(Believe it or not, this isn’t a sponsored post. It’s just one of those things that happens when it’s a slow news week and you’re desperate.)
By Ben Goldstein
If you’re a UFC fan who doesn’t live in a densely-populated urban area with multiple sports-bar options within walking distance, chances are you’ve spent some time in a Buffalo Wild Wings, since it’s one of the only chain restaurants that reliably shows UFC events. The food is almost beside the point, though BWW is known for its wings (obviously) and the 16 signature sauces you can put on them.
So as a tribute to everyone who’s ever waited an hour-and-a-half for a table at B-Dubs because you’re too cheap to order a pay-per-view at home, I humbly present one of the dumbest list ideas I’ve ever come up with. Ladies and gentlemen, here are the 16 Buffalo Wild Wings wing sauces and their UFC fighter equivalents. Just be grateful I didn’t arrange this in slideshow format.
BWW description: “Traditional BBQ sauce: Satisfyingly sweet.”
UFC fighter equivalent: Non-threatening and vaguely Southern? I’m gonna go with Jessamyn Duke — but only because Bubba McDaniel isn’t on the UFC roster anymore.
BWW description: “Terrifically tasty Teriyaki sauce.”
UFC fighter equivalent: Takeya Mizugaki. He’s Japanese, he’s consistently good, but he’s not going to blow anybody’s mind, flavor-wise.
BWW description: “Classic wing sauce: High flavor, low heat.”
UFC fighter equivalent: Gleison Tibau, a guy who never made a major impact in the UFC and yet is tied for the most victories in UFC lightweight history. How the hell did that happen? Like mild sauce, he’s just always been around.