MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: KJ Noons

Barnburner/Do-or-Die Double-Feature Alert: UFC 166 Adds Gonzaga vs. Jordan, Noons vs. Sotiropoulos


(Nope. Not fuckin’ with that guy.)

By Alex Giardini

A potential heavyweight slugfest and a duel between two lightweights who need to get back to their winning ways have both been reported for UFC 166, taking place October 19th at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas.

Gabriel Gonzaga, fresh off of an obliteration of Dave Herman at UFC 162 earlier this month, meets “The Savage” Shawn Jordan in a fight sure to end with someone on the canvas before the end of the third round. Gonzaga, the man responsible for Mirko Cro Cop’s downfall — and we’ll never forgive him for it, that son-of-a-bitch — looks to keep climbing back into the title mix, six years after his unsuccessful challenge against Randy Couture back at UFC 74. This will be Gonzaga’s seventeenth appearance in the Octagon over the course of eight years.

Meanwhile, Jordan is riding a two-fight win streak with stoppages over Mike Russow and most recently fan-favorite Pat Barry at UFC 161 in Winnipeg (which took him one second short of a minute). Both men have a combined amount of 1:16 cage-time spent in their last Octagon outings. That’s just how heavyweights roll, my dudes.

Also on the card…

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UFC 160 Salaries: Cain Velasquez Makes 400 Large; Dos Santos, Hunt, Grant Also Crack Six Figures


(It’s cool, he’s used to it. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The UFC paid out $1,733,000 in disclosed salaries and performance bonuses to the 24 fighters who competed at UFC 160, with heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez‘s $400,000 flat fee eating up 23% of the total. (Coming soon: The “Occupy Velasquez” movement, led by Jacob Volkmann and John Cholish.) Heavyweights Junior Dos Santos and Mark Hunt made over $200k for their co-main event bout — including their $50,000 Fight of the Night bonuses — while the night’s other big winner, TJ Grant, just made it to the six-figure mark.

Check out the full list of UFC 160 salaries below — courtesy of the Nevada State Athletic Commission via MMAMania — followed by our traditional rundown of who’s underpaid/overpaid. Keep in mind that the numbers don’t include additional income from undisclosed “locker-room bonuses,” sponsorships, or cuts of the pay-per-view that some of the UFC’s stars are entitled to, or deductions for taxes, insurance, and licensing fees.

Cain Velasquez: $400,000 (no win bonus)
Antonio Silva: $75,000

Junior dos Santos: $290,000 (includes $120,000 win bonus, $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Mark Hunt: $210,000 (includes $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Glover Teixeira: $98,000 (includes $24,000 win bonus, $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
James Te Huna: $30,000

T.J. Grant: $100,000 (includes $25,000 win bonus, $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Gray Maynard: $45,000

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Classic Knockout Of The Day: Melvin Guillard’s Boxing Debut Doesn’t Go Well


(Props: TheMrsCountryman. Fight starts at the 2:23 mark, knockout happens at 4:16. And yeah, the audio doesn’t work in this clip, so feel free to hum a tune of your choice.)

Ten months before making his UFC debut at the TUF 2 Finale in November 2005, Melvin Guillard decided to take a pro boxing bout in Las Vegas against a Detroit-based fighter named James Countryman. The fight did not go well for Melvin.

About a minute and a half into the match, Countryman lands a big overhand right that levels Guillard. The Young Assassin springs to his feet and nods his head a couple times to signify that yes, he got smacked with a good one, then goes right back into the fight. Seconds later, Guillard catches a left hook from Countryman flush on the jaw and falls backwards into the ropes, unconscious. Game. Over.

Guillard would go onto a successful career in the UFC, but has never boxed professionally again. Countryman boxed for four more years, compiling a 14-1 record through March 2009. Interestingly enough, Countryman’s final boxing match was a decision win against none other than Karl “KJ” Noons, the current UFC lightweight and former EliteXC champion. Noons fought three more boxing matches that year, winning all three of them, and put together an 11-2 boxing record overall before devoting himself to MMA full time — which maybe wasn’t the greatest choice, in retrospect.

- Elias Cepeda

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UFC 160: Velasquez vs. Bigfoot 2 — Main Card Results & Commentary


(Yep. A whole lot of regrettable tats in this room. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

Sit back, warm up your jaws, and get ready for CagePotato’s main card liveblog of UFC 160. The pay-per-view broadcast will be popping off at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, and your friend George Shunick will be sticking round-by-round results after the jump.

On tonight’s menu: Cain Velasquez will attempt to defend his heavyweight title against his old buddy Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, while ex-champ Junior Dos Santos and Mark Hunt throw down for the next crack at the belt. Plus, light-heavyweights Glover Teixeira and James Te Huna put their three-fight win streaks on the line, lightweights Gray Maynard and TJ Grant meet in a potential #1 lightweight contender’s match, and Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone opens things off by roping an outmatched calf named KJ Noons.

Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let your voices be heard in the comments section. Thanks for being here, guys.

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Ben vs. Jared: UFC 160 Edition


(Cain doesn’t see an enormous head. He sees a big, beautiful, blood-piñata, just waiting to burst open and spill its bounty. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

BG and Danga are back mahfuckas, baaaaaaaaaaaaam! [*cough*] Excuse me. What I meant to say was, UFC 160 goes down tomorrow night in Las Vegas, so CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up once again to discuss all the important themes surrounding the event. Which heavyweight fight on the main card is more likely to end in an upset? Should we write off KJ Noons as nothing more than UFC shark-bait? What’s a Nurmagomedov gotta do to get some respect around here? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

It seems pretty obvious that the UFC is trying to set up Dos Santos vs. Velasquez III, but who stands the better chance of throwing a wrench in their plans, Hunt or Silva?

Jared: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS. The last I checked, Mark Hunt was riding high on the most unexpected win streak in UFC history, turned his last opponent’s jaw into mashed potatoes, and will now be harboring the kind of silent-but-deadly rage that can only be brought about by jet lag. “Bigfoot” is coming off an upset win over a sans testosterone-abusing Overeem, sure, but picking him over the man, the myth, the pseudo-Mexican who reenacted the rock scene from Cannibal Holocaust on him almost a year ago to the day? No thanks, my dude.

Ben: I hate to agree with this jackass — and how dare you try to persuade me by linking to a track from Primus’s underrated Rhinoplasty EP, Jared — so for the sake of argument, I’ll go ahead and say ARE *YOU* KIDDING *ME* WITH THIS?? Mark Hunt has built up a dubious win streak slinging haymakers against guys who allowed him to do so. Junior Dos Santos is far too disciplined to become another victim of the same old rock-’em-sock-’em Super Samoan routine. In a brawl, Hunt has a chance against anybody. But this won’t be a brawl — it’ll be boxing match, and JDS is about as good as they come in that department.

And sure, Hunt has scored a string of upsets against guys like Cheick Kongo and Stefan Struve. Meanwhile, Antonio Silva has scored far more unexpected and dramatic upsets against guys like Fedor Emelianenko and the aforementioned ‘Reem. Bigfoot has heart for days, and fists big enough to dummy up anybody in the heavyweight division on any given night, including the current champion. How many times are you gonna sleep on this guy? #BigfootEra

Gray Maynard vs. T.J. Grant: Who will earn the right to suffer a narrow split decision loss to Ben Henderson next?

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‘UFC 160: Velasquez vs. Silva’ Picks Up Cerrone vs. Noons, Teixeira vs. Bader


(It is reported that Cerrone’s final words were “Hold my beer, and watch this.” / Photo via Sherdog)

Two more big matchups have been added to the already-beefy UFC 160 lineup, which is slated for May 25th at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. In addition to the previously reported Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio Silva heavyweight championship headliner and Junior Dos Santos vs. Alistair Overeem, the card will feature…

- Donald Cerrone vs. KJ Noons (lightweight): The always entertaining “Cowboy” Cerrone, who followed up his ass-whuppin’ at the hands of Anthony Pettis last month by nearly falling to his death in a recent rock-climbing incident*, will welcome former Strikeforce boxing-specialist KJ Noons to the Octagon. Noons has hit a rough stretch lately, losing four of his last five fights, all by decision. His last match ended in a split-decision loss against Ryan Couture.

- Glover Teixeira vs. Ryan Bader (light-heavyweight): Coming off his decision win over Rampage Jackson at UFC on FOX 6 — his third-straight win in the UFC and 18th-straight overall — the much-hyped Teixeira will get another solid test in the form of Ryan Bader, who choked out Vladimir Matyushenko in just 50 seconds at the same event.

We expect Cerrone and Teixeira to be solid favorites in these fights. Anybody predicting an upset?

* Don’t blame me, I wanted to go bowling.

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Despite Losses at Final Strikeforce Event, KJ Noons and Anthony Smith Will Be Signed by UFC [UPDATED]


(Before GSP and Carlos Condit, KJ Noons was by far the biggest pain in Nick Diaz’s ass. Photo via Esther Lin/Strikeforce)

Remember when Jorge Gurgel made the ominous claim that the losers at Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine would be out of a job? It’s starting to look like that rule maybe just applied to Jorge Gurgel. (Sorry, bro.) According to reports that have been coming out since the show, a couple of prelim fighters who fell short in their matches will soon be picked up by the UFC.

First up is KJ Noons, who lost to Ryan Couture in a decision so questionable that Dana White wondered if the coin-flip method would be more effective. It was Noons’s fourth loss in his last five outings — dating back to his rematch loss to Nick Diaz in October 2010 — but the UFC is giving the tough lightweight striker a chance to prove himself in the Octagon. As Noons told MMAJunkie yesterday, ”They said, ‘Heal up, and as soon as you’re healed up, then start training, and we’ll get you on a card.”

For Noons, a potential move to the UFC would represent a massive improvement to his career, and not just because of the increased visibility:

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[VIDEO] Full Recap of ‘Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine’

Fun Fact: According to our Strikeforce underdog poll, a staggering majority of you Taters thought Ed Herman stood the best chance of pulling off an upset over Ronaldo Souza. In a distant second was that of the now retired Mike Kyle, and in an even more distant third was a tie between “Mike Goldberg over his drug addiction” and “Barnett’s ability to piss clean.” In short, the results were hurtful, hilarious, and wildly incorrect, which is exactly the kind of rapport we’ve been trying to establish around here for the past five years. So take in this kudos, Potato Nation, because like a rich, neglectful father in a children’s holiday movie, it will be a long time before we willingly give you another compliment.

But on the off chance you didn’t vote in our poll or even tune in for Strikeforce’s final event (Full disclosure: I am catching up on the fights as I write this. KJ Noons should be on his way to a clear cut UD victory, right?), we’ve placed a full video recap of the main card above. So sit back and let Pat Militech’s soothing baritone take you back to a night of squash matches topped off by Tarec Saffiedine’s destruction of Nate Marquardt’s leg, which apparently next to none of you saw coming.

-J. Jones

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K.J. Noons vs. Ryan Couture, Roger Gracie vs. Anthony Smith Added to Strikeforce’s Coda


(Jeez, I haven’t seen such poor fight choreography since Sonny Corleone went to town on that punk Carlo for beating on his kid sister.) 

If our past few posts are any indication, it doesn’t really matter what the subject of this article is, because you Taters will inevitably turn the comment section into a discussion on a feller who goes by dipsetkilla, whether he fucked your mom or not, and how gay you would be based on whether he fucked your mom or not. Personally, I think we should have dipset and bootystar (remember him?) engage in a winner-takes-all battle of incoherent superiority. Then again, dipset is probably hitching up his trousers and throwing a five dollar bill on my mother’s nightstand as we speak, so clearly I have a dog in this fight. Maybe I just miss bootystar and such whimsical gems as: “I bet the gladiator got asked cuz he was caught starring at the pork barrel sausage in the littereen next to his bald headed one yed jack of pades” but I digress.

Aaannnyyway…a pair of bouts have been added to Strikeforce’s stacked (LOL!) final card that will feature Luke Rockhold vs. Mr. Glass, Daniel Cormier vs. some dude, Josh Barnett vs. Imhotep, and Whoshisface vs. Whatshisname. We don’t mean to over-hype these fights, but needless to say, they will forever change your definition of the word “Superfight.”

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KJ Noons vs. Ryan Couture Added to ‘Strikeforce: That’s All, Folks’ on Jan. 12


(Alternate titles for the event include “Strikeforce: All’s Well That Enswell” and ”Strikeforce: Operation Frequent Wind. / Photo via Showtime Sports.)

Strikeforce continues to blow its talent wad for what might be the last event of its existence. As MMAJunkie reported on Friday, a compelling lightweight battle between KJ Noons vs. Ryan Couture has been added to January 12th lineup, and will likely take place on the Showtime Extreme-televised preliminary card.

Since coming up short against Nick Diaz during their Strikeforce welterweight title fight in October 2010, Noons has gone 1-2 at lightweight, most recently dropping a unanimous decision to Josh Thomson at the Tate vs. Rousey card in March. Still, his sharp boxing and significant experience edge could make him a very tough match for Couture, who is riding a three-fight win streak. Couture won a split-decision over Joe Duarte in his last Strikeforce appearance at Rockhold vs. Kennedy, and was most recently spotted looking at a paint-clad Natasha Wicks with an expression that seemed to say, “You’re hot and everything, but my dad’s already manhandled you, so I don’t know.”

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