If you watch carefully, you can see his Soul flashing a peace sign when it flies out.  (VidProps: Bellator)

If you listened to this week’s edition of the Bum Rush (you did, right?), you know that some of us were really looking forward to Bellator action this weekend, and some of us were unconvinced.  But when guys are pulling off stupid-rare submissions and handing out beatdowns on the weekly, we say those naysayers are just stupid neenerfaces.  You go ahead and contemplate how much time we’re spending with preschool kids while you click the “Read More” link below, then share your comments about just how awesome Bellator is.  Hyperbole and ridiculous analogies will win you style points, and haterific comments will probably inspire ReX13 to bestow an insulting website upon your login.  That asshole is just way too sensitive sometimes.

“I’m just saying that teachers should stop being so greedy, make some sacrifices for the common good. I mean really, full dental? That just seems like–hey, why are you guys looking at me like that?” -Lyman Good, on the state of the economy.

Bellator Fighting Championships premiered last night on MTV2 with its first broadcast of the fourth season with the full quarterfinal lineup in the welterweight division, aiming to come in like a lion on the new network. Bellator’s welterweights are possibly the most talented weight class for BFC, and the matchups looked to be pure dynamite, at least on paper. Well, the field is narrowed down to the four semifinalists, with one upset, one awkward stoppage, and an undercard fight that stole the show from everyone. Curious?

Well, of course you’re curious–you watched that other promotion’s show last night, and you have no idea what happened. Lyman “Cyborg” Good could’ve changed his name to Cyrax and developed a Fatality, and you’d be none the wiser because some old guy was fighting some Brazilian guy for some belt that no one can hold onto. Whatevs, brah. I’ll fill you in this time, but you may want to tune in for Bellator XXXVI. I hear Johnny Cage is showing up.

Monica and Mercedes have enjoyed the vacation.     PicProps: Bellator.com

In all this talk of the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix and subsequent rumors of a Lightweight Grand Prix, it seems that some of us are forgetting about the promotion that put on *seven* tournaments last year, without once sucking their own dicks about how awesome they were to pull it off. Well, Bjorn Rebney and company are returning to the airwaves new and improved on March 5th with a new slate of tournaments, and CagePotato wants to keep you abreast of developments.  Because we care, Potato Nation, because we care.

Probably the deepest and most talented division in Bellator, eight fighters are entered in the third tournament at 170 pounds. The field is already set, and packed with stars and standouts competing for a large check (see what we did there?) and a date with current welterweight kingpin “Funky” Ben Askren. A full list of the competitors and some highlight vids are after the jump, so now you can discuss the tournament intelligently, should it come up on the golf course or at the dinner table.  You’re welcome.

(Skip to 1:19 for the money shot.)

By ReX “Keep Fear Alive” Richardson

Let’s say that you were in Philadelphia last night, perhaps wandering around looking for the Philadelphia Doll Museum. Maybe you heard that Pagano’s had better cheesesteak than any of those South Philly stands, or you wanted to check out the (allegedly) wild party scene at Temple University. Well, while you were standing there shoving a pound of cheap steak, fried onions, and Cheez Whiz in your face, you might have heard a dull roaring noise coming from the Liacouras Center. That was the sound of Bellator XXXIII. Maybe you forgot with all the excitement around UFC 121 this weekend, but Bellator’s third entertaining season is ending, and they are going out shooting, son.

Erstwhile welterweight champ Lyman Good returned after a sixteen month injury layoff to defend the strap against Ben Askren, rising star Rick Hawn made his debut, and local boy Eddie Alvarez took on a legitimate super fight against Roger “The White Knight” Huerta. If you just facepalmed because you forgot to set your DVR, relax; I got this. Follow me in after the jump, and I’ll recap the televised fights and possibly crack some jokes. Keep in mind that I make no guarantees of quality, but if you don’t read on, you’ll probably hate yourself when the cool kids in the cafeteria start talking about it. Keep it in mind.

(Bellator VII highlights, courtesy of YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

Bellator‘s welterweight tournament finals were settled on Friday night in Chicago, as Lyman Good and Omar De La Cruz got their hands raised in the semis after dominant performances. Good increased his record to 9-0 with his whipping of Jorge Ortiz (highlights begin at the above video’s 4:15 mark), as he poured on an overwhelming barrage of strikes over two rounds until Ortiz’s face fell apart and the fight was stopped due to a cut. De La Cruz was just as aggressive in his fight with former UFC middleweight champ Dave Menne (see the vid’s 6:15 mark), throwing down some of hardest punches from the top that you will ever see in your life, before ending the fight with a lights-out right hook. Good and De La Cruz will meet in the welterweight finals on June 12th in Uncasville, Connecticut.

In non-tournament action, Kerry Vera won a thrilling three-rounder over Leslie Smith in her MMA debut (highlights begin at the video’s 1:28 mark), and UFC vet Eddie Sanchez scored the fastest knockout in Bellator history with his 10-second demolition of Jay White (skip to 3:39). Full event results and the complete video of the must-see Vera/Smith fight are after the jump…

(Wilson Reis vs. Henry Martinez)

If you’re one of the proud, multi-lingual subscribers of ESPN Deportes, this is old news to you, but the second weekly installment of the Bellator Fighting Championships went down Friday night (and was broadcast on Saturday), with former EliteXC 140-pound champ Wilson Reis extending his record to 7-0 with a decision win over Henry Martinez, and IFL/Ring of Combat vet Lyman Good scoring his eighth consecutive win after choking out Hector Urbina. Also on the card was Jorge Ortiz (aka "The Naked Man"), who scored a decision win over Aaron Romero. You can watch the entire broadcast (in English!) starting this Wednesday on Bellator.com. Full results are below…

TOURNAMENT BOUTS
Wilson Reis def. Henry Martinez via unanimous decision (bantamweights)
Eric Reynolds def. Thomas Schulte via TKO, 4:18 of round 1 (lightweights)
Lyman Good def. Hector Urbina via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:22 of round 2 (welterweights)
Omar de la Cruz def. Victor Meza via unanimous decision (welterweights)
Jorge Ortiz def. Aaron Romero via unanimous decision (welterweights)

NON-TOURNAMENT BOUTS
Jesse Juarez def. Mikey Gomez via TKO, 4:23 of round one (welterweights)
Matt Makowksi def. Aaron Tregear via unanimous decision (lightweights)
Jimmie Rivera def. Willie Gates via submission (triangle choke), 3:17 of round 3 (bantamweights)
Josh Laberge def. Chris Simmons via unanimous decision (lightweights)

Bellator’s staggered four-weight-class tournament system may seem confusing at first, but basically here’s what’s going to happen…