(Props: crazycnote13)

After Kimbo Slice‘s scheduled boxing match against Mike Glenn fell through when Glenn didn’t send him the fight-footage he required — a rather unique thing for a fighter to have in his contract, but whatever — promoter Wes Slay has found a replacement opponent to throw them bungalows against the Miami Pound Machine tomorrow night. Slice will now be facing off against Brian Green, a middleweight MMA fighter with a record of 27-17. All of Green’s 27 victories have come by stoppage, with 22 by submission, which is completely irrelevant since this will be a boxing match. From what I can tell, Green doesn’t have any pro boxing experience, certainly not against guys who outweigh him by 40-50 pounds.

The match will go down Saturday evening at the “Fight Night Returns” MMA/boxing card at the O’Reilly Family Event Center in Springfield, Missouri. Assuming you have better things to do than watch the press-conference video above, we’ll break down the highlights for you:

0:08-0:12: I guarantee you that the white-haired old lady was only there for the free coffee at Reliable Chevrolet, and probably jumped out of her seat when Kimbo emerged from the back.

1:57-2:28: According to Slay, Brian Green is “one of the top, elite MMA fighters in all the world,” with a “winning record against fighters currently in the UFC.” Okay, this is kind of funny. Slay is technically correct, in that Green is 1-0 against active UFC fighters, with a 2006 armbar win over Nik Lentz. Against fighters who used to be in the UFC, he’s a somewhat-less-impressive 0-8, with losses to Brock Larson, Chad Reiner, Joe Vedepo, Paul Georgieff, Crafton Wallace, Rob Kimmons, Rory Markham, and Nick Thompson.

Ay dog, we just wanted to let you know that our Wrong Side of Town DVD caption contest ends tomorrow at noon ET, so go here to throw in your final entries for a chance to win.

Bonus, after the jump: Check out the picture we were almost going to use for this contest, before we came across the above shot of Kimbo and the Pimpmidget. No, this is not another caption contest — wasting company time to come up with one-liners for a ridiculous photo of Aleksander Emelianenko should be its own reward.

Many of you disagreed with our description of yesterday’s cartwheel kick knockout as “the greatest KO ever.”  Yeah, we weren’t totally serious about that (ever heard of hyberbole?), but our good friend Matt Brown, editor of Fight! Magazine, took issue with it and sent us the above video to demonstrate what a truly amazing knockout looks like.

These two midgets pull out all the stops in this kickboxing bout, and as you can tell the announcer (is that you, Frank Trigg?) is loving it. So is this yet another sign of the impending apocalypse?  Maybe.  But we prefer to think of it as a sign that Matt Brown is a weirdo.  Don’t worry though, he insists that he only stumbled across the video by accident while searching for midget porn.

After the jump, Kimo Leopoldo is out of jail and breaking bricks with his head.  Is that more or less bizarre than the midgets?  You decide.