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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: Kenny Florian

Friday Links: GSP Cleared to Train Again, Medieval Knight MMA, Brandon Vera Books First Post-UFC Fight + More


(The exact moment when Kenny Florian met the love of his life, Clark Gilmer. Crazy. Props to Karyn Bryant/MMA HEAT)

Georges St-Pierre Medically Cleared to Resume Training (UFC.com)

Report: Fabricio Werdum Nearly Poisoned to Death in Mexico During UFC 180 Training Camp (MMAMania)

Today’s Lesson From M-1: Always Bring a Knight to an MMA Fight (MiddleEasy)

Miesha Tate Has A Few Words Of Advice For You — So Pay Attention (AskMen)

Justin Bieber Is Now Being Trained to Box by Floyd Mayweather Jr. (BleacherReport)

Brandon Vera Makes One FC Debut Against Igor Subora at ‘Warrior’s Way’ on Dec. 5 (Sherdog)

Must-See GIF: Giant Swing, Leg Lock, Flair Flop Celebration (gfycat)

Gallery: Star Wars Episode VII Leaked Concept Art (ScreenJunkies)

Smoke On This: Afroman Remixes “Because I Got High” For Marijuana Reform (PopHangover)

The 50 Worst Photos Ever Taken by Professional Photographers (WorldwideInterweb)

Manly Man Impaled by Frozen Paintball, Doesn’t Flinch (EveryJoe)

NYCC 2014 Cosplay Gallery – Day 4 (Gamefront)

Who You Are…According to Your Fridge (Radass)

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The Top Ten Times Dana White Buried His Own Fighters


(Warning: The Danascowl has appeared. Brace for impact. / Photo via Getty)

By Mike Fagan

They say pimping ain’t easy, and that’s probably true for promoting too. (There’s a whole host of other uncomfortable comparisons to be made between the two professions as well.) Pimping is probably a lot harder when you constantly denigrate your talent. “Yeah, Mary? She makes a weird squealing noise when you bang her. But hey, it’s your money.” Yet, that’s exactly what UFC president Dana White does. Here are the top ten instances of Dana White burying his own fighters.

Honorable Mention: Antonio Silva

The UFC buried him. Literally.

10. (Tie) Kenny Florian and Nate Marquardt

Kenny Florian and Nate Marquardt are two very different people. Where Florian is a suave, dark-haired Massachusetts lifer, Marquardt is a ginger mountain man who made sure to list himself first and foremost as a Christian on his Twitter bio. They have one thing in common though: Dana White called them both chokers.

Nate Marquardt lost a close fight to Yushin Okami at UFC 122. Okami was 9-2 in the UFC heading into the fight, and would go on to fight Anderson Silva for the title in his next appearance. That didn’t stop Dana White from calling Marquardt a choker and blasting the Greg Jackson-led corner (more on him in a bit!) for telling Marquardt he was leading on points.

As for Florian, White said he didn’t want to “take anything away from Gray Maynard” and wasn’t “bad-mouthing” or “trying to disrespect” Florian after UFC 118. But that’s exactly what he did when he said Florian “chokes in big fights” before reducing his performance to standing and staring at Maynard. Florian’s five UFC losses came to Diego Sanchez, Sean Sherk, B.J. Penn, Maynard, and Jose Aldo — all champions or title challengers. Maybe, just maybe, the overachieving Florian just wasn’t on their level?

9. Jose Aldo

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The 10 Best UFC Post-Fight Press Conference Sadfaces


(“I am not impress wit my performance” – Photo by Esther Lin for MMAFighting)

By Ryan Harkness

Schadenfreude is the German word for taking pleasure from the misfortune of others, and aside from scheisseporn it’s pretty much the best word to come out of Germany untranslated. The German fußball team gave us some textbook definition schadenfreude action when they crushed Brazil 7-1 in the World Cup earlier this week, and everyone on the internet delighted in watching the host nation weep like little bitches during the meltdown.

Evil pleasure aside, there’s something fascinating about seeing another human wallowing in sadness. And outside of a choking team’s arena or third world country, I’d argue there’s no better place to stare sadness in the face than at a UFC post-fight press conference.

While most of the defeated fighters on a card get to skip the conference and ruminate on their losses in private, the loser of the main event is expected to show up and answer sharp questions from our crack MMA media like “How do you feel right now?” and “What is next now that you’ve failed?”

The look on their faces as they struggle to answer will hit you right in the feels. Or trigger dat schadenfreude if you’re a dick. Since I am definitely a dick, allow me to be your sadness sommelier on this tour through the saddest sadfaces at UFC post-fight press conferences…

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Kenny Florian and Renato Laranja’s ‘Heat’ Parody Will Make You LOL Hard, Guaranteed

This settles it: Kenny Florian does the best Al Pacino impression in the world (among retired UFC fighters). Also, if Robert Downey Jr. can get an Oscar nomination for playing an Australian guy playing a black guy, then Rhasaan Orange at least deserves a Webby for playing a Brazilian guy playing Robert De Niro.

The rest of the Renato Laranja Show: Episode 1 is brilliant as well — “Are you a chicken farmer? Because you raised my cock. Porra.” — but honestly, that Heat parody needs to be a full-length movie, with Roy Nelson in the Val Kilmer role.

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Hot Potato: 15 Photos of Model/GLORY Girl/Ken-Flo’s Girlfriend Clark Gilmer

A member of GLORY‘s all-star crew of ring girls, Clark Gilmer is a South Carolina-bred model/actress who competed on season 11 of America’s Next Top Model, and has also made appearances in How I Met Your Mother, Dexter, and Argo*, to name just a few of her TV and film credits.

She also happens to be Kenny Florian‘s girlfriend. Seriously. Here’s a picture of them on a red carpet, where Ken-Flo is wearing some sort of weird hipster costume. Here’s a bunch of photos by James Law in which Clark looks absurdly hot and Kenny Florian just looks like Kenny Florian. I’m not trying to knock Kenny’s hustle, I’m just saying…how the hell did this happen?

Check out more of our favorite Clark Gilmer photos in the gallery below, follow her on twitter, and be sure to tune in to GLORY 12 this Saturday, live on Spike TV (9 p.m. ET / 8 p.m. CT).

* As Clark’s bio explains, Ben Affleck** requested Clark by name to play a small featured role in the film.

** “Get me Clawk fehkin’ Gilmuh, arrite? I need this fehkin’ smoke-show for my pitcheh.” — Direct made-up quote from Ben Affleck

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On This Day in MMA History: Anderson Silva Clowns Forrest Griffin, BJ Chokes Out Ken-Flo, And Johny Hendricks Makes a Smashing Debut at UFC 101


(Photo via Getty. Click to enlarge.)

I tried to punch him and he literally moved his head out of the way and looked at me like I was stupid for doing it. He looked at me like, ‘Why would you do such a stupid thing?’ He looked at me like, ‘Oh, did you really think you were going to hit me? What a stupid thing to think you slow, slow white boy,’ and then he punched me. I felt embarrassed for even trying to punch him. I felt like some kid trying to wrestle with his dad.”

That’s how UFC light-heavyweight Forrest Griffin described his painful run-in with Anderson Silva, which happened exactly four years ago today, on August 8th, 2009. The infamous one-rounder took place during UFC 101: Declaration at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, an event that was headlined by BJ Penn‘s second lightweight title defense against Kenny Florian. (The Silva vs. Griffin non-title fight was slotted in the co-main event; to date, it was the only fight in Silva’s UFC career that wasn’t a main event.)

If you’ll recall, Silva scored the knockout with a short, backpedaling right hand (you might even call it Petruzelli-esque), after putting on a brief clinic on head-movement and showboating. Afterwards, Joe Rogan called Griffin’s loss “one of the most embarrassing knockouts I think we’ve ever seen,” which is a little unfair when you consider Anderson’s other-worldly talent and the fact that Griffin was half-zonked on Xanax at the time.

Besides the incredible/humiliating knockout in the co-main event, UFC 101 was notable for a few other reasons. For instance…

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Does the Pairing of Joe Rogan and Jon Anik for ‘UFC on FOX Sports 1:1′ Signify a Lack of Confidence in Mike Goldberg?


(To be fair, “smelling the opening” is still an incredibly popular phrase on the set of blind pornos.)

We would like to preface this article by stating that we in no way have anything against Mike Goldberg the broadcaster. Sure, he falls back on some cliche phrases every now and again and fumbles through the occasional fighter nickname, but how many of us can claim to be batting a thousand at our respective occupations? Rarely a day goes by where I don’t fumble a fact or treat the English language like an experimental concept, and I usually have the benefit of giving my work a once-over (well, a half-over) before publishing it. In short, Goldberg may not be the best in the business, but the fact that he still seems generally enthused to be at any UFC event after all these years — he first started working with the promotion in 1997 — more than compensates for his sporadic (and often hilarious) cluelessness.

However, the NY Post’s Marc Raimondi broke the news yesterday that the announcing team for the UFC’s Fox Sports 1:1 debut in August would not feature Goldberg at all:

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[VIDEO] Fuel TV’s ‘UFC Fighter Trivia’ Needs to Become Its Own Game Show

Before we even get into the awesome that is UFC Tonight’s recent “Fighter Trivia” episode, I just want to put it out there that I will beat any of you in any game show trivia challenge. Any of you. When I was in college, the only channel my RCA 630TS television received was The Game Show Network. Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, Double Dare, right down to the early pioneers of Press Your Luck, Match Game, Pyramid, and The Price is Right were at my disposal on a near 24/7 basis. When I wasn’t browned out in an alleyway looking for a jar of marmalade and bus ticket to Santa Fe, you could assume I was getting my trivia knowledge on with Brawlin’ Bob and the gang.

So you can imagine my excitement when I came across this gem of an idea Fuel TV devoted an episode of UFC Tonight to, with Ariel Helwani playing the proverbial Bob Eubanks role. The premise is simple, a group of fighters are subjected to what I assume is five rounds of trivia (there aren’t videos of all 5 rounds to confirm/deny this) covering everything from their knowledge of The Ultimate Fighter to that of pop culture. They are paired up for certain rounds, but mostly are forced to go on their own until one man is declared the winner.

For the inaugural segment, Michael Bisping, Rashad Evans, Dominick Cruz, and Kenny Florian were chosen as participants. Spoiler alert: Cruz doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and Bisping knows more about Dora the Explorer than we would have ever imagined.

After the jump: Two snippets from the show in which Florian forgets that Bisping and Evans fought at UFC 78 (along with the rest of the world) and Cruz fails to identify Bruce Springsteen by his nickname. Unforgivable, Dom.

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Wednesday Afternoon Link Dump: Chael Sonnen on ‘Always Sunny’, Kenny Florian Talks Possible Return, The Top Ten UFC 152 Photos + More


(Haley Joel Osment turns in his only best performance in years, but even he is upstaged by Sonnen’s shit-eating troll face.)

GIFathon: Getting to Know UFC’s Jimi Manuwa (BloodyElbow)

- 10 Moments That Made MMA the Sport It Is Today (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Light heavyweight rankings: After the deluge, Jon Jones still No. 1 (MMAFighting)

- The Top Ten UFC 152 Photos (HeavyMMA)

- Rampage Jackson talks newfound love for fighting, says he can beat Jon Jones in a rematch (Lowkick)

- Video: Recovering UFC commentator Kenny Florian undecided on potential MMA return (MMAJunkie)

- Fightlinker UFC 152 Awards (Fightlinker)

- Now Machida wants to fight GSP as well (FightersOnly)

- Best Workout Songs of the Decade (Men’sFitness)

- A Q&A with ADCC world champion Hannette Staack (MiddleEasy)

- Brian Stann: Dana thought I won over Bisping, I did too (CagedInsider)

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Despite What “Rampage” Jackson Says, Linear Knee Strikes Are Much Ado About Nothing


(Who knew keeping your back against the cage was effective defense? This kept Vitor’s knee from ending up like Willis McGahee. Pic Props:Ryan Kightlinger)

By Jason Moles

Yesterday on The MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani, your all too friendly, neighborhood reporter-humping, cage fighter made an appearance. And, as per usual, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson left the MMA world with a lot to talk about after withdrawing from UFC 153 and using TRT to trading verbal jabs and “F*ck you!”‘s with former TUF 10 contestant, Matt Mitrione. What was more notable from the interview was Jackson’s criticism of light heavyweight champion Jon Jones and his dirty, dirty knee kicks.

Vitor took the fight on short notice, and this is how you respect him, by kicking his knee backwards and stuff like that? He’s supposed to be a man of God. You can injure somebody, you can sever their career. You can mess people up for life kicking their knee back like that and he does it repeatedly, over and over. To me that has no honor. I take a lot of honor in fighting. He has no honor.

The former Pride and UFC champion went on to question why the athletic commission even allow “stuff like that” to be legal, arguing that if Jones keeps fighting dirty like this, he’ll put everyone on the shelf and won’t have anyone left to fight. As it would turn out, he’s not alone. TheScore.com’s Adam Martin took to twitter to voice his displeasure of the use of linear kicks to the knee as well and reminded his followers that the CSAC already bans the technique.

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