stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

Tag: lists

MMA GIF Party: The 10 Greatest GIFs of 2011


#10: Not everybody was prepared for the intensity of the UFC on FOX promo trailer.

Damn we love us a good GIF. 2011 provided us with dozens of memorable ones, but these ten stood out a little more than the rest. If we’ve left out one of your favorites, shoot us a link in the comments section. Props to ZombieProphet, Gordo on the UG, and everybody else who spends time making these things.


#9: Honey badger don’t care.

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MMA Video Tribute: The 25 Most Brutal Finishes of 2011


(“Look kid, I’m gonna find the man who did this to you. And when I do, so help me God, I’m gonna dock him one point for shorts-grabbing.” / Photo of Stout vs. Edwards aftermath via ESPN)

With a little help from the Potato Nation, we spent the last couple days gathering videos of the nastiest, ugliest, most-painful looking knockouts and submissions from this year. Finding 25 of them was the easy part. (Damn, MMA fighters. You seemed especially angry this year. Problems at home?) Putting them in order was a little more challenging.

Obviously, Frank Mir snapping Nogueira’s arm at UFC 140 was the people’s choice for #1. But how do you rank a head-kick knockout against a spinning-backfist knockout, when they both leave their victims zombie’d on the mat with their eyes open and their arms in the air?

So here’s what we’ll do. Instead of arranging these brutal stoppages in some arbitrary order, we’ll arrange them in groups. Use the links below to navigate through the sections, and take a moment to appreciate the human devastation that our great sport has caused in the last 12 months. And all this without a single death! Enjoy…

(Ben Goldstein)

- Page 1: The Perfect One-Shot (Or Two-Shot) Knockouts
- Page 2: The Savage Striking Onslaughts
Page 3: The Gruesome Submissions
- Page 4: Fancy Kicks and Other Insanity

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It Won’t Be Long, We’ll Meet Again: The Five Most Necessary and Unnecessary Rematches of 2011


(I see trouble a brewin’ on the horizon.) 

Given their frequency within the sport, we oft discuss the rematch here at CagePotato: we’ve mentioned a few that we’d like to see, we’ve mocked the possible occurence of others, and we’ve even gone as far as to predict how future ones would go down. And with 2011 featuring over 10 in the UFC alone, we decided to take a look back at at a year that both showcased and disgraced the awesomeness that is the rematch. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you?

The Ones We Needed to See 

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Yushin Okami at UFC 134

(Silva v. Okami, though this image could be from just about any of Silva’s fights.) 

Why it had to happen: Because the first fight marked the last time Silva had lost…at anything, and even if it was by way of illegal upkick DQ, it was enough to convince some people that Okami had his number. Plus, Okami had earned his shot by this point, and we were getting pretty damned tired of debating this old issue.

How it happened: Absolute. Domination. In typical fashion, Silva toyed with Okami like he was wrestling with his 4 year old nephew, letting the audience know that the fight would end when he decided it would. A head kick that rocked Okami at the end of the first round reinforced this belief, and Silva mercifully finished him off in the second. Cut. Print. TKO.

What it proved: That, outside of Chael Sonnen, there are no threats left in the UFC’s middleweight division for Anderson Silva. As with Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, Silva must journey to another weight class if he desires a true challenge. Even DW is coming around to the idea, sort of.

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Crazy Enough to Be True: Ten Wild MMA Predictions for 2012


(“I appreciate the recognition, but really, this award belongs to CagePotato. Get up here, guys.”)

By Jason Moles

This time last year, I gave you a list of predictions that really created a stir. I boasted that the UFC would host an event in Mexico and be legalized in New York. Man, was I ever wrong about that. I apologize. But I also said that Dana White would coin a new phrase, land a network TV deal and that a famous athlete would cross over into the world of mixed martial arts. Not bad, eh? 2012 is quickly approaching so get the champagne on ice and let’s get to those wild predictions…

1. FOX will reprimand Dana White for his inevitable off-handed comments.

Faggot“, “f*cking retarded”, “dumb bitch” — these are all things that have been uttered by the president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, Dana White. The UFC may be MMA’s pinnacle and FOX’s diamond in the rough, but if the promotion is ever to secure a spot in the mainstream, it needs to display more control over its mouthpiece and his tongue. Advertisers tend to frown upon such public displays of hostility and bigotry. When Uncle Dana slips again and gives someone an earful, you can be certain that it won’t go unpunished as it has in the past. This goes for you too, Rogan and Rashad.

2. A champion will test positive for a banned substance.

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MMA Video Tribute: Jim Norton’s Nine Most Painful Interviews

Jim Norton Opie & Anthony radio UFC MMA fighters brock lesnar

As co-host of the Opie & Anthony radio show on SiriusXM, comedian Jim Norton has become the designated punching bag for visiting MMA stars. He’s been choked, he’s been kicked, he’s had his foot twisted 180 degrees by Brock Lesnar. And considering what a sick, depraved bastard Norton is, you have to wonder if he enjoys it on some level. Here’s everything we could collect from Jim Norton’s MMA-related body of work. All videos courtesy of opieradio.

Guest: BJ Penn, 4/14/10
Technique: Armbar
In Jim’s words: “That is fuckin’ horrible…Besides the fact that your arm is ready to be ripped out, it puts pressure on your fuckin’ — it stretches you both ways, I didn’t realize it did that.”

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Gallery: 25 Police Sketches that Look Remarkably Like MMA Personalities


(Judging by this uncanny drawing, I guess it’s safe to say Luke Cummo hasn’t made much of a life for himself outside the Octagon)

While browsing through the morning newspaper a couple of weeks ago, I came across a story about a man who attacked a disabled woman in a park in Tacoma and the composite sketch looked strikingly like someone I’d seen before. I just couldn’t place the face.

After a few moments, it dawned on me: It was Ben Fowlkes. I’d recognize that dead stare anywhere.

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The Top 100 Most Jacked MMA Fighters


(Whether it’s because of horsemeat, hard work or good genetics, these guys don’t get sand kicked in their faces at the beach.)

A few months ago, our friends over at MuscleProdigy.com put together an extensive and widely popular list of The Top 100 Most Jacked NFL Players. Since then, they have been barraged with requests to assemble a similar list with MMA fighters, so to keep the masses happy, they did just that.

The judging criteria they used was similar to the one employed in bodybuilding competition and included points for muscular size, vascularity, leanness, proportionality, aesthetics, and rarity of body type.

All of these factors contributed equally in determining the final order of the list.

For example, a 230 pound heavyweight who has huge arms, but no abs did not score as high as a ripped 155 pound lightweight.

A sliding scale was used to allow for weight variances and the typically increased body fat percentages in fighters at larger weights. For fighters who compete in more than one weight class, they used the weight they typically fight at the most.

If you’re looking for a hard to find workout programs used by your favorite fighter, you can find many of them at Muscle Prodigy.

In the meantime, check out numbers 100 to 91 after the jump.

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Four UFC Fights That Would Have Different Outcomes Under ‘Stockton Rules’

nick diaz gina carano mma photos
(Smiling in the presence of a woman? Automatic one-point deduction. / Photo via Sherdog)

As sort-of hazily defined by Nick Diaz back in January 2010, the Unified Rules of Stockton is an alternate MMA scoring system in which the winner of the fight is the guy who would have won if the match had continued indefinitely, and the loser is the guy who looks more fucked up afterwards. Under Stockton Rules, only the final round is scored, and holding onto top position without doing damage actually counts for negative points.

The more commonly used ten-point-must system keeps things nice and uniform, and doesn’t require judges to predict the future. But as we’ve seen time and time again, the fighter who has more points on the scorecards isn’t always who you would call the “winner.” So which notable UFC fights would have different results if the scoring system was a little more gangster? Let’s get an obvious one out of the way first…

DAN HENDERSON vs. MAURICIO “SHOGUN” RUA
UFC 139, 11/19/11

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Cursed From Birth: The Six Worst Draws for a UFC Debut


(Oh Kyle, if only you knew how ironic that tattoo is about to look.) 

There is a Russian proverb that roughly goes, “He that is afraid of bad luck will never know good.” And it is a rare bit of good sense from our Russki comrades; we should not live in fear of things beyond our control like luck, but rather have the confidence in ourselves to believe that our hard work will eventually pay off, be it in famefortune, or fiine women. But for every bit of good luck we have, some poor sap out there has a much, much worse day because of it. Like the Mortal Kombat tournaments, these gentlemen’s misfortunes are necessary to maintain the order between realms, so it is to these brave souls that we pay tribute.

We’re talking about those guys who just happened to be on the losing side of a future champion’s debut, or got crushed before they could even get their footing. We’re talking about guys who put their hearts and souls into a sport for years, only to have their debut in the sport’s highest promotion be overshadowed by someone that was just on another level.

So, without further ado, here are the six unluckiest sons of bitches that the UFC has ever seen.

#6 – Alex Soto

Who he drew: 20 year old bantamweight phenom Michael “Mayday” McDonald at UFC 139

How it went down: Let us start with the most recent. Before entering the octagon, Alex Soto was 6-0-1 over local to mid-level competition. Mcdonald, on the other hand, was a 13-1 fighter out of California that had split a pair of contests with former WEC featherweight champion Cole Escovedo, and had scored wins over legitimate UFC competition in Edwin Figueroa and Chris Cariaso. On paper, it was going to be a tough debut for Mr. Soto. In the flesh, it was actually much, much tougher.

McDonald swarmed Soto with a barrage of technically proficient and perfectly placed punches that had him looking for a way out early. And McDonald was kind enough to offer that way out, via Soto’s consciousness. Turns out, there wasn’t a mountain high enough, a valley low enough, or a river wide enough to keep McDonald from getting to Soto, and a series of particularly brutal uppercuts later sealed the deal. The end came just 56 seconds into the first round. Soto is more than likely still dusting out the cobwebs to this day, whereas Michael McDonald has taken up a career singing backup vocals for everyday conversations.

Join us after the jump to hear the stories of five other guys who had their wings broken before they could even learn to fly. 

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MMA Black Friday: 7 Things That Money Can’t Buy


(A PSP, a Marmaduke book, and fistful of dollars… Man, this cat really knows how to get down!)

By Jason Moles

While our wives and girlfriends are busy maxing out our credit cards in hopes of finding the perfect gift for everyone she knows, we should be reminded that money can’t buy everything — especially in the world of mixed martial arts. Follow us after the jump to discover the irony of the MMA Black Friday. I promise it will be better than the turkey sandwich and leftover pumpkin pie you’ll have for lunch.

1.) Resurrection

In June, Cheick Kongo did what no man has done since the Messiah some 2,000+ years ago — he defeated death. Alright, so maybe I’ve had a few too many turkey day cocktails and that’s not exactly how it went down, but you get the jist. Kongo was knocked unconscious not once but twice in his fight against fellow heavyweight Pat Barry and he still managed to win the fight! By KO nonetheless. No amount of Earthly money could ever buy a second (or third) chance to live again. If it were that easy, Steve Jobs would’ve made certain you increase your credit limit.

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