(Video courtesy of YouTube/DiggedyDrake)

Somewhere Steven Seagal is claiming he invented this knockout.

Props: MMAFighting.com

Fights taking place in North America just haven’t worked out for the cheesily-nicknamed Marius “The Whitemare” Zaromskis. Heading into last night’s “Rumble of the Kings”, the DREAM welterweight champion was 0-3 with one no contest on North American soil. Arguably just as bad, his politically incorrect nickname typically is replaced with the totally original “Raging Demon” moniker.

Unfortunately for Bruno Carvalho, last night’s “Rumble of the Kings” took place in Stockholm, Sweden.

(Lee and Jordan Mein)

According to a Facebook post made by his father Lee, who is also his manager and trainer, Canadian welterweight standout Jordan “Young Gun” Mein has inked a multi-fight deal with Strikeforce and will likely compete on the promotion’s planned September card.

A native of Lethbridge, Alberta, Mein (22-7) has been fighting since he was 16 years old. He trains out of his father’s Canadian Martial Arts Centre – the gym responsible for also launching the careers of UFC veterans Jason Day and Jesse Bongfeldt.

Mein will be riding a five-fight win streak when he steps into the Strikeforce cage, including a decision nod over DREAM welterweight champion Marius Zaromskis in his last bout and wins over Joe Riggs and Josh Burkman. His last loss was a hard-fought decision to Jason High last August.

Sorry, Nation. This will not be happening again this Saturday. VidProps: lsydogma01/YouTube

Well, dammit again. The upcoming (and ludicrously titled) DREAM card took another hit when it was announced that Hayato Sakurai was suffering from a leg injury and would not be able to compete against Marius Zaromskis this Saturday. The non-title bout was a rematch; Zaromskis scored a head kick KO that you’ve not doubt seen (which will not stop us from showing you again) when the two met in DREAM’s welterweight GP event two years ago. Zaromskis went on to win the title with another headkick knockout over Jason High.

Zaromskis will instead meet Pancrase and DEEP veteran Eiji Ishikawa, a journeyman grappler out of Tokyo’s Grabaka gym. Ishikawa’s record carries losses to some guys you know (Hector Lombard, Yushin Okami, Yuki Kondo), a draw with Nate Marquardt (under the Pancrase banner back in 2004), and one win over a guy you’ve ever heard of (a majority decision over Ryo Chonan in 2002). In forty fights, Ishikawa has just six stoppage wins. So … yeah.
Man, what is up with main events in 2011?

[RX]

ATTENTION PAUL BUENTELLO: Please do this at Bellator 48.  PLEASE.

“The only great failure in life is the failure to try.” -Some old wise man, probably with a large beard

Fail is sort of like porn. You can’t really define it properly, but you know it when you see it. And brother, we’ve seen some fail watching our favorite sport. It can happen anytime, from walking out to the ring, to celebrating your victory (see above), and anytime between. We here at CagePotato hold MMA and fighters in our highest regard … but we still like to point and laugh every once in a while. Allow us to present to you our first (in what we assume will be many) installment of MMA Fails.

Special thanks go out to anyone and everyone who ever GIF’d a video, including the fine people at UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO.  Props.

Now let’s get it on!

The dearth of awesome fan-made promos does not bode well for DREAM. VidProps: DREAM

DREAM returns for the final round of the Japan Bantamweight Grand Prix on July 16, and there are a few interesting matchups on the card (which is apparently *not* DREAM.17 as we’d been thinking). Even if there weren’t, it’s smack in the middle of the summer MMA doldrums, and there’s not much else going on. Even if there were something else going on, jesus, don’t you assholes care about Japan?

Come on in past the jump and we’ll fill you in on the bouts slated for the event, with a few notes for your enlightenment and/or entertainment. Just call us the love child of the Buddha and Louis CK.

Fickett vs. Cobb from zpzp420 on Vimeo.

A veritable treasure trove of MMA action kicked off with two events last night, MFC 30 and “The Score Fighting Series”. Even if those organizations don’t ring a bell for you, they did line up recognizable names for their cards, and we’ve got the videos of who did what to whom.

At MFC 30, Brian Cobb showed no intimidation when the opening bell rang, but shortly after standing back up from a Drew Fickett takedown, the 18-6 prospect found himself in a world of trouble. Just a minute into the fight, Fickett took Cobb’s back standing, locking up a body triangle and working for his 31^st submission when the fight hit the ground. Three and a half minutes and a dozen rear naked choke attempts later, Cobb turned into Fickett’s guard and unloaded a barrage of unanswered punches forcing the ref to halt the bout. To his credit, Fickett did meet all of the criteria needed to challenge an early stoppage, but from the replay it looked like the only thing supporting his bobblehead was the bottom rope.

After the jump, video of Spratt-Davis, a video recap of The Score, and full results.

(Video courtesy of TheScore.ca)

A rumored June 10 bout between fast-rising Canadian welterweight Jordan Mein and DREAM 170-pound kingpin Marius Zaromskis was made official today as representatives from The Score Fighting Series confirmed the main event pairing.

Zaromskis will pose the biggest challenge of the career of the 21-7 Albertan, who defeated UFC veterans Joe Riggs (TKO) and Josh Burkman (decision) in his last two outings. “Young Guns” is hoping that a win over a fighter like Zaromskis will elicit a call from the UFC.

“I pride myself on being entertaining and putting on a good show for the crowd,” says Mein. “I know Marius will give me a great fight and test my abilities.”

(“Whitemare” vs. “Young Guns” will fight over who has the lamest nickname.)

A welterweight match-up between DREAM 170-pound kingpin Marius Zaromskis and fast-rising Canadian prospect Jordan Mein is in the works for the June 10 Score Fighting Series event in Mississauga.

(Alistair Overeem vs. Todd Duffee. Fight starts at the 3:41 mark and ends 19 seconds later. Good night Ireeeene.)

Full results from today’s New Year’s Eve event in Saitama, Japan, are after the jump, along with a few must-see videos courtesy of ZP420MMA. Note: Bob Sapp apparently backed out of his IGF slap-fight-rules bout with Shinichi Suzukawa at the last minute.

("That’s what I thought, bitch!" Photo courtesy of the Kazushi Sakuraba – Laughter 7 Facebook page)

As first reported by MMA Junkie, Japanese MMA legend Kazushi Sakuraba will return to action on New Year’s Eve at Dynamite!! 2010, where he’ll challenge Marius Zaromskis for DREAM’s welterweight title. Though the 41-year-old vet has generally competed as a middleweight, he’ll be dropping to the lighter division following back-to-back losses against Ralek Gracie and Jason Miller. 

The match will also serve as a comeback attempt for Zaromskis, who’s coming off of a disastrous Strikeforce run this year which saw him suffer first-round knockouts against Nick Diaz and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos, then eye-poke his way into a six-second no-contest against Waachim Spiritwolf last month. Zaromskis went 4-0 under the DREAM banner in 2009, with three of those wins coming via head-kick knockout.

As of now, the only other fights booked for this year’s Dynamite!! card are a featherweight title fight between Bibiano Fernandes and Hiroyuki Takaya, and a lightweight feature between Josh Thomson and Tatsuya Kawajiri. Shinya Aoki, Melvin Manhoef, and Gegard Mousasi are also reported for the event, but their fights haven’t been finalized. But hey, the show’s not for another three weeks. Plenty of time.

(Our thoughts exactly, Waachiim. PicProps: Strikeforce)

Without question, the most memorable part of Friday night’s Strikeforce  Challengers 12 broadcast came not from the fights, but during an unexpected television appearance by Strikeforce rules director Cory Schafer. After the tepidly anticipated bout between Marius Zaromskis and Waachiim Spiritwolf was declared a no contest when Zaromskis opened the first round with a flying finger to Spiritwolf’s eyeball, Schafer didn’t just afford himself well during his 30 seconds on camera with Mauro Ranallo, he owned it. In fact, immediately following five minutes of the Strikeforce announce team bitching about how no one understands the rules of MMA, Schafer gave the impression that he’d been waiting his whole life to come on TV and tell us all – especially Mauro – off about it.  Also, Strikeforce has a rules director. Who knew?

(Props: Strikeforce. For a larger version, go here.)

Junie Browning has a grenade tattooed on his hand because he could go off at any time. War Machine has an anarchy symbol on his hand because fuck a government. Waachiim Spiritwolf has a bear’s head tattooed on his hand because he’s a Native American warrior with excellent taste in body art. Marius Zaromskis is a strong favorite in their meeting at Strikeforce Challengers tonight — but you should never count out a man whose power-hand embodies the soul of an angry grizzly. That’s all I’m saying.

In all our excitement for Rampage vs. Machida, we haven’t really put much effort into covering the *other* event this weekend — Strikeforce Challengers: Wilcox vs. Ribeiro, which goes down tomorrow night at the Jackson Convention Complex in Jackson, Mississippi. The main card will be broadcast live on Showtime beginning at 11 p.m. ET. But should you actually take the time to watch it? Consult the flowchart below and find out. For the vision-impaired, there’s a larger version right here.

(Damn, Anthony, if you can’t get psyched around this crowd, we don’t know what to tell you.)

One day, mankind will realize that fighting is a counter-productive act, leading to only misery and division. Until then…

— Returning from his painful loss to Mirko Cro Cop in June, UFC heavyweight Pat Barry will step back into the Octagon against Joey "The Mexicutioner" Beltran at UFC Fight for the Troops 2. Beltran is also looking to get back to the W column, having dropped a decision to Matt Mitrione at UFC 119.

— Former WEC bantamweight champ Miguel Torres continues his path back to contendership against Antonio Banuelos at UFC 126 in February. Torres recently snapped a two-fight losing skid by choking at Charlie Valencia at WEC 51. Banuelos outpointed Chad George at the same event, and has won four of his last five.

 
(Rooting against these guys will be easy, but who do you root for in this one?)

United Glory recently announced that it will be putting on a pretty decent eight-man welterweight tournament that will include guys like former BoDog Fight champion Nick "The Goat" Thompson, DREAM 170-pound tournament winner Marius Zaromskis and Roan Carneiro.

Although the line-up is decent, one hypothetical match-up that could materialize may be more intriguing than the fight card itself.

(After shaving his chest and face, Karo hit 170 with ease.)

Karo Parisyan spoke with MMAJunkie Radio yesterday and explained in depth the Strikeforce deal, codenamed by the promotion’s CEO Scott Coker as "a cup of coffee," that never materialized.

According to the beleaguered former UFC fighter who has admitted that he has struggled with anxiety and although he hasn’t confirmed the rumor, is said to have battled addiction to painkillers the past few years, the contract was all but drawn up and it was he who rejected the deal because of certain provisions.

(Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos vs. Marius Zaromskis)

From last night’s event at the Nokia Theatre. Props: ZP840.

(Tim Kennedy vs. Trevor Prangley)

("You think you scare me, Whitemare? I bang Cris Cyborg. Voluntarily." Photo courtesy of the Strikeforce LA Live Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

Q: Why are we watching a Strikeforce event on Showtime, in the middle of the damn week, ten days before a bigger Strikeforce event on Showtime?

A: Why the hell not?

The stakes are relatively low, but the matchups are promising. In the main event, Renato Sobral and Robbie Lawler slug it out in a moneyweight battle for a potential title shot down the road. Welterweights Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos and Marius "The Whitemare" Zaromskis meet in a guaranteed basher. Plus, Army Staff Sergeant Tim Kennedy defends his country’s honor against South African veteran Trevor Prangley, and KJ Noons returns to the cage against Conor Heun. Round-by-round results await you after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let’s hope these fights end early so I can go to bed.

(Marius Zaromskis had no idea getting kicked in the face was so unpleasant. If you’ll excuse him, he has some apologies he needs to get to. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

Who’s up and who’s down after a weekend of fistic goodness on Showtime? The Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to tell us, so everyone gather ‘round and pay attention.  We are in no mood to repeat ourselves.

Nick Diaz +137
Stockton’s finest does it again, deflecting “The Whitemare’s” assault and putting him away with relative ease. Flushing the THC out of his system must have been harder than the actual fight, and way less fun. Strikeforce says “Mach” Sakurai is likely next for Diaz, despite his two-fight losing streak and general recent decline. Guess a fight with Jay Hieron would just make too much sense.

Marius Zaromskis -73
You can’t fault the guy for a lack of aggression. His early blitz almost panned out, but Diaz’s height and reach advantage helped him stay out of range and wear Zaromskis down. We’d still like to see more of him in Strikeforce, though. Any guy who brings the fight like Zaromskis will always have a place in MMA.

(Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis)

From last night’s Strikeforce: Miami show. More after the jump…

("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)

Tonight’s Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can’t-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you’ve got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title against head-kickin’ rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you’re not excited for this card, then you probably don’t use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket.  It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with.  But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’  That’s when it all feels…worth it?

Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view.  For example:

– A decision should not be decided by takedowns.  It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.

– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards.  Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.

(Nick Diaz, photographed here saying something very articulate and respectful. Props: AllElbows.)

According to MMA Weekly, Strikeforce’s January 30th event in Sunrise, Florida, will be headlined by Nick Diaz and Lithuanian head-kick-artist Marius Zaromskis battling for the organization’s vacant welterweight title. Diaz, who hasn’t competed since his submission win over Scott Smith in June, was originally scheduled to fight Jay Hieron for the welterweight strap at "Carano vs. Cyborg" in August, but was pulled from the card after skipping a pre-fight drug test.  MMA Weekly points out that while the Florida State Boxing Commission (which oversees MMA in that state) prohibits performance enhancers and narcotic use, it doesn’t require a pre-fight test for "drugs of abuse," and it doesn’t have any bylaws addressing “compassionate use."

In other words, Diaz should be able to compete there without too much of an issue, though who knows if we’ll ever see him fight in his home state again. Unfortunately, this leaves Hieron as the odd man out once again, which must piss him off to no end considering he signed with Strikeforce specifically to fight Diaz for a belt. "Strikeforce: Miami" is also slated to feature Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s first title defense against Marloes Coenen and the Strikeforce debuts of Herschel Walker and Bobby Lashley.

Related: Only one undercard fighter missed weight for tonight’s Strikeforce event. Also, Mike Whitehead will have a 43-pound weight advantage over King Mo in their heavyweight scrap. CagePotato.com’s liveblog of the Showtime broadcast kicks off at 10 p.m. ET. Don’t be a stranger.

You know you’re somebody in the world of mixed martial arts when A/V genius Genghis Con makes you the subject of one of his mesmerizing videos.  That’s why we’re still waiting for that highlight reel featuring clips of us sitting at our computers to the tune of obscure Japanese pop bands (and we won’t wait forever, Genghis), but in the meantime we can entertain ourselves with some of the Con’s most recent work on new Strikeforce signee Marius "The Raging Demon" Zaromskis.  It’s everything we’ve come to expect from our favorite video editing machine.  The video game-esque music is the perfect compliment to Zaromskis’ ridiculous string of head kick KO’s, and nothing tells you that the guy has a Street Fighter II-like overconfidence in himself quite like the attempted backflip attack at the 2:37 mark.

Not that we can’t understand the reasoning behind it, but we’re still a little disappointed in the change of nickname for Zaromskis.  Sure, "The Whitemare" is the kind of thing that might not play in the U.S., but at least it’s unique.  "Raging Demon" sounds like a skateboard company started by a group of guys who dropped out of community college.  The very least Strikeforce could do is to give him a nickname that is as quirky and uncommon as his last one, even if he ends up hating it as much as Gegard Mousasi despises his.   

(All hail the new Cro Cop. Props: lqdocelot19)

Dream Welterweight Grand Prix champion Marius Zaromskis — who recently scored his third-straight first-round head-kick knockout at Dream.12 — has signed a multi-fight contract with Strikeforce, according to Sherdog. The 29-year-old Lithuanian will still be able to compete in Dream, but could make his U.S. debut at Strikeforce’s December 19th event in San Jose. As you can see on Strikeforce.com’s fighters section, Zaromskis’s awesome but slightly-racially-tinged nickname "The Whitemare" has been changed to the more generic (but still appropriate) "Raging Demon."

It’s a fantastic pickup for Strikeforce, which has been basically waiting for Nick Diaz to get his shit together before they can crown somebody their welterweight champ, to the great disgust of Jay Hieron. Now, Zaromskis can take on Hieron for the vacant belt if Diaz continues to act squirrelly, or kick the crap out of someone like Joe Riggs to establish himself in America first. More to come…

Semi-related: Undefeated lightweight prospect Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm signs two-year contract with Strikeforce.

(Overeem vs. Thompson. Props to DreamCageFights. And special props to Michael Schiavello for predicting that this fight wouldn’t last long. How the hell did he see that one coming?!?)

- Alistair Overeem def. James Thompson via submission (guillotine choke), 0:33 of round 1
- Eddie Alvarez def. Katsunori Kikuno via submission (arm-triangle choke), 3:42 of round 2 
- Marius Zaromskis def. Myeon Ho Bae via KO (head kick), 0:19 of round 1 
- Kazushi Sakuraba def. Zelg Galesic via submission (kneebar), 1:40 of round 1 
- Katsuyori Shibata def. Tokimitsu Ishizawa via TKO, 4:52 of round 1 
- Dong Sik Yoon def. Tarec Saffiedine via split decision 
- Yoshiro Maeda def. Chase Beebe via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:36 of round 1 
- Kuniyoshi Hironaka def. Won Sik Park via TKO (eye injury), 5:00 of round 1
- Tomoya Miyashita def. Keisuke Fujiwara via unanimous decision

More fight videos after the jump…

(Even in the artist’s rendition nobody shows up for this.)

Behold, the hexagonal cage that will make its debut at Dream.12 on October 25.  Sure, it seems to have geometrical peculiarities that the Octagon doesn’t have, such as the two sides of the fence that are way longer than all the other sides, but at least they had the good sense not to refer to it as The Hex, which is still the most profoundly bad MMA marketing idea this side of The YAMMA.  According to Dream’s announcement, this cage won’t become their go-to surface for all events from now on.  Instead, they plan to hold one special cage event each year, presumably to keep that wrathful God(zilla?) from destroying their island nation.

In addition to their new cage, Dream.12 will supposedly feature fights that are three, five-minute rounds.  Right now they’ve got a pretty sweet lightweight fight between DEEP champ Katsunori Kikuno and Eddie Alvarez, along with a group of “planned participants” that includes Alistair Overeem, Marius Zaromskis, and crazy ass Paulo Filho.  In other words, it could be a pretty solid event if those guys all actually show up.  So why is Dream trying to become a half-assed version of the UFC?

(Props: spicadocious via Fightlinker)

This kickass highlight reel — which could also be titled "Rise of the Whitemare" — covers DREAM’s welterweight grand prix from earlier this year, in which Marius Zaromskis smashed his way to the top of an eight-man field that also included such notables as Hayato Sakurai, Shinya Aoki, and Andre Galvao. Highlights include Zaromskis’s fake-flying-knee superman punch at the 2:39 mark, and of course his knockout-of-the-year candidate against Jason High at the 4:19 mark. DREAM returns on October 8th with the semifinals and finals of its featherweight grand prix, the second round of the Super Hulk Tournament, and the lightweight title fight between Joachim Hansen and Shinya Aoki.

After the jump: Anderson Silva shows off his boxing skills against a local pugilist at Freddie Roach’s boxing club.

(Props: OlavDigre via IronLife)

Now that we all know who Marius Zaromskis is, it’s time for fanboys around the world to crown him "the next Anderson Silva" — and this new AC/DC-soundtracked highlight reel makes a pretty strong case for that claim. The UFC needs to sign this dude so he can start head-kicking some of the weak links straight out of their welterweight division. The Whitemare is balls-out excitement, 150% of the time. Believe that.

After the jump: Another highlight reel, for another "next Anderson Silva," and a strange little fight from DREAM.10 that you may not have seen yet, but really should.