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Tag: man vs. woman

Oh, Thank Christ: Brazilian MMA Confederation Officially Shitcans Man vs. Woman Fight at Shooto 45


(“Equality,” as pictured by a lunatic.) 

We can all breath a sigh of relief, Nation, because the necessary persons have officially (thankfully) put an end to this man vs. woman MMA fight nonsense. The matchup, which was announced as part of Friday’s Shooto 45 event earlier this week, was almost immediately reviled by fans across the MMA blogosphere. Maybe because it was asking us to accept common assault as sport, or maybe because the woman, Juliana Velasquez, would be making her professional debut, but for some reason, no one really wanted to see this travesty unfold and further roadblock MMA from legitimization.

Except for Emerson Falcao (a.k.a “the man”), that is, who insists that our sport is destined for an Andy Kaufman-esque fantasyscape in the near future (via MMAFighting):

I was hired to fight, and I’m going there to fight. My job is to train and fight. This is the first of the many man vs. woman fights that will come in the future. You’ll see. This is going to be huge. We’re here to shock the world.

Yes, “shock the world.” Because our fine sport should abide by the philosophy of Marilyn Manson if it ever wants to succeed.

While it was originally being reported that Velasquez vs. Falcao would be taking place tomorrow with a special “No elbows, no knees” stipulation, the Brazilian Mixed Martial Arts Federation stepped in at today’s weigh-ins and cancelled this thing outright. As the CBMMA’s Osiris Maia stated:

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Terrible, Stupid, Just Awful Idea of the Day: A Man vs. Woman Fight is Going Down at Shooto Brazil 45 This Weekend [UPDATED]

God damn it, you guys. God. Damn. It.

Maybe it’s just me, but everytime it seems like this thing we call MMA is finally on the right track towards honest-to-God legitimacy, Jose Canseco shows up, or the UFC signs a yoga instructor(‘s death warrant), or some shit like this happens and we’re back to square one.

Begin the SMH’ing, because some Brazilian website is reporting that Shooto, one of Brazil’s longest and (formerly) most prestigious MMA organizations, is planning a man vs. woman fight at this weekend’s Shooto Brazil 45. Specifically, Nova Uniao product Emerson Falcao vs. Team Nogueira’s Juliana Velasquez. Who will be making her professional debut. 

I…I just can’t anymore, you guys. Wiping my hands of this whole thing.

And who came up with this fucking ree-dick-you-lus idea, you ask? Oh, just Andre Pederneiras, the legendary Uniao founder/trainer who has seemed like a relatively intelligent individual up until this point. Maybe he knows something we don’t. In any case, here’s the scoop, as Velasquez told MMAFighting:

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Video of the Day: Watch Some Dude Gets Schooled By a Woman in an MMA Exhibition in Brazil


(Video courtesy of Ebaumsworld.)

We often joke about female fighters like Cris Cyborg testing her mettle against men in her weight class, but the chances of it ever happening are slim to none.

That is, unless you live in Brazil, where apparently gender bias doesn’t get in the way of a good scrap.

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