10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.
9. BJ Penn Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ – and he’s a fan favorite – but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?
10. Roger Gracie In 2005, 23-year-old Roger Gracie won the Abu Dhabi Submission Wrestling World Championship by submitting all eight opponents, something that had never been done before. The son of Reyla Gracie, Roger has racked up numerous first place finishes in jiu-jitsu tournaments around the world, and won his first MMA match in December [...]
We know we’re an MMA news site, but occasionally we like to mix it up with something funny. So here’s a list of the 12 worst tattoos in MMA for your enjoyment. 12. Rich Clementi Ignore the unfortunately placed head in this picture and focus on the tat on Rich’s right pec. Cartoony tattoos are [...]
Everyone else in cyberspace has weighed in, so it’s time for CagePotato to lay down the Chuck Norris law. ‘Cept we’ve not only collected Chuck Norris facts from the site that started it all, but we’ve also scoured the literally hundreds of off-shoot entries around the web. The man who put the MA in MMA may not like the facts much, considering the lawsuit he’s taken out – as reported by our peeps over at Holy Taco a few weeks ago – but we fucking love them. Love him or hate him, Chuck Norris walks above us, not amongst us.
20. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder – at the same time.
18. Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
17. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet…until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
16. Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
#10: ‘Hood boxing:
A clinch on the sidewalk evolves into an all-out striking contest literally in the street. The guy in the Rivera jersey has a much longer reach and lands some nice shots on the dude in the white shirt, but the little guy has some spunk in him, even after getting rocked. And you gotta love the commentator, whose main contribution is “Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh! Oh.” Watch out Mike Goldberg, someone is eyeing your job.
#9: Batman and Spiderman kick the shit out of some fat kid: Apparently the kid was a heckler, and “Batman and Spiderman” are just costumed actors pretending to be the superheroes. But it’s still trippy to see them whale on a civilian. “The police are on their way, Batman” — awesome.
Because some of you asked for it during our recent roundup of the lamest, here are our picks for the best. Please post your opinions in the comments, but keep in mind that nu-metal is for fairies, and French rap music will absolutely not be tolerated. 5. Shonie Carter (UFC 53) — “Superfly,” Curtis Mayfield [...]
8. Ed Herman We all know what the song is supposed to be about and we’re all wondering what business it has being an entrance song. It doesn’t even have a cool beat. But that didn’t stop Ed Herman from using ”In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins at UFC 72. I can feel it, coming in the…okay, that’s enough. [...]
5. Terry Martin puts up his dukes…sort of
The second round had just started at UFC 54: Boiling Point, when James Irvin went airborne for a flying knee. Terry Martin had battled Irvin for a round already and decided to go all soft and not protect his face. He goes down limp except for his arms, which stay raised in an “I’m not worthy” position. Moments like this should serve more as a warning to never lower your guard for even a second — it’s very likely that you’ll end up on your back looking like a chump.
4. Johnnie Morton thinks he’s playing football
Johnnie Morton was a good receiver in the pros and at USC. But does that translate to the ring? Apparently not. Especially when it appears he’s just trying to go for a weak tackle the entire time. Morton debuted his new career at K-1 Hero’s in June, displaying some of the worst technique and defense seen all year. Bernard Ackah’s nothing special, but he was good enough to see when Morton left himself exposed, and knocked homeboy out in 35 seconds. Don’t quit your day job, Johnnie — oh wait, no one wants you in the NFL these days, either.
3. Matt Lindland KO’s himself slamming Falaniko Vitale
This one went down back at UFC 43: Meltdown, where everyone thought it was just a matter of time before The Law brought Niko down. But nobody expected Lindland to misjudge the turn on the chest-to-chest slam. Lindland gets his head wedged between Niko’s falling melon and the mat, taking himself down for the count. What, A, Loser. We should mention that five months later, Lindland got his revenge and took Vitale out, not that it redeemed the shamefulness of this particular night.
8. Fedor Emelianenko vs Josh Barnett
As Emelianenko climbed to the top of the PRIDE heavyweight ranks, the only fighter who eluded one of his signature ass-whippings was the one big name he never fought: the Baby Faced Assassin, Josh Barnett. When his name came up as a possible opponent for Fedor at Yarennoka!, our heart skipped a beat. Then, reality set in. Fedor would most likely do to Barnett what he does to everyone else — turn him into a human punching-bag for 2-15 minutes depending on how hard his skull is — but Barnett is an A-level fighter and it wouldn’t be fair to count him out against anybody (even though we just did).
7. Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic vs. Andrei Arlovski
While every other heavyweight match the UFC books seems to feature Tim “Xanax” Sylvia, the organization’s two most exciting stars are sitting on the bench. Anytime you put two offensive powerhouses — neither of whom has much of a chin — in a cage together, you’re guaranteed to see fireworks. It doesn’t matter that Cro Cop is coming off of back-to-back losses and there really wouldn’t be anything on the line; fans would kill to see these guys bash it out.