(Torres poses with victim Yoshiro Maeda after their epic battle last June. Photo courtesy of koolpaw.)

#1 bantamweight /#5 pound-for-pound fighter Miguel Torres will reportedly make his next title defense at WEC 40, which will be held April 5th in Chicago; the venue will be announced soon. Unsurprisingly, his opponent will be Brian Bowles (7-0, all wins by stoppage), who clinched his #1 contender status last month by choking out Will Ribeiro at WEC 37 — the same event where Torres retained his bantamweight strap by beating the tar out of Manny Tapia. Ferocious local support should be behind Torres, who lives and trains in East Chicago, Indiana, and made his name by competing in small shows in the area. WEC 40 will also feature another bantamweight match between undefeated Joseph Benavidez and Jeff Curran, who is dropping a weight class after taking consecutive losses at featherweight to Urijah Faber and Mike Brown. The winner of the Torres/Bowles fight will likely take on the winner of the Benavidez/Curran fight in a title scrap later this year.

Remember, WEC 38 goes down this Sunday, headlined by Varner/Cerrone and Faber/Pulver II, and WEC 39 is scheduled for March 1st, featuring Mike Brown vs. Leonard Garcia and Carlos Condit vs. Brock Larson.

In other important non-UFC matchup news…

(‘Sup.  Can we talk?)

Hey Ken.  Do you mind if I call you Ken?  Awesome.  Look, Ken, it’s about this Tim Sylvia stuff.  I’m concerned.  I know, I know.  Your management said you weren’t interested, and I was glad to hear it.  But then I heard that these Xp3 people are pressing the issue, planning to put you two into a pay-per-view bout in the spring of ’09.  Pay-per-view, Ken.  

The reason I’m concerned is because I think I know how this will play out.  First you’ll say no, then Big Tim will launch some half-assed personal assault against you in the media, and that’s when, easily infuriated as you are, you’ll give in.  Also, there’s money involved.  You know how you get when you’re mad and there’s money.  It isn’t pretty.

But Ken, I’m here to tell you that no matter how much you’re tempted – and you will be tempted – you can’t take this fight.  It’s like the sirens’ song: you’ve just got to tie yourself down and resist it, because it will only result in ruin.  Don’t believe me?  Well here are five good reasons why it’s a horrible idea.  Please, take a look.

1. You’ll lose…again.

I know everyone said the same thing about the Kimbo Slice fight that you had to pull out of.  And while I think they were probably right then, they’re definitely right now.  With Kimbo you had a reasonable shot to get him down and submit him.  You have much less of a shot against Sylvia.  His takedown defense is good and his jiu-jitsu is solidly in the ‘aiiiight’ range.  So he’ll just stand at a distance and hit you with those weird, lanky arms of his until you fall down.  Then he’ll act like he’s the king of the world and you’ll complain to the ref that it was an early stoppage.  It will be a huge mess.

(Photo courtesy of Tim-Sylvia.com)

Tim Sylvia, who has been laying low since his 36-second humiliation at the hands of Fedor Emelianenko in July, may return to competition in a month — on the other side of the world. According to a new report on Sherdog, Sylvia’s manager Monte Cox is angling to get him booked at either DREAM/K-1′s "Dynamite!!" event on New Year’s Eve, or Sengoku 7 on January 4th. Cox said that Sylvia has been granted a "certificate of eligibility" to participate in either promotion, and confirmed that he won’t be a part of Affliction’s second show on January 24th. No word yet on who the Maine-iac might be facing in Japan; as he told Sherdog, "I don’t think anyone ever knows until about a week before they fight."

But there is somebody that Timmy does have his eyes on: None other than MMA cautionary tale Ken Shamrock. As Sylvia tells it, “I was supposed to fight Ken Shamrock December 20…in a small show called XP3 Promotions. I believe in Texas, but it’s postponed to February now." But why on Earth would Sylvia want to fight a 44-year-old light-heavyweight who’s lost seven of his last eight fights? Well:

(“The belt, the flannel, and the bible — only these three things are sacred.” Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

In an effort to get more of you bastards walking around as human billboards for CagePotato.com, we’re going to start giving away CP “Hall of Fame” t-shirts to our two favorite comments of the week. (Well, out of the ones we actually read, at least.) This week’s honorees are:

Krazy Kracker on “Paulo Filho Has No Excuse”: This is no laughing matter you guys. Earlier tonight Filho was complaining of chest pains and was rushed to the nearest emergency room. After several tests doctors have comfirmed that instead of a heart, Paulo has a gigantic clitoris pumping pure estrogen through his veins. The flow of estrogen can only be slowed by wearing sleeveless flannel shirts and resting on your back once every minute. Usually cutting weight is no problem if he can time his fights into that five day window all clitoris owners have once a month, where he can purge himself of roughly ten pounds of pesky blood, but Hurricane Ike threw a wrench in his plans. Without being whipped into a PMS induced rage, we saw his true colors… a typical moody bitch, yelling at someone to do chores from the other room, looking for rich men to lay at MMA events and falling into missionary position whenever a man gets within three feet. A sad day for the sport indeed. According to Filho’s manager “All we need is four days, a lot of chocolate, sweatpants and a copy of Sleepless in Seattle and Paulo will be back in the cage the THIRD week of any month you’d like.”

(Ken Shamrock: master of the silly face staredown.)

Frank Shamrock won’t stop talking about how much he wants to fight his older brother. In fact, the older and slower Ken Shamrock becomes, the more Frank seems to want a bout with him. Weird. Now the adopted brothers are telling ESPN.com that the bout is basically a done deal, while the ever-questionable Head of Operations for EliteXC, Jeremy Lappen, sounds more cautious.

The reasons EliteXC will probably end up making this fight are obvious. At least, they’re obvious once you consider the way EliteXC thinks. The fight has a “cool hook,” according to Frank, and that’s more than enough for the people who brought us Kimbo Slice-Tank Abbott. The reasons they might not make it happen? How about a mix of financial concerns and worries over whether Ken will be engaging in any headbutting contests the day of the fight and end up pulling out at the last minute again.

Beyond those obvious risks, here are several other reasons why we can do without Shamrock vs. Shamrock.

1. It’s eight years too late. The time to make this fight was when both guys were at or at least near the top of their game. Frank’s last great moment was his victory over Tito Ortiz in 1999. Since then he’s been reluctant to fight genuinely dangerous opponents, and has usually come out on the losing end when he does. Ken had a good showing in a decision loss against Don Frye in 2002, then started to go downhill shortly after. At this point, what does it matter who wins? Obviously, it will be Frank, but still, so what? It’s meaningless beyond the tepid personal grudge, which brings me to…

(One of those days where it really sucks to have just one waist.)

Frank Shamrock has yet to encounter a situation that is not, at its core, about Frank Shamrock. It just hasn’t happened. It probably never will happen. The main event at EliteXC: Heat last Saturday night is a great example. You remember that one, right?

Kimbo Slice was set to face Ken Shamrock, but instead squared off against (and was quickly defeated by) Seth Petruzelli. You might have seen it. What you probably didn’t know at the time was that this situation was all about Frank Shamrock. He was the grown man with braces calling the fight for CBS. But really, he should have been in there fighting. If he had, MMA history could have been altered. At least, that’s the story he told Sherdog:

“I think it was a mistake to not let me fight [Kimbo Slice],” said Shamrock, who claims he offered to step in to face the notorious streetfighter.

[...]

“When I realized we would have to cancel the show, I said, ‘Look, I’ll fight the guy. You know, it’s a great story — little brother steps into the spot, comes out of the booth. It’s very compelling, but we need a fight to happen that’s compelling,’” Frank said. “That went around for hours. Then I put my shirt on and went to work. No one committed to it, so I just kept talking.”

Of course you did, Frank. Because that’s what you do. A lot of talking, and occasionally some fighting.

(Just think of what might have been. Or better yet, don’t think about it. Ever.)

Oh, Ken Shamrock. Somehow the controversy over whether you cut yourself on purpose or whether you were just unlucky/dumb has been overshadowed in the past few days by other EliteXC controversies. It’s almost as if people have completely forgotten that it was supposed to be you who got paid extra to stand and trade with Kimbo Slice. Instead, you didn’t make a dime and ended up being but a footnote in this sad spectacle.

But fear not, MMA fans, for Ken Shamrock has composed (read: asked someone to write for him) an open letter explaining what went on this past Saturday and what he’d like to do about it. Take it away, Ken:

On October 4th, I was set to fight Kimbo Slice on the EliteXC/CBS Saturday Night Fights in a highly anticipated event. Unfortunately, because of a training accident and the intervention of the Florida State Boxing Commission, our fight did not happen. I suffered a cut above my left eye that required six stitches, and the cut was significant enough to cause the Florida State Boxing Commission to refuse to allow me to fight.

The scheduled bout with Kimbo on the EliteXC/CBS Saturday Night Fight card was a great opportunity, and it is unfortunate that I was unable to face Kimbo as planned. I want to apologize to all of my fans, and to the EliteXC and CBS executives who worked so hard to put this fight together. I also want to apologize to Kimbo, Bas Rutten and their entire camp for what happened. I recognize that I put them in a very bad situation, particularly Kimbo. It’s difficult to walk into the ring after training for one opponent only to find out hours before the fight that you have to face some you don’t know or have never seen fight.

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. Check out more pics from this set here.)

The Seth Petruzelli bribery story we discussed yesterday has taken a couple of left turns. First, FiveOuncesofPain contacted Petruzelli for a follow-up on his claim that EliteXC had paid him to keep his fight against Kimbo Slice standing, and Petruzelli backtracked, saying his words were being twisted:

“What was meant to be said was that I wanted to keep the fight standing for myself because I knew that was what the crowd, the promoters, and everyone wanted to see because that’s more exciting than just taking someone to the ground. That was my thing only. I wanted to keep it exciting so I decided to keep it standing. It had nothing to do with anybody else. That was all me.”

Keep it mind that this is a direct contradiction to what Petruzelli actually said during the interview, particularly the line “they gave me the money to stand and trade with him.” Yet when 5oz. asked him directly if EliteXC even hinted that he could receive a bonus by keeping the fight standing, Petruzelli flat-out denied it. (“I just wanted to keep it standing because I felt I could beat [Kimbo] at his own game.”)

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on here. After Petruzelli’s radio interview started sweeping the ‘nets, many MMA pundits and fans cried “fix,” even calling for charges to be brought against EliteXC. (Bribery to affect the outcome of a sanctioned fight is a felony in this country.) Petruzelli clearly didn’t understand how serious his revelation was at the time, and now he’s trying to save the asses of his employer and himself. For their part, EliteXC also denies that money was offered to Petruzelli in exchange for going easy on the takedowns. As EliteXC Head of Fight Operations Jeremy Lappen told Sherdog yesterday:

“Obviously we didn’t pay [Petruzelli] to stand. Kimbo had trained for months to fight a guy who’s fighting on the ground. We don’t care if people stand or take people down or what. It doesn’t matter to us. All we want is an exciting fight.”

But was Ken Shamrock actually going to be fighting on the ground?

Spoiler alert: Ninja, Gina, Andrei, Jake, and Kimbo (!) are going to win, maybe all within the first round. If you’re curious about how exactly it’ll happen, read on. Hit that “more” link and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest updates from the live CBS broadcast, comin’ atcha from the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida. Seriously though, this is about to be some lopsided shit. Grab some beers.

Get this: At about 6:20 p.m. ET, MMA Rated passed along the word that Ken Shamrock sustained a cut above his eye in the last 24 hours while training, forcing him to pull out of tonight’s main event against Kimbo Slice. Frank Shamrock — who is handling commentary tonight for CBS — actually volunteered to step in as a last-minute replacement, but he isn’t licensed to fight in Florida, so EliteXC instead had their eyes on KOTC brawler/UFC castoff Seth Petruzelli, who was supposed to face Aaron Rosa on tonight’s undercard. Then, MMA Rated reported that a very shady doctor was found who cleared Shamrock to fight around 7 p.m., saving “Heat” from one of the greatest Epic Fails in MMA history. Well, we hope. MMA Weekly now says that the fight has a 50/50 chance of happening. Other sources say the fight is 100% dunzo.

Update: Ariel Helwani tells Ben Fowlkes (who tells me) that Seth Petruzelli is 100% in as Ken’s replacement. Wow. On the bright side, Kimbo is finally fighting a legitimate heavyweight who isn’t riding an eight-fight losing streak. This should be interesting…

Update #2: “JM” wins the t-shirt. Shoot your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com, brah.

(It took her three tries, but she hit 141. That was close, Crush.)

- Gina Carano makes weight…just barely. (MMA Junkie)

- The pros offer their picks for Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock (Sherdog)

- Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar injury reports. (Brawl Sports)

- If you’re a fighter and you need a nickname, look no further. I’m torn between “The Gymnast” and “Hot Garbage.” (Bleeding Media)

- Don’t expect to see Tito Ortiz fighting again until Spring ’09. (MMA Rated)

- Don Frye is sober? So we’re drinking alone tonight, then? (Fightlinker)

- Media coverage ramps up for Elite XC: Heat. (Fight Opinion)

- Alistair Oveerem talks Cro Cop on ‘Inside MMA.’ (MMA Scraps)

- Wall Street starts the bailout celebrations. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Bill Maher’s “Religulous” is preachy, but good. (Screen Junkies)

- Comic book fans: then and now. (Holy Taco)

- Chick fight turns into huge family brawl. (Nothing Toxic)

Elite XC’s Jared Shaw takes a little shot at yours truly in this MMA Rated interview, calling me Ben “UFC” Fowlkes, which I suppose is an implication that I’m pro-UFC and anti-Elite XC, although I like to think that my record as an equal opportunity critic speaks for itself. If an organization does dumb things, it’s my job to point it out. If one organization does more dumb things than others, they’re going to receive more criticism. That’s just how it works. If it makes me a hater, I can live with that. But since when do we all have to like everything?

$kala says he just wants some love for his fighters, not himself. Fair enough, Jared. You do have some good fighters in your organization. Guys like Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler, Wilson Reis, Nick Diaz, and “Ninja” Rua, just to name a few. These are all fighters that I enjoy watching. But your fighters aren’t what you’ve been criticized for, and I think you know it.

Let’s take the event you’ve got this Saturday, for example. On the undercard you’ve got a few interesting scraps between guys like Paul Daley and Jake Shields, Benji Radach and “Ninja” Rua, and a sweet little co-promotional joint between Affliction fighters Andrei Arlovski and Roy Nelson (nice work scoring that, by the way, whether you had anything to do with it or not).

But your main event features a 3-0 fighter in Kimbo Slice, who has yet to face an opponent coming off a win, taking on a forty-four-year-old legend of the sport who hasn’t won a fight or even made it out of the first round in over four years. And that’s your main event.

It’s been a Kimbo-tastic week at ESPN, so naturally MMA Live had to get into the act with their own one-on-one interview of Kimbo Slice before Saturday’s big fight. For the most part it’s the usual material, but about two and a half minutes in Brett Rogers becomes a topic of conversation, and that’s where things get interesting.

First, Kimbo says he isn’t going to fight someone just for running his mouth and says he doesn’t “even want to call out his name because he doesn’t deserve respect.” Right, because all Rogers has done is rack up an 8-0 record, finishing all eight fights. We have yet to see him against Afro Puff, for Pete’s sake!

Kimbo then criticizes Rogers for “just fighting to get paid,” and goes on to say that for him it’s personal. He’s fighting for a cause, and that cause is his family. As for what he has to gain from fighting Rogers, Kimbo replies: “Nothing.”

Let me see if I understand this. Kimbo isn’t just fighting for money; he’s fighting for his family. Which means what, exactly? I always thought that when guys say they’re fighting for their families (a noble reason, I might add), what they mean is that they’re fighting to make money so they can provide for their family. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Kimbo has been paid very well for his each of his three pro fights, has he not? And yet Rogers catches heat for calling Kimbo out and trying to get paid? I don’t get it. Just like I don’t get how, if it’s personal for Kimbo, he wouldn’t fight a guy for running his mouth. Isn’t that exactly why you’d fight him if it was all personal?

Look, everyone fights for money. They do it because they love it, sure, but this is their career. It makes perfect sense for Rogers to try and build his name and up his salary by beating Kimbo. And Kimbo does have plenty to gain by fighting Rogers, such as credibility. If he beats Rogers, it will prove that he can do more than pound on tomato cans and over-the-hill fighters who are on long losing streaks, which is more than he’s done so far. Please Kimbo, fight Brett Rogers. You can both get paid. And if you win, we’ll all stop complaining that you haven’t fought anybody.

(Different crumpled body, same end result on Saturday night?)

It’s Friday, there’s an event tomorrow (which we’ll be liveblogging, of course), and questions abound as to Elite XC’s long term viability and Ken Shamrock’s short term punchability, so that means one thing…it’s Ben vs. Ben time. In this edition, we talk Kimbo Slice, underdogs, co-promotions, and other stuff. We argue, we call each other names, we reconcile, we hug (just playin’, we don’t hug…anyone…ever), and in the end we arrive at few, if any, conclusions. But it’s about the journey, man. Not the destination. So without further ado…

Assuming we agree that Kimbo Slice will be victorious over Ken Shamrock, how and when will it happen? What’s next for Ferg?

Fowlkes: If this were five years ago I’d take Shamrock over this strange Kimbo character and I wouldn’t think twice about it. But it’s not five years ago, alas, so Shamrock is in for yet another disappointing performance in a career that has seen too many of them lately.

In his more lucid moments, Shamrock knows he needs to get this to the ground in a hurry. He should also know that his forty-four-year-old legs don’t have too many explosive shots left in them, so he has to be smart and make his takedown attempts count. That’s why he’ll try and trap Kimbo against the cage in a clinch and look for a throw or leg sweep – something that won’t sap too much precious energy. Kimbo will circle away from him and tee off. Shamrock will try again with similar results, but eventually a punch will clip him and he’ll go down. Then the ref will step in and Shamrock will be protesting the stoppage before he’s even back on his feet. It won’t get out of the first round or even past the four-minute mark. Thank you, Florida, and good night.

This fight will prove nothing for Kimbo’s credibility. Even Elite XC has to see that. After this they’ll load up for one big pay-per-view with Kimbo vs. Brett Rogers as the main event, figuring it’s time to go all-in. They have no choice. Antonio Silva is dealing with his steroid charges, Justin Eilers is damaged goods, and Sean Gannon wants too much money. Rogers is the only guy people will pay to see Kimbo fight. If Elite XC is smart they’ll realize they can leverage Kimbo’s stardom into a big push for Rogers, who might actually have the skills to justify the hype in the long run.

Goldstein: Dude, Ken hasn’t made it to the four-minute mark in a fight since 2002, and he’s not about to start now. I’m going to bring your estimate down 90 seconds and say The Miami Pound Machine finishes The World’s Most Glassiest Chin within the first 2:30. It’ll start with Kimbo knocking Shamrock down after about a minute-and-a-half. (No more than one shot will be attempted by Ken during that time.) The ref won’t stop it right away. Kimbo will get on top of Shamrock and punch him out on the ground. People will say “wooooo!” And the broadcast will immediately end because they’ll already be over their timeslot by like a half-hour.

(Man, I just hope Ken’s HMO is going to cover this.)

Yesterday’s press conference for Elite XC: Heat provided all the requisite photo ops and pre-packaged quotes. We get to hear every fighter talk about what a great opportunity this is, how much they love Elite XC, etc. But what every good press conference has to have is a quote that just plain doesn’t make sense. Thankfully, Kimbo Slice obliged:

“Ken’s fighting in Florida, which is no place for an old man. I’m mentally prepared and ready to do it and represent the crib. It’s going to be ‘305’ (his area code) all day.”

Really? Florida’s no place for an old man? Perhaps what he meant to say was, Florida is the place for an old man. Senior citizens make up 16.8% of the population there (don’t say you never learn anything on Cage Potato). If anything, Florida is the perfect place for a fighter of advanced age such as Shamrock. He can catch an early bird dinner before the fight, then maybe enjoy some shuffleboard after the bout is over. When he finally comes to, that is.

Speaking of Shamrock, you didn’t think you were going to have a press conference without him putting his public speaking gifts into action, did you?

(What, no odds on whether Gina will make weight?)

If betting odds are any indication of how competitive MMA bouts will turn out to be, expect a lot of one-sided blowouts on Elite XC’s CBS offering this Saturday night. Not that it’s any surprise, really. In fact, with five fights crammed into a two-hour time slot CBS is going to need some quick beatdowns if they don’t want to run way over and have to cut into precious local news time. In any event, Best Fight Odds supplies the most gambler-friendly betting lines for ‘Elite XC: Heat,’ and they break down like this:

Kimbo Slice (-325) vs. Ken Shamrock (+329)
Jake Shields (-550) vs. Paul Daley (+524)
Gina Carano (-550) vs. Kelly Kobald (+525)
Ninja Rua (-196) vs. Benji Radach (+210)
Andrei Arlovski (-428) vs. Roy Nelson (+385)

Some thoughts…

(‘Old and veiny. That’s how I roll.’)

In an interview with Gary Herman of 15rounds.com Ken Shamrock reiterates his desire to knock Kimbo Slice unconscious and then shave his beard (are the lines between pro wrestling and “the MMA” blurring for Ken in his old age?), and also offers this assessment of his game plan going into the bout on Saturday:

“If all goes well, I’ll get a win in the first round. I can handle him anywhere – stand-up or on the ground. I’m not going to force anything. If it’s there, I’m going to take it. If he leaves his face open, I’m going to punch it. If he gives me a leg, I’ll take that.”

A genius master plan it ain’t, but at least he’s going in there with something. Not to be outdone, Kimbo had this to say about his preparation for the fight, then added a word of advice for Shamrock:

“I daydream about the fights, man. This (expletive) is in my head. I see it over and over and over again. I don’t think about sex, I don’t think about smokin’, I don’t think about drinking. I think about the guy I’m fighting, I think about my opponent. That’s all I think about.

[...]

“Come into this cage and fight like a lion, rather than die like a pussy.”

Well, okay, two different rhetorical styles there but…wait a minute. Did Kimbo just suggest that Ken Shamrock might “die like a pussy” in their fight? I understand the “fight like a lion” part. Did he mean ‘lose like a pussy’? Then again, ‘pussy’ isn’t exactly the opposite of ‘lion.’ How about ‘lose like a lamb’?

All right, long story short, parallel sentence structure isn’t Kimbo’s strong suit. But either way let’s not go around talking about Ken Shamrock dying in the cage on Saturday, okay Kimbo? The guy’s getting on in years as it is, his cholesterol is probably a concern, and just think about how bad you’ll feel if he really does die. You don’t want that hanging over your head.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Things that you have to love about this Ken Shamrock video:

1) He doesn’t blame you for thinking he’s washed up based on his last few fights.
2) He continually refers to the sport as “the MMA,” just like your father might.
3) He apparently trains exclusively in slow motion with a piano tinkling in the background.

All kidding aside, this video makes me both excited and sad for Shamrock’s fight with Kimbo Slice on Saturday. The man’s will is still there but the flesh is, well, not. He’s doing a great job of crafting a narrative (around the 11:00 mark he starts talking about Kimbo, and at 14:15 he explains that Kimbo “is walking into my sport, and he hasn’t earned the right to be there.”), which has always been one of the things Shamrock does well.

But after what we’ve seen from him in recent years there’s just no reason to think he’s going to go out there and beat Kimbo. There is every reason to think that one of the sport’s pioneers is going to go out there and lose badly and it’s going to be a damn shame to see.

Who knows, though. He seems acutely aware of why Elite XC brought him in, and maybe he will indeed “completely blow up their party” on Saturday night. If he does I hope the CBS cameramen have the good sense to pan to Jared Shaw immediately afterwards. That look on his face? It will be the ‘That son of a bitch just blew up my party,’ look.

(You ready for this, America?)

I almost couldn’t believe it when I first heard the news: Elite XC had added a legitimately interesting big time bout to their next CBS show. No disrespect to “Ninja” Rua and Benji Radach or Jake Shields and Paul Daley. Those are fights worth tuning in for, even if Elite XC seems content to treat them as background scenery.

And Gina Carano fighting an opponent who’s coming off two straight losses while the opponent who really makes sense for her fights someone else on the same card? Sure, that’s cool too. And of course there’s the obligatory ‘Kimbo Slice beats up handpicked opponent’ fight that we’ve come to expect.

But Andrei Arlovski-Roy Nelson? Now that’s intriguing, Elite XC. I have to admit, I’m impressed. I wonder, however, if you’ve thought through all the potential ramifications.

On one hand, it’s brilliant. Elite XC links up with another struggling organization to see if they can’t form like Voltron and make something happen. This fight adds hardcore credibility to a card severely lacking in it. The fact that Elite had to go outside their own stable of fighters to find that credibility is something we’ll ignore for the moment. Fact is, they showed the “willingness to work with other organizations” that we always hear about but seldom see put to such good use. Bravo.

But here’s what I’m wondering: what happens if Arlovski/Nelson turns out to be a solid, technical, exciting MMA bout, as we all know it very well could be?

- ESPN Radio’s Ball Park Frank talks with Randy Couture about a number of topics in this video (props to Steve Cofield), but perhaps most interesting is Couture’s assessment of Kimbo Slice‘s upcoming match with Ken Shamrock. As Couture astutely points out (around the 2:55 mark), a quick KO of Shamrock does more to affirm his over-the-hill status than it does to prove Kimbo’s worth as an MMA fighter. At the same time, if Kimbo goes back and forth with Shamrock will that only serve to prove that he’s not the fighter “Buzz” Berry is? Best case scenario for Kimbo is he looks good, Shamrock looks good, Kimbo wins via late KO. That’s also the least plausible scenario.

- Travis Lutter tells MMA Rated there is absolutely no truth to rumors he might be headed back to the UFC. Though it was originally reported that he might face Joe Doerksen in the Octagon, Lutter says neither he nor UFC matchmaker Joe Silva knew where the rumor came from, which means it’s back to the small time for Lutter. He did have a prediction for the Anderson Silva-Patrick Cote bout, though: “Cote is going to get murdered.” Come on, Travis, don’t sugar coat it.

- CBS executives say they will show five fights from ‘Elite XC: Heat’ on Saturday, even if it will probably cause them to run over the allotted two-hour space. Some fans wondered whether CBS had cut “Ninja” Rua-Benji Radach from the broadcast when the bout wasn’t mentioned in recent promos, but Executive VP Kelly Kahl says the fight is still on and will lead off the CBS portion of the card. That means Elite XC will have to keep its general dicking around to a minimum and still hope for a couple quick finishes to keep from going over. It’s something you’ll want to keep in mind if you’re planning on DVR-ing this sucker.

We all know that Ken Shamrock has only one chance when he faces Kimbo Slice at ‘Elite XC: Heat’ on CBS this Saturday night, and that’s to get the fight to the ground and hope Kimbo’s ground game is still as bad as it looked against James Thompson. According to Kimbo, however, it just looked like he had no idea what he was doing on the mat in that fight:

“Against Thompson I learned that no matter what happens, nothing will hurt me,” Slice said. “It’s mind over matter. Mentally, I knew I was alright. It may have looked like I was in trouble, but I was fine. It’s mind over matter.”

Really? Mind over matter? That’s what he took away from that fight? Call me crazy, but just because Kimbo weathered a couple minutes worth of ineffectual elbow strikes from the decidedly mediocre Thompson, that might not be reason to believe that nothing will hurt him.

‘Conditioning and takedown defense’ might not be as cool a slogan as ‘mind over matter,’ but it would be a much better approach for Kimbo. Lucky for him both Shamrock’s mind and matter are equally weakened with age and accumulated beatdowns.

Kimbo Slice appeared on ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption” recently to discuss his October 4 bout with Ken Shamrock on CBS. What followed was Tony Kornheiser dragging himself through an interview he clearly didn’t want to do, and Kimbo alternating between statements that are clearly false and those that are merely very questionable.

On complaints from hardcore fans who criticize him for being “unproven”:

“[Expletive] it. That means they need to step up to the plate, we fight, so I can be proven, like I am street certified.”

On whether his credibility was damaged when he struggled to defeat James Thompson:

“To a lot of people James Thompson was elite. He fought in Pancrase over in Japan. …James is a well-rounded fighter, man. He has a good chin. [ed. note: really?]“

On whether he deserves his celebrity status:

“I never consider myself a celebrity. Celebrities don’t go to K-Mart. Celebrities don’t eat at McDonald’s. Celebrities don’t go to Wal-Mart. I don’t consider myself a celebrity. I’m just a little squirrel in this big world and I’m still trying to get my nut.”

‘Nuff said.

(Props: Steve Cofield, again)

We just had to go and complain that Elite XC and CBS weren’t doing enough to hype their Oct. 4 event. Then came “Hits & Chicks.” Now it’s “the greatest mixed martial arts show in Florida history” featuring “undefeated Miami street fighting legend” Kimbo Slice. Oh, and just in case you were worried that his street fighting days weren’t being well-represented enough, they made sure to include plenty of clips. I don’t know if they’re referring to him as undefeated in MMA, which is true, or undefeated in street fighting, which is not (Sean Gannon, anyone?), but either way you get the point. They stop just short of showing Kimbo working out with the Milf Hunter, presumably because they had to give Ken Shamrock his obligatory three seconds of screen time.

When it comes to selling tickets, I guess you hype whatever you got, however you can.

(Props: BloodyElbow)

So here’s a clip of Frank Shamrock giving some predictions for EliteXC’s October 4th event. What caught my attention was the fact that EliteXC has quietly announced a title for the show, which they’ve included in the video. It’s called “Heat,” and even though it’s just three weeks away, this is the first time I’ve seen it. Pretty lazy, if you ask me. I’m sure we could come up with some more fitting titles. I’ll start…

“The Old Can and the G”
“Miami Pound Machine”
“$kala’s Last Stand”
“Paycheck”
“Roadkill”
“Sideshow”
“Maybe That Chick From American Gladiators Will Show Her Tits, You Never Know”

Any other suggestions?

(Nah, bro…you.)

EliteXC hosted a media conference call this afternoon, where a fired-up Ken Shamrock and a comparatively laid-back Kimbo Slice traded insults to hype their headlining fight at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida, on October 4th. After Jeremy Lappen ran down the fight card, Shamrock kicked things off by apologizing for his recent performances. “I have my reasons for the losses, but they’re just excuses,” he said. “But on October 4th I will shut everyone up and I will make amends for those fights by putting Kimbo’s lights out…[people ask] can I get in the ring, should I be in the ring, do I deserve to be in the ring, and I guarantee you I will answer that question and I will put a period at the end of it.”

Though he expressed respect for Shamrock and his accomplishments, Slice seemed confident about his chances. “[Ken's] gonna stay on his streak, and I’m gonna stay on mine,” Slice said. When asked what his gameplan was, Slice sardonically added: “Being a great grappler like myself, against a striker like Ken, I’m gonna break his leg.”

Though things started out relatively civil, Shamrock’s blood was boiled by an early question from a reporter, and he stayed mad for the remainder. When he was asked if he thought he was being used as a stepping stone for Slice, Shamrock shouted “I am! That’s absolutely what this is, and I’m absolutely taking this as an insult to me! And i’m going to smash it back in their face.”

An uncomfortable Lappen tried to do damage control by saying “we definitely don’t look at it that way,” while Jared Shaw started running down Shamrock’s career accomplishments, and clarified that the guys who beat Shamrock during his last 10 fights were all legends. [Ed. note: Which reminds me, how long do we have to wait until Buzz Berry is inducted into the MMA Hall of Fame?] “The press wants to paint a picture that Ken is washed up and he’s being served up,” Shaw said. “But Ken doesn’t believe that, and we don’t believe that.”

Of course there was some great back-and-forth between the headliners. When asked about the likelihood of him taking the fight to the ground, Shamrock said “I’m gonna go out there, I’m gonna be too fast for him — I hit hard — and he’s going to eat a few of my punches, some leg kicks, a couple push kicks. He’s gonna get tired. And then I don’t even have to take the guy down, he’s gonna fall down.”

(Props: MMA Scraps)

A jovial Ken Shamrock showed up on “Inside MMA” to discuss his upcoming fight with Kimbo Slice. I’m not sure exactly what’s going on around the 0:53 mark where Ken affects a silly voice in order to say “going to the leg-lock,” but, as Shamrock has shown in the past, he likes the occasional silly voice for no good reason. It’s somewhat reassuring to hear him say that he isn’t comfortable trading punches with Kimbo, until he says he still thinks he can “hit him five times and make him miss.” Don’t do it, Ken. Seriously. Just get it to the ground and hope for the best.

(“Semtex” makes sure photographers get a shot of his good fist.)

As you may have already forgotten, Elite XC’s next show on CBS is now less than a month away. They don’t seem too concerned with stuff like advertising or hyping it in the press, and are apparently relying on the Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock buzz to carry them through without much promotion. Kind of a ‘If you build a squash match, they will come’ type of attitude.

But thank God for Paul Daley. The now-I’m-retired-now-I’m-not UK fighter seems to be the only one really putting some effort into selling this thing. When discussing his bout with Elite XC welterweight champ Jake Shields, “Semtex” was, shall we say, forthcoming with his opinions:

He won’t remember much…just waking up I guess. I’m gonna be real mean in this fight, fuck Jake Shields, you’re going to see. I am stronger, I hit harder, I take punishment and he will not take me down, or hold me there for long if I make a mistake. This is gonna be a shock to those Jake Shields nut huggers. Once I am in that top ten, I’m coming after everyone above me….

I’m so pumped for the fight that I feel something is gonna go wrong, like he is gonna pull out or something…scared…I would if I was him. He don’t know what’s coming.

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(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

- Do some UFC 88 pre-partying with Randy Couture. (Xtreme Couture)

- Mario Sperry betting on a Palhares victory, literally. (Tatame)

- Stone Cold Steve Austin breaks down Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock. (YouTube)

- Arguing over UFC 88, Randy’s return, and more. (MMA Rated)

- Martin Kampmann is ready to “kick ass.” (MMA Mania)

- Brock Lesnar got jokes. (Steve Cofield)

- One punch KO’s bully. (Nothing Toxic)

- Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates team up to produce something…strange. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Sarah Palin steps up to the mic. (Holy Taco)

- 11 craziest Ann Coulter moments. (Screen Junkies)

An animated gif from the future. Props to “Juggo” via the UG. And props to Shammy for hanging in that long.

Ken Shamrock to Sherdog:

“[T]he Kimbo Slice thing came up and we said, ‘Wow, this is the perfect fight for me, man. You can’t gift wrap one better than this’…Honestly, I think I can test him anywhere. He’s got big, heavy hands. Everyone says he punches hard and he probably does. But again, he doesn’t punch properly, in my opinion. He swings his hands, he moves his body back and forth trying to get as much power as he can, but there’s really no snap behind it. You can usually see the punches coming. I’m going to do what I need to do. If it goes to the ground, I’ll probably break his leg. I mean, no question. I will break his leg. If he gives it to me, I’m going to break it.”

The bad news is, Ken has proven multiple times that he doesn’t need to be punched “properly” to briefly lose consciousness. A firm tap will do. Picture a police officer knocking on a door — that’s about the force required to knock out Ken Shamrock. Bonus: Check out this video from earlier this year of Ken and some IFL fighters going over a hypothetical matchup between him and Kimbo.

You were wondering how Brett Rogers feels about getting spurned by Elite XC in favor Ken Shamrock? Five Ounces of Pain has the scoop in a statement on behalf of Brett Rogers. Things start out all puppy dogs and rainbows in regards to the way Elite XC is handling their business, but don’t worry, Shamrock and “Fergi” get their come-uppance at the end:

As for Oct 4th; that was our spot. Shamrock with his name and giant ego butted in line to get a slice of Kevin. At 103 years of age Ken usurped our rightful place against the YouTube champ. Our sincerest hope is that Ken whips Kimbo and then we can finally euthanize the “World’s Most Dangerous Man” and relegate him to some MMA dinosaur exhibit. Maybe taxidermy him and Severn and place them on a rotating pedestal where they can endless circle each other.

If Ken proves to be more sham then rock and Fergi beats him, then the Slice hype grows even greater. Dude is already more myth then Sasquatch, Chupacabra and a fucking unicorn combined. Kevin is the black Yeti.

Caught between a Shamrock and a hard place, Kevin has chosen the old over the new; the past over the future. But Fergi… the hard place is coming. By putting us off, making us wait will only make matters worse. There is nothing business about it anymore. Kimbo made it a point to go frontin’ to our boys at Big Black. But that street thug B.S. might work well with the fan bois and the Internet dorks who think your street cred means something; but Son… Brett comes from Cabrini Green; the worst 12 blocks of America. Compared to that your street is Sesame Street. So you can say it is very personal between Brett and Fergi. So go ahead and make us wait while you fight Tank and Shamrock. Hell, why not fight Hackney, Harold Howard, Fred Ettish and the rest of Jurassic MMA? And while your shuckin’ and duckin’ we will be hustlin’ and muscilin’ and when the bell finally tolls the only real question left is … do you wake up looking at canvas or arena lights?

On behalf of Brett Rogers – Team Bison

Wow. Black Yeti? Shuckin’ and duckin’? Hustlin’ and musclin’? Sounds like the official trash-talking statement writer over at Team Bison is doing work, son.