(Up next: a real fight, or a shameless hype match?)

What do you do if you’re Pro Elite and you want to distract people from the bad news regarding event cancellations and concerns that you’re on the verge of going under? You find a way to get Kimbo Slice back in the news. That may be why Elite XC is planning to announce Slice’s opponent for the October 4 event on CBS some time at the end of this week or early next week.

Eite XC representatives supposedly said that the organization is considering three possible opponents for Slice, two of which are “big names” within MMA circles. Since Brett Rogers is probably not considered a big name to anyone other than hardcore fans who want to see him test Slice, it’s fair to assume that the other two names belong to older, past-their-prime fighters.

Ken Shamrock has been rumored as a possible opponent for Kimbo, as has Don Frye. We’d like to dismiss that as idle chatter, if only it didn’t sound so much like something Elite XC would do. Brett Rogers has very cleverly put Elite XC in a position where they almost have to give him Kimbo, or at least they have to if they want to have a chance at Kimbo being taken seriously as a fighter on the rise.

Since that seems low on their list of priorities, the only thing stopping them from tossing an aged and battered Shamrock in there is probably availability and/or price. Fortunately for MMA fans, that may be enough to make the Slice-Rogers fight happen.

In other Pro Elite-related news, the brief stock price explosion is now over. The stock fell from $8.00 to $2.75 on Monday, still a small improvement from the $2.50 mark where it jumped up from on Friday. Hope you sold your shares when you had the chance. And by shares we mean that old Camaro that’s on blocks in your front lawn. And by sold we mean had it towed away before those raccoons made it into a permanent home.

(Props: FiveOuncesofPain)

In part one of Nike’s new commercial series “Train Like LT,” San Diego Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson goes to what’s supposed to be Kimbo Slice’s broke-ass backyard and does some training “the old-school way,” which involves bench-pressing air conditioners and leg-pressing a compact car. If part two doesn’t begin with him running the gauntlet that’s at end of this clip, we’re going to be very disappointed. Speaking of Kimbo, he also makes a split-second appearance in this new commercial for Madden NFL ’09.

(Props: MMA Mania)

Also, Rich “Ace” Franklin talks us through his UFC 88 matchup with Matt Hamill in the above clip, acknowledging that he’ll probably be on his back a couple times during the fight. Regarding his permanently blackened eye, Franklin said “Jorge Gurgel only hits me when I deserve it.” That poor, poor man…

(Guess who’s getting promoted to the position of Kimbo’s Official Gold Chain Holder. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

When news dropped that Gary Shaw had resigned from Pro Elite just shortly after everyone within the company, including his son Jared, assured the media that things were just fine and nobody was going anywhere, we naturally assumed that Jared was on his way out too. It’s like when you’re the son of a third world dictator and you get some cushy do-nothing job. When your dad is overthrown by a power-hungry general in a bloody coup, it usually means you’re on the next flight out with a briefcase full of cash or you get killed in your sleep.

But according to new Pro Elite Chairman Charles Champion, whose name is awesome and maybe fake, Jared is going to be sticking around in some capacity:

Jared has been with the company from the beginning. Gary has often said that it was really Jared that brought Gary into it. Jared has continued to work on making matches and continue to promote ProElite and ProElite athletes. He’s continuing to work with the fight team. I haven’t talked to Jared about what he’s going to be doing ten years from now but I have talked to Jared about what he’s going to be doing for the next while with us. He’s enthusiastic and others are enthusiastic about his approach and what he’s doing now, so we think that is all going to work out well.

Seriously? So the lesson here is, nepotism works? Man, this is why I hate learning lessons.

(‘Get your narrow asses into that theater and see my damn movie.’)

I actually wrote that headline about a year ago after suffering through a long bout of insomnia. I was delirious and running around in nothing but a pair of waders and a replica L.A. Rams helmet, and without knowing what the words meant I carved them into the wall of my bedroom with a rusty nail. It was a very dark time for me. Never did I think my prophecy would come to pass. Now I fear I’ve somehow brought this down upon our heads by inadvertently calling upon Gods that are both too powerful and too cruel.

According to media sources, Kimbo Slice and Hulk Hogan are set to co-star in a martial arts children’s comedy entitled, “Kung Fu U”.

It’s about a group of nerdy kids who are sent to a special school (Kung Fu U, we presume) to learn fighting skills that will help them stand up to bullies. Their instructors, played by Slice and Hogan, help them out, and in turn the kids help them by teaching some bullshit lessons about their bullshit lives. And who’s behind this? How about Stereo Vision, which is chaired by “Baywatch” creator David Schwartz, a man who knows better than anyone how to grab onto the zeitgeist and ride it for all it’s worth:

“We’re very happy to have Kimbo Slice co-starring in ‘Kung Fu U.’ He has an enormous media presence, and he’ll fit right in with our star Hulk Hogan, and the other cast members in our made for kids 3D movie. We hope to have ‘Kung Fu U’ in 3D in theatres by the fall of ’09.”

Oh, good. It’s in 3D. For a minute there I was concerned that this children’s movie starring a former pro wrestler and a former bodyguard for internet pornographers might turn out to be a horrible fiasco. But no, 3D. That’s how all the quality films are done. Just look at “Captain EO”.

Aren’t you usually supposed to wait until you’re a top-ranked fighter before you start indulging in the kinds of distractions that will eventually pull you away from the fight game? Isn’t that typically how it goes? Perhaps times have changed. They must have, because for once Hulk Hogan is poised to be the veteran actor on the set. One can only imagine his advice for Kimbo on how to really locate and understand the motivations of your character, brother.

(Maybe some fashion help from TapouT isn’t such a bad idea.)

How timely, considering the premiere of TapouT’s second season on Versus. Now they’re officially sponsoring Kimbo Slice. Peep the press release:

Grand Terrace, CA (July 28, 2008) – TapouT, the premier mixed martial arts apparel, gear and lifestyle brand, announced today that the company will sponsor MMA superstar Kimbo Slice and create a joint apparel line under the TapouT brand. TapouT will be Kimbo’s exclusive apparel sponsor.

“Kimbo is the real deal,” said Mask, TapouT Founder. “He is the ultimate underdog who kept his nose to the grindstone and rose up to become one of the most well-known MMA fighters out there. Kimbo is tough, but full of heart, and we’re excited to take him from the cage to the clothing.”

“I want to thank the whole TapouT FAM for taking an interest in me and team Kimbo,” said Kimbo Slice. Also thank you guys for allowing us to be a part of your FAM… and the tightest gear out there. Hey man, my team is psyched, team Kimbo is psyched.”

Further details on the Kimbo/TapouT apparel line will be announced in the coming months.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who stumbled over the phrase “from the cage to the clothing.” With all his mainstream appeal, could the Kimbo Slice TapouT tee replace the Affliction shirt as the go to gear for the casual MMA douche? Only time will tell, but I’m going to go ahead and say abso-goddamn-lutely.

So Robbie Lawler is clearly not into doing this interview with MMA Rated’s Ariel Helwani. That’s nothing new for the Elite XC middleweight champ. Media shy isn’t quite the term for how Lawler deals with the press. More like media contemptuous. But to hear Ariel tell it, Lawler isn’t the only one who seems unenthusiastic about this event:

We just came back from the EliteXC press conference at the Stockton Arena and the only word that comes to mind is “surprised.”

Surprised that there was virtually no media there. Seriously, maybe a handful…tops.

Surprised that the Shaws (Gary and Jared) were no where to be found. Surprised that no one is willing to give a straight answer as to where they are hiding. Trust me, I asked around. Surprised that there appears to be zero excitement online, around town or even in the local media for this event.

What’s going on here? Elite XC broke a major barrier with their first show on CBS, but now they’re on the verge of their second and already people are treating it like their grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary party. Not that we’re saying this is necessarily wrong on the part of the media or the fans or even the fighters. We can definitely relate to those feelings. It’s just odd.

Is it bad timing, coming on the heels of the biggest MMA weekend of the year thus far? Is it the line-up? The promotion itself? The lack of a big media build-up? Lack of MMA lightning rods like Kimbo Slice and Gina Carano? What’s the deal?

Maybe you’ve forgotten all about this, but Elite XC’s second live event on CBS is this Saturday, headlined by the Scott Smith-Robbie Lawler rematch. While that’s a bout worth getting excited about, the rest of the card really makes you wonder whether we won’t see a tremendous drop-off in ratings and whether CBS won’t rethink this crazy MMA experiment as a result.

It’s not just that the card lacks the mainstream star-power of the first one, though that is indeed the case. It’s also that there are precious few meaningful, competitive matches. Just take a look at the line-up and the betting odds and you’ll see what I mean:

Scott Smith (+180) vs. Robbie Lawler (-220)
Thomas Denny (+450) vs. Nick Diaz (-600)
Nick Thompson (+320) vs. Jake Shields (-400)
Christiane Cyborg (+125) vs. Shayna Baszler (-155)
Justin Eilers (+400) vs. Antonio Silva (-550)
Travis Galbraith (+275) vs. Rafael Feijao (-345)
Brian Caraway (+140) vs. Wilson Reis (-170)

(Props: MMATKO. Fight starts at the 5:34 mark.)

It looks like Robert “Buzz” Berry’s beating last Saturday at the hands of Neil Grove could be his last. Berry (13-8), who suffered a second-round TKO loss at Cage Rage 27 and who has dropped three of his last four fights, announced his retirement last night via the Cage Warriors forums, writing the following:

Just to let you all know I have had to retire. After my fight with Neil Grove I was taken to the hospital and had to have surgery on my face. They have had to put two plates in, one in my cheek bone and one on my eye socket. So that is it, over for me.

Can I take this opportunity in congratulating Neil Grove on the fight and good luck in the future. Thank you to all my camp and other camps for their help over the years in getting me ready for fights. Thanks to all my fans in their support for me, it has always meant a lot. A real big thanks to John Close, he has been a diamond — we have been joined at the hip for a few years. Neil Wain has been a star for me and wish him all the best in his fight in the UFC. Thanks to the guys at Cage Rage for their part in my fighting and to anyone I have missed out: Thank you.

As you can see in the video from the Berry/Grove fight (above), Buzz was on the mat for about three minutes after the loss, in visible pain. Grove’s leg kicks were responsible for breaking Berry down during the fight, but his final flurry of punches turned out to be a career ender for the man who’d previously knocked out Ken Shamrock at Cage Rage 25 in March. With the win, Grove increased his record to 6-1; in the post-fight interview he called out Cage Rage British heavyweight champion Mustapha Al Turk, as well as (who else) Kimbo Slice.

(Shaw offers a financial advice seminar urging fans to invest in track suits.)

On yesterday’s Elite XC conference call Pro Elite Chairman Doug DeLuca was confronted with the inevitable ‘have you guys fired Gary Shaw yet?’ questions that we all knew were coming. You may recall that rumors of Shaw’s demise within the company have been floating around for some time, despite his son Jared’s best efforts to convince people otherwise. DeLuca offered this fairly oblique description of what’s happening with the elder Shaw:

Question: Doug, what is Gary Shaw’s status with this company? Is July 26 the last show he has with EliteXC?

DeLuca: I was waiting for one of those questions and the opportunity to set the record straight. Gary is still very involved with ProElite. Gary and our team from day one at ProElite basically took MMA at our company from ground zero to a huge network success. So, Gary’s got a lot to be proud of in the MMA world. In the process of doing it, as you can imagine, Gary being from the East Coast and we being a West Coast company, took a lot of time from Gary. He was traveling non?stop. It took a toll on his boxing business, which is very successful and it took a toll on his family. To some degree, it took a toll on his health. We collectively made the decision that Gary was going to back off a little bit, kind of take a little bit of a relaxed role as far as being involved front and center, which is a good thing for all those three things, for his health, for his boxing business, and for his family. But Gary is still very much involved and I still talk to him almost every day. He’s still there. Gary’s interest still lies in EliteXC and ProElite, making it a top organization in the world. That’s the status with Gary.

Interesting. So they collectively made the decision that he would fade out of view and not be heard from in interviews or seen on camera. You know, for his health and stuff. So then, what does he actually do for Elite XC these days?

Some of you will look at the above image and start doing joyous cartwheels around the room. Some of you will just see a poster for a local MMA card held at a county fair and say “I don’t get it.” And that’s because you haven’t been introduced to the prophetic glory of Dan Quinn.

For the unfamiliar, Quinn is a 4-4-1 professional fighter who’s had the dual honors of being choked out by Frank Mir and going three rounds with Jason Lambert. As a linebacker at Notre Dame, he once picked Iron Head Heywood out of the air at fourth and inches; it was, in Quinn’s estimation, the greatest stop in college football history. (Quinn was later kicked off the team amid allegations of sexual assault.) He once knocked out five men in one night at Juanita’s in Encinitas, California. He’s discovered the secret of weight loss and tumor-melting, via Stevia and cold fission. And oh yeah, he’s preparing for his first fight since a January ’05 TKO loss to Dan Molina, and will be facing Dave Huckaba, who has knocked out Bo Cantrell twice, once in 26 seconds and once in five seconds.

But those are just facts, and statistics, and they don’t really tell the story of a man. To understand who Dan Quinn really is, you’ll have to watch his shirtless mirror-rants on YouTube.

(Joe Riggs won’t be fighting tonight. Sucks, buddy. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

Yesterday, we passed along a Sherdog report that claimed Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva had agreed to face Sergei Kharitonov in an EliteXC heavyweight title fight. Awesome matchup, right? Unfortunately, EliteXC’s Jared Shaw refutes it, telling FiveOuncesofPain “That fight is 100 percent not happening.”

When asked about whether an opponent was in place for Silva, Shaw indicated that one has been selected that is worthy of fighting for a title but that a deal was in the process of being finalized.

Worthy? Possibly. As worthy as Kharitonov? Probably not. But J. Shaw wasn’t quite finished peeing on our parade. Regarding previous reports that Kimbo Slice was slated to face Brett Rogers in October, Shaw said “A fight could possibly take place between Kimbo and Rogers within the next 12 months,” but nothing was official yet. And as for rumors that Gary Shaw was on his way out of EliteXC, Jared denied those as well:

“I’m not gonna lie to you; the Tim Russert episode really struck a cord with Gary. He has an extensive travel schedule and is a workaholic much the way Tim was… And (the) truth is he’s getting up there in age. So Gary is at a point now where he just can’t keep up the constant back and forth to California from his home (in New Jersey). And so he’s just taking a step back in his life, not in the company (and) not being pushed. Just taking some time to be healthy and enjoy everything he’s built from the ground up. The creator rarely gets to smile at his artwork because he’s so busy making more.”

I think we could accurately describe this video as a solid idea that needed a little more planning. As much as I like the concept of the MMA community shaming Gary Shaw into putting Kimbo Slice up against quality opponents, just pointing out the obvious about Kimbo and then tearing a copy of ESPN the Magazine in half isn’t really going to get it done. I also have my doubts about whether or not Gary Shaw can be shamed. It’s going to take a real team effort from the entire MMA world to do it.

So rather than simply criticize, I think we should offer Jeff Monson some notes to make his second effort a little stronger. Let’s try and keep it constructive. I’ll go first.

- Jeff, I like that you opted not to wear a shirt in order to show off your tattoos and that you used those UFC posters as a backdrop, but I just feel like there’s something missing right now.

Maybe you could hold the magazine up to your face and mock Kimbo’s voice a little before ripping the thing in half. Or you could come up with a stupid nickname for him and then you could keep referring to him that way throughout the video. I think that would really amp up the emotional resonance.

Other thoughts?

(LOFL!)

— Brock Lesnar has brought in seven-time BJJ world champion Rodrigo “Comprido” Medeiros to help out with his ground game in preparation for his match against Heath Herring at UFC 87 (August 9th, Minneapolis). Lesnar by flying cockswordplata?

— UFC: Silva vs. Irvin is now officially listed on UFC.com’s events page, while UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta) has been dubbed “Breakthrough”; no matches are listed yet other than the Liddell/Evans headliner.

— Fightline.com reports that Jared Shaw has confirmed Kimbo Slice and Brett Rogers will fight in October. The fight will “more than likely” take place on CBS. A Nick Diaz/KJ Noons match is being discussed as a co-main event for the same card.

— Affliction: Banned will feature a performance by Megadeth (!), who will be rockin’ out at key points throughout the event. Hopefully that means they’ll be playing the end of “Peace Sells” during Fedor’s ring entrance, and then “Killing Is My Business” during the main event fight itself.

— A “Japan and South Korea friendship event” called Kakutougi Taikai GLADIATOR has been scheduled for August 16th in Okayama, Japan, featuring a headlining bout between crusty American legend Don Frye and Japanese middleweight Ikuhisa “The Punk” Minowa, aka “Minowaman.” Minowa is no stranger to freak show bouts, as he already holds wins over Paulo Cesar Silva, Eric “Butterbean” Esch, Bum Chan Kang, and Phil Baroni.

Drop whatever it is you’re pretending to do and watch this highlight reel (props: KingAtRock), which covers the year’s best knockouts from the UFC and EliteXC, starring Kala Kolohe Hose, Wilson Gouveia, Tim Boetsch, Chris Leben, Brett Rogers, Yves Edwards, and Kimbo Slice.

Also: If you need proof of Dana White’s rumored iron-pumping prowess, check out the wacky video after the jump.

Though Gary Shaw previously stated that EliteXC was tentatively looking at early Fall for their next “Saturday Night Fights” card on CBS, the impressive ratings that the May 31st show pulled in has the network wanting to bring it back in the summer. As Dave Meltzer reports:

Shaw said the date of the next CBS card is expected to be finalized this week in a joint decision with CBS. Due to the success of the first show, CBS wants to have a return date in late July to capitalize on the momentum. Shaw feels Lawler and Smith wouldn’t be ready for a July date, nor would Slice.

As disappointing as the Kimbo Slice/James Thompson fight was, Kimbo is still EliteXC’s biggest draw, and CBS may be shooting themselves in the foot a bit by scheduling the next SNF broadcast before he’s ready to return. To ensure strong ratings for their second CBS event in his absence, EliteXC would probably need to bring back Gina Carano, and stack the rest of the card with recognizable names. Unfortunately, Nick Diaz, KJ Noons, Yves Edwards, and Murilo Rua are already booked for this Saturday’s EliteXC show in Hawaii, which will be televised on Showtime. Outside of setting up a Brett Rogers/Antonio Silva bout for EiteXC’s vacant heavyweight title, there aren’t many compelling matchups that Shaw & Co. could schedule for six weeks later. Waiting until early Fall definitely seems like the best option — but good ratings tend to make people do crazy things…

(Fist bump: BloodyElbow)

At least that’s what he said during an appearance on The Dan Le Batard Show yesterday. When asked about Brett Rogers’s call-out at the EliteXC post-fight press conference last Saturday, Slice said:

“He’s probably looking at it like, okay yo, Kimbo Slice could be a meal ticket, but his corner needs to tell him there’s ways to do it, and that just was not one of the ways. Instead of making the fight up more on the business tip, this is gonna be personal.”

Le Batard asked if that meant he’d definitely be fighting Rogers next, to which Kimbo replied, “Yeah, hell yeah, I’m gonna fight him now, the man just called me out.” As for when the fight could take place? “Probably October.” Slice doesn’t expect to fight before then, partly because of injuries sustained to his thumbs.

In another interesting moment from the interview, Kimbo acknowledged all the pressure he was feeling from his bosses to win the fight:

“If I was gonna lose the fight, it would have been a major letdown to CBS — that’s like [*bleeeeeep*] CBS, you know how big-time that is — and then you got Showtime, and EliteXC, ProElite. You got all these huge, major companies…and everyone depending on this one guy to win this just one fight, and if he doesn’t win this one fight, it’ll just be a major letdown, it would have just been a disappointment to all these people.”

Of course, Gary Shaw could still throw a wrench in Kimbo’s plans, but for now it’s looking like the Grim’s pleas will be answered. Listen to the rest of interview to hear Kimbo’s full analysis of his fight with James Thompson, and an embarrassing parody tribute song by fake-Cameo that Kimbo gives a “[*bleep*]‘n strong 7.”

(Props: FightOpinion.com)

(Photo courtesy of the LA Times.)

Final viewership figures from EliteXC/CBS’s Saturday Night Fights broadcast were announced today via press release, and despite all the unfortunate aspects of the event itself, it was undeniably a smash in terms of drawing an audience. The final 51 minutes of the 171-minute program delivered an average of 6.12 million viewers, peaking at 6.51 million viewers during the main event. Compared to CBS’s regularly scheduled programming at 9:00-11:00 PM on Saturday during the 2007-08 season, the ratings were up an astounding 357% among men aged 18-34. In other words, as troubled as SNF was, you’ll definitely be seeing it again. (Apologies, squeamish Middle America.) Here’s the demographic breakdown released by CBS, showing rating figures and peak viewership:

The 4.31 million average viewers pulled in by SNF from 9 to 11 p.m. edged out the 4.23 scored by ABC during that time and the 4.31 recorded by NBC, which was showing an NHL playoff game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings. CBS’s beating of NBC was especially prominent in L.A., where EliteXC peaked at a 7.2 share, while the NHL averaged a 3 share. (FOX kicked everyone’s ass with the perennial Saturday night twofer of Cops and America’s Most Wanted.)

And if you need more useless information, here are the top 10 markets for CBS from 11:30-11:45 PM on Saturday:

1) Oklahoma City/KWTV: 11.1 rating/18 share
2) Nashville/WTVF: 10.3/19
3) New Orleans/WWL: 9.7/15
4) Memphis/WREG: 8.4/14
5) Greenville-Spartanburg-Asheville/WSPA: 8.0/15
6) Las Vegas/KLAS: 7.5/15
7T) Tulsa/KOTV: 7.3/13
7T) Miami/WFOR: 7.3/12
9) Los Angeles/KCBS: 7.2/17
10) St Louis/KMOV: 7.1/13

(Slice, during his “Suge Knight” period.)

Street-brawling YouTube sensation Kimbo Slice (real name: Kevin Ferguson) was arrested by Miami Beach cops in May 2002 on gun and open container charges. The felony weapons rap against Slice, 28 at the time, was eventually dismissed. He entered a no contest plea to the booze charge and was ordered to attend an alcohol education course. — TheSmokingGun, via the UG

Sure, it looked like he did from the TV angle, but the above gif supports the “thumbs up” argument. Take that, Brett Rogers! Still, what the hell was James Thompson doing just standing there? Thanks to reader “Vegas” for the find.

(Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson)

(Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young)

(Joey Villasenor vs. Phil Baroni)

Smith/Lawler is here and Rogers/Murphy is here. James Thompson, Phil Baroni, and Gina Carano react to their matches after the jump.

(The New York Badass struts into the abyss.)

Some visual highlights from my visit to the Prudential Center. Click photos for larger versions; hold cursor over photos for identifications. All images courtesy of BG/CagePotato.com, and may be reproduced with credit.

(Kimbo denies that he tapped during his fight with James Thompson.)

(Kimbo on Thompson’s horrific cauliflower ear.)

(Kimbo’s succinct evaluation of his ground-fighting ability.)

Hey all; just got back from Newark, and boy is my t-shirt sweaty. Lots to talk about, of course, but I first wanted to share this highlight from the post-event press conference. As the fighters trickled in one-by-one, each was given some time to address the press before questions were directed at the group. Brett Rogers used his mic time to savage Kimbo Slice’s performance. “I’m a real heavyweight,” he said, “and that was some garbage-ass shit.” Regarding James Thompson, Rogers said “I didn’t know you could win three times in the same night and still lose.”

When Kimbo finally arrived, entourage in tow, Rogers was prompted to get back on the mic and repeat what he said while Kimbo was within earshot. No punk, Rogers complied. The above video — taken with my garbage-ass Canon PowerShot — is what happened next. Not sure how much of this is manufactured hype, or a calculated attention-grab by Rogers, but we think Kimbo just found his next opponent.

…and you see a guy wearing this shirt, that’s me.

Yeah I make iron-on t-shirts as a hobby, what.

(BG)

(Sorry Kimbo, that goes for fluffers too.)

Though the fighters involved in EliteXC’s “Saturday Night Fights” event stand to make record amounts of money from sponsorship deals, the way the fighters represent those sponsors is being strictly regulated by CBS. As FiveOuncesofPain reports:

[W]hile fighters can wear hats during their cage-walk entrance, they must wear an EliteXC hat while in the cage during their post-fight interview. The respective corner of a fighter also cannot drape a banner on the inside of the cage. Banners can only be displayed on the outside of the cage and can only advertise the fight camp that the fighter is representing.

Of course, CBS must give their blessing before a sponsor’s name is allowed anywhere in a fighter’s appearance, and not all sponsorships have made the cut. The most prominent 86′ing is that of Reality Kings, the porn web site company that Kimbo Slice used to bodyguard for, and which has had a visible place on Slice’s clothing and signage during his professional fights. As Gary Shaw said during a conference call on Thursday, “We understand what’s socially responsible, and CBS has a very high standard for standards and practices. And every logo we put on or whatever we do goes through CBS in their standards and practices.”

Disassociating MMA from porn is unquestionably a wise decision for this historic broadcast, and we can only hope that Mauro Ranallo has to submit all of his kooky metaphors for approval before the event as well. A girl-on-girl cagefight on national TV is edgy enough. Baby steps, people…

(And now that anonymous bald man in the sweat pants is landing magazine covers and headlining a show on CBS. God bless America.)

Fightline.com is passing along the rumor that EliteXC is working to get Kimbo Slice in the cage with Sean Gannon, the Boston police officer and former Golden Gloves champion who put Kimbo down for the 30-count during an unregulated basement brawl in 2004. As Slice has said, “I would literally give my left nut — but I wouldn’t tell anybody — to fight him again.” Slice’s fight with Gannon was a chaotic mess, hampered by a lack of clarity on the rules; Kimbo thought it would be bare-knuckle boxing like his previous fights, and was thrown off when Gannon began throwing knees and attempting choke-holds. Gannon’s subsequent notoriety landed him a shot in the UFC, where he got his ass kicked by Branden Lee Hinkle at UFC 55. Jesus Christ, did those guys tie their wagon to the wrong Internet fighter or what?

Oddly enough, this isn’t the first time I saw Gannon’s name today. He was actually name-checked today in a Wall Street Journal article (!) about police officers who moonlight as MMA fighters:

Some of the biggest names in this sport, whose main league is the Ultimate Fighting Championship, are police officers. Sean “the Cannon” Gannon, a Boston police officer, achieved notoriety when he defeated street fighter Kimbo Slice in a bare-knuckles, backyard brawl. “Big John” McCarthy is the most well-known referee; he just retired from his day job as defensive-tactics instructor for the Los Angeles Police Department…

Forrest Griffin, who ranks among the top six light heavyweights in the world, quit his job as an officer in Augusta, Ga., four years ago to become a professional fighter. He first became interested in fighting in 1999, when he trained at the police academy. Though Mr. Griffin, 29, misses some things about being a police officer — like high-speed chases — he says quitting was an easy decision. “It was like, do you want to play in the NBA or do you want to be a cop?” he says. “Everyone wants to make lots of money to be on TV.”

(The cover of ESPN: The Magazine’s new issue.)

“I’m a streetfighter and I love streetfighters. It’s great to have other leagues. UFC can’t have everyone. There’s thousands of fighters out there and they need a chance to make a living. Me, I’m a Kimbo Slice fan. I like fighting. I see where Dana is coming from and I respect his opinion, but I like streetfighting.” — B.J. Penn

“The amount of talent and fights we put on are second to none. Think about it, the CBS fight that they are coming up with, who gives a crap about Kimbo Slice? This guy can’t fight MMA. You know what would happen if he fought in the UFC? I’d put him in against BJ Penn and (Slice) would get annihilated. The guy he is fighting, James Thompson, might get knocked out before he gets into the cage. Kimbo has no credibility at all in MMA. … I am telling you, BJ Penn would beat him.” — Dana White

“I still consider myself a baby at this game…Those guys probably know how to run circles around me, but I can bang with the best. And I’m not a one-dimensional fighter anymore. I used to have just a hammer. But now I’ve got a hammer, a tape measure, a screwdriver, a glue gun. Now I’ve got some tools in the belt.” — Kimbo Slice

(Props: BloodyElbow)

Three weeks ago, I entered a devil’s wager with Fightlinker.com, in which Ryan Harkness and I would go head-to-head in predicting the results of this Saturday’s UFC 84, with the loser having to do something awful. After reviewing the reader suggestions on CP and FL — which ran the gamut from permanently scarring to financially unfeasible (good effort anyway, guys!) — we both decided on something simple. The loser will have to put up a video of themselves drinking ipecac. To illustrate ipecac’s gruesome effects, Fightlinker posted this video. Wa-wa-wee-wa. Needless to say, I really don’t want to lose. So if you have any inside info/messages from God regarding Saturday’s fights, hollatchaboy in the comments section. I’ll post my official picks tomorrow.

(BG)

Also: FL found some amusing CBS Saturday Night Fights promos starring Kevin Ferguson himself. You simply must watch them after the jump.

I wish I could embed this — but you’ll have to click the picture above to see a “leaked” clip from this Wednesday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, in which C.B. Dollaway playfully kicks Rampage during a training session, which spurs Rampage to take his pants off and challenge Dollaway to a submission grappling match. We’ll just say that he should have kept his pants on, and that Nick Klein is a dead man.

Speaking of The Ultimate Fighter 7, the undercard for the season finale (June 21st, live at 9 p.m. ET on SpikeTV) has been officially announced. Right now, the lineup looks like this:

Evan Tanner vs. Kendall Grove
Diego Sanchez vs. Luigi Fioravanti
[match between the show's two middleweight finalists]
Spencer Fisher vs. Jeremy Stephens
Josh Burkman vs. Dustin Hazelett
Marvin Eastman vs. Drew McFedries
Jeremy Horn vs. Dean Lister
Matt Arroyo vs. TBA?
Rob Yundt vs. TBA?

Other bouts featuring the show’s castmembers are also expected to be included in the three-hour telecast. I’ll sell my third testicle if Dollaway isn’t involved.

Another must-see: Remember that thing about Kimbo Slice presenting at the CMAs on Sunday? Well, it was even more awkward and uncomfortable than we thought it would be. Vid is after the jump…click if you dare.

Whoever’s in charge of video editing at Triumph United has incredible taste in music (though we would have probably chosen this jam for the soundtrack instead). If you’re not interested in seeing Kimbo Slice and Bas Rutten do some synchronized striking drills during a recent meet-and-greet at Elite MMA, we’d suggest skipping to the 1:54 mark to get your first taste of Kimbo workin’ it on the ground. Props to BloodyElbow. Also…

(James Irvin prepares for his UFC 85 fight against Rashad Evans at Fairtex Bangplee in Thailand. Props to MMAMania.)