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Tag: knockout videos

Knockout of the Day: When Keeping it Real Having the Name Anderson Silva Goes Wrong


(Props to UG member KickYoNuts for the find.)

Picture this: You’re a young, wannabe rock star who just so happens to be named Eddie Van Halen. Even worse, you just so happen to LOVE playing heavy metal guitar, and truly believe that all the comparisons to the man himself and requests to play “Eruption” ad nauseam will be worth it when you finally step on stage to accept your Grammy.

So you find yourself a decent crew of bandmates, practice your ass off, and finally convince yourself that you are ready for a shot at the big time. Before you know it, you find yourself opening for Alice Cooper at the Wacken Open Air festival in front of an endless sea of eager spectators. You only get one song to blow the collective minds of the masses and it’s an easy choice: a cover of Pantera’s “Cowboys From Hell.”

You step onto the stage and unleash a whammy bar dive that channels the spirit of the almighty Dimebag Darrell himself, but just as you are about to bellow “Awwwwww COME ON!”, an ill-timed current surges through your microphone and knocks you unconscious. You release your bowels all over your brand new Gibson Les Paul Standard, and even worse, a video of the incident becomes a viral sensation within hours, forever shaming you to a lifetime spent reminiscing about the night you played a spot-on rendition of “Eruption” with your large intestine.

This is the MMA equivalent of that.

-J. Jones

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In Honor of Mark Hunt’s UFC 160 Return, Let’s All Watch Him Turn Stefan Struve’s Jaw Into Mush


(Props: YouTube.com/fueltv. Skip to 13:38 to see Hunt create the best MMA photo moment of 2013.)

Picture it: Saitama, March 2013. Thirty-eight-year-old slugger Mark Hunt has improbably battled his way to a three-fight win streak in the UFC, and is booked to face Stefan Struve, who stands 14 inches taller than him, and is on an impressive four-fight victory run of his own.

The MMA Gods were angry that night, my friend. By the time that Hunt and Struve stepped into the cage, fans at the Saitama Super Arena had suffered through 24 consecutive rounds without a finisheight straight decision fights, half of which were so close that the judges didn’t all agree on who had won. It would take a miracle to save this card. Or maybe, just a beefy Samoan who knew how to exploit Struve’s maddening inability to use his range.

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CagePotato PSA: Please Stop Daring Your Opponents to Knock You Out, Bush League MMA Fighters of the World


(All praises be to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Alright, you guys, this is the last time we’re going to explain this.

We understand that six months of sprawl training can fill you with a previously unimaginable sense of self-confidence. Hell, throw in a couple BJJ lessons and a month or so of P90X and most of us would probably feel damn near invincible. It’s understandable to a degree, for we are a fragile-minded species that are easily influenced and oft corrupted by our own power, no matter how fleeting it may be.

But as fragile as our minds truly are, our bodies usually pale in comparison (*cough* Kevin Ware *cough*). And in the MMA game, taking one’s body for granted is a surefire way to wind up on the wrong end of a knockout — an embarrassing moment made all the more embarrassing when it comes just moments after you dare your opponent to test your otherworldly chin strength. Just ask our winner for the Biggest MMA Fail of 2012 or the Diaz wannabe who got front-kicked into never-neverland what showboating leads to. Hint: It’s pain. Only pain.

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Street Fight Funhouse #3: One Fight, Two Knockouts

You know, I remember when fighting in the middle of a ring of parked cars with their headlights on used to mean something. In the latest installment of Street Fight Funhouse, MMA fighter/comedian Gerald Harris adds some play-by-play commentary to an unsanctioned backyard boxing match that results in a pair of brand new concussions for a dude named “Chicken Dance.” Subscribe to CagePotato on YouTube for more of our street-fight remixes, and follow Gerald on twitter @GHurricane. As always, your comments/suggestions are appreciated.

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[VIDEO] This Flying Whatchamacallit is the Greatest Knockout of 2013 so Far, Bar None.


Kick Kick Boom – Watch More Funny Videos

We’re not going to waste our time debating whether or not this insane karate knockout is the best KO of 2013 so far. It is. We are not even going to bother finding out where this happened or who was responsible for it. For the time being, we’re just going to assume that Sensei Seagal was standing somewhere off camera when this went down, immersed in darkness and silently muttering “Let the hate flow through you” to the young gentlemen who was able to pull it off.

Instead, we’d like to spend this time determining just what the hell we are going to call this kick before Anthony Pettis pulls it off in his next fight: The bicycle-kick? The Hurricane? The Flying Dingus? The Roflcopter? The Pele? To be fair, the first and last ones are pretty much interchangeable, so help us out, Nation. Whoever comes up with the best nickname will receive an official CagePotato “I.O.U a shirt” voucher.

-J. Jones

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Knockout of the Day: Scott Noble Sleeps Francis Grant via Flying Head Kick at OO Fights XXII


(Props: OOFights.com)

Whew, does anyone else need a break from all this Nick Diaz/GSP/UFC 158 hype for a moment? I mean, I could listen to those two hurl insults at each other in broken English all day, but every now and again, I just want to see someone get knocked the fudge out, you know?

Thankfully, a video has recently been released of the battle between 3-0 KO artist Scott Noble and the debuting Francis Grant, which went down on December 1st of last year at OO Fights XXII in Virginia. And when I say “battle,” I mean a lone flying head kick that had Grant singing the Sleepsong just five seconds into the fight.

Look at it this way, Francis; your professional debut could have gone worse, I guess. You could have died.

-J. Jones

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Mondays Suck, So Here’s a 14-Second Double Knockout to Tide You Over [VIDEO]


(Major props to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Typically, a Monday morning at the CagePotato offices starts with cake. Lots of cake. There’s a staff meeting after that, again, typically held in the context of an underground cockfight or at the very least a back alley dice game. The rest of the day is as you’d expect: team-building medicine ball dodgeball at 11, lunch at Matsuhisa at 1, a full two-hour break to “research” WMMA videos at 3, and finally, Mr. Pibbs and a staff-voted episode of The Wire at 5. The writing usually happens after dodgeball.

But alas, not everyone’s Mondays can be as exhilarating or PCP-laced as ours. That’s where this video of a 14-second double knockout from last Saturday’s Galaxy Fight Night IV comes into play. Because, as you watch Aaron Britt and Brandon Alexander trade right hands and simultaneously topple over like a pair of felled oaks, you will experience nearly one-eighteenth of the life-affirming invigoration that fills the average CagePotato employee on a daily basis. It’s not something most people get to experience in the span of their measly, infinitesimal lives, let alone on a Monday morning at work. So enjoy this, you guys.

After the jump: Nick Diaz, hitting a speed bag, for 23 straight minutes. It is the lethargic, insomnia-inducing yin to this video’s captivating yang, and it will break you.

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Non-MMA Knockout of the Day: McLaren KO’s Dziurzynski in Leafs-Senators Game, 0:26 of Round 1


(Props: fcfightlog via Deadspin)

During yesterday’s NHL game between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Ottawa Senators, Toronto left-winger Frazer McLaren and Ottawa forward David Dziurzynski dropped their gloves just 26 seconds into the first period, and after a few seconds of Fyre/Takayama’ing, McLaren shut the Senators rookie completely off with a right hand. Dziurzynski fell directly onto his face following the knockout blow, reportedly suffering a concussion. Dziurzynski didn’t return to the game, and required eight stitches to close a cut on his chin. Toronto went on to win the game 5-4. As McLaren explained afterwards:

“I hope he’s OK,” McLaren told the Canadian Press, adding that he had asked Dziurzynski to fight because the Maple Leafs started out flat in their last game. “I was just trying to get us going early. I asked him (to fight) and he actually said no, so I thought we weren’t going to go and then he ended up dropping his stuff there when the puck dropped. He’s a big guy and he actually gave me a few good ones early there.”

Hockey. The child porn of ice sports.

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Knockout of the Day: A Pre-NewsRadio Joe Rogan Body Shot KO’s Some Fool With a Spinning Back Kick


(And to think, if Joe had done the same thing to Andy Dick, the world might have been spared the AIDS epidemic.) 

Do you remember the first time you came across that video of Joe Rogan teaching Georges St. Pierre the art of the spinning back kick? If so, you probably recall watching Rogan obliterate those heavy bags and quietly pondering to yourself, “My God, how many lives Rogan has claimed with that kick in the past?” And while we can’t attest to the exact number of trophy skulls lining the walls of Rogan’s humble abode, we can now confirm that there is at least one, which has likely been converted into a bubbler in the time since.

A video of Rogan in his Taekwondo heyday has been rounding MMA blogs for the past few days now, so in order to help distract you from the realization that your favorite sport is an absolute joke, we’ve thrown it after the jump. It is approximately 20 seconds long, features one strike, and may or may not cause you to shit your pants out of empathy for the poor bastard whose intestines are utterly annihilated with little more than a swivel of Rogan’s hips.

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Bellator 89 Results and Videos: Dantas KO’s Galvao to Defend Bantamweight Title, The ‘Rhino Era’ Continues


(Eduardo Dantas vs. Marcos Galvao video, via allthebestfights.com. Fight starts at the 1:48 mark)

So far, Eduardo Dantas‘s run in Bellator has been flawless. The aggressive Nova União member went 3-0 during the Season 5 bantamweight tournament in 2011, then choked out Zach Makovsky last year to win the promotion’s 135-pound title. Four months later, Dantas fooled around and got knocked out by American prospect Tyson Nam in an utterly meaningless fight for Shooto Brazil. (Bellator responded by threatening to sue Tyson Nam. Not a good look, guys.)

Last night’s Bellator 89 main event offered “DuDu” a shot at redemption, and fortunately, he rose to the occasion. Dantas made his first Bellator title defense against his teammate and former mentor Marcos Galvao, who won last year’s Season 6 bantamweight tourney. Dantas’s stiff jab and overall accuracy gave him the edge in the opening frame, and he turned up the heat even further in round 2, out-landing Galvao and rocking him with a head-kick. After a few more striking exchanges, Dantas found his kill-shot — a right-uppercut that buckled Galvao and sent him to the mat. A few more hammer-fists from the top, and it was lights out for the challenger.

Dantas was very emotional following the fight. “I’m sad and happy,” he said. “Sad because I had to fight my friend, and happy to still be champion of Bellator.” See? It’s not the end of the world, guys.

Bellator 89 also featured the Season 8 middleweight quarterfinals, which featured Bellator vets Brett Cooper and Dan Cramer picking up decision wins (over Norman Paraisy and Brian Rogers, respectively), as well as Russian newcomer Sultan Aliev out-pointing previously undefeated Mikkel Parlo. And let’s talk about Doug Marshall for a second, shall we? After showing up at Bellator 82 and KO’ing Kala Hose in 22 seconds, the former WEC light-heavyweight champ entered the middleweight bracket last night against Season 6 middleweight tournament finalist Andreas Spang, and knocked him out in just three minutes, adding another entry to the walkoff KO hall of fame. A couple more fights like this, and Marshall will have to change his nickname from “The Rhino” to “The White Hector Lombard.”

After the jump: Videos of the Marshall vs. Spang fight as well as a 15-second armbar from the prelims, and complete event results.

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