Here’s the thing: when Carlos Condit (currently ranked #9 in the world at welterweight in the ultra-official Cage Potato Power Rankings) says to you before a sparring session, “Hit me as hard as you want to get hit,” it may not be the best idea to go out there and unload on him with your best right hand. Not unless you want to feel his retaliation in the form of a head kick-right straight combo that will put you on your ass.

At the same time, it is pretty awesome. When that dude wakes up, someone should buy him a beer.

(Looks like Jesse Taylor picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

The UFC’s always fluctuating end-of-night bonuses totaled $25,000 apiece for Saturday’s “Silva vs. Irvin” event. The four lucky men who left the Palms one-fortieth of a million dollars richer are…

Knockout of the Night: Rory Markham for his skull-crushing head-kick KO of Brodie Farber.
Submission of the Night: CB Dollaway for his “Peruvian Necktie” choke of fellow TUF 7 castmember Jesse Taylor.
Fight of the Night: Frankie Edgar and Hermes Franca for their three-round tussle that Edgar took unanimously thanks to his takedowns and GnP.

The must-see Markham/Farber knockout is below, and the Dollaway/Taylor scrap is after the jump — and we threw in Cain Velasquez’s beatdown of Jake O’Brien for good measure. (If you find a working link for Edgar/Franca, please post it in the comments section.) Serious props to MMA TKO.

Videos removed by request…

CagePotato reader “Facey” put together this highlight video featuring MMA’s biggest stars showing little regard for the health of their opponents. From Wanderlei Silva knocking Sakuraba and Jardine dead, to Yves Edwards’s ninja-kick KO of Josh Thomson, to Chuck Liddell beating down Tito Ortiz, to “the Randleplex” — it’s pretty much the only knockout compilation you’ll ever need. If you dig it, let him know in the comments section below or at its original home on Break.com

Break got a cease and desist letter for this one! So here’s another just as good knockout comp from Facey, that for now is living comfortably on YouTube. Enjoy.

Phil Baroni’s first match as a welterweight was a resounding success, as the New York Badass dominated Scott Jansen to a first-round knockout victory at Cage Rage 27 last night in London. Unexpectedly, Baroni quickly got the fight to the ground, scoring a smooth double-leg takedown shortly after the bell and effortlessly controlling Jansen from the top. After an armlock attempt didn’t pan out, Baroni moved to full mount, but both men were quickly ordered to their feet by the ref. Baroni then reverted back to his bread and butter, turning out Jansen’s lights with a perfect right hook; Baroni returned after the stoppage to shake the hand of his still-sleeping opponent.

About thirty seconds later, Baroni made the mistake of going back again to check on Jansen, and one of Jansen’s cornermen responded by headbutting him — or “nutting” him, as the commentators colorfully put it. (“Wot’a dizgrace.”) The headbutter conveniently disappeared after the confrontation, while Baroni scored big-time respect points for not chasing him down and tearing his dumb ass apart. Video of the fight and post-fight assault is above; the questionable ref standup is at 3:36, the knockout punch is at 3:58, and the headbutt is at 4:45. Baroni competes next at Icon Sport: Hard Times (August 2, Honolulu), where he’ll face 3-5 Jesus Is Lord jobber Ron Verdadero.

In other action at Cage Rage 27, Neil Grove defeated Robert Berry in their rematch, stopping “Buzz” via strikes in the second round, while Mustapha Al Turk scored a first-round ground-and-pound TKO over James McSweeney to win the Cage Rage British heavyweight title. Full results are after the jump.

Get ‘em while they last…

(Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Justin McCully)

(Melvin Guillard vs. Dennis Siver)

Props to MMAFightGirls for digging up this footage of a violent confrontation between a group of hoodlums in a Russian supermarket and the store’s well-trained staff of ninjas. One of the punks makes the mistake of throwing the first punch at one of the blue-jacketed security guards, and is immediately dealt with. Following all the action requires multiple viewings, but we’d just like to point out that the guy who scores the one-punch knockout at the 0:30 mark is the same dude who scores the one-punch knockout at the 0:48 mark. Gary Shaw, get this man a contract!

Richard at TheMMAPost passed along this video of a Pancrase fight between Alavutdin Gadzhiyev (who Ralek Gracie defeated via armbar at DREAM.4) and Hikaru Sato, which contains a finish that’s just about as rare as the Aokiplata — a knockout from underneath mount. Skip to 2:27 to get to the good stuff. Yeesh…glass jaw, much?

Recently dug up by MMA Scraps, here’s the video of a totally bald Brett Rogers winning the vacant EFX heavyweight championship in February ’07 by knocking out Josh Melichar in 9 seconds. Whoever that announcer is, he’s giving Scott Ferrall a run for his money. (“Are you ready to crank it ahhhhhhhhh, BAY-BAYYYYY!”) Another, somewhat less impressive performance by “The Grim” is after the jump.

Well, one more of these and it’s a full-blown epidemic. At King of the Cage “Opposing Force” on May 15th — just one day before Shaun Parker and Tyler Bryan exchanged simultaneous knockout punches at LFC 25 — Anthony Lapsley and Aaron Wetherspoon’s match also ended with both guys getting their lights turned out. Near the beginning of the second round, Lapsley cranked Wetherspoon with a perfect right straight, but clashed heads with his opponent on the way in. As they both hit the mat, referee Herb “I’m Getting Too Old for This Shit” Dean patiently waited for somebody to get up. Despite the fact that the dazed Lapsley immediately started making the “no mas” hand signal, the fight was ruled a no-contest.

Get ‘em while they last…

BJ Penn vs. Sean Sherk

Wanderlei Silva vs. Keith Jardine (Knockout of the Night)

Rousimar Palhares vs. Ivan Salaverry (Submission of the Night)

(Shaun Parker vs Tyler Bryan @ LFC 25. You can’t make this stuff up. Props to MMAScraps)

(From The Iron Ring: Some dude tries to secure an armbar and gets his head dribbled.)

We’ll kick things off with Kiyoshi Tamura’s quick demolition of Masakatsu Funaki, which turned out to be the night’s only stoppage-by-strikes (action starts at the 1:17 mark). More vids after the jump; for a recap of the event, click here.

UPDATE: All the broken vids have been replaced…hopefully this batch will last a bit longer.

As we approach the big showdown on Saturday night, here’s some lesser-known Georges St. Pierre fights to get you in the mood. First, it’s St. Pierre’s second Octagon appearance at UFC 48, where he beats down current IFL welterweight champ Jay Hieron in under two minutes. Next, it’s GSP’s first pro fight, where Rush staves off the scrappy Ivan Menjivar to score a very questionable TKO via verbal tapout at the end of the first round. And finally, it’s the “GoldenPalace.com” TKO fight against Dave Strasser, which St. Pierre took after his first career loss (vs. Matt Hughes at UFC 50); lovely half-guard to side-control pass at 5:11 and the fight-ending kimura is just as slick.

(GSP vs. Jay Hieron, UFC 48, 6/19/04)

(GSP vs. Ivan Menjivar, UCC 7, 1/25/02; fight starts at the 4:06 mark)

(GSP vs. Dave Strasser, TKO 19, 1/29/05; fight starts at the 3:57 mark)

Props: MMAScraps

(Dan with mentor Matt Serra and some randoms. Photo courtesy of SimmlerBJJ.com.)

Apparently, Ultimate Fighter 7 knockout victim Dan Simmler regularly posts under the name “Macaco_Louco” on NHBGear.com‘s MMA forum. Simmler typed up his reaction to last night’s TUF episode directly after it aired, and posted it on this thread:

Hey,

So that wasnt as bad as I thought, I honestly didnt remember much. I found it kind of funny actually that I had no idea where I was.

I dont remember the flying whatever that was, I think triangle, and I dont remember anything else pretty much either.

The fiirst thing I remember was at the hostpital. So, I have a deviated septum in my nose, cant breath good at all with out a breath right strip, I had one on and right before my fight, I was told I couldnt wear it. I wasnt given a good reason, just that I couldnt, so as a result, I was breathing through my mouth the whole time, that just made things worse when I got hit. My mouth was wide open and I broke my jaw in three places. two on the left, one on the right. It was very painful to say the least.

One week after I got home to the day I decided I was going to train “Light” with a student, and I took his back and he pushed off and his head smashed me under the jaw with the back of his head, rebreaking the jaw. The hostpital is literally across the street from the school and I was kept over night and had surgery the next day. They put two small plates, 4 screws and wires back to keep it shut. For a little over 7 weeks I had nothing but shakes and tomato soup. It was horrible. I lost about 20 lbs and now I am waiting to get the ok to spar and get back to the grind. Ill be back and do better.

I am sorry that I couldnt have done better, I was happy to get it over with and see what I did and what mistakes I made and where I can improve. Thanks for the support…

The UFC did pick up the tab for the injuries, they didnt have too but they did and I was greatful for that.

As for the punch, the original broke the left side of my jaw , the next to broke in two spots on the other side. The jaw broke on both sides at the wisdom teeth and on hte right side by the hinge. Sucked but it happens. Thanks for the good words.

The saddest part? Before the knockout, Dan could spell perfectly.

Anyway, to prove that Simmler isn’t just some pussy-ass poser, here’s a video of him actually pulling off the flying-triangle that he tried to finish Matthew Riddle with last night:

Wagnney Fabiano defended his featherweight belt in shocking fashion at Friday night’s IFL event, first blasting out Shad Lierley’s legs with a low kick, then knocking him into last week with an overhand right. The knockout was only his second KO in 11 pro fights; Fabiano won his last five via submission. Action starts at the vid’s 1:40 mark.

We should be able to post more UFN 13 fight vids soon, but here’s a couple to tide you over. Check ‘em out quick before they’re pulled.

James Irvin vs. Houston Alexander (fight starts at the 2:02 mark)

Nate Diaz vs. Kurt Pellegrino (fight starts at 1:37; “look fuckers, no hands” choke starts at 9:44)

Though they’ll be fighting in separate matches tonight, Brian Stann and Steve Cantwell previously faced off at WEC 26 (3/24/07), in a match that was stopped a little too early for Cantwell’s tastes. Check it out below for a preview of what Stann will be bringing to the Rhino in their title fight.

Bonus #1: The end of Doug Marshall’s first WEC title defense against Justin McElfresh, which was stopped at 2:16 of the first round.

Bonus #2: Blas Avena’s 29-second choke-out of Joe Benoit at WEC 30. Avena (2-1) takes on Hiromitsu Miura (8-4) tonight in a middleweight matchup.

Here’s the five-round stomp-n’-wheeze from Saturday night’s ICON Sport “To Hell and Back” event, where Kala Kolohe Hose overcame Phil Baroni’s soccer kicks (and breathtaking glam-guido ring entrance) to win the middleweight title. Major props to our new blood brothers at MMAVideosOnline for the hookup.

Part 1

Part 2

From Saturday…

Mirko Cro Cop steamrolls Tatsuya Mizuno in 56 seconds.

The night’s freak-show feature: “Minowaman” taps out doughy Korean ex-baseball player Lee Kwan via kneebar.

Kala Kolohe Hose roasted Phil Baroni like a pig at a luau (take that, Ranallo) last night at the Neal S. Blaisdell Arena in Honolulu, defeating the “New York Bad Ass” via TKO due to punches early into the fifth round and winning ICON Sport’s middleweight title. Baroni was dominant in the first round, taking the Hawaiian brawler to the mat right away and brutalizing him with strikes from the top. But Hose managed to hang in, and Baroni appeared gassed for the rest of the fight. In the second round, after Hose was warned for striking Baroni in the back of the head, Baroni leaned over with his hands on his knees and desperately sucked air; in the third round, he came out with his hands down. Hose pounded on Baroni through the third and fourth rounds, and at one point during the fourth, Baroni actually crawled under the bottom rope to escape the onslaught; he was deducted a point. Hose put Baroni out of his misery in the fifth, dropping the NYBA with a punch and finishing him on the ground. The fight was called at the 0:26 mark.

Baroni was attended to by paramedics before being taken to a hospital. As Baroni’s manager Ken Pavia told Sherdog, “Phil’s alert, he’s responsive. It was a tough fight, but he’ll physically be OK…I guess perhaps we underestimated his ability to get in shape in a short period of time, [Baroni] didn’t have it in the gas tank for five and Kala came up and fought a great fight.” Hose, who increased his record to 6-1, called the match “the best fight of my life.” Logically, his first title defense should be against former champion Robbie Lawler as soon as Lawler can get healthy.

We hadn’t heard of any of the other 24 fighters on the “To Hell and Back” card, but if you’re interested in the results, they’re after the jump.

He’s dumped roommates in garbage cans and flame-broiled cockblockers. But in this episode, Kimbo Slice deals with an office lunch-stealer through the power of conversation. (Spoiler alert: Just kidding!)

From a Shooto event called “Shooting Disco 4: Born in the Fighting” (!!!), held on February 23rd. If you don’t have time to sit through all 137 seconds of this fight, just jump to the video’s 2:14 mark and brace yourself. Live by the leg-scissor choke, die by the leg-scissor choke. Great photo of the uncomfortable-looking moment of impact here…

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

Man, what a fucking mess. If there was any debate as to whether Ken Shamrock should retire, his Cage Rage appearance last night settled it. Check out the 3:54 mark of the video, as Ken takes a glancing jab and a right hook to his glove, then flops over sideways, Bo Cantrell-style. At this point, it’s hard to imagine any professional heavyweight that Ken has the tools to beat. At the very least, he should have to change his nickname from “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” to “The Third Most Dangerous Shamrock” (after Frank and Frank’s wife).

Even if he’s given the medical clearance to fight next month it’s doubtful that EliteXC will still want to book Ken to get eaten up by Kimbo Slice on their CBS debut. Problem is, he was the most marketable option for Kimbo’s next opponent. Will Slice vs. Berry draw the amount of eyes that Shaw & Co. need for their first network television show? Maybe, maybe not. But any hope for a blockbuster “superfight” just buckled like Ken’s ever-wobbly legs.

(Andrei Arlovski could be one paid motherfucker tomorrow.)

Our monthly roundup in which we express fight predictions via the UFC’s customary “Of the Night” payouts. Last time didn’t go so hot, but we have a good feeling about UFC 82. Again, here’s the lineup:

MAIN CARD
Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson
Heath Herring vs. Cheick Kongo
Chris Leben vs. Alessio Sakara
Yushin Okami vs. Evan Tanner
Jon Fitch vs. Chris Wilson

PRELIMINARY CARD
Andrei Arlovski vs. Jake O’Brien
Luke Cummo vs. Luigi Fioravanti
Josh Koscheck vs. Dustin Hazelett
Diego Sanchez vs. David Bielkheden
Jorge Gurgel vs. John Halverson

Fight of the Night: How could it not be Silva vs. Henderson? It’s rare that the Octagon hosts this much combined talent. We see this one going into the championship rounds, with both men pounding the hell out of each other along the way. As you know, we’re leaning toward Silva.

Knockout of the Night: Andrei Arlovski. Other MMA pundits have said that the undefeated O’Brien will grind his way to a lay-and-pray victory, but Arlovski is coming into this fight with the combined rage of 10,000 insulted Soviets, and he’ll be looking to prove that undercards are beneath him. There’s a chance this could be his last fight for the UFC, so putting an exclamation point at the end of his Octagon career would be a priority; we’ll say KO/TKO, round 2. Dark horse: Jon Fitch. His fight against Chris Wilson may look like a mismatch, but Wilson’s ground skills are underrated. Still, we see Fitch putting Wilson out on his feet early.

Submission of the Night: Josh Koscheck. Speaking of mismatches…Koscheck’s recent performances haven’t been awe-inspiring, and he knows he needs a dramatic win against the gift-wrapped Dustin Hazelett, who’s never faced an opponent as skilled as Kos; it’s looking like a first-round armbar. Dark horse: Sanchez over Bielkheden. Same deal as with Koscheck — Bielkheden is being brought in for his UFC debut to build Sanchez’s confidence, and on paper, Sanchez’s ground game scores much higher. But if Ali Sonoma is still fucking with his concentration, we’ll stop short of saying this is a guaranteed win for Nightmare…

See it differently? Let us know in the comments…

Arguably the best fight from the best fight card of 2007: Dan Henderson’s romper-stomper against Wanderlei Silva for the middleweight title at PRIDE 33, last February 24th in Las Vegas. If you’re calling the Silva/Henderson match for Hendo, I have no beef with you; anyone who can put on a performance like this is capable of others like it. And that knockout punch was a thing of beauty…

Part 1

Part 2

So Gary Goodridge will be taking on Butterbean in April, and tomorrow’s Strikeforce event will feature Bob Sapp against 1-5 Euro-can Jan Nortje. If you’re curious about Goodridge and Nortje’s current skill level, just watch this sad match from K-1 HERO’s 8 (3/12/07), where Goodridge takes piles of abuse in one of the roughest, stupidest rope-a-dopes ever, then pounds back when Nortje is completely gassed. Again, Sapp is a -600 favorite in tomorrow’s match, even though his usual game plan (slug away all your energy then fall over) is exactly the same as Nortje’s. Anyway.

And because commenter “fightfan” asked for it, here’s Goodridge’s November 2005 loss against Glaube Feitosa in a K-1 kickboxing championship match. Watch as Feitosa knocks out Gary’s front teeth at 3:44, and recoil in horror during the slo-mo replay at 5:08.

Our earlier mentions of Chute Boxe and rope-a-dope reminded us of this light heavyweight match from Cage Rage 15 (2/4/06), which could easily earn a place in our greatest fights of all-time list. The first round features as much slugging as you’d expect from these two, but it’s the second round that makes the fight legendary. Cyborg and Melvin become so exhausted from whaling on each other that at one point they can do little more than stand with their hands down and suck air. Luckily, Manhoef has a little extra in the tank. Watch Cyborg baby-punch Melvin’s lifeless body at the end — totally adorable. (Fight starts at the 2:26 mark.)

Sure, why not — here’s Krazy Horse’s fight against K.J. Noons at EliteXC: Destiny (2/10/07), which we discussed earlier. It’s a leg-kick battle for a while, until the guys start throwing leather and Noons walks into a sledgehammer right hook. Entertaining as always, Bennett does his backflip thing a couple times after the knockout then leaves the cage before the cops can show up.

On the suggestion of reader “rheindog,” here’s Phil Baroni’s 18-second destruction of Dave Menne at UFC 39 (9/27/02). Baroni’s jackhammer-beatdown is memorable enough, but what makes this one classic is his Super-Guido celebration at the end: “I’m the best eva! I’m the man! I’m the man! I’m the man!” Unfortunately, he wasn’t — Baroni’s next four fights would result in losses at the hands of Matt Lindland, Evan Tanner (twice), and Pete Sell.

As we mentioned earlier, ICON Sport middleweight contender Kala Kolohe Hose’s brief career has been marked by some memorably fierce knockouts. If you’ve never seen him in action before, now’s your chance. Below are the end of his most recent fight against Frederic Belleton at the last ShoXC Challenger Series (1/25/08), and his complete 67-second match against Kekoa Baker at Icon Sport: All In (2/9/07). Check out the way Hose waits with his hands on his hips until Belleton comes in to eat a good-night knockout punch. That’s a confident young man…