By Mike Russell

We know the suspense has been killing you, so we’re just going to break it to you.

Apparently Nick Diaz partook in the stick icky a little too close to his UFC 143 welterweight interim title bout with Carlos Condit as the Nevada State Athletic Commission has announced this afternoon that the Stockton native’s post-fight urinalysis came back positive for marijuana metabolites.

According to NSAC executive director Keith Kizer, 18 of the 22 fighters who competed on Saturday night’s card were tested and only Diaz yielded a positive result.

Carlos Condit, Fabricio Werdum, Josh Koscheck, Renan Barao, Ed Herman, Dustin Poirier, Max Hollaway, Matt Riddle, Henry Martinez, Edwin Figueroa, Alex Caceres, Matt Brown, Chris Cope, Rafael Natal, Michael Kuiper, Stephen Thompson and Dan Stittgen were also tested.

(Video via MMANuts.com)

A few short days ago Dave Herman was yanked from his upcoming bout against Mike Russow following a failed drug test, and before the smoke had cleared a lively debate had sparked between our readers about marijuana’s place in the sport. We thought we’d hashed it all out and come to an understanding, but now Rodrigo “Comprido” Medeiros has weighed in on the matter with a very special PSA. According to the heavily decorated BJJ champion, those of you who lobbied in favor of mixing grass and grappling are stupid and suffer from low self-esteem. To be fair, Comprido, pretty much everyone here at the Potato Nation is stupid and suffers from low self-esteem; it’s kind of our “thing”.

“[I] just want to make this very clear: Eddie Bravo is an idiot. Ok? Using drugs don’t improve the performance of a fighter. If you want to build your self-confidence, you’re going to do sports, do martial arts, but never use drugs.”

There’s more buzz-kill after the jump.

(You know who had that look in his eyes? Chris Benoit.) 

Dave Herman’s recent failed pre-fight drug test and subsequent removal from his bout with Mike Russow has sparked debate across the web in regards to marijuana’s power (or lack thereof) as a performance enhancing drug. Some are saying Herman should have been pulled from the fight based on the illegality of the drug alone, a tough issue to deny. However, several studies have shown that certain strands of marijuana can provide a healing effect to the nervous system and could dramatically expedite the healing process of inflamed joints, which could prove incredibly beneficial to someone in the fight game.

Annie Appleseed Project, an alternative treatment foundation, has furthered research on the healing effect of marijuana, particularly to that of damaged nerves. They concluded that marijuana, in fact, can aid the nervous system beyond that of even morphine. Andrew Rice, a senior lecturer in pain at London’s Imperial College, had the following to say about marijuana’s ability to rehabilitate:

(Come on. You’re telling me that’s not a pothead? / Photo via Sherdog)

Update: Herman only tested positive for marijuana. The report that originally stated he also tested positive for steroids came from a misinterpretation of his interview.

UFC heavyweight Dave Herman has confirmed that his scheduled UFC 136 main card bout against Mike Russow has been canceled, after his pre-fight drug tests came back positive for marijuana. Herman denies using the illegal substance. As he explained to Clinch Gear Radio:

“I went in to get in my drug test (on Sept. 15), and a week later, they called me and told me they lost my urine specimen. I had to come in and redo it. That was last week. I went back in that day. And [on Wednesday], they told me I failed. I said, ‘That’s impossible.’…[now,] Texas said they never lost it and the first one [tested positive] for drugs and the second was for steroids. I don’t even smoke…I haven’t even had a beer in two months.”

(Much like Bob Reilly, Nick Diaz is very interested in agriculture.)

In a bit of news that escaped our notice due to all the UFC 97 build-up and letdown, but is all too appropriate for today’s date (4/20, get it?), Nick Diaz reportedly tested clean following his TKO victory over Frank Shamrock at Strikeforce in San Jose.  The California State Athletic Commission’s Bill Douglas confirmed the news, saying that Diaz “was fine,” and adding that the test also checked for cleansing agents.

Does that mean that Diaz was jerking our collective chain about smoking weed up until the fight and using “herbal cleansers” to remove any trace from his system before the test, or does it just mean that Diaz has the hookup on the best herbal cleansers around?  If we had to speculate (and we don’t, but we will, because that’s the kind of thing we do), we’d say it’s the latter.  The world where Nick Diaz lies about his weed consumption is just not a world we want to live in.

So now who feels like a little bitch?  Answer: the CSAC.  Diaz beat them and Frank Shamrock all in one weekend.  That’s a moral victory for potheads everywhere.  It’s also enough to make you wonder about how effective the drug-testing system is in catching users of actual performance-enhancers.  If they can’t nail Diaz, who laid out his plan for beating the test beforehand, can they reliably catch steroid-users?

(Will fight for munchies.)

Eager to get a sane perspective on Nick Diaz’s unapologetic love of weed, MDS over at MMA Fanhouse took the issue up with Cesar Gracie, Nick’s longtime coach and mentor.  Gracie did not disappoint, laying out Diaz’s case in a way we can all understand.

1. It’s technically legal for Nick since he has a prescription for it thanks to his ADD/California’s lax medicinal marijuana laws
2. He still plans to test clean, so screw it anyway
3. It’s probably not something athletes should be doing, but Diaz has great cardio and does freaking triathlons, so it can’t be that bad
4. Michael Phelps does it, and how many gold medals have you won?

If that summary of points isn’t enough for you, leave it to the Brazilian to give your American ass a lesson about personal liberty:

(Kid Yamamoto highlight reel, y’all. Bounce ta dis.)

As previously rumored, former K-1 HERO’s champ and #4-ranked featherweight Norifumi "Kid" Yamamoto will end a year-and-a-half hiatus at DREAM.9 (May 26th; Yokohama, Japan) when he enters their ongoing featherweight grand prix, taking an automatic bye to the quarterfinals. Yamamoto hasn’t competed since his second-round TKO victory over Rani Yahya at K-1 Premium 2007 Dynamite!! on New Year’s Eve 2007, which was his 14th-consecutive win. And it seems like DREAM’s organizers have a sense of humor, because they’re slotting him against former U.S. wrestling champion Joe Warren, who, like Yamamoto, was involved in a reputation-injuring marijuana scandal. (Weed is a big no-no over there. Very dishonorable.) May the best pothead win? DREAM.9′s featherweight GP matchups will be arranged thusly:

Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto vs. Joe Warren
Masakazu Imanari vs. Bibiano Fernandes
Yoshiro Maeda vs. Hiroyuki Takaya
Abel Cullum vs. Hideo Tokoro*

(You can thank The Garv for this absolutely necessary photoshop.)

Thanks to reader Kadumel for pointing us to this article in the L.A. Times, in which Nick Diaz reaches new levels of stupidity by telling a reporter exactly how he will beat the California State Athletic Commission’s drug screening process when he fights Frank Shamrock this weekend:

"I’m happy to get loaded, hear some good music . . . I remain consistent. And I have an easy way to deal with [the drug tests].  I can pass a drug test in eight days with herbal cleansers. I drink 10 pounds of water and sweat out 10 pounds of water every day. I’ll be fine."

Goddammit, Nick.  You are fighting in the main event of a card on Showtime.  You are not applying for a job at Hot Topic.  You’re relying on herbal cleansers to keep you from getting fined, suspended, and possibly having the result of your bout changed to a no contest…again!?  Have you learned nothing?

Nick Diaz participated in yesterday’s Strikeforce conference call and thank God someone was savvy enough to ask him a question about weed and then get out of the way and let him go.  There’s nothing quite like a good, completely insane Nick Diaz rant to really make you stop and realize that absolutely everybody, everywhere is on drugs, or else they’re an alcoholic.  I didn’t even think about it until Nick said it.

Here are some other nuggets of wisdom to come out of Diaz’s mouth in this one answer to one question about how smoking weed is different than taking pain pills:

– The blood flow stimulated by coughing when you smoke weed might be the healthiest thing you do all day…if you are fat or have cancer.
– He’s not a fucking doctor or scientist.
– He has a lot of friends who do a lot of drugs.
– If you smoke cigarettes, Nick hopes you die of cancer.  He really does.

Above: MMA/video-game mashup artist lookoutawhale created this Dana White/Super Mario Bros tribute for a UG contest to win tickets to DW’s St. Patrick’s Day party in Boston, and it’s pretty Fuk’n amazing. If only dealing with your rivals was as simple as jumping on their heads.

Below: The more I watch Dan Quinn‘s videos, the more I’m convinced that he’s not a real person, but a highly trained actor playing a character named "Dan Quinn," and the whole YouTube video thing is just a brilliant guerilla marketing campaign for Starwest Botanicals. Because honestly, how can this person not be in on the joke? Yes, that’s his mom who comes by to bust Dan’s weed party at the 4:44 mark, and remind him that "that thing is still simmering." So yes, he lives with his mother. He also alludes to a knowledge about methamphetamine that rivals his knowledge about marijuana and stevia. Why are we not surprised?

After the jump: Some lucky dickhead teaches you how to reverse guard, with the help of two very sexy girls. The last shot = possibly NSFW, totally OMFG.

("The Upgrade" will get his chance to earn that t-shirt, after all.  Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

With Chris Horodecki being pulled from Affliction: Day of Reckoning after failing his physical with a bulging disc in his neck, the organization has reached out to 7-1 southern California fighter Bobby Green to step in as a replacement against Dan Lauzon.  Important things to know about Green:

– His nickname is “King,” which is kind of weird.
– He’s never faced anyone of note in any major organization.
– He was suspended for three months and fined $500 after testing positive for marijuana following his victory over Raymond Ayala at Total Fighting Alliance 10 last March.

There, now you’re up to speed.  The question now for Affliction is whether this bout will stay on the pay-per-view portion of the card, or whether it will be pushed down in favor of the Jay Hieron and Jason High bout.  The latter sounds like the better idea, since guys who take fights on a couple days notice aren’t often known for putting on pay-per-view worthy performances.

More Affliction-related videos, like Fedor and Andrei vlogs, are after the jump.

(And that jackass guidance counselor said they’d never amount to anything.)

UFC color man Joe Rogan and rubber guard impressario Eddie Bravo are in High Times (props to The Marvelous One on the UG for the find), apparently just sitting around and thinking about what an awesome invention nachos are.  If this picture makes you uncomfortable, definitely don’t click "Read More." 

If, on the other hand, you’d love to see what pure, unadulterated joy looks like, and you’d also like to be kind of creeped out at the same time, then have at it.

(Possession with intent to get groovy.)

First EliteXC shuts down and now this. Former Pride fighter and MMA veteran Enson Inoue was popped for marijuana possession in Tokyo this past weekend. The forty-one-year-old fighter was nailed by the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, and he admitted to getting the weed from an acquaintance and “inhaling three or four times in a month“:

According to reports at both Mainichi Daily News and Nikkan Sports, a policeman busted Inoue at 3 PM JST on the 18th (Saturday) at a coin-parking machine in (Ikebukuro) Toshima city (Tokyo). During a car inspection, the policeman discovered marijuana cigarettes (up to 16.9 grams of marijuana) in the car’s sunroof, door compartment, and pocket(s) of Inoue’s clothing.

Damn, Enson. In the sunroof? Really?

As you may or may not know, marijuana laws in Japan are pretty strict, as an unfortunate Russian sumo wrestler found out earlier this year, so this could go badly for Inoue. 16.9 grams is enough to get you in hot water lots of places, but especially in a country that’s been coming down hard on pot-smoking pro athletes lately. Ironic, considering it’s known to MMA fans as the home of rampant steroid use.

Best of luck, Enson. In trying times like these, who can blame a man for keeping a marijuana cigarette in his sunroof?

(“The Athlete” is ready to get back after it.)

- Jason “Dooms” Day has been forced to pull out of his UFC 88 bout with fattie-turned-middleweight Jason Lambert because of a biceps injury, but those of you who are fans of seeing Lambert’s man-boobs in the Octagon needn’t worry. Jason “The Athlete” MacDonald is stepping in as a replacement for Day, despite the fact that he just went three rounds in a losing effort against Demian Maia at UFC 87. Good move for MacDonald. If you can’t win ‘em all, the next best way to keep the UFC happy is to fight ‘em all, especially when called upon on short notice.

- Poor Nate Quarry just can’t catch a break. After coming back from a nearly career-ending back injury only to be forced to chase Kalib Starnes in circles, Quarry has now been sidelined with an eye injury that is strangely not related to fighting. Apparently Quarry was at a party where people were hitting golf balls into the woods — like you do, just for kicks — and he accidentally walked into someone’s backswing. Despite breaking the Orbital Floor bone in his eye, Quarry is not seriously hurt, though he will be kept out of action for at least a few more months.

- American Top Team coach Andrei Benkei is leaving the squad due to “ideological disagreements” with head coach Ricardo Liborio. Benkei told Tatame that he’ll still work with several high profile ATT fighters like Thiago Alves and “Bigfoot” Silva, among others, but it’s been reported that Benkei disapproved of the way Liborio was turning ATT into “a big McDonald’s” by selling its name to karate gyms. For shame, Ricardo. Karate gyms? That’s the MMA gym equivalent of giving hand jobs in the Wal-Mart parking lot. You never need money that badly.

- It’s not MMA news, but it’s worth mentioning: Sumo wrestling has been rocked by a drug scandal. A totally lame drug scandal. Russian Sumo wrestler (they exist?) Soslan Aleksandrovich Gagloev was arrested for possessing a third of a gram of weed. According to CNN, it’s “enough to land him in prison on a diet of forced labor for five years if he’s convicted.” Five years for a third of a gram in Japan? Nick Diaz should really be informed about that before returning to fight for Dream again.

(Don’t bother Nick before his morning bong rip.)

The California State Athletic Commission determined Wednesday that Nick Diaz will not be cleared to fight Jae Suk Lim at Saturday’s Strikeforce/EliteXC event. Though CSAC executive officer Armando Garcia claims that Diaz’s medical information wasn’t submitted in time for the fight, Gary Shaw refutes this: “He never mentioned anything about late medicals,” said Shaw. “And if there were late medicals it wasn’t because of Nick Diaz and it wasn’t because of EliteXC.”

Diaz underwent the medical tests required to renew his California fight license on March 10th, and noted his prescription for medical marijuana at the time; this controversial element may be at the heart of the dispute. Said Diaz’s manager Cesar Gracie:

“Nick is a naturalist by heart. He thinks Ritalin is an amphetamine. He thinks that’s really bad for you. People with ADD are kind of hyper, so he has trouble sleeping. He got the medical marijuana card and he takes his pot to go to sleep and be more focused. It’s completely legal in California. Voters voted it in. The commission is actually supposed to obey that, so this will probably open up a legal case…If they’re not even going to allow him to test clean, that doesn’t make sense. That’s overstepping their boundaries.”

Steroids actually help my E.D., but I wouldn’t expect the CSAC to bend their rules just because I have a note from my doctor. According to EliteXC Vice President Jared Shaw, Diaz will return to action on June 14 in Hawaii. As for Saturday, Lim will now fight Drew Fickett, who was also left opponent-less after Jake Shields injured his back. The lineup, as it stands now:

Main Card:
Frank Shamrock vs. Cung Le (for Strikeforce middleweight title)
Gilbert Melendez vs. Gabe Lemley (for Strikeforce lightweight title)
Drew Fickett vs. Jae Suk Lim
Mike Kyle vs. Wayne Cole
Joey Villasenor vs. Ryan Jensen

Undercard:
Luke Stewart vs. Tiki Ghosn
Jesse Jones vs. Jesse Gillespie
Darren Uyenoyama vs. Anthony Figueroa

Jennifer Tate has become the first female MMA fighter to test positive for drugs. Results of a drug test administered during EliteXC’s “Clash at Chumash” event — where Tate was submitted by Shayna Baszler via armbar — showed that Tate had marijuana in her system; she has been suspended for three months and fined $500. The spunky 130-pounder joins such notable mixed martial artists as Nick Diaz, Kazuhiro Nakamura, and Diego Sanchez in the previously male-dominated fraternity of fighters who can’t resist taking a few bong rips before a match. Viva equality!