Steroids in MMA
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Tag: Jose Canseco

Freak Show of the Decade Alert: Jose Canseco Calls Out Shaq, Shaq Happily Accepts

(Nineteen years later, we may finally find out how effective Shaq Fu is as a martial art.)

It’s been nearly four years since former Major League Baseball slugger Jose Canseco was defeated during the opening round of DREAM’s Super Hulk Tournament, but that hasn’t stopped him from attempting to find another MMA fight. Come to think of it, that last sentence isn’t entirely accurate. Let’s try again: It’s been nearly four years since Jose Canseco decided to get his ass kicked by Hong Man Choi, yet he’s still attempting to exploit MMA like it’s a former teammate’s steroid usage.

His most recent effort involved calling out former NBA center Shaquille O’Neal via his Twitter account. Shaq — already a big MMA fan with actual training under his belt — didn’t take kindly to being called out by a snitch. At this point, you’re probably already like…

…but you really have to see Shaq’s response for yourself, available after the jump.


WTF of the Day: Jose Canseco Makes his Moobs Dance, Almost Makes a Point Somehow

The Jose Canseco have the big lady boobs and the lil mouse balls.

There’s something to be said about a drug addict who chooses to make money by exploiting his struggles with addiction, all while enabling the addictions of other people. I’m not sure if there are proper words for it, but utterly tragic, pathetic and thoroughly reprehensible are probably good places to start. Case in point: Jose Canseco, who has been dangerously addicted to anabolic steroids in the past (and possibly still is), now dedicates his time to encouraging both current and potential steroid users through a series of videos on If you’re surprised by any of this, I envy your ignorance.

Oh, and he makes his glorious man boobies dance. Did I mention that part yet? Because that happens.

Back to business though. This week, Canseco touches on the topic of which steroids are “the most awesome steroids,” which obviously are the ones that make your tits bounce, n00b. Naturally, Canseco addresses former teammates who decided not to use steroids in the unfortunately typical words of an addict who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions:

As a baseball player, if you didn’t take steroids you were just a pussy. You were just not part of the team at that time. You weren’t really trying to win. You weren’t doing everything possible to become the best baseball player out there and help your team win. It was like a sacrifice in a way, you really had to do everything possible to help your team win.


Video Tribute: The Eight Most Insane Moments in DREAM History

(“You’ll never get me Lucky Charms!”)

For nearly four years, the Japanese MMA promotion DREAM did its best to carry the mantle of PRIDE, presenting the same mix of top international talent and freak-show comic relief, all inside of a traditional ring, rather than a filthy American cage. But we were hit with some sad news this weekend as multiple sources reported that DREAM has ceased day-to-day operations, and will no longer be producing events. So as we like to do when great MMA traditions die, let’s take a look back at some of the fights that made this promotion so unique, so entertaining, and so balls-out insane…

#8: Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Melvin Manhoef
DREAM.4, 6/15/08 

Though Kazushi Sakuraba’s fame was partly based on his willingness to absorb damage from larger fighters, the level of savagery that Melvin Manhoef inflicted on him during their meeting at the Yokohama Arena probably should have convinced Saku to walk away from the sport. The moment when Manhoef drags Saku away from the ropes by his leg so he can dive in to continue the assault (see the 2:43 mark above) remains one of DREAM’s most indelible and brutal moments.

#7: Shinya Aoki vs. dumb-ass gaijin
DREAM.7, 3/8/09

Another tradition that DREAM inherited from PRIDE? Absurd mismatches. At the time of this fight, Aoki was widely considered to be a top-3 lightweight, while Gardner was an obscure 13-7 journeyman who was coming off a loss to Brian Cobb. Aoki’s domination on the mat was no surprise, but the fight became legendary for how it ended. Stuck with Aoki on his back, Gardner took advantage of a brief pause in the action — and the near-silence in the Saitama Super Arena — to wave to the crowd and shout “Hello Japan!” Aoki immediately wrapped up Gardner’s neck and choked him out, causing the crowd to break out in laughter and Bas Rutten to cry “Oh my God it is so dumb! So dumb! Why?!” Some things just can’t be explained, Bas.


Tank Abbott Continues His Reign of Dominance…We Think

(Wait, so you mean to tell me that we have to fight indoors? In a ring? Like a bunch of pampered women? Props to MiddleEasy for the find. ) 

Fresh off his decision victory over Scott Ferrozzo at ProElite: Birmingham, Tank Abbott was at it again last night, this time taking on fellow UFC pioneer Kimo Leopold in a match that made the ill-fated special rules bout between Ken Shamrock and James Toney seem like a walk in the park. Fortunately taking place inside an actual building this time — the Avalon in Hollywood, California — the bout featured three, one minute rounds, in which the competitors wore both headgear and some cartoon sized boxing gloves.


Jose Canseco’s Celebrity Boxing Career Takes Another Sad Turn; Will Face Tareq Salahi on November 5th

(Props: battlecambrah)

Jose Canceso‘s record as a celebrity boxer currently sits at 1-2-1, including a knockout loss to Vai Sikahema, a decision loss to a 60-year-old man, a tough draw against Danny Partridge, and a win (finally) against Todd Poulton, self-described as “The Heavyweight Champion of OCD.”

We’d say that the former baseball star’s next match offers him a shot at redemption, but considering his opponent, he’ll look like a loser even if he wins it. Canseco is booked to appear at a Celebrity Fight Night event on November 5th against Tareq Salahi, best known as the “White House party crasher” whose wife Michaele is a total whore.


Wednesday Morning MMA Link Club: Tom Lawlor Cuts Weight the Hard Way

("Filthy" Tom Lawlor gives an interview to Aaron Tru while getting a colonic. Luckily, the years spent training with Seth Petruzelli have prepared him for this moment. Props: truplya777)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Midseason MMA Awards: Best Knockout (MMA Fighting)

- Dana White: Vladimir Matyushenko Deserves Shot Against Jon Jones (Versus MMA Beat)

– GSP Says He’ll Retire Once He’s the Best Pound-for-Pound (Watch Kalib Run)

– FIGHT! Girl Galleries (Fight! Magazine)

– M-1 Global Is Launching Its Own TUF-Style Reality Show (LowKick)

- It’s Official: Dan Quinn vs. Aaron Brink Is Going Down August 20th (MiddleEasy)

– 5 Biggest Threats To Brock Lesnar’s Belt (

– Rusty Business: Addressing the Problem of Ring Rust in MMA (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Jose Canseco’s Celebrity Boxing Record Drops to 1-2-1 After Losing to 60-Year-Old Athletic Trainer Gary Hogan (MMA Scraps)


Chuck Liddell Works Out Naked in Most Disturbing Viral Ad of All Time

Antonio mckee highlights by Biodome10

Last night, many of us were shocked and saddened by a video floating around the ‘net that featured Chuck Liddell, completely naked, working out with his girlfriend, also completely naked. The video was notable for a number of reasons:

1) The girlfriend has been I.D.’d as Jose Canseco’s ex, Heidi Northcott. I will now pat myself on the back for my powers of observation.

2) Chuck didn’t wipe down the machine when he was done with it.

3) As CageWriter put it, “is the camera man a crazy, obsessed fan? How is this person still alive?”

4) After the video was originally taken off YouTube, it popped up on DailyMotion under the title “Antonio mckee highlights,” which is brilliant because nobody would ever think to search for that.


Jose Canseco Explains Why We Have Wars

(Give Cofield credit, he isn’t afraid to just put it out there and say, ‘Why are you doing this?’ in the tone of a man trying to talk some sense into his alcoholic cousin.)

Sometimes I wonder if Jose Canseco is one of the dumbest former pro athletes out there, or if he is so brilliant that he merely seems dumb to those of us who can’t fully grasp the depth of his wisdom. Listening to the guy explain why we have wars and how those wars are just the large scale version of the petty criticism we perpetrate against one another on a daily basis, I could feel my mind slowing being blown into millions of tiny pieces. Then he said that Herschel Walker’s insistence on not fighting him was a “negotiating ploy,” and I was forced to completely disregard my theory of Canseco as an unappreciated genius.

You see, unlike Canseco, Walker is not desperate for cash and attention. The guy donated his Strikeforce payday to a church. Typically, guys who are fighting for charity do not engage in negotiating ploys to drive their price tag up. If they wanted their charity to have more money, they’d just give it to them personally. If they didn’t have that kind of money to give, they probably wouldn’t be fighting for charity.

Is any of this getting through, Jose? Are you even still reading? You became distracted by a dog with a puffy tail midway through the first paragraph, didn’t you? You know what, just forget it. You keep after Herschel Walker. After all, you’ve been doing this longer than him.


At Least We Know That Jose Canseco Is Watching Some Actual MMA Training

After watching this video of Jose Canseco in the gym with Nick Diaz and his boys, we still don’t know whether the former slugger is really learning anything about fighting.  All we know is that he has seen what real training looks like when professionals do it, and that he had the foresight to make sure that somebody was shooting video of him while he witnessed it. 

Honestly, this might be a more interesting video if we could remove Canseco from the frame altogether.  Then you’d just have Nick Diaz explaining some of the finer points of the clinch game, which is pretty awesome.  If that’s not enough to hold your attention, there’s also some Fifty Cent to bob your head to.  See?  Something for everyone.  Except Jose Canseco.  He only watches videos if Jose Canseco is in them, which results in him watching a lot of really annoying videos.  Or unintentionally hilarious ones…


Someone Better Tell Jose Canseco What a Mean-Mug Is, And Quick

(Something tells me this photo wasn’t Nick’s idea.)

The above photo of Jose Canseco smokin’ and jokin’ with the Diaz boys at their Lodi, California academy comes to us courtesy of, the website that would like you to know that you are, in fact, a punk bitch.  Looks like the unholy union between the Cesar Gracie team and baseball’s most infamous attention whore/steroid snitch is now a reality, at least in some form. 

We were holding out hope that Nick Diaz’s well-established dislike for exactly the type of jock asshole that Canseco is might prevent him from letting Canseco use the squad as a stepping stone in his ongoing attempt to turn MMA into some sort of half-assed celebrity boxing.  No such luck.  Now we just have to pray that one of the Diaz’s breaks his arm in a training "accident" and sends him back to pleading for tanning salon endorsement deals on Twitter, where he belongs.

Strikeforce, if you’re reading, just so we’re clear about this, DO NOT SIGN JOSE CANSECO TO FIGHT FOR YOU.  Herschel Walker was one thing.  He took it seriously, said all the right things, and even though the quality of his fight proved exactly why you don’t put 0-0 fighters on TV, we’re willing to overlook it.  But Canseco?  No way, homie.  He just wants a quick buck and cheap attention.  Stay away.  We cannot stress this enough.