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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: lists

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

10. ROB EMERSON

Offenses: Was arrested in 2000 for his membership in the Lords of South County, a gang of Orange County rich kids who liked to assault innocent people for fun. Arrested again in 2006 after a dustup at a bar, and pled guilty to two counts of battery. His middling fight record doesn’t justify his UFC contract.
Notable quote: “I got bent over and took it up the ass on a lot of bullshit judges’ decisions. But fuck ‘em, their faces were fucked up worse than mine. That’s all I care about!”

9. BILL GOLDBERG

Offenses: His inexcusably awful work for EliteXC has brought MMA commentary to new, previously unimagined depths. Was reportedly abusive and obnoxious on the set of The Longest Yard.
Notable quote: “Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t give a damn about traditional mixed martial arts.”

8. BOB MEYROWITZ

Offenses: Ran the UFC into the mud marketing it as the most outrageous bloodsport on Earth. Currently working to eliminate ground-fighting with the YAMMA pit. Has a history of losing investors’ money (see eyada.com).
Notable quote: “On the streets it’s against the law — in the pit it is the law.” (YAMMA tagline)

7. GILBERT YVEL

Offenses: One of the dirtiest fighters in MMA history. DQ’d once for eye gouging, once for biting, and once for knocking out a referee; laughed when he was arrested after the incident.
Notable quote: “The referee…not a good thing, but memorable.”

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The Seven Nastiest Illegal Knockouts of All Time


(Perfectly legal, mind you.)

Ah, the good old days — when men were men, women were women, and ballsacks could be repeatedly pummeled inside the Octagon without Big John McCarthy doing a damn thing about it. Above, of course, is the fateful UFC 4 fight between Keith “By Any Means Necessary” Hackney, and Joe Son (who later appeared as Random Task in the first Austin Powers movie). By the late ’90s, rule changes had made mixed martial arts look somewhat civilized, and dozens of attacks/holds/gouges were deemed verboten. But regrettably, accidents still happen. And now, our favorite “accidents” ever…

7. Anderson Silva upkicks Yushin Okami

Before The Spider was the deadliest dude in the UFC, he was just a guy trying to get Yushin Okami the fuck off of him at Rumble on the Rock 8. His knockout kick was a crowd pleaser, but unfortunately he was DQ’d on a technicality — Okami’s knees were down.

6. Andrei Arlovski rabbit-punches Marcio Cruz
After back-to-back losses at the hands of Tim Sylvia, Arlovski was dying for a win, and he wasn’t above fighting dirty to get it. When the opportunity presented itself at UFC 66, the Pitbull started whaling on the back of Marcio Cruz’s head. Herb Dean gave him a warning. Arlovski kept doing it. Herb Dean warned him again. Arlovski kept doing it. Herb Dean stopped the fight and gave Andrei the win. Love that Herb Dean.

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10 of the Dumbest Quotes in MMA

10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson

Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.

9. BJ Penn

Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ – and he’s a fan favorite – but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?

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The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

10. Roger Gracie In 2005, 23-year-old Roger Gracie won the Abu Dhabi Submission Wrestling World Championship by submitting all eight opponents, something that had never been done before. The son of Reyla Gracie, Roger has racked up numerous first place finishes in jiu-jitsu tournaments around the world, and won his first MMA match in December [...]

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The 12 Worst Tattoos in MMA

We know we’re an MMA news site, but occasionally we like to mix it up with something funny. So here’s a list of the 12 worst tattoos in MMA for your enjoyment. 12. Rich Clementi Ignore the unfortunately placed head in this picture and focus on the tat on Rich’s right pec. Cartoony tattoos are [...]

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The Top 25 Truths About Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

Everyone else in cyberspace has weighed in, so it’s time for CagePotato to lay down the Chuck Norris law. ‘Cept we’ve not only collected Chuck Norris facts from the site that started it all, but we’ve also scoured the literally hundreds of off-shoot entries around the web. The man who put the MA in MMA may not like the facts much, considering the lawsuit he’s taken out – as reported by our peeps over at Holy Taco a few weeks ago – but we fucking love them. Love him or hate him, Chuck Norris walks above us, not amongst us.

So while the bearded ass-kicker is busy selling loco for Mike Huckabee, enjoy the definitive Top 25 Truths About Chuck Norris…and his beard:

25. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
24. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
23. Who was the ghost writer on “Smack My Bitch Up” performed by the band, Prodigy? Chuck Norris.
22. The Ultimate Fighting Championship doesn’t use its full name, which is “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
21. Chuck Norris once fathered a shark – because they kick ass.

Chuck Norris

20. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder – at the same time.
18. Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
17. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet…until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
16. Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

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The 10 Best Street Fight Videos of All Time

#10: ‘Hood boxing:
A clinch on the sidewalk evolves into an all-out striking contest literally in the street. The guy in the Rivera jersey has a much longer reach and lands some nice shots on the dude in the white shirt, but the little guy has some spunk in him, even after getting rocked. And you gotta love the commentator, whose main contribution is “Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh! Oh.” Watch out Mike Goldberg, someone is eyeing your job.

#9: Batman and Spiderman kick the shit out of some fat kid: Apparently the kid was a heckler, and “Batman and Spiderman” are just costumed actors pretending to be the superheroes. But it’s still trippy to see them whale on a civilian. “The police are on their way, Batman” — awesome.

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Five Most Kickass Entrance Songs — EVER!

Because some of you asked for it during our recent roundup of the lamest, here are our picks for the best. Please post your opinions in the comments, but keep in mind that nu-metal is for fairies, and French rap music will absolutely not be tolerated. 5. Shonie Carter (UFC 53) — “Superfly,” Curtis Mayfield [...]

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Top Eight Lamest Entrance Songs

8. Ed Herman We all know what the song is supposed to be about and we’re all wondering what business it has being an entrance song. It doesn’t even have a cool beat. But that didn’t stop Ed Herman from using ”In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins at UFC 72. I can feel it, coming in the…okay, that’s enough. [...]

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Top Ten Worst Cauliflower Ears

Honorable Mention: Pat Militech

10. Frank Trigg

9. Matt Hughes 

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