(And for my next trick, I will enter a state of comatose using only a roided man’s fists and sheer determination.) 

On the heels of a devastating one-punch knockout at the hands of Muhammed Lawal in September, it looks like Roger Gracie will make his moderately-anticipated middleweight debut at an upcoming Strikeforce event in July. Rejoice. Across the cage from the Jiu-Jitsu phenom will be none other than UFC veteran and member of the undead army, Keith “The Dean of Mean” Johnson Jardine. Jardine has had a rough run of things as of late, dropping six of his last nine including a recent ill-fated title bid against Luke Rockhold in January.

But a matchup with Gracie is one that Jardine stands a better chance of winning than any fight in recent memory, believe it or not. Jardine has never been submitted in professional competition, and Gracie’s complete lack of the kind of striking game that has felled Jardine in the past might just make for a victory over a big name that has eluded “The Dean” since his UFC 89 split-decision win over Brandon Vera. In fact, the closest Jardine has even come to scoring an upset victory in recent years was his Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Daley performance that saw him fight to a majority draw with the heavily favored Gegard Mousasi.

Though it was previously reported that Gracie was on his way up to the UFC, those rumors were quickly squashed by UFC President Dana White, who stated, “[expletive] that [expletive] you [expletive] [expletive] Samuel L. Jackson [expletive] smartphone [expletive] hotspacho [expletive].” Something like that. *

In other fight booking news…

(Phil Davis: The UFC’s leading producer of new middleweights.)

By Ben Goldstein

“When in doubt, drop a weight class” — that’s been the mantra for many MMA fighters who have hit rough patches in their careers. Of course, shaving 10-20 pounds off your body is no guarantee of future success, and it occasionally leaves fighters worse off than when they started. Following a week that saw Demian Maia, Dan Miller, and Nik Lentz all decide to seek their fortunes against smaller opponents, we decided to round up a few notable fighters who revitalized themselves at a lighter weight, and a few that became cautionary tales for weight-dropping. Read on, and let us know which UFC fighters should consider taking the weight-class plunge…

The Good

Dominick Cruz

After racking up a 9-0 record — not to mention belts at lightweight and featherweight for the Total Combat promotion — Dominick Cruz challenged Urijah Faber for the WEC featherweight title in March 2007. Unfortunately, Cruz fell into a guillotine choke and tapped at the 1:38 mark of round 1. Cruz addressed the setback by dropping to bantamweight the following year, and has since gone on another 9-0 run at 135, collected the WEC and UFC bantamweight belts, and exacted revenge against his arch-nemesis, the California Kid. We’ll see if he can make it two in a row against Faber in June, but for now, it seems that dropping to bantamweight was the best move of Dominick’s career.

(This is when we’d normally tell you to keep your chin up, Keith, but that seems to be what got you here in the first place.) 

Perhaps this might not come as a shocking revelation to most of the Potato Nation, but Strikeforce is in some bad shape. Like, Bubba on the beaches of Vietnam kind of shape. Let’s put it this way, if we were gambling men, and someone were taking bets on its probable death, we’d bet everything we own on death.

What are we jawing on about? Well, the Nevada State Athletic Commission just released its figures for “Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine” today, which took place at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada on January 7th, and the live gate for the event totaled LESS THAN HALF OF WHAT ROBBIE LAWLER WAS PAID TO FIGHT. As ridiculous as it may seem, Lawler did manage to knock out Aldan Amagov with the power of his testicles alone, so the somewhat exuberant compensation he received seems fair in this case. But boy does it not look good for Strikeforce.

Hauling in an abysmal 68,805 dollars, “Rockhold vs. Jardine” achieved a final attendance of just under 2000 (1992) with only 927 tickets sold. The other 1,065 tickets were comped, and 727 tickets remained unsold. The total fighter purse for this event was an even $566,000.

(“Really? That’s it?”)

The Nevada State Athletic Commission  released the salary amounts from Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine event at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas and it appears that Robbie Lawler was the big winner of the night, taking home more than a quarter of the night’s $566,000 in total purses.

Lawler was paid a flat rate of $150,000 for his first-round TKO over Adian Amagov.

To put things into perspective, the total purse for UFC 141 was $1369714.28, or nearly two-and-a-half times as much.

Former Strikeforce light heavyweight champ Muhammad “King Mo” Lawal picked up the second highest paycheck of the night with $95,000 for his second round KO of Lorenz Larkin, while middleweight champ Luke Rockhold netted the night’s third highest amount with $90,000, including a $25,000 win bonus, for his first-round drubbing of Keith Jardine.

Tyron Woodley, whose conservative lay and pray victory over Canadian Jordan Mein, took home $60,000 for his non-performance — half of which was made up of a win bonus.

Check out what the other fighters on the card were paid after the jump.

(Luke Rockhold vs. Keith Jardine full fight video via mmanewsdog)

In case you missed the show on Saturday night, take a look at the main card’s three knockouts. More after the jump…

Related:
- ‘Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine’ — Live Results + Commentary
- ‘Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine’ Aftermath: Going through the Motions, as Usual

In a disturbing instance of foreshadowing, Scott Coker waits way too long to intervene. Props: Five Ounces of Pain

We’ll be honest: It’s getting pretty hard to write Strikeforce aftermath articles anymore. With a Strikeforce event, you already know that the favorite is going to win. You already know that the champions have run out of legitimate challengers. Every aftermath piece we’ve written for a Strikeforce event since the UFC’s acquisition of the organization demonstrates this. Essentially, the organization is going through the motions, yet we have to find a way to write something original about it.

Heading into Rockhold vs. Jardine, it was pretty clear that the organization was giving Jardine a title shot out of convenience. He was healthy, available and had a name that fans recognized. Because Strikeforce isn’t planning on growing as an organization, those qualifications were enough to earn him a title shot against Middleweight Champion Luke Rockhold, despite never having competed at middleweight before. The fight didn’t come off as a legitimate title fight- it came off as a litmus test for Rockhold.

Keith Jardine gave us the same performance that we’ve come to expect from him. His awkward movement and looping punches seemed to confuse Rockhold at first, but once Luke Rockhold managed to figure out Jardine’s style he controlled the fight. While looking like a guy who hadn’t weighed 185 pounds since the ninth grade didn’t help Keith Jardine’s cause, it’s hard to imagine that a less fatigued Dean of Mean would have done significantly better. Luke Rockhold is the younger, more diverse fighter. Jardine is the same fighter that had been figured out years ago, except now he’s in the twilight of his career. A prospect that’s ready for the big leagues can beat an opponent like Keith Jardine, and that’s exactly what Rockhold did.

(Worst. Charity bachelor auction. Ever. / Photo via Strikeforce)

Okay, let’s go through this one more time: Luke Rockhold is Strikeforce’s middleweight champion. Keith Jardine is the former UFC light-heavyweight contender who Rousey’d his way into a title shot at 185. They’ll be fighting in the main event of tonight’s Strikeforce card on Showtime. Also, King Mo returns against Lorenz “The Monsoon” Larkin, Robbie Lawler faces off against Russkie McFancykicks, and Jordan Mein will try to snap Tyron Woodley’s undefeated record with those bionic elbows of his.

I fully expect tonight’s liveblog turnout to be more of an “intimate” affair, but that doesn’t mean we won’t do our best to give you a good show. Round-by-round results from the “Rockhold vs. Jardine” main card broadcast will be piling up after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET, courtesy of CagePotato liveblog up-and-comer Steve Silverman. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments section. Thanks for coming, guys.

I’m sorry, is that Mauro Renallo or J.T.??? (Video: Youtube/AllElbows)

If you’ve been sleeping on tonight’s Strikeforce event, we’re not going to throw stones. When even the defending Middleweight Champion has trouble getting excited for his bout, how can you be expected to? And though the MMA world may be talking ‘Strikeforce’ this morning, it has very little to do with what’s going down at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino this evening.

But the truth is that Showtime subscribers (and you filthy, rotten streamers) can rightfully expect a night of action packed fights. This card has a great mix of seasoned veterans and wildly unorthodox strikers, and last night they all hit the scales. We won’t dangle any false promises of funny weigh-in costumes or pushing-and-shoving; there was little in the form of excitement at these proceedings. On the bright side, everyone (eventually) hit their mark.

Weigh-In results after the jump. Make sure you come back tonight—we’ll be liveblogging this card like nobody’s business.

(Props: YouTube.com/Strikeforce)

Strikeforce held a press conference yesterday plugging this weekend’s “Rockhold vs. Jardine” card at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Some highlights…

- Keith Jardine hasn’t weighed 185 pounds since the ninth grade.

- King Mo plans to “put them thangs” on Lorenz Larkin. Man, I hope that doesn’t mean what we think it means.

- Scott Coker thinks Robbie Lawler vs. Adlan Amagov won’t make it out of the second round. As usual, Lawler is as silent as a cigar-store Indian.

After the jump: A highlight reel of the fighters in action. The editor wisely chose to use a clip of Jardine’s TKO of Forrest Griffin from 2006 rather than his sole appearance in Strikeforce.

(Props: allelbows)

Four months after beating the Strikeforce middleweight belt off of Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza, Luke Rockhold returns to action this Saturday night in a title defense that even he isn’t that psyched about. But considering his 7-0 stretch under the Strikeforce banner — with six of those wins coming in the first round — it’s clear that Rockhold’s biggest accomplishments are still in front of him. If you’re not familiar with the AKA rising star, check out this “Fight Journal” video from allelbows, in which Rockhold makes some media rounds, discusses the downfall of Brock Lesnar, has a run-in with a very humble Keith Jardine, and shows how he puts his championship belt to sleep every night.

Okay, maybe it’s not the card of the year — and four of the five matches are undeniable squash matches — but if you’ll be around on Saturday, come by for our liveblog of the Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine Showtime broadcast, starting at 10 p.m. ET.

(Props to HDNetFights for the vid. Fight starts at the 4:20 mark.) 

I’m going to come right out and say it; Jim Wallhead may be the pound-for-pound scariest looking dude in mixed martial arts today. Say what you want about Keith Jardine, Tank Abbott, or even Ruben “Nightwolf” Villareal (lolz!), but none of them hold a candle to Wallhead, who looks like the bastard love child of General Vogel and Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. All the more terrifying is the fact that Wallhead actually has the skills to back up his grizzled demeanor. Currently 9-1 in his past ten fights, including wins over Frank Trigg, Che Mills, and Ryan Thomas, Wallhead’s career furthers the theory that anyone nicknamed “Judo” is one bad mofo who should not be tested.

(Unlicensed plastic surgery: It rarely works out the way you want it to.)

As we mentioned yesterday, Strikeforce is clinging on to life despite the fact that their biggest stars have either been poached or are on hiatus from fighting, and their championship belts now have less legitimacy than that chick’s doo-doo back tattoo. So how sketchy have things gotten over there? This sketchy:

Strikeforce middleweight champion Luke Rockhold is slated to defend his belt against former UFC veteran Keith Jardine on Jan. 7, MMA Fighting has confirmed with sources close to the fight. The title fight is expected to headline the organization’s first event at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino…Rockhold was expected to meet Tim Kennedy in his first title defense, but according to sources, Kennedy couldn’t commit to the fight due to an undisclosed injury.

Travis Fulton vs. Jeremy Bullock: just what the hell did they expect to happen?

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

Keeping those words from the first collection in our hearts, we’ve assembled the second installment of moments in MMA that some of us (mostly the athletes involved) would like to forget. The rest of us, we want to see those moments saved forever, preferably in a graphic format that loops endlessly.

First, get your mind right with a fight video from the dark ages of MMA, when any human with a pair of pajamas and some Tae Kwon Do could try that crazy ultimate fightin’ stuff. It was 1998, and Travis Fulton had already had over sixty fights. His opponent was Jeremy Bullock, a skinny guy that probably really liked Bruce Lee movies. Make sure to watch Bullock’s interview, where he shares his keys to victory with everyone, including Fulton. Also watch the fight, where Fulton shares his love for a good pro wrestling-style chokeslam with everyone, including Bullock. (Reportedly, Bullock thinks Bruce Lee is a fucking asshole these days.)

Once you’re done with that piece of history, come on in and we’ll share more moments of infamy, awkwardness, stupidity, and shame. It’s Fail GIF time, kids; let’s party.

As always, big ups, props, and mad respec’ to the GIF masters and the websites that host them: Chris Bunch o’ Numbers, Uncle Justice, Damn Severn, Zombie Prophet, Caposa, UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO. If we forgot you, it’s not on purpose.

(“My suit? No, it’s not Mr. Big and Tall, it’s Brooks Brothers. I got a Zuffa corporate card now.”)

The California State Athletic Commission today revealed the salaries from last weekend’s Diaz vs. Daly event in Stockton, and for the most part the fighters from the card were pretty well compensated.

The top money-earner of the night was welterweight champ Nick Diaz who netted $175,000 for his beatdown of Paul Daley. For his effort, Daley took home $65,000. Tied for second place in the night’s salary rankings are Strikeforce lightweight kingpin Gilbert Melendez and former light heavyweight champ Gegard Mousasi who both took home $150,000 for their efforts. The disparity between the take-home pay of Melendez and Mousasi’s opponents was interesting. Tatsuya Kawajiri picked up $97,612.50 for eating a handful of Melendez’s “hellbows” while Keith Jardine made just $25,000 for taking Mousasi the distance.

(A fond look back at Couture vs. Sylvia @ UFC 68, via MMATrailers4)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- The Cast of UFC “129: St-Pierre vs. Shields” Promo Video (5thRound)

- The Top 5 Most Surprising Falls From Grace in MMA (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Paul Daley Thought His Bout Was Stopped a Little Early (MMA-Scraps)

- Dr. Phil Deals With a Kid Who ‘Trains UFC’ by Getting Punched in the Face (MiddleEasy)

- Keith Jardine Explains Why He Thinks He Beat Gegard Mousasi (MMA Fighting)

- Exclusive Interview With American Kickboxing Academy Owner/Head Trainer Javier Mendez (LowKick)

- Anatomy of a Press Credential (MMA Convert)

- Does Gilbert Melendez’s Latest Win Make Him the #1 Lightweight in the World? (Fight Magazine)

- Nick Thompson Retiring From MMA to Focus on Family, Legal Career (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Former President of the American Medical Association Says Maine Should Be ‘Ashamed’ for Sanctioning MMA (Versus MMA Beat)

It’s just as well. Frankly “011-44-115″ is harder to remember than “209″ (Pic: Strikeforce.com)

The first major Strikeforce event under the Zuffa/Forza banner delivered a full night of action and first round stoppages, with a little of the obligatory ‘Majority Draw’ bullshit mixed in for good measure. While it was a typical Strikeforce show from top to bottom, the UFC hardly tried to keep a low profile at the event. Dana White and Lorenzo Fertitta were both in attendance, the cage floor advertised the upcoming GSP-Shields fight, and talk of cross-promotional bouts peppered the event from the commentator booth to the stupid text polls. Maybe it’s just us, but there are far more important issues to vote on.

After years of watching Nick Diaz win the stand-up battle against “better strikers”, is it now time for us all to admit that he is the better striker? In true Diaz fashion, he did exactly what he said he would do and exactly what the media and fans alike discouraged- stand up with a dangerous striker. Like a successful version of Jorge Gurgel, Diaz has built his mystique and fanbase upon his refusal to utilize his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt and his unquenchable thirst to punch dudes in the face. While victorious once again, that doesn’t mean he dominated the fight. Daley’s power was a known commodity headed into this bout, which made the both the risk and the reward to stand and bang with him all the greater for Diaz. The two exchanged heavily throughout the one-round fight, and twice “Semtex” dropped Diaz to the floor in what looked like the beginning of the end for the pride of Stockton.

(Well, that explains it.)

When message board commenters gush about how much better The Ultimate Fighter alumni are than the rest of the fighters in their respective division, we typically just give the little TUF noobs a proverbial pinch on the cheek and dismiss their uninformed opinions as being asinine as a result of the impeccable job the UFC and SPIKE did convincing them its true.

But when a so-called MMA expert like Franklin McNeil continually gives the edge to fighters who have appeared on the reality show in bouts against fighters who are widely considered more skilled and are thus ranked accordingly, it makes us shake our heads in disbelief that ESPN, the leader in sports coverage, gives this guy a forum to spew his skewed view of the sport under the guise of journalism. We may print a ton of opinion pieces here, but CagePotato isn’t proclaiming to be the CNN of MMA coverage and we’re clear in stating that editorials contain (sometimes cynically humorous) bias and are not to be taken as fact or even seriously in some cases. ESPN, however, is a different animal than CP.

Josh Gross, you have our sympathy.

TROLL POWER!

While we were busy thinking of Strikeforce related April Fool’s Day pranks, it turns out that Strikeforce was busy finding a replacement for Mike Kyle. Due to the timing of the announcement, I’ve been skeptical to report it as real news. However, it appears that Keith Jardine will be stepping in for Mike Kyle on April 9^th to fight Gegard Mousasi.

Go figure.

(Well sure, if you need advice on how to beat up an overhyped light-heavyweight, Antonio Silva’s definitely your man. Kidding! Only kidding! / Props: twitter.com/SUGARASHADEVANS via MiddleEasy)

Don’t know about y’all, but I already miss the days when the Rashad Evans/Jon Jones situation was merely awkward, and not openly hostile. The gloves finally came off yesterday when Evans gave an interview to BloodyElbow in which he told everyone what he really thinks about the new UFC light-heavyweight champion, and reveals that he never wanted to train with Jones in the first place. Some highlights…

On Jones’s change of heart before the Shogun fight: “I mean it’s one thing to say something in an interview but the least you could have picked up the phone and been like, ‘man I did an interview today and they kind of put me on the spot with a rough question and I answered it this way.’ At least give me the heads up so that way I know and not look at it if he’s Judas or something. You know who Judas is? That interview was some backstabbing s**t but now it’s like whatever because now I know the game he is playing. Then for Greg to sit back and say he doesn’t want to have anything to do with it….why not? You f**kin’ created the situation. Be his coach and be in his corner. That’s what you want so do it. I don’t care if he coaches against me. It doesn’t even matter.”

[Ed. note: Yeah, I think a guy with a New Testament scripture inked on his chest is pretty familiar with Judas. In all of the verbal-trash that will be slung around in the lead-up to this fight, this is probably the line that will stick with — and motivate — Jones the most.]

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMAScrapsRadio)

What a difference a year makes.

Less than 365 days ago, newly-crowned UFC light heavyweight champ Jon Jones appeared on MMAScraps Radio and told  Pat Barry, who was then the co-host of the show, that there was no way, no how he would ever fight a teammate, especially not “his brother Rashad Evans.”

Jones’ change of heart has caused a rift in Albuquerque which caused Evans to move his camp from Team Jackson to Imperial Athletics in Boca Raton Florida, where he will train with displaced former members of American Top Team who have set up shop there including Gesias “JZ” Cavalcante, Jorge Santiago and the Villefort brothers.

In the interview, Jones backed Evans recent revelation that he had to agree to never fight any of his Jackson teammates as a condition of joining the revered fight team — a clause he later publicly reneged on prompting the former champ to accept the offer to face his heir apparent and former training partner. Interestingly, even when Barry tried at length to convince Jones that fighting a teammate wasn’t a big deal, “Bones” didn’t waver in his stance that it simply wouldn’t happen. He even went so far as to say that if pressed by the UFC to fight Evans or Keith Jardine, he would find a way out of the bout even if it meant faking an injury.

Check out the transcript of the interview after the jump.

Last night in Albuquerque, Keith Jardine picked up a TKO victory over Austin native Aron Lofton at Double Impact. Jardine dominated Lofton throughout the fight before slamming him and punching him out three and a half minutes into the fight. The fight marks Jardine’s second straight victory since being bounced from the UFC back in June. Granted, a victory over an 8-4 prospect who hasn’t fought anyone we’ve heard of doesn’t exactly prove much. But at least he’ll probably get paid for this, which is an improvement from his last fight.

Also victorious last night was professional boxer turned mixed martial artist Holly Holm, who made her MMA debut against Christina Domke. Domke managed to take down and mount Holm early, but once Holm got back on her feet this one wasn’t close. As expected, the decorated boxer outstruck Domke, punctuating her combinations with hard leg kicks. Holm knocked down Domke with a leg kick at almost four minutes into the second, giving her the stoppage. Apparently, Holm turned around after flooring Domke expecting a mandatory eight count. Isn’t that adorable?

Highlights of Holm’s victory from the local news after the jump:

CagePotato.com Video Interview with UFC vet Keith Jardine – Watch more Funny Videos

Our video reporter at large, Sal Mora recently caught up with former UFC light heavyweight standout Keith Jardine at his recently opened Mean1 MMA & Fitness gym in Albuquerque, NM and broached a number of topics with "The Dean of Mean."

Jardine gave us the scoop on what went down in the Dominican Republic during the nightmare Nemesis Fighting show on December 11 and also outlined his goals for 2011, which include stringing together a few solid wins and making his way back to the UFC. He recently helped establish PaytheFighters.com, a not-for-profit website whose purpose is to raise money to pay all of the short changed fighters on the Nemesis card.

(Shinya Aoki tries to hide his disgust next to kickboxer/cosplayer Yuichiro Nagashima, who he’ll be facing in a strange mixed-rules bout at Dynamite!! 2010. Though we suppose any match against Nagashima could be described as "strange, mixed-rules.")

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Tito Ortiz vs. Lil’ Nog Will Now Headline UFC Fight Night 24 in Seattle (MMA Convert)

– ‘UFC 127: Penn vs. Fitch’ in Sydney Ties Sellout Record (Versus MMA Beat)

– WEC 53: Five Fights To Make (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Clay Guida: Livin’ in an RV Down by the River [VIDEO] (FightMagazine)

– While His Management Negotiates, Fedor Emelianenko’s Legacy Suffers (MMA Fighting)

– Keith Jardine Gets the Help of the US Secret Service to Prosecute Nemesis Fighting (MiddleEasy)

– Five Reasons Why Jake Shields Will Beat Georges St. Pierre (Or Not) (LowKick)

– Roxanne Modafferi Discusses Fight With Hitomi Akano at Sengoku’s New Year’s Event (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Eddie Bravo Breaks Down What Went Wrong in Dustin Hazelett’s Loss to Mark Bocek (MMA Scraps)

– The MMA Year In Review Part 1: Randy Couture, Herschel Waker, James Toney and More (SBNation.com/MMA)

(“Nemesis MMA” was the worst thing to happen to Keith Jardine since … well, whatever the last thing that happened to Keith Jardine was. PicProps: EstherLin/SharkFights)

If you were paying attention to our report on Tuesday – or following Ben Askren on Twitter, which we can only assume you absolutely are – then you had an inkling that last weekend’s independent “Nemesis MMA” show in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic was something of a disaster. Truth is, “disaster” doesn’t even begin to cover it. From accusations that Keith Jardine was greased-up in the main event to reports that paychecks started bouncing as soon as the athletes returned to the First World, it was clear from the get-go this thing was gonna be a mess. Brother, we had no idea.

MMA Weekly gets the scoop straight from Paul Buentello and Eliot Marshall, who were both “winners” at the event. Now, we know what you’re thinking: Shady independent MMA promoters stocking a show in the DR with semi-recognizable talent and promising a “four-day, all-inclusive, world-class experience in paradise?”  What could possibly go wrong, right? Well, tons of shit actually, when you don’t have an athletic commission (or anyone at all) looking after health and safety issues. Get a good look Libertarians, this is the world you want to live in …

("Let’s make this quick, I gotta be back underneath my bridge in two hours." / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

Former UFC vet Keith Jardine snapped a five-fight losing streak last night at the postponed Nemesis MMA: Global Invasion event in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, where he scored a unanimous decision victory over submission specialist Francisco "Kiko" France. It would have been a celebratory moment, if not for the peripheral weirdness that surrounded the show. As Ben Askren tweeted last night: 

"Just talked to [Kiko] he said nemesis was a complete mess. No judges. Jardine was greased. His check bounced. Doesn’t get much worse."

Which of course begs the question, how does one lose a decision in a fight with no judges? The greasing thing could be sour grapes, but it’s always notable when a Greg Jackson-associated fighter is accused of lubing up, considering that so many of them have been accused of that particular cheat in the past. (See: Georges St. Pierre, Nate Marquardt, Roger Huerta, Rashad Evans, Diego Sanchez.)

(Bryan Caraway and Miesha Tate as Dexter and some chick who’s about to get murdered. For more MMA fighter Halloween costume photos, hit up FiveOuncesofPain.)

– The Korean Zombie Vows Never To Fight ‘Zombie Style’ Again (MMA Convert)

– Must-See: Front Kick to the Chin Knockout (MMA Scraps)

– Faber The Key To Bantamweight Success In The UFC (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Manny Gamburyan: ‘WEC Fighters Deserve To Be In The UFC’ (SBNation.com/MMA)

– Scott Coker: Melendez vs. Aoki 2 in Works for New Years Eve in Japan (LowKick)

– The Top Ten Audience Reactions in MMA, Vol. 2 (MiddleEasy)

– Mike Brown Campaigning for WEC 53 Fight (Versus MMA Beat)

– The Method to Our Madness: FIGHT! Rankings Explained (FightMagazine)

– Keith Jardine’s Next Fight Postponed by Tropical Storm Tomas (MMA Fighting)

("Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? To me, that’s the definition of ‘warrior‘." / Photo courtesy of allelbows.)

When you’re on a five-fight losing streak like former UFC light-heavyweight contender Keith Jardine, there’s two ways you can approach your situation. 1) You can take a few months off to completely re-assess your skills, weaknesses, and motivation. Or, 2) You can get back in the cage as soon as possible in a desperate attempt to wash off the stink of failure. The Dean of Mean, God help him, is going for option two.

Just two months after his demoralizing loss to Trevor Prangley at Shark Fights 13, Keith Jardine will take on Francisco "Kiko" France in the main event of "MMA Global Invasion," which will be held November 13 at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. (Props to MMAFighting for the heads-up.) France is a 6-1 light-heavyweight who has claimed all of his victories by submission, including four by arm-triangle choke. He’s competed for various organizations in Missouri and Mississippi; most notably, he appeared on the undercard of Strikeforce: Heavy Artillery, where he finished Lee Brousseau by first-round rear-naked choke.

(If you ask me to do the Techno Viking dance one more time, I’m shoving that glove up your ass.)

When Keith Jardine lost his Shark Fights debut against Trevor Prangley last weekend, effectively racking up his fifth straight loss, it didn’t seem like things could get much worse for the struggling former UFC light heavyweight.

It appears it did.

Jardine has been suspended indefinitely pending a disciplinary hearing for allegedly shoving a Texas Combative Sports Program official prior to his main event fight Saturday night.

(Alexander vs. Sokoudjou, where it appears the referee briefly considers letting Soko get beaten to death before finally stepping in to stop the fight. VidProps: ZombieProphetMMA)

Early reviews of last night’s Shark Fights 13 broadcast seem mostly positive, after Trevor Prangley, Houston Alexander and Paul Daley all notched wins. Also, “broadcasters” Don Frye and Bas Rutten said a bunch of crazy stuff live on pay-per-view. Especially Frye, who — after claiming that he threatened Shark Fights promoters with death if they didn’t put him on the show — reportedly dropped at least one F-bomb, made jokes about beating his wife and then compared the whole thing to an extended session of violent and satisfying coitus.

Basically, it was the kind of performance that, in any other sport, would cause a major scandal, Frye’s immediate firing and the issuing of a vague and halfhearted apology on Sunday morning. In independent MMA, it’s just par for the course.

"That was like two hours of hard, rough sex,” Frye reportedly said to close out the PPV. “I need a shot of tequila and a cigarette now."

C’mon Don, like you weren’t doing shots of tequila the whole time.

(Props: picturelab1)

Whether or not Shark Fights 13 is worth $29.99 of your pay-per-view budget is up to you to decide. But you have to admit, the prospect of Keith Jardine, Sokoudjou, Houston Alexander, and Paul Daley on the same card is pretty damn compelling, especially on a weekend when nothing else is going on. After four straight losses in the UFC, Jardine calls his fight with Trevor Prangley this Saturday the beginning of his comeback. A strong performance from Paul Daley against veteran Jorge Masvidal might help Semtex get back in the UFC’s good graces as well. (Yeah, we know he was banned from the Octagon for life, but so was Karo Parisyan, and all Karo had to do was agree not to screw Dana White any more.) And sure, the Assassin vs. the African Assassin? Should be a classic banger, unless Houston decides to dance around in circles again.

Check out the extended video trailer for "Shark Fights 13: Jardine vs. Prangley" above, in which a cast of fighters and analysts (and Don Frye) break down the event. And if you’re an MMA FightPicker supporter, please head on over to fightpicker.cagepotato.com or apps.facebook.com/fightpicker to make your picks for the ten-fight card. The pool questions are after the jump. Note: Due to injuries, Drew McFedries and Marcus Hicks have dropped off the card and have been replaced by Danillo Villefort and Daniel Straus. The event’s preliminary card will be streamed on Sherdog.