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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: Kimbo Slice

Video Hype: ‘Machida vs. Shogun 2′ Extended Preview


(Props: MMAVIDS10)

The UFC’s next pay-per-view card goes down May 8th in Montreal, featuring the light-heavyweight title rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua — both of whom haven’t competed since their first fight last October. This extended preview acknowledges the controversy about the decision, which Shogun lost despite the fact that he clearly landed more strikes. Following two fantastic knockout victories over Thiago Silva and Rashad Evans, Machida’s title reign was immediately put in question after the Shogun fight, and the long layoff hasn’t helped his stock. Once again, he’ll need to convince fans of his merits. And once again, Dana White sells a fight as a matchup between two guys who "don’t like to go to the ground." Well that’s a relief. I wouldn’t want any of that grappling stuff to distract from the kickboxing match I’m paying for.

In the co-main event, top welterweight contenders Josh Koscheck and Paul Daley do battle in what could turn out to be a #1 contender’s match. In fact, there’s a rumor floating around that the winner of this fight will coach opposite Georges St. Pierre on TUF 12. If Koscheck employs his superior wrestling against "Semtex," he’ll dictate the fight. If he lets his ego force him into a striking war with Paul Daley, he could get his fraggle-lookin’ head knocked off. Any predictions on UFC 113′s headlining fights? And what about the TUF 10 castmates match between Kimbo Slice and Matt "Meathead" Mitrione?

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James Toney Cordially Invites Kimbo Slice to Come Get Some

I don’t know what made me think that getting the UFC contract he asked for would make James Toney stop with the YouTube videos. I guess I mistakenly assumed that they were simply a means to an end, which is clearly not the case. This is just something Toney does. He makes videos and calls people out. When it works and he gets what he wants, he must necessarily find something/someone else to call out, and thus the whole drama renews itself.

But I don’t really want to talk about that, nor do I want to talk about why Toney might have decided that it’s in his best interest to focus on Kimbo Slice and not any of the other UFC fighters who might be more eager to welcome him to the Octagon. No, instead I think we should talk about the guy in the glasses standing just behind Toney. That guy, ladies and gentleman, is what a real hype-man looks like.

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Kimbo Slice vs. Matt Mitrione Official for UFC 113 in May

Houston Alexander Kimbo Slice TUF 10 finale
Marcus Jones Matt Mitrione TUF 10 finale

Putting recent speculation to rest, the UFC officially announced yesterday that Kimbo Slice will indeed face off with his TUF 10 castmate Matt Mitrione at UFC 113 (May 8th, Montreal). Slice is coming off a lackluster unanimous decision win against Houston Alexander at the TUF 10 finale, while Mitrione made his professional MMA debut at the same event, knocking out Marcus "Big Baby" Jones in the second round of their fight.

The fact that the Slice/Mitrione match was briefly removed from the UFC’s website, as well as the UFC’s previous vagueness with Mitrione, makes it seem like the UFC was actually considering Kimbo as an opponent for James Toney, but that freak-show will have to wait for another day. At the moment, Toney’s first opponent in the Octagon and the date of his debut are still question marks.

UFC 113 will be headlined by the light-heavyweight championship rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua; the current lineup is after the jump.

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Photo Gallery: 18 Amazing Fighter Fist-Poses

Quinton Rampae Jackson woman mom fighter fist pose
(Looks like somebody took a wrong turn on the way to the Cirque du Soleil show. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Don’t ask us to explain it, but whenever fighters and fans get together for a group photo, at least one person has to raise their fist like a tough guy. But instead of dropping the ban-hammer on this bizarre phenomenon, we decided to compile the most ridiculous, hilarious, and straight-up awesome MMA fighter fist-pose photos that we could find. If we left out any of your favorites, please shoot us some links in the comments section…

Chuck Liddell Michael Clark Duncan fighter fist pose
("Hey, hey, one at a time, I’m not that kind of boy.")

guy on the right GSP Georges St. Pierre Kirik group photo
(Seriously, Guy-on-the-Right. What the hell have you been eating?)

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James Toney Still Has No Idea What He’s Gotten Himself Into

James Toney
(Striking fear in the hearts of buffet owners everywhere.)

Now that James Toney has signed with the UFC and hired a trainer known primarily for his boxing expertise, you might think he’d be hard at work trying to get a feel for this MMA stuff. If this were a movie, this is the point where some inspiring, upbeat music would accompany a training montage that shows Toney’s rapid improvement in the span of just a few minutes. But this isn’t a movie; this is real life. And in real life, “Lights Out” isn’t really that worried about anyone taking him down and laying on top of him.

As Toney told MMAFighting.com, he still has yet to do any actual MMA sparring, but has been shown some “basics” by Juanito Ibarra. He’s also “tried a little kickboxing and wrestling,” but isn’t too concerned since it’s “all hand-to-hand combat.” In other words, don’t even trip. Toney has got this under control, playa.

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The UFC Is Not F*cking Around With Their Strikeforce Counter-Programming

Kimbo Slice porn girls Reality Kings
(I hope you’re working hard, James, because Kimbo is working double-hard.)

It’s not enough for the UFC to simply hold an event the same day their rivals are holding one. No, gentle readers, what Dana White may have in mind is far more savage. In an update on the Strikeforce: Nashville counter-programming situation, Sherdog passes along the following amazing detail:

The venue for the proposed UFC event has not been settled upon, though speculation centers on Vanderbilt University’s Memorial Gymnasium in Nashville.

Tennessee Athletic Commission Executive Director Jeff Mullen says that the UFC has not yet applied for a permit, but if this actually happens, holy shit. This is basically something Keyser Soze would do if he was running an MMA promotion. Again, overall TV ratings would still lean in favor of Strikeforce, but the UFC could steal a lot of the local heat in Nashville depending on who’s on the card. Although the proposed Mike Swick vs. Matt Serra match isn’t happening due to Swick’s impending arm-surgery, Carmichael Dave drops the rumor that James Toney vs. Kimbo Slice is being prepared as the main event for the UFC’s April 17th show.

Kind of short-notice for Lights Out, but it’s not like he was planning on getting his blue belt in BJJ before stepping into the Octagon. He’s working with a fucking boxing coach to prepare for his MMA debut, okay? He doesn’t plan on anybody laying on top of him like a lil’ fag, you feel me? All of this is still unconfirmed, but we hope it goes down, just so we can hear Dana White explain why Dan Henderson vs. Jake Shields is a freak show, while Kimbo vs. Dark Gable is legitimate MMA…

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‘Wrong Side of Town’ DVD Caption Contest: The Winners!

Kimbo Slice MMA UFC pimp funny photoWrong Side of Town Batista Bautista Rob Van Dam Ja Rule DVD

After a week of furious battle, we’re pleased to announce the five winners in our Wrong Side of Town caption contest. Picking up the DVDs are…

Duncdaddyfunk (17% of the vote): Kimbo lures in his prey with a photo op before dunking his tiny hands in gold and making fist necklaces out of them.

ddbissel (16%): I dont like Kimbo being this close to the ground.

Vlad (14%): Say what you will, but at least he’s a more credible opponent than the guys Bobby Lashley’s fighting.

drunkenmime (12%): Miami’s toughest street fighter poses for a picture with Kimbo slice.

CheckHisPee (11%): "Yo little man, do you pooh regular or do pellets be droppin?"

If your name has been called, please send your real name and address to feedback@cagepotato.com, and get ready for an action-packed thrill ride starring two pro wrestlers, a formerly-popular rapper, and whatever the hell an "Omarion" is. Props to Lion’s Gate for the hookup, and thanks to everyone who played!

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‘Wrong Side of Town’ DVD Caption Contest: The Finalists

Kimbo Slice midget fist pose

While we appreciate everybody who entered our latest caption contest, the sad fact is that you can’t all be winners. In fact, we can say right now that all but nine of you are definitely losers. After slogging through over 250 entries, we’ve selected some finalists, which you can read below. Please vote for your favorite in the poll on the right; the top five vote-getters will all score Wrong Side of Town DVDs. So without further ado…

Randle McMurphy: Kimbo and Jared Shaw reminisce about the good old days.

Vlad: Say what you will, but at least he’s a more credible opponent than the guys Bobby Lashley’s fighting.

Duncdaddyfunk: Kimbo lures in his prey with a photo op before dunking his tiny hands in gold and making fist necklaces out of them.

CheckHisPee: "Yo little man, do you pooh regular or do pellets be droppin?"

ddbissel: I dont like Kimbo being this close to the ground.

Contraband: Kimbo takes time out of his training for a quick pic with Shonie Carter’s son.

drunkenmime: Miami’s toughest street fighter poses for a picture with Kimbo slice.

PurplePickle: Choking back tears of joy as the camera flashed, Curtis Sample was ready to let everybody on Facebook know exactly how he rolled.

steampunk22: Don’t FUCK with the Lollipop Guild.

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Reminder: ‘Wrong Side of Town’ Caption Contest Ends Tomorrow!

Kimbo Slice midget pimp

Ay dog, we just wanted to let you know that our Wrong Side of Town DVD caption contest ends tomorrow at noon ET, so go here to throw in your final entries for a chance to win.

Bonus, after the jump: Check out the picture we were almost going to use for this contest, before we came across the above shot of Kimbo and the Pimpmidget. No, this is not another caption contest — wasting company time to come up with one-liners for a ridiculous photo of Aleksander Emelianenko should be its own reward.

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Caption Contest: Win a Copy of ‘Wrong Side of Town’

Wrong Side of Town DVD Bautista Ja Rule Rob Van Dam
(The tag line is "Who wants to die first" — just like that, without a question mark. That’s how you know these guys are serious.)

Don’t ask us where we got them, but we recently came into possession of a box of Wrong Side of Town DVDs, which don’t even hit stores until next Tuesday. (I know, I know, this crazy life we lead.) But instead of flipping all of them on the underground bootleg market, we’re going to skim five off the top and give them to you, our loyal and long-suffering readers. Hit us with the plot synopsis, LionsGateShop.com:

Bobby (Rob Van Dam), a former Navy Seal, seeks revenge by killing a crooked nightclub owner who attacked his wife. The owner’s brother comes after Bobby by placing a massive bounty on his head. Bobby’s only hope will be to enlist his old friend Ronnie (David Bautista) in retaliation efforts. But first he’ll have to repair the falling-out they had years ago. With Ronnie’s help he’ll stand a chance, but ultimately it will be up to him to save his family and escape his death sentence.

To win a copy of the flick, all you have to do is come up with a clever caption to the completely unrelated photo after the jump — which shows Kimbo Slice posing with the World’s Tiniest Pimp — and post it in the comments section below by Tuesday at noon ET. Finalists will be announced later that day. This is your moment, people. Grab it with both hands.

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