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Tag: Kimbo Slice

CagePotato Comments of the Week

Kimbo Slice beardless
(You know, without his beard, Kimbo kind of looks like Reginald VelJohnson. Props to CagePotato reader ‘DopenesS’.)

It’s weeks like these that prove how unbelievably smart, funny, and cultured CagePotato’s readers are, in comparison to the slack-jawed readers of other MMA websites. Seriously, we love you guys (no homo). Here are three highlights from a wild week in the trenches of the CP comments sections…

whitey on "Strikeforce News Roundup: Cris Cyborg Injured, Bobby Lashley Negotiating + More":
if only Da Vinci was alive to see his vision of the perfect man in flesh and bone

K.E.G. on "Gina Carano Semi-Nudity to Hit Newsstands on 10/9":
Hopefully they will leave out the obvious pages on…
-Tra telligman’s weird chest.
-Josh Haynes’s extra skin
-Jacare’s vagina head
-Kimbo’s beard/manscaped chest hair
-Cyborg’s penis
-Tito’s massively swollen head
-Kaleb Starnes’s vagina

After the jump: A strong front-runner for comment of the year…


Dana White Would Like You to Temper Your Expectations for the Rest of ‘TUF 10′

Kimbo Slice TUF 10 Ultimate Fighter UFC
(Look, we’re just as upset as you are. Photo courtesy of URDirt.)

It wasn’t long ago that Dana White was telling us that The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights was "some of the best television ever." (Ever! Right up there with the Newhart finale!) But after three weeks, reality is beginning to set in. What we’ve gotten, above everything else, is three embarassingly bad fights: Jon Madsen‘s one-sided takedown clinic against the hapless Abe Wagner, James McSweeney‘s sloppy and questionably deserved decision win over Wes "Wheezy" Shivers, and Roy Nelson‘s methodical, anti-climactic TKO of Kimbo Slice. It’s a shame that all those new viewers haven’t seen any quality MMA matches so far. Well, Dana feels your pain, and recently jumped on the Real Talk Express with Yahoo!’s Kevin Iole:

“The fight (between Slice and Nelson) sucked. I wasn’t happy with any of the fights the first three weeks, to be honest. I was disappointed by the way we came out of the gate in terms of the fights. But the fights really get better. By episode 8, believe me when I tell you, you’re going to be going wild.”

Wait a minute, so the next four episodes suck too? Does this mean that when <SPOILERS>Kimbo replaces a feverish Marcus Jones in the next episode to take on Brendan Schaub</SPOILERS>, that fight’s no good either? Cripes. It doesn’t help that this season — like last season — isn’t offering much in the way of entertaining personalities or house drama. (Why The A-Hole Show hasn’t gotten any screen time yet is anybody’s guess.) Marcus is a black dude who loves flowers and 20-sided-dice? Oooooooh! Piss in a fucking fruit tray or stop wasting my time, okay?


Six Million People Watched Roy Nelson Beat Up Kimbo Slice

Roy Nelson punches Kimbo Slice
(Props: MMA TKO)

As expected, last night’s Kimbo Slice/Roy Nelson fight drew a record-breaking audience to Spike TV’s “Ultimate Fighter.”  While the entire hour averaged 5.3 million viewers, the actual fight portion of the show pulled in, according to the press release sent out by Spike, “a staggering 6.1 million viewers” for what was a predictable and not terribly exciting one-sided victory for “Big Country.”  That pummeling now holds the distinction of being the most watched UFC fight ever on Spike TV, so it sounds like somebody really does owe Nelson a Double Whopper with cheese.  And God help you if he finds a pickle on there.


Roy Nelson Explains His Babe Ruth Reference, Says Kimbo Got Special Treatment

Okay, so maybe our close reading of Roy Nelson’s cryptic Twitter update got a little carried away and missed the more obvious implication of “Big Country’s” Babe Ruth reference before last night’s fight with Kimbo Slice on “The Ultimate Fighter.”  While our interpretation is still more fun, Nelson’s makes more sense, especially when he explains it thusly:

My plan was, I was going to stand with him as long as I could. Because I wasn’t really going to shoot on him, just because that’s what he was expecting. And then if he came in flurrying, I was just going to bodylock him, take him down and crucifix him.  You know how Babe Ruth used to point to the fence and say, "I’m going to hit this home run"? I did exactly what I wanted: take no hits, get it to the ground and just win.

Whether the Bambino ever actually did that is still unclear, but no one can say Nelson didn’t do exactly what he set out to.  He also says that while Dana White may have felt the pummeling wasn’t too severe, Kimbo Slice looked “like the Elephant Man” afterwards, due to all the knots on his head. 


‘TUF 10′ Episode 3 Recap: My Own Worst Innerme

(Kimbo vs. Roy, round 1+2.)

After all the hype, after all the brilliant video analysis, it finally happened: A fight that could have potentially headlined an EliteXC card, going down in front of about 30 people on a reality TV show set. Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson. The Irresistable Force vs. The Immovable Fat Dude. No, you won’t see it on any Fight of the Year lists, but it happened. You can’t deny that it was something that happened.

Apparently, living in a house with no televisions or computers has the same effect as smoking an assload of weed, because Kimbo began last night’s episode in a reflective, philosophical mood, getting right with God and dropping pearls of wisdom like: "When I decide to shave the beard is when ‘Kimbo’ will be put to rest…but will Kimbo ever be at rest?" He realizes that he’s always operated in relation to an exterior enemy, but hold the fuck up because maybe this whole time the enemy is the eneME, or rather, the INNER ME? Has Kimbo been fighting himself his whole life? Oh my God, player.


Roy Nelson’s Twitter Is Trying To Tell Us Something…

Roy Nelson Twitter status

Judging by his Twitter updates, Roy Nelson is really looking forward to tonight’s episode of "The Ultimate Fighter," perhaps so much so that he’s willing to spoil it for all 180 of his followers (and oh yeah, CagePotatoMMA is among that lucky few).  So what exactly should we take from this cryptic missive?  Let’s see if we can deconstruct these three sentences and find out what it is "Big Country" is really trying to say:

- Roy’s reference to Babe Ruth — not the candy bar — is clearly an attempt to distract fans from his own physique by reminding them of a great athlete with an even less impressive body than his own.  It’s kind of the same trick that girls use when they surround themselves with hideously-dressed bridesmaids on their wedding day.


Faulty Comparison Alert: Elite XC’s Use of Kimbo Slice ? UFC’s Use of Kimbo Slice

Kimbo Slice The Ultimate Fighter
(In the sculpted chest hair battle, it’s already Kimbo: 1, Roy Nelson: 0)

If you were surprised how quickly Dana White changed his attitude about Kimbo Slice once the opportunity for the UFC to make money off the internet-brawler-turned-bread-getter presented itself, then congratulations, you have only just now discovered the sport of MMA, the UFC, and the business of fight promotion.  Welcome, we’re glad to have you.  Those of us who have been following this stuff in general, and Dana White specifically, saw this change of heart coming.

But over at Yahoo! Sports, Kevin Iole seems blown away by what he refers to as a “double standard” in the way the UFC is hyping Kimbo Slice.  Iole criticizes the UFC’s use of Slice for “exhibiting much the same behavior that Elite XC and promoter Gary Shaw were so roundly criticized for,” and also calls out White for giving Kimbo at least one more fight in the UFC after the show concludes, “regardless of the outcome of the show.”

On the surface, this seems like a valid criticism.  White used to say that the only way Kimbo would get in the UFC was to win a season of TUF.  Now it seems like it was enough just to show up.  But there’s still no comparison between how EliteXC pushed Slice and how the UFC is doing it.


Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson ‘TUF 10′ Hype Roundup

Kimbo Slice MMA UFC The Ultimate Fighter

In about 12 hours (give or take, depending on where you are in the country), Kimbo Slice and Roy Nelson will go toe-to-toe in the most highly anticipated exhibition bout in Ultimate Fighter history. Will the former street brawler prove himself to be "a real fighter," or will big-bellied Roy Nelson stick to the script and chew out a win? (Or both, maybe?) I’m sure you’re all sitting on your hands in unbearable anticipation, but feel free to read this stuff to pass the time until the moment of truth:

Kimbo Slice may be fighting at UFC 107, not the TUF 10 finale: A possible slip-up during a media conference call suggests that Slice will make his post-TUF debut on the December pay-per-view card in Memphis. Implication: Kimbo loses at some point during the season, but doesn’t embarrass himself, and his television popularity is enough to warrant an appearance on a big show.


Roy Nelson: What a Bully

What you see here is a video from the Grappler’s Quest IV 8-man absolute division tournament finals.  Roy Nelson got there by beating Frank Mir via points in the first round, then Brandon Vera via kneebar in the semis.  In the finals he met a very pumped up Diego Sanchez, and although Nelson’s cardio begins failing him about halfway through the match, his size and strength advantage helps him toss "The Nightmare" all over the mat, effectively negating Sanchez’s positive mental attitude with sheer burlyness. 

Remember, this was back in 2003.  That’s the same year Kimbo Slice began to get his internet brawl on.  Does it put things in perspective to remember that back when Kimbo was throwing haymakers against nightclub bouncers in somebody’s backyard, "Big Country" was running through a grappling tournament full of UFC fighters, despite getting so exhausted that the expression on his face alone made onlookers want to vomit?  Yeah, probably.  Kimbo may have gotten the equivalent of an online associates degree in grappling via his recent crash courses, but Roy has a goddamn doctorate in this stuff.

Just for the sake of contrast, check out the video after the jump.  If Nelson doesn’t get tomorrow night’s "Ultimate Fighter" match-up to the ground right away, Greg Jackson is going to end up wondering why he even bothers to come up with gameplans for these jokers.


Watch This: The Brett Rogers Staredown Challenge, DREAM Featherweight GP Recap + More

Watch more Asylum videos on AOL Video

According to undefeated Strikeforce heavyweight Brett Rogers in the above video, you can usually tell how a fight is going to go down by the pre-fight faceoff. And so, three brave online editors decided to test their staredown might against the Grim, with decidedly mixed results. First up is cherubic writer Jordan Newmark, who nearly poops his suit-pants when Rogers penetrates deeply into his soul. But in round two, Asylum editor Jake Goodrich holds his ground despite his significant height disadvantage. (Jake was also standing on a milk crate when this was filmed.) And finally, editor Laura Gilbert evens the score with a set of Manson lamps that earns Brett’s full respect and discomfort. Also worth watching: Jordan asks Fedor Emelianenko what he really thought of Rocky IV.