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Tag: Michael Bisping

FYI: Michael Bisping Has a Blog, Because He Can Only Be So Much of an Asshole in Person Each Day

Dan Henderson Michael Bisping UFC 100
(This will become relevant by the end of the article. Until then, let’s just bask in its glory.) 

We’re not sure if we’ve conveyed our feelings regarding middleweight contender Michael Bisping in such articles as “Michael Bisping Asshole Quote of the Day” or the sarcastically-titled “Michael Bisping, Most Understood Fighter in the UFC,” but suffice it to say, we aren’t too high on “The Count.” If you’re someone who appreciates a humble fighter who puts on entertaining fights each and every time they step into the octagon, chances are you aren’t too high on him either.

I can honestly say that I haven’t been outright entertained by a Bisping fight since he fought Wanderlei back at UFC 110, so perhaps he is the correct source to consult when determining whether a fight was boring or not. Luckily for us, Michael could only fit so much dickishness into his schedule each day, so he went and started a blog to make sure we could all be privy to this exact kind of information. In his most recent post, he took aim at Tim Boetsch and Alan Belcher, two fellow middleweights who came up short in somewhat disastrous performances at UFC 155.

We’ve collected all the best snippets, along with our running commentary in bold, after the jump. So join us as we honor (that’s code for “Spill Haterade on”) the nastiest hater since Silky Johnson, won’t you?

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[VIDEO] Vitor Belfort Seduces All the Women Via Song in New ‘UFC on FX 7′ Trailer

In light of recent events, it perhaps makes sense that the UFC would pull out all the stops to stir up some interest in the ever-elusive female demographic. That being said, the idea of having Vitor Belfort seduce our girlfriends/wives right out from underneath us, while clever, could have the opposite effect on the male demographic that basically built the sport from the ground up.

Regardless, the new trailer for UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping – which goes down on January 19th in Sao Paulo, Brazil – forgoes the typical knockout-heavy highlight reels in favor of Belfort, a flamenco guitar, and a voice that will turn your woman’s pantalones into the Typhoon Lagoon at DisneyWorld. We’ll give them props for originality, but at the same time, they better deliver Ronda Rousey on a stripper pole when the UFC 157 promos start rolling out or there are going to be some serious problems.

We hear they shot a similar promo featuring Michael Bisping going apeshit on a turntable while “Ooonts! Ooonts! Ooonts!” blared in the background, but it was later scrapped for being — as the head of the UFC’s marketing department put it — “Way too Goddamned douchey.”

-J. Jones

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Dana White Says Bisping Will ‘Probably’ Get Title Shot Against Anderson Silva With Win Over Belfort


(We’re not trying to say that Bisping is looking past Vitor Belfort, but…yes, Bisping is literally looking past Vitor Belfort. / Photo via @vitorbelfort)

The UFC has always seemed to favor British star Michael Bisping, so it came as a surprise when Dana White announced to media on Saturday that “The Count” would “probably” receive a middleweight title shot should he beat Vitor Belfort next month in Brazil. I mean, why would Dana give the poor, defenseless Brit a virtual death sentence in a fight with Anderson Silva?

Oh, that’s right — Bisping has, in the verbiage of much of the media, “been campaigning for years” for a shot at the middleweight title. Of course, Bisping’s arguments have been more verbal than physical lately, as his current win streak stands at 1. (Still, that’s one more than Nick Diaz and Chael Sonnen can boast; if anything, Bisping is over-qualified to fight for the belt.) In related news, it was announced that Chris Weidman will now have to begin fighting and beating two opponents at once from now on to earn consideration for a shot at the middleweight title.

Anyway, this is just one of those “news” items that exists primarily to anger us, more than anything else. Bisping could very likely be creamed by Belfort at UFC on FX 7. Or, maybe Dana’s vague promise of a resulting title shot is just something he likes to say to make a fight seem more important.

After the jump: A video highlight of Michael Bisping getting knocked out by Dan Henderson. Yes, it really is a highlight video of that one punch over and over, along with arrogant promises from Bisping that belied his lack of self-awareness, and brief moments of him having difficulty opening a door. And before you accuse us of posting this just to bash the Count, well, we are, but only because he’s a bullyingcheatingrace-baiting dick who is prejudiced against the short. That’s all.

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Friday Link Dump: Last Day of Movember (!), Every UFC Champion Ranked, Jose Aldo Plans His Retirement + More


How To Always Win In A Fight – Watch More Funny Videos
(Paul “Boom!” Vunak vs. Bas “Bang!” Rutten, held under Filipino Alley Fight rules: Who takes it and how? / Props: Break.com)

- Today’s Your Last Day to Donate to the “Mo’Tato Nation” Movember Team! Do It! (Movember.us)

- Power Ranking Every UFC Champion in History (BleacherReport)

- Michael Bisping Readies for Vitor Belfort, Aims to Avoid Dubious Distinction (MMAFighting)

- José Aldo Announces His MMA Retirement Age, Next Step Already Figured Out (Fightline)

- “Dat Ass!” Alert: MMA Ring Girl Shannon Ihrke Shows Off the Goods (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- UFC on Fox 5 Fighter Jeremy Stephens Jury Trial Scheduled for January 9, 2013 (BloodyElbow)

- Dana White To Fighters: Tone Down Training Ahead Of UFC on FOX 5 (FightDay)

Support Movember, Eat an Onion (MadeMan)

The Worst Thing Ever (HolyTaco)

- Five Easy Steps to Becoming a Successful Cult Leader (EgoTV)

- The 50 Dirtiest Moments in Cartoon History (WorldWideInterweb)

Answers From a Hot Girl: Can I Encourage My Girlfriend to Lose Weight? (MensFitness)

The 100 Biggest Twitter Fails of All Time (Complex)

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Correction: Anderson Silva *Won’t* Be Bum-Rushing Georges St. Pierre at UFC 154, Doesn’t Plan on Fighting Again Until Late 2013


(Why must you torture us, fan-made poster?? Image via MMehFighter)

Man, this week is just full of disappointments. First, we learn that Ronda Rousey‘s historic migration to the UFC isn’t quite official yet. And now we learn that this Saturday’s UFC 154 event in Montreal won’t include a WWE-style post-fight run-in from middleweight champion Anderson Silva.

As the story went, Silva would be in attendance at the Bell Centre to challenge Georges St. Pierre to a superfight, if GSP was victorious in his welterweight title defense against Carlos Condit. Though Silva does plan on attending the fight, he has no interest in getting up in St. Pierre’s grill afterwards:

I’m going to Los Angeles and then going to Canada for the fight of St. Pierre,” Silva told Tatame. “I’m already going to be there to shoot a movie, a feature film that I’ll participate in with Lyoto (Machida). It’s not my character to up and challenge anyone. I think it will not happen. I think not, I’m sure (laughs).”

Furthermore, Silva doesn’t plan on fighting anybody until the end of next year:

I’m on vacation from fighting. I think I will return only in the end of the next year. I have personal projects ongoing. Tomorrow I’m embarking to Los Angeles to attend the arrangements of the academy we’re setting up there…If the UFC wants to make an interim bout while I’m gone, it’s up to them. I don’t know if it will have any meaning but they can do whatever they want. I’m in a comfort zone, so I’m not worried about it.”

I’m sure Chris Weidman is just thrilled to hear about Anderson Silva and his “comfort zone.” But at least one fighter sees this “interim bout” business as a great opportunity…

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Michael Bisping vs. Vitor Belfort Booked for January 19th ‘UFC on FX 7′ Card in Brazil


(“Well Michael, you’ve really talked yourself into a corner this time.”) 

The good news: Michael Bisping is being given a fight that will at least semi-legitimize his claims of being the number one contender should he emerge victorious from it.

The bad news (for him at least): It’s against this man. (Author’s note: I’m sorry, I literally could not find ONE Vitor Belfort highlight video with a decent soundtrack. For shame, Youtube users.) 

Although the UFC tried to keep this matchup under wraps when it was first rumored, it looks like we will be seeing Bisping square off against the Brazilian “Phenom” Vitor Belfort after all. Not only that, this fight will serve as the main event of UFC on FX 7 on January 19th. Bully day!

Bisping has spent the past year or so calling out every viable contender in the middleweight division, so he should be more than satisfied (or terrified) knowing that he will be taking on a former light heavyweight champion and middleweight title challenger in Belfort for his next fight, as the Brazilian would easily make for the biggest win in the Brit’s career should the scaffolding fall from the roof and knock Belfort out in the first round. Because that is the only way Bisping is winning this one.

But who are we kidding, Belfort isn’t making it to this fight in one piece anyway, if at all.

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[VIDEO] Fuel TV’s ‘UFC Fighter Trivia’ Needs to Become Its Own Game Show

Before we even get into the awesome that is UFC Tonight’s recent “Fighter Trivia” episode, I just want to put it out there that I will beat any of you in any game show trivia challenge. Any of you. When I was in college, the only channel my RCA 630TS television received was The Game Show Network. Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, Double Dare, right down to the early pioneers of Press Your Luck, Match Game, Pyramid, and The Price is Right were at my disposal on a near 24/7 basis. When I wasn’t browned out in an alleyway looking for a jar of marmalade and bus ticket to Santa Fe, you could assume I was getting my trivia knowledge on with Brawlin’ Bob and the gang.

So you can imagine my excitement when I came across this gem of an idea Fuel TV devoted an episode of UFC Tonight to, with Ariel Helwani playing the proverbial Bob Eubanks role. The premise is simple, a group of fighters are subjected to what I assume is five rounds of trivia (there aren’t videos of all 5 rounds to confirm/deny this) covering everything from their knowledge of The Ultimate Fighter to that of pop culture. They are paired up for certain rounds, but mostly are forced to go on their own until one man is declared the winner.

For the inaugural segment, Michael Bisping, Rashad Evans, Dominick Cruz, and Kenny Florian were chosen as participants. Spoiler alert: Cruz doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and Bisping knows more about Dora the Explorer than we would have ever imagined.

After the jump: Two snippets from the show in which Florian forgets that Bisping and Evans fought at UFC 78 (along with the rest of the world) and Cruz fails to identify Bruce Springsteen by his nickname. Unforgivable, Dom.

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Anderson Silva Will Face Michael Bisping Before Chris Weidman, As World Continues Spiral Into Insanity [VIDEO]


(Props: AXS TV Fights)

It’s time to admit to ourselves, once and for all, that Anderson Silva isn’t the kind of champion we’d like him to be. After thoroughly conquering the middleweight division, fans assumed that the logical next step for the Greatest UFC Fighter of All Time would be to take more competitive matches against the elite in the light-heavyweight division. Of course, that’s not happening. Silva clearly has an agenda in the final stage of his career, and it doesn’t involve fighting non-superstars, or 205-pound phenoms who actually have a chance of beating him.

As Silva’s manager Ed Soares reiterates in this clip from Inside MMA, Anderson wants to fight UFC welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre next, at a suggested catchweight of 177.5. And after that…well…Michael Bisping, maybe? The idea that Anderson Silva would fight Jon Jones is immediately dismissed by Soares, and the name Chris Weidman — remember him? the UFC’s actual #1 middleweight contender? — isn’t even mentioned.

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Lack of Perspective Alert: Michael Bisping is Asking For a Title Shot Again, For Some Reason


(Rampage and Bisping might want to start running the things they are about to say out loud by more people than one another)

Let’s just dive right in, nation. UFC middleweight and all around centered and nice guy Michael Bisping recently spoke with MMA Junkie and had some pretty silly things to say. “I’m tired. I know I’ve got to wait my turn, but it’s pissing me off. I want to get my title shot, and if I keep beating guys, they’ll have no choice but to give it to me,” he told Junkie.

“I’m here, and I’m fighting the best guys. I want my shot.”

Bisping has undoubtedly fought some of the best fighters in the world, but he still doesn’t seem to realize that he needs to beat some of them in order to deserve a title shot. At present, ‘The Count’ has a brand new streak of exactly one, count em, one wins.

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Armchair Matchmaker: UFC 152 Edition


(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)

It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?

Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”

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