(And to think that all “Bigfoot” did was ask Arianny for a hug. Image courtesy of Fightcove.) 

UFC 146′s all-heavyweight lineup promised to deliver the violence, and sweet baby Jesus did it ever. We were treated to five finishes in five fights on the main card alone, including what was initially labeled as a broken arm on Lavar Johnson’s part, as well as the above mutilation of Antonio Silva, which more closely resembles a scene from Saw movie (specifically, the pig soup sequence from the third installment) than anything else. But perhaps the most surprising of suspensions to come as a result of Saturday’s action were that of Cain Velasquez and Jamie Varner, whom, despite earning quick and violent finishes against Silva and Edson Barboza, respectively, could be looking at up to six months out of action pending x-rays of their hands. That’s some shit luck for Velasquez, who Dana White pegged as the probable number one contender (in Ubereem’s absence, of course) following his victory.

Though it appears that “Big” Johnson’s arm was not actually broken in the first round of his PPV lead-off scrap with Stefan Struve, he will need to have his elbow cleared by an orthopedist before he can return to action, and is looking at a minimum suspension of just over a month regardless.

Check out the full list of suspensions after the jump. 

(Was this photo taken with a fish eye lens? Get it?! A FISH EYE LENS!! *crickets*) 

Yowza. As if we needed further proof, Rashad Evans sent out this tweet earlier today, confirming once and for all that Jon Jones does is fact have the nastiest elbows in the game. At least he took it in stride, stating the following:

I went 2 UFC 145 in Atlanta and I had the best seat in the house & all I came back with was this fat eye! Wth! I hope those of u that went came back with better souvenirs than I did! =)

Brandon Vera feels your pain, Suga. And then some.

Though Evans only received a week suspension, he might want to consider sitting out a little longer while he waits for that baby to deflate. ‘Shad was one of fourteen fighters from Saturday’s card to earn just a seven day suspension for cautionary reasons. Brendan Schaub and Che Mills received 45 day suspensions for their (T)KO losses, where Miguel Torres earned a 60 day suspension for his knockout loss to Michael McDonald. Torres must also undergo a CT scan before he is cleared to return to action.

But worse than Schaub, worse even than Torres, was the indefinite suspension Mac Danzig received for the gnarly ankle injury he suffered in his unanimous decision victory over Efrain Escudero as a result of a first round heel hook. Word has it that while this was occurring, Rousimar Palhares went on a bloodthirsty rampage through Brazil that resulted in the deaths of no less than 400 people.

Check out the photo of the damage, compliments of Danzig’s twitter, along with the full medical suspensions, after the jump. 

(Nick Diaz was right! If you listen close enough, you can hear the ocean!)

Last weekend’s Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey event gave us plenty to talk about, a rare feature of a Strikeforce card these days. Ronda Rousey officially became the most successful one trick pony of all time, Ronaldo Souza showed us that he is ever improving in the stand up department, and the Strikeforce matchmakers let Nazi pedophiles worldwide know that they could still earn a shot in the big time through hard work, *cough* rape *cough*, and dedication to your craft.

Nowadays, we all know that cash rules everything around us, so let’s first talk about the recently released salaries from this weekend’s “Tate vs. Rousey” card, as they are surprisingly generous for most parties involved. It’s good to know that all of Frank Shamrock’s hard work has paved the way for this new generation of fighters. Per usual, this list does not include any undisclosed/locker room bonuses or any of that noise.

Ronda Rousey: $32,000 (includes $17,000 win bonus)
Miesha Tate: $19,000

Josh Thomson: $80,000 (no win bonus)
K.J. Noons: $38,000

Kazuo Misaki: $50,000 (no win bonus)
Paul Daley: $45,000

Lumumba Sayers: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Scott Smith: $65,000

Ronaldo Souza: $92,000 (includes $22,000 win bonus)
Bristol Marunde: $10,000

Sarah Kaufman: $25,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
Alexis Davis: $4,000

Roger Bowling: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Brandon Saling: $5,000

Pat Healy: $22,500 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Caros Fodor: $12,000

Ryan Couture: $10,000 (no win bonus)
Conor Heun: $8,000

Join us after the jump for our thoughts on the payout, along with a look at the medical suspensions from the event. 

(I bet if that cameraman had been The Undertaker, Lesnar would have just let him do his job. Video props via MiddleEasy.)

OK, so maybe the above video was taken in the aftermath of Brock Lesnar’s first round TKO loss to Alistair Overeem, but we imagine he had a similar reaction when informed by the Nevada State Athletic Commission that he must have an abdominal injury cleared by a doctor before he can compete in any physical activity for the next 6 months. Remember, given his recent retirement, the “physical activity” that Lesnar would be limited from would be his two favorite things, illegally tag-and-bagging mule deer and “getting on top of his wife.” Livestrong, Mr. Lesnar. BTW, that was kind of a dick move, shoving a poor cameraman like that. Way to go out with class.

But Lesnar was not the only fighter who walked out of UFC 141 facing a possible 6 month suspension. Nate Diaz, who, after out landing Donald Cerrone by over 150 strikes, somehow faces a longer suspension than that of “The Cowboy” — Diaz must have his right eye cleared by an ophthalmologist or will also be out of action until June 28th.

Join us after the jump for the full list. 

(Take it easy, Rashad. You don’t want to break this puppy, do you?) 

The medical suspensions list for UFC 135 was just released yesterday and included a couple surprising entries of note, mainly that of Jon Jones. The defending champ, who seemed to walk away from the match unscathed, was suspended 180 days, with the chance of physician clearance after 45 days. It makes you wonder whether the doctor’s found something significant enough to give Jones such a lengthy recovery time, or if it was simply a precautionary measure. Rampage Jackson, on the other hand, was suspended 60 days with no contact for 45.

Additionally off-putting was the suspension of James Te Huna, who was given a six month waiting period (or one month with a doctor’s clearance) following his quick knockout victory of Ricardo Romero, who was suspended for 60 days with no contact for 45. It also appears that Aaron Riley wasn’t fooling about his broken jaw, as he is out for 3 months minimum to heal that sucker up. Check out the full suspension list after the jump.

-Danga 

(Ryan Bader, mid-"Woo!" Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s list of medical suspensions issued after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 8 finale, newly-minted light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader may not be immediately ready to begin his post-TUF career in the UFC due to a possible injury to his right hand. Bader must get the hand x-rayed and cleared by a doctor; without an official go-ahead, he’ll be out of action until June 9th.

Kevin Burns — who should just be happy to still be breathing after being knocked half-dead by a vicious Anthony Johnson head-kick — has to serve a mandatory suspension until February 9th with no contact until January 25th for possible left-orbital and left-ankle fractures. If his injuries aren’t cleared by a doctor, he could also be out until June 9th. Six other fighters from the event also took home medical suspensions — details are after the jump.

(When Jon Fitch says he’s going to wear your ass like a hat, it’s not a threat — it’s a guarantee.)

According to a report on MMA Mania, Jon Fitch will begin his road back to title contention with a fight against Akihiro Gono at UFC 94 (January 31st, Las Vegas). Fitch, who most recently dropped a unanimous decision to welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre at UFC 87 in August, was previously scheduled to face Gono in March, but a hand injury forced “The Japanese Sensation” to drop out of the match; Gono went on to lose a decision to Dan Hardy at last month’s UFC 89. The UFC’s Super Bowl weekend card will be headlined by Fitch’s old nemesis GSP facing BJ Penn, as well as Lyoto Machida vs. Thiago Silva.

In other UFC news…

— Apparently back-to-back losses were enough to get Marcus Aurelio‘s contract shredded. Five Ounces of Pain reports that the American Top Team fighter has been let go following unanimous decision defeats at the hands of Tyson Griffin (at UFC 86) and Hermes Franca (at UFC 90). Though Aurelio has had an impressive career and holds victories over Takanori Gomi, Masakazu Imanari, and Rich Clementi, he leaves the Octagon with a 2-3 UFC record.

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Some fun facts coming out of Minneapolis…

According to Dana White, the Target Center hosted 15,082 spectators for UFC 87, and banked a live gate total of $2,252,000, breaking the venue’s former record gate ($2,062,000) set by a Billy Joel/Elton John concert in 2001. It was the first UFC event held in Minnesota, and White hinted that the UFC could return to the Land of 10,000 Lakes in the future.

As for medical suspensions, the fighters of “Seek and Destroy” got off easily, with just four participants picking up 30-day time-outs. They are: Georges St. Pierre (cuts), Jon Fitch (cuts), Ryan Thomas (cuts), and Dan Evensen (precautionary due to KO). Strangely, the also-knocked-out Manvel Gamburyan and the whaled-on Heath Herring managed to escape the suspensions. Minnesota seems to have a “rub some dirt on it” attitude when it comes to fighter injuries, and that’s cool with us. Unfortunately, they also have a “none of your goddamned business” attitude when it comes to fighter payouts — apparently, UFC salaries will not be released in Minnesota as part of the state’s freedom of information legislation.

When there’s an MMA event, medical suspensions are sure to follow. The Florida State Boxing Commission has dropped their list of suspended fighters from the EliteXC: Street Certified joint that happened in Miami last Saturday. (Props MMA on Tap)

Tank Abbott got a 60 day medical suspension because he got KTFO by Kimbo. Joining Tank on the 60-day list were James Thompson, Kyle Noke, John Doyle, and Edson Berto. Mario Rinaldi wasn’t KO’d but got the shit kicked out of him by Dave Herman, so he also earned 60 days on hold. On that note, Dave Herman and Jirka Hivati – who made $500 for the night – were told they must be cleared by a doctor before being allowed back in the cage. Herman due to a knee injury and Hivati because of a laceration on his face.

Let’s talk more suspensions, shall we? The California State Athletic Commission has fined and suspended two fighters for dancing with mary jane. The fighters – Mike Moreno and Jermaine Wilson – both fought last Saturday at the Total Combat 26 show that went down in San Diego. Mike Moreno will be out of action until May 16th and was fined $500 (maybe he can get Jirka Hivati to cover his fine). Jermaine Wilson is out until August 14th and was fined $1,000. Wilson’s penalty was a bit stiffer because it was his second marijuana offense in three months – his pro record is two fights, two lossess, and two suspensions due to drug use. That’s rollin’ Kendall Grove style.

Only four out of the fourteen fighters at the event were tested and half tested positive for drugs. And both fighters lost via submissions, so what does that tell you, Kids? If you’re going to toke it up, improve your takedown defense.

On a side note, Total Combat’s ring girls are called the Combat Dolls. They deserve close inspection…trust me.

As you may have already heard/seen, Sean Salmon found himself on the wrong end of a brutal flying-knee knockout at last week’s Strikeforce middleweight tournament. Though he denied reports that he had a seizure in the ring, Salmon was given a 45-day medical suspension after the fight, making him ineligible for a scheduled match against Jason “Mayhem” Miller at the HDNet Fights “Reckless Abandon” (!) event on December 15.

Taking Salmon’s place is Tim Kennedy, a member of the IFL’s Chicago Red Bears who previously defeated Miller at an Extreme Challenge event in 2003. Kennedy is scheduled to fight in the IFL World Grand Prix only two weeks later, so let’s hope he isn’t slapped with a medical suspension himself.

The “Reckless Abandon” card also features Frank Trigg vs. Edwin Dewees, Yves Edwards vs. Alonzo Martinez, and Pete Spratt vs. Tristan Yunker. Our best wishes go out to Sean Salmon, who should really learn how to protect his head…