(Props: YouTube.com/norton via BloodyElbow)

This Kimbo Slice character — he’s so hot right now. And security software company Norton has decided to use him in a commercial to represent cybercriminals. Random, yes, but at least Kimbo makes more sense than Norton’s previous celebrity bad guys, the ’80s band Dokken. By the way, if you want to see what would happen if you chose "allow" in the above video, click here. Let’s hope Slice gets more lines of dialogue in the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter. Speaking of which…

(Diego Sanchez vs. Clay Guida)

The moment of impact is never flattering. Here are 21 examples of the special look a just-punched fighter gets that says "I may have suffered a minor stroke, please help." (Not to be confused with bitter beer face.) Lots more after the jump…

(Victor Valimaki vs. Alessio Sakara)

(Georges St. Pierre vs. Thaigo Alves)

(Props: Spike.com.)

With The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights kicking off eight days from now, Spike has released this eight-minute taste of the season premiere. As soon as Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans show up on screen, the jibber-jabbering begins. Evans says that Rampage is too slow, and his big head is too easy a target. Rampage says that Rashad’s last fight proved he has no chin, and he ain’t fought nobody. Then, 15 of the castmembers walk in, and holy crap is Marcus Jones a large man. Dana White comes in to introduce a steely-eyed Kimbo Slice, who seems quite aware of the target on his back. Though Brendan Schaub doesn’t approve of Slice’s presence ("when he walked in, it was kinda like the sheep entering the room with a bunch of wolves"), Rampage claims first-pick dibs on him — and that’s just fine with Rashad. Watch how the team picks play out next Wednesday (9/16) at 10 p.m, directly following UFC Fight Night 19.

(Props: Spike via BloodyElbow)

Spike TV has released a whole mess of interview clips featuring the stars of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, which premieres September 16th after UFC Fight Night 19. The clip at the top is your standard Rampage vs. Rashad gum-flapping session, with Quinton Jackson saying that the Team Rashad heavyweights are "lil’ bitty," "garbage," and "booboo." (?) Meanwhile, Rashad predicts a lot of tantrums from his rival. The second video reveals something interesting that I guess we should have seen coming — Evans’s "assistant coach" will be none other than game-plan master Greg "Yoda" Jackson. Once you hear Greg talk about "personal growth plans" for each fighter, it’s hard to imagine how Team Rampage will compete in the mental game.

Now let’s check in with some of TUF 10‘s heavyweight hopefuls…

(Props: MMA Scraps)

We’re less than two months away from the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, and it’s hard not to get excited about the first brief shots of Kimbo Slice walking out to the TUF cage and pacing around before a fight, with Rampage Jackson possibly in his corner (see the -00:09 mark). Plus, the fact that Jackson and Rashad Evans will hate each other’s guts from day one could bring back some of the Tito vs. Ken magic of season 3. So far, everybody involved is playing it very close to the vest in regards to how the fights played out this season. But the interview after the jump may suggest that Slice shook off the haters and did, at the very least, aight.

Behold, the trailer for Blood and Bone, which co-stars Kimbo Slice, Gina Carano, and Bob Sapp. According to ScreenJunkies, "The film tells the story of Isiah Bone, a man fresh out of prison who enters the Los Angeles underground street fighting scene in order to bring down a local mob boss because God told him to." Let the Oscar buzz begin…

("Yeah, the sushi did taste a little funny. Why do you ask?" Photo courtesy of the Las Vegas Sun.)

Some choice quotes from recent interviews promoting The Ultimate Fighter 10: Heavyweights, which premieres September 16th…

Kimbo Slice on piss-soaked fruit trays: "(If someone pulls a prank on him similar to stunts from past shows) there’s gonna be gun play, but fortunately for them I couldn’t bring my pistol. That’s a whole another level. Silver bracelets (handcuffs) if you feel me."

Kimbo Slice on the possibility of being ejected from the house for fighting: "I’m a fighter, dude. I’m not gonna have a motherfucker disrespect me, in no case whatsoever…I’mma be me and I’m gonna stand my ground to the fullest…I wouldn’t want to get thrown out that way. [But] if that becomes my only fight then god damn we gonna fight."

Roy Nelson on Kimbo Slice: “Ability-wise, he’s probably one of the better fighters there.”

(Judging from the jersey colors, it’ll be Team Black vs. Team Black. Subtle. Photo courtesy of Spike. Click for larger image.)

Spike TV revealed the complete cast of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights this afternoon via press release. Here’s who will be bunkin’ up in the TUF house:

Zak Jensen – standout wrestler at Augsburg College
Marcus Jones – former 1st round NFL draft pick who had a six-year career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Scott Junk – Division II All-American football player at Southwest Oklahoma State and fought in UFC 76.
James McSweeney – former international kickboxing and Muay Thai champion
John Madsen – defeated Brock Lesnar in a high school wrestling match
Matt Mitrione – played for New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings
Roy Nelson – former IFL Heavyweight Champion
Demico Rogers – high school football and wrestling star
Brendan Schaub – played for Buffalo Bills and Arena Football’s Utah Blaze
Darrill Schoonover – decorated Army veteran
Wes Shivers – former member of the Tennessee Titans and Atlanta Falcons
Wes Sims – fought two heated battles with former UFC champ Frank Mir at UFC 43 and UFC 46
Kimbo Slice – former EliteXC heavyweight contender and YouTube sensation
Abe Wagner – played linebacker at Michigan Tech and has a degree in mechanical engineering
Mike Wessel – UFC veteran and former strength and conditioning coach at University of Arkansas
Justin Wren – All-American high school wrestler

Kimbo wants his belt and flexes his moob. Be afraid; be very afraid.

(Careful, Shaq, that’s no cardboard cutout. Image courtesy of The Baltimore Sun.)

We’d take this with a grain of salt until the UFC makes an official announcement, but the usually-accurate U.K. paper The Sun says it has the names of all 16 castmembers for the next season of The Ultimate Fighter. (Props to TheGarv for the tip.) Unfortunately, there are no more shocking additions — no Lashleys, no Petruzellis, no Quinns — just the usual gang of up-and-comers trying to make a name for themselves. We already knew that Kimbo Slice, Roy Nelson, Wes Sims, Marcus Jones, Brendan Schaub, Matt Mitrione, and Wes Shivers scored bunks in the TUF house. So who else is gonna be hunting for that six figure contract? Here’s the lowdown:

(Whoever does Kimbo’s manscaping is a genius. More chest-hair photoshops right here.)

From MMA Weekly:

“He came in hungry. In my eyes, he came in hungry like he was before the Tank Abbott fight. It was a pleasure for me to see…We sparred every single day. We did not do that in the past. Because he had so much to learn, so many more technical things that Bas was showing him, he really didn’t have time to spar…As far as what happened before, he’s just got to take his loss and move forward…I told him the best revenge is success. He needs to go out there and show all those people that don’t like him and talk bad about him, even Dana White, go out there and be successful and everybody will forget all those things that happened to him. The biggest thing is that he’s mentally there, and he’s ready to go."
— Boxing coach Randy Khatami discusses his reunion with Kimbo Slice after a six-month layoff. Kimbo had stopped training at Elite MMA with Khatami after a falling-out with the gym’s co-owner Bas Rutten. By the way, rumors of more confirmed TUF 10 castmembers are coming out of the woodwork, including Justin Wren and "Big" Jim York.

(Don’t fear the belly; fear the consequences.)

Kimbo Slice’s chances of winning season ten of “The Ultimate Fighter” just got a little worse, because according to MMA Madness former IFL heavyweight champion Roy “Big Country” Nelson joined the cast of the show, which began filming last week.  Those of you didn’t watch a lick of the IFL might remember Nelson from such bad referee stand-ups/devastating knockouts as his loss to Andrei Arlovski on the same EliteXC card that produced the StandGate incident.  After that Nelson lost a very close decision against Jeff Monson at March Badness, bringing his pro record to 13-4.

(Props: "ZzFDKzZ" on the UG)

Holy crap, you guys…this is really happening.

TUF 10 is scheduled to premiere September 16th, directly following UFC Fight Night 19.

(Marcus Jones vs. Eduardo Boza, 11/10/07)

Though the UFC is keeping the cast of TUF 10 under wraps for the most part, MMA Junkie is reporting that four of the 16 heavyweight hopefuls did time in the NFL before taking up fighting. Here’s a cheat sheet:

Marcus Jones: First-round draft pick for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1996; spent six seasons as a defensive tackle, then moved to the Buffalo Bills for two years but didn’t play in the regular season. Training out of Gracie Tampa with Rob Kahn, the 35-year-old made his professional MMA debut in October 2007, and now holds a 4-1 record, with all fights ending in the first round.

In this CageWriter video from an Ultimate Fighter media day held yesterday in Las Vegas, UFC prez Dana White gives a few more details about the signing of Kimbo Slice and his future with the organization. Notably, Dana repeats his assertion that Kimbo’s TUF contract will be the same as everybody else’s, but adds that it will be "a lot fucking different" if he actually wins the show. He refutes the theory that Kimbo will be protected in any way in the matchups or saved for the later episodes, and says that theoretically he could be picked first to fight. Also, Icey Mike is one of the smartest guys he’s met in this business, apparently.

After the jump: Quinton Jackson says he doesn’t trust his temper around Rashad Evans and hopes he can get through TUF 10 without going to jail. Plus, day 2 of Dana White’s WEC 41 blog, in which DW tries to get predictions on the Faber/Brown match from some of his fighters — like many casual MMA fans, Wanderlei Silva and Rampage aren’t even aware that it’s happening — then Dana tries one of those soul handshakes with Rashad and calls him "homey."

Well that sure didn’t take long.  Less than twenty-four hours after we posted Joe Riggs’ comments about Phil Baroni’s past and possibly present steroid use, Baroni has fired back hard in an interview with Cage Writer’s Steve Cofield.  The steroid accusations make Baroni so mad that he comes back after his shower to talk more shit on Riggs, making an issue out of “Diesel’s” own history with drug use after saying that Riggs "crossed the line."  Combine that with the uncomfortable sexual remarks peppered throughout this video, and Baroni admitting that even he doesn’t know where his rants are going sometimes, and you have yourself just another fun day inside Xtreme Couture.

After the jump, Kimbo Slice makes his first appearance on a Dana White vlog, and we suddenly look like some real prescient motherfuckers up in this piece.

(Props: CageWriter)

From Dana White’s appearance last night on the Carmichael Dave Show, in which DW discussed the Kimbo situation for the first time:

"We shot episode one today. He walked into the gym and was, ah…lemme tell you what, he was pretty serious. He wasn’t messing around, he wasn’t joking. He wasn’t laughing. I don’t think he’s a big Dana White fan, either. You know, how could you be after all the things that have gone back and forth? So we’re gonna find out this season if he’s for real or not…

I said a lot of things about this guy, and I’m gonna tell you now, just like I would, I’ve got nothing but respect for him. This guy stepped up and he wants to fight on The Ultimate Fighter. And he’s dead serious about winning this thing too."

(Immediately after reading the news, I searched for this music video on YouTube and cranked my speakers to maximum volume. All props to TheGarv.)

Oh sweet Jesus, thank you Jesus, my prayers have been answered. Yahoo! has the exclusive:

Ah, the freak show.  Where honest competition meets the insatiable human desire to see something weird, typically in Japan.  In light of the events at this week’s Dream "Super Hulk" tournament, we thought we’d take a look back and count down the ten craziest, most outlandish freak show fights in MMA history.  Some are bizarre enough to be fun.  Some are just horrible.  At least one is actually kind of good.  All are totally insane.  Enjoy.

#10: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Zuluzinho
Pride Shockwave 2005, 12/31/05

Zuluzinho (real name Wagner da Conceição Martins, which explains why he goes by Zuluzinho) got his shot at Fedor for two reasons: 1) he is the son of the now legendary Zulu, the Brazilian beast of a man who should be familiar to anyone who has seen “Choke,” and 2) because at 6’7” and nearly 400 pounds, he’s a big, scary-looking fat dude.  What he isn’t is quality competition for Fedor, and that’s why he got the fight on December 31.  Everyone knows Fedor loves to beat a freak’s ass to ring in the New Year, the bigger and freakier the better.  

Just in case there was any doubt that this was an almost criminal mismatch, Zuluzinho erased it by going down with the second punch thrown in the fight.  We like to think that as he was falling time slowed down like in the movies and Zuluzinho allowed himself to wonder just for a moment, ‘Is there a chance that the Pride matchmakers haven’t been taking me seriously?’

(Kimbo poses with five of the college students he tutors. Photo courtesy of sobehot.com.)

As you’ve surely noticed, Kimbo Slice has been laying low since his embarassing loss to Seth Petruzelli at EliteXC: Heat. And though he would have been an excellent addition to DREAM’s Super Hulk Tournament, Kimbo’s days as an MMA fighter might be over for good. Last week, MMA Fanhouse reported that the YouTube-brawler-turned-MMA-sideshow is no longer contractually tied to Strikeforce, and now the Sun Sentinel is passing along this bit of news about Slice’s athletic future:

(Friends forever? Photo courtesy of AllElbows.com)

It’s hard to even get up the energy to mock Jared Shaw anymore.  He’s just so damn irrelevant.  But in talking about the role Kimbo Slice’s loss to Seth Petruzelli played in EliteXC’s collapse, he summed up the company’s fundamental failures without even realizing it:

"I stick up for him a lot because we put so much weight on his shoulders because we had to, we needed a face. No, we didn’t expect him to be the world champion. We knew if he fought the kind of fighters that were at that level that his chances of winning were probably slimmer," said Shaw. "But you’ve got to throw somebody up there as the best in the world, because you’ve got to put a face on the company. And that’s not to say he can’t become one of the best fighters in the world, cause he’s an athlete, he has talent, but that was the situation we were up against."

(Excellent use of the ‘Rogers, you a hater!’ sample here.)

After sitting out for nearly a year following the collapse of Pro Elite and the ensuing sticky contract situation, Brett “The Grimm” Rogers finally gets back into action this weekend as he takes on Ron “Abongo” Humphrey in Strikeforce.  Despite his undefeated record, Rogers may be best known for his feud with EliteXC poster boy Kimbo Slice (see also: this awesome video).  In this exclusive interview, Rogers talks about that bad blood, his frustration with Elite XC, and his plans for taking over the Strikeforce heavyweight class.

Your last fight was in May of 2008, and since then you’ve been waiting around for another fight, first with EliteXC, and now with Strikeforce.  Are you concerned that all the time off, all the contract stress, may have made you rusty or affected your timing?

I’m more eager than anything.  I’ve had a lot of time to think about things, and now I’m just ready to go.  It’s time for me to go out there and show off, once again.  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who bumped into contract conflicts over it.  But everything’s squared away now.  I’m just trying to focus on what I have to do this weekend and go out and get a win.

#10: Frank Trigg‘s stunned disbelief
Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

It’s not that Trigg’s reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you’re being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.

#9: Mike Goldberg tells us how precise Anderson Silva‘s precision is

The answer: Really. It’s really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it’s time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter’s arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we’ll send you a t-shirt.

#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography 
K-1′s World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08

(Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)

Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It’s not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which…

A little over a year ago an improbable but potentially beautiful rivalry was born when Brett Rogers stepped up to the podium at an EliteXC post-fight press conference to inform Kimbo Slice that his performance against James Thompson was “garbage.”  This led to the infamous, ‘Rogers, you a hater!’ melee, and left most of us assuming that EliteXC would match these two big men up against one another they first chance they got in order to capitalize on the heat.

But what we failed to take into account was that EliteXC was run by morons, so that fight didn’t happen.  Now Rogers is getting back into action on April 11, and FiveOuncesofPain reports that his opponent will be Ron Humphries (5-0) who supposedly fought on that “Iron Ring” show on BET that I didn’t watch beyond the first episode.

So all right, not exactly a marquee matchup, but maybe they plan to build Rogers and Kimbo back up again and then throw them in the mix together later on, right?  Maybe, but Kimbo seems to have other ideas.

(Rogers vs. Murphy at EliteXC: Primetime, 5/31/08)

With a proposed fight between Jake Shields and Joe Riggs scrapped from Strikeforce’s April 11th event due to Shields being tapped to headline their May show, there was a spot that needed to be filled on the "Shamrock vs. Diaz" supporting card. FiveOuncesofPain reports that EliteXC vet Brett Rogers has been asked to step in against an opponent to be named soon. Rogers’s return to competition will come nearly a year after his last fight — a 61-second knockout of Jon Murphy (see above) in the first live MMA fight on network television.

Following that match, the undefeated Team Bison product called out Kimbo Slice for his garbage-ass performance (which led to a brief Internet trash-talk war), and was supposed to take on Paul Buentello at an EliteXC event in November. Unfortunately, the promotion fell apart before that event could take place and Rogers has been inactive since. Whoever gets the Grim next month had better protect his neck — all eight of Rogers’s wins have come by stoppage due to strikes in the first round.

MMA Fanhouse adds that Randy‘s third wife Kim "Sugar Free" Couture will be returning to the Strikeforce cage for their May show, also against Unknown Fighter. When we last saw Kim, she was kicking the tar out of Lina Kvokov at Strikeforce: Destruction in November. It was later discovered that Kvokov was actually a spectator who had mistakenly entered the cage on the way to the bathroom. But hey, a win is a win, and Couture’s first-round TKO increased her pro-record to 1-1. As for the real star of women’s MMA, Gina Carano, she and Strikeforce are still in negotiations, with league boss Scott Coker recently comparing her to a contract hold-out at a pre-season training camp. That’s…encouraging?

(Dignity is spelled, "K-I-M-B-O.")

Remember when we posted this picture and wondered aloud, ‘WTF?’  Well, Fightlinker has discovered the answer and it has left us exclaiming ‘WTF!?’

Turns out the picture was from a porn movie that features a cameo from Mr. Kimbo Slice.  The title of this porn movie is “Farold & Fumar Escape to the Bottomless Party” (link is obviously NSFW, unless you work at Hustler, and if you do, are you guys hiring?).  It is a predictably half-assed rip-off of “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay,” which is itself already a half-assed attempt at a sequel to a half-assed attempt at a movie.

Kimbo plays a Gitmo guard by the name of Big Bud.  We know this because he shows up on screen and says, “What’s up bitches?  Hey bitches, I’m Big Bud.”  And his delivery is bad even for a porn movie.

Yeah, I think it’s safe to say Kimbo ain’t getting that part in the A-Team movie.  But the porn rip-off of the A-Team movie (entitled “Anal Team,” obviously) he’s a shoe-in for that.

(Props: CageToday and "Juggo")

Our bro Ariel Helwani has landed his first big "get" at Versus.com — Jared Shaw, the stomach-tattooed uber-douche who acted as EliteXC Vice President during his father’s ill-fated promotional reign with the company. We scanned the interview hoping to find a quote in which Jared referred to himself in the third person, and Young Shaw did not disappoint. But before that, we were saddened to see $kala’s negative take on MMA blogs. (And after all we’ve done for you!) The whole thing is worth reading, but for now, check out this excerpt:

(Props: World of MMA)

File under: Things that would be kind of amazing, but don’t have the slightest chance of actually happening. In this quickie interview with Fabricio Werdum, the former UFC heavyweight says his next fight will be for Strikeforce, likely in May (cool!), and his opponent "is possible, maybe, Kimbo" (oh no!). Throwing Ferg against a seasoned killer like Werdum seems to contradict Scott Coker’s previously stated plan to build Slice back up slowly, so we’re raising an eyebrow at this one. But for the record, Fab says that his gameplan would be to take Kimbo down and submit him. Smart thinking, player; you don’t want none of Kimbo in a stand-up war.

Below: Versus chose not to show the direct aftermath of Damacio Page’s Knockout of the Night over Marcos Galvao at WEC 39, and with good reason — Galvao was completely stiffened after the KO, and then suffered a brief seizure. Check out the gruesome fan-shot video below. Fortunately, Galvao was quickly released from the hospital with no apparent injuries, but it was a scary moment for the fighter and his supporters.

(Props: Fightlinker)

("Say ‘Seth Petruzelli’ again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherfucker." Props: The Garv. Click for larger version.)

I wish I had the backstory to this photo, but I don’t. Maybe it’s part of a screen test for the upcoming movie remake of The A-Team, which still doesn’t have a cast. Maybe Kimbo is just transitioning to a new line of work (and if so, best of luck, Ferg). Who knows. The Internet sometimes creates things on its own without any real explanation. If you have an insight, let us know.

(War Machine slips into a brief trance.  This is why we say no flash photography around him, people.)

- Competing at last night’s XMMA event in Montreal, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver earned a submission victory over previously unbeaten Guillaume “El Toro” Delorenzi via rear naked choke.  When reached for the comment, the citizens of the world replied, “War Machine?  That guy who threatened the president on MySpace?  He fights?”

- Mike “Quick” Swick will face Ben Saunders at UFC 99 in Germany, according to Five Ounces of Pain.  Saunders last competed against Brandon Wolff, the fighter War Machine refused to face due to fears that he might be both good and relatively unknown, thus earning his dismissal from the UFC.  Using his height and a series of brutal knees, Saunders made quick work of Wolff at "Fight for the Troops."  Now he gets Swick in Germany.  Why not.

- After insisting that he’s been in negotiations with Strikeforce to give this MMA stuff a try, it seems as if Hasim Rahman is even more full of shit than we suspected.  Strikfeforce’s Mike Afromowitz told MMA Fanhouse there has been “no dialogue” with Rahman or his manager about a fight with Kimbo Slice, as Rahman’s manager had claimed.  Maybe by ‘talking to Strikefore’ he really meant ‘watching old Strikeforce fights on the internet?’  As for Kimbo, Afromowitz described those talks as “ongoing.”