

5oz of Pain is making a case for Terrell heading to EliteXC. Nick Diaz and Jake Shields – Terrell’s teammates – fight for EliteXC already and could pull him over. Although that “unhappy with the financial terms” thing might get even worse with that organization unless he’s headlining events – which will be hard to do if he continues his injurious ways.

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