Matt Serra

(Photo courtesy of round5mma.com.)

Colorful Long Island resident Matt "The Terror" Serra — who has competed at a blistering pace of one fight per year since 2005 — may have already booked his 2010 UFC appearance. According to MMA Fanhouse, Serra has verbally agreed to a bout in Las Vegas on February 6th. Though Serra wouldn't confirm who his opponent will be, Fanhouse says Frank Trigg is a strong possibility. Which makes sense, since they're both in their mid-30s and coming off losses and not really factors in the division anymore. The loser of that fight would probably be retired by Joe Rogan in the post-fight interview, while the winner would pretty much have to take a rematch with Matt Hughes, considering that Hughes doesn't have any better ideas.

(Props: Round5MMA.com)

Images of Round 5's fourth series of MMA figurines have been released, and my God, would you check out the moose knuckle on Mauricio Rua. You gotta respect the attention to detail, but this might be the work of a vindictive figurine artist/Chuck Liddell fan who got pissed off after UFC 97 and thought, okay hot shot, now I'm going to make you look like a woman. Meanwhile, Gina Carano is wearing long, loose-fitting shorts. So I guess they didn't use my concept art after all...

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

There’s nothing like a title changing hands, a hatchet being buried, and an upset or two to give the arbitrary numerical rankings system of the Potato Index something to talk about.  Let’s see who’s up and who’s down after UFC 98.

Lyoto Machida +316
He came into this fight as the favorite to win a boring decision.  Less than ten minutes later people were talking about The Machida Era as if it were the Ming Dynasty and lamenting the fate of whatever poor bastard had to face him next.  He proved you can be an elusive, complicated martial artist and still kick serious ass.  Dawning of a new age in MMA, or just a beautiful anomaly?

Rashad Evans -127
Becomes another 205-pound champ to lose his first title defense, and barely lands a punch in the process.  Keeping your back against the cage and trying to counter those whirlwind attacks can probably be ruled out as the strategy to beat Machida, but Evans had to try something.  Back to the middle of the pack.

(Just after this photo was taken, Rashad respectfully grabbed his nuts and blew Lyoto a kiss. Props to Combat Lifestyle.)

It got Koscheck. It got Okami. It got Alexander and Irvin and Wilson. But by God, the UFC 98 curse will not rob us of seeing Sean Sherk and Frankie Edgar fight to an inevitable decision, or Dan Miller submit Chael Sonnen in the first round, or Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida counter-counter-punch for the light-heavyweight title -- unless the arena collapses within the next few minutes, which is always a possibility. Live round-by-round updates from tonight's pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page regularly to see all the latest. Let's get ready to EVAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!

('I come only to drink my own urine and win decisions. And I am all out of urine for at least the next hour.')

It's....time!  Here we go again, arguing over UFC 98's most compelling, pre-packaged storylines and making oblique reference to awesome internet videos we've wasted our time watching lately.  Just so you know what you're in for.  And so it begins...

When Mike Tyson spoke of impetuous style and impregnable defense, he might as well have been describing Lyoto Machida. How can Rashad Evans beat him on Saturday?

BG: According to Jackson camp trainer Mike Winklejohn, Evans’s gameplan will involve countering Machida’s counters. But come on — do you really think Machida hasn’t been working on countering counters to his counters? (Don’t read that sentence while standing between two mirrors or your head will explode.) To be honest, we don’t know what works against Machida. We know what results in utter failure, and that’s trying to strike with him; if Evans is seriously planning on beating Machida in a point-karate match, he’s fucked.

Because of his elusiveness and competent takedown defense, Lyoto Machida hasn’t spent much time on his back during his career. But don’t forget, Evans is a fearsome wrestler. And as much as I hate watching this strategy in action, a boring lay-n-pray decision is Rashad’s best shot at keeping his belt. He just needs to borrow Clay Guida’s “Energizer Blanket” approach — shoot and get stuffed, shoot and get stuffed, shoot and score the takedown, lay on top until Machida escapes or the ref orders a stand-up, repeat as necessary, and win an unsatisfying decision without inflicting any real damage. Yes, it would be ugly, and the fans would be livid. I’d much rather see Machida ghost-ride Evans’s ass with punches and foot-sweeps until Sugar has a nervous breakdown on the stool between the fourth and fifth rounds. But hell, you asked for an answer and I gave you one.

BF: Impregnable defense, I’ll give that much to Machida.  But ‘impetuous’ in this sense means marked by an impatient, impulsive force or violence.  Does that sound like Machida to you?  He's more like impregnable defense and indifferent style.  Whether he finishes you or not is of little consequence to him.  The guy can wait all night for a victory, and he has.  But on to the question at hand.