(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

First, there’s the Matt Mitrione you thought you knew from TUF 10: The house snitch, the crazy guy, the brain-damaged faker, the unbearable heel of a TUF season in which we all expected Wes Sims to be the unbearable heel. In this promo for Saturday’s UFC 113 event in Montreal, Mitrione (who will be facing Kimbo Slice) acknowledges that most people who watched him on the show think he’s a "straight douchebag." However: "I’m misread quite often…I’m probably a little bit cooler than most people give me credit for." Sure Meathead, it was just the editing, right?

It seems like the UFC wants Kimbo to be the good guy in this matchup. Slice has given up sex, smoking, and drinking for his training camp, which makes him as good a role model for the children of the world as anybody else. But then there’s this video profile from IndySportsNation, which reveals a few things we didn’t know about Mitrione…

(Props: MMAVIDS10)

The UFC’s next pay-per-view card goes down May 8th in Montreal, featuring the light-heavyweight title rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua — both of whom haven’t competed since their first fight last October. This extended preview acknowledges the controversy about the decision, which Shogun lost despite the fact that he clearly landed more strikes. Following two fantastic knockout victories over Thiago Silva and Rashad Evans, Machida’s title reign was immediately put in question after the Shogun fight, and the long layoff hasn’t helped his stock. Once again, he’ll need to convince fans of his merits. And once again, Dana White sells a fight as a matchup between two guys who "don’t like to go to the ground." Well that’s a relief. I wouldn’t want any of that grappling stuff to distract from the kickboxing match I’m paying for.

In the co-main event, top welterweight contenders Josh Koscheck and Paul Daley do battle in what could turn out to be a #1 contender’s match. In fact, there’s a rumor floating around that the winner of this fight will coach opposite Georges St. Pierre on TUF 12. If Koscheck employs his superior wrestling against "Semtex," he’ll dictate the fight. If he lets his ego force him into a striking war with Paul Daley, he could get his fraggle-lookin’ head knocked off. Any predictions on UFC 113′s headlining fights? And what about the TUF 10 castmates match between Kimbo Slice and Matt "Meathead" Mitrione?

I don’t know what made me think that getting the UFC contract he asked for would make James Toney stop with the YouTube videos. I guess I mistakenly assumed that they were simply a means to an end, which is clearly not the case. This is just something Toney does. He makes videos and calls people out. When it works and he gets what he wants, he must necessarily find something/someone else to call out, and thus the whole drama renews itself.

But I don’t really want to talk about that, nor do I want to talk about why Toney might have decided that it’s in his best interest to focus on Kimbo Slice and not any of the other UFC fighters who might be more eager to welcome him to the Octagon. No, instead I think we should talk about the guy in the glasses standing just behind Toney. That guy, ladies and gentleman, is what a real hype-man looks like.

Putting recent speculation to rest, the UFC officially announced yesterday that Kimbo Slice will indeed face off with his TUF 10 castmate Matt Mitrione at UFC 113 (May 8th, Montreal). Slice is coming off a lackluster unanimous decision win against Houston Alexander at the TUF 10 finale, while Mitrione made his professional MMA debut at the same event, knocking out Marcus "Big Baby" Jones in the second round of their fight.

The fact that the Slice/Mitrione match was briefly removed from the UFC’s website, as well as the UFC’s previous vagueness with Mitrione, makes it seem like the UFC was actually considering Kimbo as an opponent for James Toney, but that freak-show will have to wait for another day. At the moment, Toney’s first opponent in the Octagon and the date of his debut are still question marks.

UFC 113 will be headlined by the light-heavyweight championship rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua; the current lineup is after the jump.

(Looks like somebody took a wrong turn on the way to the Cirque du Soleil show. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Don’t ask us to explain it, but whenever fighters and fans get together for a group photo, at least one person has to raise their fist like a tough guy. But instead of dropping the ban-hammer on this bizarre phenomenon, we decided to compile the most ridiculous, hilarious, and straight-up awesome MMA fighter fist-pose photos that we could find. If we left out any of your favorites, please shoot us some links in the comments section…

("Hey, hey, one at a time, I’m not that kind of boy.")

(Seriously, Guy-on-the-Right. What the hell have you been eating?)

(Striking fear in the hearts of buffet owners everywhere.)

Now that James Toney has signed with the UFC and hired a trainer known primarily for his boxing expertise, you might think he’d be hard at work trying to get a feel for this MMA stuff. If this were a movie, this is the point where some inspiring, upbeat music would accompany a training montage that shows Toney’s rapid improvement in the span of just a few minutes. But this isn’t a movie; this is real life. And in real life, “Lights Out” isn’t really that worried about anyone taking him down and laying on top of him.

As Toney told MMAFighting.com, he still has yet to do any actual MMA sparring, but has been shown some “basics” by Juanito Ibarra. He’s also “tried a little kickboxing and wrestling,” but isn’t too concerned since it’s “all hand-to-hand combat.” In other words, don’t even trip. Toney has got this under control, playa.

(I hope you’re working hard, James, because Kimbo is working double-hard.)

It’s not enough for the UFC to simply hold an event the same day their rivals are holding one. No, gentle readers, what Dana White may have in mind is far more savage. In an update on the Strikeforce: Nashville counter-programming situation, Sherdog passes along the following amazing detail:

Tennessee Athletic Commission Executive Director Jeff Mullen says that the UFC has not yet applied for a permit, but if this actually happens, holy shit. This is basically something Keyser Soze would do if he was running an MMA promotion. Again, overall TV ratings would still lean in favor of Strikeforce, but the UFC could steal a lot of the local heat in Nashville depending on who’s on the card. Although the proposed Mike Swick vs. Matt Serra match isn’t happening due to Swick’s impending arm-surgery, Carmichael Dave drops the rumor that James Toney vs. Kimbo Slice is being prepared as the main event for the UFC’s April 17th show.

Kind of short-notice for Lights Out, but it’s not like he was planning on getting his blue belt in BJJ before stepping into the Octagon. He’s working with a fucking boxing coach to prepare for his MMA debut, okay? He doesn’t plan on anybody laying on top of him like a lil’ fag, you feel me? All of this is still unconfirmed, but we hope it goes down, just so we can hear Dana White explain why Dan Henderson vs. Jake Shields is a freak show, while Kimbo vs. Dark Gable is legitimate MMA…

After a week of furious battle, we’re pleased to announce the five winners in our Wrong Side of Town caption contest. Picking up the DVDs are…

Duncdaddyfunk (17% of the vote): Kimbo lures in his prey with a photo op before dunking his tiny hands in gold and making fist necklaces out of them.

ddbissel (16%): I dont like Kimbo being this close to the ground.

Vlad (14%): Say what you will, but at least he’s a more credible opponent than the guys Bobby Lashley’s fighting.

drunkenmime (12%): Miami’s toughest street fighter poses for a picture with Kimbo slice.

CheckHisPee (11%): "Yo little man, do you pooh regular or do pellets be droppin?"

If your name has been called, please send your real name and address to feedback@cagepotato.com, and get ready for an action-packed thrill ride starring two pro wrestlers, a formerly-popular rapper, and whatever the hell an "Omarion" is. Props to Lion’s Gate for the hookup, and thanks to everyone who played!

While we appreciate everybody who entered our latest caption contest, the sad fact is that you can’t all be winners. In fact, we can say right now that all but nine of you are definitely losers. After slogging through over 250 entries, we’ve selected some finalists, which you can read below. Please vote for your favorite in the poll on the right; the top five vote-getters will all score Wrong Side of Town DVDs. So without further ado…

Randle McMurphy: Kimbo and Jared Shaw reminisce about the good old days.

Vlad: Say what you will, but at least he’s a more credible opponent than the guys Bobby Lashley’s fighting.

Duncdaddyfunk: Kimbo lures in his prey with a photo op before dunking his tiny hands in gold and making fist necklaces out of them.

CheckHisPee: "Yo little man, do you pooh regular or do pellets be droppin?"

ddbissel: I dont like Kimbo being this close to the ground.

Contraband: Kimbo takes time out of his training for a quick pic with Shonie Carter’s son.

drunkenmime: Miami’s toughest street fighter poses for a picture with Kimbo slice.

PurplePickle: Choking back tears of joy as the camera flashed, Curtis Sample was ready to let everybody on Facebook know exactly how he rolled.

steampunk22: Don’t FUCK with the Lollipop Guild.

Ay dog, we just wanted to let you know that our Wrong Side of Town DVD caption contest ends tomorrow at noon ET, so go here to throw in your final entries for a chance to win.

Bonus, after the jump: Check out the picture we were almost going to use for this contest, before we came across the above shot of Kimbo and the Pimpmidget. No, this is not another caption contest — wasting company time to come up with one-liners for a ridiculous photo of Aleksander Emelianenko should be its own reward.

(The tag line is "Who wants to die first" — just like that, without a question mark. That’s how you know these guys are serious.)

Don’t ask us where we got them, but we recently came into possession of a box of Wrong Side of Town DVDs, which don’t even hit stores until next Tuesday. (I know, I know, this crazy life we lead.) But instead of flipping all of them on the underground bootleg market, we’re going to skim five off the top and give them to you, our loyal and long-suffering readers. Hit us with the plot synopsis, LionsGateShop.com:

To win a copy of the flick, all you have to do is come up with a clever caption to the completely unrelated photo after the jump — which shows Kimbo Slice posing with the World’s Tiniest Pimp — and post it in the comments section below by Tuesday at noon ET. Finalists will be announced later that day. This is your moment, people. Grab it with both hands.

(Arianny Celeste self-shot bikini pics: The reason why Twitter was invented. Photo courtesy of twitpic.com/photos/ariannyceleste.)

There was a time when you had to be a well-connected MMA journalist to keep tabs on where fighters were training and who their next opponents would be. Now you can do what we do — stay in bed with your laptop all day and follow them on Twitter. We call that progress. In case you’re not as tweet-obsessed as us, or if you’re simply too old to understand what the social-networking site is — ‘sup, dad — here’s what to do: Start an account, follow twitter.com/cagepotatomma, then start adding the pages below, which represent the 25 most informative and entertaining MMA-related Twitter feeds currently in operation. Your life will change in ways you never expected. And so, in alphabetical order…

twitter.com/allelbows
Bio: "mma shooter"
Known for her artfully crafted action shots and revealing portraiture, Esther Lin might be the greatest MMA photographer working today. Lately she’s been juggling gigs for MMAFighting, Strikeforce and Showtime, and the best of her work can always be found on her website, allelbows.com. Follow Esther’s tweets for photo updates and observations from her life behind the lens.
Sample tweet: "Fighters Are Dirty: the toilet in my hotel photoshoot room has pee all over it! Guys! Lift up the seat or aim better!"

twitter.com/amirmma
Bio: "Winner of The Ultimate Fighter 7"
It turns out that Amir Sadollah‘s awkward brand of ultra-dry humor is perfectly suited to short bursts of 140 characters or less. Like most UFC fighters, he spends a lot of time tweeting about publicity appearances and food. Unlike most UFC fighters, he somehow manages to make it all genuinely entertaining.
Sample tweet: "Yes Macs are expensive. But you can’t get a virus with them so I save money on condoms."

twitter.com/AriannyCeleste
Bio: "im not that cool. lover not a fighter."
Thanks to Twitter, stalking hot chicks has never been easier! UFC ring-girl goddess Arianny Celeste takes the guesswork out of our unhealthy obsession with her by generously sharing details about where she is, who she’s with, and what she’s doing, pretty much at all times. Also: Bikini pics and bikini pics and bikini pics. Why go anywhere else?
Sample tweet: "http://twitpic.com/112o0r – On my way 2 see an agency. Hope they like me, if not I’ll kick them in the groin area n give em stank eye."

(Former internet brawler vs. former NFL bench-sitter. Who ya got?)

UFC head honcho Dana White got down to business with reporters after today’s UFC 109 press conference and told them, among other things, that Kimbo Slice‘s next opponent will indeed be fellow TUF 10 contestant Matt Mitrione.  According to White, the fight is going down at UFC 113 in Montreal, and you know what that means, right?  The Miami Pound Machine is finally going international, playa!

From where I sit, which is on my front porch whittling away at a stick and keeping an eye on those no good neighborhood kids, it’s a matchup that makes sense.  It pits Slice against another foe who can throw them things, so to speak, and hopefully without any weird catchweight stuff to try and tip the scales in his favor.  It also lends him the appearance of fighting a credible UFC heavyweight, because at least Mitrione was on TV acting crazy quite a bit and is coming off an impressive KO win over Marcus Jones on the finale.  The fact that it was his first professional fight and now he gets Kimbo, well, what did you expect?  They aren’t feeding ‘Ferg to the wolves until they’re sure he’s served his purpose.

Speaking of guys who have served their purpose but continue to hang around, DW spoke about Tito Ortiz‘s claim that Chuck Liddell had recently licked alcoholism thanks to an intervention by White himself.  You’d better sit down for this one, because it sounds as if Tito might have been fudging the truth just a bit:

George Orwell once said, “To see what is front of one’s nose needs a really good internet video editor.” Since he said this long before the invention of the internet, it probably confused the hell out of people. But as this new video from Lookoutawhale demonstrates, once more Orwell turns out to be right and everyone who doubted him feels like an idiot.

It’s not that we didn’t know how dramatically Dana White’s opinion of a guy can change once the opportunity to make money off of him presents itself. He’s a fight promoter.  Hyping stuff, sometimes through gross exaggerations of the truth, is what he does.  We knew this. But something about seeing the contrast between what DW claimed to believe about Kimbo Slice before he was in the UFC and what he had to say about him after he signed on for "The Ultimate Fighter" really slammed the point home.  White is a salesman, and salesmen tend to value honesty less than they value sales.

Again, we knew this. It’s just probably a good idea to remind ourselves every once in a while.

(‘Why, Anthony? I trusted you!’)

Today many people agreed to fight many other people for money at a later date, and as tedious as it is to run through all the fights that you’ll eventually learn about one way or another anyway, we might as well drag ourselves through it one more time:

– Josh Koscheck announced via Twitter today that he will fight Paul "Semtex" Daley in a "co main event" bout at UFC 113 on May 1st.  Daley has been grumbling about wanting a crack at Koscheck lately, and Koscheck responded by tweeting, "[t]his kid is going 2 get what he’s asking 4. XOXO"  Wait a minute, are we sure Koscheck’s Twitter wasn’t hacked by a fourteen year-old girl?

With his one-year steroid suspension coming to an end next month, UFC Hall-of-Famer/Juggalo wrestler Ken Shamrock is ready to get back out there and prove that he can still circle the cage for a few minutes, fall dead to the mat after getting punched, and collect his paycheck. And get this: Some attention-hungry new promotion is actually giving him a shot at a championship belt.

MMA Fighting passes along the news that International Unlimited Fighting‘s debut event (March 6; Cancun, Mexico) will feature a five-round light-heavyweight title bout between Shammy and Seth Petruzelli. If you’ll recall, Shamrock was originally supposed to face Kimbo Slice at EliteXC: Heat in October ’08, but pulled out at the last minute due to a cut over his eye, and was replaced by Petruzelli, who went on to knock Slice out in 14 seconds. It’s unclear how the IUF will be able to spin that bit of shared history into the inevitable grudge-match angle. If anything, Petruzelli is probably thankful to Shamrock for providing him with the opportunity to make his name off of Kimbo on network television. We can only hope that Shamrock calls Petruzelli a pink-haired fruitcake and threatens to beat him into a living death.

Petruzelli — who will win this fight in the first round, assuming there’s no pre-fight drug test that would bar Shamrock from competing in the first place, and since it’s being held in Mexico I’m assuming we’re all good — last competed in August, when he scored a first-round TKO over Chris Baten.

At the beginning of every year there are always nuggets of conventional wisdom that seem absolutely unassailable in January and are laughable by December. This has always been the case, and not just in the world of MMA. For instance, in January of 1941 Pearl Harbor was a nice, calm, wonderfully exotic place for U.S. servicemen to be stationed. By December it was fodder for a horrible Michael Bay movie. Just goes to show that we never know as much as we think we do, though it doesn’t stop us from making definitive statements that will later seem totally ridiculous. Here now are some of the MMA truths that became lies in 2009…

Lyoto Machida is the most boring fighter in the UFC

At the start of 2009 Machida had finished just two of his last seven fights (one of them a TKO due to exhaustion), and had cemented his reputation as the fighter who was too "elusive" to be interesting. The UFC seemed intent on keeping him away from a title shot, but inked him for a showdown of undefeated Brazilians against Thiago Silva at UFC 94. That’s when "The Dragon" showed his fangs or claws or whatever it is that dragons have, and after knocking out Rashad Evans to claim the light heavyweight title in similarly ferocious fashion a few months later, we were forced to abandon our belief that Machida would forever be MMA’s version of Ambien. Too bad that our revised position didn’t fare much better…

Lyoto Machida is damn near unbeatable

The “Machida Era” was supposed to be a reign as dominant and prolific as that of middleweight champ Anderson Silva, which left many of us scratching our heads when “Shogun” Rua got the nod as his first challenger. Rua was 2-1 in the UFC at that point and he hadn’t beaten anyone even near their prime since leaving Pride. Despite coming in as a heavy underdog, Rua gave Machida all he could handle for five rounds and seemed to be on his way to a decision victory before the judges decided to discount leg kicks altogether. Machida survived with the belt, but not with his aura of invincibility.

MMA had more than its share of unforgettable moments this year — though many of them were unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. With 2009 drawing to a close, we’ve collected and ranked the year’s lowlights. Now let’s never speak of these things ever again…

#9: The "Hello Japan!" incident at DREAM.7 (3/8/09)

Fighting in the Saitama Super Arena must be an incredible experience. There you are, surrounded by 20,000 eerily quiet Japanese people who all seem to appreciate the intricacies of the sport. During his match against submission wizard Shinya Aoki at DREAM.7, American journeyman David Gardner tried to honor the occasion by waving to the crowd and saying "Hello Japan!" The problem was, Aoki had his back at the time, and as soon as Gardner’s hand went up, Aoki whipped his arm under Gardner’s neck and sunk in a rear-naked choke. "Oh my God it is so dumb," Bas Rutten lamented in the broadcast booth. Dumb is an understatement. Even "Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot" is a more respectable way to lose a fight. Way to represent the Red, White & Blue, Dave.

#8: Chuck Liddell dances with the stars (9/21/09-10/13/09)

When Dana White temporarily retired Chuck Liddell following his knockout loss to Mauricio Rua at UFC 97, few could have guessed that the Iceman’s next move would be an appearance on a dance-competition show that no red-blooded MMA fan in their right mind would ever watch. Liddell joined the ninth season of Dancing With the Stars with no formal dance training to speak of, and despite his best efforts he didn’t fool any of the judges, who called him everything from "graceless" to "gentle neanderthal." After four weeks of low scores and fruity costumes, Liddell was sent packing. On the bright side, Chuck expanded his fanbase on network television, outlasted fellow competitor Tom DeLay, and probably wound up banging his redheaded dance partner. Still, Tito Ortiz’s stint on Celebrity Apprentice now seems like the most badass thing in the world by comparison.

(Props: Spike.com)

Saturday night’s Spike Video Game Awards crowned UFC Undisputed 2009 as the year’s Best Individual Sports Game, beating out such notable titles as Fight Night Round 4 and Wii Sports Resort. And while that’s not a huge accomplishment considering that the UFC and Spike are in bed together and the whole broadcast was basically just one big advertisement, the ceremony did offer a first look at next year’s installment of Undisputed.

We begin with a montage of UFC stars telling us what being a fighter does and doesn’t require. To be honest, it sounds like a very demanding profession. Tito Ortiz tries so hard to sell his line, God bless him. Though there isn’t much actual game-footage to judge, some minor improvements are on display: Anderson Silva switches from southpaw to orthodox stance. Frank Mir is held against the fence. And of course, Kimbo Slice joins the cast, swinging some wide-ass punches at a faceless opponent. UFC Undisputed 2010 is slated to hit stores on May 25th — what improvements would you like to see in the updated version?

We knew this was coming.  Talking with Fanhouse’s Ariel Helwani, UFC president Dana White confirms that Houston Alexander does not have a future in the UFC after his dismal performance against Kimbo Slice at last weekend’s TUF 10 Finale.  Hardly surprising, right?  Alexander had already been run out of the UFC once, and was only brought back because he seemed like a beatable opponent for Kimbo (which he was) with a modicum of name value.  He lost, he looked bad doing it, and so he’s fired again.  Everything here is going according to script.

But remember when Roy Nelson jokingly referred to himself as the UFC’s official suckmeter?  Remember when he said that he was going to be the guy who, if you couldn’t beat him, it meant you didn’t belong in the UFC?  You thinking what I’m thinking here, dog?    

(Props: BuySilverStar.com)

Following the Hoelzer Reich fiasco, it’s refreshing to see an MMA t-shirt sponsor that actually gets it right. Sure, there’s a skull in Clay Guida‘s new "Run to the Hills" tee ($40) from Silver Star — which the Carpenter will be wearing during his cage-entrance at UFC 107 — and yes, the skull thing has already been beaten into the ground. But as any metal fan could tell you, that skull belongs to Iron Maiden mascot Eddie the Head. Maybe you would appreciate this more if you had just been listening to "The Trooper" before you saw this. Or maybe you’d be more interested in some of the other signature tees that will be on display this Saturday…

(Jon Jones doesn’t know what to tell you. Sometimes you eat the bear and, well, sometimes you get disqualified for hitting him with illegal elbows. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle’s after-party set.)

A bizarre night in Las Vegas brought the latest heavyweight experiment of “The Ultimate Fighter” to an end, and not a moment too soon. Now we break down the results to see who’s up and who’s down according to the patent-pending technology of the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings.

Roy Nelson +87
We get it, his physique is unimpressive. But a KO win showed he can fight on the feet and on the mat. Funny that Burger King doesn’t seem more pleased with a free endorsement from an athlete who’s known for his unappealing body.

Brendan Schaub -21
As we’ve seen in the past, losing in the TUF Finale isn’t any more a condemnation than winning is a guarantee of future success. Once he gets some experience under his belt, he could turn out to be an exciting fighter to watch. Why not give him Kimbo next, just for fun?

(Brendan Schaub does his best impression of Darrill Schoonover’s stomach. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Not to stereotype dudes from New Jersey, but Frankie Edgar is probably pumpin’ his fist like a champ right about now. The UFC lightweight contender came out of the TUF 10 Finale as the card’s highest-paid scrapper, thanks in part to his well-deserved Fight of the Night bonus. Meanwhile, reality struck Kimbo Slice, who’s now earning 1/20th of what he used to make in EliteXC. Of course, he could have gotten paid more behind the scenes, but we only have the official figures in front of us, and you know how we hate to speculate without hard evidence. [*cough*] The full salary list is below…

Roy Nelson: $41,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $25,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Brendan Schaub: $8,000

Matt Hamill: $46,000 (includes $23,000 win bonus)
Jon Jones: $20,000

Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson: $25,000 (no win bonus)
Houston Alexander: $13,000

Frankie Edgar: $71,000 (includes $23,000 win bonus, $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Matt Veach: $30,000 (includes $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

At the post-fight press conference following the TUF 10 Finale, Kimbo Slice was as pleased as you could reasonably expect considering he’d just narrowly scratched out a victory against a guy who all but refused to fight him. Though fans and pundits expected Slice and Houston Alexander to put on a one-round war — a backyard brawl brought to the Octagon — we instead got Minowaman vs. Zuluzinho part 2. "We were prepared for somewhat of his attacks, but I wasn’t prepared for the ring-riding that he did," Kimbo said. Still, he wasn’t going to let Alexander bait him into making a mistake:

(Roy Nelson gives Ariel Helwani the obligatory belly rub.)

Roy Nelson became the newest/fattest "Ultimate Fighter" winner with his knockout of Brendan Schaub at last night’s TUF 10 Finale.  Dana White must have been at least a little impressed this time, because he awarded "Big Country" the Knockout of the Night bonus, worth a cool $25,000.  Mark Bocek took home the Submission of the Night bonus for the rear naked choke on Joe Brammer that came at the end of an absolute grappling clinic.  Fight of the Night went to Frankie Edgar and Matt Veach for a spirited two round battle that ended with a submission victory for Edgar.

(Top: Kimbo and Roy demonstrate the difference between "built like a black man" and "built like a polar bear." Directly above: The Amanda Knox verdict affected some fighters more than others.)

Okay, so "Heavyweights" wasn’t the best season of The Ultimate Fighter we’ve seen. Let’s be honest: Project Runway had a more talented group of fighters this year, and there weren’t as many divas. But tonight’s finale card will still give us a very entertaining night of fights, with two worthy TUF finalists, Kimbo Slice’s (possibly) last stand, and the always exciting Jon Jones looking to launch to the next level against Matt Hamill. Round-by-round updates from the TUF 10 Finale are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. We begin our evening’s entertainment with a grudge match between two ex-football players…

(Kimbo, if the diet plan includes cocaine, cigarettes, and vomiting, it’s possible that you may be getting weight cutting advice from the wrong people.)

As the only fighter from season ten of "The Ultimate Fighter" to get a spot on the finale without winning a single fight in the tournament, you might think Kimbo Slice would be stoked simply to be getting the opportunity to show what he can do.  Considering the fact that he’s a heavyweight who is being handed a custom-made catchweight bout with a non-grappler from the weight class below his, you might even expect him to be damn near chipper about the whole thing.  You’d be wrong. 

On a media conference call to discuss this weekend’s finale fights, Slice revealed that he’s been struggling to make the roughly twenty-pound weight cut.  Though he only has to get down to 215 pounds, Slice said that so far the pound-shedding experience has been "not good," adding that the struggle has left him "moody" and generally mentally distressed. 

(Props: MMA Share)

With Houston Alexander and Kimbo Slice set to square off in a "Ultimate Fighter" finale fight that could have been the Super Bowl of backyard brawls a few years ago, it seems only fitting that we take a look at what happens when the social contract breaks down and one man fails to adhere to the Chill Dawg Rule, which has a clear precedent in the fighting world.  What you see here is a fight between Kristijan Golubovic and Marian Rusu in a Serbian event ironically titled "Ultra FC: Stop the Crime." 

While there is no official word on whether this event succeeded in halting all crime in Serbia, it could not have helped that this fight turned into a lawless shit-show less than thirty seconds in.  Rusu was eventually ruled the loser via leg injury, but his opponent was reluctant to let him off that easily, chasing him around the cage and shoving the ref down in order to continue fighting a man who clearly wanted out.  I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, since Golubovic appears to be a pretty famous criminal in his home country.  He also has an awesomely obnoxious website.

Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there.  There’s nothing cool about failing to chill when asked properly.

After his latest “Do you wanna be an [expletive] fighter” speech on the last episode, Dana White is surprised that nobody is stepping over Matt Mitrione to take his spot, which is strange because Scott Junk made it very clear that he’d just do that, wrecked eye notwithstanding. One guy who definitely isn’t down to fight is (wait for it) Kimbo Slice, who’s concerned about his arthritis-stricken knee and starts throwing out excuses. Bottom line is, he won’t be able to perform at full strength, and he can’t stomach another loss, so he’d just rather not fight, if that’s cool.

“I am in no position to fight a kickboxer like James McSweeney at this point,” he says, adding that it would “demise” him a little bit taking the fight knowing he wasn’t healthy. Dana White is a little taken back; he didn’t expect this from Kimbo, whose gameness was supposed to be his best quality. But that’s the situation. The season’s poster boy turns out to be a total bust. I demand a refund.

Luckily, Matt Mitrione feels healthy again. He tells Rashad that he’s been cleared to fight, and Rashad tells us "I bet he called the doctor and the doctor said ‘listen kid, I told you two days ago you could fight,’” which is hilarious because that’s pretty much exactly how it went down. Finally, Mitrione admits that his head injury story was exaggerated to mess with James McSweeney and keep himself entertained. Ohhhhh, now it all makes sense…

(You don’t dress for the job you have, you dress for the job you want: manager of an inner-city Boot Barn location. Everybody has a dream.)

The final episode of "The Ultimate Fighter" season ten, is just a few hours away, and the boys at Spike TV seem like they may be worried that there isn’t enough at stake to make you tune in for the full two-hour show.  To remedy that, they sent out a teaser email promising that Kimbo Slice‘s future will be "revealed" tonight, prompting us to wonder whether this is finally going to be the TUF episode where the guys encounter a gypsy woman on the road during the drive home from the gym and she tells everyone’s fortune by looking at globules of their spit on the pavement (bad news for Wes Sims, he drowns in the Bering Sea this March). 

To further pique our interest on the matter, Ferg himself had this to say:

"Now it’s time for the next step in my career. Everyone will see what that is tonight on Spike. …It’s gonna be good.  Watch the show tonight. You’ll see what’s next for me. All I can say is that somebody’s getting knocked out. …Everybody knows what my stronghold is.  People will be able to see me and judge for themselves."

The weird part is, we pretty much already know what Kimbo’s immediate future holds; he’s fighting Houston Alexander.  So what’s all this next step stuff?  Unless something else happens in tonight’s episode to guide Slice’s life down a dramatically different path.  Something totally insane…