Before he scored three consecutive knockouts at UFC 2 — and way before he harpooned Butterbean at Yamma 1 — Patrick Smith was busy smashing fools in the sport karate circuit. This video (posted on the UG) was just too ridiculous/amazing not to share. Watch as Smith breaks some boards to fire himself up for the match, then executes a perfect side-kick to the balls / reverse-roundhouse combo to knock his opponent off the fighting stage, Bloodsport-style. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: ROBOTE IS THE STRONGEST.

After the jump: The full Torres/Tapia fight from last night.

From PRIDE Final Conflict (8/15/04), here’s one of Wanderlei Silva‘s nastiest finishes of all time. Soon after the fight’s one-minute mark, a sharp left-hook from Wandy knocks poor Yuki out, and the Axe-Murderer throws in six point-blank head-stomps just to make sure. Yeesh. Guest commentator Quinton Jackson got his wish to take another crack at Silva two months later — though we all know how that went. Will the third time be a charm at UFC 92 (December 27th, Las Vegas)? 

(If that’s not a man ready to be kissed, then everything I’ve learned watching "The Pick-Up Artist" is wrong.)

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva seems intent on proclaiming his innocence on the steroid charge all the way to Japan, where he faces Yoshihiro “Kiss” Nakao on January’s Sengoku card.  But don’t think he isn’t focused on his opponent’s not-so secret weapon.  If Nakao tries to put a little love on Silva’s lips, he’ll be in trouble.  At least I think that’s what this bizarre quote is meant to insinuate:

You need to be careful with the kisses too, huh?

Man, we are training this too. We’re training Jiu-Jitsu, Wrestling and that too (laughter), maintain a certain distance not to take that risk. My hands are kind of big and I’ll always take care not to get close. Who did once can do twice, I don’t want to have problems, I want to get there and fight. I don’t like jokes, I have no disinclination to any professional who I’d fought, and thank God I like all of them and they all liked me.

His hands are big?  This is related to kissing?  Did he mean lips or, I’ll just say it, head?  Who knows, but these translated interviews from Tatame are always fun to decipher.  I am a little disappointed to hear that Bigfoot doesn’t like jokes, though.  Has he heard the one about the boy who cried ‘false positive’?  You know what, nevermind.  I don’t think he’s in the mood for it.

As for whether Nakau will try and kiss him, the only advice I can offer is if you feel it, don’t be afraid to show it, man.  You don’t want to go through life wondering, ‘what if I had tried to kiss that big, weird-looking Brazilian guy?’  Trust me, it’s the worst kind of regret there is.

Urijah Faber wasn’t kidding when he said he was a happy person who loved life. Even as he admits that he doesn’t really remember what happened in his loss to Mike Brown on account of all the punches to his head, he still seems to be in a pretty pleasant mood in the post-fight press conference, captured here by ESPN.

Chael Sonnen, however, describes his fight with Paulo Filho as “like being in a dance with a partner who doesn’t know how to dance.” He also says he hasn’t received Filho’s belt, as promised, and he’s absolutely not above accepting it should they offer it, despite the weird circumstances.

After the jump, a couple special treats.

(‘Whaddaya say we also agree on no kicks to the legs. I just find those really annoying. Oh, and clinches, too. I hate getting someone else’s sweat on me.’)

The rumored bout between Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis and Chris Lytle is on for UFC 93 in Dublin, just as we all thought it would be. As part of his continuing campaign to form some sort of gentleman’s agreement with Lytle, Davis is suggesting that both men agree to stand and bang it out:

“We’ve both been like, ‘I respect you, respect what you do, but a fight between each other is money in the bank,’” said Davis about a fight with Lytle. “I basically said, ‘Yeah, let’s do it and the first guy to take the other guy down is a pussy.’”

Davis has been saying this since the summer, and he’s not the first to try and get his opponent to commit to some kind of unofficial rule alteration, but it’s starting to get a little weird. It’s cool that he wants to stand and strike. That will probably make for a very exciting fight. But since when did taking people down make you a pussy? Does that mean Randy Couture is the biggest pussy to ever set foot in the Octagon?

Davis should also consider that even if he can get Lytle to go along with this understanding that takedowns=pussy, that’s not exactly a binding agreement. In fact, you know when the best time is to shoot for a takedown? Right after you’ve said that you won’t. Call me a pussy, but I’ll be the pussy getting my hand raised at the end.

While UFC fans had their attention fixed on Chicago this weekend, there was another MMA card going down in Calgary on Saturday — Raw Combat Redemption — which featured a middleweight bout between Denis Kang and Marvin Eastman. As you can see in the above video, it only took 48 seconds (and one well-placed right hook) for the Super Korean to put the Beastman away. Now that’s how you end a main event, people. For full results from Redemption, hit up Sherdog. And if you can understand what the dude in the audience says at the beginning that makes everyone crack up, please let us know.

Dana White’s UFC 90 video blog 10/25/08 – Watch more free videos
(The final UFC 90 video blog installment, just to wrap it all up.)

Who’s up? Who’s down? Who’s baffling us all with his performance? Who got drunk after the fight and let his entourage talk him into thinking that he did really well? Don’t worry, we stayed up all weekend crunching the non-existent numbers, and here’s what we came up with.

Anderson Silva: -3

Okay, so “The Spider” did not improve his public image on Saturday night, but at the same time he didn’t look at all vulnerable. When the most prevalent criticism suggests he was toying with his opponent, which implies he could have put him away at will, what does that even mean for the champ’s status? The Index is befuddled, but it still believes Silva is the world’s best fighter, even on an off night.

Patrick Cote: +5.6

The only thing Cote proved was something we already suspected: he has a solid chin. This alone might have bumped him up higher if only he hadn’t been caught on film during a post-fight delusion of grandeur. You did not fuck anyone up. If your friends really cared about you, they would tell you that.

Junior Dos Santos: +378

The night’s biggest underdog scores the night’s only knockout, and a brutal one at that. Out of nowhere and into the heavyweight spotlight. We’ll need to see him again before we can be sure it wasn’t just a lucky punch, but preliminary indications suggest this guy might have a real future in the UFC.

What a bizarre night. If, like me, you can’t quite make sense of what you saw last night, the video above gives you another chance to sort through it all. What does it say when Bruce Buffer provides more intensity than the main event?

Bonus awards for UFC 90 were $65,000 a piece and it played out like this:

Fight of the Night: Sean Sherk and Tyson Griffin
Submission of the Night: Spencer Fisher
KO of the Night: Junior Dos Santos

Awarding bonuses this time around must have felt like a strange process. There were only two submissions (Thales Leites’ choke of McFedries was not impressive enough somehow) and one knockout, and picking a fight of the night had to be a lot like picking a favorite Arena League football team. Apparently 15,359 people showed up to be disappointed by the most unsatisfying UFC in recent memory, with a live gate totaling $2.85 million.

Dos Santos’ vicious knockout of Werdum is after the jump, along with the so-called fight of the night and more.

(Carwin looked impressive, but how about a tough opponent next?)

You’re wondering who’s up and who’s down after UFC 89. The Potato Index’s system of arbitrary numbers devoid of any unit of measurement will tell you. It’s kind of like the stock market, only less depressing. We spent all weekend doing the math and here’s what we came up with. You’re welcome.

Michael Bisping +16

“The Count” won a fight he was supposed to win. Via decision. He never took any chances, didn’t show anything extra special, but he fought smart and he got the win. As a reward, he gets the TUF coaching job and the fight with the Hendo/Ace winner that was already his anyway. At least he didn’t screw it up.

Brandon Vera -132

Once upon a time Vera was the heir apparent in the heavyweight division. Now he’s a mediocre light heavyweight who doesn’t even put on much of a show anymore. What happened? He’s no longer exciting or effective, and he’s far too conservative. He’s making too much money to be doing so little.

Chris Leben -8 1/2

Leben chased Michael Bisping for three rounds and only got a little frustrated and reckless toward the end. A sign of his maturity? Sure, but also a sign that middleweight gatekeeper is about as high as he can hope to climb. He’s still exciting, so he’s not going anywhere. He also won’t be back in the main event any time soon.

Joe Rogan’s tribute beard +18

Sounded a little hokey at first, but it turns out that facial hair can be an effective homage to a fallen champion.

Luis Cane +284

The biggest win of Cane’s career, by far, and one that should get him noticed by the UFC brass. We called his record padded before, but he added some meat to it on Saturday night.

(Oh. No. She. Didn’t.)

- Matt Lindland’s MMA career now fodder for political smear campaign. (MMA Payout)

- Dana White says Anderson Silva could fight GSP, but never B.J. Penn. (The Sun)

- Little Nog is headed to Japan again, this time for Sengoku. (Fight Ticker)

- Chris Horodecki considering a fight in Japan while he waits for Affliction II. (MMA Weekly)

- Tim Sylvia headed to Dream or Sengoku? Really? (Nightmare of Battle)

- Fedor could fight Arlovski next, or Barnett. Who knows!? (MMA Fanhouse)

- Chuck Liddell turned away from big shot nightclub, and he’s not pleased. (TMZ)

- Robert Drysdale talks MMA debut. (Tatame)

- A movie trailer that is better than most actual movies. (Holy Taco)

- Life after Lehman Brothers. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Seven most underrated hot chicks on TV. (Screen Junkies)

- Brtual broken bottle beatdown. (Nothing Toxic)

Gina Carano does her best to play down the various EliteXC controversies in this interview with Steve Cofield. They cover everything from her naked weigh-in (where maybe Jared Shaw tried to sneak a peek) to her very meager pay to the impending investigation into the Seth Petruzelli bonus fiasco to…wait a minute. Is that the national anthem playing in the background? Gina, did you carry on with the interview through the national fucking anthem? The goddamn Star-Spangled Banner!? Jesus, that’s worse than wearing a hat during it! And you call yourself an American Gladiator.

But on a serious note, where I get confused is where Carano says she’s actually happy that people know how little she made (1/20 of Kimbo’s purse, as Cofield points out) because now they’ll know she doesn’t do this for money. Now, I’m no high-powered sports agent, but I have to think that maybe it’s this attitude that’s the problem. It’s one thing to say you’re not only in this for the money, but this is your career. It’s not just about what you want; it’s about what’s fair. I’m sure there are plenty of up-and-coming women fighters who wish that you’d make this point to your employers a little more forcefully. Plus, maybe if you made more to fight you wouldn’t have to do all this other shit on the side. Just saying.

Below, check out a clip from Randy Couture‘s perfectly coiffured days as a wrestler. An extra special bonus surprise awaits you after the jump. Props to MMA Scraps for the find(s).

Dana White calls for EliteXC investigation – Watch more free videos

Dana White is downright pissed off. He’s so mad at EliteXC in this video, one camera angle is insufficient for capturing his rage. He lays into EliteXC for the Seth Petruzelli “knockout bonus” scandal and suggests that Jeremy Lappen and the Shaws should look into the kickboxing business if they want to keep fights off the ground so badly. I couldn’t agree more.

For his part, EliteXC Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen changes his story yet again in a talk with AOL Fanhouse. First, Lappen told Si.com that Petruzelli was offered a knockout bonus, but the company doesn’t offer submission bonuses. Then he told ESPN.com that Petruzelli was offered a KO bonus, a submission bonus, and a fight of the night bonus. Now he says both stories misquoted him:

“They’re both wrong,” Lappen said. “We have given submission bonuses in the past but they’re not as common as knockout bonuses. If the question is, ‘Have we ever given submission bonuses?’ The answer is yes. But we give knockout bonuses more often. We gave Seth a knockout bonus before the fight started. That was part of the deal.”

Hold up, you gave him a knockout bonus before the fight started? As in, before he had knocked anyone out? Goddammit Lappen, I sure as hell hope you were “misquoted” yet again. At the very least I hope it’s just poor phrasing on your part and what you meant to say was you told of him of a potential knockout bonus before the fight. But either way, it’s still bullshit. You offered him an incentive to win a fight in a very specific manner, not an incentive to simply finish the fight.

Not to mention, this is the third time you’ve changed your story. Nobody gets misquoted this often. Not unless they keep changing their story so often that they can’t keep all the versions straight in their own mind.

Andrei Arlovski vs. Roy Nelson – Watch more free videos

I have to say this for AOL Fanhouse’s Michael David Smith, when he sinks his teeth into something he doesn’t let go until he gets what he wants. While the rest of us have been stuck on this Seth Petruzelli situation, he was focused on a different aspect of Saturday’s EliteXC event. Seems that the odd stand-up in the Andrei Arlovski-Roy Nelson bout (see above, the stand-up comes at around the 4:27 mark) bothered Smith. So he kept after referee Jorge Ortiz until he got an answer:

“When I’m working a fight, they’re told in the locker room before the fight to keep working, continue the action moving,” Ortiz said. “Nelson did attempt the kimura. When he lost the kimura, at that point they had spent a good part of the round on the ground and I felt there wasn’t a reasonable attempt at a submission, at a finish. At that point I decided: Let’s get them up. Let’s see if he can improve the position, because in my opinion there wasn’t a reasonable attempt at finishing the fight.”

“In my opinion he wasn’t active enough,” Ortiz said. “I thought he needed to be more aggressive on the ground to attempt to finish the fight, and when I feel the action is at a point where it’s stale and it’s not going anywhere, at that point is where I decide to change it up and get something going here.”

Of course, what he “got going” was a stand-up fight that was most definitely more in Arlovski’s favor than Nelson’s. That’s not to say that Nelson would have won without the stand-up, but he had achieved a dominant position on the mat with plenty of time left in the round.

“Big Country”, as you might imagine, was also none too pleased with the stand-up when I called him earlier this week to ask what he was thinking when Ortiz brought the fighters back to their feet.

(What bonus?)

Benji Radach led off the CBS portion of Elite XC: Heat with an exciting second-round knockout of “Ninja” Rua, but says he was never informed by Elite XC officials before the bout that there was even the possibility of a ‘knockout of the night’ bonus, as Seth Petruzelli says he received for felling Kimbo Slice.

“No, not at all,” Radach said, when asked whether Elite XC officials ever mentioned knockout, submission, or fight of the night bonuses, before or after the event. “I wish there was a bonus because I think my fight was really exciting, maybe fight of the night or knockout of the night. But nope, I never heard anything.”

This contradicts Petruzelli’s claim that Elite XC mentioned the post-fight bonuses before the event, which caused him to stand and strike with Kimbo in the hopes of notching the knockout of the night.

That clarification came after Petruzelli seemed to suggest, during a radio interview with Monsters in the Morning, that he’d been paid extra by Elite XC to keep the fight with Kimbo standing. Petruzelli then said the extra money was simply for a knockout bonus, and was for the same amount as the submission of the night and fight of the night bonuses.

There’s been as of yet no word from Elite XC on which fighters received these other bonuses, just as there has been little mention of these bonuses in past Elite XC events.

Update: Elite XC’s Jeremy Lappen tells Josh Gross that some fighter contracts have KO bonuses built into them and some don’t. Submission bonuses, however, are a myth in Elite XC:

“We’re just trying to create exciting fights,” Lappen said, doing some spinning of his own. “Fast-paced energy fights. It’s just something we’ve always done.”

EliteXC, it seems, does not view submissions, widely thought of as the most technical aspect of MMA, as an overly important portion of an exciting fight.

“We don’t give submission bonuses,” Lappen said. But Petruzelli “knew a knockout bonus was possible before the fight.”

(Photo courtesy of MMA Junkie.)

Seth Petruzelli can’t understand why all you internet conspiracy theorists might possibly think that Elite XC paid him extra to stand and bang with Kimbo Slice rather than take him down. What a crazy notion. All he did was go on a radio show and say:

The promoters kinda hinted to me, and they gave me the money to stand and trade with him. They didn’t want me to take him down. Let’s just put it that way. It was worth my while to try and stand up and punch with him.

Oh crap. That sounds like he said exactly what he’s now saying that he didn’t say. Don’t worry, Sam Caplan sat down with Petruzelli to help him sort it all out. Among the revelations in the full Five Ounces of Pain interview with Petruzelli: he’d been drinking all night before making those comments on that radio show, but still feels like he “worded it perfectly” (so why mention the drinking at all?), the extra money was just for a knockout bonus, and he feels the whole thing has been blown out of proportion.

Petruzelli explains it was all on the up-and-up, but something doesn’t sound right.

Finland took on South Korea in the third installment of the M-1 Challenge on HDNet, and the one who really shines in this highlight video recap is the announcer who’s tasked with pronouncing the plethora of difficult names. That guy is a pro. Finland turns out to have some tough bastards on their team from the looks of it. South Korea, on the other hand, has one totally awesome and very happy ass-kicker in the form of Hyun-Gyu Lim. That one guy might not be enough to win the M-1 Challenge for them, but dammit, his enthusiasm is downright infectious.

After the jump check out Inside MMA from Strikeforce: Payback in Colorado. A little after the ten-minute mark they talk with Frank Trigg. I dare you to watch it and pay attention to anything other than his ear. No, fuck that. I double dare you.

(P.S. Bas Rutten also interviews Kimbo Slice before his fight with Ken Shamrock, or so he thought. Ever the seer, Kimbo advises us not to blink. Oh, irony. You cruel bitch.)

(CNBC’s sports business readers aren’t an optimistic bunch.)

As the Kimbo Slice backlash pendulum swings to and fro in the days following his defeat, we find ourselves asking what lingering affect Slice’s fourteen-second performance might have on the MMA landscape. The good news, some MMA pundits tell us, is that people are talking. They’re covering Kimbo Slice on ESPN. They’re talking about him in the mainstream news media. There is a buzz, in other words, thanks to Elite XC and Kimbo Slice.

And that’s nice, except for when you stop to listen to what these people are actually saying. CNBC’s sports business guru Darren Rovell, put it thusly:

…[T]his will turn out to be a great case study in sports marketing.

You have a really marketable asset in a guy like Kimbo Slice. The problem is, he’s a good street fighter against normal guys. He’s just not that good of an MMA fighter. So you know that he has to continue to win, but there aren’t enough weak guys for him to fight. In fact, as was proven in Petruzelli, a decent guy can beat him. The other problem is that you can only fix the results if the guy makes it to three rounds, which you’re never guaranteed. Slice couldn’t have won on Saturday night. He was getting pounded. Mike Tyson was Mike Tyson because he really was a talented fighter, along with all the weird baggage that we loved.

An astute analysis, even if we were sick of the Kimbo Slice/Mike Tyson comparisons months ago. But Gravell, who wrote about how drawn he was to Kimbo’s persona and backstory when he fought on the first CBS show, seems to have come to the realization that it was all hype. Which should be encouraging, because it means that maybe the people who were drawn to the sport because of the Kimbo buzz will not abandon it now that they realize he’s far from the best MMA has to offer.

NBC Sports’ resident MMA expert Mike Chiapetta says Kimbo’s loss is no good for anybody in MMA, no matter what we might say to the contrary:

Now we know why Kimbo Slice didn’t seem too bothered by his fourteen-second loss at Elite XC: Heat. Turns out he made half a million dollars for his brief night of work. That works out to $35,714.29 per second of cage time for Kimbo, which is an even better per second salary than Tim Sylvia received for his thirty-six-second loss to Fedor Emelianenko ($22,222.22, in case you’re curious).

It’s an especially impressive take when you consider that the live gate from Elite XC’s Ft. Lauderdale show was only $826,000. The only other fighter on the night to match Kimbo’s total was Andrei Arlovski, who was also paid $500,000 for his victory over Roy Nelson, though Affliction picked up the tab for both of them.

The full disclosed payout from Elite XC: Heat looks like this:

Kimbo Slice: $500,000
Seth Petruzelli: $50,000 (including a $15,000 win bonus)
Jake Shields: $50,000 (including $10,000 win bonus)
Paul Daley: $12,000
Andrei Arlvoski: $500,000
Roy Nelson: $80,000
Gina Carano: $25,000 (including $10,000 win bonus)
Kelly Kobald: $6,000
Benji Radach: $30,000 (including $15,000 win bonus)
“Ninja” Rua: $35,000

(Even Hulk Hogan finds that behavior boorish. Thanks, MMA Core.)

As you can see, Elite XC VP Jared Shaw is very passionate about the rules. Almost fanatically so. That’s why when he saw what he perceived to be an illegal blow to the back of Kimbo Slice‘s head, he couldn’t contain himself. He jumped up and went screaming to the side of the cage, imploring the referee to give Kimbo a Frank Mir-type rescue. Fortunately he stopped just short of leaping over the cage and covering Kimbo with his own body like a human $kala shield.

Now that he’s had a chance to cool down, he admits he may have overreacted. Shaw told MMA Rated:

“I watched the tape back today,” Shaw said. “While I think that the ref may have missed the (blow to the back of the head) call, my reactions at ringside – I saw them myself – were inappropriate and inexcusable.

“I apologize to the MMA community and the fans and most of all Seth Petruzelli as although my reactions can not change a referee’s decision, they were inappropriate at the time and over a heated and tense mixed martial arts event.”

“Again, I apologize to the community,” Shaw repeated. “I am all for fair mixed martial arts fighting and I am very happy to represent Seth Petruzelli.”

Well, at least Shaw is big enough to admit when he’s wrong. You can understand how a man being forced to watch his meal ticket unceremoniously felled like that could lose control of his emotions. As impressive as his desire for fair competition is, it’s hard to imagine Shaw mustering the same enthusiasm for a protest if the situation had been reversed and it were Petruzelli who caught a hammer fist in the back of the dome. Although that could change now that Elite XC is in the Seth “Rocky” Petruzelli business. I hear he’s a very promotable guy.

(Just another day in the organization for Jared Shaw. Props: Steve Cofield.)

The Kimbo Slice fairy tale is over now. At least it ought to be. The “street certified” brawler got himself knocked out in fourteen seconds by a guy who calls himself a “part-time fighter.” A guy who isn’t in the same weight class and isn’t thought of as anything more than a mediocre also-ran in the weight class he normally calls home. To call this a worst case scenario for Elite XC is putting it too mildly. This is an absolute disaster. Which means, of course, that they will now try to convince us that it is not.

Announcer Mauro Ranallo got that ball rolling almost immediately after the fight by suggesting that this should be considered a “mulligan” for Kimbo, since he didn’t plan on fighting Petruzelli. Do we dare mention that Petruzelli also didn’t plan on fighting Kimbo, a heavyweight, in the main event? Apparently not. Instead we start playing up the predictable Rocky Balboa angle, forgetting for the moment that Rocky fought Apollo Creed, the world champion. Unlike Kimbo, the fictional Apollo was both style and substance, and he didn’t go down to a tentative jab.

This is the point where Elite XC makes excuses for Kimbo and tells us that a star is born in Petruzelli. Just watch Jared Shaw working from this script in his interview with Ariel Helwani and see if you don’t find yourself feeling a little sorry for him. His cringe-worthy performance includes transparent lies such as, “it’s just another day in the organization,” and “(Pertruzelli) is a very promotable guy; everybody in this sport is promotable,” and my personal favorite, “we’re gathering all our other nuts.”

This, from the same guy who could be seen having a total meltdown at cageside while Kimbo was getting pounded out on live network TV.

The person who seemed least bothered by last night’s events was Kimbo Slice himself. He hyped his after-party in the post-fight interview and showed up forty-five minutes late to the press conference, where he interrupted Elite XC Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen and made a very brief statement, laughing about his swollen eye, and then disappeared again.

Kimbo Slice faces light heavyweight Seth Petruzelli, the man with the devastating front kick/jab combo. Relive the magic again and again. Things to take note of:

1) Kimbo’s tough guy act when he refuses to touch gloves.

2) Kimbo going face first onto the canvas a few seconds later.

3) At about the 0:57 mark, if you’re quick you can see Elite XC VP Jared Shaw at cageside screaming his head off at the referee, like any impartial promoter would surely do in that situation.

What a night. After the event Shaw spoke about that moment with MMA Rated, and even mentioned the possibility of a protest stemming from blows to the back of the head. That sounds fun. Videos of the evening’s other bouts are after the jump, courtesy of MMA-Core.

We all know that Ken Shamrock has only one chance when he faces Kimbo Slice at ‘Elite XC: Heat’ on CBS this Saturday night, and that’s to get the fight to the ground and hope Kimbo’s ground game is still as bad as it looked against James Thompson. According to Kimbo, however, it just looked like he had no idea what he was doing on the mat in that fight:

“Against Thompson I learned that no matter what happens, nothing will hurt me,” Slice said. “It’s mind over matter. Mentally, I knew I was alright. It may have looked like I was in trouble, but I was fine. It’s mind over matter.”

Really? Mind over matter? That’s what he took away from that fight? Call me crazy, but just because Kimbo weathered a couple minutes worth of ineffectual elbow strikes from the decidedly mediocre Thompson, that might not be reason to believe that nothing will hurt him.

‘Conditioning and takedown defense’ might not be as cool a slogan as ‘mind over matter,’ but it would be a much better approach for Kimbo. Lucky for him both Shamrock’s mind and matter are equally weakened with age and accumulated beatdowns.

(Oh, Chuck! Not in the cake, man!)

Over at the UG some users have straight-up crazy Photoshop skillz, kid. Fortunately, they’ve put them to good use in light of the Rashad Evans-Chuck Liddell fight at UFC 88. Some of them are sloppy, some are downright offensive, and others are surprisingly well-done and imaginative. The one you see above, done by SkeetersMMA, is really on a whole other level. Work like this deserves recognition. Consider this a tip of the old CP cap, Skeeters.

A few honorable mentions are after the jump.

(“Semtex” makes sure photographers get a shot of his good fist.)

As you may have already forgotten, Elite XC’s next show on CBS is now less than a month away. They don’t seem too concerned with stuff like advertising or hyping it in the press, and are apparently relying on the Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock buzz to carry them through without much promotion. Kind of a ‘If you build a squash match, they will come’ type of attitude.

But thank God for Paul Daley. The now-I’m-retired-now-I’m-not UK fighter seems to be the only one really putting some effort into selling this thing. When discussing his bout with Elite XC welterweight champ Jake Shields, “Semtex” was, shall we say, forthcoming with his opinions:

He won’t remember much…just waking up I guess. I’m gonna be real mean in this fight, fuck Jake Shields, you’re going to see. I am stronger, I hit harder, I take punishment and he will not take me down, or hold me there for long if I make a mistake. This is gonna be a shock to those Jake Shields nut huggers. Once I am in that top ten, I’m coming after everyone above me….

I’m so pumped for the fight that I feel something is gonna go wrong, like he is gonna pull out or something…scared…I would if I was him. He don’t know what’s coming.

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(‘Heyyyyyy.’)

Now that he’s finally injury-free and ready to fight, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua is setting his sights high for his return to the Octagon. Rua told Fighters Only that he’d like to be the first to beat Rashad Evans following his impressive knockout of Chuck Liddell over the weekend:

“Rashad fought the perfect fight, he obviously studied Chuck and worked hard on his game plan,” he said. “He may be undefeated but everyone is there to be beaten and I would like to be the first one to do it.”

Of course if he can’t get that fight, he’ll take Rich Franklin, who’s also coming off a win. Apparently “Shogun” is not deterred by the fact that he’s coming back from a long injury layoff, or that his last time out didn’t go so well. Maybe it might be a better idea to ease back into it. I hear Matt Hamill’s schedule is pretty open.

- In other Brazilian fighter news, UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva told Tatame that there is absolutely no chance of him facing WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho even after the heavier weight classes are absorbed into the UFC. Silva called Filho “the best middleweight,” saying “there’s nobody to beat him.”

It probably helps that they’re buds:

“I would never fight with Paulão. We almost train together, we’re always helping each other and (Josuel) Distak is our coach. There’s no chance to happen. People can complain, scream, whatever, but it won’t happen.”

You heard the man. You might as well stop your constant complaining and screaming for Silva-Filho, because it ain’t happening. Just let it go and move on with your life. Somehow.

(Update: the embed code turns out to be an empty promise, but here’s the link to the reunion show clip.)

This Saturday, September 13 Spike TV is airing a TUF 1 marathon and special reunion show. As you can see from the clip, some of those old rivalries haven’t been forgotten. Give Joe Rogan some credit, he doesn’t shy away from asking Bobby Southworth whether he felt bad about the whole ‘fatherless bastard’ remark. We don’t get to see his answer in this clip, but let’s hope it’s yes.

Check out Dana White’s closing video blog entry for UFC 88 after the jump. They’ve apparently decided to go with quantity over quality, as this is the longest one yet. For some real fun, skip to the 9:00 mark to see Chuck Liddell‘s pre-fight preparations, which tells you a lot about what kind of fight he was expecting. Afterwards Dana has to corral Rashad Evans‘ wife while simultaneously stopping Chuck Liddell and John Hackleman from jetting out of the Octagon. That’s a hard-working man, right there.

(Props: MMA-Core.)

If you thought there was something familiar about the way Chuck Liddell got himself knocked out against Rashad Evans, you’re right. It’s almost the exact same scenario that precipitated his loss to Rampage Jackson: Liddell throws an uppercut while not troubling himself to defend his chin, Liddell eats a hard right counter, Liddell goes down and Dana White gets sad. It’s almost enough to make you wonder if fighting with your hands nowhere near your face isn’t such a good idea. You know, because there’s always that slim possibility that your opponent might also decide to throw some punches.

Fortunately, Liddell is starting to ask himself the hard questions:

“I guess that’s a bad habit,” Liddell said. “I see that shot and I land it a lot, but I guess I leave myself open when I throw it. I need to get back in there and stop doing it. It’s something to work on.”

Well, that only took two knockout losses for him to realize. At this rate he’ll be able to figure out where he went wrong against Keith Jardine and avenge that loss some time in early 2010. Will he still be in the game by then? Hard to say. Liddell said he would “take a little time” after this loss, but added, “I’ve always said that when I retire, I’ll decide in the training room and not after a fight.”

Maybe that’s why he intends to stay out of the training room for a while.

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

- Do some UFC 88 pre-partying with Randy Couture. (Xtreme Couture)

- Mario Sperry betting on a Palhares victory, literally. (Tatame)

- Stone Cold Steve Austin breaks down Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock. (YouTube)

- Arguing over UFC 88, Randy’s return, and more. (MMA Rated)

- Martin Kampmann is ready to “kick ass.” (MMA Mania)

- Brock Lesnar got jokes. (Steve Cofield)

- One punch KO’s bully. (Nothing Toxic)

- Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates team up to produce something…strange. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Sarah Palin steps up to the mic. (Holy Taco)

- 11 craziest Ann Coulter moments. (Screen Junkies)

Drew Fickett vs. Richard Villes – Watch more free videos

Drew Ficket has fallen on hard times lately. I don’t say that simply because he lost this weekend to Richard Villes via a TKO stoppage that he seems to think was completely unjustified. I say that because he lost to Richard Villes in Rage in the Cage, which is clearly no Strikeforce, nor is it MFC — both organizations Fickett ran afoul of when he tried to violate his contract.

Just check the video to see what I mean. Note the “And 1 Mixtape Tour” vibe from the announcer, the woman (Villes girlfriend? wife? mom?) screaming throughout the entire fight, and the super slo-mo ring girl shot at the 4:39 mark. Someone rocked their high school AV club.

Fickett seemed to be in control of the fight until a failed shot that was followed by a good knee from Villes that was in turn followed by Fickett eating leather for the next thirty seconds. He’s moving the whole time, looking fairly alert, but offering no offense or even much of an effective defense. When the referee finally moves in to stop it, he pops right up to his feet to complain. This is sort of like fouling someone in basketball and then immediately putting your hands up, as if to show that you couldn’t possibly have done anything wrong. In other words, it never works.

Fickett doesn’t look like he’s too beat up afterwards, but if you lay on your back getting punched in the face for that long, you really can’t be too surprised when the ref stops it. Especially if you’ve been in the game as long as Fickett.

In this MMA Rated interview with Heath Herring, he makes it plain that he is not expecting a new and improved Brock Lesnar at UFC 87 this Saturday night. He also seems to think it’s funny that Frank Mir will fight for the heavyweight title next after beating Lesnar, while he beat Cheick Kongo and somehow ends up taking a step back. Maybe the fact that he’s already been beaten three times by the reigning champ played a part in that decision.

Never one to miss a chance at a light-hearted ending (see also: How’s taste my pee-pee-pee and How’s taste my big pee-pee), Ariel Helwani just has to revisit Herring’s infamous staredown knockout of Yoshihiro Nakao at the end of this interview. Herring laughs it off, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t serious about not wanting to be kissed. Just ask Nakao.