(“It’ll never happen, ladies. Now go back to the kitchen and make me an eight-sided sandwich.” / Image via CagePotato’s Facebook page, which you should all follow immediately.)

By the CagePotato.com Staff

They were undeniable truths — until suddenly, they weren’t. Check out our latest list below, and ask yourself: What do I believe now that will turn out to be utter bullshit someday?

1. Alistair Overeem will become the UFC heavyweight champion in less than a year.

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

2. There’s no way a boxer could ever beat a mixed martial artist under MMA rules.

3. Rickson’s record is 400-0. No, seriously.
 

When all is said and done, UFC 159 will be remembered for three things: mangled appendages, Jon Jones’ easiest challenge ever, and Jerry Rips, a Youtube user/possible demigod who seemingly hacked into the event’s audio feed with no ulterior motive other than displaying his immense power and creeping everyone the fuck out. Well Taters, if you thought Jerry’s trolling of UFC 159 was an isolated incident, START THINKING THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.

Somehow, Jerry managed to dig up the audio/video feed from the aftermath of Miguel Torres‘ KO loss to Michael McDonald at UFC 145 and threw it up on his Youtube page last night. And once again, we have been left with more questions than answers: How long has Jerry been hacking into UFC audio feeds? Does he plan on releasing audio of that time Tim Sylvia shit his pants? Do you think Timmeh’s corner noticed, like, immediately? Did Miguel ever go on that vacation Firas Zahabi promised him? Why did Torres think he was fighting Mark Hominick at featherweight? Do all white people look the same to semi-conscious Miguel Torres?

Based on the evidence, Jerry Rips can only be one of the following:

“My management paid HOW MANY Pitbull bucks for this song?! Paulo Filho won’t be impressed.”

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has released fighter salaries for the inaugural World Series of Fighting event, held last Saturday night in Las Vegas. Former UFC heavyweight champion Andrei Arlovski made the most money that evening, bringing home $60,000 for crushing Devin Cole in the main event. While we’re all glad to see Arlovski get paid, hopefully he spends some money on better entrance music; having some rapper bark your name is something that an amateur on the undercard of a local show would do to get people to notice him (assuming none of his friends knew how to shave stars into his hair, of course), not something a former UFC champion should do to keep people interested in his career. Just saying, it was pretty cheesy.

Taking home the second-largest purse of the evening was Anthony “Rumble” Johnson, who earned $55,000 for his highlight reel knockout against D.J. Linderman. Since moving up to a weight class that he should reasonably be fighting at, Anthony Johnson has looked pretty impressive. It’s a shame that he sacrificed so much of his career – not to even mention his health – cutting to welterweight, but at twenty-eight years old it’s by no means over for the UFC veteran.

Keep in mind that none of these salaries include any undisclosed bonuses or end of the night bonuses that World Series of Fighting may have given out. Also, even though this promotion is riding a lot of hype and had recognizable talent throughout the card, keep in mind that WSoF is a brand new promotion that just put on its first event. Basically, no one made Anderson Silva money, is what I’m trying to say:

By CagePotato contributer Andreas Hale

The World Series of Fighting held their first event at the Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas, NV. Although the main card appeared to be stuffed with squash matches, it was a pretty good night of fights and I was there to get a good gauge on the atmosphere and if WSoF could become a player in the MMA world that Dana White rules with an iron fist.

First things first, it wasn’t the sellout they promised as word is that they only sold 1500 tickets and comped double that to ensure a nice fight atmosphere. Nevertheless, it was a good evening of fights that the crowd was receptive to. Oh yeah, ring girls. Lots of ring girls. They were like a platoon that switched in and out. I didn’t know ring girls needed breaks but whatever. It’s enough variety to keep fans engaged between rounds. I mean, Brittany Palmer and Arianny Celeste are great but six beats two every single gotdamn time. Right? But I digress…

Media sat on a stage that put us eye level with the cage and we could damn near touch it (or slap a cameraman) if we tried hard enough. We could actually feel some of the punches landed. Pretty good stuff. Oh yeah, and there were fights.

In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been all about the inaugural World Series of Fighting event around here lately. We’ve snagged interviews with former UFC welterweight Josh Burkman, who is taking on fellow UFC vet Gerald Harris on the undercard, and world renowned badass/WSOF President Ray Sefo. In the meantime, we’ve been doing our best to undermine the legitimacy of the UFC, in turn allowing the WSOF to rise to MMA supremacy and grant us exclusive press passes for all future events.

And regardless of whether or not our preposterous pipe dream ever becomes a reality, we will be tuning in on Saturday to catch all the action. Sherdog will be hosting a live stream of the undercard starting at 8 pm. EST and the NBC Sports Network will be picking up the main card at 10 p.m. EST, so none of you should really have any excuse to miss this. On the off chance you still do, however, here are five of our attempts to convince you otherwise.

1. Shit is Stacked

At first glance, the above event poster looks like some kind of sick joke. You’ve got three UFC veterans — two of which are former UFC/WEC champions — in Andrei Arlovski, Miguel Torres, and Anthony Johnson, taking on three completely unknowns in Cole, Moraes, and Linderman. On the other hand, squash matches are the new black, so if it’s good enough for the UFC, why not WSOF?

(Now that Anthony Johnson competes at light-heavyweight, we can all stop freaking out about this photo.)

You don’t call yourself the “World Series of Fighting” without lofty aspirations. The upstart MMA promotion launched by former K-1 star Ray Sefo (!) will be hosting its first event on November 3rd at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, and has already inked a deal to air its first card live on the NBC Sports Network (?!?).

And to give viewers a reason to tune in, the WSOF has been hard at work snatching up as many big name ex-UFC fighters as possible, and putting them in surprisingly competitive fights. Here’s a little taste of what the matchmakers have planned for World Series of Fighting 1…

- In the night’s main event, Andrei Arlovski will be returning from his no-contest/moral victory against Tim Sylvia to face Strikeforce vet Devin Cole, who won unanimous decisions over Shawn Jordan and Gabriel Salinas-Jones in his last two appearances.

- Anthony Johnson, now 2-0 as a light-heavyweight, will look to make it three in a row against 14-3 moneyweight DJ Linderman, who holds the Cage Warriors heavyweight title and was a semi-finalist in Bellator’s season 4 light-heavyweight tournament last year.

(Props: @MiguelTorresMMA via MMAMania)

Well this is just friggin’ unbelievable. If a new report from Dave Meltzer at Wrestling Observer is accurate, Miguel Torres‘s recent UFC re-firing wasn’t due to his knockout loss to Michael McDonald earlier this year. Allegedly, it was due to the same lapse in judgement/humor/decency that got him fired the first time. As Meltzer writes:

The cutting of Miguel Torres was disciplinary in nature although it was not said what the cause was, only that he was cut. His record wasn’t bad, with a knockout loss to Michael McDonald who is going to be a top star (provided his hands don’t keep betraying him as he’s already broken them a couple of times) and a close loss to Demetrious Johnson, both top guys. He made the r*** joke on twitter and was fired, then brought back, and apparently he made some sort of a similar mistake.

The tweet at the top of this post was dug up by MMAMania, who point out that it was sent a couple weeks after the McDonald loss. And while it still hasn’t been confirmed exactly what led to Torres’s latest firing, it’s astounding that he would still be playing with fire like this. For those people who viewed Torres as a victim of over-sensitivity during his first UFC firing, you have to admit that he would have to be the dumbest motherfucker alive to continue making rape jokes after he already lost his job once.

If someone could be literally addicted to making rape jokes — and if such a person exists, it would be Miguel Torres — this would represent a pretty obvious rock bottom, and a sign that he needs help. What the hell, man. Seriously.

(True story.)

As a wise man once tweeted, “everyone likes surprises.” Nevertheless, Miguel Torres probably didn’t enjoy the surprise he got recently when he found out that he had been cut for the second time by the UFC. Torres confirmed on his official website that he was handed his walking papers following his first-round knockout loss against rising star Michael McDonald at UFC 145. The firing follows a temporary release in December, which Torres caught for rape-joke-related offenses.

At one point the most dominant bantamweight in the history of the sport, Torres ends his UFC stint with an underwhelming record of 2-2, including decision wins over Antonio Banuelos and Nick Pace, and losses to McDonald and Demetrious Johnson. Prior to that, Torres spent three fruitful years in the WEC, where he won the promotion’s 135-pound belt and successfully defended it three times before a pair of stoppage losses to Brian Bowles and Joseph Benavidez permanently dethroned him.

(Above: Rashad Evans licks his hand and wipes his butt…
Below: …and pays dearly for it. / Props: )

We bid a final farewell to Saturday’s UFC event with a roundup of the 11 best GIFs from UFC 145, courtesy of The UG and IronForgesIron. Enjoy, and click here for previous MMA GIF coverage.

(Was this photo taken with a fish eye lens? Get it?! A FISH EYE LENS!! *crickets*) 

Yowza. As if we needed further proof, Rashad Evans sent out this tweet earlier today, confirming once and for all that Jon Jones does is fact have the nastiest elbows in the game. At least he took it in stride, stating the following:

I went 2 UFC 145 in Atlanta and I had the best seat in the house & all I came back with was this fat eye! Wth! I hope those of u that went came back with better souvenirs than I did! =)

Brandon Vera feels your pain, Suga. And then some.

Though Evans only received a week suspension, he might want to consider sitting out a little longer while he waits for that baby to deflate. ‘Shad was one of fourteen fighters from Saturday’s card to earn just a seven day suspension for cautionary reasons. Brendan Schaub and Che Mills received 45 day suspensions for their (T)KO losses, where Miguel Torres earned a 60 day suspension for his knockout loss to Michael McDonald. Torres must also undergo a CT scan before he is cleared to return to action.

But worse than Schaub, worse even than Torres, was the indefinite suspension Mac Danzig received for the gnarly ankle injury he suffered in his unanimous decision victory over Efrain Escudero as a result of a first round heel hook. Word has it that while this was occurring, Rousimar Palhares went on a bloodthirsty rampage through Brazil that resulted in the deaths of no less than 400 people.

Check out the photo of the damage, compliments of Danzig’s twitter, along with the full medical suspensions, after the jump. 

By Elias Cepeda

(UFC welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre [right] and fan contest winner future champion Rory MacDonald)

Ok, let’s get right to the cheddar – the UFC 145 fight bonuses, which UFC President Dana White announced during the post-event presser (video of entire press conference below). It always warms the heart when the fighters who get the big bonus checks are not the big stars, and that’s what happened at UFC 145.

Ben Rothwell, Travis Browne, Mark Hominick and Eddie Yagin all earned an extra $65,000 for their efforts Saturday night in Atlanta, GA. Rothwell got the KO of the night for his come-from-behind stoppage of Brendan Schaub. Browne got the night’s only submission but it was still a good one – forcing Chad Griggs to tap out to an arm triangle choke.

Eddie Yagin and Mark Hominick both took home fight of the night honors for their back and forth war. Yagin also took home the win bonus for earning the split-decision win over the former featherweight #1 contender.

The Immortal beats The Karate Kid and GSP-lite continues to impress

Matt Brown took a little steam out of the home town Karate Kid Stephen Thompson with a unanimous decision win. Thompson burst onto the UFC scene with a nifty lead leg KO at UFC 143. Brown has a toughness that his win to loss ratio doesn’t necessarily reveal, and a win over a top prospect like Thompson helps “The Immortal” get back on the slow climb up in the welterweight division.

Staying in the welterweight division for a moment, Rory MacDonald continued to prove that he is the division’s brightest young star

(“…but my body! My BODY, is telling me yeeahh!” / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

At long last, we’re finally going to find out if watching Jon Jones and Rashad Evans fight is as entertaining as discussing it. The two light-heavyweight rivals — who sport similar haircuts, completely by coincidence — will settle their beef at the end of tonight’s UFC 145 main card, backed by a supporting lineup that includes Rory MacDonald vs. Che Mills, Brendan Schaub vs. Ben Rothwell, and Miguel Torres vs. Michael McDonald.

Live, round-by-round results from the UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans pay-per-view broadcast will be collecting after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato flyweight liveblog champ Aaron Mandel. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Now take our hand, Constant Reader, and follow us into the abyss…

(Thank God they brought in Joe Silva to separate two former UFC champions if things got heated.) 

With the exception of John Makdessi, who weighed in at 158 pounds and was forced to hand over 20 percent of his purse to opponent Anthony Njokuani, all fighters made weight at this afternoon’s UFC 145 weigh-ins. Jon Jones tipped the scales at the light-heavyweight limit of 205, where Rashad Evans weighed-in just shy at 204. One of the more interesting moments from the event, as noted by our buddy Ariel Helwani, was the stare down between the newly re-signed Miguel Torres and Michael McDonald. Obviously a fan of how the 209 do business, Torres put on his finest mean mug for the pair’s stare down, only to be basically laughed at by “Mayday,” who clearly wasn’t intimidated.

Another thing of note: Despite weighing in just under the heavyweight limit, Ben Rothwell looked to be in way better shape than we’ve seen in the past. Will it help him come fight night? Probably not, but we can all dream.

Full results and the video are after the jump. 

(What? Is that ghost you’ve been staring at all these years on his lunch break?) 

By Ryan Sarr

The time for talk is up. For over a year now, we’ve watched as Jon Jones and Rashad Evans’ relationship has deteriorated from training partners willing to fake injury to avoid fighting one another, to bitter enemies just waiting for the chance to beat the other into a living death. Is all the personal heat real? Can these two bury the hatchet after the fight? We’ll find out soon enough, but either way, this has all the makings of a can’t miss war that will not soon be forgotten. All signs point to a decisive victory for “Bones” in ATL tomorrow night, but as we all know, anything can happen in a fight. So join me as I break down all the main card fights taking place at UFC 145 and give you my street-certified predictions.

Jon Jones (15-1, 9-1 UFC) vs. Rashad Evans (17-1-1, 12-1-1 UFC)

At only 24 years old, Jones has already been in more title fights(3) than the 32 year-old Evans(2). So clearly, Jones should not be intimidated, for he is battle-tested and has proven himself worthy of carrying that UFC Light Heavyweight belt. And not only has Jones taken out three former UFC champions in his last three fights, he has done so in devastating fashion. In his last fight, Jones dropped Lyoto Machida (a.k.a the man who made Rashad do the cross-eyed stanky leg) face down on the mat after choking him unconscious. That type of win has to make Jones feel good going into his fight with Rashad.

While Jones comes into Saturday night riding a stratospheric surge of momentum, Rashad enters this fight following an unceremonious, workmanlike decision victory over Phil Davis at UFC on Fox in January. However, there are many positives to take away from that victory, the first of which being the decisive, dominant manner in which Rashad managed to defeat a very talented prospect in Davis. “Suga” overcame a significant reach disadvantage (like he will face with Jones) to close the gap and effectively control Davis with his superior wrestling and ground game. Second, Rashad finally had the chance to prove that he could go the full five rounds, and imposed his will on “Mr. Wonderful” from the start of round 1 to the end of the fifth. Most of the Potato Nation seems to agree that his fight with Jones will likely be a knock down, drag out war that tests the will, strength, and cardiac endurance of both men, so it’s good to know that Rashad will be able to keep up with Jones if the fight makes it into the championship rounds. Finally, Rashad demonstrated that once he gets his opponent down on the mat, he can do some serious damage. So even if Rashad may not be able to stand and trade with Jones, he at least knows that if he can get Jones down, his chances of grinding out a victory significantly increase.

Join us after the jump for more on Jones/Evans, as well as a break down of all of the main card’s match-ups. 

(Don’t worry, we put more effort into this piece than the UFC marketing department did into that poster.) 

Rumor has it that on Saturday night, two certain somebodies may or may not partake in a certain fight that you may or may not be able to place a certain wager on, which may or may not be dependent on whether you think or don’t think you know a certain outcome of the fight itself, capiche? In either case, we are going to offer some advice that may or may not help you arrive at that determination. Check out what could hypothetically be the betting lines for UFC 145, courtesy of BestFightOdds, below, and follow us after the jump for what may or may not be our advice on where to place a certain bet that may or may not exist.

MAIN CARD
Jon Jones (-485) vs. Rashad Evans (+385)
Rory MacDonald (-600) vs. Che Mills (+450)
Ben Rothwell (+240) vs. Brendan Schaub (-280)
Mark Hominick (-600) vs. Eddie Yagin (+450)
Mark Bocek (-400) vs. John Alessio (+325)
Michael McDonald (even) vs. Miguel Torres (-120)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Travis Browne (-260) vs. Chad Griggs (+220)
Matt Brown (+250) vs. Stephen Thompson (-300)
John Makdessi (+175) vs. Anthony Njokuani (-210)
Mac Danzig (-210) vs. Efrain Escudero (+175)
Chris Clements (-200) vs. Keith Wisniewski (+170)
Maximo Blanco (-265) vs. Marcus Brimage (+225)

Thoughts…

(Detectid, did u no goin and you tell me do things I dun runnin?) 

Happy Monday, Potato Nation. Whether you spent the weekend letting out some built up anxiety or fighting your way out of retirement, we can all take solace in the fact that most of us probably emerged unscathed from what was a prank filled April Fools Day yesterday. I, for one, was not so lucky. You see, I was unaware that yesterday was in fact April Fools Day. My ex, on the other hand, felt it would be funny to inform me that she was pregnant, and that the child was mine, only to send me a text at 12:01 a.m. stating the opposite. No one will miss her.

Speaking of people that found themselves victim to a good old fashioned AFD ruse, former UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad Evans was recently the target of a simple, albeit clever prank last weekend during an autograph signing session. One fan, who must not be able to purchase underwear due to the size of his massive balls, decided to ask Evans to autograph the above photo depicting his brutal knockout loss to Lyoto Machida at UFC 98. Considering Rashad’s well documented sense of humor, you’d think he could have a good laugh at his own expense.

You would be wrong.

(The shirt says it all.) 

Roy Nelson’s UFC 143 scrap with Fabricio Werdum was truly an exercise in futility for “Big Country,” because it more or less showcased what we already knew about him (the man can take a beating like no other), while at the same time reinforcing the idea that Nelson has damn near refused to evolve as a MMA fighter. Yes, he has recently shown a commitment to slimming down and yes, not many of us expected him to try and submit Werdum on Saturday, but if Roy doesn’t start switching up his striking routine (aka looking for anything but a big overhand right), he can expect several more axe wounds like the one above in his future.

We love you Roy, but it might be time to depart from The Country Club for a while, because you can only change the tee box and hole locations for so long until you just get sick of playing the same course over and over again.

Speaking of axe wounds, join us after the jump for a brief look back at some of MMA’s nastiest cuts…

(Man, Rampage is looking ROUGH these days.) 

A fighter’s lifestyle is all about two things: discipline and sacrifice, especially when it comes to the food one eats. Those cookies ‘n cream Oreo fudge brownies your grandma used to make? Now a distant memory. That chili cheese Frito pie you used to eat right out of the bag? A thing of the past. And don’t even get us started on that fast food lasagna you and your buddies got drunk and made last weekend. But fret not, Potato Nation, for newly re-signed UFC bantamweight Miguel Torres is here to show you how to make a meal that will satisfy your inner beast without making you look like Paul Daley at the weigh-ins.

Today’s dish, “Pork Spare Ribs with Tomatillo Chile Sauce.”

We gotta say, if Miguel feels the need to quote Workaholics again in the near future,  he could easily grab a spot on the next season of Celebrity Cook Off. Join us after the jump to learn how to make Vitor Belfort and Mike Dolce’s infamous “East Coast Breakfast Toast.”

(The Interweb never lies.)

Ariel Helwani caught up with Dana White ahead of tonight’s UFC 141 event and he asked the UFC president where about the growing opinion that Jon Fitch is being overlooked in the UFC welterweight title picture. According to White, who says he’s in the mix, regardless of Fitch’s current streak and the fact that he only has one loss and one draw in his past 20 fights, unless he makes some drastic changes to his game, he likely won’t main event on a pay-per-view let alone fight for the welterweight strap any time soon.

“You hear the same thing from everybody about Jon Fitch: ‘If I want to get to sleep and I can’t get to sleep at night, I’ll put in a Jon Fitch fight.’ Whatever you think, Jon Fitch is one of the best 170-pounders in the world. And yes, he’s in the hunt for a title again, but everybody… find one person that will tell you they love a Jon Fitch fight, it’s the most exciting thing they’ve ever seen and they just get so excited for it. So when you say that you have a fight like Cerrone and Diaz on the card and a guy with a record like his is on and people aren’t jumping out of their seats for that fight, I think Jon needs to have a little bit of a… he’s got to be a little honest with himself and have a little bit of a reality check when he talks about stuff like [fighters talking their way into title fights.”

Via ArielHelwani:

“Dana says Torres is back. Torres has donated money to local rape centers, visited them. Dana says Torres was very remorseful…Dana says Torres handled his business like a man and no one told him to do it. Torres very emotional.”

In the latest example of Dana White releasing fighters in a fit of anger before changing his mind (see also: Jon Fitch, Karo Parisyan), the UFC president confirmed at today’s “Lesnar vs. Overeem” press conference that Miguel Torres‘s tweet-related firing was more like a three-week suspension. Torres apparently did enough to get back in White’s good graces after his rape-joke-gone-awry, and can now return to his rightful place in the UFC bantamweight division.

We’re glad this story got a happy ending. Now can Gerald Harris and Natasha Wicks get some love or what?

(Torres following his unanimous decision loss to social media. / Photo via ESPN)

Update: Torres has released a statement about his release. Check it out at the bottom of this post.

Miguel Torres — former undisputed WEC bantamweight champion and die-hard fan of rape jokes — has been released by the UFC. Dana White confirmed the firing yesterday evening, telling SI.com, “his career with us now is over.”

The reason for Torres’s release was a tweet that reportedly read, “If a rape van was called a surprise van, more women wouldn’t mind going for rides in them. Everyone likes surprises.” Torres later removed the tweet and replaced it with an edited version. White was informed of the tweet second-hand by Michael Landsberg and made the decision to fire Torres shortly after.

So why is Torres being made an example of, when Forrest Griffin and Rashad Evans made similar off-color statements recently? Basically, it’s because he didn’t have a good enough explanation.

(You dun goofed, son.)

A story of street justice out of Chicago today that makes Jon Jones’ bout of heroism seem like a boyscout helping an old lady across the street, claims that a “UFC champion” fended off an armed mugger and would-be carjacker on Friday.

According to various reports that originated from a police report of the incident that was released today, a 24-year-old career criminal got his just desserts when he pulled a gun on a seasoned MMA fighter and ordered him out of his vehicle after lightening his wallet.

“The Stoic Russian” is a hurtful stereotype, so we didn’t include it.  The more you know…..

People complain about “pro-wrestling bullshit” invading MMA, but it’s been demonstrated over and over again: personality will get you places in the fight game.  We’ve pointed this out before, like when we advised Jon Fitch on how to ensure a title shot.  Some fighters are talked about incessantly on forums, at lunch tables, and in interviews because they’ve managed to capture the interest of fans, and many times it is because of things that they have done or said while not in the cage.

Come on in and let’s talk about archetypes, drama, and personality.  Because there’s only so many technique videos out there.

Let’s be honest, there weren’t many of us out there biting our nails in anticipation of Mac Danzig vs. Matt Wiman Part II in the weeks leading up to it, but boy were we wrong. The rematch, which took home Fight of the Night Honors, was a back and forth, blood soaked brawl, and we loved every second of it. So it is in light of their triumph that we present you, Potato Nation, with five rematches, in no particular order, that we can expect to see as soon as Joe Silva starts returning our calls.

5. Carlos Condit vs. Rory Macdonald

Depending on how well Carlos Condit does in his upcoming title fight against GSP, the possibility of seeing these two welterweight brutes tangle again seems pretty high. Both have been on a tear as of late, and the first fight between them was nothing short of extraordinary.

They had all the momentum in the world — and then it fell apart. Whether it was due to poorly-timed losses, fan-unfriendly fighting styles, or both, these UFC fighters have reached a holding pattern in their careers, and will need a few dramatic performances to break out of it…

Demian Maia

After kicking his UFC career off with five-straight submission victories, Demian Maia began drawing comparisons to Royce Gracie Himself. A 21-second knockout loss at the hands of Nate Marquardt put the reins on his hype, and a bland stretch of five consecutive decisions — including his debacle of a loss to Anderson Silva and his most recent defeat by Mark Munoz — snuffed that hype out for good. It’s not just that Maia’s been relegated to the middle of the pack. With all the heat generated by outspoken middleweight contenders like Chael Sonnen, Chris Leben, Michael Bisping, and now Jason Miller, Maia is barely a blip on the radar these days.

Miguel Torres

(Photo props: Ed Mulholland)
From 2004-2009, Torres racked up 17 straight wins (15 by stoppage), won the WEC’s bantamweight title and defended it three times in breathtaking fashion. Not only was he one of the most dangerous fighters in the sport, he was also one of the most consistently entertaining. Back-to-back stoppage losses to Brian Bowles and Joseph Benavidez changed all that. Torres re-located his training camp to Tristar gym in Montreal and re-emerged as a more cautious, measured fighter who jabbed a lot. It was the right choice for his fight record, as he won his next two matches against Charlie Valencia and Antonio Banuelos, but it was clear that we weren’t watching the same mulleted buzzsaw that we knew and loved. Then, at UFC 130, he got outwrestled by undersized up-and-comer Demetrious Johnson. No more win streak, no more fan-favorite cred — Torres is back at square one.

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com. Rampage’s victory reaction gif is now after the jump.)

When the anticipated rematch between Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard was scrapped from this card, we were left with a few big names and a lot of hope. Despite a few stellar knockouts earlier in the evening, UFC 130 ended much like my date to see “No Strings Attached”: a lot of booing, a disappointing 15 minute fight, and I was out $50.

Every UFC card has to be about something, and with no gold up for grabs the storyline for this event became Quinton Jackson’s climb back up to the top of the Light Heavyweight division. Dana White declared and Rogan and Goldberg echoed that an impressive, entertaining victory over Matt Hamill would land Rampage a title fight with champ Jon Jones. Rampage secured the win, but his shot at the belt is still up in the air.

(Oh put your hands down, Yves, you had nothing to do with that shit.)

Dana White confirmed today that a middleweight meeting between Vitor Belfort and Yoshihiro Akiyama has been set for UFC 133, August 6th in Philadelphia. It’s a bit of tough break for Belfort, who previously agreed to a fight with Wanderlei Silva (which fell through), then pleaded for a spot on the UFC Rio card and didn’t get that either. On the bright side, Belfort has the firepower to knock Akiyama’s dome into the front row, as long as he can avoid eating a surprise front kick. “Sexyama” has dropped his last two fights, and hasn’t scored a victory since his split-decision win over Alan Belcher at UFC 100 in July 2009.

Speaking of UFC 133, welterweight oddball sensation Brian Ebersole will be returning at the Philly event, fresh off his upset decision win over Chris Lytle at UFC 127 in February. Ebersole will face off against veteran Dennis Hallman, who is riding back-to-back wins over Ben Saunders and Karo Parisyan — both of whom were fired from the UFC after those losses. Ebersole and Hallman have a combined 117 MMA fights between the two of them.

In other fight-booking news…

(Munster Mulisha! Pic: MMA Convert)

There was good reason for Jose Aldo to immediately start gobbling up the headlines after the UFC crowned him and Dominick Cruz its newest champions at the beginning of this year. Aldo after all has been known to suspend the rules of space and time during his fights and in one of his two most recent performances, ground the former consensus GOAT’s lead leg into andouille sausage. Still, with all the attention afforded the featherweight champ these past few months, we couldn’t blame bantamweight kingpin Cruz if he were sitting around right now mumbling something like “Wait ’till they a get a load of me.”

Because, while Aldo has been tabbed the immediate breakout superstar of the lighter weight classes, Cruz has certainly been no slouch. His unique blend of evasive footwork and striking has so far been a riddle no one at 135-pounds can unravel. Slated for a second bout with Urijah Faber at UFC 132, Cruz will get the stiffest test of his career during his first Octagon appearance. That bout could potentially see a realignment of the bantamweight Top 5. Until then, here’s how we see the cream of the 135-pound crop …

(Before you criticize Torres for fighting smart against Banuelos, take a moment to refer back to that picture where you can see his freaking skull, would you please? PicProps: ESPN)

Remember back in 2004, when Nelly and Tim McGraw recorded that terrible duet and then made a video utilizing the magic of split-screen technology to show us that – while they might look and sound very different – they were actually leading surprisingly similar parallel lives? Man, if only we could do the same thing with Miguel Torres and Fedor Emelianenko right now. This situation practically screams for a buddy comedy: One is a wise-cracking former bantamweight champion from Chicago who tweets like a madman and lives life in the fast lane. The other is a stoic Russian former heavyweight champion who prefers the quiet surroundings of Stary Oskol over the city and likely considers the internet a form of witchcraft. Oh brother, these two will never get along, right? Wrong.

Torres and Emelianenko are actually more alike than you might think, as Torres himself points out to MMA Fighting.com this week. Both guys were once the undisputed kings of their respective weight classes, but in recent times both have been cast into adversity by a pair of high profile defeats. It just so happens that Torres is a little bit further along the path to redemption than Emelanenko is, so he has some friendly professional advice for his unlikely spirit brother. Oh, also it kind of sounds like he’s totally pissed about the recent (unwarranted) criticism of his (winning) performance in his UFC debut. It’s all after the jump.

(Damn, Arianny. Him too?)

After out-pointing Michael Johnson last December to win the TUF 12 lightweight trophy, Jonathan Brookins is gearing up for his first post-TUF opponent in the UFC. MMA Junkie reports that the super-chill bro-dog with the funky hair will take on Jeremy Stephens at the TUF 13 Finale (June 4th, Las Vegas). Stephens is 6-5 in the Octagon (19-6 overall), and most recently knocked Marcus Davis out of a job at UFC 125. Despite Stephens’s spotty record, he’ll be a tough challenge for Brookins, whose biggest weakness seems to be his standup defense; against an explosive power-puncher like Stephens, that could be a problem.

In other UFC booking news…