(Why does Keith have to be such a mean old Grinch? Pic props Getty Images)

Dana White put out a short and sweet edition of his UFC 141 video blogs today so he could explain the UFC’s decision to award Duane Ludwig with the fastest KO in UFC history.

Previously, Todd Duffee held the distinction for his :07 routing of Tim Hague at UFC 102 back in 2009 and it was believed that Chan-Sung Jung mirrored The Duffman’s time earlier this month when he knocked out Mark Hominick at UFC 140.

On closer inspection it seems that neither fighter really holds the record as it really belongs to Ludwig, whose 2006 knockout over Jonathan Goulet at UFN 3 was previously in the books at :11.

(The fact that Duane didn’t ass-punch Goulet at full strength proves what a classy guy he is.)

I’m sure you know the story by now: In January 2006, Duane “Bang” Ludwig met Jonathan Goulet at UFC Fight Night 3 and first-punch KO’d him in just four seconds. But due to a timekeeper’s error, the stoppage time was officially recorded as 11 seconds. It didn’t really bother Ludwig until he saw all the media attention that Todd Duffee got for knocking out Tim Hague in a “record breaking” seven seconds. This was clearly some bullshit.

But after several months spent petitioning the Internet, the Nevada State Athletic Commission, and the UFC, Ludwig has been vindicated, in the form of a tweet sent out by UFC president Dana White on Christmas Eve:

“@DUANEBANGCOM @ufc and for x mas you have the fastest KO in UFC history and it will be changed ASAP”

And now, here’s the NSAC’s Keith Kizer to play the Grinch/Scrooge role in this holiday miracle…

(Clements v. Travis Briere, end comes at the 2:44 mark.)

Aside from The Ultimate Fighter 14 Finale, December 3rd also features an interesting welterweight battle between UFC veteran Rich Clementi and up and coming KO artist Chris Clements under the Score Fighting Series promotion. And after doing a quick check-up on Clements, we thought he was a guy that was worth talking about, so let’s, shall we?

“The Menace” is a 9-4 product fighting out of Ontario, Canada who has collected all 9 of those wins by way of KO or TKO inside the first two rounds. He often trains with the likes of Mark Hominick and Sam Stout, because there can only be so many MMA gyms in that tundra known as Canada, am I right or am I right? *High fives self*

A little known fact about Clements: he is the man responsible for retiring UFC vet Jonathan Goulet back at Rinside MMA-Payback in November of 2010, the video of which is after the jump.

(William Phelps Eno would be rolling in his grave if he knew he could have trademarked the shape of the stop sign he invented.)

You would think that with all of the bad press they’ve had in the past few weeks from the ludicrous delay in granting David Loiseau’s license for UFC 113 and the fallout from the Paul Daley sucker punch at one of their sanctioned events that the Régie des Alcools des Courses et des Jeux (RACJ) would want to stay under the radar for a while.

You’d be wrong.

 
(It looks like Tito isn’t the only UFC fighter who keeps his pimp hand strong.)

I don’t know if it was due to boredom from hearing the the same old answers and cliche quotes regurgitated back to me by fighters, but a while back I began asking interview subjects strange arbitrary questions and have been paid back in kind with strange arbitrary answers.

Some notable anecdotes I’ve been told:

– No matter if he’s at home, on a bus, on a plane or on a train, Pat Barry can only fall asleep while wearing a pillow case tied around his head.

– Eric "Red" Schafer has a stalker in his hometown in Wisconsin. He is male and likes to break into his car and sniff his shoes and gym clothes.

– Jason MacDonald was originally slated to be on TUF 3, but was beaten by Kalib Starnes at an event in British Columbia just before the final selections were made for the show and was replaced by "The Running Man" that season.

(Ben Saunders’s clinch: Not where you want to be. Photo courtesy of ESPN.)

According to MMA Weekly, welterweight contenders Martin Kampmann and Ben Saunders have agreed to meet at UFC 111 (March 27th, Newark). Both fighters recently bounced back to the win column after suffering knockouts in previous fights: Kampmann scored a first-round submission over Jacob Volkmann earlier this month after getting smoked by Paul Daley at UFC 103, while Saunders is coming off his first-round knockout of Marcus Davis at UFC 106, after being on the wrong end of a TKO against Mike Swick in June. UFC 111 will be headlined by the championship doubleheader of Georges St. Pierre vs. Dan Hardy and Frank Mir vs. Shane Carwin. In other UFC fight-booking news…

— Speaking of Marcus Davis, the Irish Hand Grenade will look to snap his two-fight losing streak at UFC 113 (May 1st, Montreal) against Canadian welterweight Jonathan Goulet, who returns to the Octagon for the first time since his 33-second knockout loss to Mike Swick at Fight for the Troops in December 2008.

(Props: Altofsky)

According to Mike Goldberg, Todd Duffee‘s seven-second pwnage of Tim Hague at UFC 102 was "officially the fastest knockout in UFC history." Previously, the company line was that James Irvin and Don Frye held the record jointly with their eight-second knockouts of Houston Alexander and Thomas Ramirez, respectively. But hardcore fans know the truth. Above is a gif of Duane "Bang" Ludwig‘s knockout of Jonathan Goulet at UFC Fight Night 3, in which Mario Yamasaki rushes in to save the starched Canadian at the four-second mark. So why don’t we ever hear about it? Well, the timekeeper effed up and reported the official time of the stoppage as 11 seconds. And that’s still how they have the time listed on UFC.com and Sherdog. Duffee may have given us one of the most fearsome Octagon debuts since Tank Abbott, but at the very least his "record" should have an asterisk next to it…

#5: Jonathan Goulet vs Joey Brown @ TKO 17 (9/25/04), 7 seconds
He calls himself the Road Warrior, but Jonathan Goulet may as well be nicknamed “The Flash.” Twenty-five of the UFC/TKO veteran’s 32 pro fights have ended in the first round, and six have ended within the first 30 seconds. (Luckily, he’s won most of them.) Goulet’s all-time fastest victory was this seven-second KO against Joey “Knockdown” Brown. All it took was a head kick, a quick Thai clinch, and a knee fired right up the middle, and Brown was in dreamland. The win was Goulet’s fifth in what became a ten-fight win streak, which culminated in him scoring a contract with the UFC, shooting down Jay Hieron in his notoriously bloody Octagon debut, and choking out Shonie Carter back in Canada. As for Brown, he still seemed to be dizzy from Goulet’s knee during his next four fights, losing all of them.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO…

(‘Bones’ Jones: Nothing but awesome.)

Between his unstoppable takedowns and wildly unorthodox YouTube-influenced striking, Jon Jones has caught the attention of many UFC fans, who see him as one of the future stars of the light-heavyweight division. And after his one-sided mollywhopping of Stephan Bonnar at UFC 94 in January, he’ll be getting another big name to prove himself against. TheGarv has confirmed that Jones will compete next at UFC 100 (July 11th, Las Vegas) where he’ll take on former heavyweight Jake O’Brien. Known primarily as a wrestler, O’Brien most recently won a split-decision over Christian Wellisch during his light-heavyweight debut at UFC 94; before signing with the UFC, he racked up a 7-0 record with all wins by first-round T/KO, but he hasn’t won a fight by stoppage since August 2006. Jones would certainly seem to have an advantage in the standup, and if he can neutralize O’Brien’s wrestling — a very likely scenario — it’ll be Jones’s fight to win.

In other booking news…

(Don’t stop believing. Photo courtesy of Fighters.com.)

— Evan Tanner’s memorial will be held at 2 p.m. on September 27th at the Civic Center (401 South Buchanan Street) in Amarillo, Texas. Tonight’s Ultimate Fight Night broadcast will be dedicated to Tanner, and an Evan Tanner tribute show will be airing soon on Spike.

— Even though the ink on Houston Alexander’s new five-fight contract extension hasn’t even dried yet, Dana White admits that if the Assassin loses against Eric Schafer tonight, he’ll need to leave the UFC for a while to rack up some wins in other promotions.

— Roger Huerta’s loss to Kenny Florian last month was very hard on him emotionally, and he’s desperate for a rematch. In an interview with Fighters Only Magazine, he also seemed to imply that he’ll be leaving Greg Jackson’s team: “I would like to go back to the way I used to train, with the people I used to train with. Those guys were like brothers to me, not just trainers.”

— TUF 7 finalist C.B. Dollaway will reportedly return to the Octagon at UFC 92 (December 27th, Las Vegas) against middleweight veteran Jorge Rivera. Dollaway is officially 1-1 in the UFC at this point, after being submitted by Amir Sadollah via armbar at the TUF 7 finale in June, then submitting Jesse Taylor via Peruvian neck tie at “Silva vs. Irvin” in July.

— Speaking of fight bookings, Mike Swick and Jonathan Goulet have agreed to fight each other at the Ultimate Fighter 8 finale on December 13th. Both men have won their last two fights in the UFC.

— Round 5′s new Sean Sherk collectible figure doesn’t really look like Sean Sherk. But the Wandy and Spider figures are definitely worthy of being displayed in your cubicle.