We’re not sure if Mamed Khalidov has been workshopping any nickname ideas, but as the unofficial authorities on this subject, we’d like to suggest “The Compactor.” Because for the past two or so years, Khalidov has been making his living collecting the UFC’s trash and shredding them into bite-sized pieces before disposing of them like yesterday’s leftovers. In this regard, his victory over TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove was a success, as he secured a rarely seen achilles lock to put Grove away inside the distance. But in a way, the win was one of Khalidov’s less impressive performances in recent memory. I mean, he even let Grove get to the second round for Chrissakes, and considering UFC veterans like Rodney Wallace, James “WHY ME?!” Irvin, Matt Lindland, and Jesse Taylor couldn’t make it out of the second minute, it really makes you wonder just why Khalidov decided to dick around for as long as he did.

We kid, we kid. In his last six fights, Khalidov has scored two victories by knockout, one by armbar, one by kneebar, one by guillotine, and one by the aforementioned Achilles lock. The man is as close to a human Swiss army knife as you will ever find, and once the UFC offers him a contract worth more than the paper it’s printed on, expect to see him making waves stateside.

Unfortunately, the video of his fight with Grove in unembeddable, so you’ll have to go here to check it out.

After the jump: Videos of the night’s co-main event — which pitted Rodney Wallace against Michael Materla for the KSW middleweight title — and the scrap between UFC veterans Matt Horwich and Terry Martin.

It’s easy- perhaps even a bit lazy- to compare the embattled MMA fighter Drew Fickett to the similarly troubled Scott Hall. In their primes, both men performed on their respective sport’s biggest stages against recognizable names. In Fickett’s case, this meant a run in the UFC and notable victories over Dennis Hallman, Kenny Florian, Josh Neer, Josh Koscheck and Kurt Pellegrino.

Yet it’s arguable that both men are more famous for their self-destructive, chaotic lifestyles outside of sport than they are for their accomplishments. Both men have well documented struggles with addiction, have been fired from major promotions over their drunken antics and have attempted to stay relevant in their respective sports with increasingly tragic results.

Case in point: Last night’s ShoFIGHT 20, which took place on the campus of Drury University in Springfield, Missouri. The show was essentially a who’s who of washouts from bigger promotions, which included (aside from Fickett) John Gunderson, Karo Parisyan, Kendall Grove, Lyle Beerbohm, Marcus Aurelio, Charles Bennett, “Smilin’” Sam Alvey and Roli Delgado. This card saw Fickett matched up against submission specialist Jonatas Novaes.

(WORST. ROLE MODEL. EVER.)

You’ve been clamoring for them, Potato Nation, so we figured we might as well deliver. Perhaps no man in MMA has had a more compelling uplifting interesting story than that of War Machine. The TUF 6 alum’s travels have taken him from the great bays of San Diego to the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, and have seen him do battle with the mighty Krave club bouncers, the mightier Thrusters Club bouncers, California’s most physically fit citizens, and the country’s most upstanding adult films stars.

But, as with the tale of John Carter, which War Machine has chosen to mold his life after, adversity would not keep a good man down. To keep us entertained whilst in prison, Machine released a series of prison blogs that discussed everything from his squabbles with cellmates to his desire to fornicate with a bologna sandwich. After being released from prison last August, the fighter formerly known as John Koppenhaver proved that Floyd Mayweather was just a big pussy by scoring arguably the biggest victory of his MMA career by TKO’ing former UFC superstar Roger Huerta in the third round of their scrap just a few months later. Unfortunately for the Machine, he was informed that he would be headed back to prison to serve time for one of the various assaults he has committed over the past couple of years.

So, without further introduction, may we present you with the first group of War Machine’s prison blogs, which details both his newfound affection for Kendall Grove and his ability to travel to other dimensions while meditating. Don’t worry, more are surely to come.

Week 3

Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes.

(*Hello darkness, my old friend*…just to be clear, we’re referring to the darkness that accompanies being choked unconscious, not Jay Silva.)

To say that Kendall Grove has seen some ups and downs in his MMA career since winning the third season of The Ultimate Fighter would be an understatement. After defeating Ed Herman by ultra close unanimous decision to earn the coveted glass plaque, Grove would tack up two more submission wins over Chris Price and Alan Belcher. It seemed as if the lanky middleweight had the world in the palm of his hand, destined to follow Forrest Griffin and Rashad Evans as the new breed of MMA stars to make their name off the show.

And then it all fell apart.

Grove would drop his next two via form of KO to Patrick Cote and Jorge Rivera, and though he would follow up the pair of losses with victories over Evan Tanner (R.I.P.) and Jason Day, we would never see Grove rise above the rank of gatekeeper in his UFC run. He would go 2-4 in his next six, and would be ousted from the UFC after dropping a UD to Tim Boetsch at UFC 130 in Boetsch’s middleweight debut.

After scoring a quick submission win and evening the score with Joe Riggs, Grove out grappled Japanese sensation Ikuhisa Minowa at a Pro Elite event last month that we here at CP gave an official score of “meh.” Would last night’s SCC 4 card house “Da Spyda’s” first three fight win streak since 2007?

Brent Schermerhorn vs. Kaleo Gambill, the lone knockout from the main card. All videos props to IronForgesIron.com

When we last checked in on ProElite, the promotion was in the midst of a heavyweight grand prix that had the announcer for the evening tweeting mid-bout that he was falling asleep. Mix in unimpressive victories for Tim Sylvia and Andre Arlovski, and a disappointing performance from Reagan Penn, and the phrase “rock bottom” comes to mind. Things could have gotten more boring, sure. But if they did, we wouldn’t waste time telling you about it.

Needless to say ProElite’s third installment, which took place last night in Hawaii, was a step in the right direction. While the main event and co-main event were nothing to write home about, the card saw some entertaining fights and quick finishes.

In the evening’s main event, Minowa started out strong, landing leg kicks against Kendall Grove and securing a takedown at the end of the round. However, Grove was able to find his range by the second round, and outpointed Minowa en route to a unanimous decision. We don’t know how much time Minowa spent training against a person sitting on someone else’s shoulders poking at him with sticks in preparation for his American debut, but our guess is “not enough”.

(Avenge us, Kendall. AVENGE US.)

Remember yesterday when we found that amazing drawing of Ikuhisa Minowa fighting Godzilla, and used it as an excuse to run a relatively pointless post confirming that Minowaman would not, in fact, be fighting Brian Stann at UFC 144? Man, the crazy antics we get up to when nobody’s watching.

The thing is, we actually have some legit news to pass along about DREAM’s reigning Super Hluk [sic] champion. MMAFighting is reporting that Minowa will make his U.S. MMA debut at ProElite 3 (January 21st, Honolulu) where he’ll face rangy UFC veteran Kendall “Da Spyder” Grove. Okay, so it’s not the kind of freak-show matchup we’re used to seeing from Minowaman — but at least Grove is really tall for a middleweight.

That’s the damnedest case of jock itch we’ve ever seen, Kendall. (Pic: ProElite.com)

As the crowds in Rio walked out of UFC 134 and headed for the Copacabana Club, MMA fans in Honolulu, Hawaiia made their way to the Neal S. Blaisdell Center to witness the rebirth of ProElite. Those who watched were treated to submissions and knockouts galore as not a single bout went the distance, but there was more at stake than mere wins and losses. Last night’s biggest fights weren’t waged for a fight purse or sponsorships, but for the value in a name.

ProElite has a name many hardcore fans recognize, but not for reasons the promotion would want. From their previous partnership with noted scumbags to the messy collapse of their first run, they return to the promotion game carrying a lot of baggage. They can distance themselves from previous debacles by doing one thing, and that’s putting on quality, scandal free events. Last night was a step in the right direction. ProElite needs to build, but build slowly.

A run down of the fights, and video of the the Reagan Penn fight, after the jump.

Interview with BJ Penn’s brother, Reagan, who makes his MMA debut tonight. Props: MMAHawaii.com.

Many readers are probably looking for something to do after UFC 134 tonight. Preferably something that will involve a local bar with good drink specials and attractive women. Well, we can’t help you there. But for those hardcore MMA fans among us who don’t have things like “social lives” or “friends” holding you back, Sherdog has you covered with a live stream of ProElite’s return.

The stream begins at 1 A.M. ET on Sunday morning, and no, you don’t have to pay for it.

Aside from the return of Andrei Arlovski against King of the Cage light-heavyweight Ray Lopez, the event also features a middleweight tilt between the recently axed Kendall Grove and Joe Riggs. Both fighters are riding two fight losing streaks into the cage tonight. Also on the card are 2009 NCAA D1 wrestling champion Mark Ellis, UFC veteran Drew McFedries and BJ Penn’s younger brother, Reagan Penn, who is making his MMA debut. Again, you don’t have to pay for it.

(Arlovski will have a 53″ reach advantage.)

According to a report from KHON2 in Hawaii, back-from-the-dead MMA promotion ProElite has signed former UFC heavyweight champion Andrei Arlovski to compete at its upcoming August 27th event, which will take place at the Blaisdell Center in Honolulu.

“The Pitbull” will be looking to snap a four-fight losing streak that includes first-round knockouts against Fedor Emelianenko, Brett Rogers, and Sergei Kharitonov. Arlovski’s opponent is unknown at this time — but since Tim Sylvia is also being rumored as another ProElite signee, well, are you thinking what we’re thinking?

(RIP Evan Tanner.)

Well, it wasn’t the most MMA history-steeped day, but there were a few noteworthy events that took place on this day in MMA.

The Ultimate Fighter 7 Finale went down 3 years ago.

Evan Tanner Post Fight Interview
Tags: Evan Tanner Post Fight Interview

Why it Matters:

The event marked the final fight of former UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner before his untimely death in the Paolo Verde, California desert. In spite of a close split-decision loss to Kendall Grove on the card, Tanner would give perhaps his last and most harrowing interview that provided an eerie foreboding soundbite that fans will forever make wonder if it was in reference to his career or his troubled life. “I’m feeling off, flat, can’t move. Maybe it’s…you know…Maybe my day is done.”

The event also saw the first TUF winner with no professional fighting experience crowned. Amir Sadollah, who has since racked up a respectable 5-2 record in the Octagon defeated the more seasoned former Arizona State wrestling standout CB Dollaway by first round submission.

One of the night’s winners, Diego Sanchez, would make an ill-fated decision he may now regret in retrospective. Following his win over Luigi Florvanti, Diego announced that he would be dropping to light weight to take a run at a title in the lighter class. After racking up a pair of wins over Joe Stevenson and CLay Guida, “The Nightmare,” as he was known back then, lost via decisive fifth-round TKO stoppage to then-lightweight champion BJ Penn at UFC 107. After a one-year stint as a lightweight, the TUF 1 middleweight winner decided to move back up to welterweight where he has since compiled a 2-1 record with a loss to John Hathaway and a pair of wins over Martin Kampmann and Paulo Thiago.

Just think of the captions that a lesser journalist would come up with. Seriously, just think it this time.

You had to see this one coming. Three weeks out from his unanimous decision defeat to Tim Boetsch at UFC 130, the UFC has decided to part ways with TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove. After defeating Ed Herman to win The Ultimate Fighter 3 back in 2006, Grove has gone 6-6 in the UFC, including losses to Patrick Cote, Mark Munoz and Demian Maia. Aside from Ed Herman, the only fighter that Kendall Grove holds a win over who is still fighting in the UFC is Alan Belcher, who he defeated by D’Arce choke back at UFC 69 in April of 2007.

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com. Rampage’s victory reaction gif is now after the jump.)

When the anticipated rematch between Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard was scrapped from this card, we were left with a few big names and a lot of hope. Despite a few stellar knockouts earlier in the evening, UFC 130 ended much like my date to see “No Strings Attached”: a lot of booing, a disappointing 15 minute fight, and I was out $50.

Every UFC card has to be about something, and with no gold up for grabs the storyline for this event became Quinton Jackson’s climb back up to the top of the Light Heavyweight division. Dana White declared and Rogan and Goldberg echoed that an impressive, entertaining victory over Matt Hamill would land Rampage a title fight with champ Jon Jones. Rampage secured the win, but his shot at the belt is still up in the air.

(Awwwwww! Props: Chad S., Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- UFC 128: Is Jon Jones a Dream Come True for Dana White and the UFC? (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- ‘UFC Primetime’ Returns for St. Pierre vs. Shields (MMA-Scraps)

- Frank Shamrock: I Did Not Offer to Take a Dive Against Kimbo Slice (MMA Fighting)

- Crazy Talk? Dan Henderson Could Give Jon Jones a Fight (MMA Convert)

- Exclusive Interview: Brian Ebersole Talks About Eating Marijuana Cookies and Being ‘The White Anderson Silva’ (MiddleEasy)

- Kendall Grove Facing Tim Boetsch at UFC 130 (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Anderson Silva Says Jon Jones’ Performance Was “Amazing”; Not Ruling out a Return to 205 (LowKick)

- Dana White “Worried” for UFC Champ Jon Jones (5thRound)

- Five Lessons: UFC 128 (Versus MMA Beat)

- Guida (#6) vs. Pettis (#9) Headlines Ultimate Fighter 13 Finale (Fight Magazine)

(Above: "Remember, remember, the fourth of December, the Gunpowder Treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot, brah." 
Below: You know what to do, honey. / Photos courtesy of UFC.com)

Welcome, fight fans, to the first leg of a liveblog double-header on CagePotato.com. The TUF 12 Finale gets rolling on Spike at 9 p.m. ET, with Team GSP lightweight finalists Jonathan Brookins and Michael Johnson battling for the highly coveted glassware, Stephan Bonnar trying to build a winning streak against Igor Pokrajac, and Demian Maia tangling with rangy TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove. Plus, five other TUF 12 vets will do their best to hang on to their UFC contracts, including Nam Phan, who clashes with hardy slugger Leonard Garcia in the UFC’s first-ever televised 145-pound feature. (Yes, the UFC has featherweights now!)

Round-by-round results await you after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest. Please toss in your two cents in the comments section, and don’t forget to check in at our viewing party at PlayPhilo.com for a chance to win a UFC: Ultimate 100 Greatest Fights DVD set. 

(Stephan Bonnar: He will stand there all day like that.)

The finale show for The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck — slated for December 4th at the Palms in Las Vegas — just picked up its first two official matchups. According to a press release sent out by Spike this morning, the event will feature a middleweight contest between former title contender Demian Maia and TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove. Maia most recently outpointed Mario Miranda at UFC 118 in Boston, while Grove is coming off a split-decision win over Goran Reljic at UFC 116.

Also on the card, Stephan Bonnar will try to follow up his TKO victory/Fight of the Night against Krzysztof Soszynski (also at UFC 116) when he meets Igor Pokrajac, the man responsible for choking James Irvin out of the UFC. With his 1-2 Octagon record, Pokrajac isn’t exactly a step up in competition for Bonnar after the K-Sos fight. But it’s a fight that Bonnar can win, and if you don’t like seeing Bonnar win fights, we have one question for you: Why do you hate America so much?

Related: According to an MMAJunkie report, the TUF 12 Finale will also host a welterweight battle between Johny Hendricks (9-0, 4-0 UFC) and Rick Story (11-3, 4-1 UFC).

(Where’s your glass trophy now, playboy? Props: thesun.co.uk)

By CagePotato contributor Jim Genia

In a perfect world, The Ultimate Fighter would give us an up close and personal look at some of the most promising mixed martial artists out there, vying for greatness in the crucible of combat. But in reality, it’s become a perversion of manufactured drama and prefabricated stars — stars made bright not by the depth of the competition they must face but by the trouncing of whatever hapless wannabes a SpikeTV producer chose at the tryouts. You see, it stopped being about “who’s the best” a long time ago, and was twisted into “who makes for the best TV,” so what we get now is more Jersey Shore than Ultimate Fighting Championship, only instead of Snooki and JWoww’s cleavage we get an IFL champ or Sengoku veteran beating the ever-loving crap out of people with maybe a handful (if that) of fights.

That’s why, when a TUF winner loses in Octagon — sometimes after facing real UFC-level competition for the first time — it’s totally awesome! Because, sure, Michael Bisping, Joe Stevenson and Mac Danzig are tough, likeable guys, but don’t try to fool us into thinking they’re the definition of “badass” just because they defeated a personal trainer from New Orleans, a boxer from Maine and some kid who should be working on a farm. We’re not the ignorant general public flicking through the channels, we’re knowledgeable MMA fans. We know better!

Therefore, here, in no particular order, is a list of the ten greatest TUF winner fails of all time. It’s a list based not on animosity towards any particular fighter, but on animosity towards the Spike TV executive who skipped over the few hundred fighter hopefuls with real talent and real skill, and instead chose the clown with the funky hair, the drinking problem and the propensity for trashing houses…

Michael Bisping vs. Dan Henderson, UFC 100
British fighter Michael Bisping was a stud in the UK MMA scene (which is a lot like saying you’re a gold medalist in the Special Olympics) when he got the call to compete on TUF, and he took Season 3 top honors after beating, well, pretty much no one of note. But he continued to rack up wins on the pay-per-views, defeating such marginables as Elvis Sinosic, Charles McCarthy and Jason Day. However, TUF 9 saw him pitted against Dan Henderson as an opposing coach, and we were supposed to believe the inevitable Octagon conflict between them would be competitive. It wasn’t, and fans everywhere rejoiced over a knockout so devastating Bisping has no recollection of anything to do with the weekend of July 11, 2009 and about nine days before and after.

(Sakuraba vs. Mayhem at DREAM.16: A fight so amazing, it can only be described as ‘Fantasista’. Props: YouTube.com/DREAM)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Todd Duffee Released By The UFC; Manager Calls Him an "Ass" (MMA Convert)

– Ariel Helwani goes backstage with MMA broadcast icon Mauro Ranallo. (MMA Fighting)

– Want a pair of tickets to UFC 119: Mir vs. Cro Cop? All you need is a name and an e-mail address… (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Kendall Grove confirms fight with Demian Maia at TUF 12 Finale in December (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Ring Girls Round-Up: Shark Fights Angels (LowKick)

– After Defeating James Toney, Does Randy Couture Have One Last Title Run Left? (Versus MMA Beat)

– Brock Lesnar’s Most Unintentionally Hilarious TV Spots (Watch Kalib Run)

– Exclusive Bellator 27 Photo Gallery (Fight! Magazine)

– After escaping from a mental institution last month, MMA cult hero Viacheslav Datsik is still at large, and preparing for his comeback. (MiddleEasy)

– 10 MMA Photos That Will Scare Your Children and Make You Cry Yourself to Sleep (MMA Scraps)

(Rule #17 of the Fighter Fist Pose: Never rest your head on the shoulder of a chubby man in a floral-print shirt, as it will completely negate the fist-pose’s power. / Photo courtesy of the TUF 11 Finale: Afterparty pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com.)

Want your highly entertaining and incredibly popular MMA site to be part of the Wednesday morning link club? E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details…

– Fabricio Werdum: ‘I will choke Fedor in the first round’ (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Jan Finney Isn’t Going to “Cuddle” Cris Cyborg (FightMagazine)

– Ten Things We Learned From WEC 49 (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Biggest Story Heading Into UFC 116 Is Not Brock Lesnar, It’s Shane Carwin (WatchKalibRun)

– ‘Strikeforce: Los Angeles’ Fighter Salaries (MMA Fighting)

– Kendall Grove Says Spike TV Controls ‘The Ultimate Fighter’, Not the UFC (MiddleEasy)

– MMAScraps Radio: Cain Velasquez, Ben Rothwell and Chris Barnett (MMA Scraps)

(DaMarques Johnson turns the tables on Brad Blackburn. Photo courtesy of allelbows.)

Since UFC 112 featured two title fights that both went the distance in completely baffling fashion, we didn’t get to see much preliminary card action, with the exception of Phil Davis’s first-round stoppage of Alexander Gustafsson. Here’s how the dark matches shook out…

– Phil Davis def. Alexander Gustafsson via submission (anaconda choke), 4:55 of round 1. 
– Rick Story def. Nick Osipczak via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
– DaMarques Johnson def. Brad Blackburn via TKO, 2:08 of round 3
– Paul Kelly def. Matt Veach via submission (guillotine choke), 3:41 of round 2
– Jon Madsen def. Mostapha Al Turk via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

With three straight losses, Al Turk is definitely heading to the scrap yard after this one, while Blackburn and Veach may also be in trouble after suffering their second-consecutive defeats. But enough about those poor losers. Blackburn’s opponent DaMarques Johnson picked up a $75,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for putting Bad Brad away with a body kick in the third round of their fight after getting handled for most of the first two frames. Rafael Dos Anjos was awarded the Submission of the Night bonus for his armbar of Terry Etim, while the Fight of the Night was given to Mark Munoz and Kendall Grove for their two-rounder, which Munoz won via TKO after almost getting finished repeatedly in round one.

(How quickly they forget that time you totally jumped out of that pool.)

It’s a real bummer of a Monday for Jake Rosholt, as the 8-2 middleweight announced on his Twitter that he’s been cut from the UFC following a first-round submission loss to Kendall Grove at UFC 106.  Rosholt was terse about the whole thing, writing only: "Not a good day.  Just found out I got cut by the #UFC." 

Rosholt, a Division I wrestling champ and four-time All American at Oklahoma State, was undefeated before transitioning from the WEC to the UFC earlier this year, but he’s gone 1-2 since stepping in the Octagon, with his lone win coming via arm triangle chokeout against Chris Leben at UFC 102 in August.  What’s got to make this a really tough pill for Rosholt to swallow is that, right up until he got caught in that triangle, he was dominating Grove.  He pushed him all over the cage, took him down with ease, and appeared to be on his way toward a quick victory.  But one little mistake cost him the fight, and as an extra little kick in the balls he now he finds himself out of a job. 

Obviously some other organization can find a use for him, and it seems very likely that he’ll make his way back to the UFC in the future, but for right now it has to sting knowing that he should be spending his win bonus and thinking about who’s next.  Instead he’s circling the MMA want ads and reusing Ziploc bags to save money.  Just goes to show how easily fortunes change in this sport.  Keep your head up, Jake. 

(Well, at least you and Rude Boy will finally be able to open that taco stand you’ve been talking about for the last five years. Again, props to CombatLifestyle.)

Though he was successful in his last performance — a split-decision victory over Evan Tanner at the TUF 7 finale last June — Kendall Grove‘s previous back-to-back losses still seem to be fresh in Dana White’s mind. As the UFC prez told USA Today, in regards to Grove’s UFC 96 matchup with Jason Day:

It’s cool, Dana — we forget about Travis Lutter sometimes, too. Anyway, that’s what we call "tough love." Is it possible that DW is suggesting that Da Spyder’s job is on the line just to add another hook to Saturday’s show, which has very little heat behind it right now? Grove had better win, just in case his boss backs up his words.

Also in the USA Today article, Dana expressed frustration at Keith Jardine’s recent comments that he wouldn’t fight his friend and teammate Rashad Evans for the UFC’s light-heavyweight title if he was given the opportunity:

It is aggravating when team alliances get in the way of compelling matchups (see also: Anderson Silva staying out of the light-heavyweight division because "this belt belongs to Lyoto"), but you can’t force people to fight each other. Danny Trejo tried that once, and wound up getting shot in the gut by Ken Shamrock’s wife. You just never know how people will react when their backs are against the wall…

(Props: MMA Mania) 

The UFC has released the official fight order for UFC 96 (March 7th; Columbus, OH). Here’s what we’re looking at:

MAIN CARD
Quinton Jackson vs. Keith Jardine (LHW)
Matt Hamill vs. Mark Munoz (LHW)
Pete Sell vs. Matt Brown (WW)
Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Shane Carwin (HW)
Gray Maynard vs. Jim Miller (LW)

UNDERCARD 
Tamdan McCrory vs. Ryan Madigan (WW)
Kendall Grove vs. Jason Day (MW)
Tim Boetsch vs. Jason Brilz (LHW)
Brandon Vera vs. Mike Patt (LHW)
Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson (LW)

Your eyes do not deceive you: Brandon Vera is deeeeep on the dark card, fighting a dude who got wrecked by Tim Boetsch in his UFC debut last September. If this isn’t a your-last-chance kind of situation, I don’t know what is. But while I understand that match’s placement — losing three of your last four fights will generally earn you some sort of punishment from the UFC — I don’t see how Sell vs. Brown is a PPV-main-card-caliber fight, especially when a promising bout like Grove vs. Day is on the undercard. Ah well. Weak lineups have surprised us before, and as long as the main event and Gonzaga vs. Carwin deliver, how bad can it be? 

Discussion topic for your MMA study groups: Who will remain conscious longer, Jardine or Gonzaga?

(You know, Dean, if you keep making that face it’ll stay that way forever. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

— The fact that middleweight submission specialist Dean Lister is out of the UFC isn’t too surprising after his terrible performance last month against Yushin Okami, but Lister reportedly requested the contract release himself. He is already in talks with several rival promotions, including Affliction and DREAM, for a new deal. Lister compiled a record of 4-2 in the UFC, and is 11-6 overall.

— Anthony Johnson and Luigi Fioravanti have agreed to face each other at UFC Fight Night 17 (February 7th; Tampa, Florida). Both welterweights are coming off of victories last month; Johnson knocked out Kevin Burns at the TUF 8 finale, and Luigi Fioravanti notched a unanimous decision win over Brodie Farber at "Fight for the Troops."

— TUF 3 middleweight winner Kendall Grove has also been booked for his next scrap. "Da Spyder" is slated to face Jason Day at UFC 96 (March 7th; Columbus, Ohio). Grove last competed in June, when he broke a two-fight losing streak with a split-decision victory over Evan Tanner at the TUF 7 finale. Day has also been out of action since June, losing to Michael Bisping via first-round TKO at UFC 85.

— During an interview with the local NBC news affiliate in Des Moines, Josh Neer apologized to his friends and fans for his New Year’s Eve DUI arrest; he will find out this week if his upcoming fight with Mac Danzig will still take place, and if he still has a job with the UFC. According to reporter Elias Johnson, "once you’re done in the UFC, it’s over." 

— Nearly one-third of UFC 92′s 14,166 spectators didn’t pay for their seats.

(Jenna, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.)

Holy crap! CagePotato.com turns one year old today, y’all! Many thanks to those of you who have stuck with us since the beginning — or the close-to-beginning, at least — and helped build this little site into what I believe is the most entertaining and energetic MMA community on the Internet. Lots of bigger and badder things to come, so stay tuned and tell your friends. To honor this day, let’s take a trip in the way-back machine, and revisit 25 of CagePotato’s all-time greatest moments. Enjoy…
(BG)

Sylvia’s ego, Franklin’s face get battered at UFC 77 (First-ever post on CagePotato)

The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

Urijah Faber: Hard Out Here for a Pimp (CP’s first original interview)

Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFl World Grand Prix

The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

Blogger Power! UFC Fight Night 13 Stretched to Three Hours (possibly my favorite photo caption, though this one‘s pretty dear to me as well)

“Tappin’ Out’s for *Whores*”: Matt Serra at the 7/11

The Eight Most Insane Victory Celebrations of All Time

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

The 10 Hottest Ring Girls in MMA

Nogueira, Mir to Coach Next Season of TUF (Fowlkes scoops the Internet by a full month)

Dear Guy Attending This Live MMA Event: An Open Letter

All fighters made weight yesterday for the “Ultimate Fighter” Finale on Saturday night. If you thought weigh-ins were just a boring photo-op where guys stand around on a scale in their underwear, then you obviously haven’t seen a weigh-in hosted by Joe Rogan. In the above video you can hear Rogan cranking up the enthusiasm by screaming every word he says, despite the fact that he is already holding a microphone.

For a look at the really awkward staredown between Evan Tanner and Kendall Grove, skip to the end. And no, by awkward I don’t just mean that Tanner has a huge beard during it, though he does.

CB Dollaway and Amir Sadollah talk about tonight’s fight and their road to the finals after the jump.

(Da Spyder)

Two years ago Kendall Grove was on top of the world. He came through season three of “The Ultimate Fighter” and beat out Ed Herman in a climactic bout to win the finale and a UFC contract. Now Grove finds himself back on another “Ultimate Fighter Finale” card, but in a much different situation. Coming off two straight knockout losses, he’s fighting to prove he belongs in the UFC, as is his opponent, Evan Tanner.

In this exclusive Cage Potato interview, Grove opened up about what it means to fight for your job, and how he plans to pull himself out of the lowest point of his career and get back in the win column in a fight neither man can afford to lose.

CagePotato.com: Hey, Kendall. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me. What have you been doing in training for this fight to prepare for Evan Tanner?

Kendall Grove: I moved back to Hawaii. I moved back to Maui, but I’ve been in Hilo working with BJ Penn. I’m just getting ready for a fight where anything can happen. Whatever happens, happens. I know he’s going to want to take me down so I’ve been working with some big wrestlers to get ready for that. I’m just ready for war.

Do you expect him to come in with a sense of desperation in this fight?

Yeah, I do. I think we’re in the same position that way. We both need to win. This is a do-or-die fight for both of us.

Does that mean you’re assuming that the loser of this fight will be cut from the UFC?

I think so. Nobody likes a loser. That’s just how it is. I think that makes for a great fight. We’re both fighting for our jobs, you know? When you’re fighting for your job you have to go out there and give it everything you have. That’s all you can do.

What’s it like fighting as the main event for an Ultimate Fighter Finale, fighting for your job, when just two years ago you were fighting as a contestant and it seemed like a high point in your career?

Yeah, it’s weird. I evolved there as a fighter. That’s where I was born into the UFC. I had my ups and suffered some downs since then. But it’s not like I was fighting punks. I was fighting tough guys and I had some tough losses. That’s why I’m in the fight game, to fight tough guys.

It was very nice two years ago to be fighting in the finale and it’s cool to see those guys coming out of it now, but I’m a different person now than I was then.

How are you a different person now? How is the Kendall Grove of today different than the guy who won TUF?

(Unfortunately, his fight with “Da Spyder” won’t be a pick-axe death-match.)

— Fedor Emelianenko recently carried the Olympic torch in St. Petersburg. There were no survivors.

— In a match where the loser may have to re-think their current career path, Kendall Grove and Evan Tanner have been booked to face each other at the Ultimate Fighter 7 finale on June 21st in Las Vegas. Grove, the middleweight winner from the third season of TUF, has dropped back-to-back contests against Patrick Cote and Jorge Rivera, while Tanner has lost three of his last four UFC matches, most recently a second-round KO loss to Yushin Okami at UFC 82. By the way, Tanner’s blog is back up, after being taken down temporarily in the wake of his gambling bender post.

— Kenny Florian will join Mike Goldberg in the broadcast booth at UFC 83 (April 19th, Montreal), filling in for Joe Rogan, who will be unable to attend due to previous obligations. We look forward to a new voice constantly correcting Goldberg, as well as less references to the “rape choke.”

— Kim Couture won her first MMA match on Saturday in Portland, Oregon, taking care of Jessica Cruz via ground-and-pound TKO at 1:43 of the third round. “It was a good fight for Kim because Cruz was scrappy,” Randy Couture said. “You don’t want your first fight to be too easy, but you don’t want to be over your head either. It was a perfect first fight.” Speaking of Randy, he addressed his future in a new interview with MMAMadness, saying “More than likely, I will end up signing with HDNet and Affliction. Realistically, that is the best option.”

— In his first match since his back exploded during Strikeforce at the Dome in February, Joe Riggs will headline Phoenix Fight: Street Justice on April 26 in Halifax, Nova Scotia, facing Mike Gates (5-3-1). Gates is a natural welterweight, and the match will be fought at a catchweight of 180 lbs.

— You know that skinny, nerdy looking new UFC ref who handled the Hamill/Boetsch and Maynard/Edgar fights at UFN 13? Well, apparently he has an open marriage.

Another injury has forced a fighter on the February 23rd Strikeforce At the Dome card to pull out of his fight. Yesterday, Brad Blackburn went down with a shoulder injury. MMAWeekly reports today that middleweight journeyman Cedric Marks has also tweaked his shoulder, and will be replaced by UFC veteran Joe Riggs, who will face 7-1 Washington-native Cory Devela. After a long stint in the Rage in the Cage organization and other regional shows, Riggs worked his way up to the UFC where he compiled a 4-4 record. His most notable match was a November 2005 fight against Matt Hughes that was scheduled to be for the welterweight title; Riggs failed to make weight, the match was downgraded into a non-championship fight, and Riggs lost anyway. His last fight was a first-round knockout victory over Eugene Jackson at a Strikeforce event last Sepember.

For your viewing pleasure…

Joe Riggs vs. Kendall Grove (5/7/04)

If you missed Saturday’s play-by-play, click here.

Jorge Rivera steamrolls Kendall Grove.

Marcus Davis’s phantom knockout punch coma-tizes Jess Liaudin.

Colin Robinson goes up against Antoni Hardonk, gets life saved by Mario Yamasaki, whines like an asshole.

On an unrelated note, I’d like to take this opportunity to rag on the UFC for leaving all ring-card-holding duties to Arianny and Edith. If we have to put up with the one-dimensional antics of local scrappers like Paul Taylor, Paul Kelly, and Colin Robinson, could the UFC have maybe found some hot British chicks to step in as guest Octagon Girls? Just a thought. I got a million of ‘em.

After battling to a unanimous decision win over Ed Herman to take the middleweight contract on The Ultimate Fighter 3, Kendall “Da Spyder” Grove looked to be on the UFC’s fast track. The lanky Maui-native took his first UFC loss in August when he was knocked out by Patrick “The Predator” Côté, but he looks to get his momentum back on January 19 when he faces Jorge Rivera at UFC 80: Rapid Fire. We called Da Spyder to rap about banned substances, life as a reality show star, Dana White, and his place in the middleweight division.

CagePotato.com: Congrats on getting a fight at UFC 80. Will this be your first trip to England?
Kendall Grove: Yeah, first trip. I’m excited — there’s nothing like fighting in the soccer riot capital of the world. Who knows what’s gonna break out in the audience, man.

What’s your training routine been like?
I’m sparring a lot more — maybe two hard days and two light days of sparring — and every day I’m doing jiu-jitsu. I lift weights four times a week, and I run three miles every morning, first thing when I wake up.

Are you one of those crazy dudes who gives up booze and sex and all that when you’re getting ready for a fight?
Yeah. After my last fight against Patrick [Cote], I changed a lot of things in my personal life. I cut back on drinking. Because this reality show shit does get to your head, you know? Everybody wants to hang out with you. As for sex, yeah, my girl has been horny and she’s pregnant, so that’s pretty much out of the question. Other than that, I eat good, but I’m not afraid to go eat some milk and cookies or ice cream at night. I cheat a lot on my diet, but I’m 6’6″, 185. I’m Hawaiian-Ethiopian, you know what I mean?

How do you think you match up with Rivera?
I think I match up good. We’re both tough, tough fighters. We both fight ’til the bitter end. I think it’s going to come down to conditioning. I know that towards the end of the second or third rounds, he starts to slow down a little, and kinda’ paces himself. I think I’m just going to put it on him — I’ll dictate the pace of the fight. Rivera’s a seasoned vet, and I think he’s a good opponent, regardless of his losses. Everybody loses. That’s why I love this sport, MMA and the UFC, because nobody is invincible. Anybody can get taken out, just by one punch. I think he’s going to be a tough opponent and an exciting fight for me.

Who do you like in the BJ Penn/Joe Stevenson fight?
I’m friends with both of them, so right now I’d just say I’d like to see a good fight. May the best fighter win. I know BJ —he’s another local boy from Hawaii doing his thing. He’s one of my heroes that motivated me. And here comes Joe Stevenson. I lived with him for two years — he’s one of the reasons why I got on The Ultimate Fighter, so it’s hard for me to pick. I’m right in the middle. I got two real good friends fighting each other.

How about Gabriel Gonzaga’s fight against Fabricio Werdum?
I think Gonzaga will pull it off. He’s a tough, tough dude.

Do you think marijuana should still be a banned substance for mixed martial artists?
I don’t think so. It’s definitely not an enhancement drug. [laughs]

Nick Diaz got a six-month suspension for testing positive for marijuana, and Sean Sherk got six months for steroids — do you think that’s fair?
I don’t think so. See, marijuana is a touchy subject. I’m a rock star — I’ve been smoking weed since I was in the 6th grade, I can openly say that. But I’m also clean when I fight. I cut that shit out — I’m a professional. Don’t get me wrong, my first six fights, I fought high, I fought stoned. But when you get to this level, you have to take responsibility. It’s your job. I stop doing that stuff three months out. I just think they blew it way out of proportion. What did they say with Nick Diaz? “Oh, him smoking weed made his pain threshold higher—”

It’s ridiculous.
It’s stupid. Steroids actually make you run faster, make you stronger — it’s a performance enhancer. And weed just makes you gain weight and be lazy. [laughs]