(Wait, so you mean to tell me that we have to fight indoors? In a ring? Like a bunch of pampered women? Props to MiddleEasy for the find. ) 

Fresh off his decision victory over Scott Ferrozzo at ProElite: Birmingham, Tank Abbott was at it again last night, this time taking on fellow UFC pioneer Kimo Leopold in a match that made the ill-fated special rules bout between Ken Shamrock and James Toney seem like a walk in the park. Fortunately taking place inside an actual building this time — the Avalon in Hollywood, California — the bout featured three, one minute rounds, in which the competitors wore both headgear and some cartoon sized boxing gloves.

(Back when Ken was making more than GSP…)

The TUF 11 Finale went down 1 year ago.

Why it matters:

Five of the fighters from the show are still active in the UFC and four are undefeated in the Octagon.

TUF winner Court McGee, who defeated Kris McCray in the finale by rear naked choke also beat Ryan Jensen by arm triangle at UFC 121 in October. He’s set to face Don Yi Yang at UFN “Battle at the Bayou” in September.

Kyle Noke, who was beaten by teammate McCray by unanimous decision in the quarterfinals of the show, defeated Josh Bryant by TKO at the finale and rattled off two rear naked choke submission wins against Rob Kimmons at UFC 122 in November and TUF 11 cast mate Chris Camozzi at UFC 127 at home in Australia in February. He’ll face Tom Lawlor next at UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle in August.

Brad Tavares, who lost to McGee in the semi-finals by rear naked choke is undefeated in official competition as well as 2-0 in the Octagon.He defeated TUF 11 quarterfinal opponent Seth Baczynski at the finale by unanimous decision and Phil Baroni by knockout at UFC 125 in January.

(We’re just glad that our t-shirt isn’t to blame for Kimbo’s death. We will take credit for this one cursing Gus Johnson’s Strikeforce commentating gig.)

If a mediocre backyard brawler-turned mixed martial artist dies, does anyone in the MMA media notice?

Apparently not.

It seemed that only the mainstream media outlets yesterday picked up on a story of the demise of Miami, Florida resident Kevin Ferguson — which is the legal name of Kimbo Slice. Maybe it was because it wasn’t Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson who had passed away, unless of course he had wifi access in the morgue.

(After Nate Diaz has sex with a guy, he will rip their heads off. Props: YouTube.com/FreeFights4You)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Ailing Cruz, Upstart Jorgensen Aim for History Books at WEC 53 (Versus MMA Beat)

– ‘Strength and Honor’: Ben Henderson vs. Anthony Pettis Hype Video (MMA Scraps)

– Stefan Struve Wants to Get to 280 Pounds for Lesnar, Carwin, Etc. (MMA Fighting)

– The 10 Best Fights in WEC History (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Watch This Preview of ‘The Saint of Stevia: The Legend of Dan Quinn’ (MiddleEasy)

– Kimo-Therapy: UFC Veteran To Assist the Needy This Christmas (FightMagazine)

- Frank Mir vs. Brendan Schaub Expected for March 2011 (LowKick)

– Jens Pulver Not Done Yet, Plans to Fight in January (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Roger Huerta Saves Little Girl’s Life, Proves Status As Superhero (SBNation.com/MMA)

– Fedor Emelianenko: If I Never Fight In The UFC, They Will Be Sorry, Not Me (MMA Convert)

(Props: THEkimoleopoldo via HammerFisted)

Kimo Leopoldo — everybody’s favorite officer-impersonating, meth-possessing death-hoax victim — may be long out of the MMA game, but he hasn’t stopped living, you dig? HammerFisted.com dug up the above video, taken this summer, which shows Kimo ascending a staircase at some sort of motel or apartment complex or assisted living facility, then diving into a pool from three stories up. Well, "diving" might be an overstatement. He basically falls into the water in the most painful-looking way possible.

But as we’ve learned in the past, Kimo Leopoldo is indestructible. He will remain above-ground even after War Machine dies of syphilis, even after Dan Quinn drives into an oncoming semi while shouting down Fred Reeva in his final video blog. Kimo gets out of the water, shouts "Awright," demands to know how the splash was, and explains "I hadda like, not let my second-guess guess me on that one." We’d say that’s good advice for anybody…

(Our thoughts exactly.)

Well this is odd. After those reports of Kimo Leopoldo’s death were discovered to be an Internet message board-driven hoax, many of us were quick to dump haterade on TMZ, the celebrity gossip outlet that "confirmed" the news after it was first reported, and helped the false report snowball out of control. Though TMZ quickly took the story down when Kimo showed up breathing, we never heard an apology from Harvey Levin and his gang of misfits — and we’re never going to:

Is steroid use an epidemic in MMA? Or are most of the fighters who have tested positive simply the victims of inept athletic commissions, shady nutritional supplements, and tainted goat meat? After Josh Barnett’s latest chemical misadventure took down Affliction, we decided to round up every steroid bust in the sport since early 2002, when the Nevada State Athletic Commission began testing MMA fighters for performance-enhancing drugs. The results…may shock you.

***

JOSH BARNETT (Pt. 1)
Caught: 4/22/02, following his TKO victory over Randy Couture at UFC 36.
Tested positive for: Boldenone, Nandrolone, and Fluoxymesterone
Punishment: A six-month suspension from the NSAC and the loss of his UFC heavyweight title. Barnett fought the steroid charge, and didn’t compete again in the U.S. until PRIDE 32, four and a half years later. (See: Belfort, Nastula)
In his own words: “I am a fighter, not a lawyer. I am innocent, and I should be fighting right now.”
Repeat offender: Barnett actually tested positive once before, for two different anabolic steroids, following his submission via strikes victory over Bobby Hoffman at UFC 34 in November 2001. Josh was let off with a warning (which went unheeded, apparently) and the incident was never officially reported — but according to Sherdog’s Mike Sloan, Barnett’s first positive steroid test is what inspired Nevada to begin regularly testing UFC fighters for performance enhancing drugs.

TIM SYLVIA
Caught: 10/7/03, following his first-round knockout of Gan McGee at UFC 44.
Tested positive for: Stanozolol
Punishment: $10,000 fine and a six-month suspension from the NSAC. Sylvia voluntarily vacated his heavyweight title following his positive steroid test.
In his own words: “[A]fter I fought Ricco [Rodriguez], I was in for a long layoff. I decided to try some things and maybe change my physique a little bit and get in better shape. But whatever I used, it came back positive. I don’t know how that happened. I did it so long ago and I was way off it before I fought McGee. I think they found it in my fat cells. I guess it stays in there for a while, huh?…I heard what Josh [Barnett] had used, so I used something different and I was only using it to trim my physique. I thought that what I was using, it was going to be out by the time I fought McGee. I fought Gan and apparently it wasn’t out.”

This isn’t officially confirmed yet, but we thought we’d pass on the news that multiple sources are reporting this morning claiming that former UFC fighter Kimo Leopoldo has died from complications resulting from a heart attack.  Details at this point are still rather hazy, but if true this marks a sad end for the fighter with an often tumultuous life in and out of the cage.  He was 41 years old.

Leopoldo recently found himself in the news after an arrest for drug possession in southern California.  Before that he made a very public run for the Executive Officer position within the California State Athletic Commission, where he hoped to turn his past record for steroid use into an asset rather than a liability.  There’s no indication yet whether drugs might have played a role in his death.  More on this as it becomes available.

Many of you disagreed with our description of yesterday’s cartwheel kick knockout as “the greatest KO ever.”  Yeah, we weren’t totally serious about that (ever heard of hyberbole?), but our good friend Matt Brown, editor of Fight! Magazine, took issue with it and sent us the above video to demonstrate what a truly amazing knockout looks like.

These two midgets pull out all the stops in this kickboxing bout, and as you can tell the announcer (is that you, Frank Trigg?) is loving it. So is this yet another sign of the impending apocalypse?  Maybe.  But we prefer to think of it as a sign that Matt Brown is a weirdo.  Don’t worry though, he insists that he only stumbled across the video by accident while searching for midget porn.

After the jump, Kimo Leopoldo is out of jail and breaking bricks with his head.  Is that more or less bizarre than the midgets?  You decide.

(Photo courtesy of Knucklepit.)

2009 is turning out to be a blockbuster year for MMA fighters fooling around and falling in jail. First we had Josh Neer arrested for hit-and-run/DUI. Then Jeff Monson was thrown in the pokey for grandfather clock abuse. Then War Machine got himself placed under citizen’s arrest at the gay club where he works. (Man, that gets funnier every time we write it.) And now it’s Kimo Leopoldo, the UFC old-timer and dark-horse candidate for CSAC executive officer. If you guessed "drug-related," congratulations, you are smarter than a fifth grader. TMZ, as usual, breaks it:

(Kimo is upset about your 2.7 GPA, but only because he knows you could do better if you would just apply yourself.)

Kimo Leopoldo’s campaign/publicity stunt to become executive officer of the California State Athletic Commission continues this week, as a press release sent out on his behalf accuses the CSAC of widespread corruption and cover-ups, claiming, "Somebody or some group apparently is trying to hide the degree of corruption in CSAC," in part because former executive director Armando Garcia "was allegedly caught with $350,000 (in cash) in his locker, but he was allowed to resign instead of being prosecuted."

Leopoldo claims that once he’s in charge he’ll allow the staff to stay in their positions if they cooperate with an FBI investigation, and says, “temporary executive officer Dean Lohouis isn’t any different than Armando [Garcia]. The CSAC needs change and I’m willing to provide therapy.”

Get it?  “Kimo” therapy?  Like the excruciating treatment for cancer patients?  It’s a play on words.

The good news is Leopoldo would also like to bring his message of ‘I did steroids so you don’t have to’ to California high schools:

(Nothing says professionalism like hauling a big wooden cross around.)

When I read this press release announcing that former steroid-user and general MMA punchline Kimo Leopoldo was applying to be Executive Officer of the California State Athletic Commission, I assumed that someone was jerking my chain, as the kids say.  But this application letter would have me believe that he is totally cereal:

Please accept this letter as the submission of my written qualifications for the application of the position of Executive Officer for the California State Athletic Commission (CSAC). It is with great pleasure and humility I offer my qualifications as an advanced equivalent for the position of Executive Officer for all of the reasons detailed below. … As a 14 year veteran in the professional kickboxing and MMA industry, I believe I hold a
heightened degree of expertise in understanding and working with fighters, matchmakers, managers, promoters, various professional associations, members of the press, venue operators, attorneys, the general public, and the commission and other governmental regulators on an international and national level.

[…]

And since it is going to eventually come up in the process, I will address my use of Steroids in this application letter. Yes, I used Steroids in my past to help support my efforts as a professional athlete/fighter. However, my experiences whether negative or positive have given me greater insight into the crutches of life’s downfalls and my decisions today come from experiences. I will say that my choices and decision making ability are educated decisions and made from a position of informed consent, as opposed to blind guidance . I can be honest about my past and can look a fighter in the eye and tell him/her with great confidence that use of illicit substances is not worth the future health issues it creates nor is it worth the risk they are taking against their license.

Way to turn your past steroid use into an asset rather than a liability, Kimo.  Looks like someone has been reading those MSN articles about how to ace a job interview.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

The year was 2004. Britney Spears was still skinny and childless. “Deadwood” had just premiered on HBO. Janet Jackson sparked controversy by showing the world her wonderful, glorious nipple during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show. It was a different time, a simpler time.

It was also the last time Ken Shamrock’s hand was raised in MMA victory, after a TKO via knee 1:26 into round one against Kimo Leopoldo at UFC 48: Payback. On the same fight card, Frank Mir broke Tim Sylvia’s arm, and a little-known fighter by the name of Georges St. Pierre knocked out Jay Hieron on the undercard.

Now here we are, four years (and, for Shamrock, five straight losses) later, and “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” is preparing to headline a fight on CBS against Kimbo Slice, a former backyard brawler now trained by Bas Rutten. If that’s possible, just imagine where we’ll be four years from now. The world is indeed a strange and inscrutable place.