(Kimbo performing a dramatic retelling of the Samuel L. Jackson narrated “Go the Fuck to Sleep” by way of Tay Bledsoe.)

Youtube Sensation/UFC vet/pornstar confidant Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will be looking to improve his professional boxing record to 4-0 come March 24th, when he welcomes former MMA fighter Mike Glenn to the boxing world at the O’Reilly Center in Springfield, Missouri in a card dubbed Fight Night Returns.

Since being ousted from the UFC following a second round TKO loss to Matt Mitrione at UFC 113 and subsequently calling it a day on his MMA career, Slice has scored three straight victories inside the boxing ring, the first two of which came via brutal one punch knockout inside the first round. It appeared as if the future Spike TV host was destined for WBA dominance, until he ran into personal fitness trainer and boxing newbee Charles Hackmann. Although Hackmann came into the bout on just a day’s notice, he managed to make it the distance with Kimbo and nearly finished him in the second round. The win, to say the least, was not impressive.

Kimbo, looking like Rick Ross with slightly better cardio

You know, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen this happen before.

While you were busy watching UFC 141, Kimbo Slice looked to improve his professional boxing record to 3-0 at the Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma. So far in his boxing career, the Shaws have been feeding Kimbo cans with losing records, and Kimbo has been capitalizing in devastating fashion. Friday night, however, Kimbo Slice was given his toughest test in his young boxing career in Charles Hackmann, a fitness instructor making his professional boxing debut after taking the bout on just one day’s notice.

It’s almost like the guy was brought in to lose *snickers*, yet he held his own against the former UFC fighter (sigh), almost pulling off the upset in the second round. The action wasn’t as fast-paced as Cruz vs. Johnson, yet you wouldn’t know it by how badly both fighters gassed in the third and fourth rounds. When it was all said and done, Kimbo improved to 3-0, yet had major holes in his game exposed.

Video, courtesy of Iron forges Iron, after the jump.

(Friends forever? Photo courtesy of AllElbows.com)

It’s hard to even get up the energy to mock Jared Shaw anymore.  He’s just so damn irrelevant.  But in talking about the role Kimbo Slice’s loss to Seth Petruzelli played in EliteXC’s collapse, he summed up the company’s fundamental failures without even realizing it:

"I stick up for him a lot because we put so much weight on his shoulders because we had to, we needed a face. No, we didn’t expect him to be the world champion. We knew if he fought the kind of fighters that were at that level that his chances of winning were probably slimmer," said Shaw. "But you’ve got to throw somebody up there as the best in the world, because you’ve got to put a face on the company. And that’s not to say he can’t become one of the best fighters in the world, cause he’s an athlete, he has talent, but that was the situation we were up against."