(Photo courtesy of Combate.TV)

It looks like Gray Maynard will be eating Brazilian kicks and punches for Christmas in the delicacy’s native land.

The former number one UFC lightweight contender will be in Rio de Janeiro for the next few weeks to help UFC featherweight kingpin Jose Aldo prepare for his January 14 UFC 142 bout with Chad Mendes. Aldo invited “The Bully” to Brazil as his style is very similar to Mendes’. Gray arrived on Wednesday and will stick around until after the event in three weeks.

(This is where we’d normally make some sort of Geico Caveman reference, but those jokes, like the commercials, have been played out to the point of eye-gouging redundancy. So, uh…beauty and the beast?) 

Though they may not get your engine revving, a couple of sure-to-be-undercard bouts have been booked for the UFC’s debut on FUEL TV, the first of which being a featherweight match-up between grappling wizards Jonathan Brookins and Rani Yahya. After lateral dropping his way through season 12 of The Ultimate Fighter, Brookins recently saw a four fight win streak snapped at the hands of featherweight contender Eric Koch in a three rounder reminiscent of Couture vs. Vera that saw Brookins unable to get Koch to the mat.

Yahya, on the other hand, is likely fighting for his future in the UFC. Just 1-3 in his past four, with the lone win coming against a struggling (and last minute replacement) Mike Brown, we last saw Yahya on the losing end of a unanimous decision to Jose Aldo‘s next challenger, Chad Mendes. Prior to the Brown win, Yahya was outclassed by Takeya Mizugaki in another decision at WEC 48 and TKO’ed by future flyweight champ Joseph Benavidez at WEC 45.

(Smiling in the presence of a woman? Automatic one-point deduction. / Photo via Sherdog)

As sort-of hazily defined by Nick Diaz back in January 2010, the Unified Rules of Stockton is an alternate MMA scoring system in which the winner of the fight is the guy who would have won if the match had continued indefinitely, and the loser is the guy who looks more fucked up afterwards. Under Stockton Rules, only the final round is scored, and holding onto top position without doing damage actually counts for negative points.

The more commonly used ten-point-must system keeps things nice and uniform, and doesn’t require judges to predict the future. But as we’ve seen time and time again, the fighter who has more points on the scorecards isn’t always who you would call the “winner.” So which notable UFC fights would have different results if the scoring system was a little more gangster? Let’s get an obvious one out of the way first…

DAN HENDERSON vs. MAURICIO “SHOGUN” RUA
UFC 139, 11/19/11

(Tim who?)

UFC matchmaker Joe Silva has chosen a somewhat curious opponent for Yushin Okami for his next fight, considering that the only losses he’s had in the past three years came against arguably the number one and number two middleweights in the world.

The promotion announced today that Okami will lock horns with Tim Boetsch when the Octagon returns to “The Land of the Rising Sun” for UFC 144 on February 26.

(Aldo will make his third UFC title defense at home in Brazil.)

Jose Aldo will be in for a stiff test when he puts his UFC featherweight crown on the line against undefeated 11-0 wrestling standout Chad Mendes on January 14 at UFC 142 in a yet-to-be-announced locale in Brazil.

“Pound-for-pound superstar Jose Aldo will return home to fight in Brazil for the first time since 2007 when he defends his UFC featherweight title against unbeaten powerhouse Chad Mendes,” UFC president Dana White revealed to FoxSports.com this morning. “Aldo hasn’t lost in over five years, but Mendes has yet to lose in MMA, and after clearing out all the contenders put in his way, he believes he has what it takes to beat the champion.”

(Kenny chose brown and blue to match his face at the presser.)

When Kenny Florian fell short in his third UFC title bid Saturday night against featherweight champion Jose Aldo at UFC 136, fans and the media immediately began inexplicably asking “The Ultimate Fighter 1″ finalist if perhaps it would be a good time for him to call it a career. Seems a bit harsh, but everyone loves  winner.

Even UFC president Dana White seemed to hint at the post-fight press conference that Florian’s future with the promotion might be behind the microphone as opposed to in the Octagon.

“I’ve got nothing but respect for him, and Kenny Florian will be with us no matter what.
“Kenny Florian’s awesome. He commentated our last show. I think he’s great on camera. I think he’s great on the mic,” White gushed. “He’s a talented guy with a lot of options, and he’s always been a solid guy with us and always been a team player. I love Kenny Florian. There’s a lot of things that could happen with Kenny Florian.”The thing about Kenny is he’s smart. He’s talented. He’s got other options. He’s got things going on outside of fighting, too. It’s just one of those things he needs to sit down and really figure out on his own.”

(Rashad gets booed. Forrest gets giddy.GIF courtesy of ZombieProphet)

We figured you could all use a little entertainment to help you through another case of the Mondays, so we’ve compiled a few of the weekend’s GIF-worthy moments for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy more animated goodness after the jump.

(If Jesse Ventura ever sees this, someone out there is going to get sued. / Props to MMAFighting.)  

As a long time UFC fan, I’ve recently noticed that their marketing team has seemingly taken a break from using corny phrases to label their events. In fact, the last UFC pay-per-view to not be named after the fighters in the main event was back at UFC 125: Resolution, which featured the eventual draw between, you guessed it, Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard. You just don’t see that kind of irony everyday.

UFC 136 was actually able to provide us with closure, however — more closure in fact than any card in quite a while. Not only did Edgar vindicate himself in triumphant fashion, but Jose Aldo proved to many of his critics that his gas tank is not an issue, Kenny Florian proved that he will never, ever, win a title fight, and Chael Sonnen proved that ring rust is for the weak. But now, we look to the future, and more importantly, try to predict it for the weekend’s big winners. So if you think our future match-ups are garbage, be sure to let us know in the comments section below.

Dana White post-event interview with Ariel Helwani. Props: MMAFighting.com

It’s no stretch to say that UFC 136 was, on paper, the most stacked UFC card since UFC 100. It featured two title fights, the return of the only middleweight to make Anderson Silva look human, a rematch from one of the most controversial decisions of 2010 and a lightweight contender looking to keep his winning streak alive. Add on the UFC Fan Expo being held on the same weekend, and it would seem impossible for UFC 136 to live up to the hype. Yet, impressively enough, it did.

If you’re a fan of “zombie style” fighting, then Frankie Edgar absolutely has to be one of your favorite fighters after last night. In a performance that caused more than a few of us to experience déjà vu, Edgar seemed like he was one punch away from being knocked out throughout Gray Maynard’s early onslaught. But Edgar hung on and managed to take the next two rounds en route to a fourth round TKO. It’s an impressive accomplishment, especially considering that Frankie Edgar is a natural featherweight while Gray Maynard is pretty big for a lightweight, if Mike Goldberg is to be trusted. Any questions about Frankie Edgar’s ability to finish seem to have been answered last night. Especially in the eyes of Dana White, who awarded Frankie Edgar the 75k Knockout of the Night honors.

(“I’m so sick of your friggin’ face.” “No, I’m so sick of *your* friggin’ face.”)

Well, we’re finally going to sort out this lightweight championship mess. Thanks for joining us for the ride. Bear with us as we try a slightly different format to appease the complaints we’ve had about spoilers and such. If you want to read about certain fight, click  ”next page.”

Preliminary results after the jump.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Jose Aldo grew up playing soccer, but transitioned to MMA when his love of brawling with rival teams began to overcome his love of scoring goals. His UFC 136 opponent Kenny Florian took his passion for soccer all the way to a position on the Boston College varsity team. Tomorrow night, they’ll be trying to kick each other, in a real sport. As this is a championship fight, their soccer-juggling showdown should have really gone five rounds. But I have a feeling it would have been an even bigger blowout if Aldo didn’t grab the fence in the third. A sign of things to come? [Ed. note: No.]

(Stock-trader vs. Wall Street protester — who ya got? Photo via MMA Mania)

Want to make some real money this weekend? Then come over to my place on Saturday afternoon and be prepared to clean some toilets. Want to make some hypothetical, for-entertainment-purposes-only money this weekend? Then check out the latest UFC 136 betting lines (via BestFightOdds) and read our gambling advice after the jump.

PPV Main Card
Frankie Edgar (-125) vs. Gray Maynard (+120)
Jose Aldo (-320) vs. Kenny Florian (+301)
Chael Sonnen (-255) vs. Brian Stann (+227)
Nam Phan (-210) vs. Leonard Garcia (+208)
Melvin Guillard (-312) vs. Joe Lauzon (+310)

Spike TV Prelims
Demian Maia (-275) vs. Jorge Santiago (+245)
Anthony Pettis (-277) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+250)

Facebook Prelims
Joey Beltran (+190) vs. Stipe Miocic (-210)
Tiequan Zhang (-120) vs. Darren Elkins (+115)
Aaron Simpson (-313) vs. Eric Schafer (+300)
Steve Cantwell (-135) vs. Mike Massenzio (+130)

We’ll begin…at the beginning:

Zuffa Editorial Director Thomas Gerbasi has just given us a stack of his upcoming book UFC Encyclopedia, a slick and meticulously detailed reference guide to the promotion’s 18-year history — perfect for your coffee table or the crapper. And we want to give away three copies to the savviest fight-pickers in the Potato Nation.

This Saturday, UFC 136: Edgar vs. Maynard III goes down at the Toyota Center in Houston, featuring the conclusion (we hope) of MMA’s grittiest lightweight rivalry, Jose Aldo‘s latest title featherweight defense against Kenny Florian, and Chael Sonnen‘s love-fest with Brian Stann. Submit your predictions for these three fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage, if any. Your entry should be in this format:

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Add this to the list of explanations as to why Jose Aldo nearly fell apart in the last round of his title defense against Mark Hominick. As the above video illustrates, the UFC featherweight champ suffered through the worst weight cut of his career before UFC 129 in April. Aldo’s coach Andre “Dede” Pederneiras explains that Junior had packed on more muscle than he had in the past, and was forced to cut 6.6 more pounds on the day of weigh-ins. Aldo’s training partner Marlon Sandro guides us through the weight cut process, which involves a lot of weight loss cream and a hot bath (“it feels like your skin is melting”).

With 1.1 pounds to go, Aldo mentally breaks down, refusing to cut any more, damn the consequences. The video leaves us hanging for part 2 for some reason, but look, we all know what happened; Aldo made the weight, and showed obvious signs of fatigue in his fight the next day. No matter what happens in his title defense against Kenny Florian at UFC 136 on October 8th, Aldo’s days in the 145-pound division may be numbered.

Related: Five of the Worst Weight Cuts in MMA History

(Eder Jones wins fight, loses pie-eating contest.)

This Friday marks the official start of Autumn, and like clockwork, I’m catching a goddamned cold. There’s something about the change of seasons that seems to wreck my immune system, which has grown frail due to a life of solitary blogging and poor hygeine. So as I chug my Airborne/orange juice cocktail, let’s all take inspiration in these six men, who were way worse-off than I am now, and still managed to kick ass.

GEORGES ST. PIERRE
vs. Thomas Denny @ UCC 12, 1/25/03

Method of victory: TKO (cut), 4:45 of round 2
In his own words: ”I took the fight and I was really sick. I was so sick, after the first round I thought I was going to fall unconscious. And I told my cornerman, I’m like, listen, when the second round will start I will try a high kick in the beginning and if I don’t knock out my opponent, I want you to throw the towel. My cornerman look up at me like this, he said ‘Georges, I don’t have a towel, you’re gonna die in the ring.’

And I got so angry, I was like, I can’t believe this guy, he’s supposed to be my friend, he wants me to die in the ring. So I stood up, I hear the [bell], I fought through it, and by some kind of miracle I was able to cut the guy and to TKO him and the referee stopped the fight. I was completely exhausted. That was my toughest fight.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/CP)

UFC featherweight champion José Aldo made his MMA debut seven years ago at EcoFight 1 in Amapá, Brazil.

Why it matters:

It’s not the fact that Aldo defeated Mario Bigola in just 18 seconds by soccer-kick KO at the event,  it’s that he did it at the age of 17, setting the tone for what would become a dominant career. Bigola retired following the bout and Aldo racked up an impressive 19-1 record, including an undefeated eight-fight tear through the WEC and successful defenses of his WEC and UFC belts.

(“Is this too much?”)

According to a release from Authentic Sports Management, Eric Eisner’s Double E Pictures has optioned the film rights for former UFC middleweight champion Rich Franklin’s life story.

Eisner has hired screenwriter David Hollander (The Cleaner; The Guardian) to pen the script and Sean Sorensen from Motion Theory to produce the film that will chronicle Franklin’s journey from math teacher and self-taught mixed martial artist to UFC middleweight champion.

“Me? Fight at 145? Sure thing, chief. I’ll get right on that.”

In keeping with the mantra “everything’s bigger in Texas”, Zuffa announced last night that the increasingly awesome card for UFC 136 has just gotten awesomer. In addition to the Lightweight Championship do-over between Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard, Jose Aldo will be putting his gold on the line against Featherweight newcomer Kenny Florian on October 8^th.

After a shaky first bid at 145lbs that saw Florian score a decision victory over Diego Nunes, some wise souls had recommended one more warm-up bout for KenFlo before he challenge for the belt, but the fates had other plans. A title defense against Chad Mendes was scrapped so Aldo could nurse lingering injuries, and rather than ‘Rashad’ himself on the shelf Mendes opted to take another bout in the meantime. Now recovered, Aldo will look to redeem himself from the sluggish, illness-inspired decision beatdown he put on Homminick with a return to violent form.

Another exciting addition to the card is after the jump.

(“Okay, we need a relatively short actor with a prominent facial scar who can do a believeable Portuguese accent. Just kidding, we’re gonna go with Mark Wahlberg.” Photo courtesy of Esther Lin)

Following in the footsteps of the Matt Hamill biopic Hamill, a movie based on Jose Aldo‘s life is reportedly in the works. According to Fighters Only, film director Afont Poyart — who Google has never heard of, but we’re guessing it’s this guy — is making the final tweaks to the script before starting filming, and the flick is slated to come out by early 2013. Aldo is clearly psyched about the news, telling UOL Desporte:

“It’s a dream, right? My life to turn into a movie, a story…I guess those who don’t know either me or my story, will know a little more through this film that we will make. It will tell a lot of stories that previously are known only to close friends.”

Let’s just hope the barbecue pit scene is tastefully done. As for the lead actor, Aldo has an interesting casting idea…

By Jason Moles

“We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.”

There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.

Snap-n-Pops (aka bang snaps, snappers, or whip’n pops): Corey Hill, Jason MacDonald, Razak Al-Hassan, Tim Sylvia

Call ‘em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.

Roman Candles: Clay Guida

Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.

Hatsu Hioki has officially joined the UFC, announced this morning via Twitter.  The Child of Shooto relinquished his lightweight title in late May, and we all kind of assumed that he was headed stateside.  Well, call us Nachodamus.

By now ya’ll know that Hioki  has some prime wins under his belt (something you can’t always say about fighters competing on the other side of the Pacific), including Mark Hominick (twice) and an upset over Marlon Sandro for the Sengoku featherweight strap.  Hioki hit a rough stretch in 2007, dropping consecutive decisions under the Shooto banner, but he hasn’t really lost since if you don’t count the decision loss to Michihiro Omigawa that the judges hung on him–and we don’t.

No word yet on who Hioki will face off with for his debut, but may we suggest Kenny Florian?

[RX]

(Time sure does fly…)

WEC 49 went down 1 year ago.

Why it matters:

Josh Grispi earned the next shot at WEC featherweight champ Jose Aldo with his win over LC Davis at this show held in Edmonton, Alberta. Because of an injury, Aldo had to pull out of their planned UFC 125 bout. Rather than wait for his shot, Grispi took a fight with Dustin Poirier on the January card and lost via unanimous decision. As a result, another fighter who impressed on the UFC 49 card earned the next shot at Aldo.

Mark Hominick was en route to a unanimous decision loss to fellow Canadian Yves Jabouin in Edmonton, but pulled out one of the most impressive come from behind wins in WEC history.

Stunned and dropped by a stiff right hand, Hominick weathered the ensuing ground and pound onslaught, swept Jabouin and forced a TKO stoppage via punishment from the mount.

A quick first round TKO win over teammate George Roop in his next bout earned him a shot at Aldo at UFC 129 this past April. Although he couldn’t finish the Aldo, Hominick showed the heart of a champion by fighting through a massive, disgusting hematoma to give Aldo the fight of his life and finishing the last round in dominating fashion.

(Video courtesy of Videobb/fightvideomma)

If you listened to The Bum Rush Radio Show this week (and we’re pretty sure at least some of you did, right mom?) you would know our collective feelings on the inevitability that Kenny Florian would be handed another undeserved title shot if he beat Diego Nunes at UFC 131. Well, according to UFC president Dana White, KenFlo “pretty much” has dibs on Jose Aldo when the champ returns from nursing a nagging shoulder injury.

When asked at the post-UFC 131 press conference if Florian’s win earned him a shot at Aldo, White answered succinctly, “More than likely. How’s that for confirmation?” before adding “I’ve got a lot of respect for him. He deserves a shot at the title. No doubt about it.”

(Photographic proof of how the UFC contributed to  Aldo’s injury. That’s a slam dunk insurance claim right there.)

With the UFC featherweight title picture out of focus until champ Jose Aldo heals from a nagging shoulder injury, a question that was recently brought up was what happens if Diego Nunes beats Kenny Florian Saturday night at UFC 131? Surely, he won’t fight a teammate, since that’s a faux pas in Brazil, right?

Think again.

According to Aldo’s longtime trainer and Nova Uniao founder Andre Pederneiras, “Everyone from Nova Uniao knows that if they have to fight against each other, they will.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/EskriMMA)

Shooto featherweight champion Hatsu Hioki announced today that he has relinquished his belt and that he is moving on from the Japanese promotion in search of other challenges.

“At this time, I’ve returned the Shooto world lightweight title,” Hioki told Sherdog.com via email. “There is a pride in wearing the Shooto world title, but I think that, in the near future, I would like to challenge a new stage of pride.”

According to Sherdog, the popular 24-4-2 fighter, who holds a pair of wins over UFC featherweight contender Mark Hominick as well as one a piece over Takeshi “Lion” Inoue and Marlon Sandro, is being flown in to Vancouver, BC to attend UFC 131. I think we can all connect the dots on where he’s fighting next.

(“Get a load of this guy. He calls himself ‘Money.’”)

The UFC moved swiftly to find a replacement opponent for number one UFC featherweight contender Chad Mendes when 145-pound champ Jose Aldo bowed out of a planned late summer match-up with the 26-year-old Hanford, California native earlier in the week. According to MMAJunkie, the promotion has inked Rani Yahya to face Mendes at UFC 133 August 6 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

(The “Ace”: Coming soon from Trash Talkin’ Kids.)

Thanks so much to everybody who sent in submissions for last week’s Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirt design contest. We were overwhelmed by the number — and sheer stupidity! — of your designs, and we honestly had a blast going through them. With the help of our friends at Trash Talkin’ Kids, we picked out eight finalists based on humor, creativity, and effort. To see all of the submissions, head over to facebook.com/trashtalkinkids, where they’ve uploaded the finalists plus a bunch more entries that didn’t quite make the cut.

And now we need your votes to make this thing official. Please check out the Elite 8 after the jump, and vote for your favorite in the poll at the bottom of the page. The two highest-voted designs will both be receiving actual TTK shirts. Winners will be announced Thursday. Aaaaaand go!

Mark Hominick MMA Live interview – Watch more Funny Videos

Three weeks after his unsuccessful bid for the UFC featherweight title at UFC 129, Mark Hominick was in London, Ontario, supporting his Adrenaline Training Center teammate James Haourt at MMA Live 1. Our own Brian J. D’Souza caught up with the local hero to get his thoughts on his last fight and his immediate future. Some highlights…

On his performance against Jose Aldo: “[He's] one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world, and I wasn’t supposed to get out of the first round, and if there were 30 more seconds, I’d be wearing the belt right now. It was one of those fights that like, you go back to the drawing board and there’s a few things that could have changed, but I laid my heart out on the line, I laid it in the ring, I put everything into that fight and everybody who was there knows that, and everyone who watched the fight knows that…I almost had him finished in the fifth, and it’s just that the knockdown in the third kind of took the momentum I felt I was building, and kind of took the sail out until I had to come back in the fifth.”

(That’s what happens when you spar every day with Steven Seagal.)

Heavy.com is reporting that UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo has sustained an unspecified injury that will likely push back a planned late summer title defense against Chad Mendes.

According to the story, which sites several unnamed sources who predict the minor setback wil keep Aldo out until about September, Mendes will likely take a fight in the interim. Although no potential opponents have been named at this point, one fighter who would likely be up to facing Mendes is Mark Hominick, who logged a gutsy five-round war with Aldo in April at UFC 129 in Toronto.

(“Hey you guys!!! Can I get a Baby Ruth?”)

UFC featherweight Mark Hominick was on The Fan 590 RadioMonday morning where he spoke with host Andrew Krystal about his gutsy fight at UFC 129 against Jose Aldo this past weekend.

According to “The Machine,” who says the gruesome hematoma he incurred during the bout was “merely a flesh wound,” the UFC brass were so impressed with his performance Saturday night that they have assured him that if he can put together a couple more wins, he’ll get another crack at the the promotion’s 145-pound strap.

Check out what Hominick had to say after the jump.