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Tag: Kimbo Slice

‘I Can’t Fathom a Human Being Who Can Take Five Minutes of My Shots.’

TK
(Ferguson and Abbott sort of stare each other down; photo props: Tom Casino/EliteXC via FiveOunces)

Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott participated in one last press conference for “Street Certified” yesterday at Bernie Kosar’s Steakhouse in Miami. It seems like the two have blown their respective-wads, hype-wise, but they did provide these quotes:

TANK ABBOTT:
— “Training has just evolved for this fight more than for any of my other opponents. I have taken it very seriously.”

— “Kimbo is going to get hurt, that’s for sure. The way I am and the shape I’m in right now I can’t fathom a human being who can take five minutes of my shots. I am on fire right now.”

— “I think it is funny that he’s got Bas Rutten to train him. This is a real fight, not a slap-fest. He should have gotten a real fighter to train him. Training with Bas is better than nothing. But you either have it or you don’t. Technique doesn’t make you tough.”

— “I think Kimbo’s motivation is to be on TV or on the Internet. I think that is why he fights. Me? I have been in over 200 street fights to various degrees, ranging from knocking a guy out at a stop light to sending someone to the ICU for a week. I fight because I love it…I like it because I can’t go to jail for it.”

— “If you make a strategy to fight someone you are developing little crutches for yourself. I don’t have a plan.”

— “Everybody gives me shit about my shape. I can do 15 minutes on my head holding my breath.”

KIMBO SLICE:
— “Tank is full of shit if he thinks I can’t take his punches. I’m bringing the whole thing to the cage. I am bringing the hood with me to this cage.”

— “This fight means a lot to not only me but the entire city. This is big time. That is why I am going to break his rib, break his nose, break his arm.”

— “There are a lot of things in my arsenal I am going to try to use. If he’s a tad bit slow, I’m going to hurt him. I’ve trained with the best. It is going to be a long fight for him, or a short night.”

— “The right hand is for his top lip, the left hand is for his bottom lip.”

— “Bas (Rutten) is a mentor of mine. Anything Tank has to say about Bas, I am going to take it personal. I am going to make him pay for his words.”

— “Tank has a very big mouth. He needs to be careful about what he says. We take a lot of things personal. I just hope I don’t run into him before the fight starts. I want to settle this in the cage.”

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‘What Would Kimbo Do?’ — Episode 1

It’s finally here! Kimbo Slice dishes out some poetic justice, garbage-can-style, in the series premiere of What Would Kimbo Do? Enjoy, and let us know what you think…

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‘What Would Kimbo Do?’ Debuts Tomorrow!

What, you didn’t think we tracked the dude down just so he could say hi to us? Tomorrow marks the premiere of What Would Kimbo Do?, an original series starring Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson that we put together with Break.com and ProElite.com. As the press release tells it:

The premise of each 30- to 60-second Webisode focuses on a down-on-his-luck guy facing a series of everyday dilemmas, but rather than just grin and bear it, Kimbo steps in and handles it in his own special way.

Obviously, we’re beyond ecstatic that a hair-brained idea hatched months ago is actually becoming a reality. Stop by tomorrow as we make history, and spread the word to all your Kimbo-lovin’ pals.

Also: We’re hoping that WWKD? is just the first step in taking CagePotato to “the next level” (whatever that may be). Right now, all the writing on this site is done by two dudes, and we could always use more help with reporting and features. If you’re interested in contributing to CagePotato on a freelance basis (yes, there’s money involved), e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com. Professional writing experience is a plus; original ideas are required.

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Week in Review: Little James Lipton

LJL
(I know this picture has nothing to do with MMA. Still, it amuses me.)

Our latest caption contest produced over a hundred new variations of “Kevin Federline sucks.” Well done.

Bob Meyrowitz dodged our questions, much like the fighters of YAMMA will have to dodge the laser-firing sharks in his Mystery Pit.

A female member of the Gracie clan was discovered. Bonus: She’s hot!

— We scored our first celebrity endorsement, who provided us with the greatest slogan in history.

— The UFC has more cases than Howie Mandel.

Frank Shamrock stopped by, and revealed that he’ll be retiring in 2018. We’ll start planning the party.

— Tickets to UFC 83 were going, going, gone. Hey, we didn’t want to be there anyway. :’ (

— Some fighters are even dumber than they look.

— The Potato Nation proved their allegiance, rising up when a misguided, microphallic BloodyElbow fan named “MrTypo” wandered in and threatened to unbookmark us from his web browser. Somehow, MrTypo found his way back to this site even without the bookmark. For that sir, you deserve our undying admiration. Now get the fuck out of here and never come back.

As for the rest of you: Have a bomb-ass weekend, and make sure to swing by on Sunday for our exclusive interview with MMA Super-Agent Ken Pavia, and next week for more guaranteed insanity.

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Kimbo Slice Has a Son Named “Kevlar”

Here’s Mr. Ferguson’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last night. It was just aight for me, dog — although the Mr. T/Jeffrey mash-up was pretty brills. The most interesting revelation is that Kimbo has a George Foreman-esque egocentric quirk w/r/t naming his children. Of his six kids, two sons are named Kevin, and he has a daughter named Kevina. And of course his two-year-old is muthafuckin’ bulletproof.

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CagePotato Community Corner: Kimbo on Kimmel, UFC Fight Night 13 Petition

— We didn’t think Jimmy Kimmel could score a more awesomely random pairing than Tank Abbott/Heidi Montag, but he’ll make it happen tonight as he welcomes none other than Kimbo Slice and Dr. Phil McGraw to his couch (ABC, 12:05/11:05c.). And of course, Tito Ortiz and Ricco Rodriguez are still hangin’ in on Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Rehab, so tune in tonight and show your support.

— Also, Fightlinker has launched a petition to convince SpikeTV to make UFC Fight Night 13 into a 3-hour broadcast, and they’re reaching out to folks like us to spread awareness. It’s a good cause, so if you care about seeing as much of the super-stacked card as possible, e-mail feedback@spike.com with the following (or a variation that more closely reflects your personal truth):

SUBJECT: UFC Fight Night on April 2nd

Hi
I’m writing to ask that the UFC Fight Night on April 2nd be given three hours of time instead of two. The card is one of the best UFC cards ever put on Spike, and it deserves a longer timeslot. The entire fight community is looking forward to seeing this event, and I am sure you’ll have a significantly higher number of viewers if you decide to show more of the card.

Thank you for your time
[your name]

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Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

We’d take Kevin Ferguson‘s endorsement over Ted Kennedy‘s any day. Stay tuned, because this isn’t the last you’ll see of Kimbo on the Potato. Oh, no — this is just the beginning.

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Kimbo Slice: “I’mma Hurt You, Boss”

EliteXC has released a new promo clip for its Street Certified event on February 16th. In it, Kimbo Slice discusses his respect for Tank Abbott. Unfortunately, since Tank is potentially standing in the way of a Slice family trip to Orlando, respect will only go so far…

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Tank Abbott vs. Leno, Letterman

Tank

For those of you who fall into one of the following categories:

a) I Love Tank Abbott.
b) I Love “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
c) I stay up late to catch whatever is on against Letterman or Leno.
d) I am Kimbo Slice.

…the following is for you.

(FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE)

This just in: The always colorful, entertaining and unpredictable David “Tank” Abbott will be a special guest on the nationally televised Jimmy Kimmel Live show tonight/Thursday at 12:05 a.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Tank (tankabbott.proelite.com), one of the original Mixed Martial Arts bad boys and most ferocious knockout artists in history, will discuss, among other things, his eagerly anticipated, long-awaited grudge fight with Kimbo Slice (kimboslice.proelite.com) set for Saturday, Feb. 16, at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami on SHOWTIME.

Other guests Thursday will include reality show star Heidi Montague of the “The Hills.”

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Week in Review: Is Anybody Else Sick of Jason “Mayhem” Miller?

JMM
(Not funny.)

— Bas Rutten starred in the best YTMND page of all-time. (last link)

MMA Girl Joanne enchanted us with an exclusive video interview.

— We got overly emotional about Gina Carano.

EliteXC signed two members of the Shamrock family. Unfortunately, neither one was Frank. We marveled at Ryan’s physique and gave Ken some encouragement.

— The UFC filed a lawsuit against Randy Couture. Your move, Natural.

— We solicited your predictions for the Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott fight, then liveblogged their press conference.

— We counted down the best fights that didn’t take place in a ring or cage.

— We put $1,000 up for grabs in the Serious Pimp t-shirt design contest.

— Instead of predicting UFC 80‘s winners, we predicted the bonuses. (Reminder: Come back tomorrow at 3 p.m. ET for the UFC 80 liveblog. Good times guaranteed.)

We coped with a slow news day.

Have a great weekend, people. Stay hungry.

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