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Tag: Ken Shamrock

The 9 Most Pathetic Hooks the UFC Has Used to Draw PPV Buys

(At one point, Jones tried to pull away because he thought the handshake was over, but Chael held on for like a half-second longer. It was, without question, the most challenging moment of Jones’s professional MMA career. / Photo via Getty Images)

By Matt Saccaro

The fight game isn’t just about tatted-up white guys with shaved heads hitting each other in the face. If it were, BodogFIGHT and the IFL would still be alive and kicking. Marketing /Hype/PR is a crucial aspect of the fight business — but it doesn’t always go so well.

There were times when the UFC has had stunning marketing triumphs (the whole “Zuffa created the entire MMA world and if you don’t like it you’re a butthurt Pride fanboy” shtick). But there were also times when the UFC’s efforts fell flat on their face like Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante against Dan Henderson.

What were some of these hyped-up but obviously bullshit moments? Let’s have a look…

1. Watch Che Mills, the Unstoppable Killing Machine!

(Source: Getty)

UFC 145’s main event of Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans was strong enough to sell a pay-per-view on. Sure, sometimes the promo made the two fighters look like jilted lovers, but we’re not gonna hate on the UFC for hyping up a title fight.

We will, however, hate on them for trying to convince fans that a squash match — Rory MacDonald vs. Che Mills — was some kind of epic duel between two young lions. There was only one prospect in that fight, and it wasn’t Che Mills.

The UFC’s inability to do anything with subtlety ruined the promos for this event, the prelims for this event, and most of the PPV portion of this event. Describing Mills as a “new, dangerous welterweight from the UK” was a gross exaggeration. The British striker was only dangerous if you were a TUF bum or if you suffered an accidental knee injury while fighting him.

During the prelims, Rogan was doing the hard sell. THIS CHE MILLS GUY IS A KILLER. HE’S A MONSTER. HE’S A BADASS. HE BEHEADED NED STARK. HE SHOT BAMBI’S MOTHER. Insane falsehoods like this littered the broadcast. Rogan didn’t stop the bullshit once the main card started, either.

We got treated with pro-wrestling-level fakeness about how Che Mills was on MacDonald’s level up until MacDonald, predictably, ran through Mills.

Thus, the only thing that got killed at UFC 145 was Mills’s career.

Since then, Mills hasn’t legitimately won a fight, unless you count Duane Ludwig’s freak injury as a legit win. Earlier this month, Mills lost via TKO to Irishman Cathal Pendred (never heard of him either) at a CWFC event in Ireland.

2. James Toney, Bane of MMA Fighters.


CagePotato Roundtable #22: What Was the Worst UFC Title Fight of all Time?

(It’s not a UFC fight, but you can’t talk awful title fights without at least referencing Sonnen vs. Filho II. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Today we’re talking about bad UFC title fights – fights that fizzled out after weeks of hype, bored even the most die-hard fans among us, and left us baffled that the winner was considered the best in his weight class. Since we’re dealing strictly with UFC title fights, notable clunkers like Ruiz vs. Southworth II (Strikeforce), Wiuff vs. Tuchscherer (YAMMA), and Sonnen vs. Filho II (WEC) are ineligible for inclusion. Also, we promise that the only appearance of the name “Ben Askren” in this column lies in this incredibly forced sentence. Read on for our picks, and please, pretty please, send your ideas for future Roundtable topics to

Jason Moles

Detroit is known by many names – Motown, Motor City, and Hockey Town to name a few. None of which lend to the idea that the birthplace of the assembly line was also a mecca of mixed martial arts or a place to catch great fights on Saturday. Unfortunately, UFC didn’t care; they took the show to the Great Lakes State in 1996 for UFC 9: Clash of the Titans 2 nonetheless. Ken Shamrock and Michigan native Dan Severn were set to face off for the first world title outside of Japan, the UFC Superfight championship. However, thanks to Senator John McCain, instead seeing an exciting rematch that was sure to cover the canvas in bad blood, fans in attendance and at home watching on PPV were treated to what became known as “The Detroit Dance.” And to this day, it is regarded as one of the worst fights in the history of the sport.


Dear God, No: Ken Shamrock to Face Ian Freeman in Latest “Comeback” Fight That Will Be Anything But


It’s hard to say what exactly inspires aging MMA fighters with the sudden desire to give the sport another go. In Aleksander Emelianenko’s case, it was money, probably to be put towards more prison-style death tattoos. In Tank Abbott’s case, it was probably because one of his crusty drinking buddies at the local VFW bet him he wouldn’t. And in UFC HOFer Ken Shamrock‘s case, it appears that his first round TKO over that chick outside a Wetzel’s Pretzels is to thank for his most recent “comeback” fight, the details of which MMAOpinion has just passed along:

UFC Hall of Famer, Ken Shamrock will be returning to MMA on July 27 to take on British MMA star Ian ‘The Machine’ Freeman under the Ultimate Cage Fighting Championship banner at the Keepmoat Stadium in Doncaster, England.

Shamrock,a UFC Superfight Champion, made his desire to fight Freeman public when he commentated on BAMMA 12. His wish has been granted after some heavy negotiation. Shamrock has been in fights with some of all time greats including Royce Gracie and Kazushi Sakuraba but it looks like even at the grand age of 49, ‘The World’s most Dangerous Man’ is not ready to call it quits. He has not fought since November 2010. His last fight in the UK saw him lose by TKO to Robert ‘Buzz’ Berry in 2008. 

While we would love to bring things like Shamrock’s record over the past few years or his general mental health into the equation, we think we should hold off on our cynicism until this fight actually goes down. And honestly, when compared to what he’s been reduced to in lieu of fighting, seeing Shamrock’s brains get turned into mashed potatoes for a few thousand bucks is probably the least humiliating thing we (or he) could ask for.


CagePotato Ban: Blaming a Failed Drug Test on an Over-the-Counter Supplement

Sheesh, Randy and Chuck have really been hitting the Centrum Silver since they retired, huh?

Ever since the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act was passed in 1994, athletes have been aware that there may be more than just protein in the tubs of powder and bottles of pills found in their local grocery stores. The supplement industry isn’t exactly known for its history of ethical practices, and the deregulation of it has unsurprisingly caused manufacturers to push the limits of what can be snuck into their products. It’s widely been accepted that any supplement one purchases — be it the pre-workout stimulant that a personal trainer recommended or the “hardcore” testosterone booster that the local meathead swears is responsible for his 300+ pound frame — can result in a failed drug test, and that any athlete who uses supplements does so at his or her own risk.

Yet if you’ve followed this sport — or any sport, for that matter — for at least one week, you’re already sick of what’s been dubbed The Tainted Supplements Defense. You know the story by heart, and can recite it word-for-word before the athlete even issues a statement on the failed test: An athlete gets busted with a banned substance in his or her system, claims that an over-the-counter product is responsible for the failed drug test, swears that he or she would never resort to taking steroids, wishes that he or she never took the supplements before the fight and promises that it will never happen again. It’s just likely enough to be true, yet just unfalsifiable enough for a reasonable fan to reject.

Which is just one of many reasons why I am cordially inviting anyone blaming a failed drug test on an over-the-counter supplement to fucking stop doing so from this point forward. No matter what variation of the excuse you’re using, your excuse is bad, and you should feel bad. Let’s start off with the most popular variation:


Good News: For Only $4.99, You Can Show Your Genitals to Miesha Tate via Video Chat

Miesha Tate bikini photos MMA fighter Strikeforce hot
(For all you high rollers out there, $5.99 gets you one of these signed with lipstick.) 

What in the hell is happening in the world of MMA? First we find out that Ken Shamrock will talk you into a living death for only $11.99 a minute, and now this noise.

Gentlemen, have you ever found yourself watching a Miesha Tate fight and thought, “You know what, that woman is a great fighter, I would love to show her my penis over the internet.” Well today is your lucky day, because a thread on the UG recently brought to light that the former Strikeforce bantamweight women’s champion has apparently launched a “members only” website, where just $4.99 a month (!!!!) gets you access to the following:

-Latest and up to date news
-Latest and up to date appearances and schedule
-Exclusive photos not found anywhere else
-Exclusive videos not found anywhere else
-Access to store for merchandise and memorbilia
-Contests available to fans only
-Be able to submit your picture with Miesha that will be permanently on her website
-Chance to Video Chat with Miesha herself (times and days TBD)
-Book 1 on 1 video chat
-See Marzia stream live from her phone  (coming soon)

Let’s see you top that, Carmen!


Rock-Bottom Alert: Ken Shamrock Asks Strangers to Call him for $11.99 per Minute

“Okay, so I’m making a living as a fake fighter. Things can only get better from here, right?”

If history is any indication, it’ll only be a matter of time before this headline becomes tragically outdated. Ken Shamrock has gone from taking lopsided beatdowns from Tito Ortiz, to taking them from the UFC’s lawyers, to accusations of juicing himself in order to get out fighting Kimbo Slice, to testing positive for steroids after beating up a fat guy, to submitting to leg-kicks from Pedro Rizzo, to beating up another fat guy with the help of an eye poke, to losing to Mike Bourke after his leg gave out while going backwards (seriously), to hitting a “heavyset” woman that he thought was a guy. The point I’m trying to make is that whenever things look like they can’t possibly get any worse for the guy, we see his name in the news and think to ourselves, “Yep, I really should have seen this coming.”

That being said, you know things aren’t exactly good for somebody when…you know what, I’ll just let this press release sent to yesterday explain:

Maryland, 29 th October 2012 [Author's Note: The date was wrong, so I figured things weren't exactly off to a promising start...] – UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock has announced the launch of his own fundraising chat line, allowing fans of the legendary icon to call him directly on his cell phone.

His service is part of growing micro-access phenomenon, whereby well-known public figures can connect anonymously by phone with their followers on a pay-per-minute basis.


CagePotato Roundtable #19: Fighters You Hated, Then Loved (Or Vice-Versa)

(I was a big fan of James Thompson until he TKO’d my beloved Giant Silva. You broke my heart, James. You broke my heart. / Photo via Sherdog.)

We’d like to send out a CagePotato Fist-Bump to reader Joseph Cisneros, who submitted today’s topic on this Facebook thread: “Fighters that u hated, that now u are a fan of.” It’s a good question (despite its grammatical quirks), and so is the reverse of it — fighters who you were a fan of, but can’t stand anymore. We figured, why not cover both sides of the coin?

Joining us for this installment of the CagePotato Roundtable is a very special guest, and former Roundtable subject: veteran MMA heavyweight James “The Colossus” Thompson. It’s been a fruitful year for Thompson, who has scored wins over Bob Sapp and Bobby Lashley under the Super Fight League banner, and launched his own MMA media empire with a fantastic blog (ColossalConcerns.comand a highly entertaining MMA podcast, which you should subscribe to on iTunes right here. Follow the Colossus on Twitter @JColossus, and quiet down children, because the man is about to speak…

James Thompson

When I was told the subject for this round table, I thought I’d have to pass on it, simply because on first reflection I couldn’t think of any fighters that I was a fan of, but then went off completely, or vice versa. But then I did something I try, as often as possible, not to do…I used my brain. After this painful but mercifully brief process was over, I remembered a couple of fighters hidden deep in my grey matter that did fit this description. So here’s what I dug up.


[VIDEO] The “Albanian Assassin” Has the Meanest Mean-Mug in the History of Mean-Mugs


From a writer’s standpoint, there are a couple ways to approach a fight video as clownshit crazy as the one you are about to witness. The first is to provide a play-by-play breakdown of the action in a noble (but ultimately futile) attempt to try and make sense of the lunacy you just witnessed. The other method involves coming to the realization that your words are indeed ultimately futile and that the fight video should simply be digested as is.

It’s safe to say that when this happens before the fight even begins, you must follow the latter method.

Full video after the jump. Trust us, you *need* to see this. 


Unforgettable: Bas Rutten Discusses His Greatest Opponents

(Photo via FUEL TV)

A near-mythological figure in the world of combat sports, Bas Rutten‘s achievements include three King of Pancrase titles, a UFC heavyweight championship, broadcasting gigs for PRIDE and Inside MMA, various movie cameos, and a starring role in the greatest instructional video of all time. “El Guapo” was kind enough to give us a few minutes of his time this week to discuss his legendary fight career, and the opponents who stood out across a number of categories. Show your appreciation by following Bas on Twitter and Facebook, and watch out for his latest big-screen appearance in the MMA comedy flick Here Comes the Boom next month.

Toughest chin: That has to be Masakatsu Funaki and my last opponent Ruben Villareal. Funaki I hit and kneed so hard that my palms and knee were bruised, until the final knee where I grabbed Funaki’s hair and drilled the knee in his face, but boy, every time he got back up, it was crazy. Villareal, although I had a rib out and couldn’t hit a bag the last two weeks [of training], I still hit him hard, and right on his chin every time. First he said to me, “Damn, you’re fast.” I said “Thank you,” then I hit him again and he said, “And you hit hard.” I told him, “Apparently not hard enough!” It was funny.

Heaviest hands: I was very fortunate never to have anybody connecting full. I have pretty good defense. So I honestly can’t tell you; I’ve never been hit hard. Though I guess in training I have. Pedro Rizzo has very heavy hands.


Poll: At First Glance, Would You Make the Same Mistake Ken Shamrock Did?

Oh geez, you guys. You know how we informed you the other day that Ken Shamrock was involved in a little mall skirmish that ended in him striking a woman he thought was a man? If so, do you remember how all the reports said she was HEAVYSET woman, making sure to emphasize the term by placing it in all capital letters?

Well, as things are apt to do in the life of Ken Shamrock, this story has recently taken a turn from typically bizarre/sad to the even more bizarre and borderline morbid. The above photo of Shamrock’s alleged attacker, all 120 pounds of her, was released today, and it suddenly has us questioning the legitimacy of Shamrock’s story. We mean, just look at her; not even Peter Griffin could make that mistake.

Her name is Melinda Garcia, and according to her, things went down WAY differently with “The World’s Most Dangerous Man Who is Definitely a Man” than what was originally reported. As TMZ reports:

Her name is Melinda Garcia … she weighs 120 pounds … and tells TMZ there’s NO WAY Shamrock could’ve confused her for a man. In fact, she claims Ken is straight up LYING about the fight.

Garcia claims it’s all BS … claiming Shamrock didn’t actually break up the original fight, but rather screamed at her to do it … which she did. Garcia claims Shamrock began to yell at her for not stopping the fight sooner … and then snapped and PUNCHED her in the face.

Garcia says her mom ran over to intervene … and Shamrock punched her too. Soon after the alleged girl-punching, security and police arrived to the scene … and only then, Garcia says, Shamrock backed off.

Garcia also claimed that she plans to file a lawsuit if the police do not press charges, so it got us thinking: If this woman jumped on our back, would we be able to identify her as a woman immediately? Ben said he was on Team Ken, Elias said Team Sane, and Seth said his apartment was taking on water and he didn’t have time for our stupid reindeer games.

So as we like to do in these situations, we’ll ask unto you: At first glance, would you make the same mistake Ken Shamrock, Ms. Swan, and Austin Powers made?

Survey after the jump.