*sigh*

Sometimes, there’s no shame in being a can crusher. As much as we love watching close fights between our sport’s top fighters, some of our sport’s most entertaining finishes came to fruition because a fighter of reasonable competence was locked in the cage with an utterly hopeless ham-n-egger. There’s nothing wrong with pounding the bejesus out of a hapless jobber every once in a while, which is exactly what Mariusz Pudzianowski, Jan Blachowicz and Dusan Panajotovic did yesterday. Fortunately for us, they filmed it for posterity as well.

At thirty-five years old, “can crusher” is probably the ceiling for five-time World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski’s MMA career. The odds of him ending up in the big leagues outside of his home country are pretty slim- which is perfect, because he seems more than content to smash freaks and nobodies in front of enthusiastic Polish fans. At yesterday’s KSW 20, Pudzianowski faced 4-1 Greek American prospect Christos Piliafas. All of Piliafas’ fights have ended by TKO- four of which in the first round. A technical grappling clinic this would not be, as Pudzianowski scored takedowns and eventually punched out Piliafas 3:48 seconds into round one. Unfortunately, videos of this scrap have quickly been taken off of YouTube. We know, we’re just as heartbroken as you are.

But as a consolation prize, we’re going to offer you KSW Light Heavyweight Champion Jan Blachowicz’s successful title defense against Houston Alexander from the same card. A win over Alexander may not mean too much anymore, yet Blachowicz never appeared in trouble throughout the fight. Unfortunately, save for an armbar at the end of round one and a triangle choke at the end of round two, neither did Alexander. Okay, so it’s a pretty lousy consolation prize. Whaddayagonnado?

Is there ANYTHING about this man that makes him unqualified to talk about the infinitely accelerating current of creativity? Didn’t think so.

If last night taught us anything, it’s that some things never change. Nick Diaz will be Nick Diaz. Kimbo Slice will crush cans. And literally anything that involves Bob Sapp will lack anything that resembles dignity. What a universe we live in.

But today is Mother’s Day, so I’m going to try to be somewhat positive for a few sentences. The good news to come out of this event is that Matt Horwich managed to snap a four fight skid with a third round TKO over Poland’s own Antoni Chmielewski, who was 22-8 coming into this fight. Horwich has always been an interesting character, sort of a non-juiced up hippy Ultimate Warrior. Even though he’s too crazy for most major promotions to take a chance on him (not to mention his pedestrian 27-21 record), he fits in just fine with KSW’s roster. That wouldn’t usually be intended as a compliment, but in whatever section of the multiverse Matt Horwich is from, it is.

Video of Horwich’s victory and the freak show that was Bob Sapp vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski after the jump.

(This is approximately how you will feel after watching the video.) 

You know, for all the bizarre shenanigans Rampage Jackson seems to be getting himself into these days, he will never hold a candle to Bob Sapp. At this point in “The Beast’s” career, he has pretty much become a walking punchline in every sense of the word; a parody of a parody, if you will. And though it is easy to take shots at perhaps the lowest hanging fruit in the MMA landscape, we’re going to do it anyway. Let’s be honest, we follow Bob Sapp for the same reason that people watch reality television — to feel better about themselves afterward. He is the Troll 2 of mixed martial arts, a fighter so terrible that one only watches him participate out of a need to feel ironic. Why can’t we look away, you ask? Because white america has never felt less threatened by a 300 pound muscular black man in the history of its existence, and we like the feeling.

Clearly Sapp has begun to embrace this image to its fullest extent, for what else can one do when in the midst of what will likely become a record setting losing streak? If you don’t believe us, just check out the promo he made for his upcoming May 12th KSW 19 clash with Mariusz Pudzianowski, courtesy of IronForgesIron. In a word, it is a revelation.

CagePotato Roundtable is our new recurring column in which the CP writing staff and some of our friends all get together to debate an MMA-related topic. Joining us this week is former CagePotato staff writer Chad Dundas, who now writes for an up-and-coming blog called ESPN. If you have a suggestion for a future Roundtable column, send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

CagePotato reader Alexander W. writes: “The Demetrious Johnson vs. Ian McCall fight inspired my suggestion: Greatest robberies in MMA history. I’d be curious to hear the variety of opinions out there. Surely that fight was a top ten.”

Chad Dundas

There are a lot of things about Pride Total Elimination 2003 that don’t make sense when viewed with modern MMA sensibilities. How to even comprehend a world where a skinny, haired-up, suit jacket-wearing Dana White could bet Pride bigwigs $250,000 that Chuck Liddell was going to win that company’s 2003 middleweight grand prix? Or comprehend that a bizarrely dangerous and clearly-enunciating Liddell showed up in the first round of said tournament and KTFOed an impossibly svelte Alistair Overeem? Or that Overeem had an old dude in a robe and shriners hat accompany him to the ring while carrying a big foam hammer? Or that on this night somebody got tapped out with a sleeve choke? Or that Wanderlei Silva fought Kazushi Sakuraba and it didn’t just make everybody feel sad and empty?

No sense at all.

What does still sort of make sense is this: After watching Liddell sleep Overeem, there was no way on God’s green Earth that Pride judges were going to let another UFC emissary walk out of Saitama Super Arena with a win*, so they conspired to pull off one of the greatest screwjobs in MMA history when they awarded Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira a unanimous decision over Ricco Rodriguez. The indisputable fact is, Ricco whipped Big Nog good that night, taking him down, brutalizing him, shaking off his feeble submission attempts and controlling pretty much the whole affair. At least, that’s how I remember it. Unfortunately, due to Zuffa’s ongoing war on Internet piracy it seems their bout will only be remembered by history and by the creepy old man who answers the queries you submit to the Sherdog Fight Finder.

(Props: YouTube.com/RobertBurneika via CagePotato reader Piotr B. Skip to 1:47 for the good stuff.)

Robert Burneika is a cartoonishly bulky, Lithuanian-born bodybuilding champion who goes by the nickname “Hardkorowy Koksu,” which Google tells me is Polish for “Hardcore Coke.” (I guess the dude likes to party?) Following in the footsteps of Mariusz Pudzianowski, Burneika is set to make his MMA debut in the main event of MMA Attack 2, April 27th in Spodek, Poland. Coincidentally, or maybe not coincidentally, Burneika will be facing off against Marcin Najman (0-2), best known as the guy who Pudzianowski steamrolled in his own MMA debut.

To this point, Burneika’s martial arts experience has been limited to fucking up watermelons, although he’s apparently been picking up some knowledge from Robert Drysdale lately. Here’s a clip of Hardcore Coke in action, showing off his Gallagher-inspired high-kicks. If he can land that thing on Najman, we’ll have a new super-hulk contender on our hands. After the jump: Burneika works the heavy bag and shows off his cooking skills.

(I see trouble a brewin’ on the horizon.) 

Given their frequency within the sport, we oft discuss the rematch here at CagePotato: we’ve mentioned a few that we’d like to see, we’ve mocked the possible occurence of others, and we’ve even gone as far as to predict how future ones would go down. And with 2011 featuring over 10 in the UFC alone, we decided to take a look back at at a year that both showcased and disgraced the awesomeness that is the rematch. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you?

The Ones We Needed to See 

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Yushin Okami at UFC 134

(Silva v. Okami, though this image could be from just about any of Silva’s fights.) 

Why it had to happen: Because the first fight marked the last time Silva had lost…at anything, and even if it was by way of illegal upkick DQ, it was enough to convince some people that Okami had his number. Plus, Okami had earned his shot by this point, and we were getting pretty damned tired of debating this old issue.

How it happened: Absolute. Domination. In typical fashion, Silva toyed with Okami like he was wrestling with his 4 year old nephew, letting the audience know that the fight would end when he decided it would. A head kick that rocked Okami at the end of the first round reinforced this belief, and Silva mercifully finished him off in the second. Cut. Print. TKO.

What it proved: That, outside of Chael Sonnen, there are no threats left in the UFC’s middleweight division for Anderson Silva. As with Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, Silva must journey to another weight class if he desires a true challenge. Even DW is coming around to the idea, sort of.

We got the following snapshot of one of the judge’s scorecards from Saturday night’s KSW 17 show from a reader today and we’re still trying to decipher what the hell it means.

(Pudz v. Thompson, courtesy of Ironforgesiron) 

If there was anyone out there who felt that a rematch between former World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowksi and world renowned punching bag James Thompson was an absolute necessity, well then I hope you’re satisfied. The fight, which went down yesterday and thankfully was only scheduled for two rounds, saw Thompson thoroughly dominate Pudzianowski in the first round with top control and pitter-patter punches from side control. In fact, the most significant offense Pudianowski was able to mount was a fricken’ jab early in the second that managed to rock Thompson nonetheless. However, the judges, whom I can only assume were members of Pudzianowski’s immediate family, saw the fight in his favor, despite Thompson’s multiple takedowns that would have won him the fight in any other promotion on this planet. “Revenge” indeed.

It’s just baffling how anyone could have given Mariusz that fight, especially considering how the first round went. But perhaps more interesting than the fight itself was that of the post fight interview, wherein Thompson stole the microphone and went on a verbal tirade that would have made Brock Lesnar be like, “Chill, bro.”

The evening’s main event saw Mamed Khalidov score another quick submission win over TUF 7 alum and late replacement for Paulo Filho, Jesse Taylor, to retain his middleweight title. Capitalizing on an early takedown from “JT Money,” Khalidov transitioned beautifully between submission attempts, finally locking in a kneebar just 46 seconds into the fight. I think it’s safe to say that Khalidov is currently one of the most overlooked fighters in the middleweight division, and if the UFC doesn’t give him a call then they will be seriously missing out.

In other action, Polish born fighter Jan Blachowicz evened the score with Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, taking away a unanimous decision victory over the Cameroonian and scoring some revenge of his own for his second round TKO via retirement loss to Sokoudjou back at KSW 15.

And the bad luck streak continued for our buddy Matt Horwich, who dropped his third straight unanimous decision loss to Michal Materla. I guess we can salvage the fact that someone with a Dan Quinn level of craziness is still competing on a professional level, right?

Full results from the event, Thompson’s tirade, and the Khalidov submission are all after the jump, courtesy of Ironforgesiron. 

Weigh-in video, courtesy of IronForgesIron.com

In the absence of a UFC event tonight, many of you are going to tune in to Bellator 59 to catch this season’s Heavyweight and Bantamweight tournament finals. But let’s say that Bellator isn’t your scene. Let’s say that you’re the type of person to watch an event and say “This is fun and all, but I’d much rather watch freak show fights and can crushing”. Well, good news: Your favorite Polish promotion, KSW returns tonight with both of the above.

It’s almost fitting that a fighter known for pulling out of fights would pull out of his retirement fight. Astute readers may have remembered that KSW 17 was supposed to be Paulo Filho’s final fight, but that FIlho, as he’s known to do, pulled out of the fight at the last minute. Jesse “JT Money” Taylor has been recruited as a late replacement to take on Mamed Khalidov, who was last seen choking out Matt Lindland at KSW 16.

Video Props: MiddleEasy via MMARocks.pl

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, the day of a UFC event is always a pretty slow news day. Aside from last second hype for the event and the occasional minor league show with people you’ve actually heard of, we have to get creative with our definition of “news”. So when MiddleEasy posted a video of Aleksander Emelianenko training with World’s Strongest Man turned MMA fighter Mariusz Pudzianowski, it was a pretty easy decision to pass this along.

I’ll be honest, I kind of assumed that Aleksander’s busy schedule of crushing cans, getting prison tattoos and not having hepatitis left him zero time to actually train. For that matter, I also assumed that when you’re a decorated Russian criminal and Fedor Emelianenko’s younger brother, you wouldn’t need to practice to be really good at hurting people. Different strokes, I suppose.

(Matt Lindland vs. Mamed Khalidov)

From today’s KSW event at the Ergo Arena in Gdansk, Poland. The night’s headliner between Mariusz Pudzianowski and James Thompson — which turned out to be a surprisingly entertaining back-and-forth brawl — is after the jump. (Damn, check out those shots Thompson survives at the 4:27 mark.) Go to IronForgesIron.com for the rest of the videos from the event; full results are here.

(“Hey man, look on the bright side — if you had won, it would have ruined my parlay bet.”)

Talk about flying under the radar. Not sure how this slipped past us until just now, but apparently MMA veteran Matt Lindland will be facing Mamed Khalidov in the co-main event of KSW 16, tomorrow in Gdansk, Poland. (Remember when it was mentioned at Chael Sonnen’s appeals hearing that Lindland couldn’t be at the proceedings because he was in Poland? Yeah, that’s why.)

Lindland, who has suffered first-round stoppage losses in three of his last four fights, is coming off a brain-melting knockout loss to Robbie Lawler last December. Khalidov is on a two-fight win streak, and is returning to action after his quick, predictable submission of James Irvin at KSW’s last event in March.

KSW’s main event will be a heavyweight wheeze-off between strongman-turned-fighter Mariusz Pudzianowski — who’s coming off his submission-via-punches win over Butterbean — and James Thompson, who has secured just one victory in his last ten fights. I appreciated this bit from Sherdog’s weigh-in report:

…really?

In the spirit of covering real news this weekend, we kind of overlooked some fights that are rumored to be going down at KSW 15 in Warsaw, Poland on March 19. I’m sure you’ll get over it. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Mariusz Pudzianowski is rumored to be on this one. According to a report on Five Ounces of Pain, his opponent will be heavy handed British journeyman James Thompson. Fight of the year candidate? Probably not. Decent slugfest? Sure.

More notable than that, though, is that James Irvin is also rumored to be involved with this card. You may remember that James Irvin was recently pulled from a Shark Fights card due to a suspension from the CSAC over a positive steroid test. Because Poland does not have an athletic commission, Irvin is free to fight there. However, he is still subject to repercussions back in America.

(Video courtesy YouTube/rattsnakeratt)

Having watched quite a few of Eric "Butterbean" Esch‘s MMA fights over the years, purely for the comedic value, I’ve taken to calling him "Turtle," because every time he got on his back he was fucked. 

Despite joining American Top Team — a camp known as much for its high-level Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belts as it is for it’s dangerous strikers, Esch has done very little to round out his game in his nearly seven years in the sport. He’s basically just an older, fatter version of the hard-punching jobber he was in boxing.

So when he says things like "Mariusz Pudzianowski is going to be the best heavyweight in the world in two years," his opinion doesn’t hold much water.

He could be trying to talk up the terrible showing he had against The World’s Strongest Man" last weekend in Poland in a first round TKO loss that looked suspiciously like a WWE work, but if Turtle Butterbean truly believes that Mariusz will be the next Fedor or Brock, Moosin might want to reconsider having him as its spokesperson.

"He’s learning very much. He’s come a long way. In two years, I don’t think there would be anybody out there that would be able to compete with Mariusz. So, Poland, they might have to wait two years to have the best MMA man out there. But it’s coming. He’s learning very, very fast," Esch said in an interview after his KSW bout last weekend. "He’s a very smart man. He’s not stupid. He’s very smart. I’ve never said anything bad about Mario, other than he punches like a girl. But he’s a very smart man, very nice, very strong. Two years he’ll be unbeatable."

(Props: ix3623vault)

After a laughably transparent hype-up, Mariusz Pudzianowski and Eric "Butterbean" Esch squared off Saturday night at KSW 14 in Lodz, Poland. The main event was a disaster before the fight even started. Check out the above video, in which an underprepared Polish soul-singer named Mateusz Krauwurst absolutely murders "The Star Spangled Banner" in a botched tribute to Esch’s homeland/shorts. For reference, here’s a quick phonetic transcript:

"Ohhh say can you see
Mah’downse, duh-early lied
Were so proudly behaaaaaaved
Byyyyy the twilight’s that leaving
[pause, scattered laughter]
Hair the rockets were glare
And the rockets were glurrrrrr…
[singer nervously hums, then quits]"

It didn’t bode well for the 450-pound American power-puncher. And unfortunately, the fight was just as embarassing… 

(Much like their varied training regimens, both men have decidedly different pre-fight diets that they follow)

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.

Polish promotion Konfrontacja Sztuk Walki (KSW) announced today that Mariusz "The World’s Strongest Man" Pudzianowski will square off with Eric "Butterbean" Esch September 18 at KSW 14.

Although it wasn’t rocket science to disseminate the press release sent out by Esch’s Moosin promotion in which Butterbean hurled James Toney-esque insults like "he hits like a girl" at Pudzianowski. It appears the release, although not in any way newsworthy on its own, was simply an attempt at building a grudge match for the KSW card.

I’m going to go all in and bet that KSW will be lending Moosin some of its fighters for their next show in Chicago, especially since the promotion has said that they are targeting markets that heavily are populated by Polish descendants. 

Also on the card is a lightweight tournament featuring six fighters, including Swedish-born UFC veteran Per Eklund and Finnish white trash supremacist Nikko Puhakka.

(If a regarded submission and kickboxing specialist like Butterbean thinks Pudz needs to round out his game, it must be true.)

It didn’t take long for Moosin USA promoter Eric "Butterbean" Esch to go into damage control when he saw his potential October 9 main event slip through his fingertips.

A day after Sherdog’s Loretta Hunt quashed Moosin executive Corey Fischer’s claim in a report by MMAFighting that the promotion was finalizing a marquee bout between Kimbo Slice and Mariusz Pudzianowski for the planned Chicago show, Butterbean has spun the situation in a press release sent out by the organization earlier today.

(Eat your heart out, Yamma.)

Well it appears that contrary to popular belief, Moosin MMA may not go the way of the Yamma, just yet.

MMAFighting is reporting that the promotion, which is co-owned and promoted by Eric"Butterbean" Esch and Corey Fischer is planning a second card tentatively scheduled for October 9 in Chicago, Illinois.

According to Fischer, the promotion is in the process of securing a number of main event fights for the card that could potentially include UFC cast-off Kimbo Slice squaring off against "World’s Strongest Man" Mariusz Pudzianowski as well as a battle of awkward gangly brawlers Tim Sylvia and Hong Man Choi.

("I got your Atlas Stones right here, bitch." Props: YouTube)

For Tim Sylvia the best case scenario at “Moosin: God of Martial Arts” was simply, don’t screw this up. The worst case scenario? You lose to shit-talking sideshow Mariusz Pudzianowski and your career is over. Basically, it was a no-win situation for the former UFC heavyweight champion in Massachusetts on Friday night, but that’s the harsh reality when you fuck around and get knocked out by Ray Mercer. Fortunately for Sylvia, he managed to stave off the angels of (professional) death for at least another day, dropping the professional strong man with an uppercut and finishing him with strikes on the ground one minute, 40 seconds into the second round.  

Though it seemed academic once they got in the cage, victory wasn’t a foregone conclusion after Sylvia weighed- in at 305-pounds earlier this week. The Maineiac’s cardio was understandably in question, but it quickly proved to be much higher than that of Pudzianowski.  It took only a few minutes for the Polish carnival barker to turn the shade of deep purple usually reserved for a Hulk Hogan tan job or the latter stages of a Mark Coleman fight.  Maybe that tune-up bout in Poland just two weeks ago wasn’t such a great idea after all, eh Pudzi? After the jump, all the gory details …

(If they were the same guy, this would be a fantastic ad for Trimspa. Photos courtesy of Sherdog.)

Last June, we saw Tim Sylvia’s alarming weight of 310.6 pounds as proof that he didn’t take his fight against Ray Mercer as seriously as he should have. Well you all can put your concerns to rest now, because according to yesterday’s Moosin: God of Martial Arts weigh-ins, the Maine-iac has hacked off a full 5.6 pounds since that brutal loss, suggesting that maybe he’s leaving that last rib on the plate when he goes out and orders three slabs of ribs. We’re proud of you, buddy. In all seriousness, this isn’t a physique competition, and Mariusz Pudzianowski didn’t really impress anybody in his last fight, which took place just two weeks ago. But Tim’s unwillingness to get below 300 pounds (and his doughy, Wes Sims-like build) may be a sign that his heart isn’t really into training these days. After the jump: Full weigh-in results for tonight’s Moosin show, plus a video of Roxy Modafferi and Tara LaRosa getting all chummy before their fight. Have you made your Moosin picks on FightPicker yet?

This Friday, the DCU Center in Worcester will host the oddly-named Moosin: God of Martial Arts event, in what is being billed as the first major, sanctioned MMA event in Massachusetts. The show will be available on pay-per-view, and should feature some entertaining matchups, including the headliner between former UFC champ Tim Sylvia and strongman-turned-MMA-fighter Mariusz Pudzianowski, and the female feature between Tara LaRosa and Roxanne Modafferi. Eric "Butterbean" Esch — who is also the event’s promoter — will be taking on radio host Lyndon Byers, though the fight won’t be part of the PPV broadcast.

Also on Friday, the Strikeforce Challengers series returns to Showtime, headlined by the "WTF, Are You Serious?" match between Matt Lindland and Kevin Casey. Tyron Woodley, Roger Bowling, and Tarec Saffiedine will also be on the card.

The full list of this week’s MMA FightPicker questions are after the jump. Give ‘em a look, and go get those PotatoChips. And if you haven’t done so already, please follow MMA FightPicker on Facebook!

(Kimbo Slice works the pads in preparation for UFC 113 and talks about Meathead being a Meathead. Props: YouTube.com/UFC) 

Bas Rutten travels to the Far East to learn the secret of the Seven Crane Kick. There were no survivors. (Tokyo Five)

UFC Preview Show With Pat Barry (MMAFighting)

Dana White vows to make up for UFC 112 with the fans (MMAJunkie)

Brazilians Weigh in on Machida-Rua II (Tatame)

UFC Lightweight Champ, Frankie Edgar Dogged by Win (TorontoSun)

UFC 113 MMA Live Special (Sherdog)

Silva to vacate title and move to 205 if he beats Sonnen and Belfort 
(MMAJunkie)

DFW’s UFC 113 video blog #1 (YouTube/UFC)

World’s Strongest Man Wins at KSW 13 (MMAFighting)

Paul Taylor Out, Canadian Newcomer  Holst in Against Gunderson at TUF 11 Finale (MMAJunkie)

Beatles-Zombie movie in the works (ScreenJunkies)

10 Indie Awesome Comedies You Missed (MadeMan)

25 Worst Moms Ever (HolyTaco)

Model Denise Milani (Chickipedia)

Nascar Skydiver Crashes (AllLeftTurns)

British Political Hopeful Beats Up Hoodlums on the Campaign Trail (NothingToxic)

Asylum Round-Up: Naked News and Bizarre Piercings (Asylum)

Jack Nicholson Bitches Out a Ref (ScoresReport)

(Video courtesy of 8countnews.com.)

Since he lives in one of the biggest glass houses in mixed martial arts, former Toughman competitor, World Wrestling Federation guest performer, YAMMA Pitfighter and Oxblood Oxheart doppelganger Eric “Butterbean” Esch may want to think twice about tossing proverbial stones at other fighters in the sport like he has at fellow boxer-turned-mixed martial artist James Toney.

In a recent interview with 8countnews, Esch, who is promoting his Moosin: Gods of Martial Arts show May 21 in Worcester, MA calls the former IBF middleweight, super middleweight and cruiserweight champion and current NABO and IBA heavyweight champion a “circus act.” Considering that the main event of his ridiculously named show will feature 6-foot-8-inch former UFC heavyweight champion and custom chopper enthusiast Tim Sylvia versus “World’s Strongest Man” Mariusz Pudzianowski, and that Esche’s photo appears in the dictionary under the definition of “freak show,” his comments are humorously paradoxical.

("World’s Strongest Man" vs. "World’s Softest, Hairiest Stomach.")

Insulting Quote of the Day comes to us courtesy of Mariusz Pudzianowski, who just signed a contract to fight Tim Sylvia at a May 21st event in Worcester, Massachusetts, which is being put on by a shadowy Korean promoter called "Moosin":

Step by step, huh? So to clarify, on the spectrum of MMA competition it goes random Polish first-timer, 1-0 fat guy, Tim Sylvia (after a two week layoff!), and finally, a 1-4 PRIDE veteran. This is the company you’re keeping, Tim. Part of us hopes Sylvia smashes Mariusz so he can regain some measure of self-respect. In the meantime, we’d be content if he just stopped harassing Andrei Arlovski’s ex-girlfriend.

Five months after hacking through Marcin Najman in his MMA debut, five-time World’s Strongest Man winner Mariusz Pudzianowski will return to the cage at KSW 13 (May 7th, Warsaw), likely against 40-year-old Polish fighter Robert Paczków. A former Greco-Roman wrestling competitor and Sumo champion, Paczków’s only MMA fight took place at a Cage Rage event in December 2007 against TUF 10 vet James McSweeney, who was 1-0 at the time. As you can see in the video above, McSweeney was taken down and smothered by the 300+ pound Pole in short order. At the vid’s 2:10 mark, McSweeney is forced to tap to what the ring announcer calls an "arm choke," but what looked more like a reverse mooboplata from our angle. Though Pudzianowski will still enjoy a strength advantage against Paczków, it’ll be interesting to see if Paczków’s sheer girth and grappling prowess will pose problems for the 33-year-old strongman. If you can read Polish, you’ll find more info on KSW 13 right here.

After the jump: A rockin’ music video from Mariusz and his brother Krystian (aka Pudzian Band). Plus, Mariusz shows off his pad on the Polish version of MTV Cribs.

(Hey, at least he’s better than Jose Canseco.)

Polish strongman Mariusz Pudzianowski will test his power against something other than inanimate objects this Friday night, as he takes on pro boxer Marcin "El Testosteron" Najman at KSW 12 in Warsaw, Poland.  It will be the MMA debut for both men, but neither is a novice to the fight game in general.  Pudzianowski has done a little karate and some amateur boxing (though you’d never know it from the above training video) and Najman is 13-4 as a boxer.  But if he thinks Pudzianowski is just going to stand there like an immobile mass of muscle and bronzer, he better think again.  As M-Pud told Fight Magazine:

“If Najman wants to exchange punches with me I wish him luck. I won’t be as slow as an ox and I won’t let him beat me up. My mother didn’t raise me to be a bum. These hands can hurt; believe me.”

You know what really intimidates and confuses opponents?  Telling them all the things you’re not going to do.  Also, whose mother raises them to be a bum?  That’s just terrible parenting.  After the jump, now that you’ve seen Pudzianowski lumbering around the ring with boxing gloves on, check out what this Najman character can do with his fists.  The strongman might be in trouble here…