(Mess with a bull and you’ll get the horns; mess with a Diaz and you’ll get a Stockton Slap.)

By Jason Moles

It’s time once again to examine your portfolio now that UFC 135 is in the books. Take this opportunity to maximize your ROI by heeding the advice below. Keep reading to find out if you’re sitting on a gold mine or if you need to take that dog to a nice farm where he can roam. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs so lets play another game of Buy, Sell, Hold.

Jon “Bones” Jones: Buy! Buy! Buy!

Last night Jonny “Bones” Jones did what no fighter has done since 2007 — successfully defend the UFC light heavyweight championship. (I don’t care what you say, Shogun won that fight!) I know I’m supposed to tell you to “Buy low, sell high”, and Jones is at an all-time high right now. Just know that the champ’s stock is as low as it will ever be for at least the next ten or so years. Crisp, unorthodox striking combined with superb, tactical grappling contained inside a combat vessel in its prime — need I say more?

“No, your breath does not smell like doodoo. Don’t say that, Quinton”. (Photo: UFC.com)

There are some folks who believe that you’re not really a champion until you successfully defend your belt. For those of you who agree, meet Jon Jones, UFC Light Heavyweight Champion.

“Bones” did whatever he wanted from the opening bell, starting the fight crouched in a Bloodsport-inspired fighting stance (and yes, Steven Seagal is a little butthurt over that). From that moment his unorthodoxy never waned. Spinning elbows and kicks are common weapons in his arsenal, and he seemed as comfortable throwing them as ever. Jones shows no fear of what his damage his opponent might do should he miss or leave himself open, and at this point it looks like we may never find out. According to FightMetric, Rampage failed to land a single power shot to the head. We’re all eager to laud Jones as the future of his division and the man to bring stability to 205lbs, and with good reason, but dammit I still want to see him get popped in the jaw a few times before we weld that belt around his waist.

(At first I was like…)

(…but then I LOL’d. / Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more photos from this set, click here.)

Tonight’s kind of a big deal, you guys. UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones has a chance to establish his legacy by defending his belt against former champ Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. And when you look at the supporting card, you’ll notice a similar theme: Between Matt Hughes vs. Josh Koscheck, Takanori Gomi vs. Nate Diaz, and Mark Hunt vs. Ben Rothwell, UFC 135 is all about the old guard making one last stand against the scrappers who came up behind them. Do the old dogs still have some fight left, or will tonight represent a brutal changing of the guard?

Handling play-by-play for CagePotato.com once again is Matt Kaplan, who will be delivering updates on the “Jones vs. Rampage” pay-per-view main card beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Join the party after the jump, and refresh your page every few minutes for all the latest.

(Video: Zee2tehPee)

Throughout their co-appearance media blitz, Quinton Jackson and Jon Jones looked angry, annoyed, and eager to punch each other in the face. Now with their fight just around the corner, the two appear at peace, joyful, and eager to punch each other in the face. Jones opted to forgo his usual ‘staring off into the sunset‘ routine for the obvious reason. Even though Koscheck suppressed his inner smug and Nate Diaz kept the safety on his double-barrel “Hey Buddy”, more than one person left the weigh-ins with the feeling that his personal space had been violated.

Join us after the jump for a highlight of the proceedings and the full results from the scales.

(Rampage cutting the the last few ounces with Cheick Kongo.)

Just a friendly reminder that we will be showing the weigh-ins at 6:00 pm ET tonight for tomorrow night’s UFC 135 event at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado.

Will Rampage give us more GIF fodder?

Will Jon Jones continue to lose fans for being cocky?

Will Josh Koscheck be the first opponent of Matt Hughes’ that the fans root against?

Will “Big” Ben Rothwell’s nickname be changed to “Medium” Ben Rothwell?

Will Nick Diaz show up to support his brother?

These questions and more will be answered after the jump.

(Simon Cowell said they sucked. L.A. Reid said they sucked. Nicole Scherzinger said they sucked. Paula Abdul said they should keep practicing and never give up their dreams. / Props: jessektabor2)

UFC 135 goes down tomorrow night in Denver, and as always, it’s incredibly important that you hear our opinions about it. Fresh off his controversial split-decision victory over Seth Falvo, CagePotato staff writer Jared Jones returns for another head-to-head column against founding editor Ben Goldstein. Can Rampage pull off an upset? Is Matt Hughes on his way to retirement? Whose new screen-name will be more humiliating? Read on and get yourself educated…

Is there a part of you that wants to see Rampage get his belt back? How likely is that to happen?

JJ: There will always be a small part of me that wants to see Page with a belt again, if only so I never have to watch that same clip of Rampage exclaiming just how much he wants it back in every pre-fight commercial he’s been in since losing it. On the other hand, I fear for the lives of Southern California if he does win the belt and then loses it again.

As far as the likelihood of Page being the champ again, I’d say it’s better than those bookies would have you believe, but not much. Let’s face it, Rampage earned this title shot with a razor thin decision over Lyoto Machida and an unimpressive decision over a now retired Matt Hamill. Yes, he seems incredibly focused and in shape and yes, Bones’ chin has yet to be tested, but Jones is simply too quick, diverse, and smart to get caught by a straight boxer like Rampage.

BG: First off, no, I don’t want to see Rampage get his belt back. Not even a little. Dude gives me a headache sometimes. Like Nick Diaz, he’s a paranoid weirdo with a persecution complex — everybody’s cocky, everybody’s fake. Look, if you’re one of the hordes of eCritics that have emerged since Jones beat up Shogun, I’m sure you have your reasons. But to me, Jon Jones represents the latest step in MMA’s evolution, and it would feel like a regression if he were unseated by a guy who pretty much just throws hands these days.

The odds on this fight are so inflated because as loud as Rampage’s supporters can be sometimes, nobody’s actually betting money on him. Why would they? Jones has an 11.5-inch reach advantage, he’s far more athletic, and he’s unpredictable. Bones might beat up Rampage standing just to prove a point. After Saturday, we can stop calling Jones the “future of MMA.” He’ll officially be the present — a defending champion. Now what will that make Rampage?

(Full video of yesterday’s UFC on FOX: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos press conference, via YouTube.com/UFC)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- UFC 141: Brock Lesnar vs. Alistair Overeem Winner on Dec. 30 Earns Heavyweight Title Shot (MMA Mania)

- We Know You Want to Watch This Video of The Korean Zombie and Arianny Celeste on a Korean Game Show (MiddleEasy)

- Dana White: Dan Henderson Signed Exclusive UFC Contract, Unsure About Strikeforce Belt (5thRound)

- 4 Reasons Jon Jones Will Destroy Rampage Jackson at UFC 135 (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Gegard Mousasi vs. Ovince St. Preux Set for Dec. 17 Strikeforce Card (MMA Fighting)

- Exclusive UFC on FOX Press Conference Photo Gallery (LowKick)

- A Summary of Bas Rutten’s Excellent Interview With Rampage Jackson (FightOpinion)

- Will UFC 135 Be the Last Fight for Matt Hughes? (NBC Sports MMA)

- Diaz Reportedly Losing Seven Figures Due to UFC 137 Re-Booking (MMA Payout)

- Worst MMA Foul Ever – Takeo Shiina Shows Floyd Mayweather How It’s Done (TheFightNerd)

- Kenny Florian: “I Think I Do Everything Well” (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Greatest TUF Contributions of All Time (MMA Convert)

(The old dude at the top who hasn’t figured out the fist pose just wandered out from the sauna and got in the photo. Thankfully, he put his clothes on before he did. -photo courtesy of Matt-Hughes.com)

Matt Hughes has apparently gone back to his roots training with longtime coach Pat Miletich for his upcoming UFC 135 bout with Josh Koscheck.

The former UFC welterweight champ, whose three-fight winning streak was snapped by a knockout at the hands of BJ Penn in his last fight also flew “The Prodigy” into Hillsboro, Illinois to help him get ready for the fight, which speaks to how seriously he’s taking his training.

Check out an excerpt from the blog after the jump.

(…and THAT’S what the Kos has cookin’.”

When Josh Koscheck mentioned back in July that he was interested in taking at least one fight at 185, speculation ran rampant about who the American Kickboxing Academy fighter wanted to face. We reported that there were early discussions with the UFC and Chris Leben’s camp for the two The Ultimate Fighter nemeses to square off at UFC 138 in San Jose, but the fight never materialized for various reasons and now Koscheck is slated to face former UFC welterweight champ Matt Hughes at UFC 135 on September 24 as a last-minute replacement for Diego Sanchez.

According to Kos, he asked for either Leben, Rich Franklin or Wanderlei Silva for his first bout back since losing to Georges St-Pierre at UFC 124. A broken orbital bone he suffered in the opening minutes of the bout required surgery and left him sidelined for the better part of the past year. The reason for the jump back up to middleweight — the class he competed in on The Ultimate Fighter — he says was because anyone of relevance in his own weight class was already tied up.

(“I’ve always wanted your autograph.” Alistair Overeem signs his new UFC contract in Lorenzo Fertitta’s office. Props: bawzzzz)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Alistair Overeem Was Offered Immediate Title Shot Before Accepting Brock Lesnar Fight (MMA Fighting)

- UFC 135: Matt Hughes vs Josh Koscheck official for Sept. 24 in Denver (MMA Mania)

- Top 10 Worked Shoot-Fights in Japanese Pro Wrestling (TheFightNerd)

- MMA Comedy Gold: Interviewer ‘Skippy’ (AKA Ed Bassmaster) Discusses UFC 133 Experience, Shouts Out CagePotato (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- American Top Team Offering a Year of All-Expenses-Paid Training for Middleweights and Above (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto Meets Octagon Newbie Darren Uyenoyama at UFC on FOX 1 (5thRound)

- WWE Network coming in 2012 (MMA Payout)

- Dan Henderson Wants Jones vs. Rampage Winner, Says Rashad Evans Can Wait (LowKick)

- Your Cubicle Desperately Needs a Foot-Tall ‘MMA Alien’ Collectible (MiddleEasy)

- Lorenzo Fertitta on UFC Fighter Salaries: “All These Keyboard Warriors Have no Idea What They’re Talking About” (FightOpinion)

- Book Review: Stitch Duran’s ‘From the Fields to the Garden’ (MMA Convert)

- Ariel Helwani’s Official MMA Rankings (NBC Sports MMA)

According to former UFC welterweight champion Matt Hughes he has accepted the challenge of Josh Koscheck to face him in the place of his original UFC 135 opponent Diego Sanchez, who pulled out of the bout due to a broken hand. The only problem is, the UFC brass haven’t decided whether they want to see “Country Breakfast” possibly have his lights and his career turned out by Kos or have Bob Arum telling Dana, “I told you so!” until the day he dies (some time soon by the looks of it) thanks to a potential 15-minute wrestlefuck session with Jon Fitch.

Either way, Hughes is fighting on September 24, so at least there’s that.

(Listen to the first thing that Diego says in this video. Is it just me, or is the dude starting to sound like Kevin from ‘The Office’?)

Less than three weeks before his scheduled meeting with Matt Hughes at UFC 135: Jones vs. Rampage (September 24th, Denver), Diego Sanchez was pulled from the event yesterday due to a broken hand suffered in training. Coming off back-to-back decision victories over Paulo Thiago and Martin Kampmann — both of which netted him Fight of the Night awards — Sanchez released a statement explaining just how bummed he is:

“I am heartbroken that I have to inform MMA fans that I cannot fight Matt Hughes at UFC 135 later this month. I have never physically felt more prepared to compete than I felt for this fight, which makes this even more painful for me. While I do not know right now when I will return, I want to assure all of the fans out there that I will be back in the Octagon as soon as I am 100-percent healthy.”

But in the distance, a savior appears…

In: “I WANT MY BELT BACK!” Out: “There’s gone be some black on black crime.” VidProps: UFC/YouTube

Check this out: official UFC propaganda would have us believe that Rampage Jackson is actually out there somewhere working. They even have the nerve to pause on a calendar square labeled “JIU JITSU”, when we all know damn well that ‘Page would pull guard right after he lets someone hold an umbrella for him.

On the other hand, we’re pretty sure we’ve found the guy shooting footage of Jackson and passing it on to Jones.

Bones v Rampage goes down in just 22 days, and there’s plenty of action to keep you occupied until then.

The full UFC 135 card is after the jump.

We’re just going to leave this photo of Matt Hughes and BJ Penn going on a little lunch date today right here.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMAHeat)

Not sure how we missed this video when it went up last week, but our homegirl Karyn Bryant from MMA H.E.A.T. caught up with Diego Sanchez and talked to the eccentric UFC welterweight about a variety of topics including his upcoming UFC 135 fight with Matt Hughes in September and his return to Team Jackson.

FYI, Sanchez recently turned down our request for another interview because our logo is “the damn devil sign,” but that’s fine since Karyn always seems to ask the questions we want to have answered.

Your loss, Diego, you know what I mean?

A few highlights after the jump:

(Bruce Buffer and Wanderlei Silva)

One of our favorite online obsessions over the last month has been awesome people hanging out together, a tumblr photo blog devoted to celebrities mingling in unexpected combinations. (I mean, seriously: Dylan and Ali? Alice Cooper and Colonel Sanders? Epic.) Since there are aren’t any MMA fighters represented on the site, we decided to do some online crate-digging of our own and put together a CagePotato version of the “awesome people” photo-phenomenon. Enjoy these rare and classic MMA photos, which continue after the jump, and shoot us some links in the comments section if we’ve left out any of your favorites.

(Royce Gracie and Mirko Cro Cop)

(Matt Serra, Frankie Edgar, Jerry Springer, and Kimbo Slice. See also: Fighters and Random-Ass Celebrities)

If you missed the video this weekend, former UFC welterweight champ Matt Hughes let fly with a bold prediction during the Q&A session he did prior to the UFC 132 weigh-ins Friday. Besides saying that he thinks longtime nemesis Georges St-Pierre will beat Nick Diaz in October, Hughes stated matter-of-factly that he feels that the French Canadian will also take out Anderson Silva if and when the pair eventually meet.

“Against Diaz, I think he’s gonna do real good. This will be the first time that he’s gonna be facing somebody that will be in better shape than he is. Diaz is in great shape and that will be the only thing I think Diaz is gonna have an edge on is the shape. But GSP is not gonna wear out. I think Striking, submissions and ground work, he’s gonna win every one of them,” Hughes said. “I think the only thing, Diaz is so different with his striking. Maybe he’s gonna land something like he did against Robbie Lawler that one time that’s gonna kinda come out of left field, but I see GSP winning. To take that a step further, I think if he fights Anderson Silva, if GSP has his head screwed on straight, I see him winning that fight as well.”

“…and those are the seven key differences between Durum Wheat and Hard White Wheat. Next question, please.”

The UFC continued their always entertaining series of Fighter Q&A sessions last night with Matt Hughes joining announcer Mike Goldberg on stage. As usual, Hughes shoots from the hip and shares his thoughts on everything from GSP’s standing in the sport to the recent testosterone replacement controversy, but one thing he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about is tonight’s fights. The reason? He really hasn’t seen many of the guys compete.

If you’re interested in catching the hour-long video, check it out here. If you learned nothing from your high school reliance on Cliffs Notes and want to continue eeking by on second-hand information, join us after the jump for a recap of the highlights.

(Back when Ken was making more than GSP…)

The TUF 11 Finale went down 1 year ago.

Why it matters:

Five of the fighters from the show are still active in the UFC and four are undefeated in the Octagon.

TUF winner Court McGee, who defeated Kris McCray in the finale by rear naked choke also beat Ryan Jensen by arm triangle at UFC 121 in October. He’s set to face Don Yi Yang at UFN “Battle at the Bayou” in September.

Kyle Noke, who was beaten by teammate McCray by unanimous decision in the quarterfinals of the show, defeated Josh Bryant by TKO at the finale and rattled off two rear naked choke submission wins against Rob Kimmons at UFC 122 in November and TUF 11 cast mate Chris Camozzi at UFC 127 at home in Australia in February. He’ll face Tom Lawlor next at UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle in August.

Brad Tavares, who lost to McGee in the semi-finals by rear naked choke is undefeated in official competition as well as 2-0 in the Octagon.He defeated TUF 11 quarterfinal opponent Seth Baczynski at the finale by unanimous decision and Phil Baroni by knockout at UFC 125 in January.

(I know, right? Whaddya gonna do.)

Just an update on that business about Matt Hughes shoving some dude into a woman’s nose at an Illinois bar last month. According to a TMZ report published yesterday, Hughes will not be charged with a crime related to the incident:

TMZ spoke with the Illinois State’s Attorney … who told us there was not enough evidence to prove the fighter committed a battery when he allegedly shoved another man into a female bystander at the Trails End Bar and Grill in Taylor Springs, IL.

In other words, Matt Hughes and War Machine won’t be sharing a cell any time soon. But my God, that would make for an amazing sitcom…

(“Come on, Georges. If you keep this up I’m going to rescind my offer to join me for a country breakfast.”)

Matt Hughes is not impressed by GSP’s performance in his last fight.

Now, before you jump to conclusions and say that Matt is only saying that Georges stunk the joint up in his UFC 129 fight against Jake Shields at Rogers Centre because he’s still sore that “Rush” laid a beating on him in their last two bouts, Hughes did say that he likes St-Pierre just fine.

Check out what the former UFC welterweight champ had to say in a recent blog post he wrote about the Shields-St-Pierre bout after the jump.

(Just bring the man his honey-mustard wings and nobody gets hurt.)

TMZ digs the dirt:

UFC Hall-of-Famer Matt Hughes is at the center of a police investigation … after a female bystander told cops she suffered a broken nose when the fighter went off on another man inside an Illinois bar.

TMZ has confirmed 37-year-old Hughes was named in a police report filed in Taylor Springs, IL … stemming from an April 23 incident at a place called Trails End Bar and Grill.

According to a source who was inside the bar, Hughes got into an argument with a male bar patron … which led to some forceful shoving.

(Our thoughts exactly, Diego.)

This would appear to put to rest not only Royce Gracie’s aspirations to rematch Matt Hughes at UFC: Rio, but also an immediate bout for Diego Sanchez against any of the numerous dudes he’s been beefing with on Twitter: The horse’s mouth itself – UFC.com – confirmed on Thursday that Hughes and Sanchez will face-off at an event to be named later, likely in the fall. So that’s weird.

We might’ve thought Sanchez deserved better, after squeaking by Martin Kampmann via relentless disregard for his own face at the latest UFC on Versus show. Meanwhile, Hughes – who is 37 – has recently grumbled about retirement and appeared to indicate he’d only like to fight fellow old guys who he might actually be able to beat from here on out. This appears to be an odd little piece of matchmaking for both guys.

For a man who tries to promote such a chaste image, Matt Hughes sure does find himself at Hooters a hell of a lot. Maybe it’s the famous wings that bring him in night after night. Or maybe it’s all the young chicks with big titties. Hard to say for sure. For more photographic proof, start after the jump and follow the “next page” links.

(The question is, which weight class will Royce fight under?)

CagePotato.com received word over the weekend from a source close to the situation that Royce Gracie has cancelled the European leg of his spring seminar tour and that the official reason given to the group organizing his UK appearances (NJM promotions) is that the UFC Hall-of-Famer has accepted an offer from the promotion to fight on its August 27 card in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

According to NJM, Gracie’s manager, Mike Kogan revealed the news to them, which was relayed to the seminar host gyms in an effort to explain why the 44-year-old UFC 1, 2 and 4 tournament winner would not be able to make his scheduled appearances in England.

BJ Penn Brings in Matt Hughes to Train for Jon Fitch – Watch more Funny Videos

It looks like Matt Hughes and BJ Penn have been trolling us all along by making everyone think they can’t stand each other.

“The Prodigy” has brought in “Country Breakfast” to help him train for his upcoming UFC 127 fight with Jon Fitch, and according to Hughes, despite the fact that they have both beaten the shit out of each other and have slung a shit ton of verbal jabs over the years, there’s no hard feelings between them.

“I’ve been in the sport a long time — a lot longer than some other guys in the UFC. We respect each other and we’ve never really not got along and never had a falling out of any type. We’re competitors, so when we had a fight coming up, we always came in with the attitude that we were gonna beat the other one,” Hughes told Hawaii’s KHON2 news. “We fought, I think a week before Thanksgiving or something and he beat me pretty good…pretty quick. That was a match and he’s got his next fight and I’m tryin’ to help him out.”

(This guy knows what I’m talking about.)

The first week of 2011 is coming to an end, and it seems like a good time to give away a few t-shirts. Fun fact: This is the third "Comments of the Week" post that we’ve published in the last three months. It almost seems like we should change the name to something…I don’t know…more fitting somehow. If you have any suggestions, we’d love to hear ‘em, because we’re absolutely stumped.

Anyway, three commenters stood out from the pack this week, setting a standard for the new year that ALL of you should be living up to. If your name is called, please send your real name, address, and shirt-size to contest@cagepotato.com and we’ll hook you up…

(Quit playing it so safe, Frenchy. PicProps: SBNation)

Uh-oh! We ain’t saying no names, but it looks like at least one aging UFC superstar might be a little bit jealous about Chuck Liddell’s new “job” as the UFC’s Executive Vice President of Business Development. We’ll give you a hint … let’s see here … it’s a guy who … ah fuck it, it’s Matt Hughes. Yeah, we were conducting our bi-monthly spin by Hughes’ blog this week to make sure we filled our quota for smug, semi-coherent unchristian Christian blather when we stumbled upon this gem. Country Breakfast’s latest entry, headlined simply “Chuck’s Retirement,” is so textbook Hughes that it makes you wonder if the former welterweight champ is really even still writing these things himself or if it’s just some computerized algorithm that will continue to publish blogs in Hughes’ name long after the human race has faced the wrath of his vengeful God.

In this case, the algorithm is something like: Act like a dick, act like a dick, holiday snapshot of the kid, Bible verse, end. It’s interesting to note here that in this entry ostensibly about Chuck’s retirement, Hughes spends just a couple short paragraphs on Liddell before segueing straight into an out-of-the-blue indictment of Georges St. Pierre’s “boring” performance against Josh Koscheck at UFC 124. Shit. Now, that’s just sour grapes, plain and simple. First the Liddell stuff …

(Well, it could be worse, I guess; my kid could be a Brock fan.")

Well, it looks like Matt Hughes may be taking his KO loss to BJ Penn at UFC 123 a bit harder than we thought.

The former UFC welterweight champ wrote on his blog this week that the outcome of the fight has him more closely considering retirement.

Here what Hughes’ thoughts are on the situation:

"A lot of people have been asking about the fight and how I am doing. Of course, the fight didn’t go like I had planned it. I knew BJ was going to be in shape, but I didn’t know he was going to come in with a game plan and really look for my tendencies. I think BJ knew I was going to come in throwing my jab and I think he had a game plan for that," Hughes explains. "He hit me with a hard right hand that I never saw coming. It’s funny how styles make fights and I’m not at all like Frankie Edgar. So it just kind of stinks that BJ came off two losses and then ended up beating me in less than 30 seconds. I knew BJ was going to be tough that first round. I was trying to get him into the second and the third round where I could wear on him, slow him down and soften him up a little bit; but it just didn’t go that way."

(Rampage really needs to get some sun.)

Fair warning: If you’re epileptic, you may not want to make the jump to check out the gifs of the best of action of Saturday’s UFC 123 show.