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Tag: Kimbo Slice

CagePotato Presents: 10 MMA Fights You Wish You Never Saw

tag team mma
(The problem with American MMA fans is that they don’t understand the tag-team ground game enough to appreciate it.)

BY MATTHEW “THE FIGHT NERD” KAPLOWITZ

We all have that one friend who still just doesn’t get MMA. You tell him how safe it is, he says he doesn’t believe it since you can punch a dude on the ground. You tell him there are rules in place to keep everyone healthy, he says he doesn’t believe it since you can punch a dude on the ground. See a trend developing? No matter what you say, this person just never understands. Part of it might be because of the numerous videos that highlight brutality or generally idiocy in the sport, and of course those are the videos that get traffic — not the ones that showcase good sportsmanship and quality fighting. I blame “America’s Funniest Home Videos” for this obsession with schadenfreude.

These are fights that your friend who hates MMA references to remind you of how horrible he thinks the sport is, and he could have a point with some of these when taken out of context. These fights make you ashamed to be an MMA fan; some for how strangely they turned out due to circumstances, and others for how damaging they were for the whole of the sport. Just a warning to you: This list might start off jovial, but it will take a sharp turn for the serious as we get closer to the bottom. So let’s dive into this cesspool that is teeming with the lowest common denominator and take a look at 10 MMA fights you wish you never saw, and more importantly, that you may wish never existed in the first place.

10. Kimbo Slice vs. Houston Alexander

The man billed as “The Youtube Sensation,” backyard-brawler-turned-MMA-fighter Kimbo Slice made a splash in EliteXC, until he was jabbed to death by Seth Petruzelli in the appropriate finale for that company. No one knew what would happen to Kimbo, and questioned if he would enter boxing, K-1, or return to MMA. We were soon given an answer when the Florida-native popped up on the tenth season of “The Ultimate Fighter.” Now, we would really see if he was UFC material by working his way up against other fighters vying for the top spot.

And hey, turns out Kimbo was not UFC material as he was defeated in the first round of the tournament by Roy Nelson. Still, people swooned over Kimbo saying he was given the hardest fighter in the house. Inevitably, Kimbo was granted a second chance at the TUF 10 finale, getting a fight with equally disappointing Houston Alexander, who had built up a reputation for having great hands and little else. It made perfect sense to book these two together, in hopes that one would knock the other into a time when ProElite meant something other than floundering stock prices.

Instead of fireworks, the match fizzled out and dragged out to a dull decision, with Alexander doing little more than throwing some leg kicks and Kimbo being the one to push the fight. Alexander, who was brought in for this one fight after three losses in a row, was cut and Kimbo was cut one fight later after a beatdown courtesy of Matt Mitrione. The moral of the story here — sure, street fighting is fun to watch, but does that equate to being an MMA fighter? It could if they actually trained. Slice was an example of the hype machine gone overboard, and there is a reason why we have not seen a street fighter pushed like that since.

9. Tag Team MMA

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Top Ten American Freak Show Fights That Were Actually Good


(UFC 3′s Emmanuel Yarborough and Miley Cyrus: They may seem like a strange pairing at first, but then you spend some time with them together and you’re like “okay, I totally get it now.”)

By Matthew “The Fight Nerd” Kaplowitz

Japan has brought us so many great imports, be it giant robots, cartoons about ninja children dressed in bright colors (which sort of defeats the purpose of being a stealthy ninja), tentacle rape, and Pocky. Truly, their greatest offering to America has been the freak show fight. As we discussed last time, Japan was the country that legitimized the art of pitting two mismatched opponents in a ring and convincing us that this was the greatest thing since Steven Seagal invented the front kick.

If there’s one thing we Americans don’t like, it’s being shown up by a foreign land. So it was just a matter of time before an American promoter stood up and said, “You know what? I want to see a man that weighs a quarter of a ton fight a dwarf!” And that was how our first freak show fight was born. Well, not really, since we have better athletic commissions in America, but after reading this list of the “Top Ten American Freak Show Fights That Were Actually Good,” you might think otherwise. Let’s get it on!

10. Tim Sylvia vs. Wes Sims
Superbrawl 38, 12/12/04



In a rare battle between two giants, 6’ 8” Tim Sylvia stood almost eye to eye with Wes Sims, who had a two-inch height advantage over “The Maine-iac”.  Sylvia had fought another tall man, Gan McGee, the previous year at UFC 44, but this fight is far more entertaining. You would probably expect an evenly contested bout between these two, due to the height and their similarly aggressive tactics (both guys even used the same song for their entrance, go figure). For some reason that will never be known, Sims decided that he was the smaller man in this fight and would fight accordingly.

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Kimbo Slice to Fake-Fight Pothead Sumo Wrestler in Japan Next Month, Obviously

Kimbo Slice Japan pro wrestling Antonio Inoki
("Five…five dolla…five dolla, foot rong." [Ed. note: I sincerely apologize for that awful caption.] / Photo courtesy of sportsnavi.)

His MMA career? Dead in the water. His boxing comeback? Who knows. But the Miami Pound Machine gotta eat. And so, Kimbo Slice has reportedly agreed to perform at an IGF pro wrestling tournament on February 5th in Fukuoka, Japan. His opponent will be Shinichi "Wakakirin" Suzukawa, the marijuana-scandalized sumo wrestler who allegedly went off the script against Mark Coleman last year. (Wakakirin was also supposed to wrestle Bob Sapp at Dynamite!! 2010, but Frankenhood pulled out at the last moment like the professional he is.) And before you ask, yes, Josh Barnett will be part of the tourney as well. 

Note to Kimbo: If you "win" your first match, Antonio Inoki may want to slap the shit out of you in front of everybody. I know, if that happened on a street-corner in Perrine, he would be as dead as yesterday’s chicken. (That’s something that people say, right?) As it turns out, the slapping is actually a sign of respect and well-wishing. Please inform your crew.

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Kimbo Slice Latest False Death Rumor Victim


(We’re just glad that our t-shirt isn’t to blame for Kimbo’s death. We will take credit for this one cursing Gus Johnson’s Strikeforce commentating gig.)

If a mediocre backyard brawler-turned mixed martial artist dies, does anyone in the MMA media notice?

Apparently not.

It seemed that only the mainstream media outlets yesterday picked up on a story of the demise of Miami, Florida resident Kevin Ferguson — which is the legal name of Kimbo Slice. Maybe it was because it wasn’t Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson who had passed away, unless of course he had wifi access in the morgue.

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Kimbo Delays Boxing Debut in Favor of Vacation. Wait, Vacation From What?


(Shaq has always been a sucker for a guy in a Santa suit. PicProps: MMA Digest)

It was with bated breath a few months back that we brought you news that sleazebag promoter and World’s Greatest Dad Gary Shaw would soon be exploring new and interesting ways to get Kimbo Slice knocked the fuck out by transitioning the internet legend/UFC washout to professional boxing. Obviously, that has not happened yet and this week ESPN’s Dan Rafael got tired of waiting. Rafael reached out to Shaw with a courtesy “WTF” call this week and learned that The Sliceman’s pro punching debut has been pushed back to “the beginning of next year” because Kimbo is, uh, on vacation. Also, (and we hope we’re not reading too much into this) it sounds like Shaw is just a little bit pissed off about it.

"Right now he’s vacationing in Florida. He went home for Thanksgiving. His pro debut will be put off until at least the beginning of next year," Shaw says. "He needs more work and more sparring …  I had him in California sparring and in real training … He was given all the tools, but he continues to get offers from MMA and offers to be in movies and it’s hard to keep him focused on training camp. That’s the story more than anything else."

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Caption Contest: Win a ‘Locked Down’ DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack!


(Image courtesy of LionsGate)

As we mentioned in last week’s Most Bizarre Submissions list, the prison-MMA flick Locked Down was just released on DVD and Blu-Ray, and we’d like to give away some copies. (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie yet, but there’s already Oscar buzz around Rashad Evans’s performance. Plus, Kimbo Slice threatens to smush somebody’s shit in at one point.)

Speaking of "locked down," Takeya Mizugaki got LOCKED, THE EFF, DOWN last night at WEC 52 when Urijah Faber caught him in a rear-naked choke, putting him to sleep for an uncomfortably long period of time. A killer photo from the stoppage is after the jump, courtesy of AllElbows/Versus. Come up with a clever caption to the photo, and post it in the comments section below by Sunday night at midnight ET. We’ll post our four favorites on Monday; the winners will receive a Locked Down DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack. Props to LionsGate for making this possible, and good luck to all of you…

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Fine, If You’re Gonna Twist His Arm, Roy Jones Wouldn’t Mind Fighting Kimbo


(“Tapping out is for bitches. Getting *knocked* out is more my speed.” PicProps: ESPN)

So, it takes Roy Jones Jr. all of like five seconds to offer to fight Kimbo Slice during this interview with FightHype.com, after the website calls the former multi-divisional boxing champion this to get “his quick thoughts” on the street fighter/UFC washout making the fulltime switch to pugilism. At least, we think Jones is talking about boxing when he keeps saying he might “give it” to Kimbo. To his credit, Jones seems politely hesitant to fight Slice in the same way a chubby kid says “Oh, I really couldn’t” when you offer him the last slice of pie. Dig it:

“I think it’s a beautiful thing for him to try the sweet science,” Jones says in response to FightHype’s first question where, for the record, they don’t mention anything about him actually fighting Kimbo. “I’d have to see what he’s weighing if he wants me to come in there and give him a try at it. But if he wants it that bad, I might give it to Kimbo. It’s a great opportunity for him. It’s a great fight for Florida.”

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Kimbo Slice to Make a Lot of Money as a Mediocre Boxer


(Video courtesy YouTube/FightHubTV) 

I don’t know if it’s just coincidence, but most of the people involved with mixed martial arts who I can’t stand are either named Gary or Shaw. There’s the obvious Gary Shaw, his son Jared "$kala" Shaw and then there’s Jerry Millen, who changed his name from his given name of Gary because he thought Jer or Jerdog sounded cooler. Seriously.

Anyway, the blobfather of EliteXC and boxing who tried to have his way with Gina Carano on national TV is back talking about how he hasn’t decided if he’s going to screw up start another MMA promotion or whether he’ll just take some fighters with him to compete on one of his boxing cards.

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The ‘Boxing vs. MMA’ Freak Show: A Video Timeline

When James Toney meets Randy Couture at UFC 118 next Saturday, he’ll be attempting to prove the dominance of the "sweet science" over that weird stuff that gay skinheads do. Of course, he won’t be the first pugilist to try to beat an MMA fighter at their own game — boxing vs. martial arts challenge matches have been around since before "Lights Out" was born. Join us as we take a look back at the brave boxers who preceded Toney…and what became of them.

MILO SAVAGE vs. "JUDO" GENE LeBELL
December 2, 1963

Arguably the first sanctioned MMA match in American history, Savage vs. LeBell came together when legendary judoka/actor Gene LeBell answered a challenge from boxer Jim Beck, who claimed that a professional boxer could beat any martial artist. (Yep, they’ve been making the same boast for almost 50 years.) According to LeBell, he was expecting to fight Beck himself in the televised match, but his opponent was switched at the last minute to Milo Savage, a top-5-ranked light-heavyweight who was allegedly wearing brass knuckles under his fingerless speed-bag gloves, and was greased from head to toe. Despite the disadvantages, Gene sunk a lapel choke in the 4th round and put Savage to sleep. But as with most stories involving Judo Gene, the details are somewhat debatable; this Jonathan Snowden article debunks several aspects of LeBell’s version. Still, LeBell vs. Savage deserves credit as the first MMA-style fight on television, and set up a rivalry between boxing and martial arts that’s somehow still relevant today.

MUHAMMAD ALI vs. ANTONIO INOKI
June 26, 1976

It sounded like good, harmless fun — the greatest boxer of all time taking on Japanese pro-wrestling kingpin Antonio Inoki in an exhibition match in Tokyo. But in the days leading up to the show, bizarre rules were added that restricted certain attacks. Most notably, Inoki could only kick if he had one knee on the ground. So, he scooted around the ring kicking Ali’s legs for the entire 15-round duration. Ali only landed six punches the entire fight and went home with two blood clots and an infection. The bout was ruled a draw, and has garnered a reputation as one of the ugliest fiascos in the history of combat sports. Fun fact: The referee of this match? None other than mixed-fighting pioneer Gene LeBell.

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Moosin Will Be Back October 9 With Some Freakshow Co-Main Events


(Eat your heart out, Yamma.)

Well it appears that contrary to popular belief, Moosin MMA may not go the way of the Yamma, just yet.

MMAFighting is reporting that the promotion, which is co-owned and promoted by Eric"Butterbean" Esch and Corey Fischer is planning a second card tentatively scheduled for October 9 in Chicago, Illinois.

According to Fischer, the promotion is in the process of securing a number of main event fights for the card that could potentially include UFC cast-off Kimbo Slice squaring off against "World’s Strongest Man" Mariusz Pudzianowski as well as a battle of awkward gangly brawlers Tim Sylvia and Hong Man Choi.

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