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Tag: Kimbo Slice

Tank Abbott vs. Leno, Letterman

Tank

For those of you who fall into one of the following categories:

a) I Love Tank Abbott.
b) I Love “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
c) I stay up late to catch whatever is on against Letterman or Leno.
d) I am Kimbo Slice.

…the following is for you.

(FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE)

This just in: The always colorful, entertaining and unpredictable David “Tank” Abbott will be a special guest on the nationally televised Jimmy Kimmel Live show tonight/Thursday at 12:05 a.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Tank (tankabbott.proelite.com), one of the original Mixed Martial Arts bad boys and most ferocious knockout artists in history, will discuss, among other things, his eagerly anticipated, long-awaited grudge fight with Kimbo Slice (kimboslice.proelite.com) set for Saturday, Feb. 16, at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami on SHOWTIME.

Other guests Thursday will include reality show star Heidi Montague of the “The Hills.”

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Week in Review: Is Anybody Else Sick of Jason “Mayhem” Miller?

JMM
(Not funny.)

— Bas Rutten starred in the best YTMND page of all-time. (last link)

MMA Girl Joanne enchanted us with an exclusive video interview.

— We got overly emotional about Gina Carano.

EliteXC signed two members of the Shamrock family. Unfortunately, neither one was Frank. We marveled at Ryan’s physique and gave Ken some encouragement.

— The UFC filed a lawsuit against Randy Couture. Your move, Natural.

— We solicited your predictions for the Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott fight, then liveblogged their press conference.

— We counted down the best fights that didn’t take place in a ring or cage.

— We put $1,000 up for grabs in the Serious Pimp t-shirt design contest.

— Instead of predicting UFC 80‘s winners, we predicted the bonuses. (Reminder: Come back tomorrow at 3 p.m. ET for the UFC 80 liveblog. Good times guaranteed.)

We coped with a slow news day.

Have a great weekend, people. Stay hungry.

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Liveblog: Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott Conference Call; Tank Prefers “Potato Juice”

KT

As promised earlier…

Click the “MORE” link and refresh the page every couple minutes to see the latest announcements and trash-talk from the EliteXC “Street Certified” conference call. Because knowing, as some say, is 50% of the battle.

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Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott Conference Call Today: Now Accepting Your Questions

Tank
(Tank Abbott, after eating 200 deviled eggs.)

Heads up, Potato Nation: EliteXC is holding a media conference call today at 4 p.m. ET, where Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson, David “Tank” Abbott, and EliteXC live events president Gary Shaw will be taking questions about the upcoming “Street Certified” event in Miami on February 16. I’ll be liveblogging it, so be sure to tune in later for the play-by-play.

Each media outlet generally gets to ask 1-3 questions at these things, so if you have any queries for the guys that are relatively insightful and won’t get me banned from future conference calls, post ‘em in the comments. And if you haven’t thrown in a prediction for the Kimbo/Tank fight yet, do it!

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Kimbo Slice: “When It’s Time Come to Bump, You Gonna Bump.”

ProElite has put together a new promo video to hype the Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott fight on February 16. Two things stand out: First, Tank only gets about 1.5 seconds of screen time; maybe this was done so that uninformed Kimbo fans don’t see recent footage of Tank in action and immediately lose their excitement for this ugly mismatch. Second, ProElite is getting a lot of mileage from Kimbo’s three-punch victory over Bo Cantrell. This is like the video-editing equivalent to Native Americans using every part of the buffalo.

So let’s try to call it. I’m saying that the fight will end at 0:59 of the first round — generous, I know — with Kimbo winning it by TKO (punches). Put down your predictions in the comments section below. The reader who calls it closest gets a fantastic prize to be named later. I’m also willing to entertain side-bets from readers who think Tank is going to pull out a surprise victory. Watch the video, then have at it…

UPDATE: Alright, this is Tank’s promo clip. There’s something a little sad about that shot of him running up the hill and stopping to shadow-box. Getting strong now!

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‘Most Significant Fight Card in the History of MMA…’

Tank

EliteXC sent out a press release yesterday announcing that tickets to their February 16th event featuring Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott will go on sale this Friday at Ticketmaster, and confirming that the event will take place at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami. Check the first sentence:

“Fans seeking to participate in perhaps the biggest, most significant fight card in the history of mixed martial arts in Florida will have the opportunity to reserve their spots beginning this Friday, Jan. 11, when tickets to EliteXC’s tremendous mega-event on Saturday, Feb. 16, will go on sale.”

At first, I skipped over that “in Florida” part and nearly shot Scotch out of my nose. Upon re-reading, I was still unconvinced. Surely this sideshow won’t be bigger than the UFC’s record-breaking Ortiz/Shamrock III event, or UFC 42, which featured Matt Hughes’s five-round war with Sean Sherk. Personally, I don’t think it’ll even be as significant as those smoker matches Din Thomas was arrested for last year — I mean, Din kinda became our Rosa Parks after that one. I love fight-hype as much as the next guy, but to paraphrase John Lennon, if you start referring to Slice/Abbott as a “tremendous mega-event,” you ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

I’ve ranted before about how unfortunate of a move this fight is for Kevin Ferguson and EliteXC, so I’ll spare you this time. Instead, I’ll post this bizarre video of Tank Abbott drunkenly mouthing off to a guy wearing a Kimbo Slice mask (at a bar? in his basement?), which looks to be directed by David Lynch and shot with the same camera used to record Rick Salomon banging Paris Hilton.

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Video of the Weekend: “A Morning With Kimbo”

Fresh off the announcement that Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will be facing Tank Abbott at an EliteXC event on February 16, Triumph United has released a video of Kimbo in the gym, talking about his upcoming fight with Tank, his disappointingly short beatdown of Bo Cantrell, and the fact that entire rooms get dark when he pulls his pants down. We particularly appreciate his use of the phrase “real talk.” CagePotato and R. Kelly salute you…

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EliteXC Adds a Show, HDNet Fights Loses One

JulKed
(Julie Kedzie: There’s nothing better than losing that last 10…)

According to press release sent out today by EliteXC, that Miami event featuring Kimbo Slice vs. Tank Abbott won’t be the first show that Elite puts on in 2008. “ShoXC: EliteXC Challenger Series” is scheduled to go down on January 25th in Atlantic City and will feature the following matches:

TELEVISED CARD
Paul “Semtex” Daley vs. TBA (160 lbs.)
Yves Edwards vs. Kyle Bradley (160 lbs.)
Bobby McMaster vs. Bao Quach (150 lbs.)
Kala Kolohe Hose vs. Bellaton Frederic (185 lbs.)
Julie Kedzie vs. Tonya Evinger (140 lbs.)

PRELIMINARY MATCHES
Eddie Alvarez vs. Carlos Quinlon (160 lbs.)
Zach Makovsky vs. Wilson Reis (140 lbs.)
Binky Jones vs. TBA (150 lbs.)
Sergio Vinagre vs. Doug Gordon (170 lbs.)
Joe Shilling vs. Matt Makowski (170 lbs.)

The event will be broadcast on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET/PT, and tickets are available here. At this point, we’re really only interested in the Kedzie/Evinger fight, which would establish a clear successor to Gina Carano, should she decide to leave the fighting life and pursue other opportunities full-time; both women lost to Carano in 2007.

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Kimbo vs. Tank: It’s On, Unfortunately

KSTA
(Ferguson verbally agrees to fight Abbott after defeating Ray Mercer at Cage Fury FC in June 2007.)

According to Sam Caplan’s blog on ProElite.com, Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson has been scheduled to headline EliteXC’s next card on February 16th against 42-year-old brawler Tank Abbott; the event will likely go down in Ferguson’s home city of Miami. Abbott and Ferguson had originally been scheduled to fight each other in October of last year for the Cage Fury Fighting Championships organization, but the event was canceled due to financial difficulties, after which Kimbo signed an exclusive deal with EliteXC that pays him more than six figures a fight.

Abbott has a career record of 10-13, has lost 7 of his last 9 matches, and placed #2 in our list of dudes who should quit. Putting Abbott against Ferguson may interest fans who followed Tank’s UFC glory days in the mid-’90s, but it’s insulting to Kimbo; it further ghettoizes him as a freak-show act, rather than validating him as a serious mixed martial artist. We’ve posted about this before, but we’ll repeat it: Kimbo deserves better. He’s been devoted to MMA training for the better part of a year and has an intimidation factor not seen since Mike Tyson in the ’80s. Yet EliteXC still seems unwilling to risk having him go up against a credible opponent and lose. In terms of his career, Ferguson needs a challenging fight more than anything else right now, to prove that his hype is justified. After February, there will still be detactors saying “Kimbo ain’t shit, just see what happens when you put him up against a real fighter.”

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The Five Most Pathetic Knockouts of All-Time

5. Terry Martin puts up his dukes…sort of
The second round had just started at UFC 54: Boiling Point, when James Irvin went airborne for a flying knee. Terry Martin had battled Irvin for a round already and decided to go all soft and not protect his face. He goes down limp except for his arms, which stay raised in an “I’m not worthy” position. Moments like this should serve more as a warning to never lower your guard for even a second — it’s very likely that you’ll end up on your back looking like a chump.

4. Johnnie Morton thinks he’s playing football
Johnnie Morton was a good receiver in the pros and at USC. But does that translate to the ring? Apparently not. Especially when it appears he’s just trying to go for a weak tackle the entire time. Morton debuted his new career at K-1 Hero’s in June, displaying some of the worst technique and defense seen all year. Bernard Ackah’s nothing special, but he was good enough to see when Morton left himself exposed, and knocked homeboy out in 35 seconds. Don’t quit your day job, Johnnie — oh wait, no one wants you in the NFL these days, either.

3. Matt Lindland KO’s himself slamming Falaniko Vitale
This one went down back at UFC 43: Meltdown, where everyone thought it was just a matter of time before The Law brought Niko down. But nobody expected Lindland to misjudge the turn on the chest-to-chest slam. Lindland gets his head wedged between Niko’s falling melon and the mat, taking himself down for the count. What, A, Loser. We should mention that five months later, Lindland got his revenge and took Vitale out, not that it redeemed the shamefulness of this particular night.

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