Kimbo vs. Tank referee-cam video, courtesy of Sho.com

Yves Edwards knocks out Edson Berto via one-legged hopping-knee with four seconds left in round one:

James Thompson adds to another fighter’s highlight reel with his predictable knockout loss to Brett Rogers:

Bonus: Kimbo Slice and Bas Rutten give their thoughts on the Tank fight and what might be next:

(Shocking.)

Four wild knockouts to one dull decision — not a bad ratio for Saturday’s EliteXC card. About 80 of you threw in predictions for how the “Street Certified” main event would turn out, and we’re pleased to announce a winner. On 2/15, at 2:37 pm, commenter “charles” said:

kimbo TKO in 42 sec

Sure, it was actually a KO, but the fight was called at 43 seconds, and that’s pretty damn close. So Charles, if you’re reading this, e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com with your address and we’ll send you a copy of Iceman: My Fighting Life, signed by Chuck Liddell himself. We’d also like to give special recognition to commenter “skeet,” who said “kimbo :37 tko kimbo will have him on the ground face down.” Psychic much?!?

Next order of business: Can we all agree that it’s time for Kimbo to face someone as good as he is? Not an old boxer, not a food-poisoned pussy, not a one-dimensional brawler 12 years past his prime, but a legitimate heavyweight with some talent? If there’s one thing that EliteXC proved on Saturday, it’s that its heavyweight division is at least as deep as the UFC’s — I know, not saying much — especially when you factor in Pro Elite sub-promotions like Cage Rage. I’m willing to accept that Antonio Silva had an off night (due to a possible pre-fight injury) and that he’s still a couple steps ahead of Kimbo as far as ability, but I would love to see how Kimbo would do against Ricco “Bacon Double-Cheeseburger” Rodriguez. Undefeated Brett Rogers, who knocked out James Thompson on Saturday, seems like he’d be the perfect guy for Kimbo to face if he wants to demand a little more respect. And at the end of the “Street Certified” broadcast, Mauro Ranallo and Stephen Quadros suggested that Kimbo could take on the winner of the Ken Shamrock/Robert “Buzz” Berry match at Cage Rage next month. Berry would be a great option — especially since he’s already called out Kimbo — but putting Kimbo against Shamrock’s legendary submission expertise (and willingness to take a beating) in just his fourth MMA bout might be asking too much.

Here’s what I’m afraid EliteXC might actually do: 1) Put Kimbo up against James Thompson so their franchise star can rack up at least one more guaranteed knockout before they start challenging him, or 2) Track down Sean Gannon so they can settle their grudge. As much as Kimbo might want to avenge his only loss as an “amateur,” the match-up just wouldn’t be competitive anymore, and wouldn’t do anything to prove that Kimbo should be taken seriously now.

One more thing: We went a perfect five-for-five in predicting the winners of “Street Certified”‘s main card, and called three of them perfectly (winner/round/method). Damn it feels good to be right once in a while…

(“Make this quick, fellas, I got a softball game in like two hours.”)

What it do, nephews? Kimbo, Tank, Ricco, Bigfoot, and the rest of the gang are about to do battle at Miami’s Bank United Center. Watch the action on Showtime starting at 10 p.m. if you can, and/or follow our round-by-round results and commentary after the jump. Click the “more” link and refresh the page every few minutes, and let’s have some good clean fights out there. WAR FERGUSON!

(It’ll be like this, but worse.)

— We premiered the first episode of What Would Kimbo Do? Let that be a lesson to you, inconsiderate roommates! Episode 2 drops next week…

— Mirko Cro Cop left the UFC. Tim Sylvia threatened to do the same on his website, then thought better of it.

— “House of Peace and Prosperity,” Dana White, 2/2, green, and Jäger. Oh, and “banged some chick while doing a radio interview.”

— Akiro Gono wants to find a girl who’s attractive, respectful, and good with happy endings. (By the way, there’s an awesome update to that story here.)

— Two championship belts changed hands at WEC 32, while Jamie Varner demonstrated that a fighter can take a time-out if he really needs it.

— Matt Horwich is way awesome.

— We looked at three MMA reality shows with even worse concepts than Redbelt.

— We mocked the homely.

Remember: Tomorrow, 10 p.m., EliteXC: Street Certified, liveblog, be here.

(Look out Kimbo, he’s got an air-shotgun!)

Brass tacks — EliteXC: “Street Certified” goes down tomorrow night at Miami’s Bank United Center; Showtime will broadcast the main card starting at 10 p.m., and we’ll be doing a liveblog, so swing by for live round-by-round results. And now, our predictions:

Tank vs. Kimbo (heavyweights): We all know how this is going to end. A month ago, we offered a “fantastic” prize to the CagePotato reader who could call the result the closest. Well, the prediction lines will be open until the end of the day, so throw a guess on the comments section of that page for your chance to win (what else) a signed copy of Iceman: My Fighting Life by Chuck Liddell. We’re sticking with our prediction of Kimbo winning by TKO (punches) in 59 seconds. MMABettingBlog says that since the betting odds on this match are so heavily stacked in Kimbo’s favor — he’s a -450 favorite, meaning you’d have to bet $450 on him to get $100 back if he wins — Tank is actually the smart money bet. Especially if you think losing money is smart.

Antonio Silva vs. Ricco Rodriguez (heavyweights): Speaking of sports betting, this fight reminds me of my personal rule — never bet against the streak. And as we discussed yesterday, Bigfoot Silva’s got a crazy one going: 10 fights, all of them lasting less than four minutes. Outside of the Ben Rothwell spit-debacle decision loss, Ricco “Suave” has been looking great lately, with six stoppage wins in his last seven fights. We just don’t think he’ll be able to deal with Silva’s size and power — Bigfoot by first-round GnP TKO. By the way, Rodriguez said this at yesterday’s press conference: “Win or lose, six months from now Antonio and I will be fighting again, probably for a title. We are the two best fighters in this organization right now. Tank and Kimbo are just tomato cans. We are the two real fighters.” We have a feeling Ricco might live to regret that quote…

(Ferguson and Abbott sort of stare each other down; photo props: Tom Casino/EliteXC via FiveOunces)

Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott participated in one last press conference for “Street Certified” yesterday at Bernie Kosar’s Steakhouse in Miami. It seems like the two have blown their respective-wads, hype-wise, but they did provide these quotes:

TANK ABBOTT:
— “Training has just evolved for this fight more than for any of my other opponents. I have taken it very seriously.”

— “Kimbo is going to get hurt, that’s for sure. The way I am and the shape I’m in right now I can’t fathom a human being who can take five minutes of my shots. I am on fire right now.”

— “I think it is funny that he’s got Bas Rutten to train him. This is a real fight, not a slap-fest. He should have gotten a real fighter to train him. Training with Bas is better than nothing. But you either have it or you don’t. Technique doesn’t make you tough.”

— “I think Kimbo’s motivation is to be on TV or on the Internet. I think that is why he fights. Me? I have been in over 200 street fights to various degrees, ranging from knocking a guy out at a stop light to sending someone to the ICU for a week. I fight because I love it…I like it because I can’t go to jail for it.”

— “If you make a strategy to fight someone you are developing little crutches for yourself. I don’t have a plan.”

— “Everybody gives me shit about my shape. I can do 15 minutes on my head holding my breath.”

KIMBO SLICE:
— “Tank is full of shit if he thinks I can’t take his punches. I’m bringing the whole thing to the cage. I am bringing the hood with me to this cage.”

— “This fight means a lot to not only me but the entire city. This is big time. That is why I am going to break his rib, break his nose, break his arm.”

— “There are a lot of things in my arsenal I am going to try to use. If he’s a tad bit slow, I’m going to hurt him. I’ve trained with the best. It is going to be a long fight for him, or a short night.”

— “The right hand is for his top lip, the left hand is for his bottom lip.”

— “Bas (Rutten) is a mentor of mine. Anything Tank has to say about Bas, I am going to take it personal. I am going to make him pay for his words.”

— “Tank has a very big mouth. He needs to be careful about what he says. We take a lot of things personal. I just hope I don’t run into him before the fight starts. I want to settle this in the cage.”

It’s finally here! Kimbo Slice dishes out some poetic justice, garbage-can-style, in the series premiere of What Would Kimbo Do? Enjoy, and let us know what you think…

What, you didn’t think we tracked the dude down just so he could say hi to us? Tomorrow marks the premiere of What Would Kimbo Do?, an original series starring Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson that we put together with Break.com and ProElite.com. As the press release tells it:

The premise of each 30- to 60-second Webisode focuses on a down-on-his-luck guy facing a series of everyday dilemmas, but rather than just grin and bear it, Kimbo steps in and handles it in his own special way.

Obviously, we’re beyond ecstatic that a hair-brained idea hatched months ago is actually becoming a reality. Stop by tomorrow as we make history, and spread the word to all your Kimbo-lovin’ pals.

Also: We’re hoping that WWKD? is just the first step in taking CagePotato to “the next level” (whatever that may be). Right now, all the writing on this site is done by two dudes, and we could always use more help with reporting and features. If you’re interested in contributing to CagePotato on a freelance basis (yes, there’s money involved), e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com. Professional writing experience is a plus; original ideas are required.

(I know this picture has nothing to do with MMA. Still, it amuses me.)

— Our latest caption contest produced over a hundred new variations of “Kevin Federline sucks.” Well done.

— Bob Meyrowitz dodged our questions, much like the fighters of YAMMA will have to dodge the laser-firing sharks in his Mystery Pit.

— A female member of the Gracie clan was discovered. Bonus: She’s hot!

— We scored our first celebrity endorsement, who provided us with the greatest slogan in history.

— The UFC has more cases than Howie Mandel.

— Frank Shamrock stopped by, and revealed that he’ll be retiring in 2018. We’ll start planning the party.

— Tickets to UFC 83 were going, going, gone. Hey, we didn’t want to be there anyway. :’ (

— Some fighters are even dumber than they look.

— The Potato Nation proved their allegiance, rising up when a misguided, microphallic BloodyElbow fan named “MrTypo” wandered in and threatened to unbookmark us from his web browser. Somehow, MrTypo found his way back to this site even without the bookmark. For that sir, you deserve our undying admiration. Now get the fuck out of here and never come back.

As for the rest of you: Have a bomb-ass weekend, and make sure to swing by on Sunday for our exclusive interview with MMA Super-Agent Ken Pavia, and next week for more guaranteed insanity.

Here’s Mr. Ferguson’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last night. It was just aight for me, dog — although the Mr. T/Jeffrey mash-up was pretty brills. The most interesting revelation is that Kimbo has a George Foreman-esque egocentric quirk w/r/t naming his children. Of his six kids, two sons are named Kevin, and he has a daughter named Kevina. And of course his two-year-old is muthafuckin’ bulletproof.

— We didn’t think Jimmy Kimmel could score a more awesomely random pairing than Tank Abbott/Heidi Montag, but he’ll make it happen tonight as he welcomes none other than Kimbo Slice and Dr. Phil McGraw to his couch (ABC, 12:05/11:05c.). And of course, Tito Ortiz and Ricco Rodriguez are still hangin’ in on Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Rehab, so tune in tonight and show your support.

— Also, Fightlinker has launched a petition to convince SpikeTV to make UFC Fight Night 13 into a 3-hour broadcast, and they’re reaching out to folks like us to spread awareness. It’s a good cause, so if you care about seeing as much of the super-stacked card as possible, e-mail feedback@spike.com with the following (or a variation that more closely reflects your personal truth):

SUBJECT: UFC Fight Night on April 2nd

Hi
I’m writing to ask that the UFC Fight Night on April 2nd be given three hours of time instead of two. The card is one of the best UFC cards ever put on Spike, and it deserves a longer timeslot. The entire fight community is looking forward to seeing this event, and I am sure you’ll have a significantly higher number of viewers if you decide to show more of the card.

Thank you for your time
[your name]

We’d take Kevin Ferguson‘s endorsement over Ted Kennedy‘s any day. Stay tuned, because this isn’t the last you’ll see of Kimbo on the Potato. Oh, no — this is just the beginning.

EliteXC has released a new promo clip for its Street Certified event on February 16th. In it, Kimbo Slice discusses his respect for Tank Abbott. Unfortunately, since Tank is potentially standing in the way of a Slice family trip to Orlando, respect will only go so far…

For those of you who fall into one of the following categories:

a) I Love Tank Abbott.
b) I Love “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
c) I stay up late to catch whatever is on against Letterman or Leno.
d) I am Kimbo Slice.

…the following is for you.

(FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE)

This just in: The always colorful, entertaining and unpredictable David “Tank” Abbott will be a special guest on the nationally televised Jimmy Kimmel Live show tonight/Thursday at 12:05 a.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Tank (tankabbott.proelite.com), one of the original Mixed Martial Arts bad boys and most ferocious knockout artists in history, will discuss, among other things, his eagerly anticipated, long-awaited grudge fight with Kimbo Slice (kimboslice.proelite.com) set for Saturday, Feb. 16, at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami on SHOWTIME.

Other guests Thursday will include reality show star Heidi Montague of the “The Hills.”

(Not funny.)

— Bas Rutten starred in the best YTMND page of all-time. (last link)

— MMA Girl Joanne enchanted us with an exclusive video interview.

— We got overly emotional about Gina Carano.

— EliteXC signed two members of the Shamrock family. Unfortunately, neither one was Frank. We marveled at Ryan’s physique and gave Ken some encouragement.

— The UFC filed a lawsuit against Randy Couture. Your move, Natural.

— We solicited your predictions for the Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott fight, then liveblogged their press conference.

— We counted down the best fights that didn’t take place in a ring or cage.

— We put $1,000 up for grabs in the Serious Pimp t-shirt design contest.

— Instead of predicting UFC 80‘s winners, we predicted the bonuses. (Reminder: Come back tomorrow at 3 p.m. ET for the UFC 80 liveblog. Good times guaranteed.)

— We coped with a slow news day.

Have a great weekend, people. Stay hungry.

As promised earlier…

Click the “MORE” link and refresh the page every couple minutes to see the latest announcements and trash-talk from the EliteXC “Street Certified” conference call. Because knowing, as some say, is 50% of the battle.

(Tank Abbott, after eating 200 deviled eggs.)

Heads up, Potato Nation: EliteXC is holding a media conference call today at 4 p.m. ET, where Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson, David “Tank” Abbott, and EliteXC live events president Gary Shaw will be taking questions about the upcoming “Street Certified” event in Miami on February 16. I’ll be liveblogging it, so be sure to tune in later for the play-by-play.

Each media outlet generally gets to ask 1-3 questions at these things, so if you have any queries for the guys that are relatively insightful and won’t get me banned from future conference calls, post ‘em in the comments. And if you haven’t thrown in a prediction for the Kimbo/Tank fight yet, do it!

ProElite has put together a new promo video to hype the Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott fight on February 16. Two things stand out: First, Tank only gets about 1.5 seconds of screen time; maybe this was done so that uninformed Kimbo fans don’t see recent footage of Tank in action and immediately lose their excitement for this ugly mismatch. Second, ProElite is getting a lot of mileage from Kimbo’s three-punch victory over Bo Cantrell. This is like the video-editing equivalent to Native Americans using every part of the buffalo.

So let’s try to call it. I’m saying that the fight will end at 0:59 of the first round — generous, I know — with Kimbo winning it by TKO (punches). Put down your predictions in the comments section below. The reader who calls it closest gets a fantastic prize to be named later. I’m also willing to entertain side-bets from readers who think Tank is going to pull out a surprise victory. Watch the video, then have at it…

UPDATE: Alright, this is Tank’s promo clip. There’s something a little sad about that shot of him running up the hill and stopping to shadow-box. Getting strong now!

EliteXC sent out a press release yesterday announcing that tickets to their February 16th event featuring Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott will go on sale this Friday at Ticketmaster, and confirming that the event will take place at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami. Check the first sentence:

“Fans seeking to participate in perhaps the biggest, most significant fight card in the history of mixed martial arts in Florida will have the opportunity to reserve their spots beginning this Friday, Jan. 11, when tickets to EliteXC’s tremendous mega-event on Saturday, Feb. 16, will go on sale.”

At first, I skipped over that “in Florida” part and nearly shot Scotch out of my nose. Upon re-reading, I was still unconvinced. Surely this sideshow won’t be bigger than the UFC’s record-breaking Ortiz/Shamrock III event, or UFC 42, which featured Matt Hughes’s five-round war with Sean Sherk. Personally, I don’t think it’ll even be as significant as those smoker matches Din Thomas was arrested for last year — I mean, Din kinda became our Rosa Parks after that one. I love fight-hype as much as the next guy, but to paraphrase John Lennon, if you start referring to Slice/Abbott as a “tremendous mega-event,” you ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

I’ve ranted before about how unfortunate of a move this fight is for Kevin Ferguson and EliteXC, so I’ll spare you this time. Instead, I’ll post this bizarre video of Tank Abbott drunkenly mouthing off to a guy wearing a Kimbo Slice mask (at a bar? in his basement?), which looks to be directed by David Lynch and shot with the same camera used to record Rick Salomon banging Paris Hilton.

Fresh off the announcement that Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will be facing Tank Abbott at an EliteXC event on February 16, Triumph United has released a video of Kimbo in the gym, talking about his upcoming fight with Tank, his disappointingly short beatdown of Bo Cantrell, and the fact that entire rooms get dark when he pulls his pants down. We particularly appreciate his use of the phrase “real talk.” CagePotato and R. Kelly salute you…

(Julie Kedzie: There’s nothing better than losing that last 10…)

According to press release sent out today by EliteXC, that Miami event featuring Kimbo Slice vs. Tank Abbott won’t be the first show that Elite puts on in 2008. “ShoXC: EliteXC Challenger Series” is scheduled to go down on January 25th in Atlantic City and will feature the following matches:

TELEVISED CARD
Paul “Semtex” Daley vs. TBA (160 lbs.)
Yves Edwards vs. Kyle Bradley (160 lbs.)
Bobby McMaster vs. Bao Quach (150 lbs.)
Kala Kolohe Hose vs. Bellaton Frederic (185 lbs.)
Julie Kedzie vs. Tonya Evinger (140 lbs.)

PRELIMINARY MATCHES
Eddie Alvarez vs. Carlos Quinlon (160 lbs.)
Zach Makovsky vs. Wilson Reis (140 lbs.)
Binky Jones vs. TBA (150 lbs.)
Sergio Vinagre vs. Doug Gordon (170 lbs.)
Joe Shilling vs. Matt Makowski (170 lbs.)

The event will be broadcast on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET/PT, and tickets are available here. At this point, we’re really only interested in the Kedzie/Evinger fight, which would establish a clear successor to Gina Carano, should she decide to leave the fighting life and pursue other opportunities full-time; both women lost to Carano in 2007.

(Ferguson verbally agrees to fight Abbott after defeating Ray Mercer at Cage Fury FC in June 2007.)

According to Sam Caplan’s blog on ProElite.com, Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson has been scheduled to headline EliteXC’s next card on February 16th against 42-year-old brawler Tank Abbott; the event will likely go down in Ferguson’s home city of Miami. Abbott and Ferguson had originally been scheduled to fight each other in October of last year for the Cage Fury Fighting Championships organization, but the event was canceled due to financial difficulties, after which Kimbo signed an exclusive deal with EliteXC that pays him more than six figures a fight.

Abbott has a career record of 10-13, has lost 7 of his last 9 matches, and placed #2 in our list of dudes who should quit. Putting Abbott against Ferguson may interest fans who followed Tank’s UFC glory days in the mid-’90s, but it’s insulting to Kimbo; it further ghettoizes him as a freak-show act, rather than validating him as a serious mixed martial artist. We’ve posted about this before, but we’ll repeat it: Kimbo deserves better. He’s been devoted to MMA training for the better part of a year and has an intimidation factor not seen since Mike Tyson in the ’80s. Yet EliteXC still seems unwilling to risk having him go up against a credible opponent and lose. In terms of his career, Ferguson needs a challenging fight more than anything else right now, to prove that his hype is justified. After February, there will still be detactors saying “Kimbo ain’t shit, just see what happens when you put him up against a real fighter.”

5. Terry Martin puts up his dukes…sort of
The second round had just started at UFC 54: Boiling Point, when James Irvin went airborne for a flying knee. Terry Martin had battled Irvin for a round already and decided to go all soft and not protect his face. He goes down limp except for his arms, which stay raised in an “I’m not worthy” position. Moments like this should serve more as a warning to never lower your guard for even a second — it’s very likely that you’ll end up on your back looking like a chump.

4. Johnnie Morton thinks he’s playing football
Johnnie Morton was a good receiver in the pros and at USC. But does that translate to the ring? Apparently not. Especially when it appears he’s just trying to go for a weak tackle the entire time. Morton debuted his new career at K-1 Hero’s in June, displaying some of the worst technique and defense seen all year. Bernard Ackah’s nothing special, but he was good enough to see when Morton left himself exposed, and knocked homeboy out in 35 seconds. Don’t quit your day job, Johnnie — oh wait, no one wants you in the NFL these days, either.

3. Matt Lindland KO’s himself slamming Falaniko Vitale
This one went down back at UFC 43: Meltdown, where everyone thought it was just a matter of time before The Law brought Niko down. But nobody expected Lindland to misjudge the turn on the chest-to-chest slam. Lindland gets his head wedged between Niko’s falling melon and the mat, taking himself down for the count. What, A, Loser. We should mention that five months later, Lindland got his revenge and took Vitale out, not that it redeemed the shamefulness of this particular night.

I wasn’t planning on posting about this — mainly because it’s ridiculous and there’s no real source — but it keeps popping up so I feel like I need to weigh in. Basically, 411mania.com is floating a rumor that EliteXC is considering a four-man heavyweight tournament that would include Kimbo Slice, Bob Sapp, Butterbean, and Tank Abbott.

Last night’s episode of ESPN: 360 included a profile on urrybody’s favorite street-brawler-turned-MMA-contender, Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson. If you’re already a fan of Kimbo, you won’t find too much new information in the segment’s broad strokes, but check out the video below to learn about Kimbo’s first street fight, his tough times in the wake of Hurricane Andrew, and the origins of his life as an Internet star. As the clip reveals, Ferguson’s long-term contract with EliteXC pays him “more than six-figures a fight” (which translates to over $5,000 per second in his last match against Bo Cantrell, King of the Tomato Cans). Also, Tito Ortiz thinks Kimbo would get “crushed within seconds” against the level of competition in the UFC. Big words from a man who knows he’ll never be in the same weight class as the guy he’s talking shit about…

— Dana White and Randy Couture have a dinner date on Tuesday to discuss Couture’s future with the UFC.

— Kimbo Slice says he will likely fight at EliteXC’s next event, which takes place in February. Though it’s mentioned nowhere in the story, MMAFightline uses its headline to throw in a completely unfounded rumor about Tank Abbott. That’s what we like to call “aggressive journalism.”

— HDNet Fights’ next event will be on December 15th in Dallas. The 10-fight card — named “Reckless Abandon” (!) — will feature bouts between Jason “Mayhem” Miller and Sean Salmon, and Frank Trigg against Edwin Dewees.

— Carlos Newton and Maurice Smith are out as IFL coaches.

— The first date on Amy Winehouse’s new tour didn’t go so well.

Remember when we told you that Kimbo Slice’s opponent for EliteXC: Renegade had been changed from Mike Bourke to Bo Cantrell, and that Cantrell had recently become infamous as the second consecutive guy that Brad Imes submitted by gogoplata? Well, we finally have the video of the Imes/Cantrell fight. Check it out below, and notice how Cantrell looks like a completely different fighter compared to his laughable non-performance against Kimbo. He quickly drops the much-taller “Hillbilly Heartthrob” to the mat with a barrage of punches, and tries to finish the fight early with some relentless ground-and-pound. But Imes manages to keep his composure and ends up choking Cantrell out with his shin. It’s a crazy world. Too bad EliteXC didn’t put Kimbo up against Imes…

Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson is an intimidating son-of-a-bitch. Still, there’s no excuse for what happened Saturday night at EliteXC: Renegade. Kimbo’s “opponent,” Bo Cantrell — a late replacement for the injured Mike Bourke — came into the fight completely psyched out, and after a couple of glancing shots from Kimbo, he dropped to the mat and started tapping for mercy. You have to watch the video to see just how pussified it was:

“Don’t forget to watch Kimbo Slice tear some poor cracker apart on Showtime tomorrow night at 10 p.m. ET/PT!”

Will do, Tanya. By the way, you’re easily the hottest Jewish girl we’ve seen all week…