infomercial fail gifs
21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Michael Bisping

UFC 152 Open Workouts Recap: Michael Bisping 1, Heckler 0 [VIDEO]

To say the we like to have our fun at Michael Bisping’s expense would be like saying that Muhammad Ali liked to have his fun at Joe Frazier’s expense. Bisping is a polarizing figure in every sense of the word and one who is not likely to back down in the face of adversity. Therein lies his appeal. So if we could offer any advice to the Bisping haters out there, it would be to stifle said hatred when in “The Count’s” actual presence. Otherwise, you could quickly find yourself on the wrong end of a verbal (not to mention physical) beatdown in the near future.

Take this guy for instance:

As one can deduce from a basic ocular patdown – Skull t-shirt? Check. Dyed hair/soul patch/spray tan combo? Check. A faux gold chain draped over said skull t-shirt? Chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself, Cotton – this guy knows A LOT about MMA. Hence his decision to heckle Bisping from the crowd during his UFC 152 open workout.

It did not go well.

Read More DIGG THIS

Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 152 Edition


(Oh, jeez. Has Michael seen this poster yet? He is gonna be piiiisssed.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

You know that saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Well, such is the case with UFC 151’s trash (which coincidentally resembles the remnants of a totaled Bentley) and UFC 152’s treasure. And those of us who were smart enough to recognize a curse when we saw one and purchase our tickets accordingly will reap the rewards of the 151 fallout by being treated to two title fights on the very same card. Suck it, over-saturation!

This Saturday night, the GAE will attempt to go where no other MMA blog/website/”professional MMA gambler”(my favorite) has gone before, a perfect 4-0 generating plus money dating back to UFC 148. So follow us after the jump as we try to navigate through the good, the bad, and the ugly betting lines of UFC 152: Jones vs Belfort (courtesy of BestFightOdds).

Charlie Brenneman (-225) vs. Kyle Noke (+185)

I feel that the Spaniard will be able to get this fight to the mat and establish himself as the dominant fighter. Hovering around -225, the line is appealing when you examine how Kyle Noke has lost his last two UFC bouts coupled with how Charlie has found victory throughout his UFC career (Ed note: Except here). This fight falls into the good category for betting lines and Brenneman will find his way into my parlay as the well priced favorite here.

Read More DIGG THIS

Twitter Contest: MMA Fighters in Only Three Words [UPDATED]


(Too. Damn. Talented.)

By: Jason Moles

I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.

Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.

Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*

Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.

Leonard Garcia: God help him.

Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.

Read More DIGG THIS

A Note To All Flyweights: Michael Bisping Can Make Fun of *You*, Not the Other Way Around


(Benavidez REALLY lets Bisping have it at the 4:05 mark. That is sarcasm, by the way.)

It used to simply surprise me each time someone raced to defend the actions of Michael Bisping after we had given him the public tongue-lashing he so rightfully deserved, be it for his coaching exploits, his insistence on insulting every middleweight he comes across, or his general dickishness when alcohol is involved. His supporters, whom I can only assume are as crass, doltish, and incoherent as the subject at hand, often label us “anti-British,” because clearly Bisping’s ancestry is at the forefront of our issues with the guy, not the relentless douchbaggery he displays at every conceivable opportunity. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that no matter how sound a given argument is, there will always be a minority rallying against it. It’s why Old Dad was recently lambasted by the readers over at MMAJunkie for declaring that Brock Lesnar and all 8 of his professional fights had not earned him a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame because he had helped the sport get some fans (bring it on, bitches!). And it’s undoubtedly why some of you — for God knows what reason — will always be quick to defend the hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni known as Count Bisping (seriously, BRING IT ON!).

Take his recent squabble with the UFC’s flyweight division, for instance. With no clear motivation (other than being billed below them at UFC 152), Bisping decided to launch into a diatribe aimed at the 125-pounders, declaring that “no one cares about little flyweights.” Bisping continued his attack at the UFC 152 press conference, where, when forced to deal with a response from Joseph Benavidez, stated that “when you were a glint in your dad’s eye, I was kicking ass in the UFC,” which makes sense because AGE IS DETERMINED BY HEIGHT AND WEIGHT AND THAT’S IT SHUT UP. Benavidez, along with most of us who can subtract 28 from 33, dismissed Bisping’s comments as “ridiculous” and moved on. However, when Benavidez was asked by teammate Urijah Faber in the “fighter diary” above if he thought he hit harder than Bisping, he nonchalantly declared that yes, he believed he did.

This was the kind of insolence that Bisping would simply not tolerate.

After the jump: Bisping’s response, which is as eloquently phrased and intelligent as Winston Churchill’s epic pwnage of Nancy Astor.

Read More DIGG THIS

[VIDEO] This UFC 152 Promo Dutifully Tries To Convince Us That Jones/Belfort Makes Sense


(The hardest thing to believe about this poster is that the photos of Johnson and Benavidez have not been scaled down whatsoever. True story though.) 

Ever since it was announced that Vitor Belfort would be stepping up to face Jon Jones at UFC 152, the MMA world responded with a mixture of confused apprehension and the outright fear of knowing that Belfort might very well get beaten into a living death before our very eyes. The bookies seemed to agree, listing Bones as high as -1500 over the former heavyweight and light heavyweight champ, which likely had something to do with the fact that Belfort had defected to The Blackzilians in preparation for the bout.

But putting aside the fact that Jon Jones is bigger, younger, and actually manages to show up for the majority of his fights uninjured, the UFC has steamrolled ahead with their promos for UFC 152, trying to convince us that this fight will be closely contested in any way, shape, or form (I really hope I eat crow for this statement), because what other options do they have at this point? Check out the first official promo for UFC 152 after the jump, and let us know if you have taken the bait.

Read More DIGG THIS

Labor Day Fight Video Party: Silva, Jones, Henderson & More


(Will it ever get old?)

Here at CagePotato we don’t mind doing things by the book if we can still have a good time doing it. So, we didn’t mind enjoying a few modern classics when the UFC made them available through youtube.

After the jump you can too. Full fight videos of Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen II, Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping: Comeuppance, and Jon Jones vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson.

These are all good’uns so if you’re in America, enjoy part of your day off by watching some of the world’s best fighters get after it. And if you don’t have the day off, get back at your employer passive aggressively by wasting a couple hours watching these on the job.

Read More DIGG THIS

Friday Link Dump: Brittney on the Beach, Aldo vs. Edgar Betting Odds, Meathead’s New Fight + More


(Brittney Palmer makes love to the camera for her 2013 calendar, via TitoCouture)

Jose Aldo Opens as -175 Favorite Over Frankie Edgar at UFC 153 (MMAWeekly)

Anderson Silva: ‘A Lot Of People Thought I Was Gay’ Growing Up (Fightline)

That’s not urine, okay? It’s a home-made sport drink called Machida-Ade. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Michael Bisping Talks Jon Jones, Chael Sonnen and UFC 152 Fight With Brian Stann (HeavyMMA)

- Matt Mitrione vs. Phil De Fries Slated for UFC 155 (MMAFighting)

Dennis Siver vs. Eddie Yagin Moved To UFC On FOX 5, All UFC 151 Fights Now Rescheduled (BloodyElbow)

- MMA: Inside the Cage #109: “The Truth About Tag Team MMA” (MMA: Inside the Cage)

- Bruce Lee Kicked Fashion’s Ass (MadeMan)

The 101 Greatest ESPN GameDay Signs – EVER (BustedCoverage)

- Does Alcohol Really Help People Get Along? (MensFitness)

- The 10 Worst Movies of Summer 2012 (Complex)

Shay Maria Pops a Balloon on Her Boobs (WorldWideInterweb)

5 Reasons Burning Man Is Not as Cool as You Think (EgoTV)

Read More DIGG THIS

[VIDEO] Michael Bisping Talks TRT and God Damn It, We Actually Agree With Him


(I don’t always accuse Hector Lombard of using steroids, but when I do, I make this face.)  

Potato Nation, I feel like I should say something in regards to Michael Bisping, because it seems that every time we poke fun at the bloke, a few of you get all butt hurt and call us wankers or poofters before begging your mothers to kiss the wound and make it all better. You claim that we are biased against British people, and though we have every right to be, this is simply not the case.

So here’s the deal; I personally have nothing against you Brits. I find your accents to be glorious, dignified, and far more soothing on the ear to than the slack jawed “wickid aaawesomes” New England has to offer. I love the The Inbetweeners, Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown Ale, Ricky Gervais, and a platter of Bangers and Mash as much as the rest of you probably do, if not more. As a matter of fact, I don’t even hate Michael Bisping. Sure, the guy is a dick by all accounts, but I can’t really claim to hate someone that I’ve never met before. I’m simply not that cynical, and I’m sure the same goes for my fellow writers. But this is CagePotato. We make jokes here. And we just happen to enjoy targeting guys like Bisping, Josh Koscheck, fat BJ Penn, and Dana White, because we enjoy picking the lowest hanging fruit. We good now? Alright, let’s move on.

The reason I give this disclaimer is due to the fact that Bisping recently sat down with Mauro Ranallo for a lengthy interview a month out from his UFC 152 fight with “All American” Brian Stann. We know, you’re thinking we’re going to set him up for a punchline here, but that is not the case today. Everything from the current injury curse to Hector Lombard’s dud of a debut was discussed, but it was when they came to the issue of TRT that Bisping actually made an argument that we could get behind. Our buddies over at MiddleEasy shared our concern. Granted, Bisping had to reduce most of his argument to the crudest terms available, but that doesn’t make it wrong:

I think it’s absolute nonsense, rubbish, bullshit. Listen, we all get old, we all grow up, you know? At some point, as you start getting older, your balls don’t work as well and you don’t make as much testosterone, but, that’s life and you deal with it. A guy that is 40-years old doesn’t make as much testosterone as a 21-year old so he gets an exemption certificate to say, ‘So now we will give him as much testosterone as a 21-year old.’ Well, what about me, I’m 33 (years of age), I’m not making the same amount as a 21-year old, but I make more than a 40-year old.

Where do we draw the line? It’s nonsense.

After the jump: The full interview, wherein Bisping accuses Lombard of steroid use, calls Mark Munoz fat, and says he’s “gonna knock the fucker out” when discussing Stann. And the world returned to normal.

Read More DIGG THIS

Mirror, Mirror: UFC Fighters and Their Sports Star Counterparts


(Oh, you said you have a *flaggy* tattoo? I must have misheard you.) 

By Nathan Smith

During a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal, Dana White said, “Globally, we’re already bigger than the NFL.” From a global stand point that may be true, but in the Pulp Fiction-esque United States, the NFL is still Marsellus Wallace. The UFC may never gain the notoriety that the NFL has in America but stand-out fighters continue to ink major product endorsement deals. Anderson Silva (Burger King, Budweiser), Georges St. Pierre (Gatorade, UnderArmor) and Jon Jones (Nike) are paving the way to success for future mixed martial artists. Although big-time corporate sponsorship for fighters is in its infancy, the other major professional sports leagues have seen their athletes gain almost as much notoriety outside the lines as within.

The UFC was purchased by Zuffa just over a decade ago and has been charging towards global domination ever since. Sure, the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL (well, maybe not the NHL) playoffs and championship contests annihilate the UFC ratings-wise but the premier MMA organization is gaining at a rapid pace. Take into account the combined several hundred years of history the 4 “major” professional leagues hold and it is glaringly apparent that the UFC and its stars are closing the gap like a fat dude towards a parked Roach Coach.

Comparing the UFC’s ratings and popularity with the aforementioned leagues is somewhat asinine and it would not be fair or rational to compare athletes from other sports with UFC fighters – but you have visited Cagepotato.com. We have never been accused of being fair or rational and matching fighters with their counterparts from around the world of other sporting organizations seemed as logical as a booze-filled headset.

Anderson Silva and Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan has become the benchmark to which all athletes are measured, although the comparisons have transcended far beyond the realm of athletics. Any activity or event draws comparisons to #23 (or #45 whatever). From Ken Jennings being the Michael Jordan of Jeopardy, to Joey Chestnut being the Michael Jordan of gluttony or Peter North being the Michael Jordan of male climax volume, Jordan is synonymous with superiority. In every single poll taken in the last decade regarding the “Top 100 NBA players in History” the battle is for #2 through #100. Michael Jordan is considered the greatest of all time in his medium (and I am not talking about minor league baseball).  Anderson Silva, with his perfect 15-0 record and 10 consecutive title defenses in the UFC, has done things that may never be accomplished again in the history of mixed martial arts. Some day a fighter may come along (if he hasn’t already *foreshadowing*) and surpass Silva’s records but until his numbers fall, Anderson Silva is the Michael Jordan of MMA – period.

Read More DIGG THIS

Jason Miller Goes Full-On Bath Salts, Arrested in Orange County Church During Naked Tirade [UPDATED With Mugshot]

Jason Mayhem Miller
(Nice job, Jason, you’ve gone and gotten yourself fired again, you idiot. Calm down, just calm down…you’ve talked your way out of worse than this, you just gotta think. How to stay relevant, how to stay relevant…OK, it has to be something REALLY out there, you know, something that will totally live up to your zany personality and at the least get you another pilot on MTV…fucking Bisping and his fire extinguishers ruined everything for us…come on, we’ve got to FOCUS!!….Wait…fire extinguishers…….Mayhem, you cheeky bastard, you’ve done it again.) 

Update: Miller’s booking photo is now at the bottom of this post, via TMZ. He looks pretty good, considering.

Well this is surprising.

Just days after urging Dana White to commit suicide, dubbing himself “A warrior for peace and ultimate fighter for justice” and bragging about how he was “happier than I have ever been,” it appears that TUF 14 coach and Bully Beatdown host Jason Miller has been arrested. Again. In a church in Mission Viejo. Naked.

Apparently Miller’s newfound “energy” is fueled by either bath salts or peyote and a touch of the crazy. In either case, we fail to see how this defines putting said energy into “the right things.” Here’s what went down according to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, the O.C. Sheriff’s Office received a call early this morning from the Mission Hills Church in Mission Viejo about a possible burglary in progress.

When the deputies arrived, we’re told they found the first and second floors covered in white fire extinguisher spray. Cops say the place was also trashed — scattered CDs, books, and broken pictures.

When officers reached the second floor, we’re told they found Miller naked on some couch — totally awake and coherent.  It’s unclear if Miller was under the influence.

A note to all you haters of Michael Bisping: “The Count” doesn’t always prank you, but when he does, it emotionally traumatizes you for life. And Mayhem just got Scott Tenorman’d.

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA