(Rahman snatches the WBC/IBF/IBO heavyweight boxing titles with his fifth-round KO of Lennox Lewis in April 2001.)

According to a new report on Sherdog, former heavyweight boxing champ Hasim Rahman is planning on entering MMA competition sometime this year. Has he joined an MMA camp yet? No. Does he have any grappling experience? No — unless you count the brief wrestling contest he had against Lennox Lewis when they were promoting their rematch in November 2001. But his manager Sandro Gelke seems to have a pretty solid grasp on the sport, so he should be just fine:

After purchasing “select assets” including fighter contracts from Pro Elite last week, Strikeforce quickly went from a surprisingly successful regional promotion to a major player in the MMA scene almost overnight.  In this exclusive interview CEO Scott Coker talks about the deal and the acquisitions, as well as what his organization has planned for its new talent.

CagePotato.com:  Thanks for talking with me, Scott.  Since you purchased the fighter contracts, how has the transition been going?  Do you find that the fighters are eager to fight for Strikeforce now?

I’ll tell you, we’ve had about twenty or so, or about half of the roster, that we’ve reached out to as of this morning and had good conversations about scheduling and match-ups.  I think that, at the end of the day, a lot of these guys just want to get back to work and get back to fighting so they can continue their careers.  So I’d say the transition has been going well.

What about any fighters who might have been hoping to get free of their Pro Elite contracts and sign with the UFC?

I’ve only had that conversation with one fighter.  And we’ve had two or three conversations with that fighter since, and now I think they may be feeling a different way than they were before.  And I can understand the frustration that a lot of these fighters are feeling, because they’ve been out of work for a while.  Not everybody fought on the last show in October.  Some of them haven’t fought since June or July of last year.  

We dealt with that frustration at the very beginning and we understood where it was coming from, but a lot of these guys I’ve known for a long time, their managers are friends of mine, so I think the ice has all been broken.  And the fighter who was originally looking to go to the UFC is now saying, ‘Do you think I could fight by May?’  So I think they see what we’re doing and it’s going to be okay.

(See what you’ve left us with, oppressive gun laws?  Now Kimbo has to use his fists and that other guy, well, he just has to pretend.)

‘Sup, Potato Nation.  As many of you have noticed, discussions are popping off in the forums, and there is a surprisingly small amount of stupid bullshit being contributed to said discussions.  Well, at least that’s the case before Kadumel shows up (jokes! we love you Kadumel, but we also love busting your chops. it’s a mean-spirited love, like the one between your parents).

For those of you who haven’t realized what kind of awesomeness you’re missing out on in the forums, we thought we’d take the opportunity every so often to point you to an interesting thread.  This week’s best topic so far, courtesy of Drew, who suggested it and Sarah, who did something about it, is: Who is your guilty pleasure fighter?

You know, the guy who isn’t the best in his weight class, who has obvious problems of one sort or another, and who you might not even admit to liking lest you be mocked by MMA snobs everywhere.  But dammit, you love watching the guy in much the same way you love watching “7th Heaven.”

Drew got the ball rolling by admitting that his guilty pleasure fighter is Kimbo Slice.  And you know, we think that’s…brave?

(Will brawl for food.)

Now that Strikeforce is getting its Pro Elite ducks in a row, we’re all wondering what, if anything, they’ll decide to do with Kimbo Slice.  He was an undeniable draw for EliteXC, but he also came with a hefty price tag that was maybe, just maybe, not justified by his performance in the cage, particularly in his last fight against Seth Petruzelli.

Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker seems sympathetic to the plight of the internet brawler, but perhaps not so much that he’s willing to keep paying him the six-figure salary Pro Elite did:

“I think that if you look back at the past, he could have been built up to have the fights that he needed to face the Seth Petruzellis of the world and be successful, but he wasn’t given the opportunity,” said Coker. “When I look at Kimbo, I don’t look at it as his fault. He was in a ‘no win’ situation.”

Kimbo’s manager, “Icey” Mike Imber, indicated that while he wasn’t enthusiastic about a pay-cut for his fighter, he’d consider it rather than keep him out of action indefinitely.  But one thing’s for sure, Bas Rutten will not be training Slice.  Ever.

(More headkicking in store for Shamrock in ’09?)

Ever since Strikeforce purchased “select assets” from Pro Elite we’ve been wondering a) which select assets, and b) what the hell does he plan to do with them?  In an interview with USA Today, Coker inched closer to answering those questions, saying he’s spoken with 10 Pro Elite fighters and only one of them has tried to renegotiate his deal (we assume this was Kimbo Slice insisting he take a pay cut and be place on the untelevised undercard).  

Coker also said he “would like to invite K.J. Noons to fight [Strikeforce lightweight champ]" Josh Thomson, and added that he’s in talks with Noons’ agent, Mark Dion, to make that happen. 

You’ll recall that Noons essentially turned his back on EliteXC when they tried to make him fight Nick Diaz on CBS and Noons was unhappy with the payscale and with rematching Diaz in general, who was slated to make more than him despite losing the first meeting due to a cut stoppage.  Thomson is a quality, name opponent, and if Noons decides he doesn’t want to fight him either, we in the MMA world would probably do well to forget about “King” Karl altogether and let him box his little heart out.

As for other fights on Coker’s mind right now…

(Eric Pele gets ready to hand Antonio Silva his only career loss at a Bodog Fight event in December 2006. Four months later, Pele got his ass kicked by Aleks Emelianenko. You do the MMA-math.)

Though they don’t offer much in the way of sources or details, Fighters Only Magazine just published this juicy rumor:

In my opinion, both Silva and A. Emelianenko sit just outside the heavyweight top ten, so a match between them would be both exciting and meaningful. It’s been too long since either man has faced high-level competition, and the fight makes logical sense: the guy who’s exiled from the U.S. because of a steroid suspension facing the guy who’s exiled from the U.S. because of NOT HEPATITIS. (Though let’s be honest, if Aleks’s last-minute dropout from "Banned" was simply a case of late paperwork, don’t you think he’d get his shit together in time to be on the"Day of Reckoning" card?) Make it happen, Sengoku equivalent of Dana White.

Also mentioned in the Fighters Only article was Bigfoot’s recent rant on the Brazilian MMA TV show Brasil Combate regarding the marquee heavyweight in his old fight organization, EliteXC:

Ouch. I mean, he’s basically saying that Jorge freakin’ Gurgel could beat Kimbo. No word on when/where Mr. Ferguson’s next fight might be, but hey, the dude’s got enough on his plate right now.

(UFC 97: Big Building vs. Lightning Bolt. Tickets now available at ConvolutedMetaphor.com.)

Hey, sorry we haven’t done t-shirt giveaways in a few weeks — that’s on us, player. But there’s been a lot of commenter brilliance happening lately, so let’s do this…

Lysol on "Rampage Pleads Guilty to Reckless Driving…": I want to see two guest lectures in the near future: The Importance of Sleep, Nutrition, and Exercise by Rampage Jackson and Black Belt Jiu Jitsu Grappling by Tank Abbott.

??? on "Kimbo Slice Has a ‘Boxing Machine’":
http://i713.photobucket.com/albums/ww133/CrushCo/Kimbo.jpg
[Ed. note: This comment somehow disappeared from the post, so we don't know who sent it in or what the exact setup was, but it was something along the lines of "Check out the prize I got from playing this game," and it was kind of amazing.]

John Kimble on "This Just In: MMA Is Finished, XARM to Take Over": Lyoto Machida and Kalib Starnes would be awful at this.

And finally, this idiot-savant-like exchange on our current poll:

If you happen to be any of these people (except for the multiple Anonymouses, because if you can’t come up with a clever screen-name, you’re ineligible to win) and you want a CagePotato "Hall of Fame" t-shirt, send your name, size, and address to feedback@cagepotato.com. And have a great day!

(Give it your best shot, but please, no thai-style leg kicks.)

Just when you thought the Kimbo Slice hysteria had died down, more people have figured out how to make money off his likeness.  PrimeTime Amusements has unveiled their brand new “Team Kimbo Boxing Machine.”  

It’s one of those arcade games often found in cheap bars where the object is to hit a speed bag as hard as you can in order to prove your manliness to drunk chicks nearby.  After you hit the bag, a number appears, devoid of any unit of measurement, telling you whether you’ll get laid or not.  Ideally, you will find the number insufficient, and continue pumping quarters into the machine as you become drunker and angrier.  Meanwhile the girls go home with some guys who claim to work on Wall Street.

The fact that Kimbo is not a boxer doesn’t seem to bother the people at PrimeTime Amusements.  Nor are they troubled by the fact that these days “Team Kimbo” probably exists in name only.

I guess you have to strike the merchandising iron while it’s hot.  Though I hear these machines aren’t a great seller because all it takes is a weak jab to put them out of order.  Hi-yo!  Sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.

Fighter of the Year: Anderson Silva


Okay, so all the headlines weren’t positive for "The Spider" this year, but when the worst complaint you can lodge against a guy is that he acted like a jerk in toying with an outclassed challenger, you don’t have that much to complain about.  He’s still the most dominant force in the MMA universe, and that doesn’t seem like it’s going to change any time soon.

Beatdown of the Year: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Tim Sylvia

Fedor Emelianenko vs. Tim Sylvia – Watch more free videos

Thirty-six seconds.  That’s all it took for Fedor to dispatch a former UFC heavyweight champ and earn himself a ride on “the big rollercoasters” in southern California.  A more satisfying and complete destruction you shall rarely see.

Best Pre-Fight Ritual: The Jackson Camp Nipple-Tweak

Yeah, you’re going to look like a creep if you do it.  You’re also going to look like a creep who just spent six weeks in Greg Jackson’s gym and is now fixing to kick some ass.  Rashad Evans claimed UFC gold without it, but given its track record this little ritual probably isn’t going anywhere.

Worst Event: EliteXC Primetime

"That ear popped!"  When this is your main event, you already know you’re bullshit.  When it ends like this on live network TV, the rest of the world knows it too.

Props to CombatLifestyle, Sherdog, UFC.com, Fight! Magazine, TMZ, and the Las Vegas Sun.

#12: Wanderlei Silva celebrates his destruction of Keith Jardine at UFC 84.

#11: Urijah Faber bags himself a couple of sasquatches.

#10: Rashad Evans rushes in to finish an already knocked-dead Chuck Liddell at UFC 88.

#9 (tie): Paul Taylor knocks Chris Lytle’s jaw loose; Taylor gets his foot lodged in Lytle’s mouth.

After the jump: A naked Gina Carano, a punch-drunk Kimbo Slice, and a rather disappointed Joe Stevenson.

(It was totally worth kicking Bill Cosby’s ass to get that sweater.  Photo courtesy of K-1 Fans.)

Just when he thought he had safely escaped to the glorious city of Japan, Kimbo Slice may be finding out that Brett Rogers isn’t the only one who thinks it’d be fun to beat him up.  Nightmare of Battle is passing along a rumor that Melvin Manhoef spotted Kimbo backstage at last weekend’s K-1 2008 Grand Prix and wasted no time shouting out his appeal for Kimbo to, "Fight with me!”

Reportedly some K-1 officials got in between them before anything more happened.  Again, this is firmly in the rumor category at this point, but man would it ever be a fight I’d like to see.  Remember the punch from Seth Petruzelli that dropped Kimbo?  Manhoef throws harder punches in his sleep.  Seriously, he does.  As a kid he was banned from attending any and all slumber parties.  Plus, he uses those “Thai-style kicks” that Kimbo would rather just avoid altogether. 

My guess is that after seeing what he did to Paul Slowinski – who knows a thing or two about this kickboxing stuff – Kimbo wants no part of Manhoef.  Watch it for yourself after the jump, then see if you blame him: 

(Props: MMA Mania)

LOFL, people. Here’s video proof of the verbal gaffe made by Kimbo Slice immediately after he was introduced as a guest-commentator at last weekend’s K-1 World GP. It also gives you a sense of how overbearingly annoying Michael Schiavello is. Imagine being Mike Kogan (the other bald, goateed guy), sandwiched in the middle of these two doofs for like four hours. I have a feeling this isn’t what he had in mind when he entered broadcasting school.

After the jump: Mike Swick hangs out in a Thai snake-pit to fuck with some cobras for no good reason. Thanks to Old, Bald and Irish for the find!

(What a range of honest facial expressions.)

When I first heard that Kimbo Slice would be helping with commentating duties at this weekend’s K-1 World Grand Prix, I immediately wondered where he would fall on the scale of fighters-turned-broadcasters.  Obviously he’s not going to be a Randy Couture or Kenny Florian.  Anyone who saw his dour appearance on Jimmy Kimmel knows that.  But could he maybe be as inept, yet hilarious as the “Rampage” Jackson/Don Frye duo was?

Then I read the official press release and realized one of his broadcast partners will be Michael “The Voice” Schiavello.  Suddenly, it seems like Kimbo is going to be far from the worst sportscaster at the table on Saturday night.   If you don’t know, Schiavello’s an Australian commentator who’s done K-1, Dream, even the Beijing Olympics, and has never shied away from an unfunny quip in any of those jobs.  Check out some of his favorite lines.  As in, his favorite lines that he said, which he was kind enough to compile for us on his official website:

"There are two things I know for sure: Britney Spears will never win Mother of The Year and Albert Kraus didn’t win that fight!"

"Two things I know for sure: we will never beat Amy Winehouse in a drinking contest, and Texeira definitely won that fight."

"He’s been on his back more than my ex-girlfriend."

"He wears more hair product than Bon Jovi."

"He’s proving harder to catch than Osama Bin Laden!"

(A fist-medallion-less Kimbo Slice arrives in Japan for his guest-commentator gig at tomorrow’s K-1 event in Yokohama. Props to FightOpinion.)

It’s Friday, which means it’s time to give away some t-shirts. Covering their torsos with soft cotton this week will be:

xogcx on "Strikeforce Payouts Prove You Can Still Get Your Bread Outside of the UFC": A real Xmas? Not like the time I cut my long hair to buy Kimbo some medallion shine and he sold his Gold fist medallion to buy me a brush for my pretty hair…..we learned a lot of about real love and real WORK!
[Ed. note: O. Henry references are always appreciated on this site.]

Poop Chute on "WEC 37 Liveblog: Small But Mighty": There’s another championship match happening tonight: My Hand vs. My Penis. It’s their 103,767th rematch. I always win. Except for those three "no contests".
[Ed. note: I just checked the Sherdog Fight Finder profile for Poop Chute's hand. Those three no-contests were due to unintentional eye-pokes.]

Mr. xogcx and Mr. Poop, please send your real names, addresses, and sizes to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll send you those shirts right away. Bro-hugs to all our brilliant commenters. (Even you, anonymous!)

(You didn’t buy that plane ticket for Japan yet, did you?)

Five Ounces of Pain reports that Pro Elite could be very close to a sale of the company that might potentially revive MMA on CBS and Showtime, while at the same time putting the kibosh on the free agency plans of EliteXC fighters.  Apparently it’s down to three potential buyers, one of which is being led by King of the Cage promoter Terry Trebilcock (guess that Booyaa Fightwear ban makes a little more sense now, eh?), though the identities of the other suitors are still a mystery.  

The most likely buyer at this point is described only as “a company with over a billion dollars in annual gross revenue that also is a recognizable name.”

Just shooting in the dark here, but I’m going to say it’s Starbucks.  I heard they want to release a new specialty drink, the Kimboccino Latte.  It costs half a million dollars, but man does it ever go down easy. (Zing!)

Pro Elite is reportedly hoping to make the sale before Christmas, and if they do there’s a strong possibility that a new owner could round everyone up and successfully resurrect the relationship with CBS to get events on network TV again in 2009.  What does that mean for a fighter like Jake Shields, who seemed all but certain that he was bound for the UFC? 

It means that just when you think you’re out, they pull you back in.

(Kevin had made many trips to the pawn shop in his life, but this one was by far the saddest.)

According to Japanese tabloid Tokyo Sports, Kimbo Slice has joined up with K-1, and will appear at this Saturday’s K-1 show in Yokohama to introduce himself to fans; his debut match for the kickboxing organization will be in March, against K-1 heavyweight champion Badr "The Golden Boy" Hari. (You can see some of Hari’s work here and here.)

Look, I’ve never been a Kimbo-hater — the dude has unquestionably strong hands and may still develop into an impressive fighter — but if he could get knocked out by an off-balance jab from Seth Petruzelli, he may literally die in the ring against Hari, who is arguably the most devastating striker in the world right now. If I were Icey Mike, I’d be tempted by the surely-substantial payday, but the kind of loss that Kimbo could take against Hari might permanently relegate him to human-punching-bag status in the fight world. It’s choosing the short money over the long money, basically, and it’s a bad, bad idea. (Not to say that I wouldn’t watch the carnage if this freak-match actually came together, but still…)

In far more legitimate K-1 news, it has been announced that DREAM middleweight GP champ Gegard Mousasi will face four-time K-1 Japan tournament champion and two-time World GP finalist Musashi in a K-1 rules match at Fields Dynamite!! 2008 on New Year’s Eve. The NYE event, which goes down at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan, will be headlined by MMA fights between Joachim Hansen and Gesias Calvancante, and Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Kiyoshi Tamura.

Amazing find by Fightlinker: Here’s some footage of Sean Gannon and Kimbo Slice following their legendary fiasco of a fight that saw Slice eventually succumb to exhaustion. As you can see, both men are near-death after the brawl’s end, with Slice unable to get to his feet and Gannon too gassed to respond to "all the nuthuggas who didn’t think [he] had a chance." Kimbo would go on to earn hundreds of thousands of dollars per fight as EliteXC’s marquee attraction (and the catalyst behind its sad demise), while Sean Gannon would go on to get tooled by Branden Lee Hinkle at UFC 55 and never fight again; which goes to show you never can tell.

Caution: Extreme Boston accents ahead.

(Someone’s nervous. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

- Kim Couture’s opponent misses weight, looks scared. (Xtreme Couture)

- That UFC ad campaign trashing other sports? Yeah, it was bullshit. (Fightlinker)

- “Ninja” Rua says his bro is fixing to mess Mark Coleman up. (Tatame)

- “Human Weapon” arrested for rape, but D.A. won’t file charges. (TMZ)

- “Babalu” Sobral will break his hand on Southworth’s face if need be. (NBC Sports)

- Strikeforce betting odds. Feel like putting a fin on “Bang” Ludwig? (BestFightOdds)

- Joe Riggs only regrets that he didn’t get to smash Kimbo first. (MMA Rated)

- Men 18-34 are stupid, apparently. Bummer. (Holy Taco)

- Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler.” Count me in. (Screen Junkies)

- Wal-Mart’s new CEO shakes things up. (Wall Street Fighter)

- The rare ‘party girl parking garage beatdown’ caught on tape. (Nothing Toxic)

(Anyone want to buy a Kimbo?)

The date is set for the auction of Pro Elite’s assets. On November 17, everything that isn’t nailed down, and probably a bunch of stuff that is, will all be sold to the highest bidder. According to the notice of sale, fighter contracts are just part of what’s on the auction block:

The Collateral includes all contracts between any Debtor and mixed martial arts fighters (including, but not limited to, Kevin Ferguson a.k.a. “Kimbo Slice”, Gina Carano, Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler, Frank Shamrock, Antonio Silva, Brett Rogers, Dave Herman, Scott Smith, Nick Diaz, Cristiane Venancio Justino a.k.a. “Chris Cyborg”, Eddie Alvarez, Yves Edwards and Wilson Reis) and all of each Debtor’s video library, still photographs and home videos (e.g., DVDs and VHS tapes).

VHS tapes?! Say no more.

Is it me, or is there something creepy about the idea of selling fighters at auction? I can’t help but picture poor “Cyborg” Santos standing up there while sweaty-palmed promoters and fetish pornographers bid for her services, all while she struggles to understand what’s going on. You add Frank Shamrock and Kimbo Slice into that scenario and it begins to feel like a nightmare you have after overdosing on cold medicine.

(Props: MMA Rated)

In this video Carlos Arias of the OC Register manages to get former EliteXC VP Gary Shaw talking about the company’s collapse. Shaw says he is “not ashamed” of what he did in his time with EliteXC, and bemoans the “haters” who have been taking shots at he and his son. Speaking of his son, now that EliteXC is done and $kala has lost whatever vague job he held with them, this means he’s out of the MMA biz for good, right? Oh, if only it were that easy.

Says Gary:

“We really truly haven’t spoken about what career path he wants to do. I know he truly loves MMA, so there’s a chance that he’ll want to stay in it. …If it wasn’t for Jared I wouldn’t have gotten into MMA.”

Is that statement supposed to somehow make us hate him less?

After the jump, a special message from Randy Couture.

(Surely Kimbo’s brilliant legal council will find a way out of this mess.)

Remember when Pro Elite ceased operations and filed for bankruptcy? Well, turns out they didn’t. At least that’s their story now. As fighters still under contract with them have been filing notices to get free, Pro Elite has responded by informing those fighters that the company has not declared bankruptcy and that it intends to stage an event in 2009.

A notice sent out to several managers representing Pro Elite fighters states:

“Elite XC and ProElite are currently downsizing its staff in an effort to improve its business moving forward. As this process is implemented, Elite XC cancelled the event previously scheduled for Nov. 8 in attempt to re-schedule another event in early 2009.”

That’s funny, because if I was running an MMA company that was merely downsizing but which intended to continue promoting events, and suddenly there were widespread reports that my company was filing for bankruptcy, I think I might say something to contradict that right away. I might, for example, immediately issue a statement declaring my intention not to just roll over and die. I might even call the people who had circulated those reports a bunch of lying sons of bitches. What I would not do is say nothing at all until fighters started trying to get free of their contracts, and only then come up with an obviously bullshit reason for not releasing them.

As you might expect, no one is buying this explanation.

Sometimes mainstream pop culture is just a tad slow when it comes to keeping up with trends. A little less than a month after his image-shattering loss to Seth Petruzelli, which was followed by the demise of EliteXC, and this week Kimbo Slice‘s name is on everybody’s lips. First it was Tracy Morgan on Conan O’Brien, then Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, and then PTI’s Michael Wilbon dressed up as him for Halloween.

Oh, the cruel irony of it all. Has Kimbo been elevated to true celebrity status due to his mainstream exposure, or is he merely the pop culture joke of the week? At this rate he’s nearing Joe the Plumber status, or that ‘Leave Britney Alone’ guy (that was a guy, right?). Kimbo better hope it lasts long enough to sign a new contract.

(I’m going to guess…Moses the golfer?)

- Michael Wilbon is Kimbo Slice for Halloween. (MMA Fanhouse)

- Back on internet radio, along with Ariel Helwani and Steve Cofield. (MMA Rated)

- And 1 sponsors Nate Quarry. (NBC Sports)

- Anthony Johnson talks eye-pokes, rematch, and Steve Mazzagatti. (FightHype)

- A cartoon eulogy for Jared Shaw. (Fightlinker)

- Vinny Magalhaes tries to talk his way out of being Big Nog’s enemy. (MMA Weekly)

- Nick Diaz files notice to get free of EliteXC. (Gracie Fighter)

- Best lines from the worst movie. (Holy Taco)

- Out of control stock traders. (Wall Street Fighter)

- 16 bad guys we’d rather see win. (Screen Junkies)

- Long-haired kid gets serious ass-kicking. (Nothing Toxic)

(‘Oh, the bruises? It’s not her fault. I just make her so mad sometimes. She’s really very sweet. You don’t know the things she says to me when we’re alone’.)

You think the death of Pro Elite was a great day for MMA, Dana White? There are those who would disagree with you. For example, the newly unemployed Scott Smith who puts a very, very sad human face on the whole thing:

“I’ve been in camp for over eight weeks and I’ve been pushing myself hard. It’s one thing if [it happens] two months out from a fight, but two weeks? It’s devastating. Even if I lost, worst case scenario, (including sponsorship money) I would still be out close to $40,000. Until all the paperwork and everything is done I’m not going to be cleared to fight somewhere else before the end of the year. It’s close to the holidays, I got a mortgage to pay, I’ve got two kids, it’s tough.”

Damn, Scott. Now I just feel terrible. There may have been a lot of small failures and a few colossal ones behind EliteXC’s demise, but you sure as hell can’t put any of it on Smith, whose clashes with Robbie Lawler were among the most memorable (for the right reasons) bouts in EliteXC’s brief history.

So if it ain’t Scott Smith’s fault, dammit, whose fault is it? Former Pro Elite VP of Home Entertainment Turi Altavilla doesn’t explicitly say it was Jared Shaw’s fuck-ups that did them in, but he certainly doesn’t absolve $kala from responsibility either. Apparently after Jared’s father, Gary Shaw, left the company under the condition that his son would stay on, things took a turn for the stupid:

(Yeah, we definitely need to see this again.)

So, the South Florida Sun Suntinel has this story about how EliteXC’s collapse affects South Floridians (thanks for the tip, Fight Opinion), and it contains this rather amazing quote:

Rookie MMA fighter Kimbo Slice is already back in a local gym after his 14-second loss to last-minute replacement and UFC light heavyweight washout Seth Petruzelli in Sunrise.

Slice, who spent Thursday at one of his children’s school career day, is weighing his options with his agent Mike Imber. He may fight on the DREAM K-1 New Year’s Eve show in Japan, possibly a rematch with Petruzelli.

Oh man, career day? Poor Kevlar. I wonder if Kimbo was too embarrassed to talk about MMA following his recent loss, and instead delivered a five-minute speech about what it takes to be a porn company bodyguard.

Dana White‘s not such a bad guy. Despite heaping scorn upon the legend of Kimbo Slice at every opportunity, he’s still willing to give him a job. Or at least he’s willing to give him the chance to prove himself worthy of a job, though he sounds less than optimistic about the bearded one’s chances:

“He can be on The Ultimate Fighter. What’s he done other than get 10 million hits on YouTube, what’s he done to deserve to be in the UFC? Nothing. I don’t consider him a real athlete. He won’t win The Ultimate Fighter. The offer’s out there if he wants to take it, but he won’t win it.”

Nothing like an offer that contains within it a prediction that you will fail should you accept said offer. That’s a great negotiating point to start from.

Slice’s manager, Icey Mike, doesn’t seem eager to take White up on that offer:

(“Is it cool if we just throw wild haymakers at each other?”)

The Florida State Boxing Commission announced yesterday that its 13-day investigation of EliteXC’s alleged fight-fixing discovered no wrongdoing, and the case is now closed. As MMA Weekly reports:

The initial investigation was to determine whether commission rule 548.058, addressing “Sham or Collusive Contests,” was violated.

[FSBC Executive Director Thomas] Molloy interviewed Petruzelli, who said only that EliteXC officials told him to “just do your best.” Petruzelli further stated that the comments he made on a Florida talk radio show implying a fixed fight were “misconstrued” by listeners.

Mr. Molloy subsequently reviewed Petruzelli’s bout agreement and found no evidence of any additional bonuses other than a “win” bonus of $15,000.

Molloy also spoke with EliteXC Head of Fight Operations Jeremy Lappen, members of the Nevada and California State Athletic Commissions, and David “Tank” Abbott about possible wrongdoing in the past. According to Sherdog, Molloy asked if Abbott had been asked to fight in a particular manner, to which he replied, “No, nothing was said.” Of course with Tank, it didn’t need to be. But it seems that since EliteXC isn’t even a functioning entity anymore, the FSBC is content to take Petruzelli and Lappen at their words and move on without doing any real digging.

(‘Hey, just because the company has gone under that doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out, right big guy?’ Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

If you’re wondering why we haven’t heard from Jared Shaw (aka: “little rapper kid”) since the collapse of Pro Elite, there’s a good reason. $kala has not been heard from because $kala does not want to be heard from. He has retreated from the media spotlight, as our friends at MMA Rated learned when they attempted to get him on the phone and instead got this outgoing voicemail message:

“This is the voicemail of Jared ‘Skala’ Shaw. Leave me a message and I will return it at my earliest opportunity. If this is a member of the media, I will not be returning your call. I’m sorry. Namaste.”

Seriously, Jared? Namaste? Does that mean you won’t return calls because you have a yoga class to get to?

Not that I blame $kala for not wanting to talk to the media right now, but it is something of a chickenshit move. Maybe it’s because he knows he doesn’t have any good answers to give. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to hear the inevitable questions about what role his cageside freakout might have played in the whole ordeal, and whether Pro Elite was truly forced to keep him on in order to get his father out. Who knows.

What we do know is that not returning calls isn’t going to keep people from talking about you, so wouldn’t you at least like a chance to give your perspective? Who would have thought that this is how Jared Shaw would go out. Freaking Namaste.

(Jenna, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.)

Holy crap! CagePotato.com turns one year old today, y’all! Many thanks to those of you who have stuck with us since the beginning — or the close-to-beginning, at least — and helped build this little site into what I believe is the most entertaining and energetic MMA community on the Internet. Lots of bigger and badder things to come, so stay tuned and tell your friends. To honor this day, let’s take a trip in the way-back machine, and revisit 25 of CagePotato’s all-time greatest moments. Enjoy…
(BG)

Sylvia’s ego, Franklin’s face get battered at UFC 77 (First-ever post on CagePotato)

The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

Urijah Faber: Hard Out Here for a Pimp (CP’s first original interview)

Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFl World Grand Prix

The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

Blogger Power! UFC Fight Night 13 Stretched to Three Hours (possibly my favorite photo caption, though this one‘s pretty dear to me as well)

“Tappin’ Out’s for *Whores*”: Matt Serra at the 7/11

The Eight Most Insane Victory Celebrations of All Time

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

The 10 Hottest Ring Girls in MMA

Nogueira, Mir to Coach Next Season of TUF (Fowlkes scoops the Internet by a full month)

Dear Guy Attending This Live MMA Event: An Open Letter