Kimbo, looking like Rick Ross with slightly better cardio

You know, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen this happen before.

While you were busy watching UFC 141, Kimbo Slice looked to improve his professional boxing record to 3-0 at the Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma. So far in his boxing career, the Shaws have been feeding Kimbo cans with losing records, and Kimbo has been capitalizing in devastating fashion. Friday night, however, Kimbo Slice was given his toughest test in his young boxing career in Charles Hackmann, a fitness instructor making his professional boxing debut after taking the bout on just one day’s notice.

It’s almost like the guy was brought in to lose *snickers*, yet he held his own against the former UFC fighter (sigh), almost pulling off the upset in the second round. The action wasn’t as fast-paced as Cruz vs. Johnson, yet you wouldn’t know it by how badly both fighters gassed in the third and fourth rounds. When it was all said and done, Kimbo improved to 3-0, yet had major holes in his game exposed.

Video, courtesy of Iron forges Iron, after the jump.

(‘Gamebred’ uglies up KJ Noons at Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum. Photo via ESPN.)

By Jonathan Shrager

Jorge Masvidal‘s MMA career has taken him to Russia, Japan, Costa Rica, and the Playboy Mansion — not bad for a guy who got his start in bare-knuckle fights in his native Miami. Now riding back-to-back victories over Billy Evangelista and KJ Noons under the Strikeforce banner, Masvidal has been honored with a lightweight title shot against Gilbert Melendez at the promotion’s upcoming card on December 17th in San Diego. We got in touch with Masvidal recently to learn more about his streetfighting pedigree, his unconventional fighter’s lifestyle, and why “The Mansion” isn’t as exciting as you’d think. Enjoy…

CAGEPOTATO.COM: I wanted to start off by discussing your streetfighting past. Was it those underground brawls that made you consider the sport of MMA as a profession?

JORGE MASVIDAL: No. Before I did the streetfighting I knew I wanted to do MMA. I knew I wanted to get paid. I didn’t want to be a streetfighting king or nothing. I wanted to fight the best in the world and get paid for my talent. I knew since I was a kid at the age of 13 or 14 that I wanted to fight. I wanted to box, but I was also in love with wrestling. I wish I could have done both, but I realized I could only be competitive in one of them. Then MMA came along and I knew that was the one. At the time I was streetfighting, there wasn’t really an amateur MMA scene. I did that when I was about 18 or 19. They asked me to do it and I was like ‘why not?’

Having been involved in something so raw as backyard brawling, you must experience relatively little fear stepping into the regulated industry of MMA?

Oh yeah, big time. In MMA, I don’t got to worry about getting stabbed, or nobody shooting at me if I beat them up. That’s a big positive. In a streetfight, anything can happen at any random moment. If someone gets upset in the crowd, or you’ve caused somebody to lose money, they can pull a knife or a gun on you. You always get an adrenaline-rush when you step into an MMA cage, but it’s nothing like the concerns you have when streetfighting, when you’re worried about avoiding weapons.

Oh, great, vengeful God (or Zorp), please let this happen. If you can allow Razor Ramone to be assisted off his wheelchair, only to be repeatedly kicked and hit with steel chairs in front of an audience of less than 500 people, then surely you can allow this to happen. In a recent interview with MMAfighting.com, none other than Art Jimmerson, the man behind the most embarrassing loss in UFC History, challenged the former Youtube sensation, MoneyTalks star, UFC fighter, and 2-0 boxer Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson to a boxing match, stating:

(You can make fun of your opponent’s voice, and you can trash his fighting style. But mock a man’s sideburns, and you’re asking for the worst beating of your life.)

Start sharpening your razors, folks: We’re just eight days away from the official start of Movember! To help get you in the moustache-growing spirit, we’ve put together a photo gallery of our favorite facial hair arrangements in MMA history, which you can check out after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHubTV)

Marcus Villegas from FightHub TV caught up with Gary Shaw at last weekend’s Chad Dawson vs. Bernard Hopkins event and the former EliteXC president revealed that he attempted to sign Quinton “Rampage” Jackson to his promotion back in 2007 prior to the former PRIDE fighter signing with the UFC.

“I know Rampage,” Shaw revealed. “I tried to sign him when I was with EliteXC.”

Shaw said that he would be interested in working with the former UFC light heavyweight champ if he is serious about moving over to boxing once his UFC contract expires.

(Yes, that’s Kimbo Slice at the 0:30 and 0:48 marks, painted up like Kamala the Ugandan Giant. Good to see that Bob Sapp hasn’t taken all the “Barbarian Warrior” roles from hard-working fighter-actors. Props: FilmDrunk.)

This week’s featured stories…

- Carlos Condit: Disappointed but Understanding Regarding UFC 137 Changes (LowKick)
“As a professional fighter, it is my job to be prepared for any and all circumstances, positive and negative, that come my way during training and the actual fight. Georges is a great competitor and I know that he will want to return to 100 percent health as soon as possible so that this fight can be rescheduled.”

- Why “Superfights” Are a Bad Idea (BleacherReport/MMA)
“While the term superfight sounds great on paper and the matchups make the fans salivate, they just don’t make much sense other than for a short-term gain.”

- Interview With UFC 137′s Roy Nelson as He Prepares for Mirko Filipovic (MMA Mania)
“I feel standing, like I think I’ve stood up with some of the best heavyweights in the world. I stood up with Junior [dos Santos] so like, I think I might regress for this fight and go back to my roots, go back to my first five or six wins were all submissions. Maybe I’ll regress in the chain of being an MMA fighter.”

- Interview With Dan “Punkass” Caldwell From the Tapout Crew at NYCC 2011 on Comics, Toys, Kenny Florian, & Jones vs. Machida (The Fight Nerd)
“I think Kenny [Florian] is a really exciting fighter in his past matches, he just needs to fight the right people…me personally, I think the 155 lb. division looks a little more inviting again. I think he should go back to 155 and try his hand there. Some of those guys would match up better with his style.”

(The knockout comes so quickly, they’ve replayed it for you a dozen times at the end. Video: YouTube/TheHypoparody)

Former UFC fighter (sigh) Kimbo Slice threw his second punch as a professional boxer last night, and with it he secured his second victory. I’ll say this for the bearded one: he’s efficient. For those thinking that Slice has the “sweet science” figured out, I would contend that his management and promoters are the ones wearing the lab coats. Their formula? Take one-part YouTube legend, mix with one part Glass Joe, agitate for 20 seconds, and call it a night.

Kimbo’s first opponent, James Wade, was an impressive 0-1 when he fell to a single bread-bomb in just 17 seconds. Last night, Slice was paired against the more formidable Tay Bledsoe, who stepped into the ring two wins under his belt. Sure, he’d also been knocked out thrice, in the three bouts leading up to the Kimbo fight, with two of those losses coming in under two minutes, but who’s counting? Slice dropped Bledsoe cold with an overhand right just 1:52 into the bout.

The hand speed, the footwork, are we looking at Sugar Ray Slice?

(To add more intrigue, winner should get to shave the loser’s head and beard. They can call the show, “Someone’s fro has to go.”)

It looks like former backyard brawlers-turned-MMA-fighters and Team Kimbo teammates Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson and Dhafir “Dada 5000″ Harris are going to put dough before bros when they step in the cage opposite one another in Florida in January 2012.

According to a report by our friend The Fight Nerd, Dada 5000, who is 2-0 against a pair of opponents with a combined 1-8 record,  broke the news of the yet-to-be-signed fight that is penciled in for January 12 under the World Fighting Organization (creative, huh?) banner during a recent appearance on the Rodolfo Roman Show. He also said that the bout will be a five-round heavyweight title fight, which is curious considering the WFO already has a heavyweight champ, by the name of Marcio Cruz.

Harris says that one possible venue for the show is Universal Studios in Orlando, which makes sense since both he and Ferguson came up through the backyard fighting circuit in the Sunshine State. Another possible location that has been discussed he says is the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, but the promotion might have to run that by a couple Italian brothers who own a casino in the city first.

Check out some videos of Dada in action after the jump.

(Meredith DiVita, the 10th hottest MMA chick of 2010, is back with a new Knoxx Gear photo shoot. For more pics of Meredith, check out her public Facebook page and KNOXXlifestyle.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- BJ Penn: The UFC Forced Me to Say Things About Nick Diaz (MMA Mania)

- Jason “Mayhem” Miller Explains Alleged Assault on Sister (5thRound)

- The Truth About Fighters and Sponsors (MMA Fighting)

- Strikeforce Ratings Way Down for ‘Barnett vs. Kharitonov’ (MMA Payout)

- Roger Ebert Reviews New MMA Movie, “Warrior” (TheFightNerd)

- Rich Franklin Done for 2011 With Torn Shoulder Labrum (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Photo Report: Alexander Shlemenko Training With Michael Bisping for Bellator 50 (LowKick)

- Rampage Jackson Wants His UFC/PRIDE Unified Light Heavyweight Belt Back (MMA Convert)

- Power Ranking Every Upcoming UFC Event (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Well at Least Kimbo Slice Has No Problem Attracting the Opposite Sex (MiddleEasy)

- Kurt Angle Explains Why Imitating Fedor Is Impossible (FightOpinion)

- Strikeforce Heavyweight Semifinals Recap With ‘Big’ John McCarthy and Lloyd Irvin (NBC Sports MMA)

(The “MMA Hairstyles” shirt in athetic gray. Click here for a full-size version of the t-shirt design on its own.)

In collaboration with artist/illustrator Derek Eads, we’re proud to announce the latest semi-official t-shirt design from CagePotato.com. The “MMA Hairstyles” shirt features the iconic silhouettes of 20 MMA stars — or more accurately, 17 actual stars plus three fighters who have made infamous follicular statements. How quickly can you identify them all?

You can purchase this masterpiece for the fair price of $22 at Society6.com in your choice of eight different colors, five different sizes, and two different genders. (Prove your loyalty to the Potato Nation and buy all 80 variations!)

For more of Derek Eads’s pop-cultural work, visit his official site, and check out some of his other art prints including Cage’s Hair Filmography, Murrays, and Samuel L. Jackson “Hollywood’s Target Practice.”

(Video courtesy of BallerStatus)

You would think that given the embarrassing loss he was handed by Randy Couture and the fact that he’s now set to fight Ken Shamrock in his return MMA bout, that James Toney would keep the names of UFC champions outta his mush mouth.

Apparently “Lights Out” done lost his mind on top of his language skills and is now calling out Rampage. James, Dana isn’t going to pay you a million again to throw a handful of jabs and flop around like a fish on your back until you tap out. The experiment is over just like the Kimbo experiment and just like the *sniff* PRIDE experiment. Deal with it.

(Props: S0S0BOXING via BloodyElbow)

Kimbo Slice‘s pro-boxing debut last night in Oklahoma ended in highlight-reel fashion, as the former bare-knuckle YouTube brawler/MMA fighter turned out James Wade‘s lights with a crushing right uppercut, sending him through the bottom rope just 10 seconds into the match. Check out the video above for two different angles of the finish; as you can see, it took a long time for Wade to regain his senses.

Ariel Helwani passes along the word that Kimbo’s next match is scheduled for October 15th, possibly on the undercard of Bernard Hopkins vs. Chad Dawson. Can Kevin Ferguson really be an injection into boxing’s heavyweight division?

(Video courtesy of YouTube/CageJunkies)

When fighters walk away from the sport, rarely do we see them gravitate towards the other side of the interview microphone, but the decision to do just that was a good one for “Chainsaw” Charles McCarthy. After stepping away from the sport in 2008, the former TUF 4 contestant announced that, in spite of his retirement he would be turning his focus to his American Top Team affiliated gym in Boyton Beach, Florida and would still be involved in MMA.

We haven’t heard from the 10-5 UFC veteran, who was at the wrong of a highlight-reel spinning back kick KO by David Loiseau much since then, but he recently joined up with a relatively new MMA website called “CageJunkies” (original, huh?) and has proven that he’s an adept reporter.

(James Toney, shown above with one boxing glove, one MMA glove, and an artist’s depiction of what he might look like if he lost 85 pounds.)

By Jared “DangadaDang” Jones

During its rise to popularity, Mixed Martial Arts has become known for the incredible physical conditioning, talent, and (depending whose side you’re on) heart of its athletes. It is a sport built on dedication; simply put, no amount of pink gloves and flirting with overweight TUF alums will make you an MMA fighter.

But as with any sport’s increase in mass appeal, MMA has seen its share of hacks, wannabes, scallywags and jabronis attempting to grab 15 more minutes of fame through a career in “that Ultimate Fighting stuff.” In light of James Toney’s continuing efforts to shake the MMA world with the use of side check kicks, I give you the five worst instances of C-to-D-list celebrities giving MMA the old community-college try.

5. Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson

The phrase “meteoric rise” comes to mind — one minute you were watching Kimbo smoke blunts in the background of semi-public orgies and the next he was being touted as the most formidable opponent to take Brock Lesnar’s crown. Mr. Ferguson landed on our radars through a series of brutal street fight videos in which he fought guys named “Afro Puff,” “Byrd,” “Chico,” and “Mayor McCheese.” These internet videos went viral so ferociously that the now-defunct EliteXC built him up to be their marquee star by feeding him other hopeless big lugs like “Bo” and “Tank.”

Kimbo was given his first “legitimate” opponent in James Thompson as the headlining bout of EliteXC: Primetime in May 2008. Despite possibly tapping to a guillotine in the first round and being on the receiving end of over 1,000 elbows in the second, Kimbo was able to pull off a rare standing-TKO of Thompson late in the third. (Good lookin’ out, Dan.)

(Video courtesy of YouTube/ConorHeun)

Remember the grisly photo we posted of Conor Heun’s broken arm he suffered in his win over Magno Almeida? Well, it turns out Conor’s elbow was merely dislocated by one of the numerous armbars Almeida caught him in and is now back to normal, but according to “Hurricane,” he wouldn’t have tapped even if his arm snapped.

Yeah, if you’re looking for warm fuzzies, you can stop reading now. These two aren’t on the list. (Pic: MMAConvert.com)

Being a father must be one of the most thankless jobs on Earth. I say this not as a dad, but as a son who can only imagine what I put my father through. Sure, there are probably some happy times, like watching your son get his first hit on the baseball court, but largely it’s a never ending torrent of putting up with your son’s immature bullshit, and for that you get thought of one day a year at which time you’re rewarded with an ugly ass tie and a “Free Oil Change” coupon for the truck your son smashed up.

On this special occasion, take a few minutes to grab your old man, have a seat, and enjoy some good old fashioned shadenfreude with some of our sport’s less celebrated father-son moments. You may laugh, you may cry, but hopefully you’ll both realize that things could be a lot worse. Who knows, after a beer or two you may even decide to celebrate your strengthened bond by taking a class together.

To all the dads out there, keep fighting the good fight.

(The “Ace”: Coming soon from Trash Talkin’ Kids.)

Thanks so much to everybody who sent in submissions for last week’s Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirt design contest. We were overwhelmed by the number — and sheer stupidity! — of your designs, and we honestly had a blast going through them. With the help of our friends at Trash Talkin’ Kids, we picked out eight finalists based on humor, creativity, and effort. To see all of the submissions, head over to facebook.com/trashtalkinkids, where they’ve uploaded the finalists plus a bunch more entries that didn’t quite make the cut.

And now we need your votes to make this thing official. Please check out the Elite 8 after the jump, and vote for your favorite in the poll at the bottom of the page. The two highest-voted designs will both be receiving actual TTK shirts. Winners will be announced Thursday. Aaaaaand go!

(Yes, at this point they are in fact just fucking with us.)

Man, it’s like the Shaw family doesn’t even check with each other anymore before they go to the media and just start saying stuff. Remember it was less than two weeks ago that Gary Shaw told us that his longtime crush object Kimbo Slice would probably not be entering the world of boxing after finding out “how hard it is to be a boxer.” Well, on Tuesday, not 15 days later, Jared Shaw – Shaw Trek the Next Generation, if you will – made an appearance on MMA Weekly radio and immediately started issuing “open challenges” on behalf of one Kevin Ferguson, professional boxer.

Specifically, Shaw invited NFL player Ray Edwards to meet Slice in a boxing match. Edwards, a defensive lineman for the Minnesota Vikings, will make his own professional boxing debut this Friday at a casino in the Gopher State, against an as-yet unnamed opponent. So that sounds just super. Shaw’s comments and some of Edwards’ own ridiculousness are after the jump …

(Chuck Liddell poses with ‘Taboo’, co-host of Our Time.)

We have no idea how most of these encounters came about — but we’re sure they were all fairly awkward. Here are 21 of our favorite photos of MMA fighters rubbing shoulders with reality show stars, B-list actors, and aging rock royalty. Ah, the perks of fame…

(Cain Velasquez: The meat in a douche sandwich.)

(Sometimes purple lipstick happens in MMA commentating.)

According to a Sports Illustrated report, MMA’s most maligned play-by-play commentator Gus Johnson is leaving CBS to work for Fox.

Not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that the UFC bought Strikeforce and UFC president Dana White has made no secret of the fact that he doesn’t care for Johnson’s fight calling abilities and as such it seemed unlikely that GuJo would be included in their vision of business as usual .

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHubTV.com)

Fight Hub TV’s Marcos Villegas caught up with Gary Shaw over the weekend and spoke to the former head of EliteXC about Nick Diaz’s boxing aspirations and why Kimbo Slice’s boxing debut never happened.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/ESPNMediaZone)

If you’ve followed the backyard fighting scene the past few years, chances are you knew the names of two fighters: Kimbo Slice and DaDa 5000. Thanks to EliteXC, The Ultimate Fighter and the UFC we all know who Kimbo is, but not a lot has been revealed about the personal life of his Team Kimbo teammate, DaDa 5000, AKA Dhafir Harris.

Tuesday night ESPN will feature Harris and the bareknuckle fighting “promotion” he runs out of his mom’s backyard on an episode of its E:60 sports series.

Here’s what the press release had to say about the show:

“ESPN’s award-winning primetime newsmagazine E:60 profiles the unusual rise to fame of fighter Dada 5000 in the episode airing Tuesday, April 26, at 7 p.m. ET.

In a backyard in the Miami suburb of Perrine, Fla., stands a battered 12×12 boxing ring draped with yellow caution tape. Inside this ring, two men square off without gloves, no time limits and virtually no rules. Welcome to the world of Dada 5000, a man who has made his mother’s backyard a YouTube sensation with its bareknuckle bravado. E:60 presents an unvarnished view of the emperor and his backyard coliseum.”

You might be surprised to learn that the unorthodox brawler in the video after the jump actually has a 2-0 professional MMA record.

(Three seasons later, the ‘Innerme‘ still looms large…)

With a big-name crossover star like Brock Lesnar as one of the coaches for this season of The Ultimate Fighter, we wondered if TUF 13‘s viewership ratings would land anywhere near TUF 10‘s — the heavyweight season featuring Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans as coaches and Kimbo Slice as one of the heavyweight hopefuls. According to the numbers released by Spike, TUF 13‘s premiere ratings couldn’t hold a candle to Kimbo.

Wednesday’s show attracted an average of 1.5 million viewers and a 1.0 household rating, and earned the highest viewership numbers for men 18-34 and 18-49 in its new 9 p.m. time slot, with ratings of 1.93 and 1.51, respectively. Still, that’s a far cry from the 4.1 million average viewers that TUF 10 earned in its premiere. It’s also a slight decline from last season’s Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck premiere, which attracted 1.6 million viewers — which was itself a decline from the 1.9 million viewers brought in by the TUF 11: Liddell vs. Ortiz premiere. In fact, the TUF 13 premiere was the least successful debut episode in series history, in terms of household rating.

Responding to the news, UFC president Dana White was in full-on hater-hurtin’ mode, posting the following on the UG: “SINCE WHEN IS 1.5 MILLIONS VIEWERS BAD? People have been saying it is dead since season 4. Sit back and watch bitches or don’t. TUF isnt going anywhere!!!! deal with it.“ Fair enough. But the downward trend can’t be ignored. So what went wrong?

For a man who tries to promote such a chaste image, Matt Hughes sure does find himself at Hooters a hell of a lot. Maybe it’s the famous wings that bring him in night after night. Or maybe it’s all the young chicks with big titties. Hard to say for sure. For more photographic proof, start after the jump and follow the “next page” links.

(Awwwwww! Props: Chad S., Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- UFC 128: Is Jon Jones a Dream Come True for Dana White and the UFC? (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- ‘UFC Primetime’ Returns for St. Pierre vs. Shields (MMA-Scraps)

- Frank Shamrock: I Did Not Offer to Take a Dive Against Kimbo Slice (MMA Fighting)

- Crazy Talk? Dan Henderson Could Give Jon Jones a Fight (MMA Convert)

- Exclusive Interview: Brian Ebersole Talks About Eating Marijuana Cookies and Being ‘The White Anderson Silva’ (MiddleEasy)

- Kendall Grove Facing Tim Boetsch at UFC 130 (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Anderson Silva Says Jon Jones’ Performance Was “Amazing”; Not Ruling out a Return to 205 (LowKick)

- Dana White “Worried” for UFC Champ Jon Jones (5thRound)

- Five Lessons: UFC 128 (Versus MMA Beat)

- Guida (#6) vs. Pettis (#9) Headlines Ultimate Fighter 13 Finale (Fight Magazine)

($kala got yo’ eyeballs all up on EliteXC. Mission accomplished.)

With the recent news that ProElite has risen from its the ashes to make an offer on Strikeforce before Zuffa quashed them like the insignificant mosquito that they’ve always been known as, inquiring minds have begun asking who will be at the helm of the company’s latest incarnation.

One name you won’t see on any of  ProElite’s offices is Jared Shaw.

The former EliteXC matchmaker who used to prefer to be known as his hip hop name $kala says he is done in the MMA business.

In a recent interview he did with Sherdog’s Jeff Sherwood, Shaw says he is concentrating on boxing and rapping and shed some light on the reasons he says ProElite and EliteXC collapsed.

Check out  what Shaw had to say after the jump.

(The problem with American MMA fans is that they don’t understand the tag-team ground game enough to appreciate it.)

BY MATTHEW “THE FIGHT NERD” KAPLOWITZ

We all have that one friend who still just doesn’t get MMA. You tell him how safe it is, he says he doesn’t believe it since you can punch a dude on the ground. You tell him there are rules in place to keep everyone healthy, he says he doesn’t believe it since you can punch a dude on the ground. See a trend developing? No matter what you say, this person just never understands. Part of it might be because of the numerous videos that highlight brutality or generally idiocy in the sport, and of course those are the videos that get traffic — not the ones that showcase good sportsmanship and quality fighting. I blame “America’s Funniest Home Videos” for this obsession with schadenfreude.

These are fights that your friend who hates MMA references to remind you of how horrible he thinks the sport is, and he could have a point with some of these when taken out of context. These fights make you ashamed to be an MMA fan; some for how strangely they turned out due to circumstances, and others for how damaging they were for the whole of the sport. Just a warning to you: This list might start off jovial, but it will take a sharp turn for the serious as we get closer to the bottom. So let’s dive into this cesspool that is teeming with the lowest common denominator and take a look at 10 MMA fights you wish you never saw, and more importantly, that you may wish never existed in the first place.

10. Kimbo Slice vs. Houston Alexander

The man billed as “The Youtube Sensation,” backyard-brawler-turned-MMA-fighter Kimbo Slice made a splash in EliteXC, until he was jabbed to death by Seth Petruzelli in the appropriate finale for that company. No one knew what would happen to Kimbo, and questioned if he would enter boxing, K-1, or return to MMA. We were soon given an answer when the Florida-native popped up on the tenth season of “The Ultimate Fighter.” Now, we would really see if he was UFC material by working his way up against other fighters vying for the top spot.

And hey, turns out Kimbo was not UFC material as he was defeated in the first round of the tournament by Roy Nelson. Still, people swooned over Kimbo saying he was given the hardest fighter in the house. Inevitably, Kimbo was granted a second chance at the TUF 10 finale, getting a fight with equally disappointing Houston Alexander, who had built up a reputation for having great hands and little else. It made perfect sense to book these two together, in hopes that one would knock the other into a time when ProElite meant something other than floundering stock prices.

Instead of fireworks, the match fizzled out and dragged out to a dull decision, with Alexander doing little more than throwing some leg kicks and Kimbo being the one to push the fight. Alexander, who was brought in for this one fight after three losses in a row, was cut and Kimbo was cut one fight later after a beatdown courtesy of Matt Mitrione. The moral of the story here — sure, street fighting is fun to watch, but does that equate to being an MMA fighter? It could if they actually trained. Slice was an example of the hype machine gone overboard, and there is a reason why we have not seen a street fighter pushed like that since.

9. Tag Team MMA

(UFC 3′s Emmanuel Yarborough and Miley Cyrus: They may seem like a strange pairing at first, but then you spend some time with them together and you’re like “okay, I totally get it now.”)

By Matthew “The Fight Nerd” Kaplowitz

Japan has brought us so many great imports, be it giant robots, cartoons about ninja children dressed in bright colors (which sort of defeats the purpose of being a stealthy ninja), tentacle rape, and Pocky. Truly, their greatest offering to America has been the freak show fight. As we discussed last time, Japan was the country that legitimized the art of pitting two mismatched opponents in a ring and convincing us that this was the greatest thing since Steven Seagal invented the front kick.

If there’s one thing we Americans don’t like, it’s being shown up by a foreign land. So it was just a matter of time before an American promoter stood up and said, “You know what? I want to see a man that weighs a quarter of a ton fight a dwarf!” And that was how our first freak show fight was born. Well, not really, since we have better athletic commissions in America, but after reading this list of the “Top Ten American Freak Show Fights That Were Actually Good,” you might think otherwise. Let’s get it on!

10. Tim Sylvia vs. Wes Sims
Superbrawl 38, 12/12/04


In a rare battle between two giants, 6’ 8” Tim Sylvia stood almost eye to eye with Wes Sims, who had a two-inch height advantage over “The Maine-iac”.  Sylvia had fought another tall man, Gan McGee, the previous year at UFC 44, but this fight is far more entertaining. You would probably expect an evenly contested bout between these two, due to the height and their similarly aggressive tactics (both guys even used the same song for their entrance, go figure). For some reason that will never be known, Sims decided that he was the smaller man in this fight and would fight accordingly.

("Five…five dolla…five dolla, foot rong." [Ed. note: I sincerely apologize for that awful caption.] / Photo courtesy of sportsnavi.)

His MMA career? Dead in the water. His boxing comeback? Who knows. But the Miami Pound Machine gotta eat. And so, Kimbo Slice has reportedly agreed to perform at an IGF pro wrestling tournament on February 5th in Fukuoka, Japan. His opponent will be Shinichi "Wakakirin" Suzukawa, the marijuana-scandalized sumo wrestler who allegedly went off the script against Mark Coleman last year. (Wakakirin was also supposed to wrestle Bob Sapp at Dynamite!! 2010, but Frankenhood pulled out at the last moment like the professional he is.) And before you ask, yes, Josh Barnett will be part of the tourney as well. 

Note to Kimbo: If you "win" your first match, Antonio Inoki may want to slap the shit out of you in front of everybody. I know, if that happened on a street-corner in Perrine, he would be as dead as yesterday’s chicken. (That’s something that people say, right?) As it turns out, the slapping is actually a sign of respect and well-wishing. Please inform your crew.

(We’re just glad that our t-shirt isn’t to blame for Kimbo’s death. We will take credit for this one cursing Gus Johnson’s Strikeforce commentating gig.)

If a mediocre backyard brawler-turned mixed martial artist dies, does anyone in the MMA media notice?

Apparently not.

It seemed that only the mainstream media outlets yesterday picked up on a story of the demise of Miami, Florida resident Kevin Ferguson — which is the legal name of Kimbo Slice. Maybe it was because it wasn’t Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson who had passed away, unless of course he had wifi access in the morgue.