machine

(Give it your best shot, but please, no thai-style leg kicks.)

Just when you thought the Kimbo Slice hysteria had died down, more people have figured out how to make money off his likeness.  PrimeTime Amusements has unveiled their brand new “Team Kimbo Boxing Machine.”  

It’s one of those arcade games often found in cheap bars where the object is to hit a speed bag as hard as you can in order to prove your manliness to drunk chicks nearby.  After you hit the bag, a number appears, devoid of any unit of measurement, telling you whether you’ll get laid or not.  Ideally, you will find the number insufficient, and continue pumping quarters into the machine as you become drunker and angrier.  Meanwhile the girls go home with some guys who claim to work on Wall Street.

The fact that Kimbo is not a boxer doesn’t seem to bother the people at PrimeTime Amusements.  Nor are they troubled by the fact that these days “Team Kimbo” probably exists in name only.

I guess you have to strike the merchandising iron while it’s hot.  Though I hear these machines aren’t a great seller because all it takes is a weak jab to put them out of order.  Hi-yo!  Sorry.  I couldn't help myself.