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Tag: Jonestown

BJ Penn to Possibly Form Cult, Lead Unholy Army of Martial Arts Instructors

BJ Penn MMA UFC Live Like a Champion
("Child-brides welcome!")

Just because you’re a martial arts master who’s been teaching a specific fighting style for years, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn a lot from BJ Penn. In fact, Penn would like to help 300 hand-picked martial arts instructors improve their minds, bodies, and spirits through a year-long training camp in Hawaii called "The Live Like a Champion Project." (The press release is after the jump, in case you don’t feel like clicking on that link.) This is troubling for a number of reasons:

1) So basically, the Prodigy is luring the world’s most skilled fighters to an extended stay at his shadowy island fortress. Yes, that’s the exact plot of Enter the Dragon.

2) It’s such a perfect expression of BJ’s hubris. Penn has gained fame as a brilliant fighter, but he’s not really known as a talented teacher. (Sorry, Rude Boy, it’s not your fault.) Yet he feels he’s qualified to tell hundreds of instructors how to do their jobs. Particularly, he aims to train the minds of these people. The irony of a blood-licking crybaby obsessive holding seminars on inner tranquility is apparently lost on him.

3) The fact that the program requires its participants to spend a full year in Hawaii will generally attract men without families, who have no problem quitting their paying job and living off the food and shelter that Penn gives them — in other words, disturbed loners who will be easily influenced by the Jim Jones-like sway of BJ. Okay fine, I’ll spell it out for you: BJ Penn is obviously trying to start his own cult. Check out his Christ-like pose in the above image. You wouldn’t drink cyanide-laced coconut milk for this man? Of course, before the mass suicides, the Penntown 300 could be sent on revenge missions against Georges St. Pierre and Keith Kizer. Far-fetched? Maybe. But don’t say you haven’t been warned.

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