(Marius Zaromskis had no idea getting kicked in the face was so unpleasant. If you’ll excuse him, he has some apologies he needs to get to. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

Who’s up and who’s down after a weekend of fistic goodness on Showtime? The Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to tell us, so everyone gather ‘round and pay attention.  We are in no mood to repeat ourselves.

Nick Diaz +137
Stockton’s finest does it again, deflecting “The Whitemare’s” assault and putting him away with relative ease. Flushing the THC out of his system must have been harder than the actual fight, and way less fun. Strikeforce says “Mach” Sakurai is likely next for Diaz, despite his two-fight losing streak and general recent decline. Guess a fight with Jay Hieron would just make too much sense.

Marius Zaromskis -73
You can’t fault the guy for a lack of aggression. His early blitz almost panned out, but Diaz’s height and reach advantage helped him stay out of range and wear Zaromskis down. We’d still like to see more of him in Strikeforce, though. Any guy who brings the fight like Zaromskis will always have a place in MMA.

(Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis)

From last night’s Strikeforce: Miami show. More after the jump…

("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)

Tonight’s Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can’t-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you’ve got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title against head-kickin’ rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you’re not excited for this card, then you probably don’t use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket.  It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with.  But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’  That’s when it all feels…worth it?

Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view.  For example:

– A decision should not be decided by takedowns.  It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.

– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards.  Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.

(Nick Diaz, photographed here saying something very articulate and respectful. Props: AllElbows.)

According to MMA Weekly, Strikeforce’s January 30th event in Sunrise, Florida, will be headlined by Nick Diaz and Lithuanian head-kick-artist Marius Zaromskis battling for the organization’s vacant welterweight title. Diaz, who hasn’t competed since his submission win over Scott Smith in June, was originally scheduled to fight Jay Hieron for the welterweight strap at "Carano vs. Cyborg" in August, but was pulled from the card after skipping a pre-fight drug test.  MMA Weekly points out that while the Florida State Boxing Commission (which oversees MMA in that state) prohibits performance enhancers and narcotic use, it doesn’t require a pre-fight test for "drugs of abuse," and it doesn’t have any bylaws addressing “compassionate use."

In other words, Diaz should be able to compete there without too much of an issue, though who knows if we’ll ever see him fight in his home state again. Unfortunately, this leaves Hieron as the odd man out once again, which must piss him off to no end considering he signed with Strikeforce specifically to fight Diaz for a belt. "Strikeforce: Miami" is also slated to feature Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s first title defense against Marloes Coenen and the Strikeforce debuts of Herschel Walker and Bobby Lashley.

Related: Only one undercard fighter missed weight for tonight’s Strikeforce event. Also, Mike Whitehead will have a 43-pound weight advantage over King Mo in their heavyweight scrap. CagePotato.com’s liveblog of the Showtime broadcast kicks off at 10 p.m. ET. Don’t be a stranger.

You know you’re somebody in the world of mixed martial arts when A/V genius Genghis Con makes you the subject of one of his mesmerizing videos.  That’s why we’re still waiting for that highlight reel featuring clips of us sitting at our computers to the tune of obscure Japanese pop bands (and we won’t wait forever, Genghis), but in the meantime we can entertain ourselves with some of the Con’s most recent work on new Strikeforce signee Marius "The Raging Demon" Zaromskis.  It’s everything we’ve come to expect from our favorite video editing machine.  The video game-esque music is the perfect compliment to Zaromskis’ ridiculous string of head kick KO’s, and nothing tells you that the guy has a Street Fighter II-like overconfidence in himself quite like the attempted backflip attack at the 2:37 mark.

Not that we can’t understand the reasoning behind it, but we’re still a little disappointed in the change of nickname for Zaromskis.  Sure, "The Whitemare" is the kind of thing that might not play in the U.S., but at least it’s unique.  "Raging Demon" sounds like a skateboard company started by a group of guys who dropped out of community college.  The very least Strikeforce could do is to give him a nickname that is as quirky and uncommon as his last one, even if he ends up hating it as much as Gegard Mousasi despises his.   

(All hail the new Cro Cop. Props: lqdocelot19)

Dream Welterweight Grand Prix champion Marius Zaromskis — who recently scored his third-straight first-round head-kick knockout at Dream.12 — has signed a multi-fight contract with Strikeforce, according to Sherdog. The 29-year-old Lithuanian will still be able to compete in Dream, but could make his U.S. debut at Strikeforce’s December 19th event in San Jose. As you can see on Strikeforce.com’s fighters section, Zaromskis’s awesome but slightly-racially-tinged nickname "The Whitemare" has been changed to the more generic (but still appropriate) "Raging Demon."

It’s a fantastic pickup for Strikeforce, which has been basically waiting for Nick Diaz to get his shit together before they can crown somebody their welterweight champ, to the great disgust of Jay Hieron. Now, Zaromskis can take on Hieron for the vacant belt if Diaz continues to act squirrelly, or kick the crap out of someone like Joe Riggs to establish himself in America first. More to come…

Semi-related: Undefeated lightweight prospect Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm signs two-year contract with Strikeforce.

(Overeem vs. Thompson. Props to DreamCageFights. And special props to Michael Schiavello for predicting that this fight wouldn’t last long. How the hell did he see that one coming?!?)

- Alistair Overeem def. James Thompson via submission (guillotine choke), 0:33 of round 1
- Eddie Alvarez def. Katsunori Kikuno via submission (arm-triangle choke), 3:42 of round 2 
- Marius Zaromskis def. Myeon Ho Bae via KO (head kick), 0:19 of round 1 
- Kazushi Sakuraba def. Zelg Galesic via submission (kneebar), 1:40 of round 1 
- Katsuyori Shibata def. Tokimitsu Ishizawa via TKO, 4:52 of round 1 
- Dong Sik Yoon def. Tarec Saffiedine via split decision 
- Yoshiro Maeda def. Chase Beebe via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:36 of round 1 
- Kuniyoshi Hironaka def. Won Sik Park via TKO (eye injury), 5:00 of round 1
- Tomoya Miyashita def. Keisuke Fujiwara via unanimous decision

More fight videos after the jump…

(Even in the artist’s rendition nobody shows up for this.)

Behold, the hexagonal cage that will make its debut at Dream.12 on October 25.  Sure, it seems to have geometrical peculiarities that the Octagon doesn’t have, such as the two sides of the fence that are way longer than all the other sides, but at least they had the good sense not to refer to it as The Hex, which is still the most profoundly bad MMA marketing idea this side of The YAMMA.  According to Dream’s announcement, this cage won’t become their go-to surface for all events from now on.  Instead, they plan to hold one special cage event each year, presumably to keep that wrathful God(zilla?) from destroying their island nation.

In addition to their new cage, Dream.12 will supposedly feature fights that are three, five-minute rounds.  Right now they’ve got a pretty sweet lightweight fight between DEEP champ Katsunori Kikuno and Eddie Alvarez, along with a group of “planned participants” that includes Alistair Overeem, Marius Zaromskis, and crazy ass Paulo Filho.  In other words, it could be a pretty solid event if those guys all actually show up.  So why is Dream trying to become a half-assed version of the UFC?

(Props: spicadocious via Fightlinker)

This kickass highlight reel — which could also be titled "Rise of the Whitemare" — covers DREAM’s welterweight grand prix from earlier this year, in which Marius Zaromskis smashed his way to the top of an eight-man field that also included such notables as Hayato Sakurai, Shinya Aoki, and Andre Galvao. Highlights include Zaromskis’s fake-flying-knee superman punch at the 2:39 mark, and of course his knockout-of-the-year candidate against Jason High at the 4:19 mark. DREAM returns on October 8th with the semifinals and finals of its featherweight grand prix, the second round of the Super Hulk Tournament, and the lightweight title fight between Joachim Hansen and Shinya Aoki.

After the jump: Anderson Silva shows off his boxing skills against a local pugilist at Freddie Roach’s boxing club.

(Props: OlavDigre via IronLife)

Now that we all know who Marius Zaromskis is, it’s time for fanboys around the world to crown him "the next Anderson Silva" — and this new AC/DC-soundtracked highlight reel makes a pretty strong case for that claim. The UFC needs to sign this dude so he can start head-kicking some of the weak links straight out of their welterweight division. The Whitemare is balls-out excitement, 150% of the time. Believe that.

After the jump: Another highlight reel, for another "next Anderson Silva," and a strange little fight from DREAM.10 that you may not have seen yet, but really should.

Okay, Marius Zaromskis surprised the hell out of us by winning the Dream welterweight tournament thanks to consecutive head kicks.  So does that mean it’s worth our time to try and learn a little about this guy?  Probably, yeah, and we say that despite being incredibly lazy.  After a minimal amount of internet sleuthing, here are some things worth knowing about your new top dog in the Dream welterweight ranks:

(Zaromskis vs. High. Props to MMA Linker.)

We should have known there would be trouble after Hayato "Mach" Sakurai needed seven and a half extra hours to make weight for today’s DREAM’s welterweight GP finals. The tournament favorite might have been fighting through exhaustion when he met Marius Zaromskis in the semis, in a bout marked by wild striking exchanges. Sakurai absorbed the more damaging blows, and the fight was halted about four minutes in so that doctors could check on a spurting gash under Mach’s left eye. When it was finally restarted after a long break, Zaromskis measured up Sakurai then threw a high left kick that put his lights out. A few more punches on the ground, and it was game over.

On the other side of the bracket, Jason High scored an upset of his own, handing jiu-jitsu juggernaut Andre Galvao his first MMA loss in a very close decision fight; one judge gave it to Galvao for his submission attempts in the first round, while the other two saw it for High due to his superior striking in the second. But the thrill of victory wouldn’t last long for High, as Zaromskis scored another head kick knockout — this time with the right leg — in their finals match.

In non-tournament action, Shinya Aoki outpointed Vitor Ribeiro in a disappointingly dull 15-minute bout, Dong Sik Yoon had to quit just a minute into his fight against Jesse Taylor after suffering a foot injury, and Paulo Filho survived a brutal striking assault from Melvin Manhoef and won the fight via armbar in what might be the leading contender for comeback fight of 2009. Complete results and more DREAM.10 fight videos are after the jump.